Well, we finally made it to Costco! Not the new location I was planning to go back to, but to the one that we have been going to regularly, since it was near where we could meet up with someone from the cat rescue and deliver a furball for adoption.
We did do a bit of non-pictured shopping. After delivering the cat, we went in and had breakfast. I ordered a large meal of Chinese food, knowing I could only eat half of it, and brought the other half home for my husband. That, plus my daughter’s food, totaled just under $50. Then my daughter wanted to look for something. While going through the mall, we passed a store I’ve never seen before that specialized in warm things – leggings, touques, mittens, blankets, scarves, slippers, etc.
Boxing day sales were still going on, and everything in the store was a flat $10 each.
We went in and my daughter found a display of slipper socks. She got a couple for herself and her sister. I got a couple for myself and my husband, if they fit. I also got a blanket and some suede moccasin style slippers. Hopefully, either the slippers or the slipper socks will fit my husband. If not, they might fit me. If they don’t fit me, they’ll fit the girls.
Each of the items I selected was regular price, $40. My total after taxes was $44.80.
After that, my daughter found a store with what she was looking for, and then we went to the Costco. I had planned to get gas first, but it was so busy, we just parked in the first open spot we could find – way out in a distant corner of the parking lot! At least we didn’t have to go into the overflow parking.
Oddly, it didn’t seem that busy once we were inside.
This is what our $$722.57 looks like.
That… really isn’t a lot.
I folded up the receipt because it had been pulled up part way through, so there were a lot of empty space, with an item count in the middle. It was only after I unfolded it that I realized there was a single item listed with the item count, too. A container of Parmesan cheese at $17.49
Aside from that…
For the big stuff that stayed on the cart, there is a case of Monster energy drinks, which I will be reimbursed for by a daughter, and a case of Coke Zero for my husband and I. There is a case of kitchen garbage bags, toilet paper, a 9 pack of pasta, a small case of tomato soup, and a double flat of eggs.
For cat stuff, there is four 9.1kg bags of kibble, a case of wet cat food and a case of puppy pads.
For the frozen and refrigerator stuff, there is a pork loin, which will be cut up into roasts and chops, and a pork blade roast. There’s a wheel of brie that was on sale, 5 pounds of butter, a block of Old Cheddar cheese, two packages of panini sandwich meats, a case of Oat milk, two 2 packs of salad mixes and a case of frozen pierogi.
Then there is a 2 pack of Vitamin D3, and some goat milk soap my daughter will be reimbursing me for, and a 2 pack of Head and Shoulders, which both my daughter and my husband use as an anti-fungal body wash, at the doctor’s recommendation.
There is also a container of popcorn, two big jars of mayonnaise, two 2 packs of rye bread, two packs of tortilla wraps, a case of instant oatmeal, and a case of ramen noodles.
I just realized, my daughter accidentally grabbed unsalted butter instead of salted butter. Oh, well. The price is the same! 😁
And that’s it.
Total number of items, 42. Total discounts, $15.30, but about $40 in taxes.
We got hardly any meat. Which is okay. With doing so many heat and eats for our Christmas and New Year’s celebrations, we still have some in the freezer.
Then we had to get the flat cart all the way to the truck. With so much packed snow, it took both of us to push it, and we kept having to stop to grab things that were vibrating off the cart.
Once we were loaded up, we went to fill the gas tank. The Costco price for regular gas was $0.999/L! It’s been ages since I’ve seen gas at under a dollar, even it if is barely a penny. Filling the tank cost $27.13
On the way out, we did stop at a gas station just outside the city. Mostly for a bathroom break before the drive home, but also to pick up some drinks, which my daughter paid for.
So, everything together today, including purchases at the mall, we spent about $844 in total.
Thank God this is just a once a month thing!
The next big purchase for the month will be a trip to the feed store to get 40 pound bags of kibble for the outside cats.
Ugh.
I’m glad to have the Costco shopping over and done with for the month, that’s for sure.
Meanwhile, I need to get that pork loin divided up for the freezer.
Today was our day to do our Costco stock up shop, but first, we had a cat to get into the carrier for the rescue!
They had asked for her tattoo, so we tried to get that for them first. My daughter and I both tried to see it, but it was completely illegible. Kohl was very patient with us – and very easy to get into the carrier! She wasn’t too happy with it, and completely ignored the squeeze treat I’d put into a bowl for her, but she was very well behaved, for the most part.
The only time she had real issues was while my daughter was loading the carrier into the truck. After that, she settled in and, aside from a few meows now and then, she was quiet and calm the whole time.
We ended up leaving early, because she was so cooperative, and we didn’t want to stuck in the carrier for longer than necessary. We used our largest one, so she had plenty of room, but it’s still an enclosed space. We store the carriers in the sun room, so they can go in and out as will, which helped.
I’m glad we left as early as we did. We got snow last night. Not enough that we had to dig out or anything, thankfully, but enough to make the roads a bit more treacherous. We ended up doing 90kph instead of the limit (100kph) until we reached my mother’s town.
I don’t know how much longer we can call it that!
We stopped at a gas station briefly, so I could send some updates while my daughter ran in to get some drinks and some beef jerky to tide us over, since neither of us had breakfast yet. We left almost an hour earlier than originally planned, but arrived at where we were supposed to meet only about half an hour early!
The lady from the rescue that came for Kohl had a wonderful surprise for us. Two big bags of donated items! She mentioned treats, but it looked like there was some canned cat food, too. I didn’t look too closely, as we were focused on moving Kohl. She wasn’t transferred to another carrier, so we’ll have to meet up some other time to get that back. We didn’t want to risk stressing her out more, or have her potentially escape! The second picture in the slide show above is after the carrier was moved to her car. I caught Kohl mid-meow, so she looks like she was hissing, but she was not.
After we were done, my daughter and I went into the mall for our brunch, then stayed a bit longer for my daughter to find something she needed, before going to Costco. That will be in another post, but after we got home and everything was put away, I finally got to unpack the bags of donations. Wow!
