We are still getting hit with the polar vortex. We’re not getting the storms hitting parts of the US, but as I write this, we’ve warmed up to -27C/-17F with a wind chill of -29C/-20F. We’re staying indoors as much as possible, and avoiding going out anywhere.
Which is frustrating, but I’ll get to the why of that, later.
First, the inspiration! This video showed up in my YouTube feed. I’ve never seen this channel before. Looks very informative.
We are fortunate to have the luxury of space in our garden – space that will be utilized for accessibility and mobility – but this video covers a lot of what we are planning on, including chickens and our food forest (in this video, it’s an orchard). Fencing the entire garden is not really an option for us, given just how big it is, and how many trees there are. Cattle panels are not an option, either. I keep hearing about how cheap they are, but maybe that’s a US thing, because every place I’ve looked, they are ridiculously expensive. I’ve had stucco wire recommended by my cousin. Those are a lot more affordable, but obviously, not as heavy duty.
I’ve been wanting to have chickens for quite a few years now, and intended to build a portable coop large enough for at least a dozen chickens. That just hasn’t been happening, for a variety of reasons. So we’re breaking down and are going to try to buy a small chicken coop, with an enclosed run, on a payment plan. It’ll only fit up to 6 chickens, which would be enough to keep us in eggs a bit. That can tide us over until we can build something larger and house meat birds, too.
All in good time.
Now for the updates.
My brother got a call yesterday.
My mother’s panel for a personal care home has been approved!
That was waaaaayyy faster than I expected! They must really need her room. 😁
It does mean that she is no longer covered by our health care system, and is being charged by the day as a long term care client, rather than a patient. Meanwhile, they will find a bed for her in a temporary long term care facility and transfer her, once that happens. I expect that to go relatively quickly, too, if only because they need to free up the room she’s in.
My brother has already cancelled my mother’s cable, and today he’s gone over to pack up the cable box to send back to the company, before going to the hospital. He found a fairly recent photo of our vandal to include on her file, so that staff know who to look out for, and wanted to get that over as quickly as possible.
Now we need to focus on clearing out my mother’s apartment – but don’t throw anything away!!
She is so attached to her material goods, even to the point that she wants to control what happens to some of them to the next generation. She doesn’t actually have anything of value, really, other than in her own mind, or sentimental value – and by sentimental value, I mean for me and my siblings, mostly, because she doesn’t seem to actually have sentimental attachment to anything. She quite happily destroyed things that belonged to both my late father and my late aunt.
I need to get to my mother’s apartment and start packing and cleaning, bit by bit.
Hence the frustration.
I intended to start this some time ago, but with the cold, and now the check engine light turning on again with the truck, I have been leery of going anywhere. We only have one vehicle, and if that breaks down, we are in serious trouble.
*sigh*
I just checked the temperatures again, and it’s actually gotten colder instead of warmer. It’s still a few hours before we’re supposed to reach the high of our day.
Tomorrow is looking to be less severe, though, so I might try to head over then. After tomorrow, the extreme polar vortex temperatures should be over, and we’ll just be dealing with normal cold again, and I should be able to head over regularly.
I don’t expect we’ll have it empty by the end of the month, but we might. It’s the bigger furniture that’s going to be an issue. The loveseat she has, which matched the sofa that’s still here on the farm, is broken, though not badly. It will likely be thrown out. The mattress and box spring will have to be thrown out, of course. The rest…
*sigh*
She crammed so much into that little apartment.
My brother and SIL assured me, we’ll figure it out.
At least I won’t have to worry about all my mother’s papers, pictures and basically anything fabric. That’s my sister’s problem. We will be dealing with her kitchen supplies, nic nacs and furniture. My brother and SIL can’t really take anything, other than the papers my brother needs to take care of my mother’s affairs as PoA. I doubt they’ve even finished unpacking themselves. Where they are now is meant to be temporary, as they’ve gotten on a list for a privately run supportive living apartment in a complex that was still under construction when they sold their acreage. The waiting list was already years long but, once there’s an opening, they need to be able to move quickly.
Well, my hope to go to my mother’s apartment today went out the window. Yesterday’s clearing of the driveway left me in too much pain. I’m wanting to clean our her fridge, and I just can’t do the bending and stretching without time to recover first.
I did, however, get something important accomplished this evening. Tomorrow, we have three cats booked for spay or neuter, which means we needed to get cats into the isolation shelter to fast overnight.
A bigger job than expected.
First, there was moving the box sheltering the ramp door. There is a cross piece at the back of the box to ensure the sides don’t bend one way or the other. Normally, I can just pull it forward and it lifts the ramp slightly as I get it out, with only having to wiggle around the latch.
The ramp door was frozen to the ground.
Nothing the ice scraper couldn’t free up in short order.
That thing is so handy!
Then I got the two litter boxes out from the lower left to clean them out. One of them, set under the larger floor area, was frozen solid, but the one under where the hammock and heat lamp is, was actually thawed out. I was impressed there was enough warmth that far down!
After that, I made sure to sweep away any loose bits of kibble, so that there would be no food around after we take out the kibble bowl.
My daughter came out to help and we got three carriers out from the sun room and gave them a good scrubbing, using snow as the “water”.
Actually, she did the scrubbing, while I cleaned out and refreshed the water bowls, and started prepping other things.
I spotted Adam, hanging out in another carrier. One with a side opening door that the cats like to hang out in. It’s got pieces of rigid insulation on the bottom, so it’s much nicer on the toe beans. Once the isolation shelter was ready, all I would have needed to do was close the door, then take her over!
The plan was to have at least 5 cats and kittens in the isolation shelter, so that we could grab 3 in the morning, just in case there were escapees. Frank was already in the shelter, along with Pinky. She was supposed to be done at the same time as Pinky, only she escaped, and still doesn’t trust us. I’ve been able to pet her more often, though, so maybe, just maybe, we can get her into a carrier, tomorrow morning!
After scrubbing the carriers, I took them inside to get them ready with puppy pads inside, bringing them into the house to be warmer for tomorrow, while my daughter went to close up the ramp door.
It wouldn’t close.
The hinges were full of ice. When we had those warmer days not long ago, with the added warmth of the heat bulb, some of the snow on the roof started to melt from the bottom. I had seen it dripping, but didn’t even think that it was getting in between the box sheltering the doorway, and the hinges of the ramp.
My daughter used the ice scraper and got it clear enough to close the ramp door. Then she went through the windows to remove cats from inside that were already fixed. Except Pinky. She likes it there, and she doesn’t bully the other cats and kittens, so we left her.
Midnight REALLY wanted to get back in!
I went to try and get Adam, only to find that Gouda had joined her inside the carrier. Gouda is neutered and socialized, but when I tried to pet him to coax him out, I scared Adam. Gouda stayed in the carrier, Adam ran out, and wouldn’t come back. Domino, the kitten that was just barely big enough that they might have tried to spay her last time, if we insisted on it (we didn’t, as it would have meant two too-small kittens stuck in strange cages for several hours), tried to go in, too.
We tried and tried, but could not get Adam back into the carrier.
We did get Domino, though, so my daughter took her over to the isolation shelter. Adam was getting panicky with our efforts, as careful as we tried to be, so we stopped. She’s already getting more feral, rather than more socialized, and we didn’t want to make things worse.
Once they were all in and we’d done the kibble feeding, we also added a couple of cans of wet cat food as an isolation shelter treat. They absolutely went nuts over that! At least in the isolation shelter, we know the wet cat food won’t freeze before it can be eaten.
So we now have two adult cats in there – Pinky and Frank. I really, really want to get Frank in.
