cognitive health

Isolated, and updates

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Well, my hope to go to my mother’s apartment today went out the window. Yesterday’s clearing of the driveway left me in too much pain. I’m wanting to clean our her fridge, and I just can’t do the bending and stretching without time to recover first.

I did, however, get something important accomplished this evening. Tomorrow, we have three cats booked for spay or neuter, which means we needed to get cats into the isolation shelter to fast overnight.

A bigger job than expected.

First, there was moving the box sheltering the ramp door. There is a cross piece at the back of the box to ensure the sides don’t bend one way or the other. Normally, I can just pull it forward and it lifts the ramp slightly as I get it out, with only having to wiggle around the latch.

The ramp door was frozen to the ground.

Nothing the ice scraper couldn’t free up in short order.

That thing is so handy!

Then I got the two litter boxes out from the lower left to clean them out. One of them, set under the larger floor area, was frozen solid, but the one under where the hammock and heat lamp is, was actually thawed out. I was impressed there was enough warmth that far down!

After that, I made sure to sweep away any loose bits of kibble, so that there would be no food around after we take out the kibble bowl.

My daughter came out to help and we got three carriers out from the sun room and gave them a good scrubbing, using snow as the “water”.

Actually, she did the scrubbing, while I cleaned out and refreshed the water bowls, and started prepping other things.

I spotted Adam, hanging out in another carrier. One with a side opening door that the cats like to hang out in. It’s got pieces of rigid insulation on the bottom, so it’s much nicer on the toe beans. Once the isolation shelter was ready, all I would have needed to do was close the door, then take her over!

The plan was to have at least 5 cats and kittens in the isolation shelter, so that we could grab 3 in the morning, just in case there were escapees. Frank was already in the shelter, along with Pinky. She was supposed to be done at the same time as Pinky, only she escaped, and still doesn’t trust us. I’ve been able to pet her more often, though, so maybe, just maybe, we can get her into a carrier, tomorrow morning!

After scrubbing the carriers, I took them inside to get them ready with puppy pads inside, bringing them into the house to be warmer for tomorrow, while my daughter went to close up the ramp door.

It wouldn’t close.

The hinges were full of ice. When we had those warmer days not long ago, with the added warmth of the heat bulb, some of the snow on the roof started to melt from the bottom. I had seen it dripping, but didn’t even think that it was getting in between the box sheltering the doorway, and the hinges of the ramp.

My daughter used the ice scraper and got it clear enough to close the ramp door. Then she went through the windows to remove cats from inside that were already fixed. Except Pinky. She likes it there, and she doesn’t bully the other cats and kittens, so we left her.

Midnight REALLY wanted to get back in!

I went to try and get Adam, only to find that Gouda had joined her inside the carrier. Gouda is neutered and socialized, but when I tried to pet him to coax him out, I scared Adam. Gouda stayed in the carrier, Adam ran out, and wouldn’t come back. Domino, the kitten that was just barely big enough that they might have tried to spay her last time, if we insisted on it (we didn’t, as it would have meant two too-small kittens stuck in strange cages for several hours), tried to go in, too.

We tried and tried, but could not get Adam back into the carrier.

We did get Domino, though, so my daughter took her over to the isolation shelter. Adam was getting panicky with our efforts, as careful as we tried to be, so we stopped. She’s already getting more feral, rather than more socialized, and we didn’t want to make things worse.

We do have our extras, though.

Once they were all in and we’d done the kibble feeding, we also added a couple of cans of wet cat food as an isolation shelter treat. They absolutely went nuts over that! At least in the isolation shelter, we know the wet cat food won’t freeze before it can be eaten.

So we now have two adult cats in there – Pinky and Frank. I really, really want to get Frank in.

We also have Sir Robin and Grommet (both males), who are among the oldest of the kittens. Domino, a tuxedo, is female, but my daughter got another tuxedo I’ve learned the girls have named Batman in there. I believe that one is male. He’s bigger than Domino. There are also two tabbies in there. One a fair bit bigger than the other. I think they are both male, but I’m not sure. Neither have names.

