So is his wife!
For those who have followed this blog for a while, you might be a bit surprised to hear this, but …
… so was my mother, today. Hopefully, that won’t change.
Let me step back a bit! Things went so different than expected today, it actually feels like it’s been two days!
After I finished my rounds this morning, I grabbed the inner pipe for our septic expeller and headed out towards the barn. Once I got to the outer pipe, I could see that nothing had overflowed the pipe while the venturi pipe was out. I made sure to have my rubber boots on this time and walked around. The saturated area is quite large. Which, I suppose, makes sense if it’s been leaking for at least 6 weeks.
When I put the venturi pipe in, though, I did hear splashing, so there was at least some fluid making it into the pipe.
I had really hoped that somehow, it would be something as simple as seating the venturi valve at the bottom properly, but no. We will definitely need to get it excavated and repaired. Which is something I’ve been really dreading. The last time my brother had to get something excavated here because of a septic problem, it cost him over $5000.
Once I was done and cleaned up, I made myself some breakfast, then sat at my computer so I could start looking up companies while I ate.
Which is when the phone rang.
It was my mother.
Before I even picked up the phone, I knew what she was going to say. Even from the tone of her voice when we said our hellos, I could tell.
She did, however, ask me how I was doing, first. So I was honest with her.
I was doing terrible.
I then – very briefly – told her about what was happening with the septic, that we would need to have it excavated, but we had no way to pay for it. The stress of the whole thing was worse than I realized, because by the time I finished telling her that, I was almost crying – and it takes a LOT for me to cry!
Then, much to my shock, my mother said that she would help.
I never, ever, would have asked my mother for money for this. I know she has it, but when it comes to money, my mother’s behavior is particularly… unfortunate.
I’ll just leave it at that.
I told her that I was going to call for estimates, but couldn’t even guess how much it might cost. She just said, make sure it’s professionals doing it, and she would help.
Which just blows me away.
Unfortunately, my mother does have a history of offering help, and then trying to back out of it. She did it when she said she would pay for the movers, which was part of the deal for us to move here in the first place (in the end, she did pay most of it, but we still needed help from my brother to cover the rest). She tried to do it again after she agreed to pay for the new roof on this “perfect” house she asked us to move into. She’s done it to my brother, many times, over the years.
Still, just that she offered to help at all was greatly appreciated and a wonderful surprise.
After we talked about it a bit more, including my telling her I’ve been talking to my brother about all this, and that he also said, get an excavator, she told me why she was calling in the first place.
It was exactly what I expected.
She thought she was going to die last night, again.
Now, when she’s having these issues, she says she’s struggling to breathe, can’t breath, feels like she’s dying…
She said she tried taking “medicine” for it (most likely Tylenol), but it didn’t help. Then she took the “pink stuff” I’d bought for her.
The no-name Pepto.
I know she’d taken it before and found it helped, but I didn’t realize she’d stopped. She’s already on a prescription medication for acid reflux, so she shouldn’t need it.
She took some last night, and it worked. She felt much better!
She was, however, now out of it.
So we worked out that, after I had my breakfast, then made some phone calls, I would go pick up some more for her, and bring it to her.
My mother hadn’t slept during the night, so she was going to try sleeping in her comfortable chair while waiting for me to arrive.
I then started looking up some local companies that service septic systems, then made some calls. One of them was to the guy my brother usually called for work done here, but I was pretty sure he didn’t do plumbing anymore. He does do excavating, though, so maybe? The last few times I called him and left messages, he never called back, so it was a surprise when he actually answered the phone. I explained the situation, but I was right. He bought a memorial business a few years ago, and that has become his focus. Most of his excavating now is digging graves. He was apologetic, but I was expecting this.
I left messages with two other companies, but got a real human with a third.
I explained the situation and said that I was looking for estimates to pass on to my brother, as I don’t own the property. I know my brother would trust me with whomever I chose, but I would run it by him, anyhow – and it buys me the time to get multiple estimates.
When I described our ejection system with the expeller rather than a septic field, I was told that these are not supposed to be repaired anymore! If they break down, they are supposed to be replaced with a septic field.
I don’t think we can even do that. There are just too many trees and roots to mess with a field. That’s why we have the ejection pump system to begin with.
He was clearly familiar with systems like ours, though. He asked a few questions about what was happening and started looking things up, rattling off the parts and pieces we’d need, factoring transportation from the town they’re in (about 40 minutes drive away), then gave me a number.
$2032, before taxes.
Which was way less than I expected! In fact, it makes me wonder if he somehow didn’t include excavation in the estimate.