There were two cardboard boxes full of canned cat food, plus some loose tins. In a small grocery bag was more loose tins plus a baggie of smaller tins and individual portion containers, along with a slide lock bag with more kibble. There was a hole in the bag, though, so I didn’t try to take it out until I could dump it into a container for the outside cats.
Then there was the case of treats. It was unopened. I haven’t looked inside the individual boxes yet, but I think these are similar to the squeeze treats we’ve been able to sometimes get. These will go a long way towards helping socialize the more feral cats – though the more socialized ones might push their way in, instead. That’s the big challenge. How do we give treats to the more feral cats when there are socialized cats that aggressively barge in for attention, or to get at the treats?
We’ll figure it out. We’re just so incredibly grateful for the donation. We did pick up our usual case of wet cat food at Costco but, with these tins, we won’t need to get more at Walmart, later in the month.
Meanwhile, I’ve already heard from the lady from the rescue. She had opened up the carrier, including the top, but Kohl wouldn’t leave. By the time we got home, she had sent a short video of her reaching through the top to pet Kohl’s belly, and Kohl was being all kittenish in response. Still not leaving the carrier, but enjoying the pets! She just needs time.
Meanwhile, they’ve already found a groomer and she’ll have those mats taken care of within the next couple of weeks. They were still thinking that maybe they could be brushed out, but I don’t think that’s possible. She’s going to need to be shaved. Once she’s nekkid and free of those mats, she’s going to be a whole new cat! I believe it’s after she’s been to the groomer and, I think, vetted, that she will be going to a novice foster, before being officially added to the adoption list.
Assuming she ever makes it to the adoption list. There was someone interested in her already, but now there are now two people with the rescue that are already in love with her!
That seems to be a trend with cats from our colony. The Cat Lady has something like 6 cats from us, that they’ve adopted themselves!
We’re going to miss Kohl, but she is going to be so much happier once she’s adopted out to her forever home!
I’ve been talking with the rescue about her, because she is so incredible matted. They just got a new foster, so Kohl will be their first rescue! This should work out, as Kohl is already socialized and spayed, so she should be an easy one. They’ve already posted pictures of her on social media, requesting a volunteer groomer, or someone who could sponsor a groomer. She is so badly matted, she will likely need need a total shave. I picked her up and snuggled her this morning, and it was hard to find a place on her body that did NOT have any mats!
Tomorrow, I’ll be heading into the city to do our Costco stock up shopping. Instead of going to the new one, like we did last time, we’ll be going to our usual location. There’s a mall nearby where we’ll meet up with someone from the rescue and hand over Kohl. (I’m pretty sure my younger daughter will be coming with me, though I haven’t confirmed that yet.) After Kohl it picked up, we’ll hit the mall for breakfast/lunch before hitting the Costco.
There has already been interest shown in adopting Kohl, though one of the people in the rescue is very tempted to adopt her, herself. However, like us, she already has too many indoor cats!
With the stock up shopping about to happen, my goal for today was the clear more of the inner yard so there would be more room for the truck to turn around and back up to the house.
This is how it looked when my daughter first cleared a turn around space towards the outhouse, as well as a path to the litter compost pile behind it.
While she used little Spewie, I would break up the edges of with the snow shovel so that it would be easier for Spewie to get through, as the snow was too deep and areas were getting packed pretty hard by high winds. It took quite a while for my daughter to clear the space, and it left her having to use a cane for the next two or three days!
When I tried to actually use the turn around space, it turned out that “point” in the middle was still a problem. One corner of the truck hit it as I turned. That normally wouldn’t have been a problem except 1) the snow was even more hard packed by then and 2) the plastic shield under the bumper was already loose on that corner and held in place with clear duct tape. That got torn loose, and now it’s hanging again. Even if I had more of the duct tape, I couldn’t use it because it’s too cold for adhesive to stick.
So my main focus was to widen the whole area but to especially clear out that “point”.
In the first picture, you can see I was also able to clear a path to the outhouse (our emergency second bathroom). I used a shovel to clear space at the door so it had room to swing open, because there’s a high density foam mat under the snow that somehow has raised edges. The last time I tried to clear in front of the door with Spewie, it caught on the mat and actually tore it up a bit!
The path to the litter compost pile was already done by my daughter before, so I just used a shovel to clear it again a bit more, then tidied it up a bit with Spewie, later.
In the next picture, you can see where I’d widened the area by the tree a bit, and turned that “point” into a diagonal. The first 50 feet or so weren’t to bad, but past that, the snow was so hard packed, I couldn’t use the shovel to break it up anymore. I had to use the ice scraper to basically chop the snow up into pieces small enough for Spewie to be able to go over them without breaking.
I honestly felt tempted to stop and get a machete to try cutting snow blocks and build an igloo! 😄 Or even just snow walls strategically placed to block the wind. That area’s snow would have been ideal for that.
In the last picture, you can see I cleared space on the other side of the sidewalk, too. There had been a small triangle of snow between paths that I got rid of completely. That gives us more room to back up, plus move around the back of the truck with the tail gate open.
Once that was done, I decided to see how much more I could do. After adding a third extension cord from the garage, I had enough length to not only clean up and widen some cat paths, but I was able to clear a path to the fire pit and BBQ, clear enough space around the fire pit for chairs, paths to the wood pile and branch pile, and finally a path around the old kitchen garden so we can access the septic tank, if needed.
I’m so glad I set up the emergency septic bypass before the snow fell. There’s so much snow on top of it right now, you can barely see where the pipes and hose are at all! I don’t expect we’ll need to use it. If the ejector was going to freeze again like last winter, it would have happened by now. Still, it’s good that it’s set up now, just in case. If we did end up needing to use it, the only thing we’d need to do is clear the snow away from the end of the hose in the maple grove, so the grey water wouldn’t end up freezing into a block at the end.
