We can get out now… for now

Knowing we had a pharmacy delivery coming – and more snow – as soon as I finished giving the outside cats their food and water, I headed to the garage to break out little Spewie.

I then spent the next 2 hours clearing enough space in front of the garage to be able to back the truck out and turn. Then I had to go in to warm up and have breakfast. My down filled coat was completely wet, so I ended up borrowing my daughter’s leather coat. It has no lining, but it cuts the wind completely, so the layers I had underneath were more than enough to keep me warm.

The first picture in the slide show above is what I got done in the morning. For a lot of it, I had to first break up the crust of snow at the top with a shovel before I could get through with little Spewie. With the wind, I was working only in one direction, so the wind could blow the snow away from me. I still got covered in snow, but at least it wasn’t as bad.

When I came about out to work on the driveway to the gate, I broke out a second 100′ extension cord. That was just enough to reach the gate. Thankfully, beyond the gate was blown clear. There was just the plow ridge at the end that needed dealing with.

Which I never got to. As I write this, my younger daughter is actually out there, working on it.

It took another 2-2 1/2 hours to get the driveway cleared to the gate. Dragging that much cord around sure didn’t make things easier! By the time I was done, the snow was starting to come down pretty hard. The wind was worse than the snow, though. I’d gone back to the gate with the shovel to work on the plow ridge but once at the gate, there are no longer any trees to block the wind, and it was just too brutal to keep going.

I discovered something while working on this. I have a step counter app on my phone. When I got in after the first 2 hours of walking back and worth, the app had me at a ridiculously low step count. I had my phone in my chest pocket, so there was no chance of snow getting in and getting it wet. It was so snug in there, it wasn’t counting most of my steps. When I headed out later, I had them in a pants pocket, but I had so many layers, it was still missing most of my steps. We’re talking off by thousands, not just a few steps here and there!

Once inside, I found someone had hung up on our answering machine. Caller ID told me it was the pharmacy, so I gave them a call. It was about the timing of our delivery. Even with the weather getting worse, the driver was already out! So I basically just stayed in my boots and my layers until I got the call from the driver that he was just a few minutes a day (something we have requested the driver does, since we keep the gate closed). I made sure to tell him I hadn’t been able to clear the plow ridge, so he might not be able to pull into our driveway. Then I bundled back up again to meet him at the gate. The plow ridge wasn’t too bad, but a bit much for a sedan, so he just pulled over on the road. As I asked him about road conditions, I noticed something extra on my husband’s bag of prescriptions.

Something that needed to be signed. With his meds including controlled substances, he has a form he (or I, on his behalf) needs to sign for them, once a year.

Neither of us had a pen.

So I brought it in and my husband signed it, then called the pharmacy about it. We hoped he could just take a picture and email that in, but they need the physical paper. He’s getting his bubble packs delivered next week, so we can give it then, or I can bring it over the next time I’m in town.

Which might be tomorrow.

My sister had called the hospital this morning and sent an update. My mother was finally no longer in ER, but in a room, where she has a TV and a phone. She was much happier! She’s going to be on IV for another day, and then… ???

Once I had the chance in the afternoon, I called the hospital again. The nurse I talked to had just checked on my mother, and she was napping.

I had a chance to talk to her about our concerns that she might be discharged to home, and that we felt she could not live independently anymore. We were hoping that, with her in the hospital, perhaps the doctor could make the decision, since home care wasn’t.

Now, when I say “home care” for this stuff, it’s not the local office that takes care of her visits, but a higher up office. Anything we do with the local office when it comes to paneling my mother for long term care gets sent to this higher department. That department is where everything has been stalled. My mother got paneled a second time, less than 2 months ago, and the local home care coordinator had heard nothing since she gave them the updated paperwork.

That department has a liaison in the hospital.

If the doctor thinks my mother needs to go into long term care, but the liaison disagrees, guess who has the final say?

Not the doctor.

The nurse completely understood when I expressed my frustration.

I did have a chance to tell her that my mother can be her own worst enemy. She will complain loudly about minor things, like her “dry mouth”, but it took us (including the home care workers) about a week or more to get her to finally use the Lifeline and get to a hospital.

Guess what my mother has been complaining about to the nurses?

Yup. Her dry mouth.

She can’t accept that she’s simply sleeping with her mouth open. She won’t use the spray. She won’t keep herself hydrated.

The problem with her complaining about the dry mouth is, she’s not talking about why she’s sleeping with her mouth open in the first place. She’s having trouble breathing when she lies down. This isn’t even a sleep apnea thing, because she struggled to breathe when the paramedics had her lying on her back for a few seconds before raising her up to a more seated position.

The nurse assured me that the doctor was aware of the situation. I knew I was forgetting something, and now that I’ve written this, I remember. I never mentioned her macular degeneration is getting worse, and we can’t even transport her to the specialty eye clinic in the city for treatment. She’s losing her vision. More reason for her to not be going home, but to go into long term care from the hospital.

Even the nurse was commenting that, when someone is approaching 100 years of age, like my mother is, they really should be able to just go into long term care if they want!

So I got that update from the nurse and passed info along to my family. My brother and I had already made plans to visit my mother tomorrow but, now that she’s in the hospital, we’re looking at going to her place to pick up some more clothes and whatnot for her, then going to visit her in the hospital.

Assuming the roads are open and cleared.

Then I got a surprise.

A phone call from my mother!

We had a chance to talk for quite a while. She actually sounded better than she has in quite a while. I told her that – then told her to try sounding sick! 😄

My mother being my mother, she had all her usual complaints. She used to work in a hospital 70-75 years ago, so she knows how they are supposed to be run, and always brings up the same thing. There’s always noise, day and night (I told her, she was in the ER. There’s no difference between day and night in the ER! But it should be better, now that she’s in a room). She can here the staff – and instead of using the word “laughing”, she starts to “laugh” in a very mocking and nasty way. She makes this complaint so often, it seems that hearing other people laugh is the thing about being in the hospital she hates the most. She doesn’t like the sound of other people being happy. As for being in a room now, she complained that she could hear another patient, calling for help.

She didn’t care that a patient needed help. She only cared that it was noise she didn’t want to hear.

Then she complained that she can’t tell the difference between a nurse and a janitor, because they all dress the same (she thinks they should be in those old style starched white uniforms, still).

Of course, she was also complaining about how they are giving her her medications. They look different (different pharmacy, different supplier), so she doesn’t think they are the right medications. There was one that she takes at bed time that they didn’t give her until the morning, so that’s another thing that made her believe they are giving her the wrong medications, different medications, they don’t know what they are doing…

If there’s any sign that my mother is feeling better, it’s that she’s hating on everyone around her again.

When I mentioned to her that we were planning to go to her place to get her some clothes, she wanted me to bring her medications. She doesn’t trust them. I told her, I could bring them, but they would have to lock them away (they had to do that with her T3’s that she brought with her) and would not be allowed to use them. They have to use their own supply, not hers. What was obvious was that, if she had access to her own bubble packs, she would be taking her own medications on top of what they were giving her.

She really is her own worse enemy at times!

She also told me the doctor said that she would be there for another week, and that a nurse told her that she had water around her heart. I knew she didn’t have any in her lungs, but the only thing mentioned to us is that they were trying to get the swelling down on her legs. No one has said anything about her heart, and no one has said anything about how long she will be there. When she was in the hospital before, she had told me the doctor said she would be there for another three weeks, but when we brought it up with the doctor, he had no clue what we were talking about.

So that whole situation is just a mess. It will be good when we can go to the hospital in person and talk to the doctor directly!

Whether or not we can get out tomorrow, we shall see. The snow is supposed to continue, off and on, for another 5 hours or so. It’s not a lot of snow, but the blowing snow advisory is on until 7 or 8am. Checking my weather and highway conditions groups, highways are being closed again all over the place.

I expect our roads to be plowed. It’s our own driveway that will be the issue. All the clearing I did will help, but my daughter told me that drift I’d cleared from under our gate was already back, and there was no sign that I’d cleared it earlier.

Also, she is so happy with her Tough Duck overalls. They cut wind like nobody’s business! They aren’t lined, but she didn’t feel the cold at all.

I need to get me a pair, too!

So that’s where we are at. It’s all one day at a time right now.

The Re-Farmer

She beat the storm… mostly

As I write this, our first blizzard of the year is building up. Inside, however, all is warm and cozy.

This morning, my sister updated us on our group chat. My mother had just phoned her. A bit odd that she didn’t call me, but it’s likely she thought my sister might drop everything and drive her to the hospital.

Did I mention we’re getting our first blizzard of the year?

My sister encouraged her to use the Lifeline and get an ambulance. The home care worker was encouraging her to use the Lifeline. My mother was worried. About her Meals on Wheels coming today. About her cash stash. About her stuff. She said she would get the lunch assist home care worker to help her get dressed. But would she actually push that button? My sister even let her know, there was a blizzard coming. She needed to decide right away.

It was about 1pm when I got a phone call from Lifeline, telling me an ambulance was on the way, and could I be there to tend to my mother until they arrived? I said yes, but that it would take me half an hour to get there.