Yes, there are eight cats, cattens and kittens in the isolation shelter!

Once we get our three tomorrow morning, we can let the others out if they want.

In other things…

I’ve been chatting a lot with the rescue today. One of the kittens they took in from us, from a trio that all fit into one carrier, suddenly became very sick. The vets at first thought it was panleuk, but that turned out to be a false positive. They have no idea what’s wrong with him, but he’s in the clinic’s emergency room now. They’ll do as much as they can for him, but it’s going to be expensive. They’ve been posting pictures and information about him on social media, asking for donations to help. At the very least, they’re expecting it to be around $2500. At least, that’s what they expected when they thought it was panleuk. None of the cats from our place have ever tested positive for panleuk, FIV, or any of the others they test for. These kittens have been with the foster since August, and until it was determined to be a false positive, they were at a loss as to how he could have contracted it. He’s been vaccinated for it twice. It’s very contagious, but no other cats with the foster have been sick. Now that this has been ruled out, they’re all at a complete loss.

For now, it’s a wait and see.

In other things, my brother has been contacted by someone to talk about my mother and getting her into a care home. It looks like they’ll be able to get her into somewhere temporary, before sending her to the nursing home she’s been asking for, for so long. When? Who knows, but the process is being worked on.

I got a call from someone else. They know my mother has her own wheelchair – the one my later father had while he was in the nursing home – and wanted to know if I could bring it in. They need to be able to measure her for it, to see whether she can use that, or if she needs another one. It’s a folding type, pretty much the same as what they have for my mother in the hospital right now, just older. She confirmed that there’s no cushion. If my mother does end up using this wheelchair in the nursing home, they would arrange for a wheelchair cushion.

So tomorrow is going to be a long day. After we drop off the cats, my daughter and I will do some errands while we wait for the call to pick the cats up again. Depending on how long that is, I might just drop them all off at home, then head out again immediately to go my mother’s apartment, get the wheelchair, go to the hospital to drop it off, then visit my mother. All together, I’ll be spending at least 4 hours on the road, driving from the city the clinic is in and back, plus whatever driving we do with errands in between, then driving to my mother’s town, to the hospital in another town, and finally home.

We’re having to do most of this without telling my mother a whole lot, because of her cognitive issues. She gets too agitated. All we can really say is what we’ve been saying all along. They’re working on it. It just takes time.

We’re still in limbo, but at least we know something is being done in the background!

The good thing is, all this will be done before that polar vortex hits, and we can hibernate through it.

The Re-Farmer

Got it done. Plus an update

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It took about 1 1/2 hours, but it’s done.

The plow went by, increasing the snow ridge at the end of the driveway. It really wasn’t that bad and we could have driven through. The problem is, between the plow ridges and the driving, the end of the driveway was getting narrower and narrower. I needed to get that opened up, before the next polar vortex hits.

I love that ice scraper. It does a bang up job of cutting through hard packed plow ridge snow!

Technically, today was warmer, and there was less wind, but even a slight breeze brought was was -20C/-4F to a “real feel” of -31C/-24F. I was well bundled but, by the end of it, my toes and finger tips were starting to feel it!

While I was out there, my mother called from the hospital. I didn’t see my daughter’s message until I was putting things away, almost an hour later. My mother apparently sounded frustrated.

So when I called back, I made sure to talk to the nurse, first. I found out that she has been refusing her afternoon pain meds. Because she’s been in so much pain with her back, and the Voltaren wasn’t enough anymore, they now have she scheduled to take painkillers 3 times a day, instead of “as needed”. She’s apparently been having better days and saying no to the pills.

When talking to her about it later, she told me, she’s taking so many pills! Which makes it sound like it isn’t that she’s in less pain, but that she just doesn’t want to take another pill.

*sigh*

I asked the nurse about my mother getting Xrays, but she could find nothing on the file about it. She made notes to talk to the doctor about it. I also brought up that we need to have a meeting with the doctor, so she made notes for someone that can check his schedule, and to call my brother to book a time. My schedule is flexible, so I can work around his.