Then, I did some clearing in the outer yard. I widened some turning space to get into the garage – that required more breaking up of snow with the ice scraper, too. Last of all, I cleared some paths to a couple of my brother’s trucks. He has solar panel trickle chargers set up in their windows. He was able to use his gas powered snow blower to clear a path to one truck, but it was too big to clear paths to the other two. I’d checked on them to clear snow away from the windows in front of the solar panels, and found the snow was quite deep. For me, that’s something that could easily result in my having another fall. I could have shoveled the paths, I suppose, but Spewie is small enough to get in there.
By the time I was done and put everything away, I’d been out there for more than three hours.
I really enjoy work like this, so it didn’t feel like it was very long at all, but once I was done and putting things away, my body was starting to tell me it wasn’t too happy!
On the plus side, my new coat was more than enough to keep me warm out there. I had tried to use the collar to keep my lower face warm, but all that really did was cause my glasses to frost up. I ended up going inside and my husband took them and set them aside from me, so most of this was done without my glasses. I could see a lot better without them than with!
Once I was inside and settling in with some food, things really started to stiffen up. I sat at my bedside to take my meds before eating, and had to get my daughter to help me stand up again, even though I now keep a cane with feet near my nightstand as an aid to standing up. It wasn’t enough today!
It does mean that I’ll probably have issues tomorrow, which is why I’m pretty sure one of my daughters will be coming with me, as my mobility assistant.
I figure today is a good day to go to bed early – after taking more painkillers!
I gotta say, though, it feels so good to get all that done, I really don’t mind the pain!
Well, I hope you all had a wonderful time bringing in the New Year! Or, at least, a calm and peaceful one. 😁
I didn’t make it to midnight. 😄
It actually turned out to be a very strange day for me. I’d gone to bed early, so I was up pretty early. I did the outside cats stuff and my short, winter version of my morning rounds, then tried to go back to bed. After numerous interruptions, I did actually get some sleep. So, you’d think I would have been good to stay up until midnight. After all, I rarely get to be before midnight on a normal day. Instead, I could have easily gone back to bed by 5 or 6.
The other odd thing was my body was basically falling apart, all day. Just with normal walking around the house, I’d have a knee start to give out, or a hip start to dislocate. Even just reaching to flush the toilet had my shoulder socket trying to dislocate. Then there were my hands! At one point, I’d made myself a hot drink in one of my giant mugs, which are basically twice the size of a typical coffee mug. When I tried to pick it up by the handle, I found I didn’t have enough grip strength to clasp the handle enough to keep it from sliding through my fingers. I ended up having to ask a daughter to pick it up for me, so that I could grasp it with both hands. It wasn’t until the cup was half empty that I could grip the handle with one hand and not be at risk of dropping it. It was so bizarre!
That was yesterday, but when I woke up today, it was pretty much back to normal. I have no idea why I had such issues yesterday, that would go away overnight like that.
This morning I was feeling good enough that, after doing my rounds, I scraped and cleared the sidewalks and main doorway steps, tidy up the paths that were already dug, and even started to extend more paths. Little by little, I want to dig our way to the fire pit again, but I was going to head back out to open up the turn around space in the inner yard. We will be doing our Costco stock up trip soon, and I want to be able to back up to the house with more room to turn the truck around in the yard.
Well, that’s going to be my focus for tomorrow, instead.
I had called my mother last night to with her a Happy New Year, and she gave me a bit of a list of things she wanted from her place. One of those things was her short wave radio that my brother got for her, so she could listen to her Polish station, with Mass and praying of the rosary.
I passed on to my brother bout the radio, and this morning they told me they were going to her place to get it, and did I want to meet them at the hospital to visit Mom?
I suggested I meet them at her apartment, so I could back some things for her, then they could grab the radio, then we’d go to the hospital together.
So that was the new plan for the day. I was able to leave soon after, which was really early, but I wasn’t sure if I needed to do any shoveling at the end of the driveway. It turned out I didn’t, and there was no need for the plows to go by again. That had me at my mother’s place before they even left home. Which was just fine.
I checked her answering machine, then packed a few things in a bag for my mother, spotting some things I figured she would like to have, even though she hadn’t asked for them directly. I also made sure to water her rosemary plant. That will be coming here to the farm eventually, but I didn’t want to grab it only to have it sitting in a cold truck until I could get home.
I was even able to get the radio partially ready. I just couldn’t get the special antennae down from where it was taped to the window. I’m too short. So when my brother got there, that was all he had to deal with, so he was done and we were heading out in less than 5 minutes.
They have one of their grandsons with them for a while, and the long drives were great for him to get a solid nap in!
Once there, my brother immediately started trying to set up the radio and antennae. In the end, there was just no way to get a strong enough signal for her FM radio station. He was able to find it, but it was really hard to hear, and there was no place he could set up the antennae and get a better signal.
My mother could not grasp why this was an issue. She was instead convinced my brother had bought her a “junk” radio (it is a very high end shortwave radio), because she never had problems before. Meaning, also back here at the farm. My brother told her that we were getting AM radio, but what she was listening to was FM radio. I well remember how hard it was to get an FM signal here, having had to set up antennae wires from my radio when I was a kid. In the end, my brother was able to find an AM station that she used to listen to. No Polish radio, no Christian station, but one where she could at least listen to the news. All she has to do it push the red button to turn it off and on. We tried to stress for her to not touch any dials. Hopefully, she will remember that!
Meanwhile, I unpacked the items I brought for my mother, making sure where I was putting them for her. She was quite happy when she saw some of the extras I’d bought, as they were things she wanted, but had forgotten to ask for.
We then had ourselves a decently long visit. She did seem really tired, and had almost no patience. For example, when my brother started to set up her radio beside her, the folding hospital walker was in the way. He moved it aside and I was going to get it out of the way, but I first had to move the wheelchair aside. My mother started demanding I move the walker to a certain spot, which was basically where the wheelchair was sitting, but when I didn’t immediately do it – because I was moving the wheelchair – she suddenly became enraged and actually started to kick at the walker from where she was sitting, in such a way that could easily have resulted in a fall. When we managed to get her calmed down and I could finally move the walker, she basically just slumped into her chair and started saying how, she’s used to doing things herself, but now has to depend on us, as an explanation for her behaviour. I told her, even she couldn’t do two things, like moving a walker and a wheelchair, at the same time! Which she did acknowledge. Sort of.