It was just starting to snow here when I left. By the time I reached my mother’s town, visibility was dropping fast, with more snow and more wind. The ambulance was already there, and they had my mother hooked up to a machine that monitored her vitals.

Now, to them, my mother was looking pretty good. She actually looked and sounded better than she has for the past week. Her vitals were all really good. I mentioned that when she was in the hospital before, it was for pulmonary edema, and they told us that if she started getting swelling, to come back. I said that my mother has said she’s feeling like she did before she went to the hospital, last time. They asked about the swelling, and while it didn’t seem too bad at the time (that we could see through her layered pant legs and woolly leggings underneath) but we confirmed that it’s been pretty constant for a while now. One of the paramedics listened to her lungs and said she sounded clear.

I asked where they would be taking her. When my mother heard that they were taking her to the town nearest us, she was “what? No! Take me to [nearer small city]!” Why, I don’t know, but we told her, they have to take her to this other town’s ER. One of the paramedics told her, if she went to the smaller city, she’d be waiting a LOT longer before being seen.

As they were getting her into the stretcher, my mother was more worried about having her coat, having the bag she packed to take with her, and she would start talking to me in Polish to tell me things like not to let anyone know (meaning her neighbours) that she was going to the hospital, because there’s “some” people living there. Basically, she believes that if they know she’s at the hospital, they’ll go into her apartment and steal her stuff. I assured her that I would take care of things and (given the weather) that I could even stay the night, if it came down to that.

As they set her in the stretcher, mostly lying flat, my mother jerked as if in pain, started gasping and I could see she was struggling to try and roll over. They were alarmed and asked her what was happening, and she told them “I’m dying.”

*sigh*

I explained to them that it’s worse when she’s lying down, and she usually lies on her side. Which they don’t really do on the stretcher, so they got her sitting up as much as possible and put her on oxygen.

Then they tried to wheel her to the ambulance.

This “accessible” apartment building is not very accessible. The stretcher barely fit through the doors, and got caught on the push bar handled of the outer door. They had to back up the stretcher then fight to angle it – with the inside door blocking the way – to get it through.

Once they had her loaded up, I went back to my mother’s apartment. There were a few things to put in the fridge and dishes to wash, and otherwise make things secure. I also called the home care office to let them know my mother was on the way to the hospital, so her visits needed to be suspended. I then locked things up and started heading home as quickly as I could. The weather had deteriorated a lot in what was really a short time. Not as bad as our drive into town yesterday, but getting there fast.

I do wish my mother hadn’t delayed using her Lifeline for so long, but at least she would get to the hospital before things went from “storm conditions” to “orange alert blizzard” conditions.

For now, it’s a waiting game. Will she be admitted to the hospital from ER? Will they try to send her home? Will she finally be allowed to go straight to a nursing home, like she’s been asking for the past couple of years? That would be her most desired “Christmas present”. The nursing home she wants to go to is just a few blocks from the hospital she’s been taken to. It’s also the same hospital she was at for three weeks, before. I am at a loss as to why she wanted the other hospital, as she’s done nothing but complain about her past ER trips to that hospital.

The main thing is, she’s finally in. Once the storm is passed and the roads are cleared, I expect to be going into town fairly regularly. Depending on how long she’s expected to be there, I’ll likely be tending her apartment, too.

I’d be really ticked off if they try to send her home!

Hopefully, we’ll get word fairly soon.

The Re-Farmer

Wow

Today was going to be a lot warmer, though not going above freezing as was being forecast off and on for the past few days.

We were planning to do a much needed dump run, then go into town for errands. With that, and the warmer temperatures, in mind, I scraped the packed snow off the sidewalks and cleared them, so they could warm up faster and melt clear. We had both rain and snow in the forecast, though, so I wasn’t sure just how much good it would do, but at least it got done.

I waited until before noon, when things were still warming up, to bring the truck into the yard and load it for the dump. I left it running, partly to defrost all the windows, but also to keep the cats from going under it.

It almost worked.

It didn’t stop a couple from going under the back!

Thankfully, they cleared themselves out before my daughter and I were ready to leave.

Right away, before even getting through the gate, we knew we were going to have issues. Everything was so slippery!

As we drove towards the highway, we started getting hit by the wind. Just turning onto the highway, I knew I wasn’t going to reach full speed! Thankfully, the dump isn’t that far, but we were getting hit with a cross wind and sudden gusts. I’ve got good all weather tires, but they are just all weathers, not winter tires, and I could feel that wind trying to blow us off the road.

The dump run done, we headed back towards our little hamlet and, by then, conditions were getting worse. We drove through our hamlet towards town, which was more shelters, so instead of blowing snow, we were getting accumulated snow. On top of ice.

Once we cleared town, the wind was even worse than on the highway to the dump. The closer we got to town – and the lake beyond it – the worse things got. The snow was heavier and the visibility kept dropping. I was doing well below the speed limit and wasn’t even being passed, which says a lot for our area!

Once in town, our first stop was the pharmacy. Since it was past lunch by this time, I originally planned for us to grab a bite after the pharmacy, but the weather changed that plan! Instead, we went straight to the grocery store. We had four of our 18.9L/5 gallon water jugs to refill on this trip, so we needed two carts. I only needed to pick up some bread and eggs, but my daughter picked up a few things as well.

As we got out of the store, I thought things looked like they were clearing up a bit.

I was wrong.

My daughter got this shot out her window. She tried to get a shot of the road ahead of us but the camera frustratingly clears up the shots so much, you could actually read the signs – something we couldn’t do while driving!

At least we were driving out of the worst of it, but I was still driving even slower than we did on the drive in.

Once at home, we pulled in front of the house to unload. Thankfully, we’re pretty well shelters from the north, though not so much from the west, and the winds were coming from the northwest. After unloading, my daughter was going to park the truck in the garage while I went to go the outside cat feeding early, and my other daughter put everything away.

As I came out, I found my daughter still in the driveway, stuck!

I went over to try and give her a hand when I realized something.

The truck was set to rear wheel drive. One back tire was spinning like it was elevated and floating on air! I got her attention and she switched it to 4 wheel drive – and got out easily after that!

Gotta remember. When we take the truck to the garage, they switch it from auto, to 2 wheel drive.

So that was all taken care of.

My mother had called while I was in town, though, so as soon as I could, I called her back, thinking she was calling because she wasn’t feeling well.

She was calling to check on the cards she asked me to mail. Especially the card for our vandal.

*sigh*

So I reassured her about the mail, then asked how she was feeling.

Terrible.

She then spent some time talking about how bed she felt, like she felt before going to the hospital, it’s worse in the mornings, much of which I was able to get out of her while there yesterday.

I encouraged her to use the Lifeline and have them get her to a hospital. If she has water in her lungs, she needs to go to a hospital. Only she can make that decision.

She then went on about various other things and even went so far as to say, she doesn’t want to bother anybody.

I told her, you do it all the time. And that’s okay. Sometimes, you need to do that. This is one of those times.

After several more minutes of encouraging her to use the Lifeline and get herself to a hospital, and reassuring her that we would take care of all her stuff that she’s worries about, I told her I would let her get off the phone, so she could use her Lifeline (which is through the phone line).

I don’t think she’s going to do it.

*sigh*

If she’s going to do it, I really hope she does it today. Tomorrow, we’re supposed to get 7.5cm/3″ of snow, with another 10cm/4″ of snow overnight into Thursday morning, then on Friday, another 4cm/1.5″ of snow.

Right now, my brother and SIL and I are tentatively planning to visit my mother on the weekend, as they will be spending Christmas with their grandsons in another province. Obviously, if she goes to the hospital, those plans will change.

Well, we’ll see how it goes.

The Re-Farmer

Fluffy babies, new acquisition, and a loooong day

First, the cuteness!

The grey fluff ball in the first picture seems to be in the catio shelter a lot. Like it’s claimed the space, though the more feral adult cats also use it. Those ones run off when I come close. This one makes sure to be out of reach, but has figured out that it doesn’t need to leave the catio. I just reach in through the door to fill the food and water bowls.

The second picture is of Colby. This morning, I was actually able to give him pets and scritches that he happily accepted without trying to run away. It was while he was going for the food trays, but he stopped for the pets. When I did the evening feeding, he wouldn’t come close enough for me to touch him, but being able to give him such thorough pets this morning is a huge leap.

While refilling the water bowls, I suddenly started to smell something strange. Like … smoke? Not the wood smoke I sometimes smell, wafting in from neighbours that heat with wood. More acrid.

Of course, I was looking all over for a possible source, but could find nothing.

After I was done and ready to head inside, I paused to pet cats that were under one of the heat lamps. Havarti was one of them and, as I started to pet him, he arched his back into my hand, tail straight up and stiff…

Right up into the heat lamp’s shield.

Suddenly, there was smoke billowing out. I pushed his tail out and saw the singed fur. Just the fur. He never felt a thing. Some of that fur must have stuck to the ceramic heat bulb, because that kept smoking for a while!

Worse, he kept coming back for more pets, going right under the heat lamp with his tail up high like a flag.