We also have Sir Robin and Grommet (both males), who are among the oldest of the kittens. Domino, a tuxedo, is female, but my daughter got another tuxedo I’ve learned the girls have named Batman in there. I believe that one is male. He’s bigger than Domino. There are also two tabbies in there. One a fair bit bigger than the other. I think they are both male, but I’m not sure. Neither have names.
Yes, there are eight cats, cattens and kittens in the isolation shelter!
Once we get our three tomorrow morning, we can let the others out if they want.
In other things…
I’ve been chatting a lot with the rescue today. One of the kittens they took in from us, from a trio that all fit into one carrier, suddenly became very sick. The vets at first thought it was panleuk, but that turned out to be a false positive. They have no idea what’s wrong with him, but he’s in the clinic’s emergency room now. They’ll do as much as they can for him, but it’s going to be expensive. They’ve been posting pictures and information about him on social media, asking for donations to help. At the very least, they’re expecting it to be around $2500. At least, that’s what they expected when they thought it was panleuk. None of the cats from our place have ever tested positive for panleuk, FIV, or any of the others they test for. These kittens have been with the foster since August, and until it was determined to be a false positive, they were at a loss as to how he could have contracted it. He’s been vaccinated for it twice. It’s very contagious, but no other cats with the foster have been sick. Now that this has been ruled out, they’re all at a complete loss.
For now, it’s a wait and see.
In other things, my brother has been contacted by someone to talk about my mother and getting her into a care home. It looks like they’ll be able to get her into somewhere temporary, before sending her to the nursing home she’s been asking for, for so long. When? Who knows, but the process is being worked on.
I got a call from someone else. They know my mother has her own wheelchair – the one my later father had while he was in the nursing home – and wanted to know if I could bring it in. They need to be able to measure her for it, to see whether she can use that, or if she needs another one. It’s a folding type, pretty much the same as what they have for my mother in the hospital right now, just older. She confirmed that there’s no cushion. If my mother does end up using this wheelchair in the nursing home, they would arrange for a wheelchair cushion.
So tomorrow is going to be a long day. After we drop off the cats, my daughter and I will do some errands while we wait for the call to pick the cats up again. Depending on how long that is, I might just drop them all off at home, then head out again immediately to go my mother’s apartment, get the wheelchair, go to the hospital to drop it off, then visit my mother. All together, I’ll be spending at least 4 hours on the road, driving from the city the clinic is in and back, plus whatever driving we do with errands in between, then driving to my mother’s town, to the hospital in another town, and finally home.
We’re having to do most of this without telling my mother a whole lot, because of her cognitive issues. She gets too agitated. All we can really say is what we’ve been saying all along. They’re working on it. It just takes time.
We’re still in limbo, but at least we know something is being done in the background!
The good thing is, all this will be done before that polar vortex hits, and we can hibernate through it.
The plow went by, increasing the snow ridge at the end of the driveway. It really wasn’t that bad and we could have driven through. The problem is, between the plow ridges and the driving, the end of the driveway was getting narrower and narrower. I needed to get that opened up, before the next polar vortex hits.
I love that ice scraper. It does a bang up job of cutting through hard packed plow ridge snow!
Technically, today was warmer, and there was less wind, but even a slight breeze brought was was -20C/-4F to a “real feel” of -31C/-24F. I was well bundled but, by the end of it, my toes and finger tips were starting to feel it!
While I was out there, my mother called from the hospital. I didn’t see my daughter’s message until I was putting things away, almost an hour later. My mother apparently sounded frustrated.
So when I called back, I made sure to talk to the nurse, first. I found out that she has been refusing her afternoon pain meds. Because she’s been in so much pain with her back, and the Voltaren wasn’t enough anymore, they now have she scheduled to take painkillers 3 times a day, instead of “as needed”. She’s apparently been having better days and saying no to the pills.
When talking to her about it later, she told me, she’s taking so many pills! Which makes it sound like it isn’t that she’s in less pain, but that she just doesn’t want to take another pill.
*sigh*
I asked the nurse about my mother getting Xrays, but she could find nothing on the file about it. She made notes to talk to the doctor about it. I also brought up that we need to have a meeting with the doctor, so she made notes for someone that can check his schedule, and to call my brother to book a time. My schedule is flexible, so I can work around his.
Then I got transferred to my mother’s room.
*sigh*
She was shouting right from her “hello”. It actually hurt my ears. When I asked her why she was shouting, it was “so you can hear me.”
Yeah, Mom. I can hear you. So can everyone outside your door and down the hall!
No, I didn’t say that out loud.
She then starting complaining. No one is calling. No one is visiting. No one cares (she includes the hospital staff on that). Why doesn’t my brother call or visit?
So I told her about his going to her place to replace the window from the AC set up, then about the woman who fell. She actually knows the woman, as she often does the Gospel readings in church. When I told her about the fall and my brother taking her to the hospital, she only wanted to know, which hospital. I told her, and she started saying, she has children, why did my brother drive her. Her (adult) children weren’t there (I think they live in the city!). Even when I told her, my brother probably saved her life, because if he hadn’t seen her, there was a good chance she would have frozen to death before anyone got to her.
She didn’t care.
She also didn’t have any appreciation for my brother going out to her apartment in the severe cold, getting the window done, helping a neighbour, and still driving her to the farm to drop off the AC, in the dark.
Instead, she kept complaining about how no one calls or visits her. I finally told her that, right then, she was making me regret calling her back, and called her out on how nasty she was being.
She – sarcastically – thanked me for being open with her.
*sigh*
After that, the call was better. She did complain that money was probably taken from her bank account for her apartment. I told her that she IS still renting it. All her things are still there. Of course she has to pay for it. That got us to talking about her things and what she wants done with them.
Don’t throw anything away, she keeps saying.
We’ve got an entire building filled with personal belongings we packed from this house – a building we could really use as the workshop it used to be – that she insists we don’t throw away. Now, we’ll have more, and we’ve already run out of storage space.
Then she demanded I tell her what I planned to do with a particular mirror she’s had stuck in her storage closet for the past 10 years. Something she gets obsessed about, every now and then. I finally had to tell her, don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of it.
Then she started going on about how, really, my sister should be taking care of her more, she and her husband are both on pension, she doesn’t need to be working, she should be taking care of Mom.
I’m sure my sister has been nagged about that a few times, already!
I was eventually able to get a word in – right after she told me, she wants to get out of there! – and told her, I think her problem is, she’s bored. She’s there by herself, with nothing to do, and she’s bored. We talked about it a bit, and she agreed. She is bored and lonely! Which, I told her, is completely understandable!
Well, this post got interrupted by a call from my brother.
We have a meeting booked with the doctor. They got us in as quickly as they could, and it’s an evening meeting, so that works for my brother. It was noted that, since we are dealing with cognitive issues with my mother, she won’t be there, and won’t even be told about it. Our concern was that, if she knew in advance, she’d end up telling our vandal about it, and he could cause problems.
It sucks having to even consider these things.
As for me, I am done for the day. I’m glad I got the end of the driveway cleared, but I’m really going to be paying for it, tonight, even with my meds!
I have to admit, though, I did quite enjoy the shoveling!
Almost. They moved before I could get my phone out to take a picture. When I first came in, Grommet’s chest was plastered against the window screen, with Stinky plastered over top of him. Enjoying the warm air coming from the bathroom! We keep the bathroom door closes, so none of the inside cats come in, so it doesn’t affect our thermostat. The window gets opened when someone is in the shower, to let moisture out, since the ceiling fan stopped working. Again.
They want in. 😄
My first order of business today was to go to my mother’s apartment and check on things. As I was doing the morning routine, though, it was still so incredibly slippery. I knew the roads wouldn’t be as bad, but just walking around the yard was insanely dangerous. I ended up grabbing a bucket and a spade and collecting ashes from the fire pit. There wasn’t enough to do all the paths, but I was able to scatter ashes on the main ones, including to the garage door. What a difference that made!