It was a good visit, though at times a distracting one, with a very energetic great grandson around. My brother got some recordings of my mother telling stories and singing. I’m glad he thinks to do that. I hardly ever remember to even take photos when I visit!
Once we were done with the visit, we wanted to go somewhere to chat and catch up on things. Being New Year’s Day, the only place that was open and had seating was a Subway. It wasn’t a busy time of day, so we were able to stay and talk for quite a long time. Again, it was very distracted with their grandson, but none of us minded. Eventually, we were able to cover quite a few things, and I even learned more about things that happened while we were living in other provinces over the years. We’re all quite confused over my sister’s recent actions involving our vandal which, I learned, has been a problem for quite some time. It seems both our vandal and my mother have been able to manipulate her very easily. Which is odd, because she really should know better by now. In all honesty, it seems my sister is showing cognitive issues as well, and is not at all as healthy as she may seem. I see way too many red flags. But, she’s skinny, and we all know that skinny people don’t get sick, right? /sarcasm
In the end, we just have to work with the hand we are dealt with and do the best we can, for each other as well as for our mother.
It was getting pretty late in the afternoon by the time we parted ways. One of the two grocery stores in town was open today, so I made a quick stop to pick up a few things before our Costco stock up trip. I haven’t decided exactly when I’ll be doing that, other than not-tomorrow. We are actually supposed to warm up slowly over the next 7-10 days, with expected highs next week just a few degrees below freezing. A good time to do more snow clearing, very little of which can be done with little Spewie. The parts that can be done with Spewie still need to be broken up with a shovel, first. The snow is deeper than Spewie is tall, and much of it is now hard packed by the wind.
One thing I’ve been able to see through various windows are some pretty large fallen branches, but they will have to wait until spring for clean up.
So what was supposed to be a home day ended up being an out all day, day. The nice thing is that I’ve got the girls able to take over my usual outside routine while I’m gone – plus, I came home to supper waiting for me! 😊
As for my mother, we’re going to have to wait until her attending doctor comes back from holidays before we can have a meeting with him and discuss next steps. Once we have something solid to work on, we’ll be able to make decisions about my mother’s apartment.
*sigh*
I have no idea what we’re going to do with her furniture. It’ll probably have to come here to the farm, but we’ve pretty much run out of storage space for larger stuff. We still have all the stuff we cleared out of the house and packed away, because my mother insisted nothing be thrown out. Fair enough. Most of it is in too good a shape to throw away. She did say we could have a garage sale, but that wouldn’t work out well. Not just because of our relative isolation, but that would be an open invitation for our vandal to cause problems. She’s also adamant that nothing goes to any second hand stores, either. So what are we supposed to do with it all?
Ah, well. We’ll figure it out, in due time.
Until then, here’s some cuteness to share with you.
This is Leyendecker and Susan. Can you believe they are siblings from the same litter – and that Leyendecker started out as the tiniest kitten of the litter? He’s an absolute giant, compared to his sister. He’s not just a fat cat, but a big beast in general. He’s even bigger than Big Rig, who was the largest kitten of the litter. She’s a chonk, too, but not quite as big as he is. Susan is one of our smaller, lighter cats now. Their mom is Beep Beep, who is a pretty normal sized cat. Bigger than Susan, but still dwarfed by two of her last babies, before we were finally able to get her fixed.
Okay, I should have gone back over my old posts, first.
Susan is not from the same litter as Leyendecker. She’s one of Beep Beep’s, but older. Beep Beep’s last litter included Leyendecker, Big Rig and two orange babies, Saffron and Turmeric. She also adopted Butterscotch’s last surviving kitten, Nikko, from that year. The orange babies and Butterscotch’s baby all got adopted out. They were pretty much the first kittens the Cat Lady adopted out for us, before she started her own rescue. My daughters just reminded me that Susan is Cheddar’s sibling. So… she is still the tiny sister of a giant cat. Just not the biggest chonky boy of the household! 😄
It gets hard to keep track, at times! It’s a good think I journal this stuff here, or I’d never remember. 😄
This is what I find pretty much every time I open the inner door from the old kitchen. Sir Robin, perched on the edge of the screenless window. He stays balanced, even as I open and close the door! Sometimes, there are two or three cats on there when I open the door.
Today has been a pretty uneventful day, with just normal daily routine, except for two things.
The first was a call I got from my brother. He’d received a call from the hospital, and the first thing he said to me was, our mother is okay!
She had a fall today. She somehow managed to slide off the toilet. She was able to reach the call button, but when they arrived, she refused help. !!! She managed to get up on her own, which amazes me, considering the state of her knees. No injuries. No bruises. She’s fine.
She did, however, tell them she can’t go home. She can’t take care of herself anymore. I’ve been saying this from the start, and I know my brother has as well, but she is finally voicing it more directly, too.
My brother did try to talk to someone at the nursing home my mother wants to go to. He got the run around on who he should be talking to, only to be told he should be talking to someone else, instead, etc.
What I found interesting is that the staff there remember my late father, with fondness. My father passed away almost 10 years ago. He was in the nursing home for only about 6 months. Yet, they still remember him! That it is with fondness is no surprise. Every time I called my dad, he would always comment on how well they took care of him. My father was always showing his gratitude and appreciation.
God, I miss him.
The other thing was my sister. No details, of course, but she finally responded to my calling her out on her telling our vandal that my mother was in the hospital. I was careful to challenge what she did, without attacking her personally. Basic rule of debate and argumentation: attack the idea, not the person.
Well, she never addressed a single point I made, but instead attacked me personally while making herself out to be a victim again.
Long store short, I ended up blocking her on FB, and removing her from the family group chat.
There is background to this, which I will not go into, here, but I’m still disappointed. Not surprised, but I had hoped it would not end up this way.
The frustrating part is, my mother makes a big deal about how we wants us all to get along, but she’s the one that keeps playing us against each other, wanting us to keep secrets from each other, and it was her manipulation of my sister that lead to this.