Then I got transferred to my mother’s room.

*sigh*

She was shouting right from her “hello”. It actually hurt my ears. When I asked her why she was shouting, it was “so you can hear me.”

Yeah, Mom. I can hear you. So can everyone outside your door and down the hall!

No, I didn’t say that out loud.

She then starting complaining. No one is calling. No one is visiting. No one cares (she includes the hospital staff on that). Why doesn’t my brother call or visit?

So I told her about his going to her place to replace the window from the AC set up, then about the woman who fell. She actually knows the woman, as she often does the Gospel readings in church. When I told her about the fall and my brother taking her to the hospital, she only wanted to know, which hospital. I told her, and she started saying, she has children, why did my brother drive her. Her (adult) children weren’t there (I think they live in the city!). Even when I told her, my brother probably saved her life, because if he hadn’t seen her, there was a good chance she would have frozen to death before anyone got to her.

She didn’t care.

She also didn’t have any appreciation for my brother going out to her apartment in the severe cold, getting the window done, helping a neighbour, and still driving her to the farm to drop off the AC, in the dark.

Instead, she kept complaining about how no one calls or visits her. I finally told her that, right then, she was making me regret calling her back, and called her out on how nasty she was being.

She – sarcastically – thanked me for being open with her.

*sigh*

After that, the call was better. She did complain that money was probably taken from her bank account for her apartment. I told her that she IS still renting it. All her things are still there. Of course she has to pay for it. That got us to talking about her things and what she wants done with them.

Don’t throw anything away, she keeps saying.

We’ve got an entire building filled with personal belongings we packed from this house – a building we could really use as the workshop it used to be – that she insists we don’t throw away. Now, we’ll have more, and we’ve already run out of storage space.

Then she demanded I tell her what I planned to do with a particular mirror she’s had stuck in her storage closet for the past 10 years. Something she gets obsessed about, every now and then. I finally had to tell her, don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of it.

Then she started going on about how, really, my sister should be taking care of her more, she and her husband are both on pension, she doesn’t need to be working, she should be taking care of Mom.

I’m sure my sister has been nagged about that a few times, already!

I was eventually able to get a word in – right after she told me, she wants to get out of there! – and told her, I think her problem is, she’s bored. She’s there by herself, with nothing to do, and she’s bored. We talked about it a bit, and she agreed. She is bored and lonely! Which, I told her, is completely understandable!

Well, this post got interrupted by a call from my brother.

We have a meeting booked with the doctor. They got us in as quickly as they could, and it’s an evening meeting, so that works for my brother. It was noted that, since we are dealing with cognitive issues with my mother, she won’t be there, and won’t even be told about it. Our concern was that, if she knew in advance, she’d end up telling our vandal about it, and he could cause problems.

It sucks having to even consider these things.

As for me, I am done for the day. I’m glad I got the end of the driveway cleared, but I’m really going to be paying for it, tonight, even with my meds!

I have to admit, though, I did quite enjoy the shoveling!

The Re-Farmer

How it went

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Oh, goodness.

It did go okay, and the end, but wow.

First, though, the cuteness. This is what I saw after I got home.

Almost. They moved before I could get my phone out to take a picture. When I first came in, Grommet’s chest was plastered against the window screen, with Stinky plastered over top of him. Enjoying the warm air coming from the bathroom! We keep the bathroom door closes, so none of the inside cats come in, so it doesn’t affect our thermostat. The window gets opened when someone is in the shower, to let moisture out, since the ceiling fan stopped working. Again.

They want in. 😄

My first order of business today was to go to my mother’s apartment and check on things. As I was doing the morning routine, though, it was still so incredibly slippery. I knew the roads wouldn’t be as bad, but just walking around the yard was insanely dangerous. I ended up grabbing a bucket and a spade and collecting ashes from the fire pit. There wasn’t enough to do all the paths, but I was able to scatter ashes on the main ones, including to the garage door. What a difference that made!