Happily, the roads were well plowed and nowhere near as icy, and the highway was mostly clear. What wasn’t was wet, rather than icy. We exceeded our predicted high and reached 3C/37F, though the town my mother’s apartment is in was a bit warmer, and the town the hospital is in reached 5C/41F, according to one of the announcement signs I passed while on my way home!
I hadn’t had breakfast before I left and by the time I got to my mother’s town, it was lunch time, so I paused to pick up some fried chicken and wedges at our favourite gas station, and took it to my mother’s to eat.
When I got there, I found a message from my daughter. She had been in the shower when my mother phoned, and she could actually hear her shouting to the answering machine. She was asking where I was, sounding very angry and out of breath.
So I immediately called the hospital to talk to someone at the nursing station. I told her I was at my mother’s apartment, but my mother had called our home, yelling at the answering machine and sounding out of breath. Before I had a chance to say I was going to be there later, she said she would check on my mother right away and ended the call. I was good with that!
I started to eat my breakfast when I got another message from my daughter. My mother had called again. My daughter wasn’t near a phone so it went to machine again, and she could hear my mother demanding to know where I was, and that it was an emergency.
!!!
After that call, my daughter told me she was going to keep a handset close by, so she could answer before it went to the answering machine. Thankfully, it turned out to be unnecessary.
I called the hospital back.
When I got the nurse again, it seems she heard my mother making that call, and saying it was an emergency.
There was no emergency.
My mother tried to say, oh, it was just to my daughter. The nurse told me she explained to her that when you say “emergency” it can mean very different things.
What she wanted was for me to visit.
*sigh*
I’ve since listened to both messages. They were both very short, and wow, did she sound furious!
I told her that I was checking on my mother’s apartment in another town at the time, but that I would be visiting her in the afternoon, with a few errands in between, and she promised she would let my mother know this.
After that, I could finally finish eating!
I then packed up a few things, mostly canned goods, and shifted things from her freezer to the fridge before setting it as low as it could go. I’ll come back soon to clean out the jars of frozen stuff (I can’t quite tell what some of them are). After that, the fridge can be shut off entirely and cleaned.
I took care of a few more little things before heading out. My next stop was the hardware store, looking for some Roof Melt, but they didn’t have any. Then I drove to the next town to visit my mother in the hospital.
When I got to her room, I was surprised to see her door wide open. There was quite a bit of bustle going on, with my mother in a wheelchair and some of her things packed up. They were in the process of moving her to another room!
My arrival paused things. They had been about to have my mother set up in the hallway while they cleared her room, but with me there, did I want to take her to the cafeteria, instead?
Which is when another nurse walked in and said, no.
??
My mother wasn’t going to be moved. They would move someone else.
The shuffling has to do with the size of the rooms. People like my mother, who are there for longer periods, get the “corner” rooms, as they are larger, and single beds. They were going to move my mother so that someone from a smaller room could be moved into hers, but decided to instead move the other patient to the room they were going to move my mother to. So my mother could stay where she was!
This hospital only has 8 extended care beds, and 4 “special care” beds. I think my mother is in an extended care bed.
So, that commotion done, I helped my mother transfer from the wheelchair to her favourite chair in the corner. She was clearly in a lot of pain.
Once everything was settled, I jokingly said, “so, I hear you’ve been difficult!”
I then told her that, when she had tried to call me, I was at her apartment, checking on things. I could see she was torn between happy that I was doing that, and angry that I wasn’t there when I called!
She chose angry.
For the next while, she ranted about how they are not taking care of her, they don’t care. She hasn’t seen a doctor. They don’t care. They see all these other patients, but not her. They don’t care. They say she’s been seen by doctors, but she has eyes and she hasn’t seen any doctors, the entire time she’s been there. They don’t care. They walk around in the hallways talking, instead of taking care of her. They don’t care.
She wants to leave.
She even said, she could go back to her apartment.
*sigh*
I totally understand that she wants to leave! She’s been there for about a month now. It took a while of explaining (you’re on their side! you always make excuses for them!) things like she can’t leave without a doctor discharging her. She can’t go back to her apartment, because she would have the same problem of not having help available when she needs it. No one knows where she is going next and yes, we are frustrated about that, too!
Thankfully, between that and a nurse coming in a couple of times to refresh her water, etc., my mother finally calmed down and we could talk normally.
One of the things she brings up is her pain. Apparently, she ran out of Voltaren, so she went into the hall with the empty tube, asking for more, but they aren’t using it on her (she’s now scheduled to have it applied twice a day). Someone finally took the empty tube and said they would get a new one, but they were running around tending to other patients, but not her.
…
I had to explain again, that she is actually doing really good. Her treatment right now is all the pills she’s taking (thirteen! Yes; they’ve added in her painkillers…), checking her vitals, etc. She asked, why are they weighing her all the time, so I explained that it’s to keep track of any changes. A sudden change in weight is a warning sign.
She was somewhat mollified.
As for her pain, I told her I would talk to the nursing station and see if they can get some Xrays done and see what’s going on. It’s probably arthritis, and there isn’t much they can do about that, but at least they would have a better idea of what’s going on. She was very happy at that suggestion.
Then I found out my sister had come by yesterday, which is her mid week day off. My sister never complains, I was told. And she’s never in a hurry, I was told.
*sigh*
My mother is so determined to drive wedges between us.
Then she told me our vandal visited yesterday.
Twice.
!!!!
It seems he was being treated yesterday, and he visited her before and after treatment. During one of them, he brought someone along. My mother wasn’t sure what they were, but it sounds like they were a therapist or counselor or something like that. He was, of course, on his best behaviour, and even asked her to sing some songs for him.
…
Red flags, all over the place.
Also, the doctors have apparently told him there is nothing more they can do for him. Which means his condition is terminal.
More red flags.
Based on past history with my late father, we’re going to have to be on the lookout that he doesn’t show up with a lawyer or something, and try to get Power of Attorney away from my brother. My mother would be very easily manipulated at this point.
Someone from the hospital, meanwhile, had called my brother last night and requested a copy of his PoA documents. I have copies of them, so I was able to bring them today. That, at least, has been taken care of.
Meanwhile, my mother talked about how our visits were “like medicine” and she felt so much better.
I’m not sure what she expects. She had visitors yesterday, but today she was calling us in a fury, demanding my presence? The only reason she told me about her visits yesterday was because I mentioned I had originally intended to visit yesterday, but the conditions were too slippery. I told her, now that she’s in town, I will be able to visit more often, but I don’t know when that would be exactly, from week to week. She told me, she would at least be happy with a phone call.
Then she started complaining that my calls weren’t getting through to her, and the nurse had to pass on messages. I explained to her that when I call, it’s to the nursing station, and they transfer me only when I ask them to. Since I was at her apartment, I had instead asked them to pass on the message, that I would be visiting.
I had to repeat it a few times, but I think she got it.
I’m happy to say that, when I left, it was on a good note. Very different from when I first arrived!
As promised, I stopped at the nursing station to pick up the documents, then talk about the possibility of getting X-rays for my mother. I mentioned that my mother still insists a doctor has never seen her. The nurse I was speaking to told me that she was with the main doctor when he saw her – this would be the one black doctor in the entire hospital that my mother doesn’t remember seeing. She did admit that it’s been a while since he’d seen her.
When I mentioned her pain, I was asked if my mother had been in any accidents, and I told them about her car accident, years ago, that is why one of her knees is currently bent sideways. As for her back and hip pain, it’s probably osteoarthritis. We talked about her current pain medication, which clearly isn’t cutting it anymore, and even the Voltaren doesn’t seem to be working as well anymore, either. The nurse promised to talk to the doctor about arranging X-rays, so they can have more information and determine any changes in her painkillers, at least. That’s about as much as they can do right now!