I feel very tired right now, and not in a physical sense.
That first picture, we actually named her Fluffy. We got her to the vet and they wanted a name. It was all I could come up with, quickly! We got her in only because she willingly walked into a carrier. Once in a while, she lets us pet her.
The second picture is of another fluffer, but with more white on the chest. With how much they move around, that extra white is the primary way we can tell them apart. That one has taken to hanging out on the window shelf while I put the food out, and has been willing to let me do that, and even not running away while I pet other cats beside it. It has even sniffed my fingers a bit. I’ve managed to touch him (I’m going to guess “him”, only because – as far as I can tell – he didn’t get pregnant last year), but he takes off when I do.
These are both among the oldest kittens of this past year. A matched set of adorable fluffiness.
Now that I look at the picture, I can see why the one tends to have its eye looking half closed all the time. There seems to be an issue with the inner eyelid.
Now, on to the frustrating part.
My daughter and I went into town today. I brought a couple of things for my mother, so we were going to go there first, then go to the grocery store for our last shop of the year.
My mother had requested some of her Pepto, because what the hospital was giving her apparently wasn’t working. She wanted me to sneak it in to her and not tell them. Which I had no intention of doing, but I did bring a bottle from the stash I brought to our place, because my brother buying her to many made her angry instead of thankful. I also grabbed another of my mini tagine sauce bowls for my mother to use to count her pills. I’m glad I had a set of four of those, because two are already at my mother’s apartment!
Our first stop was at the nurse’s station. I showed them the Pepto and explained why my mother wanted it. They had to keep it so that a doctor could authorize it, and she made sure to label it with my mother’s name as we talked. I also showed her the tiny tagine and explained about my mother using it to count pills, because home care would sometimes drop a pill while getting them out of her bubble packs. Now that she’s putting them in her palm to count them, she doesn’t seem to be seeing them as well, and has miscounted. I just wanted them to know what it was there for.
My daughter and I then went on to visit my mother.
The first surprise was that her door was not quite shut. There’s a sign on her door to keep it closed at all times.
The second surprise was when we walked in and found she had a visitor.
Our vandal.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When he saw us walk in, he immediately began to say his good byes and left, not making eye contact with us at all. I did say Happy New Year as he went by, but he ignored it.
After he was gone and I gave my mother a hug hello, I asked if she knew how he found out she was in the hospital. She just threw her hands up and said, maybe my sister. I wasn’t sure about this, since my siblings and I had been talking about making sure not to tell anyone about my mother being in the hospital, so that word would not get to him.
Thankfully, he was on good behaviour, even though his wife was not there, but she had specifically told him not to come around anymore, after his last yelling session at her place, not that long ago. It didn’t stop him from leaving a really nasty letter more recently. We really hoped that she would be safe from him in the hospital. She tried to say he was being okay, but I pointed out to her that’s because she’s in a hospital, not at her apartment – but that this could change at any time.
Then I told brought out her little pill counting bowl, which she was happy with. I told her about bringing the Pepto and leaving it at the desk, which she got angry with. She had told me not to do that, because she intended to basically sneak taking it without the hospital staff knowing. I told her, she can’t do that. They need to know what she is taking, when and how. She complained that they took away her painkillers and I said, it’s the same thing. They can’t leave medications because patients might make mistakes. Oh, but she doesn’t have that problem, so they should let her keep her extra meds. I had to tell her, they can’t pick and choose who they can do this with and pointed out that she does forget things.
Then she got mad at me for another reason. I was wearing my work sweats, and I’ve got a tear in one pantleg. She spotted the hole and got angry. I shouldn’t wear clothes with holes in them because we live in the best country in the world.
…
???
Needless to say, we didn’t stay long. Her lunch was about to be delivered, anyhow.
As we left, I stopped at the nurse’s station again. I’d called about our vandal before, and I wanted to confirm with them who he was. I made sure they knew I understood there isn’t much they can do, but at least there was an awareness of a potential problem.
I had suggested that my daughter go on ahead to the truck while I talked to the, but she stayed with me. She was concerned that our vandal might be hanging out in the parking lot. I later found out that he’s getting his chemo at this hospital, so he’s going to be there regularly.
*sigh*
Also, for someone who is dying, he looked really good and pretty spry.
Thankfully, he wasn’t stalking us in the parking lot, but we also had to keep in mind that he might also be at the grocery store we were going to. Once we parked there, I sent a quick update to my siblings in our chat group about him being there before going in (we never saw him in the grocery store, either, thankfully).
While shopping, I got a response from my sister, saying that people from church had recognized my mother, so that’s probably how word got out. I made a short response saying that my mother thought my sister had told him, but was just guessing. My brother tried to phone me on my cell, but it was just too loud for us to talk. My daughter and I had our own shopping lists, so we took care of that, loaded up the truck, then headed home.
My phone started dinging while we were driving so, when we stopped along the way for my daughter to check the mail, I took a look.
This is where I’m going to be fighting a battle between being honest about things on this blog, while being careful not to say things I shouldn’t, even though this blog is anonymous.
Long story short, my sister did tell our vandal about my mother being in the hospital – at my mother’s request. They both tried to hide that from me and my brother.
The whole point of our group chat has been to communicate with each other because my mother likes to play us against each other, telling each of us different things about the same topics and the like. We also need to protect my mother, not just from people like our vandal, but from herself, if necessary. Yet, my sister still let my mother manipulate her, and … let’s just say, she didn’t see the problem with this. Even after I pointed out that she put my mother’s health and safety at risk, by going along with my mother’s self sabotaging demands.
My brother and SIL, meanwhile, were on their way to visit my mother as well. Once we had the chance, we talked on the phone while they made a stop along the way. As you can imagine, they were pretty alarmed by what my sister did, too, and that our vandal showed up. My sister added something else that is of concern, too. Our vandal’s wife works for the health care system, in some administrative capacity, and apparently said something about the waiting list for the nursing home my mother wants to get into. There have been other things that have come up that suggest that she’s been looking up private medical files and passing things on to our vandal, and that seems to have happened again in relation to my mother. This, of course, would be a PIPA violation.