So I’m guessing that’s what I was smelling. One of the cats must have stretched or something while under the heat lamp, and a tail brushed the bulb. This lamp doesn’t have a guard, like the bigger one does, but even the guard can’t stop something as skinny as a tail!

Today was my day to go to my mother’s, but I first made a stop at the post office. I’m happy to say that I did get my new credit card. The one they sent me in the middle of September – three months ago – to replace my expiring one still has not shown up, thanks to the postal strike. The strike is over but, at this point, I doubt it ever will come in. I’m glad I went with the option to have the original cancelled as “lost”, so they could expedite a new one.

I also picked up my new, 4th edition, of Back to Basics.

The second picture is of the table of contents. Sorry about the flash reflection, but it was the only way to get rid of the shadow of my arms holding my phone.

Tonight, I plan to get my old edition out to check out the differences between them.

After getting the mail, it was off to my mother’s. I timed it so I could pick up some fried chicken at the gas station. My mother’s building has group meals every now and then, that everyone contributes a few dollars towards, every month. The most recent one had meals brought in from one of the restaurants that specializes in fried chicken, but it’s very different from the franchise in this gas station. My mother was not impressed and commented on how much better the gas station’s chicken is. They also have potato wedges with the same coating as the chicken that she really likes. So I got some chicken and wedges for myself, then a second box of chicken and wedges for my mother. She had her Meals on Wheels today, so I figured she could have it for supper, or for lunch tomorrow, as a treat.

I got to my mother’s shortly after 11am. Her Meals on Wheels gets delivered at noon, so I used the time to get a few things done or at least started, including the one load of laundry she had left. One of the machines is broken, so my sister was able to do only one load while she was out, a few days ago, making sure to wash the things my mother needed right away. I even had time to change her bedding before her lunch arrived.

One request she had for me that was rather different.

She wanted me to mail her Christmas cards – but not in her town. She wanted me to take them to our post office, because she doesn’t trust the one in her town.

*sigh*

One of them was a card for our vandal. Which, she told me, had money in it. *sigh* She couldn’t remember his box number, but it’s at our post office, so the postmaster knows what it is. She wanted them to just stamp it with a postmark and stick it in his mail box. Another of the cards was to a relative that live in the town nearest us, and she wanted it to not go to the city first, but to go straight to that town.

My mother has no understanding of how the postal system works.

My mother’s Meals on Wheels is delivered by a volunteer from the senior’s centre, who also does all sorts of activities in her building, so my mother has gotten to know her pretty well. This woman also knows our vandal. When she delivered the meal, she paused to let my mother know that she’d run into him recently, and he’s looking really bad right now. She almost didn’t recognize him. She said they spoke, and he asked her to pass on his Christmas well wishes to my mother.

*sigh*

This did remind my mother to ask about the letter from our vandal that she’d delivered. She’s brought it along with the Meals on Wheels tray. This was almost 2 weeks ago, and she could not remember. It must have been left on my mother’s walker. He’d given her letters to give to my mother before, and she would have remembered that, but he hasn’t done that in a very long time.

We ended up telling her briefly some of the things he’s been doing. My mother said that, the last time he came to see her, he behaved so badly, she told him not to come back. I had pictures of the letter, with a date, so I was able to confirm exactly what day she had brought it, and she simply could not remember. I told her, very briefly, about what was in the letter, and how our vandal has been behaving towards us, including blaming me and my brother for causing his cancer. When I mentioned, I really don’t want to get another restraining order, she actually said, I might have to do that. She gets along with him, but is quite aware that there’s something wrong with him.

Her meal delivered, my mother and I had lunch together. We’d already worked on her shopping list and got that ready, so once we were done and I saw that it would be a while before her laundry could be switched to the dryer, I headed out to do her errands. After going to the pharmacy and grocery store – for someone who yelled at me a couple of days ago that she didn’t need groceries, today was actually a larger grocery list than usual! – it was back to my mother’s to finish things up. The big job was saved for last – mopping her floors. Which is when I discovered she doesn’t have any cleaners. She uses laundry detergent for her floors! When I asked her about it and she told me she used laundry detergent, she asked what I used. I told her, floor cleaner! Well. All purpose cleaner, but they make cleaners special for floors. Which I find weird because, growing up, I know full well she used other kinds of cleaners, but she acted as if she’d never heard of floor cleaner before!

Finishing the mopping was perfect timing. I went to check the laundry, just in time to hear the dryer give its finishing buzz. That was the last thing left to do. I got her laundry folded and was putting it all away, as well as putting away other things that were done with and generally just finishing up.

My mother took that as me getting ready to leave, because she started accusing me, “You said you had all day for me today. You said you’d give me all day.”

Which had me looking at the clock and saying, It’s almost 2:30. I’ve been here a long time. Oh, but you said all day…

After several hours of constant activity, I was certainly ready to sit down for a bit, but I did remind her that she wanted me to mail things are our post office, so I had to leave before they closed. She at least acknowledged that!

Once I sat down, though, she suddenly starting getting in on what a bad parent I am because I “hide the girls” and “do everything for them.” You see, earlier, she wanted me to take home a magazine the social workers give her. A magazine we don’t read. She was basically wanting to give us her garbage. I told her, we don’t read that kind of magazine. She suggested the girls might like it. I just laughed and said no, they don’t read that kind of magazine, either (it was one of those check out display women’s magazines). She started telling me not to speak for them, to which I asked, are they here? No? I know them. I know what they like.

Anyhow, because she doesn’t see them (she doesn’t understand that she has driven them away by her own actions, and they dread being around her), she just makes up reasons for it, and all those reasons involve me being a terrible person. Oh, and if I got the girls to do more of the cooking and cleaning at home (which is what they do the most of, already), that would give me more time to be with her.

I told her, they do most of the inside stuff, I do most of the outside stuff.

You don’t have cows. What do you have to do? Shovel snow?

On it went.

I had barely sat down when she started on this. I’d hoped to get a bit of a rest before leaving, but that was it. I got up and started getting my coat on.

She did change her tune, sort of, and we did part on a more positive note, at least, but it blew me away how quickly she went from being okay, to attack mode. She really does seem to hate me. Or at least hold me in contempt. Until she needs me for something, of course. *sigh* Ah, well. Nothing we can do about that.

On another note, my mother is not doing well. It took some questioning (and it turned out she was telling the home care coordinator different things than she was telling me, which I found out when checking my email while doing her shopping), but eventually my mother said that she felt like she did before she went to the hospital. Which was for pulmonary edema. Given her shortness of breath and swollen legs, that makes sense.

Now, since we’ve moved out here, my mother has gotten us (including my brother) to take her to the ER for all sorts of things, several times, for far less problems, She would end up in the ER, with one of us with her, for over 10 hours, each time, would get sent home and then be angry that they didn’t find anything wrong with her. The one time she actually ended up in the hospital, it was after one of her church neighbours had taken her to the local clinic to see a Nurse Practitioner – an actual appointment – and they ended up sending her to the ER in the town closest to us by ambulance. Now that it looks like she actually should go to the hospital, and we’re encouraging her to use her Life Line, so they can get an ambulance for her (the most efficient and safest way to transport her), she suddenly doesn’t want to. She did acknowledge that she probably should go to the hospital, but she says she doesn’t want to leave her home.

This from the person who’s been fighting to get into a nursing home for about 2 years now.

We can’t force her to do it, though. She has to make that decision herself. Part of the problem is, she thinks if she’s gone for any length of time, people will steal her stuff. The other part of the problem is, my mother doesn’t like to make decisions for herself. She wants other people to make decisions for her, so she can then blame them if things don’t go the way she wants. This is a life long pattern.

So that was the state of things when I left. As promised, on the way home, I stopped at our post office to mail her cards.

When I got there, I saw someone at the post office, picking up packages. This is someone I grew up with, like one of my own brothers. Actually, at one point, I decided I was going to marry him. I think I was about 8 years old at the time. 😄 He’s one of the few people still managing to be friends with our vandal, and the last time I saw him in person was at the de-consecration service for our hamlet’s church that someone tried to burn down and cannot be salvaged. When he drove in and parked, just behind our vandal and his wife, I’d gone over to talk to him. I’d recently sent him a message about something our vandal had said/done, but hadn’t gotten a response. When I got to him, he actually started yelling at me, and was really angry about what I’d said about our vandal, and that I should “just stop”. Stop what, I had no idea. During the service, our vandal can actually been okay around me and we even spoke briefly. I had some hope, until he sent another really vile voice mail message to my brother, that same evening. I ended up sending a copy of that message, plus another one, to this friend, with a message that included saying I had no idea what I was doing that he thought I should stop; I hadn’t had contact with our vandal in ages. After getting that message, I got a brief response. He was clearly shocked by the messages, and said he needed to do some thinking.

That’s the last time I had any real contact with him, other than waving at each other as we pass each other on the gravel roads.

Seeing him at the post office, collecting his packages, I went to hold the door open for him. When he came around and saw me, I joked that I figured he would have his hands full!