And estimate is an estimate, though, so I left it at that, and thanked him for it.
That done, I then got ready to head out to my mother’s, making a quick stop at the post office before they closed over the lunch hours. Not that I was expecting a package, but I’ve been surprised before. 😁
Then it was off to the pharmacy in my mother’s town, I got her “pink stuff”, then headed to her place.
When I got there, I found she had all sorts of food set out, including a hot lunch for me! She had just finished eating herself. I had to say no, as I’d just had breakfast and was still full. I did stay for a while, though, and we had a chance to talk. Long enough that I ate a muffin. 😄
I was very curious as to how she was feeling, before and after she’d taken the Pepto during the night. Particularly when it came to her breathing. She’s confused about it, too, but mentioned she was also dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. Which makes sense, if she literally felt like she was dying, and would also add to the problem.
If the Pepto helps, then it helps. Even if it’s psychosomatic, who cares? She feels better!
It did remind me to tell her the OT that visited her a while back had called me recently, and we talked about their visit. One of the recommendations she’d made to my mother was moving to a larger apartment, where she would have the space to use her walker inside (my mother parks her walker just outside her door, and uses a cane, or hangs onto the walls, counters, etc., inside).
I said that I told her, we want to get my mother into supportive living in the town where my brother lives, and that the OT said she would contact the guy in homecare. He will call one of us to arrange an appointment to go over the panel questions and application process with my mother. The last time he was there, it was a panel for a nursing home, which my mother feels she needs to be in, but she doesn’t qualify. She didn’t even qualify for assisted living.
Given how long it’s been, I said that I should probably call him myself and see if I can get an appointment made. My mother said to tell them, it has to be soon, because she might not be around much longer!
She’s turning 93 within a couple of weeks. She’s not wrong. But then, that could be true of any of us, at any time, as we painfully learned when the youngest of my brothers died at only 45.
We also talked about the septic issue a bit, but not too much, as it was making her feel anxious. I apologized, and told her that for me, right now, it’s hard to think of anything else!
While I was still with my mother, I got a message from my SIL. I just quickly skimmed over the preview, and saw that she was confirming they’d received my earlier updates about the septic system, but that my brother would get back to me about it, later.
I was able to stay a bit longer, but I could see my mother was starting to want me to leave. She was very tired. Her attempt at napping earlier had failed, and she wanted to try again. So I left soon after.
It wasn’t until I got home and on my computer again, that I finally read the rest of my SILs message.
It turns out that my brother is taking vacation days on Mondays now, they’d loaded up the trailer, and were coming out here today!
They must have been on the road already by the time I saw this and responded. I had some stuff to do inside, and planned to be back out before they got here, when I got a message saying they were here!
It’s a good thing my brother has a key for the gate!
By the time I threw on my outside shoes and headed out, they were pulled into the outer yard with their truck, trailer …
… and a bread van?
A large, formerly commercial bead van. Images of bread loaves on the side had been painted over, but the shapes were still very visible.
I had no idea they had one. Was it even theirs?
Then I saw the cement mixer.
*melt*
They had to get the tractor and rotary mower out of the barn first, then back the trailer up for unloading. I helped unload almost everything around the cement mixer. That was on skids. My SIL was on the trailer, moving things, and was able to drag it closer to the end. Once she and my brother got it off the trailer, I helped him move it into a space he prepared in the barn.
Not where he originally intended. He was going to put it in the lean-to side, but I told him, it rains in there! When the metal roof was put on the barn, the lean-to roof was not included.
It should have been.
To get the cement mixer to the space he prepared, we had to skid it over a massive board he’d brought last time, which now had three huge posts – posts he uses as a tripod to lift engines – on one side. Now, the posts would make it easier to move the skid over to the prepared space in an old cow stall, as they would roll, but as we were turning it, my brother stepped on one of the posts and it rolled out from under him. My heart almost stopped as I watched him fall!
Okay, it was a controlled fall. His old Tae Kwon Do lessons didn’t get forgotten. What really got me was how close his head came to the corner of a board on the other side of the barn’s centre aisle! I don’t think he realized just how close he came to a severe head injury!
My brother is my brother, though. He just got up and kept going, like nothing happened!
Gosh, he’s amazing.
Once that was done and the trailer moved away – the stuff remaining on it needed to go somewhere else – my SIL got on the tractor and went to do a bit more mowing. She was going to go where the storage warehouse is, but the truck and trailer were in the way! It was near the burn pile, though, so they moved it closer so we could unload some scrap wood to burn.