Happily, the roads were well plowed and nowhere near as icy, and the highway was mostly clear. What wasn’t was wet, rather than icy. We exceeded our predicted high and reached 3C/37F, though the town my mother’s apartment is in was a bit warmer, and the town the hospital is in reached 5C/41F, according to one of the announcement signs I passed while on my way home!

I hadn’t had breakfast before I left and by the time I got to my mother’s town, it was lunch time, so I paused to pick up some fried chicken and wedges at our favourite gas station, and took it to my mother’s to eat.

When I got there, I found a message from my daughter. She had been in the shower when my mother phoned, and she could actually hear her shouting to the answering machine. She was asking where I was, sounding very angry and out of breath.

So I immediately called the hospital to talk to someone at the nursing station. I told her I was at my mother’s apartment, but my mother had called our home, yelling at the answering machine and sounding out of breath. Before I had a chance to say I was going to be there later, she said she would check on my mother right away and ended the call. I was good with that!

I started to eat my breakfast when I got another message from my daughter. My mother had called again. My daughter wasn’t near a phone so it went to machine again, and she could hear my mother demanding to know where I was, and that it was an emergency.

!!!

After that call, my daughter told me she was going to keep a handset close by, so she could answer before it went to the answering machine. Thankfully, it turned out to be unnecessary.

I called the hospital back.

When I got the nurse again, it seems she heard my mother making that call, and saying it was an emergency.

There was no emergency.

My mother tried to say, oh, it was just to my daughter. The nurse told me she explained to her that when you say “emergency” it can mean very different things.

What she wanted was for me to visit.

*sigh*

I’ve since listened to both messages. They were both very short, and wow, did she sound furious!

I told her that I was checking on my mother’s apartment in another town at the time, but that I would be visiting her in the afternoon, with a few errands in between, and she promised she would let my mother know this.

After that, I could finally finish eating!

I then packed up a few things, mostly canned goods, and shifted things from her freezer to the fridge before setting it as low as it could go. I’ll come back soon to clean out the jars of frozen stuff (I can’t quite tell what some of them are). After that, the fridge can be shut off entirely and cleaned.

I took care of a few more little things before heading out. My next stop was the hardware store, looking for some Roof Melt, but they didn’t have any. Then I drove to the next town to visit my mother in the hospital.

When I got to her room, I was surprised to see her door wide open. There was quite a bit of bustle going on, with my mother in a wheelchair and some of her things packed up. They were in the process of moving her to another room!

My arrival paused things. They had been about to have my mother set up in the hallway while they cleared her room, but with me there, did I want to take her to the cafeteria, instead?

Which is when another nurse walked in and said, no.

??

My mother wasn’t going to be moved. They would move someone else.

The shuffling has to do with the size of the rooms. People like my mother, who are there for longer periods, get the “corner” rooms, as they are larger, and single beds. They were going to move my mother so that someone from a smaller room could be moved into hers, but decided to instead move the other patient to the room they were going to move my mother to. So my mother could stay where she was!

This hospital only has 8 extended care beds, and 4 “special care” beds. I think my mother is in an extended care bed.

So, that commotion done, I helped my mother transfer from the wheelchair to her favourite chair in the corner. She was clearly in a lot of pain.

Once everything was settled, I jokingly said, “so, I hear you’ve been difficult!”

I then told her that, when she had tried to call me, I was at her apartment, checking on things. I could see she was torn between happy that I was doing that, and angry that I wasn’t there when I called!

She chose angry.

For the next while, she ranted about how they are not taking care of her, they don’t care. She hasn’t seen a doctor. They don’t care. They see all these other patients, but not her. They don’t care. They say she’s been seen by doctors, but she has eyes and she hasn’t seen any doctors, the entire time she’s been there. They don’t care. They walk around in the hallways talking, instead of taking care of her. They don’t care.

She wants to leave.

She even said, she could go back to her apartment.