He absolutely lit up when he saw me. As he came over, still holding his packages, he managed to give me a great big, warm hug. We exchanged Christmas and New Year’s wishes before he left. It felt so good! With our vandal seeming to have turned so many of our neighbours against us, this really just made my day. We will probably never be able to repair the relationship I had with our vandal again, but at least this dear friend is still a dear friend!

From there, I went to take care of my mother’s mail. I explained about the one for our vandal, and that my mother didn’t remember his box number. It was a new postal employee, though, and she said she didn’t know any of that stuff yet, but she promised to set the cards aside for the postmaster (who grew up here and knows pretty much everyone) to take care of. That one card might actually go straight to the postal box there, but the other two will have to go through the usual routine!

Then, since I was there anyhow, I picked up a few things. While waiting my turn for the post office, I was standing next to one of the booze displays (that corner is the “liquor store” part of this old fashioned general store). I spotted a chocolate whiskey that looked very interesting – and it was a very reasonable price – so I picked up a bottle. My daughters and I will have to taste test it, later!

By the time I got home, it was time to do my evening routine, including tending the outside cats, before it got dark. Then I made sure to update my family in our group chat about my mother, then update and respond to the home care coordinator’s email. That no show on my mother’s bed time meds on Friday, after I’d given the okay for the male home care worker to do the med assist, even though he couldn’t to any personal assist, got a strange answer. According to her, there was no med assist scheduled for that night, with a note that this was confirmed with me by phone. Which is the opposite of what happened!

Something went very wrong, there!

Thankfully, my daughters had a supper ready and waiting for me when I got home (which, according to my mother, they never do!), so I could take care of all this stuff right away.

Tomorrow, I’m going to be out most of the day again. The current forecast says we’re going to get a high of 2C/36F, so it’s going to be laundry day (since we’re still running the washer’s drainage hose out the window in our new front door). While that is being take care of, I’ll be doing a dump run, possibly with one of my daughters, then going to town for errands of our own. While I was gone today, we got a call from the pharmacy confirming we have stuff ready for pick up – that would be my request to have 3 months worth or refills done, instead of just 1 month, for myself and my daughter. My husband had something scheduled to be delivered, but since I’ll be in town anyhow, I’ll be able to pick it up – and I can give the pharmacy my new credit card number for their files, to use to pay for any future prescription deliveries.

Warm as tomorrow is supposed to be, the winds are supposed to pick up even more – and keep picking up more over the next few days.

Thankfully, the gas prices went down again and I was able to fill my tank before leaving my mother’s town, at $1.109/L.

Just a bit more running around between now and Christmas. I really try to avoid shopping this time of year, but there will be one more city trip between now and then.

Hard to believe Christmas is just 10 days away!

The Re-Farmer

A day of rest, and sadness

Today has been an actual day of rest, for a change. Which, for me, meant finally going some crafting. Something I find rejuvenating. Especially since I don’t get much opportunity to do crafts lately.

Heading outside for the morning routine wasn’t too bad, after yesterday. While chopping the ice out of the covered greenhouse water bowl, though, I noticed the warm water I put in it had clearly been draining out one side. I spotted a crack at the top, but it’s a double walled bowl, so I had to chip the ice away to see how far it went in case I could just put some aluminum tape over it or something. It turned out to be all the way to the base. After some searching, I found a metal replacement. Something that can won’t crack or shatter in the cold! I didn’t try to do a head count, but I did get a picture of this tower o’ kitties.

Those fluffy ones sure have plenty of natural insulation!

Once that was all done and I got settled inside with my crochet (working on this year’s hand made Christmas decorations), I lost all track of time. Before I knew it, it was almost 4pm. Sunset is just past 4:20pm this time of year, and I wanted to get the outside stuff done before it got dark.

It was -22C/-8F this morning, so I figured it would be a lot nicer out there at -15C/5F.

I was wrong.

That wind! I had to actually secure the sun room door open because it was being blown around so much. The wind chill turned out to be -35C/-31F, and boy was I feeling it!

Unfortunately, there was something else that I noticed, even as I was in the old kitchen, getting a bowl of kibble ready.

An odd smell.

It was in the sun room, too. Which brought up all sorts of unfortunate suspicions.

Sadly, this time, I was right. Looking past a kitten in the opening of their favourite cat cave, I could see little white paws. I knew right away, we’d lost that little white and grey kitten that had been so sick.

I had to actually get other kittens out of the cat cave first. I don’t think the poor thing was gone for long but, from what I could see, I would guess the cause was some sort of intestinal blockage. Which also accounted for the odd smell. Poor baby! It hadn’t been thriving and, to be honest, this is not a surprise, but it still hurts. I couldn’t even bury it, because the ground is frozen, so it went into the branch pile for cremation.

None of the other cats and kittens show signs of being sick like this one was, so hopefully this means we won’t have a repeat anytime soon.

We’ll be getting some relief from the bitter cold over the next few days. In fact, the high forecast of Tuesday (the day after tomorrow) has just changed from 0C/32F to 2C/36F! The long range forecast has completely shifted. Before, it was saying that it would be milder around Christmas, potentially going above freezing. Now, Christmas is expected to be colder, while the days around New Year’s are supposed to be just a few degrees below freezing.

I’m headed to my mother’s tomorrow, and will spending most of the day doing her deep cleaning and getting her apartment ready for Christmas. She seems to be feeling better, and is certainly behaving better, since her blow up on Friday.

I spoke with the home care coordinator that day, about how my mother was, and she followed up with my mother, too. I also got a call from the scheduler, telling me they only had a male available for her bed time assist. I wasn’t going to be able to come in to do it, so I gave the go ahead for him to cover my mother’s bed time meds, with the understanding that he wasn’t going to be doing any of her other assists that the ladies do for her. I called my mother to let her know, and she was good with that. When It talked to my mother yesterday, she told me that guy came for her supper time med assist, said he was going to be back later, but never showed up for her bed time meds. That lead to another conversation about how no, they are not allowed to just leave her next meds out for her so they don’t have to come back later. We’ve gone over this so often, and she just refused to accept their limitations.

She had called me last night to tell me the supper time assist hadn’t shown up either, but she arrived while we were talking on the phone. I didn’t take a picture of her newest schedule, unfortunately, but based on what my mother had told me, the home care worker showed up an hour late.

Hmm. Looking at tomorrow’s forecast, we’re supposed to be warmer than today, but with higher, gusting winds. I’m going to have to be careful on the highway to my mother’s.

Once I’m there, I can finally get a chance to really talk to her and see if I can get a clearer idea of what she means when she says she’s not feeling well. It’s frustrating that she says she needs a doctor, but refuses to use her Lifeline so they can get her to a hospital.

We’ll see how that goes.

Until then, I’m going to try not to worry about losing more yard kittens for a while.

The Re-Farmer

Not going anywhere!

That Alberta Clipper moving across the prairies hit us early.

That -22C/8F is cold, sure (it’s actually gotten colder; while I was doing my morning rounds, it was -20C/-4F).

That wind chill of -40C/-40F, though. Yikes!

When I first headed outside, I thought I might do some shoveling after I finished feeding the yard cats and giving them warm water – which had started out as hot water, but was a drinkable temperature by the time I refilled their bowls. By the time I finished with the cat stuff, which only takes about 5 or 10 minutes, I knew I wasn’t going to do any shoveling.

Nor would I be going to my mother’s. As soon as I opened my FB app, the first thing I was seeing in my news feed was posts from the highways group I’m on, talking about nasty road conditions. There is a provincial site with road conditions, but it doesn’t get updated much, so this group is far more accurate when it comes to current conditions.

Once I got back inside, one of the first things I did was call my mother. By then, it was about 8:45, so I knew her home care would be arriving soon and I figured she might be up and about. It went to her (new) answering machine, though, so I left a message about not coming out and that I would call back soon, because I knew home care would be there soon.

About five minutes later, my mother called. I thought she had heard my message. Instead, she asked if I had just called her. I said yes, I left a message.

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

What followed was several minutes of my mother ranting and raging.

There was no message. There’s just numbers. Tell [my brother] to bring back her old phone. She doesn’t need his technology (he got the least technical phone he could find for her!!), she needs a doctor.

????

This went on in circles for quite some time. She kept saying, she doesn’t need technology, she needs a doctor, and she wants me to take her to a doctor.

She can’t even get into my truck anymore, and where would I magically find a doctor available on short notice, like this? It’s not like anyone takes walk ins anymore.

I did manage to say that the reason I’d called was because I wanted to reschedule today, because of the weather, and had been thinking of Monday, since I could do her grocery shopping as well by then.

She lost it again, and I couldn’t continue for several more minutes. She doesn’t need groceries. She has groceries. She needs a doctor. She needs to see a doctor.

Not once did she say why.

As for my not coming out to her today, her response was a nasty dig of how “of course” I can’t come out. Like it was a personal rejection.

I finally managed to tell her, if she feels that bed, use the Lifeline, get an ambulance and go to the hospital.

Dead silence.

I repeated the instructions.

Dead silence.

I tried again, adding that if she wasn’t feeling that bad, home care would be there soon. She could talk to them.

Dead silence.

You’re not talking to me now?

Dead silence.

I told her I would call back after she’s had a chance to calm down and said goodbye.