That done, I did the rest of my own errands before heading home. With how warm things got today, I knew the roads were going to get quite icy again.
If all goes well, I expect to be back at my mother’s apartment this weekend. Possibly with my brother, if he can squeeze out the time.
We’re going to need to get moving boxes or bins and packing material soon. We still don’t know where my mother is going but, with my brother’s availability, it would be good to get things mostly packed up before the end of the month.
We really need to get some idea of what’s happening next with my mother! All we know is “she’s not going home” – but until that’s official, there still is the possibility that they’ll discharge her to go back to her apartment.
While doing the morning rounds, I could not believe just how slippery everything was! I don’t think we’ve had anything like this, since we moved out here. Today was even more dangerous than after it was actually raining.
The camera on my phone seems to compensate a bit for the brightness. I couldn’t actually look at where I was taking the pictures, the sun’s glare on the ice was so blinding. I had to be super careful walking the paths to set out food and water for the yard cats. I was really appreciating the handles I’d put on the isolation shelter, as they gave me something to grip as I went from one sliding window to the other. I’d cleared the patio blocks below, but they are now covered with a thick layer of sheer ice.
Tomorrow, we’re supposed to get above freezing, so things should soften up and, in some areas, melt clear. Hopefully, that means the highway will be dry by the afternoon, as I plan to go to my mother’s apartment to check on things, then hit the hardware store to get some Roof Melt to get rid of the ice dam that has formed on the sun room roof.
Speaking of my mother…
I called the hospital last night. I timed it badly, as they were doing shift change, and I was asked to call back later. That meant I was talking to a new shift nurse, who had just barely been debriefed.
My mother, it turns out, had a rather “bad” day… and by “bad”, it was about her behaviour.
She had called me early in the morning, before they came to do her vitals, and over an hour before they were scheduled to do her morning meds. After I called the nurses’ desk back to explain the call to my mother, they checked on her, then I got a call back with an update.
Some time after that, it turns out my mother went into the hall and started yelling and swearing at the staff, calling them stupid. The nurse I was talking to had been updated during their shift change meeting, but hadn’t completely finished reading the written report yet, but she was able to tell me that the previous nurse managed to get her back into her room. The nurse then addressed her behaviour, in private.
I was both surprised and not surprised at the same time. I think it was the swearing that actually surprised me the most, because I didn’t think she knew any swear words in English. I’m probably wrong on that. If she had been swearing in Polish, it’s unlikely they wouldn’t have known if something was a swear, other than by tone.
I apologized for my mother’s behaviour, of course, but the nurse just laughed it off. She told me, the get this quite a bit, and never take it personally.
At the end of the call, I made sure to pass on my gratitude for how well they are taking care of my mother. She does not make it easy.
Some changes in her schedule were made, though. My mother complained that they weren’t doing anything for her, regarding her pain in particular. The only things they do for that is give her her Tylenol and rub affected areas with Voltaren, both of which help her a lot. These, however, were “as needed”, and if she didn’t specifically ask for them, she wouldn’t get them. It seems she wasn’t asking for them as often as she should have been. So now, both are scheduled. She will get both, twice a day, without her having to ask for them first.
There really isn’t anything else they can do for her. Most of her maladies are not things that can be fixed. At 94 years old, her body is simply giving out in places – and she really is doing remarkably well for her age! She doesn’t think so, of course.
Hopefully, they will find a care place for her soon, whether its assisted living, or a nursing home, like she wants. These places tend to have activities to help with cognitive decline, or simply for socializing. There is nothing like that available in the hospital, so she’s basically stuck alone for much of the day, stewing in her own mind, without the distractions she had become used to.
At the end of my call with the nurse, who was about to do the evening meds, she promised to call me back, if there was anything of concern. She did not call, so no news is good news.
After checking my mother’s apartment tomorrow, depending on the road conditions, I will drive to the hospital and visit her, too.
For a while, there, my mother had been doing so well. She really was happier than I’d seen her in years. Now, she seems to be reverting to her usual self again. Which makes the idea of visiting her or calling her on the phone a lot more stressful than it should be.
The hospital staff are saints. My mother is not the only difficult patient they have to deal with! At least, with her, she is an “easy” patient, in that she doesn’t need a lot of physical care, for someone that is hospitalized.
While we haven’t had anything official yet, we at least have been told she is not going to be discharged back to her apartment. They just don’t know when or where she will be discharged to, yet.
Which puts the rest of us in limbo.
I suppose we should start packing her apartment, though. I just don’t know where to start!
One of the things we found when we were cleaning the house out, before the movers brought our stuff, was an old rotary dial phone.
That phone is now set up beside my bedside, as it will continue working, even during power failures, unlike the modern cordless phones. There is one down side, though.
The ring is LOUD!
That’s what I woke up to.
That wasn’t the most jarring thing, though.
I actually got out of bed to grab the cordless phone, so I could check the call display, first. It was from the hospital. Sort of.
It was my mother, calling from her own phone in the hospital.
The first thing she started asking me was if I knew where the pendant for her Lifeline was. I told her, it was with the base in her apartment now. She wanted me to use it. I told her, I would have to drive to her town to do that (a half hour drive, if road conditions are good. They are not good.). But I have their number, right? Yes…
She wanted me to call her Lifeline to get advice on what to do.
…
She’s in the hospital, and she wants me to call the Lifeline for… health advice?
As you can imagine, this was very confusing even when not bleary from being half asleep!
From what I can figure out, if she had still had the pendant with her, she would have tired to use it, expecting to get a response from Lifeline, even though 1) the base is in her apartment and 2) her account is currently suspended until we know where she is going next.
She also thought the number I had was to whoever would have been monitoring her Lifeline, had it been active. The number I have is for their customer service. I didn’t even think about that at first, because I had no clue what she was getting at.
I told her, she’s in the hospital. If she needs help, use the call button.
What followed as a whole lot of jumbled stuff that I struggled to make sense of. Partly because she was talking in Polish, and didn’t have her teeth in. At the end of it, I did ask why she had switched to Polish and got only a vague answer that I think was her saying she didn’t want anyone to overhear what she was saying.
Somehow, in what was probably not that long of a call at all (though it felt much longer), she managed to…
Tell me the hospital isn’t doing anything for her. They just want her to sit quietly in the corner and die.
She’s been there for a long time (she even figured back to the date she went to the ER), and has still never been seen by a doctor.
They give her lots of pills. Eleven of them this morning (she hadn’t had her morning pills yet, I later confirmed, so… this would be the same morning she’s been talking to me about for over a week).
She is in pain, they come in to rub on the Voltaren, and that’s it, they don’t do anything else.
She wanted me to take her to a different hospital. Maybe they will help her.
Oh, and she squeezed in another complaint about paying for the Lifeline service, but they don’t help her. I reminded her, the service is suspended right now, but she was complaining about that before, anyhow.
When I tried to explain that you can’t just go hospital hopping, while trying to figure out just WHAT she wanted treatment for, I was told I was “on their side” and just wanted her to die.
Then she told me to talk to my brother, because he’s smart, he’ll know what to do.
…
She was clearly having a bit of a freak out, but I could not pin down what was going on. She talked about pain and they just rub on the Voltaren. Does it help? Yes. So what else does she expect them to do? She brought up her dry mouth again. They have given her a spray for that, and she doesn’t even keep it in reach. She wants them to “cure” it somehow, but it’s because she’s sleeping with her mouth open. She didn’t even bring up the pain in her chest that she used the Pepto for, but I couldn’t get the straight of whether there was anything else happening. When she started accusing me of being “on their side”, I told her, I’m trying to understand, but I need words! I need information!