*sigh*

I totally understand that she wants to leave! She’s been there for about a month now. It took a while of explaining (you’re on their side! you always make excuses for them!) things like she can’t leave without a doctor discharging her. She can’t go back to her apartment, because she would have the same problem of not having help available when she needs it. No one knows where she is going next and yes, we are frustrated about that, too!

Thankfully, between that and a nurse coming in a couple of times to refresh her water, etc., my mother finally calmed down and we could talk normally.

One of the things she brings up is her pain. Apparently, she ran out of Voltaren, so she went into the hall with the empty tube, asking for more, but they aren’t using it on her (she’s now scheduled to have it applied twice a day). Someone finally took the empty tube and said they would get a new one, but they were running around tending to other patients, but not her.

…

I had to explain again, that she is actually doing really good. Her treatment right now is all the pills she’s taking (thirteen! Yes; they’ve added in her painkillers…), checking her vitals, etc. She asked, why are they weighing her all the time, so I explained that it’s to keep track of any changes. A sudden change in weight is a warning sign.

She was somewhat mollified.

As for her pain, I told her I would talk to the nursing station and see if they can get some Xrays done and see what’s going on. It’s probably arthritis, and there isn’t much they can do about that, but at least they would have a better idea of what’s going on. She was very happy at that suggestion.

Then I found out my sister had come by yesterday, which is her mid week day off. My sister never complains, I was told. And she’s never in a hurry, I was told.

*sigh*

My mother is so determined to drive wedges between us.

Then she told me our vandal visited yesterday.

Twice.

!!!!

It seems he was being treated yesterday, and he visited her before and after treatment. During one of them, he brought someone along. My mother wasn’t sure what they were, but it sounds like they were a therapist or counselor or something like that. He was, of course, on his best behaviour, and even asked her to sing some songs for him.

…

Red flags, all over the place.

Also, the doctors have apparently told him there is nothing more they can do for him. Which means his condition is terminal.

More red flags.

Based on past history with my late father, we’re going to have to be on the lookout that he doesn’t show up with a lawyer or something, and try to get Power of Attorney away from my brother. My mother would be very easily manipulated at this point.

Someone from the hospital, meanwhile, had called my brother last night and requested a copy of his PoA documents. I have copies of them, so I was able to bring them today. That, at least, has been taken care of.

Meanwhile, my mother talked about how our visits were “like medicine” and she felt so much better.

I’m not sure what she expects. She had visitors yesterday, but today she was calling us in a fury, demanding my presence? The only reason she told me about her visits yesterday was because I mentioned I had originally intended to visit yesterday, but the conditions were too slippery. I told her, now that she’s in town, I will be able to visit more often, but I don’t know when that would be exactly, from week to week. She told me, she would at least be happy with a phone call.

Then she started complaining that my calls weren’t getting through to her, and the nurse had to pass on messages. I explained to her that when I call, it’s to the nursing station, and they transfer me only when I ask them to. Since I was at her apartment, I had instead asked them to pass on the message, that I would be visiting.

I had to repeat it a few times, but I think she got it.

I’m happy to say that, when I left, it was on a good note. Very different from when I first arrived!

As promised, I stopped at the nursing station to pick up the documents, then talk about the possibility of getting X-rays for my mother. I mentioned that my mother still insists a doctor has never seen her. The nurse I was speaking to told me that she was with the main doctor when he saw her – this would be the one black doctor in the entire hospital that my mother doesn’t remember seeing. She did admit that it’s been a while since he’d seen her.

When I mentioned her pain, I was asked if my mother had been in any accidents, and I told them about her car accident, years ago, that is why one of her knees is currently bent sideways. As for her back and hip pain, it’s probably osteoarthritis. We talked about her current pain medication, which clearly isn’t cutting it anymore, and even the Voltaren doesn’t seem to be working as well anymore, either. The nurse promised to talk to the doctor about arranging X-rays, so they can have more information and determine any changes in her painkillers, at least. That’s about as much as they can do right now!

That done, I did the rest of my own errands before heading home. With how warm things got today, I knew the roads were going to get quite icy again.