I tried again when I was pretty sure home care would be there. She actually answered the phone fairly quickly, and was much calmer. We talked for a while about her situation, and how I wasn’t going to be coming out today. I asked when home care was supposed to arrive, and she said they show up whenever they feel like it. I’d mentioned the weather and road conditions, and she actually considered that this might be why they weren’t there yet (she never told me the actual time they were scheduled for, she just has a time in her mind they should be there, regardless of what the schedule says). With a day like today, it would not be a surprise if people were falling behind, even if they only need to drive in town. She started to talk about how, if she just had a “slip”, she could take her pills herself, and I shut that down, saying flat out that what she needs is to be in a nursing home (which she has been fighting for, for over a year now), and I’m really upset that it hasn’t happened yet. That seemed to actually mollify her a bit.

Then the home care worker showed up, so I asked to talk to her.

I briefly explained the situation, and how my mother wasn’t saying WHY she needed a doctor. I asked if she could make the best assessment she could (they have their limitations) and that, if necessary, get my mother to use the Lifeline and get her to a hospital.

I haven’t had a call back, so that probably didn’t happen.

So my morning has been spent on the phone and on my computer, updating my siblings and so on. I’ll be calling my mother again later to check on her. Otherwise, it’s a day to stay home and stay warm!

Good grief. What a way to start the day!

The Re-Farmer

A much longer day than expected

First up, the cuteness. I actually got this photo, yesterday. I wanted to get a good photo of Kohl for the rescue, as they will be taking her in and getting her ready for adoption, later this month.

What a gorgeous lady!

Also, in giving her a cuddle, I found that the fur on her chest is so matted, it’s like an armored breastplate! That’s on top of the mats I have also been finding when petting her back.

Whoever adopts the beautiful Kohl is going to have to help her take care of the glorious coat! Hopefully, she will discover she likes being brushed. Unlike David. It’s been years, his fur mats like crazy, and he HATES being brushed. Currently, he has a bald spot because the only way I could get a big mat out was to take the clippers to it!

Since I was going to my mother’s today to do her errands, we went over what we missed picking up during our stock up trips, so see whether I’d be going to town, or to the nearest Walmart. The list had a few things on it that made going to Walmart worth the gas. My younger daughter ended up coming along, with a shopping list from her sister. My older daughter has had her annual pre-Christmas special for quick commissions and has been plowing her way through them for the past while.

I wanted to get to my mother’s early enough that we could get her list and be doing her shopping when her Meals on Wheels arrives, and she can have a peaceful lunch. Even with extra trips to the post office and pharmacy before doing her groceries, it was a really fast trip.

While at the grocery store, though, I spotted some sales and ended up asking my daughter to grab another cart for our own shopping, even though we were going to Walmart. Every now and then, this grocery store has prices better than any of the city stores on some things.

That done, we were back and my mother’s, just as she was finishing her Meals on Wheels. My daughter and I put her things away and did a few other things she needed. I was trying to be efficient about things, which came across as being in a hurry, which my mother wasn’t happy about. I’d told her we were doing to do our own errands after, so that we couldn’t have to make another trip, just to avoid driving as much as possible. She wasn’t happy about that, even though she did get it, as I explained it to her, but she started to grill me about if I had an appointment that we were rushing off to, and what was it we needed to do?

If I were asking her those same questions, she’d be telling me it was none of my business. 😄

I told her, we just needed to go to Walmart, but wanted to get it done earlier, so it wouldn’t be dark when we were driving home – and it gets dark really early right now! (Sunset today was 4:23pm).

Then she started asking if I could do her laundry (Friday is her laundry day, and I did just tell her we needed to do our own errands…). I told her I didn’t have time for it today, but my sister is supposed to be coming out this week, so maybe she could do it? My mother just sort of scoffed, so now I wonder what terrible laundry crime my sister committed. My mother had been very happy to tell me that my sister had done her laundry for her, in the past! My brother had come out this weekend and done stuff for her, including the sweeping, so there wasn’t much left for us to take care of, but she mentioned that she’d like someone to mop her floors some time before Christmas. So I ended up making a calendar date to come back on Friday to do her laundry and her floors, unless my sister manages to do them when she comes out before then. Unfortunately, while we’re supposed to be slightly milder over the next few days, we’re supposed to have a hard temperature drop, starting on Friday.

Yet, Tuesday, a week from now, we’re supposed to hit a high of 1C/34F!! That’s in the 10 day forecast. In the monthly forecast, it says to expect a high of 3C/37F. Christmas day is now expected to be -2C/28F, then the next two days are supposed to be 0C/32F!

That’s in between expected highs down to -22C/-8F and expected overnight lows down to -32C/-27F.

Those sorts of temperature swings will absolutely destroy our roads.

We’ll see what actually happens.

Overall, the visit with my mother went well, and she seemed actually happy to see my daughter. No snarky comments about her PCOS beard, but instead complimented her on her beautiful and very curly hair. She definitely takes after her dad when it comes to hair!

From there, we made a quick stop for gas – prices have dropped to $1.149 right now – then headed to the nearer city and their little Walmart. At first, the reduced visibility in the distance was fog, but it wasn’t long before it turned into snow. I’m really glad we headed out when we did. By the time we finished our errands and had loaded up the truck, I caught an update on the weather group I follow. Parts of the TransCanada highway had just been shut down. As we were driving home, the visibility from blowing snow got really bad at times. Thankfully, we seemed to have driven through the system before the final stretch home. Taking advantage of going to my mother’s today means we don’t need to make any other trips for some time, other than my newly scheduled trip to my mother’s on Friday.

Looking at the weather radar after I got home, I could see the huge system that is sweeping across Canada and the US. The US seems to be getting the brunt of the system, though as I check again, things seem to have already improved – most of the swaths that were listed as “extreme conditions” are now mostly “severe” and “moderate” for snow. The bulk of the system looks like it’s missing us entirely, so what we’re getting now, and through tomorrow, is just the blustery edges of it.

With the extra errands for ourselves after doing my mother’s errands, we were gone several hours longer than typical. Which means that I haven’t even started my next garden analysis post. This morning’s post took hours of going back over old blog posts, photos and videos, and remembering how things did. I’m pretty tired and will probably head to bed early, and save working on the next one for tomorrow instead of tonight. I had a very interrupted night night, and am just too foggy to try and analyze anything right now. It’s just past 6pm as I write this, and I’m already fighting the urge to go to bed right now!

So, there will be a break in my garden analysis series.

Until then, I hope you all have a good and restful night!

The Re-Farmer

Yard cats and how much does that cost???

Today was my day to go to my mother’s to do her grocery shopping, but first, I headed out for my morning rounds and yard cat feeding.

I counted 26 or 27 this morning. In this picture, a well fed group is under the higher wattage heat bulb. When I did the evening feeding, I noticed none where hanging out under the lower wattage heat bulb, which is closer to the floor. I checked it and there was no heat coming off of it. It was plugged in, the switch was on but, nothing.

No. It wasn’t burned out.

Somehow, it was unscrewed, just enough to cut power to the bulb! The heat cover was also loose from its threads. I’m not sure how the cats manage to do this!

I headed to my mother’s earlier than usual, as I wanted to get her grocery shopping done before the home care aid arrived for her lunch assist. When I got there, she had actually started some vegetables cooking on her own. She does things in stages, so she can sit down frequently.

After double checking and modifying her list that we put together when I was there on Saturday, I headed out. There wasn’t much on it, so I was done quickly. Fast enough that I took the time to stop at a little department store along the way. I know my mother won’t be able to do a Christmas tree, and very little decorating, if any, so I wanted to get her something festive. I ended up finding a little tree set, complete with a string of lights, small enough to sit on her dining table. Then, spur of the moment, I got her a Hickory Farms set with a sausage, crackers, cheese and mustard.

When I got them out and showed them to her, making sure she knew that these were gifts from me, not something I got with her grocery money (because that would have been her first thought), she got all angry with me for getting her gifts. Especially the Hickory Farms pack. With that one, I opened the box and showed her what was in it, and saying it was something to go with her tea, if she wants, or to bring out if she has company. She was still angry with me.

Which is what I expected, really. My mother has never known how to accept gifts graciously, that I can remember. I know that she will eventually enjoy them, but will likely never admit it. At least not to me!

As I was putting her groceries away, the home care lunch assist worker arrived. Since I was there anyhow, she didn’t stay and I took care of making my mother’s lunch for her, and finishing off what she had started cooking, doing all her dishes, etc. At one point, she asked me to look for something in her cupboards (we never found it), but she has a bunch of stuff that she would like to take. These are things she brought from here at the farm – glasses, bowls, etc. – but had never used. They are, however, vintage things that we would actually keep and use. Especially my younger daughter, who really appreciates such things. They are fragile and just out of my reach, though, and we decided today was not a day to drag out the stool and start taking them down. Mostly, she’s just happy to know that they are claimed and won’t end up disposed of in some way.

I wasn’t in any hurry to leave today, as my husband messaged me to let me know there was a parcel to pick up. The post office was almost closed for 2 1/2 hours over the lunch period. Which meant I had time to do all my mother’s dishes, make room in her fridge, and prep containers of food to cool down before they would go into the fridge.