I never got it.
She also went on about how they have five doctors, and no doctor has seen her. I told her, they don’t have five doctors at the same time. They have one. That’s it.
Oh, you’re on their side…
In the end, I promised her that I would pass things on to my brother, because he was wanting to book an appointment with the doctor to talk about next steps, anyhow. I told her, he was probably already at work, so I would message him. She actually ended the call so I could do that, which is unusual.
The first thing I did, though, was call the hospital to talk to whoever was at the nurses’ desk. I explained that I just got a call from my mother and the things she was saying to me. The receptionist didn’t know who my mother’s nurse was on that shift but, after being filled in, she told me she would pass all this on to her nurse, but would also check on my mother herself. She then offered to call back and update me, which I gladly accepted.
Then I got on my computer and started updating my brother. Part way through, I got the call back.
When she checked on my mother, the nurse was there, taking her vitals, and my mother was saying to her some of the things she’d already said to me on the phone.
My mother is apparently just fine. Her vitals are always really great. Her swelling is not an issue anymore. Her pain is being dealt with in various ways, as needed.
So what is it she is wanting to be treated for, to the point of wanting to go to a different hospital?
We don’t know.
My mother’s file was checked, and the last note from the doctor, about the Pepto my mother wanted, was written on the 5th. Today is the 13th. So he has been seeing her, even though he hasn’t needed to add notes each time.
So what is going on?
The doctor is seeing her, but she either doesn’t remember, or she doesn’t believe he’s a doctor. She had complained about how the nurses and doctors should be in uniforms, because she can’t tell them apart from a janitor. This doctor, however, is very distinctive. He’s probably the only black person in the hospital right now, probably the tallest person in the hospital, too, and he’s the same doctor that tended to her when she was hospitalized before. So it could be that she doesn’t think he’s a “real” doctor, because he’s black, and not doing whatever it is she wants done to her. This is a pattern with her, and not just based on colour. For as long as I can remember, she would go to doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, even priests, and any time they started saying things she didn’t want to hear, she would stop seeing them and claim they were somehow uneducated, unqualified, or otherwise not “real” in their title. If they did say something she liked to hear, she will drag that out, over and over, even if it is completely at odds with everything else.
We had a good talk about it. At one point, I read out a response from my brother, saying that my mother doesn’t understand that she’s in a holding pattern right now, while they try to figure out getting her into care, wherever that is. I explained that my mother WANTS to be in a particular nursing home, and that we’ve been trying to help her do that for two years now, with no success.
I think part of the problem (and the person I was talking to agreed) is that my mother is likely lonely and bored. With her eyes failing, she can’t read or write like she used to. She has her radio, but it’s set to a talk radio station in the city, because we couldn’t get the Polish radio station she usually listened to, so she’s probably not bothering. That talk radio station used to be a good one, and I remember we had it on a lot when I was growing up. It has changed significantly, over the years, and would probably not interest her anymore. She has the TV, but there’s only two channels, and she doesn’t approve of either of them. It’s just sports and stuff, and the same thing over and over, she says – and the news is just bad stuff, never good stuff, and the government should take them over and tell them to show only good stuff. Being in a hospital, there aren’t any activities that she can take part in, like there were in her apartment building, either.
So… yeah. She’s probably bored out of her tree, with only her own thoughts to mull on.
Which, considering the things she come up with, must be unpleasant. As my brother has said, it must be really scary to be in my mother’s brain right now. I mentioned that to the person I was talking to, and she agreed. We’re looking at increasing dementia, and she must be getting very frustrated and confused. This would be part of why she would get so upset with me when I can’t figure out what she is trying to tell me, or what she wants me to do. She doesn’t have the words. Even if there was some new thing wrong with her, she doesn’t have the words to tell us.
I updated my brother the rest of the way, but there really isn’t anything much he can do, either. We need to have that meeting with the doctor to get things straight and make decisions – and we’re already in the middle of January! My mother went into the hospital before Christmas.
She’s in the best place she could be right now, until some sort of long term care, assisted living or supportive living accommodations can be found for her, and we do know that she is being paneled for that while she’s there.
But she wants to be treated for something. Anything. All her many complaints, most of which can’t be fixed. Something. But aside from the swelling that got her into the hospital in the first place – which was blamed on a heart condition she doesn’t have – she is not sick. She is feeble, has already had a fall while there, and can no longer live independently. If it weren’t for our making a big deal about that, she probably would have been discharged home weeks ago, and she’s be in even worse shape. She would have been in real trouble if she’d had that fall in her apartment!
So… that was how my day started.
By the time all that was done, it was time for me to head outside for my morning routine, so that got taken care of.
I counted NINE cats and kittens in the isolation shelter, while doing the food and water in there!
The thermometer against the back wall is reading 5C/41F. Of course, it would be much warmer under the heat lamp, where Bug is hanging out.
After getting the morning stuff done, I was falling asleep on my feet, so I set a timer and went down for a short nap. It helped.
I was considering heading out to town today. My SIL had mentioned a product to me to help with the roof dams. I hadn’t even mentioned that we had one to them! They know how much of a problem that one spot it. Anyhow, these are pucks of calcium chloride and, depending on the brand, other chemicals. You just toss them up onto the roof, they melt their way down and then continue to melt away snow and ice for a long time. I called up the local hardware store to see if they had any in stock, but they did not. My mother’s town, so the south of us, has a hardware that apparently has the same brand of product in stock, but I wasn’t going to do highway driving, if I could avoid it.
We did actually reach our high of 3C/37F today, but it was at 4am. By the time I was outside doing my morning routine, it was getting cold, and we were having high winds. Anything that melted while it was warmer overnight was already frozen. As I write this, we are at -16C/3F, with a wind chill of -35C/-31F.
Tomorrow, we’re supposed to reach 1C/34F in the afternoon, through to the early evening, with continued high winds. It’s going to be our last warm day for a while. After that, we’re going to start getting highs below -20C/-4F. So if I’m going to run any errands, tomorrow is the day to do it.
It’s supposed to warm up slightly in the middle of next week, though, which is a good thing. I now have three appointments with the vet for spays or neuters. We’ll just be grabbing whoever we can that is for sure big enough to be done. Priority on the females, of course, but males if we can’t catch any. We’ll have to catch them the night before and keep them in the isolation shelter for the overnight fast. What we like to do is try to bring them in early enough to treat them with wet cat food, then take the food bowls out once their fast is supposed to start.
I’m still hoping we can get Frank in. She has allowed me to pet her a couple of times, but is extremely nervous about it. Adam has been around, but I haven’t been able to get close to her, and Slick may as well be as feral as Sprout, the way she’s been behaving lately. Then there’s that white and grey that has apparently moved into the cat house for the winter. Can’t get anywhere near her at all.
When doing the evening cat feeding, I was actually able to pick up and snuggle Blot, but she is probable too small. There are a couple of large kittens that I know are female – the calico, Sprig (daughter of Sprout), of course, but also the still unnamed fluffy black and white. There are fluffy tabbies that we just can’t tell, one way or the other. Too much fur, and we can’t get close to any of them.
We’ll bring in three, and that’s all we can be sure of!
So that’s good news.
Meanwhile, I am thinking I should probably call the hospital again and see how my mother is doing.
Honestly, I really don’t want to. You never know, though. She might have completely flipped between this morning and now, and be a different person again. There’s just no way to know, unless I call.
I got this picture of Colby as I was going back inside for the day. I so want to snuggle this fluffball! We’ve had no progress in socialization. *sigh*
Today, I needed to go into town to pick up a prescription so, of course, I did as many other things as I could think of while I was there.
The first thing to do was visit my mother in the hospital.