If all goes well, I expect to be back at my mother’s apartment this weekend. Possibly with my brother, if he can squeeze out the time.

We’re going to need to get moving boxes or bins and packing material soon. We still don’t know where my mother is going but, with my brother’s availability, it would be good to get things mostly packed up before the end of the month.

We really need to get some idea of what’s happening next with my mother! All we know is “she’s not going home” – but until that’s official, there still is the possibility that they’ll discharge her to go back to her apartment.

Being in limbo sucks.

The Re-Farmer

Kitten updates, and birthday with Mom

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Today was my mother’s 94th birthday, so I had plans to head over to her place, not long after doing the morning rounds.

With the appearance of kittens in the sun room cat cage, I was expecting to see a fourth kitten by this morning, since I knew that the mama had four active nips.

Nope. Still just three.

With a slightly older kitten on guard, above!

My guess is, the fourth kitten was a loss, and that might have had something to do with why the mama, Frank, suddenly moved her babies into the sun room. Normally, the ferals don’t bring their kittens to the house until they are closer to weaning age. Frank is getting to be more semi-feral than feral, as she does allow some pets every now and then. The good thing is, we now have a chance to socialize her babies, which increased their chances of survival, and our chances of getting them fixed when they’re old enough and big enough.

I headed to my mother’s town a bit early, as I had plans to pick some things up for her. I was hoping to get her a small cake, as I knew she’s complain about things being “too much” (which she did), but there was none to be had, so I got her a cheesecake with two slices each of four flavours. I figured, it was something she could share. Then I picked up her favourite fried chicken and wedges for lunch. When I got there, she was in her living room, so I made a joke about how she wasn’t allowed to come to the table until I was done. Of course, she still had to come to the table – her glasses were on it! I had picked up a candles in the shape of a 9 and a 4 and got everything all set up and the candles lit. She got a good laugh out of it when I started singing happy birthday to her and brought it over. On her 90th birthday, when she was more mobile still, we’d celebrated her birthday at my brothers, and I’d bought her a little tiara to wear. I got it out and had her put it on before I took pictures for the family. She got a laugh over that, too, before blowing out her candles.

We then had lunch together. As she was close to finishing her meal, she did stop to say, she wanted to tell me something, but didn’t want to hurt my feelings. 😂 Yeah. She complained about the food! Or, more accurately, that I was buying her too much food. I told her, she doesn’t have to eat it all at once! Oh, but it’s temptation, she said. 😄 She said she doesn’t want to get fat(ter). I just shake my head. She’s been fat for as long as I can remember, and she just turned 94. In her family, all the women that got fat after having kids lived to grand old ages. All her skinny relatives (the ones that didn’t have kids) died young.

I don’t think she needs to worry about it!

With the cheesecake, I told her she could share it with her neighbours. She stopped to consider the date and told me the next event in the common room would be on Tuesday (three days from today). They usually have a pot of coffee going, and sometimes snacks. She told me, she’d think about whether or not she wanted to share her cake with them! 😄

Since I was there anyhow, I did some light housekeeping and refilled her water bottles. Then I went to the pharmacy to get the things I couldn’t get last time, because they were closed for the holiday. This gave me a chance to finally talk to the pharmacist – I kept forgetting to phone them! – about just how close my mother was to running out of her prescriptions before her new bubble packs were ready. He was able to change the date so that her refills will be done a week earlier. Which means that I’ll be heading over to pick up her bubble packs two weekends from now, and getting them into her lock box. This gives some flexibility, in case I’m not able to get them on the day for some reason. We don’t want them to be delivered anymore, since the delivery person wouldn’t have the code to open the lock box, and we can’t trust my mother to not do something to her meds if they’re not locked away.

While my mother was in a good mood overall, that didn’t stop her from talking smack about my brother and sister. They don’t call her enough. They don’t visit enough. She knows my brother is out of province right now – running a “marathon” with his grandson! Then she started going on about both of them. I was done everything that needed doing by then, and still had to go to town, so it was definitely time to leave.