I did remember to go through my mother’s lock box. I knew there would be one bubble pack with her Sunday bedtime meds still in it. Those turned out to be the only ones in the pack. Another pack had only a Monday morning bubble with meds in it. I took both out and set them into a pill organizer she has, so the packs could be thrown away, and left a note in the lock box for the next med assist person. My mother will be getting her refills soon (which the pharmacy will no longer deliver to her, at my request; I will pick them up), so the lock box was going to need the space.

For some reason, the home care aids keep locking more and more of my mother’s pens into the lock box. They have a form to fill out, with each med assist. There should be one pen with their folder. Instead, it seems they use a pen from her table, then lock it up into the box. I’m guessing the pens fall to the bottom while the next care aid moves it to unlock it, so they don’t see it and grab another one… which gets locked into the lock box. There was one time I wanted to make my mother’s shopping list, but couldn’t find any of my mother’s pens in the container she has for them on her table. On a hunch, I went into the lock box. I found six pens in there!

While doing my mother’s shopping, I noticed some very good sales at the grocery store, so after I was finished at my mother’s, I went back to do a bit of shopping of my own. I actually bought beef today! They had a sale on tri tip that was at $6.99 a pound. That’s lower than ground beef is right now. I got a few other things, as well.

I did NOT get chocolate chips, though.

*gasp*

Good grief!!!

I was at Costco, yesterday, and their Kirkland brand chocolate chips were over $30 for a 2kg/4.4lbs bag. What gets me is not only how much more expensive the Kirkland branch chocolate chips are here, but that they are more expensive than the name brand chocolate chips – both are semi-sweet – in a 2.4kg/5.3lb bag.

I recall, two or three years ago, that there were predictions of the price of chocolate going up, due to things like weather damage, pests and disease. Add in everything else involved in production and processing going up and adding to the price, it’s really gotten insane. It takes a few years for the increase in prices of cocoa beans (they tripled) to affect retail prices, but now I’m seeing that there is a recovery and supply is increasing. Prices might start to ease a few months from now, though probably not by much. The beans may not be as expensive, but all the other costs are still going up.

That done, I still had time before the post office reopened, even with how long the drive it, so I ended up going to the local Chinese restaurant for a late lunch.

The store the post office is in is an old style general store that includes a liquor section, right next to the post office window. As I was waiting for my parcel, I started looking at the nearest display and spotted a new wine, with the label stating it was from our province. The postal clerk saw me looking and told me that the wine is actually produced locally. As in, just off the highway that runs through our little hamlet! There was a semi-sweet and a ginger and lemon, both sparkling white wines.

I ended up getting a bottle of ginger and lemon. It only cost $20. Technically, my mother bought it, since she gave me $20 in cash for gas. 😂😂 (It costs almost $30 a trip to go to her place, with the current local prices.)

I’m now debating: do we taste test it now, or save it for Christmas? 😁

With the extra stuff, I sent a message home and my younger daughter was sweet enough to come out and open the gate for me, then help bring the bags to the house. It was a bit early but, once everything was in and I still had my boots on, I took care of feeding and watering the outside cats, and doing my evening rounds, while my daughter put stuff away.

Then, opened up our parcel and go it set up, but I will write a review on that in my next post!

See you there…

The Re-Farmer

What a day – but I managed to get some stuff done!

Gosh, my mother can make it so hard to help her with things.

I was up way earlier than intended (thanks, cats. *sigh*) but at least it was light out when I headed out to feed the cats and do short rounds.

The isolation cats seem to be enjoying their cozy shelter, though there is evidence that Pinky has been trying to get out. She’s somehow pushing one of the ceiling insulation sheets out one side, as she digs at the other. I know it’s her, because the kittens are too small to reach.

From the muddy hand prints outside the front window, raccoons have been interested in getting in, while Pinky is wanting out! She’s doing so well, we probably could let her out and she’d be fine, though that shaved belly would sure get cold!

Once the morning stuff was done, I had just enough time to grab a breakfast before heading to my mother’s. I got there just after 9am, and her scheduled med/etc. assist is 9:15, so that worked out.

I put together a breakfast while she took her meds and, once she was all settled, I took care of other stuff, like emptying the commode and so on. Once everything was done, I took advantage of her empty sink to try and use the little sink plunger I got for her, to try and fix the slow drain.

I made a mistake with the plunger I chose. It would work with something like a bathroom sink, but not the kitchen sink. The plunger is a sort of accordion style, with a separate seal around the edge. The seal fit around the drain, but the plunger was just small enough that it would go into the drain, flipping the seal and eventually knocking it right off. I kept trying, as all sorts of material was being pulled up into the water.

But the slow drain was now no drain at all. Whatever I moved around down there, it resulted in a total blockage.

Well, my mother had drain cleaner on her list anyhow! So I left it for the moment, hoping the water would slowly drain while I was running her errands.

My first stop was at the pharmacy, and that’s where she wanted me to pick up some Drano. Except they didn’t have any. I eventually found a house brand and got that. Then I did her grocery shopping before heading back.

The was no change in the water level at all.

After everything was put away, I tried adding the drain cleaner. The instructions said to pour down half a bottle. Normally, the heavier gel would sink through the water and into the drain.

It didn’t.

I could actually see, with the debris, as the gel swooped outwards from where I was pouring it directly over the drain.

My mother, meanwhile, was a continuous stream of instructions on what I should be doing, what she would be doing, and I needed to do things the way she would be doing it – even though she couldn’t see what was actually going on. I had mentioned the debris coming up and she starting telling me to use a paper towel to wipe it up, even though I also told her the water as not draining. Not sure what a paper towel was going to do!

I left it for a while. That little plunger wasn’t going to do anything, and I had my doubts about the no-name drain cleaner. I decided I’d leave it to sit and went to the hardware store.

That confused my mother, and she kept asking about being able to use the sink, while I kept telling her, don’t use the sink!

At the hardware store, I found an employee, hoping they would have a better sink plunger. All the had were full sized ones, so I did end up picking a very basic one designed to clear floor drains and tubs. Then I asked about drain cleaner and he took me right to a Drano produce specifically designed for kitchen sinks. It was a granular product, rather than a gel. I’d never actually seen a granular version before. Good to know about.

Products acquired, I headed back to my mother’s

None of the water had drained at all.

So I tried the new plunger, which did actually work better, in that it didn’t fall apart and seem to be pulling more debris out of the drain.

Nothing was getting through, though.

Except, now there was water on the floor.

I checked under the sink, and there was water. I started emptying all the stuff my mother’s been shoving under there so I could clean mop everything up.

My mother had been in the bathroom, and it was about this time that she came out. I told her the clog was far worth than we originally though, and that there was now a leak. I had read the instructions on the new drain cleaner, which included removing any water in the sink. I’d found and filled a couple of small buckets and was trying to get as much out of the drain, explaining to my mother what was going on as I did. Normally, she would settle herself at her table, but I asked her if she could sit in the living room, so I could get through to the bathroom with the buckets.

So began the litany of all the things I should be doing, rather than what I was doing right then, while standing and blocking my way out of the kitchen! Including demanding I call the maintenance number. She did finally move so I could dump out the buckets into the toilet. Then I started taking things out from under her sink, so that I could clean up the water, but no, she wanted me to call the maintenance number right then. I told her I would do it after cleaning up the water, and she finally stopped demanding I drop everything and do what she was ordering me to do.

Once things were cleaned up and as out of the way as possible, I called the maintenance number. My mother has three fridge magnets with the direct number, so at least that was easy to find!

Of course, it went right to hold. I ended up putting it on speaker, so I could monitor it while updating my family and my siblings on my cell phone.

Then Meals on Wheels arrived, so we traded places, and I waited in the living room while she had her lunch. The woman delivering it normally would have stopped to chat a bit, but between my with the hold music going and the open cupboard doors and a bucket under the kitchen sink, she very quickly disappeared! 😄

The hold music would stop every now and then as an automated message gave the “we are experiencing more calls than usual…” spiel. My mother started asking what the lady had said, not realizing it was a recorded message. Then, when it came on again some minutes later, she started making disparaging remarks. When her food arrived, she ordered me to hang up and make myself lunch. I refused. That happened several times over. After a while, it was clear the hold music was somehow bothering her in a way that seemed out of place. I offered to take it off speaker, but I would then have to hold the phone to my ear constantly, and she finally stopped.

When someone picked up the call, I took it off speaker phone and and spent some time explaining the situation. Once he had all the info, he said someone would be sent over to fix it. I asked how long it would be, since my mother could no longer use her kitchen sink.

They would try to get in within three days. If not, it could be a week.

!!!!!!!

That’s when I brought up the product I bought and asked if it was okay to go ahead and try that. I didn’t want to use something stronger like that, without checking first. If nothing else, it would at least let the plumber know it was there and take precautions. I was told they were okay with such self maintenance and to go ahead and use it.