It was a short visit. She started to go off on things again, and I called her out on it. Her response, as usual, it to verbally attack me for being such a terrible person, projecting invented motivations for while I don’t agree with her. She did change tactics when I simply got up and started to leave, though, and I did stay a bit longer.
It was a very productive visit, though. I remembered to grab the pendant for her Lifeline. I explained to her that her account is on hold right now, which means she’s being charged at a 60% discount. She was already upset that she was paying anything for the service in the first place, when she “wasn’t using it” (she was, but that’s another issue), so of course, she didn’t like that. I told her that once the account is closed, they will have to come over to get their machine and the pendant – and she had the pendant with her!
Not anymore. I’ll take it to her place as soon as I have a chance to check on her apartment again.
That got us to talking about what she wanted us to do with her stuff, should she be placed… somewhere. I suspect, not a nursing home, but more likely assisted living or supportive living. She wants my sister to take some things, which I think they’ve already talked about. My mother was a bit upset that my sister wanted to keep a print of Mona Lisa that my mother was thinking of donating to a local museum.
I don’t think a museum would want it. It has zero historical value. My mother just really likes it. I got a different story about how we got it, though. Previously, I was told it, and another framed print, were found in the attic of this house when my parents bought it, back in 1964 or so. Recently, though, my mother told me she’d bought the print herself and had someone local frame it. If the first story were true, then the print and frame would very well be almost 100 years old. If the second story is true, it’s about 50-60 years old.
The reason she isn’t sure she wants my sister to take it is, she has no children, and what’s going to happen to it when she gets to be my mother’s age and needs to pass it on?
Yup. My mother wants to control what happens to it for multiple generations.
I asked her, why is she so worried about material things like that? If my sister wants it, let her have it! These are her treasures, she told me. I reminded her that the Bible says our treasures are in heaven. She choked on that a bit, then told me how glad she was that I know the Bible so well, but there’s just one problem. I need to go to church!
*sigh*
The thing is, even when we were going to church regularly, before moving out here, it wasn’t good enough, anyhow. It wasn’t the “right kind” of church. In the end, it isn’t about going to church at all, but about control, and I’m not the marshmallow I used to be. She doesn’t like that.
Still, we did manage to have an okay visit, before I headed to the pharmacy. After that, I decided to go to the dollar store (we have just the one) to look for blanket yarn. My mother is happy with the sleep hat I made for her, then mentioned she sometimes uses it to keep her hands warm, so I will make her a muff for her hands. I couldn’t find the same variegated yarn I used for her hat, but I did find a solid grey that is the same as one of the greys in her hat. I have just a bit of the variegated yarn left that I should be able to use as an accent.
From there, I made a quick stop at the grocery store for something my husband requested. They didn’t have it, so I found a substitute, then got a couple more things, just to add to our supple. We’re still planning to do a cookout soon, and the only thing we’re running low on that I want to use for that is potatoes.
After that, there was one last stop for gas. *sigh* The prices just jumped from $1.109/L to $1.229/L
Once at home, I updated my brother on how things went with my mother, had some lunch, then headed back outside.
The first thing I wanted to work on was the fire pit. I had a cover on it, piled with snow, but more snow managed to get under it, too. I made sure to clean up the paths to the food pile and the branch pile, first, then did as much as I could with the fire pit. We’ve been putting small branches, pieces of bark and such, into it during the summer, expecting to be able to burn them in a cookout, but we never got to use it all summer. Even after the fire bans ended, it was usually too windy to even consider it.
After getting a pork roast out of the freezer, I was thinking of cooking in the fire pit tomorrow, but after talking about it with my daughters, we decided to wait another day. Which turned out to be a good thing. After clearing the snow and bits of wood out of the fire pit, I found it too frozen to clear ashes away from the fire bricks I have on one side. They are there to put the Dutch oven on, so the legs don’t sink into the ground or ashes below. So I cleared as much as I could, then left it uncovered. Tomorrow is supposed to be another mild day, and the dark snow/ashes will melt faster in the sun that way. I should be able to clear the fire bricks by late afternoon.
I did swing the grill back over the fire pit after taking the picture, though. The stacks in the background of the picture are what I cleared out of the pit.
That done, it was late enough to pause and feed the outside cats, but early enough to do more shoveling. You can see the final result in the next two pictures of the above slide snow.
Yes, I was able to clear a path all the way to the sign cam! I really thought it would have to be split between a couple of days, but the snow turned out to be less packed than I expected.
I really do enjoy shoveling snow! I’ll probably pay for it tomorrow, but gosh, it felt good.
Getting the path cleared meant I could finally switch out the trail cam memory card. It should be interesting to see how many files are on the card. The solar panel on the camera was covered in snow when I got to it, but the batteries were at 91%. I do expect there to be gaps over the days when we got that deep freeze, as the batteries would have gotten too cold to power anything. Still, it’s been over a month. I’m almost dreading to see how many files there are! It’s going to take a while to go through them.
Meanwhile, my awesome daughter has been diligently working on hemming the overalls she got for me, and finished soon after I was back inside. Of course, I had to try them on right away, and they are exactly the length I wanted – a touch on the long side, since they’ll be worn over boots. They’re so comfortable, I kept them on. The fabric is pretty stiff, so the more they are worn, the faster it will soften. They will be prefect for when I head back outside tomorrow to finish clearing the fire pit.
Oh, I do wish I had a way to record things easily while I was shoveling. The yard cats are really loving the warmer weather and running around like kittens. They were also loving the paths I was clearing, and the new one I dug out, running and jumping, following me around, chasing each other, and just having a grand old time! We’re still expected to have mild weather for the next week to 10 days, if not the above freezing high they were predicting for this coming Monday. That has been pushed back another week, and then the high of the day is supposed to drop by over 20° and stay frigid for about a week! Considering how much the predictions have been fluctuating, though, who knows what will actually happen. For now, though, the cats are greatly appreciating the warmer temperatures – and so am I!
What I need to figure out, though, is what I will be doing for starting seeds this year. I should be starting bulb onions right now. We still need to move the aquarium greenhouses to be basement, but have no idea how we can get the big one down the stairs and around the corner at the bottom, without breaking anything. Getting the aquariums and the shelf the big one rests on is becoming more important, since we will likely be bringing my mother’s couch in. Actually, we still have the couch. She took the matching love seat to her apartment when she moved off the farm. It’s small enough that it should fit right where the big aquarium is set up right now.
Starting the onion seeds, though, probably shouldn’t wait until we figure all that out. This year, I’m thinking to try doing them in a “snail” roll, to make it easier to separate them when it’s time to transplant in the spring. That should be small enough that they can be set up in the living room to germinate.
Things have warmed up quite a bit today. As I write this, we are at -7C/19F, which is warmer than the predicted forecast.
While I was out doing my morning routine, I decided to take advantage of the weather and do a bit of clean up. Mostly, scraping the packed snow off the sidewalk and shoveling that clear. Then I decided to clean up the path to the compost pile that was starting to fill in and, since I was there anyhow, decided to shovel a new path to the back of the garage. I just had to follow a trail conveniently marked out for me by a deer! 😄
While going past the garden beds there, I was able to mound more snow over the winter sown kohlrabi bed.
The other bed with the winter sown cabbage has a cover stored over it, so I wasn’t going to add more to that one. The cover itself has probably created air pockets that would also serve as insulation to protect the bed.
I look forward to seeing how the winter sown beds work out in the spring! I haven’t even tried to get at the ones in the main garden area. There’s enough snow covering the entire area that I’m not going to bother.