One of the things on my list to do in town was to go to a different grocery store with our water bottles. This place has a sanitation station, and our bottles were due. I had two to refill, got them both sanitized and started filling them. I had finished filling the second one and was starting to put a new cap on it before putting it in the cart when…

It split open at the base!

There was water spraying all over before I was able to shift it into the sanitation sink to drain. There was a woman using the second fill station and we got the attention of the staff. One guy came over but all he could do was take over holding the jug in place over the sink as it emptied. All 5 gallons!

So… I had to buy a new jug. I don’t like the new jugs that they have now. With the older ones, the handle is part of the jug itself. The new ones have the handle as a separate piece attached. We’ve already got one like it, and it always feels like the handle is about to break off when the jug is full. Ah, well.

That done, I picked up a few things we’d run out of. My husband had requested water flavours, but I couldn’t find any at all, so I ended up going to the other grocery store for those, plus the rest of my list. They happened to have a good sale on stewing beef (good being relative, these days!), so I got a family size pack. I look forward to having a beef stew! We eat beef so rarely these days.

From there, it was a stop at the gas station – the prices had dropped from $1.449 to $1.409 – then home. I pulled up to the house to unload. My daughters were sweethearts and got everything into the house, then distracted the yard cats so I could get the truck out of the yard!

It was feeding time for them, anyhow, so while they put everything away, I took care of the feeding.

It’s getting time to move the catio closer to the house. Even the smokey garage kitten is finally started to sneak closer to the house. Sort of. She’s been skirting the edges of the flower bed at the far end of the yard, along with her brother (I’m still just guessing that she’s a she). They are MUCH more comfortable eating in the catio, though.

What an incredibly unique looking cat!

The kittens in the cat cage were alone at the time, though Frank was no far away. I noticed their eyes were getting stuck shut, so I made sure to give them a wash. This was a first time experience for these kittens, and they did not like it, but they actually handled the whole thing rather well.

Since coming home, the weather geek group I follow on FB sent out some info. Parts of the province are under a frost warning. Our area is not included. Uh, huh. We already had our first frost night, and there were no frost warnings in advance for that one! It’s still rather warn as I’m writing this, but we’re still getting a low of 2C/36F being forecast for tonight. I’m expecting it to get colder than that. I’ll wait a bit longer before covering up the beds again.

Oh, that was something my mother had a hard time with. I showed her garden pictures, including the winter squash bed with its plastic cover. She had the hardest time understanding why one would do that. I had told her about how everything was behind this year and she was all, you know what that means, right? You planted too late.

…

I talked to her about our spring, and how in May we had such hot days, but very cold nights, so the soil didn’t warm up enough. We had drought this year. We had heat waves this year. Then there was the smoke, smoke and more smoke. She just shook her head and told me how she didn’t remember every having problems in the garden.

…

Now, I do remember her making a passing comment a couple of years back, when we had issues in the garden, saying that some years things are good, some years they’re not. This was several years ago. She did remember having bad years in the garden here. This stuck in my memory because she always made a big deal about how she had such a big healthy garden here, and was upset with me for not instantly recreating exactly how her garden used to be, some 20 or 30 years ago. Now, with things not turning out well, in her mind, it’s because I caused it somehow. She’s still wrapping her mind around the idea that I can garden in different ways than she did. Not that I have any choice. It’s physically impossible to do otherwise, at this point. She’s having difficulty accepting that things are not the same as she remembers! She would much rather think that the garden is struggling because I don’t know how to tend thins properly, like she did. 🫤

Ah, well. We do the best we can!

She did manage to throw dig at me, this time about how I didn’t bring her out to the farm for a visit this summer, and now it’s getting cold.