So it was back to going over the instructions again (with plenty of commentary from my mother, who has never used any product like this in her life). I’d had to use a paper towel to sop up as much water out of the drain as possible, since my mother didn’t have any sponges. The instructions were to add 3 tbsp down the drain, being careful not to add more than that, followed immediately with 2 cups of hot, but not boiling, water.

The clog is so bad, those two cups couldn’t go down the drain at all.

The instructions said to wait 15 minutes and, if it was still blocked, to try again. I set a timer and made myself sit down, so I wouldn’t be hovering. My mother, meanwhile, was set up at her dining table again, which meant I had to squeeze between her and the wall behind her, over and over again. She wouldn’t move. Not even to slide her chair forward a couple of inches! When I checked again after 15 minutes, there was no change in the water level. I still did a second treatment, but that just added more water to the bottom of the sink! At least the granules sank through the water and into the drain, though.

My mother, meanwhile, was getting herself quite worked up and kept on with how she would have done things. She would have called the main office number, not the maintenance number – as if that wouldn’t have gone on hold (I’ve called that number a few times. It either goes straight to hold, or to voice mail. A live person almost never answers). They would then transfer her…

… to the maintenance number I’d called directly.

As for being on hold, she would hang up and call back. Or she would start pressing buttons. It took me a moment to realize she meant she would start button mashing on her phone, because she was on hold.

I tried to explain to her that, at the other end, they can’t hear the old music, nor would they hear any button pushing.

She then accused me of “always taking “their” side.”

It turns out that my mother believes that, at the other end, there are people listening to the same hold music and simply not answering because they don’t feel like it. She based this on a story she told me, in a very circular way, of how she actually saw someone doing that at a clinic while she was in the waiting room. Except I thought she was at first describing that a radio was playing, but it was the “same” music as the old music. I tried to tell her, that’s just not possible. When you’re on hold, the people on the other end can’t hear the same things.

It wasn’t until much later that I realized that the person she was describing as ignoring a call on hold may actually have been the one on hold, with the phone on speaker so she could monitor it and keep working at the same time. If that really was hold music my mother was hearing in the first place.

At one point, I’d left with my mother’s Meals on Wheels tray to set it in the common room, and noticed a sign up sheet for a potluck and game night on the table. I assumed it was some sort of sport ball event on TV. I mentioned it when I got back and my mother and she told me it was being organized by someone who fairly recently moved into the building. She’s taken to organizing things and is very bossy…

Somehow, this got mixed in with being put on hold for so long.

Then my mother started talking about all these things going missing from the common room – an ancient computer that no one was using, a piano that was donated that is now gone, and there’s another piano there now, and the TV that was mounted to the wall in the common room that no one watched, so of course, this potluck was going to be table games, not a game on TV.

I never even noticed it was gone.

I eventually realized that my mother believed that all these things have been stolen by this one person. She has zero proof of such a thing. That’s just what she believes. I suggested that maintenance probably took them. It’s not like someone can just walk away with a large screen tv that’s mounted to a wall.

The piano, though… she thinks someone stole the piano and replaced it with a different one.

Which is exactly the sort of thing my mother used to accuse my father of doing. I even brought up a few instances, reminding her of how she had me look at a sewing machine my sister had given me, but that I’d left here at the farm when I moved out of province (it’s still here), because she thought it was different. My dad had “traded” it. She’d done the same thing when we got a new TV, and even with a cow. All of these things were the same, but to her, they were different, and it was because my dad was “trading” things. Those were just examples that involved me directly, but she’d done the same with vehicles and entire herds of cows. She even called the RCMP once, claiming my dad and “traded” a bunch of cattle – and managed to do it without leaving any tracks in the snow of any kind.

That just set her off on how – for 50 years! – my dad had been doing all this stuff, and I just didn’t understand…

Then it went back to being on hold for so long, and how I should say it was urgent, and they listen to the tone of the voice to see how serious it is… I guess I was too calm on the phone? and everyone takes advantage of old people.

I told her, yes, it happens, but not everyone does that.

Yes. Everyone. Even you.

How am I taking advantage?

Because of how I talk to her (not agreeing with her wild accusations).

Then, as “icing” on the sh** cake, she basically said I was just like our vandal.

You know. The guy that’s been verbally abusing her and sponging money off of her for years. The guy that was stealing stuff from this property to the point that she asked us to move in, partially just to stop him from doing that. The guy that we had to get a restraining order on, and blames us for causing his cancer. The guy that shows up at her place randomly and yells at her. That guy.

Gee. Thanks, Mom.

By this time, I’d been at my mother’s for almost 3 and a half hours, the second treatment of the sink showed no signs of doing anything, and I was well past the time I should have left. My mother, meanwhile, was making herself upset because I bought the different drain cleaner and the plunger, and I should take those home, because she has so much stuff and doesn’t need them. I told her I would do that, but after her sink was fixed. However, from experience, I could see that it was because she didn’t want to pay me back for them, even though I had no intention of asking her to. She just assumes that’s what I expect, because that’s what she would expect if she were in my position. It’s also what our vandal would have done.

She’s much less subtle about it, as she gets older!

I had hoped to get the sink unplugged before I left. There were a lot of things I would have tried, if I were at home, but this is a government owned and run building, so I wasn’t going to do it there. I got the okay to try the specialty drain cleaner, and that was as far as I was going to go on that.

I did tell my mother I would call back later to ask, which I did shortly after her 5pm meal and med assist. No change in the water level in the sink.

After leaving my mother’s, I swung by the home care office. Which turned out to be empty at the reception area, and all the other doors were closed. Thankfully, one of the staff came in while I was reading various signs to figure out what I was supposed to do to get through to someone directly. She asked if I was there for an appointment, and I told her I wanted to pass on information to the home care workers about my mother. She recognized my mother’s name when I gave it, and I explained about the sink. The staff was going to have to use the bathroom sink until the kitchen sink was fixed, and I told her how long that might take. She just rolled her eyes in frustration when she heard how long it might be. This is not a new problem with provincial public housing buildings like my mother’s, apparently!

She assured me she would let the home care workers know, and I was soon on my way again. I needed to run some errands in the town nearer to us first. By the time I finished there and was heading home, it was late enough that the post office would be open again and I could pick up three parcels I was expecting.

There turned out to be four.

I ended up driving up to the house and my daughter helped me unload – and kept cats away from the truck, so I could park!

I had lost so much time that, once everything was taken care of and put away, I quickly changed and headed back outside to get as much done as I could while it was still light out.

One of the first jobs was to finish mulching the herb bed with leaves for the winter. Remarkably, the sage, thyme, oregano and lemon balm all survived that freezing rain we had, and we could probably still harvest from them, if we wanted! Time for them to go to sleep for the winter, though, and hopefully start growing again in the spring.

Another job was to finish trimming the materials I’d harvested for what will become deadwood walls for the chain link fence garden bed. I even remembered to take pictures before it got too dark.

The first picture is the pile of saplings and suckers, so far. The longest ones will be used for the front of the bed. The shorter ones will mostly be fitted between the fence posts, on top of the boards that are already there. With the boards, that side only needs to be a few inches taller. The longest pieces will be reserved to do the front wall, just inside where the bricks are now.

I’m going to need a lot more material.

In the second picture, you can see the log my daughter helped me drag out of the spruce grove. This will be part of a bed that will be two logs tall. It’s pretty small, so it will most likely be a top log. I’ll see what I’m able to harvest out of the spruce grove later, but bigger logs will be used on the bottom of the walls.

After the trimming, I worked on something for one of the parcels I got in the mail today.

The new solar powered security camera.

I was a bit taken aback by the packaging. It just says “battery powered” and nothing on the outside of the box suggests that there is a solar panel. For a moment, I thought maybe it was supposed to be ordered separately, but when I opened it, it was there. The second picture is of the contents.

This camera will be set up to monitor the isolation shelter, which means it will be attached to the big elm tree outside the kitchen window.

The cats love climbing that tree, which means the camera will need protecting.

I also want to be able to easily move the camera to other locations, as needed, such as when we can set up a trap to catch cats for spays.

Inspired by what my brother set up for the gate cam, I went looking through the scrap wood pile and built something to attach the camera to, which is what you can see in the last picture. I started off making the shelter, with a back to attach the camera to, and a roof.

I love my cheap garage sale miter saw!

The roof isn’t so much to keep the elements off the camera; it’s designed to be outdoors and doesn’t need a roof at all. Mostly, it’s to keep the cats off of it!

The camera cover is attached to a slightly longer board, and there are screws already in it, ready to attach it to the tree. I wish I’d found that board earlier, as it would have been much better wood to build the shelter part with!

When it’s time to move the camera, it’s just a matter of unscrewing the back piece from the tree. The solar panel will be attached to the other side of the tree somewhere, facing the sun. That, I am not sure how to set up and protect from the cats (or raccoons!), since it obviously can’t have a roof over it, and still get enough sunlight to power the camera.

After I took the picture, I brought it inside and added wood glue to where the roof comes in contact with other pieces, and the joins of the roof itself.

By the time that was finished, the light was fading fast and getting cold, so I quickly did the evening rounds and cat feeding, and headed in.

I managed to get a decent amount accomplished, given how little daylight I had left when I got home!