As she started digging the pieces out and passing them to me, I found myself setting pieces aside, as they were in good enough condition that I could use them with the small projects we build.
When it became clear that most of what they had was useable, I went and got my utility wagon. We loaded that up with almost all the wood they’d brought for the burn pile, then took it over to the garage. I cleared the top of an old shelf, and we stacked it on top.
I think I have what I need to make a door/ramp for the cat isolation shelter, now!!
Then my brother borrowed my driver, a short board, and some screws. The door to the hay loft on the barn was getting blown loose. It was tied closed on the inside, but that was giving out. So he basically just boarded it up. It’s not like we’re going to go up there. It’s too dangerous. If we need to access through those doors, we can just take the board off.
Over the next while, they traded off doing more mowing. My SIL started expanding the area around the storage warehouse while my brother and I moved some things out of the way. I had a chance to talk to him about having the scrap guys coming out, and what he was okay with them taking.
In short, there’s 5 cars, something we think is part of a truck (it’s almost completely hidden by grasses and burdock) and a threshing machine. With having the aluminum and batteries only, they would come out if they were already in the area. With a threshing machine and several vehicles as well, this should warrant a special trip.
All of this belongs to my brother, so any funds from selling the scrap metal will go towards taking care of the place.
That would include things like repairing the expeller on the septic system!
I don’t know how much we’d get for it all, but this company weighs things on site, and pays the going rate. I assume things like transportation and clean up will be taken off. I can’t even guess what we’d get for it. Probably not enough to cover the entire cost of the septic repair, but who knows? Prices might be good, whenever they get here.
I will just be happy for this stuff to be gone, and look forward to being able to clear out the vehicles in the old hay yard, too! All but one truck can go. I’m pretty sure my brother thinks he can get that truck going again. He’s the one who gave it to our father to use around the property. I don’t think it’s ever going to be roadworthy.
Meanwhile, my SIL cleared more of this area…
Gosh, it looks so much better! Plus, I should be able to collect some of the “hay” for mulch. Not anything close to the warehouse; there are too many burrs in there! There is lots that should be clean and not gone to seed yet, though.
My brother had already done part of this area, the last time they were here and brought the tractor. My brother took over the mowing after a while, as he had specific areas he wanted to get particularly clear, and went over them with the mower set lower.
He also cleared in front of the storage warehouse up to the three cars that are there, that the scrap dealer can now access. Eventually, they will most a lane to the secondary driveway.
Over the next few days, I’ll have to make a point of putting markers where the surviving Korean Pines are, as well as the ash tree my mother gave us, so they won’t mow over them by mistake!
With all this mowed, we can now access areas where we need to cut saplings away from buildings, before they start causing damage, too! It’s amazing how quickly areas I cleared out have become overgrown again.
Once the space he wanted was mowed to his satisfaction, my brother moved the bread van over and parked it. It turns out they’ve had it for years; I just never saw it before! Since they will be bringing more equipment to store out here over the next while, my brother plans to use this as his “house”. A place where he can change, or even sleep, whether or not we are around. Not that there isn’t someone home at all times, but since my husband has to have his hospital bed in the bedroom closest to the bathroom, we don’t have a spare bedroom to offer. They want to avoid disrupting us as much as possible.
The good thing about my brother doing all this in preparation for his retiring, and no longer haying on their property, is that we’re going to be seeing a lot of them over the next while!
Once all this was done, they had to head home right away. That’s going to be pretty much the pattern, over the next while. Whenever they can manage to come out here, they’ll bring another load of stuff, then will have to leave as soon as it’s unloaded stored.
We’re just happy to be able to see them so often!
I think this would be a good time for us to start going through the storage warehouse. My mother is adamant that we keep her stuff, though I do have permission to sell some of it (she keeps saying I should have a garage sale, which I will not do!), but there are bags and bags of old clothing and similar items, much of it belonging to my late father. My mother even left behind a whole lot of clothing, including a lot of underwear.
Packing those into bags was not the most comfortable of things! 😄
These bags of clothes can’t even be donated. They need to be taken to the dump. Once those bags are out, we’ve got boxes that are starting to collapse on themselves that need to be rearranged. They were labelled as detailed as we could when we packed them, and there is probably stuff we can still use. We just can’t get at things, the way it is now!
What I’d really like to do is get that building cleared out, so it can become a workshop again, and not a storage building!
But that is something we will have to deal with in time.
Little by little, it’ll get done!
The Re-Farmer
The Re-Farmer 