Anyhow, once at home and settled in, I responded to my sister about what happened. I tried to be very careful in addressing the issue without making personal attacks. She responded with a personal attack.
*sigh*
Unfortunately, all this shows is that my sister cannot be trusted when it comes to caring for our mother, because she allows herself to be manipulated. That is involved our vandal took it from being a minor frustration to alarming, because it has literally put my mother’s safety at risk – and both she and my mother tried to keep it a secret from my brother and I, because they both knew we were against our vandal having access to my mother!
*arrrrggggghhhh*
When they were done their visit, my brother called to update me while they were driving home. They had an all right visit. My mother wouldn’t have said anything except the noticed and commented on a box of chocolates (my mother keeps saying, she doesn’t want sweets) and a Christmas card signed by our vandal and his wife. She then acted like she just remembered that, oh, right, our vandal had come to see her – but he behaved well!
*sigh*
They explained to her, why this is a problem and told her that, if he shows up again, to use the call button so someone will come over, and see that he’s there. That will make things a bit safer for her, at least.
My brother had tried to get some idea of what’s going to be happening with Mom. Everyone is saying we need to talk to someone else, and no one knows anything. One thing we do know now is, if my mother gets paneled to go straight to a nursing home from the hospital, rather than being discharged to home, they will start billing her for her time in the hospital. She would no longer be their patient, so the province won’t cover her costs anymore, so she’ll basically be charged for room and board.
Which means we’re going to have to do something about her apartment, so she’s not paying both at the same time. Yet, we can’t really start doing that until we officially know that she won’t be coming back to her apartment.
My mother has so. Much. Stuff. In that tiny apartment. This is not going to be easy. Most of it is papers she refuses to throw away, but there’s important stuff mixed in with stuff that she should have thrown away long ago. She has a habit of reusing envelopes from junk mail or solicitations for donations and sticking important things in them, all mixed up.
Well, it will need to be done, and that will mostly fall on me, since I’m the closest and my schedule is the most flexible. At least I’ll have a daughter or two, to help me!
I really wish we didn’t have to deal with this whole soap opera going on, and could just focus on taking care of my mother!
Ah, well. Such is life. As my dad used to say, you can laugh, or you can cry, and I’d rather laugh.
Ha! Colby looks so angry in that first picture. The second picture is a feral we can’t touch. S/he always seems to have one eye half closed, and it’s not always the same eye. We might have to call him/her Wink! 😁
The third picture is Hypotenose. He was really wanting attention today!
Last of all, we had Stinky, glowing in the sunlight, and the fluffy feral that looks like Fluffy, but has more white on the chest. This one is finally accepting the offer of food, up on that window shelf, and sometimes, I can sneak a touch.
In other things…
I’m happy to say, my left knee that I bashed last night is doing pretty good. There’s swelling and I can still see a mark, but it doesn’t hurt to the touch, like my right knee still does. That one is getting very colourful as it recovers.
I still can’t figure out how I managed to bash that left knee so hard into the door.
Meanwhile…
Last night, I got an automated notification from my mother’s Lifeline system. When their system reads there might be a technical issue with connectivity, it sends these with instructions to test it. My mother has the Lifeline pendant with her in the hospital. I’ll have to remember to grab that and return it to her apartment.
The notification came so late in the day that, when I called the 800# in the message, it went straight to an answering service that said to call back during office hours. So I called them up today. The call went straight to voice mail, so I let them know my mother was in the hospital and we don’t know when – or if – she is coming home, so to suspend her service for now.
I called the hospital to see how things were with her, and was able to talk to her nurse for today. He had just checked on her. We talked about her concerns with the pills she’s getting. He confirmed that she has been getting her eye vitamin for the past while, though it was a tablet version, not the almost black gel cap type pill she was used to. He told me she empties the pill cup into her palm and counts the pills every time, but sometimes miscounts. This morning, she counted 7 when there were 8, and he suggested she count again. She got the right number the second time. I explained about how, with home care, they would sometimes drop pills, so we had a special little bowl with a lid to put the pills into, that made it easy to count them. Her failing vision may be a contributing factor, too.
Still no information from any doctors on her condition, nor what the next stage will be.
I then got transferred to her room to talk to her, and she was very happy for the call. I told her some of what the nurse told me, and she requested her little bowl to put the pills into for counting. I don’t know when I’ll be at her place next, though, but she said there is no hurry.
She mentioned they took away her painkillers. These would have been her T3s from home. I suspect she may have been taking them, then forgetting she took them and took them again. She brought up again how, she’s taking all these pills, but she still feels this or that – things that are unrelated to what she is being medicated for. Then she asked me to bring her Pepto. It took some questioning, but it seems the hospital did have her some sort of substitute. White instead of pink, and more liquidy. Apparently, it isn’t helping, so she wants her Pepto – but don’t tell them about it! I told her, I can bring the Pepto (I have her spare bottles here at home), but she can’t be hiding things from the hospital staff. They need to know if she’s taking something.
We have plans to go into town tomorrow and pick up a few extras for New Year’s, so I can swing by to visit her as well.
Then she mentioned that her niece had visited her a few times.
This surprised me, because we’ve been making a point of not telling anyone my mother is in the hospital, so our vandal doesn’t find out. My cousin is still pretty close with him, as far as we know, so we weren’t going to tell her. I asked my mother who told her, and she thinks it was my sister, but didn’t know for sure.
After I finished talking to my mother, then updating my siblings, I called the nursing station back and explained the situation. There isn’t much they can do if our vandal shows up, but they are now at least aware of a potential problem. Hopefully, he’s too sick to visit my mother and try to guilt her into giving him money or something, and it’ll be a non-issue.
It really sucks that we have to even think about that sort of thing while my mother is in the hospital!
Well, it is what it is, and we’ll deal. The main thing is, there will now be a notice on her file and they are aware of a potential issue. If all goes well, he still knows nothing about my mother and everything will stay quiet.