That done, I continued towards the garage, but the closer I got, the harder it was to use the shovel to break through the crust of snow near the top. In the first picture below, you can see a line where I hit with the shovel and managed to just leave a mark. There was loose snow under the hard packed snow, but even clearing that away, plus the loose snow on top, the shovel just couldn’t break through. It already has a crack in it, so I wasn’t going to bash too hard.
Now, what I could have done was get the ice scraper and chop it up, but… I just couldn’t resist.
I got my machete out of the garage, instead.
In the second picture, you can see where I started to clear from the garage side. I didn’t have that much distance left to clear. After shoveling aside the loose snow on top, I started cutting out blocks. Some of them were angled cuts, as I had to make a turn in the path. The snow on the garage side was packed all the way to the ground, and I had to cut blocks in half horizontally so that I could free the top block, then cut again to get the bottom loose. After a while, though, I started reaching where the bottom layer of snow was loose, and it got much easier.
In the third picture, you can see the last bit before I reached the cleared path. The cats really liked the new path! At one point, I even found one tucked into the gap under the hard packed snow in the first picture.
As for the blocks, I ended up setting them along the north wall of the path to the outhouse. A little extra to block the wind and keep it from drifting in, which you can see in the fourth picture of the above slide show.
Last of all, I tidied the new path up with the shovel. Once I was done and putting things away, the cats immediately started running up and down the new path! I’m sure the deer whose trail to the compost pile I cleared will like the new path, too. 😁
I have to admit, I was really, really tempted to keep cutting more blocks and building up more walls. Which I might actually do more of, tomorrow.
Today, however, I needed to go into town, so I headed in for breakfast, instead.
Once in town, my first stop was at the hospital to visit my mother. She seems to be doing pretty good, though she complains that they aren’t “doing” anything for her. I’m not sure what they can do, other than what they are already doing. She seems to be looking for some sort of magical fix for everything. She gets out of breath very easily. There’s nothing they can do about that. She has pain, and they’re already giving her painkillers and using the Voltaren. They’re still giving her water pills more often, to keep the swelling down. She wants the doctor that’s covering for the one on holiday to see her, but for what, exactly? She never quite tells me.
After a while, I told her to just enjoy being there and being taken care of. She doesn’t have to worry about her meals, and if she has trouble at night, she just has to push a button, and help will come. Which is exactly what she has been wanting, for a very long time – to have someone around and available, especially at night. At one point, she told me she had to call for help while in the washroom. She was in too much pain in her hip and back to get up. She asked them to rub on more Voltaren, which is one of the only things that really seems to help her, and she was eventually able to get up. The nurse wanted her to get up and walk right away, but she had to tell her, she needs at least a bit of time for the stuff to start working, first!
I don’t know when the regular doctor will be back from holidays, but once he is, my brother wants to book a meeting with him to discuss my mother’s situation. The only thing we know right now is, there is nothing about her going home. Still, until we get official word that she will be going into some sort of care facility, we can’t really do anything more about her apartment, utilities, etc. I suppose we could start packing things. I’m really not looking forward to going through all my mother’s stuff, but wherever she goes, very little of it will be able to go with her. Basically, her clothes and that’s about it. She might be able to hang some of the family pictures on the wall of wherever she ends up, but if she ends up in the hospital for an extended period, while waiting to a bed to open somewhere, we’ll have to store things ourselves until we know what her set up will be.
In the end, it wasn’t a long visit. There wasn’t anything much new with either of us, and I’ll be back again soon, I’m sure. Now that she’s in the town closest to us, I’ll have more opportunity to visit her.
From there, it was off to the pharmacy, and then to run what errands I could think of, while I was in town.
When I headed out this morning, everything was covered in frost. Normally, that would have gone away during the day, but we’ve been overcast all day, so everything was still looking like something out of a post card while I was heading home.
One nice thing about living in the boonies. I could stop in the middle of the road to take pictures, and didn’t have to worry about traffic. 😄
The local company the RM contracts with to do the plowing did a fantastic job! There was a brief period few years ago, when a new council decided to lease a snow plow instead, then hire a driver as needed. It was a disaster, and the winter road conditions were the worst anyone could remember. That council was so bad, the province ended up disbanding it after too many people quit in disgust, then taking over until a new council could be elected. The new members went back to contracting with the same company that had been doing such a great job for so many years, and what a difference that has made!
Anyhow, that’s it for today, really. We’re supposed to have some pretty mild weather of the next while – a week from today, they’re now saying we might reach 0C/32F! Hopefully, I’ll be able to take advantage of it. If nothing else, we need to do a dump run when it’s open tomorrow, and then I can keep going to the feed store to the north of us, and get 40 pound bags of kibble for the outside cats for the month.
Other than that, I might just end up cutting more snow blocks. I haven’t built a snow fort since I was a kid. 😄
Well, I hope you all had a wonderful time bringing in the New Year! Or, at least, a calm and peaceful one. 😁
I didn’t make it to midnight. 😄
It actually turned out to be a very strange day for me. I’d gone to bed early, so I was up pretty early. I did the outside cats stuff and my short, winter version of my morning rounds, then tried to go back to bed. After numerous interruptions, I did actually get some sleep. So, you’d think I would have been good to stay up until midnight. After all, I rarely get to be before midnight on a normal day. Instead, I could have easily gone back to bed by 5 or 6.
The other odd thing was my body was basically falling apart, all day. Just with normal walking around the house, I’d have a knee start to give out, or a hip start to dislocate. Even just reaching to flush the toilet had my shoulder socket trying to dislocate. Then there were my hands! At one point, I’d made myself a hot drink in one of my giant mugs, which are basically twice the size of a typical coffee mug. When I tried to pick it up by the handle, I found I didn’t have enough grip strength to clasp the handle enough to keep it from sliding through my fingers. I ended up having to ask a daughter to pick it up for me, so that I could grasp it with both hands. It wasn’t until the cup was half empty that I could grip the handle with one hand and not be at risk of dropping it. It was so bizarre!
That was yesterday, but when I woke up today, it was pretty much back to normal. I have no idea why I had such issues yesterday, that would go away overnight like that.
This morning I was feeling good enough that, after doing my rounds, I scraped and cleared the sidewalks and main doorway steps, tidy up the paths that were already dug, and even started to extend more paths. Little by little, I want to dig our way to the fire pit again, but I was going to head back out to open up the turn around space in the inner yard. We will be doing our Costco stock up trip soon, and I want to be able to back up to the house with more room to turn the truck around in the yard.
Well, that’s going to be my focus for tomorrow, instead.
I had called my mother last night to with her a Happy New Year, and she gave me a bit of a list of things she wanted from her place. One of those things was her short wave radio that my brother got for her, so she could listen to her Polish station, with Mass and praying of the rosary.
I passed on to my brother bout the radio, and this morning they told me they were going to her place to get it, and did I want to meet them at the hospital to visit Mom?
I suggested I meet them at her apartment, so I could back some things for her, then they could grab the radio, then we’d go to the hospital together.
So that was the new plan for the day. I was able to leave soon after, which was really early, but I wasn’t sure if I needed to do any shoveling at the end of the driveway. It turned out I didn’t, and there was no need for the plows to go by again. That had me at my mother’s place before they even left home. Which was just fine.
I checked her answering machine, then packed a few things in a bag for my mother, spotting some things I figured she would like to have, even though she hadn’t asked for them directly. I also made sure to water her rosemary plant. That will be coming here to the farm eventually, but I didn’t want to grab it only to have it sitting in a cold truck until I could get home.
I was even able to get the radio partially ready. I just couldn’t get the special antennae down from where it was taped to the window. I’m too short. So when my brother got there, that was all he had to deal with, so he was done and we were heading out in less than 5 minutes.
They have one of their grandsons with them for a while, and the long drives were great for him to get a solid nap in!