*sigh*

I told her, it’s been a very rough year. We don’t even have a front door right now. Which is absolutely true but, in past visits, we learned very quickly that my mother has zero interest in visiting us. What she wants is to look at everything, from how the yard and garden looks, to rifling through the cabinets in the bathroom while pretending she’s using the toilet (apparently, it didn’t occur to her that we could hear it). She would then follow up with declarations about how useless I was as a human being, and how terrible my family is, for not living the way she wanted us to, and because things aren’t exactly the way she remembers leaving it, when she moved out some 10 years ago. Not how it actually was. How she remembers it was. End result is, none of us want her to come out here again. Her motivations for wanting to come out here – even though, after we moved in, she declared she never wanted to see the farm again – are far from kind, to put it mildly.

My mother has no understanding of just how much her own actions drive people away – and then wonders why no one wants to call her or talk to her! I’ve told her, but she just goes on about why she’s entitled to behave the way she does, and doesn’t see how much she hurts the people who are trying to help her the most. She really and truly doesn’t care, either. *sigh*

Ah, well. We just do the best we can. What else can we do?

At least I can say that she was happy I visited her for her birthday, even if I did it all wrong. 😄😂

The Re-Farmer

Our 2025 Garden: morning in the garden, and a tiring visit!

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Just a few photos I took while doing my rounds and checking on the garden this morning.

In the first photo of the above slide show, you can see more of the Sub Arctic Plenty tomatoes are ripening. There are more than what’s visible in the frame of the photo.

The second photo is of some wonderful new leaves coming up on the Opal plum, recovering from what the deer ate.

Last of all is a developing pumpkin. Sir Robin was happy to pose for size reference. 😄

We apparently had rain not long before I went out this morning, so no garden watering needed. In the evening, though, I did water the things that need it the most; the winter and summer squash! I did the melons, to, even though I really don’t see any chance of them growing. Some are blooming, though, so you never know!

Late this morning, I headed out to meet my brother, SIL and their grandkids for a surprise lunch with my mother. That turned out not at all as planned, but it worked out in the end. I brought along several take out containers of the turkey and vegetable soup I made in the slow cooker yesterday (I had it for my breakfast, too) for her freezer. During lunch, I ordered a 3 pc chicken and fries, then packed up most of the fries and the biggest piece of chicken for my mom to have for supper. Between two very active young boys and having to distract my mother when she started to go into one of her odd tirades, we were all very exhausted by the time lunch was done! The boys did really well, considering how many hours they’d spent in a car. My mother wanted them to go to her place, which was not an option. It’s soo small and too full of things rambunctious children could get into and hurt themselves or destroy. They ended up going for a walk with my SIL when we were done, while my brother focused on getting my mother home and I went ahead with their stuff along with what I brought for her. I had time to get the meals I brought into the freezer, and left the restaurant food on the counter to cool, then get to the side door and open it before they had to fight with keys. My mother can get in and out of my brother’s car without a stool, so he could park closer to the side door she prefers to use.

We both had to head out as soon as she was settled in. By the time we got out, my SIL was almost there with the boys. We’d talked about them coming her to the farm afterwards, but that went out the window. They’ll be coming out next weekend and staying overnight in their new abode, so we’ll get to visit with them and the boys soon.

As we were settling her in, my mother made a point of telling us not to make “surprises” like this for her anymore. Which we really can’t do. If we plan this stuff and tell her in advance, she works herself up and behaves even worse – downright cruel, in fact – than if she doesn’t know about it, first.

At least my brother was able to get a visit in, and she got to see her great grandsons. Of course, all she cared was to lecture them about making sure to take them to church. This was the time! When they’re young! Of course, they had just gone to church with her earlier (which was not planned). My SIL had to repeatedly tell her, they don’t live with us. It’s not up to us. They don’t live with us.

I was sitting next to my mother and repeated to her with slightly different working, that they don’t live here.

Well, where do they live, then? she asked.

…

Uhm… with their parents?

That one really threw us. It seems that my mother somehow decided that the boys being with my brother and his wife today meant that they… have moved in with them? Or she forgot that they live with their parents in a different province?

Something to bring up with the home care case coordinator, that’s for sure.

It was really good to see the boys, though. I haven’t seen the younger grandson since he was a babe in arms, still.

We also got some surprises at home today. Kitten surprises! That will get its own post, though.

See you there!

The Re-Farmer