This has been a ridiculous year for me hurting myself.
Since we took care of clearing out my mother’s place of perishables and delivered stuff to her at the hospital yesterday, today was going to be a laundry day for all of us, and I was looking forward to staying home.
Then I fed the outside cats last night, took a good look at what we had left in their kibble bin, then at the weather forecasts. I decided it was worth making a trip to Walmart to get more kibble, just in case.
We had some snow last night, so I did some scraping of sidewalks and shoveling of paths this morning, after feeding the outside cats. As I was finishing up, I found these bundles of adorableness.
That tabby is one that sometimes lets us pet it, I think. The one we names Sweetie during our botched trip to the vet. There are two that are hard to tell apart; Sweetie lets us touch, the other doesn’t. I haven’t been able to pet Colby lately. He just towers over the other kittens! The mostly black one that’s on the left is, I think, Domino. The one that would have been big enough to spay during our botched vet trip, except that would have left Bug and Sweetie stuck in a strange place for hours. Again, I’m not sure, because there are two mostly black kittens that are hard to tell apart. Domino lets us touch, the other one doesn’t!
That done, I decided to check the hours for the feed store at my mother’s town and discovered they were open for short hours today (the other feed store is not open on Saturdays at all), which meant I only needed to drive for about half an hour, instead of about an hour. Plus, I could get bigger bags.
So I headed out in the late morning. The highway was pretty covered with packed snow and ice, and every now and then, I would get completely blinded by snow kicked up by oncoming traffic. Still, it was passable, and I’m glad I decided to go today rather than wait. We’re supposed to get more snow tomorrow. We’re going to have to clear as much of it away as we can, so it doesn’t build up too much on the driveway.
I picked up two 40 pound bags of kibble at the feed store, though I seriously considered getting three, just in case. They cost more at this feed store, though, so the budget decided that two was enough. We will be fine until after New Year’s. I’m just not going to assume we’ll be able to get out and do any shopping before it becomes a necessity.
My daughters had started up the laundry while I was gone, and one of them met me at the garage to help carry the bags in, so I wouldn’t have to drive up to the house. All was going well.
When it was time to feed the outside cats for the evening, I got up to leave my bedroom/office. My door was partially closed, so I started swinging it open to leave.
Somehow, I manage to absolutely slam my left knee into the edge of the door.
Hard.
Hard enough that my daughters came running down the stairs when they heard the noise to check on me!
One of them helped me get to the bathroom and, when I told her I was planning to feed the outside cats next, she took that over for me.
I knew I would need to be proactive, which meant taking my anti-inflammatories a bit early, as well as my prescription painkillers, which I hardly ever need to take. I’ve been taking them more often since I had my fall on the concrete floor in the sun room a few days ago. My right knee is decidedly colourful right now.
My older daughter was a sweetheart and reheated some leftovers for me, so I could take my meds with food (the anti-inflammatories can be very rough on the stomach if they’re not taken with a full meal). When I had the chance, I took a look at my left knee and found a remarkably rectangular red mark, the exact width of my door. 😄
Good grief.
This summer, I tripped on a branch stub of the tree trunk I was working on and had a fall severe enough I had to get my daughter to bring my husband’s walker and help me get up. My left arm and shoulder still hasn’t fully recovered from that. Then, blinded by my frosted over glasses, I tripped on the open door of a cat carrier and fell, hurting my right knee and jarring the left side of my body, which I am still recovering from. Now, I’ve somehow managed to bash my own knee against the edge of a door. Minor injuries are expected, given the sort of work I do outside, but this is the first year I’ve hurt myself this badly, so many times!
On the plus side, I quickly applied Voltaren to my knees (both of them, since my right knee still hurts), which tided me over until the pain killer and anti-inflammatories kicked in. So I’m feeling pretty okay. We’ll see, over the next few days, just how much damage I did to myself.
I was telling my daughter, I feel like I should just crawl into a cave and sleep for the rest of the winter!
Today’s main goal was to get to my mother’s place and clear out her refrigerator of perishable items, then get her bubble packs to the hospital, before the snow arrived.
My daughter came with me to help out, so she was able to get started on the fridge while I packed a bag of stuff for my mother. There were a few things she asked specifically for, and others I grabbed that I knew she would want, such as her daily devotions book (which is held together with duct tape, she’s read and re-read it so often), the LED candle I got for her for when she said her prayers and when someone from church brought her communion, and a couple of rosaries. A neighbor has been bringing her mail for years and sliding it under her door, and there were a few envelopes we brought for her, too. Of course, I also brought her knee warmers that I washed and added elastic cord to, which will hopefully keep them from sliding off, and the warm sleeping cap I made for her yesterday.
I had done a grocery shopping trip for my mother shortly before she went into the hospital, so there was quite a bit for us to bring home! Some things had to be thrown away, so we took out her garbage, too. I even remembered to give her rosemary plant a deep watering. There are still a few things in her fridge that aren’t perishable that we are leaving until we come back to shut it off and clean it all out. Not sure when that will happen.
Once everything was packed up, checked out, put away and tended to, my daughter and we had 5 of our hard sided grocery bags to bring home (!!!) plus the items to bring to the hospital. That included her bubble packs that they asked for, plus I found and grabbed the prescription anti-fungal medication for her infected toe that she never used, as she can’t apply it herself. My daughter remembered to grab the baggie of foot care stuff I brought for her, which can now only be used by her, unless sterilized.
It didn’t take very long with two of us working on it, and we were soon loaded and heading to the hospital.
When we got there, my first stop was at the nursing station to drop of my mother’s bubble packs. I pointed out the eye vitamins, and the woman I spoke to said they just don’t have those at all. I also brought out the anti-fungal medication and explained that my mother couldn’t apply it herself. I don’t know that they do that sort of foot care. You’d think they would, considering it’s a hospital, but as I told her what it was, she seemed very… confused? Not sure what other word to use, but it left me thinking, it’s not going to get used.