Once there, my brother immediately started trying to set up the radio and antennae. In the end, there was just no way to get a strong enough signal for her FM radio station. He was able to find it, but it was really hard to hear, and there was no place he could set up the antennae and get a better signal.
My mother could not grasp why this was an issue. She was instead convinced my brother had bought her a “junk” radio (it is a very high end shortwave radio), because she never had problems before. Meaning, also back here at the farm. My brother told her that we were getting AM radio, but what she was listening to was FM radio. I well remember how hard it was to get an FM signal here, having had to set up antennae wires from my radio when I was a kid. In the end, my brother was able to find an AM station that she used to listen to. No Polish radio, no Christian station, but one where she could at least listen to the news. All she has to do it push the red button to turn it off and on. We tried to stress for her to not touch any dials. Hopefully, she will remember that!
Meanwhile, I unpacked the items I brought for my mother, making sure where I was putting them for her. She was quite happy when she saw some of the extras I’d bought, as they were things she wanted, but had forgotten to ask for.
We then had ourselves a decently long visit. She did seem really tired, and had almost no patience. For example, when my brother started to set up her radio beside her, the folding hospital walker was in the way. He moved it aside and I was going to get it out of the way, but I first had to move the wheelchair aside. My mother started demanding I move the walker to a certain spot, which was basically where the wheelchair was sitting, but when I didn’t immediately do it – because I was moving the wheelchair – she suddenly became enraged and actually started to kick at the walker from where she was sitting, in such a way that could easily have resulted in a fall. When we managed to get her calmed down and I could finally move the walker, she basically just slumped into her chair and started saying how, she’s used to doing things herself, but now has to depend on us, as an explanation for her behaviour. I told her, even she couldn’t do two things, like moving a walker and a wheelchair, at the same time! Which she did acknowledge. Sort of.
It was a good visit, though at times a distracting one, with a very energetic great grandson around. My brother got some recordings of my mother telling stories and singing. I’m glad he thinks to do that. I hardly ever remember to even take photos when I visit!
Once we were done with the visit, we wanted to go somewhere to chat and catch up on things. Being New Year’s Day, the only place that was open and had seating was a Subway. It wasn’t a busy time of day, so we were able to stay and talk for quite a long time. Again, it was very distracted with their grandson, but none of us minded. Eventually, we were able to cover quite a few things, and I even learned more about things that happened while we were living in other provinces over the years. We’re all quite confused over my sister’s recent actions involving our vandal which, I learned, has been a problem for quite some time. It seems both our vandal and my mother have been able to manipulate her very easily. Which is odd, because she really should know better by now. In all honesty, it seems my sister is showing cognitive issues as well, and is not at all as healthy as she may seem. I see way too many red flags. But, she’s skinny, and we all know that skinny people don’t get sick, right? /sarcasm
In the end, we just have to work with the hand we are dealt with and do the best we can, for each other as well as for our mother.
It was getting pretty late in the afternoon by the time we parted ways. One of the two grocery stores in town was open today, so I made a quick stop to pick up a few things before our Costco stock up trip. I haven’t decided exactly when I’ll be doing that, other than not-tomorrow. We are actually supposed to warm up slowly over the next 7-10 days, with expected highs next week just a few degrees below freezing. A good time to do more snow clearing, very little of which can be done with little Spewie. The parts that can be done with Spewie still need to be broken up with a shovel, first. The snow is deeper than Spewie is tall, and much of it is now hard packed by the wind.
One thing I’ve been able to see through various windows are some pretty large fallen branches, but they will have to wait until spring for clean up.
So what was supposed to be a home day ended up being an out all day, day. The nice thing is that I’ve got the girls able to take over my usual outside routine while I’m gone – plus, I came home to supper waiting for me! 😊
As for my mother, we’re going to have to wait until her attending doctor comes back from holidays before we can have a meeting with him and discuss next steps. Once we have something solid to work on, we’ll be able to make decisions about my mother’s apartment.
*sigh*
I have no idea what we’re going to do with her furniture. It’ll probably have to come here to the farm, but we’ve pretty much run out of storage space for larger stuff. We still have all the stuff we cleared out of the house and packed away, because my mother insisted nothing be thrown out. Fair enough. Most of it is in too good a shape to throw away. She did say we could have a garage sale, but that wouldn’t work out well. Not just because of our relative isolation, but that would be an open invitation for our vandal to cause problems. She’s also adamant that nothing goes to any second hand stores, either. So what are we supposed to do with it all?
Ah, well. We’ll figure it out, in due time.
Until then, here’s some cuteness to share with you.
This is Leyendecker and Susan. Can you believe they are siblings from the same litter – and that Leyendecker started out as the tiniest kitten of the litter? He’s an absolute giant, compared to his sister. He’s not just a fat cat, but a big beast in general. He’s even bigger than Big Rig, who was the largest kitten of the litter. She’s a chonk, too, but not quite as big as he is. Susan is one of our smaller, lighter cats now. Their mom is Beep Beep, who is a pretty normal sized cat. Bigger than Susan, but still dwarfed by two of her last babies, before we were finally able to get her fixed.
Okay, I should have gone back over my old posts, first.
Susan is not from the same litter as Leyendecker. She’s one of Beep Beep’s, but older. Beep Beep’s last litter included Leyendecker, Big Rig and two orange babies, Saffron and Turmeric. She also adopted Butterscotch’s last surviving kitten, Nikko, from that year. The orange babies and Butterscotch’s baby all got adopted out. They were pretty much the first kittens the Cat Lady adopted out for us, before she started her own rescue. My daughters just reminded me that Susan is Cheddar’s sibling. So… she is still the tiny sister of a giant cat. Just not the biggest chonky boy of the household! 😄
It gets hard to keep track, at times! It’s a good think I journal this stuff here, or I’d never remember. 😄
This is what I find pretty much every time I open the inner door from the old kitchen. Sir Robin, perched on the edge of the screenless window. He stays balanced, even as I open and close the door! Sometimes, there are two or three cats on there when I open the door.
Today has been a pretty uneventful day, with just normal daily routine, except for two things.
The first was a call I got from my brother. He’d received a call from the hospital, and the first thing he said to me was, our mother is okay!
She had a fall today. She somehow managed to slide off the toilet. She was able to reach the call button, but when they arrived, she refused help. !!! She managed to get up on her own, which amazes me, considering the state of her knees. No injuries. No bruises. She’s fine.
She did, however, tell them she can’t go home. She can’t take care of herself anymore. I’ve been saying this from the start, and I know my brother has as well, but she is finally voicing it more directly, too.
My brother did try to talk to someone at the nursing home my mother wants to go to. He got the run around on who he should be talking to, only to be told he should be talking to someone else, instead, etc.
What I found interesting is that the staff there remember my late father, with fondness. My father passed away almost 10 years ago. He was in the nursing home for only about 6 months. Yet, they still remember him! That it is with fondness is no surprise. Every time I called my dad, he would always comment on how well they took care of him. My father was always showing his gratitude and appreciation.
God, I miss him.
The other thing was my sister. No details, of course, but she finally responded to my calling her out on her telling our vandal that my mother was in the hospital. I was careful to challenge what she did, without attacking her personally. Basic rule of debate and argumentation: attack the idea, not the person.
Well, she never addressed a single point I made, but instead attacked me personally while making herself out to be a victim again.
Long store short, I ended up blocking her on FB, and removing her from the family group chat.
There is background to this, which I will not go into, here, but I’m still disappointed. Not surprised, but I had hoped it would not end up this way.
The frustrating part is, my mother makes a big deal about how we wants us all to get along, but she’s the one that keeps playing us against each other, wanting us to keep secrets from each other, and it was her manipulation of my sister that lead to this.
I feel very tired right now, and not in a physical sense.
The Re-Farmer 