Today is most likely that last day of temperatures above freezing for the year, though the long range forecast has several odd days in December that are forecast to be just above freezing. That’s in between temperatures were we are supposed to have highs below -20C/-4C and lows dropping to -35C/-31F, so I really don’t think we’ll get that warm. We’re not even expecting snow until the 7th and 8th of December at this point, and even then it’s only 30% and 60% chance of snow.

Looking at the monthly forecast, apparently, we’ll be getting next to no snow at all this winter! That would actually not be good, as we really need the precipitation. Otherwise, we’re looking at another drought year, next year. Long range forecasts are not particularly reliable, though, so who knows.

For now, though, once the temperatures start dipping below freezing, there really isn’t a lot I’ll be able to keep doing outside.

It’s going to be hibernation time, soon!

Meanwhile, I’ll be going through the manual for the new camera, getting it charged up and hopefully it’ll be set up and working tomorrow.

I’m quite looking forward to testing it out tonight – before it gets attached to the little shelter I made for it!

Then.

Sleep.

I hope.

The Re-Farmer

All went really well… almost

I had considered taking advantage of what will likely be our last decently warm day of the year, but in the end, decided against it.

With how much I was able to get done last night, I made a point of taking a second dose of anti-inflammatories before bed. I can take them up to three times a day, but I’ve been typically taking them only once a day, and sometimes skipping that. Which means I’d be taking them with the stomach protecting medication, which is to be taken only once a day.

Well, I think taking more anti-inflammatories, even with a full meal, turned out to be a mistake. That stomach protector is supposed to be enough for a full day, but that didn’t seem to work out. Or perhaps I should be glad they worked as well as they did, or I’d have had a much rougher night!

Thankfully, my mother’s appointment for her MRI was in the evening. I was able to get the girls to do the morning routine so I could try and get more sleep. In between more trips to the bathroom.

At least it settled by the time I was starting to get ready to go to my mother’s. I was just winding things down, when I started hearing a rather terrible cat noise coming from my bed.

*sigh*

Butterscotch had herself a massive throw up that managed to get all my bedding except one pillow – and my pajamas! I recruited my daughter to help me change my bedding, and she was kind enough to start laundry after I left.

Before I headed out, though, we made sure to give the cats their evening feeding, so I could escape. 😁

I forgot something and had to pop back into the house, when my daughter and I spotted this…

What I was trying to do was get a picture of the mostly white kitten that was almost completely under Pinky’s belly! Then the little tuxedo photo bombed me.

I caught a tongue blehp.

Two of them, actually. Furriosa is also licking her (I’m pretty sure she’s a she) chops, but that bug eyed little tuxedo was just too adorable.

Earlier in the day, my brother and I had a chance to talk and plan things out in advance. We were both planning to get to my mother’s early, though my brother turned out to arrive before I even left home! By the time I arrived, my mother had had her supper and my brother had gotten her her meds. He also got her bed time meds into a container to take with us, in case things went really long.

I’d brought the things I’d picked up for my mother a little while ago. I’d found a sink plunger that she’d been asking for for quite some time. She had asked me to make her some knee warmers, but I picked up some leg warmers at the dollar store that I thought might work for her. When she saw them, she was quite happy and looked forward to trying them out tonight. Her knees get very cold at night!

I also picked up a note pad for her and her lists. She keeps writing on a tiny notebook, various envelopes or scraps of paper, so I found an in between size note pad that I hope she’ll actually use!

Which got her to talking about how we should pick up milk along the way, as she brought out her scrap of paper that she was using to make her shopping lists.

So I re-wrote her list, clarifying somethings, on the new note pad. Just to get her started!

Unfortunately, my mother’s place is very small and there was really know way for the three of us to sit together and talk, so we decided to leave early.

About an hour and a half early!

We got my mother into my brother’s car – she struggled even with that! – and then I took her walker back to her apartment. We were going to borrow a hospital wheelchair, instead.

So glad we did that!

When we got there, I quickly ran in to where they keep their loaner wheelchairs by the door then brought her in while my brother went to park his car. I was pretty sure I knew where to go, but we paused at the main desk to ask, anyhow. The MRI was just around the corner from where the CT scan is, and I’ve taken both my mother and my husband there a few times over the year. It was a bit of a walk, though, and my mother really would have struggled with the distance, using her walker.

The final doors to the MRI area had to be opened from the inside to let us in. As we got there, a woman saw us through the windows and came over, looking rather confused, asking if we were there for an MRI, because they were all about to go on break! I told her yes, but we were very early. We fully expected to wait. She asked if we had any paperwork, and I got out the form that came with my mother’s appointment letter, with all the questions they ask about past history, and whether there were any metal objects to worry about. She left with that and I started getting my mother settled in the waiting room.

The woman came back very quickly and said they would take her in right away, rather than make her wait until after their break!

My brother hadn’t even caught up with us yet, as we started getting my mother ready to head in. She ended up bringing my mother a different wheelchair to transfer her into, which is when she spotted my brother at the doors and let him on. Between us, was got my mother all settled – after bagging up her dentures and collecting her life line pendant and glasses. Soon, my mother was wheeled off and my brother and I settled into the waiting room.

The MRI scan took all of 12 minutes, and they were wheeling her back!

Her doctor should get the results in about a week, so we’ll need to follow up on that. The results need to be sent from the doctor to Home Care, as it’s needed for their panel to get my mother into a nursing home.

It was just past 6 as we were getting my mother ready to leave. We were supposed to arrive for 6:30, with the scan being booked for 7.

As we were getting her ready to go, my mother started asking about what the MRI was for. More specifically, of what benefit was it to her to get it. Of course, the staff didn’t know that it was part of getting my mother into a nursing home, but the woman helping us tactfully said it was because the doctor wanted to see about memory loss. When I reminded my mother that it was about getting her into the nursing home, the worker corroborated that. Then she asked, why was the appointment so late. The lady explained that they have a year long waiting list, so they keep doing these scans all the way to midnight, every day, to try and get them done. To which my brother pointed out, my mother is very lucky to have gotten this appointment!

From there, we headed off. This time, my mother had an even harder time getting into the car, even crying out in pain. It’s her knees that are really giving her grief. If she were 20 or 30 years younger, they’d probably recommend she get replacement knee surgery, but at her age, the risks are too great.

The drive back was uneventful, which is always good this time of year. Not a deer in sight! My brother was very happy that we got back to my mother’s so early, as he still had almost an hour to drive home. He would get home at a decent hour to get some sleep before going to work tomorrow!

I stayed a bit longer. My mother had only had oatmeal for her supper and she was getting hungry, so I helped her out with making some tea and a snack. It was still way too early for her to take her evening meds, but they were set out for her in her tiny bowl for them.

My mother did started to suggest that I could just leave her morning meds out, so that I wouldn’t have to come back in the morning, but I told her I needed to come out again, anyhow. I could do her med assist, and all the other stuff she needs help with in the mornings, from putting a breakfast together for her, to emptying her commode, etc. Then I would be doing her shopping. So there was no need to set her morning meds out in advance.

Through all this, my mother was on some of her better behaviour, with only a few nasty digs aimed at my brother, and only some relatively minor side tracks into ranting about things. Often two or three different things all mashed together. To her, they’re connected, but they’re not.

My mother really does view people in the worst possible light. All people, but mostly people who aren’t white.

Today, though, it barely registered. Since we used the wheelchair instead of her walker, she wasn’t tired out, either.

Hopefully, this will get her more likely to start using my late father’s wheelchair that I brought for her over a month ago. It’s still sitting in her living room and, as far as I know, she still refuses to sit on it. She wanted us to buy her a new wheelchair, but won’t try this one out to see if she can even handle one, without someone to push her.

I didn’t stay too much longer, as I was going to be back in the morning, so I headed home. I’m happy to say I did NOT hit that suicidal deer that ran alongside me before deciding to run right in front of the truck! By this point, I was on the last couple of miles of gravel road, and already driving quite a bit slower than typical, so there was very little risk of an actual collision, unless the deer decided to run right into me. Which happens. Quite a few years back, while my husband was driving home from the city after work, he got hit by a deer. It actually ran into him. He managed to get home, but that was it for that car. It was totaled!

At least by the time I’m heading to my mother’s, tomorrow morning, it’ll be light out.

While all that was going on, I made sure to keep the family updated, which is when I saw a message from my daughter. She was washing my bedding and the first load went fine, until the very end, when it didn’t sing the victory music the washing machine sounds out when a load is done. She started the next load and everything seems to be working fine, but there’s no sound. All the beeps and tones it normally gives off as we adjust the settings are just gone.

When I got home, the laundry was still going, but I ended up with a third load. Yeah, I came home to another cat mess in the middle of the fresh blanket! At least this time, it was just the blanket that needed changing.

It is downright weird to set up a new load and the washing machine is completely silent! The only way I could tell it was set was from the sound of the lid being automatically locked.

I don’t know if it’s even worth getting it fixed. It’s working fine, otherwise.

Well, we’ll see.

For now, I need to get myself to bed, because it’s going to be a long day tomorrow. Hopefully, my mother will be still be on good behaviour!

The Re-Farmer