My mother was sleeping when came in, so we tried to be quiet, but she heard us and got up. We showed her what we brought for her, some of which needed repeating, but she eventually got it and was able to instruct us on where to put things. Then we stayed for a bit of a visit and a chat. That went over well, for the most part – she was happy to see my daughter this time. There were a couple of head shakers, though.
She started telling us that things are quieter at night, now, because she was saying something (I shudder to think how she phrased things). There’s even a hand written sign on her door, to keep closed at all times. She started getting into her favourite thing to complain about: people laughing. As she went on about it, we tried to say, laughing is good. It’s healthy. It’s one thing to have an issue with how loud things are, but there’s nothing wrong with laughing.
Turns out, she really does think there’s something wrong with laughing. People shouldn’t be laughing in the hospital, because there are sick people who are feeling bad, and that will make them feel worse. Of course, she is projecting herself, here, and assumes other patients are as bothered by it as she is. This attitude towards laughing is not new at all. Even when we would be in a restaurant or something and people at another table would laugh loudly, she would get angry. As if she thought they were laughing at her (in some instances, she really did think people were laughing at her, even though they were talking about something else entirely). There were a few times when she would suddenly, loudly, do her sarcastic imitation of a laugh. Got some strange looks out of it, as you can imagine. My daughter even tried to point out that sometimes, people laugh to make other people feel better, and my mother’s response was that they could smile or say nice things, but laughing was for … I think she said for the bar or something like that, but I can’t quite remember. Basically, in her mind, no laughing should happen in hospitals. Because she doesn’t like it. She even tried to misuse the Bible to justify it, bringing up the verse about being happy with those who are happy, crying with those who cry, completely out of context. (ESV Romans 12: 15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”)
As you can imagine, both my daughter and I were rather stunned that my mother was so upset about other people being happy around her.
She also brought up her other favourite complaint: how the staff dresses. She said she’s been telling the nurses and doctors that they should “dress nicely” so people can tell them apart from the janitor – and, according to her, they agree with her. ??? I don’t think that’s quite it. What got us is when she started on how the doctors and nurses deserve more respect than the janitors, because a janitor doesn’t even need 12th grade, and that’s why they should dress different so people should be able to tell them apart.
She said it in such a way that I had to interject and tell her, she needs to treat janitor’s nicely, too, because they also deserve respect. She started mocking about, oh, yes, they call it “equality” and so on, but basically doubled down on how the housekeeping staff are somehow “less”. I told her, they need to be treated with respect because they are children of God, too. She actually found a way to dismiss that while pretending to agree with it at the same time. Then she mentioned some other things about the staff, making it clear she’s been grilling them about their historical and ethnic backgrounds. She was all smiles when she brought up that one nurse’s background was from Denmark. Then one of the other nurses – an Asian male – same up and her entire body language changed, and she was “oh… him.” !!! I’ve met this guy twice, and he also phoned me to follow up about my mother’s meds, asking me to brig her bubble packs over so they could give her her eye vitamins. Between my mother’s attitude and his own body language while talking about my mother, I strongly suspect she said or did something inappropriate towards him.
After updating my family, my sister brought up something that happened during her visit. A couple of guys came in, delivering water bottles. My mother said to them, “Men? You should be in construction!”
*sigh*
We talked a bit about her medications. She told me, one morning they gave her 12 pills. Another, they gave her 9. Her morning meds are usually 6 meds, including a half pill. Whatever they’re doing, they’re either not explaining it to her, or she’s forgetting if they have.
While we were there, a nurse came in to give her 2:00 water pill. So they are clearly giving her more of those than she used to take with her bubble packs. From the looks of her legs, they may want to increase the dose more!
My siblings and I are frustrated by the lack of information and communication. My mother would be difficult to communicate with, but if that’s an issue, they should be calling me. I’m top of the list of my siblings, not just because I live the closest, but because I’ve been her advocate at medical appointments for about 8 years now. If they can’t reach me, they should be calling my brother, who is her PoA. There just doesn’t seem to be anything to go on. Even when I ask the staff at the nursing station and talk to her nurse of the day, they don’t seem to know anything about what’s going on.
It’s still better than for her to be at home, of course, but we’re all pushing for her to be discharged to a nursing home, and there’s just nothing. No feedback. No communication. Meanwhile, my mother is getting all these meds that look different from what she’s used to, and she has no idea what they are giving her. Not that she understood quite all of what she was taking before, anyhow.
She told us she said to the doctor? someone, that she’s taking all these pills, so why is she still feeling so bad? I had to tell her – again – that none of the medications she is taking is for what she is feeling. They are for other, specific, things. She doesn’t get that. Apparently, taking blood pressure medication should also stop her hip from hurting. 🫤
By then, we were more than ready to leave. I could see my daughter was getting extremely uncomfortable with the things my mother was saying. We needed to get home before the weather turned, anyhow.
We did have time to make a couple of quick stops along the way, including a fill at the gas station. Still, we cut it close. As we got closer to home, we drove right into heavy snow. Thankfully, it didn’t last long and the system moved on. Tomorrow is supposed to warm up a bit, again, with no snow, so hopefully we’ll be able to get some stuff done outside.
Speaking of outside…
After we got home, my daughter finished unloading the truck after we brought the first bags of my mother’s fridge stuff in, while I moved on to giving the outside cats their evening food and warm water.
She was supposed to go to the rescue after the 20th, when a space was opened up, but the weather had other ideas. At this point, I’m hoping to have that happen maybe after New Year’s. I don’t want to push them too much on it. They are so desperate for fosters, and they have quite a few cats – mostly kittens, actually – that just aren’t being adopted. They’re really working on getting the word out, both through local organizations and social media, too, posting adoption pictures every chance they can. Some cats and kittens get adopted quickly. Others… crickets.
I was hoping that tomorrow I could stay home and get things done, but I’m looking at our cat food supply, and the weather, and thinking a trip to Walmart might be necessary (the local feed stores would not be open).
I really don’t want to do more driving. We were supposed to be able to hibernate until after New Year’s!
The Re-Farmer 