That is Lady Hypotenose, in the wee hours of the night, tending her now five kittens! I saw them on the camera earlier, swirling around her like a vortex, except the new baby, who was hunting nip. I look a couple of minute later and there she was with three of her babies (the fourth one ran out of frame), and her newly adopted baby, nursing them all in the middle of the sun room.
What a good mama!
When I went to feed them this morning, they were all over the place, but when I came back after finishing my rounds, they were all gone! Every one of them! I couldn’t see them anywhere in the sun room!
I went out to check the cat house and various other spots, but nothing.
Then I came back to the sun room and found a single kitten, going for the food. I had no idea where it came from.
So I went into the old kitchen and watched through the door with the missing screen, and spotted a kitten squeeze its way out from under the counter shelf.
*phew* What a relief! I was afraid Lady Hypotenose changed her mind about keeping her kittens in the sun room!
After that, I had a bit of time before I needed to head out to my mother’s, to take her for her doctor’s appointment. She really struggled to use the stool and get into the truck but, unfortunately, this was not an appointment that could be done over the phone.
We were able to go through a whole bunch of things during the appointment, from going over the results of her various blood tests (all is fine), talking about her leg swelling with a dosage change and confirming that yes, she has toe fungus, and getting a prescription for that. My mother brought up her frequent complaint about dry mouth, that happens only when she’s sleeping. I’ve been telling her, she’s probably sleeping with her mouth open. I get it, too, sometimes. So when the doctor asked some questions and came to the same conclusion, my mother was right ticked off!
I think the doctor was ticked off, too – or at least shocked – but not at my mother. I brought up the referral for another mental health assessment, since it’s been more than a year, and home care needs it for paneling my mother for a nursing home. The doctor looked up the last penal report and was shocked it wasn’t enough. She wrote a referral for the assessment, but also wrote a letter to the home care coordinator (I’m glad I keep her business card in my phone case, because she needed the contact information!). I brought up that my mother really shouldn’t be living alone, and my mother added that she is having more trouble moving around and has to lean on furniture to get around he apartment.
I think the case coordinator is going to get a rather brusk letter about my mother’s conditions, and that she needs to be in care.
There were a few other things, some of which I had to explain to my mother as I brought her home. Normally, we would have stopped for lunch or something after the appointment, since we were on the road at lunch time, but with the changes in her prescription, I needed to get her bubble packs to the pharmacy.
My mother was so tired, she actually started to fall asleep during the drive!
Once I got her home, I went through the lock box and took some bubble packs out, leaving the new one that just got started today. My mom will stick to the same dose until that pack is done.
I also found a message from my daughter. The pharmacy had already called me on the land line, wanting to talk to me about my mother’s prescriptions! When I got there, I joked with the pharmacist that they are FAST! They were calling before I even got my mother home, yet!
They took the bubble packs to adjust them, but the new prescription for my mother’s toes as another issue. I was warned right away that it was expensive, while she looked up if it was covered by our province’s prescription insurance.
It wasn’t.
My mother had given me cash, and asked me to get some more Voltaren as well, since she’s using it on both her knees and her back now. Between that and the new prescription, it wasn’t enough, so I paid the balance.
When I got back to my mom’s and went over everything with her, and told her I’d covered about $50, she was furious. This little bottle was $50? she said, as she threw it across the table. No, it cost over $120. The $50 or so was what I covered.
Cue much ranting and raving about how it’s just toes, she didn’t need it, she didn’t want it.
She had been quite happy to get the prescription when we left the doctor’s, but I guess she expected it to be free, just like she did with the inhaler when I covered that for her, too.
It took a while to calm her down and give her the instructions on how to use it.
I suspect she will refuse to use it.
After all that, I was more than happy to leave. I still had my own errands to run at Walmart, since I was out, anyhow.
It had been raining off and on all day, and I even got warnings from home that it was pouring buckets. It wasn’t that heavy where I was, though, so the drive to the Walmart wasn’t too bad. I’m just happy to have the rain. We need it so badly!
Once I got to the Walmart, I could finally have my own lunch, too!
I didn’t have a large list, but it was enough to make the drive to Walmart worth it. Especially when it came to the cat food.
This is what $178.63 looks like.
Yeah. Not much there at all.
The most expensive items were the two bags of kibble, plus a case of wet cat food. I also got a box of pet stain/odour remover, to cat supplies alone were in the $100 range.
My husband requested water flavours, but they had only one flavour of his preferred type/brand, so he got three different types. I also grabbed more distilled water for his CPAP humidifier. He still has a good supply, but it’s a lot cheaper at Walmart, so I got extra.
There’s some coffee creamer for the girls, some cleaning vinegar and facial tissues, some powdered chicken bouillon, and some rye bread. They had an excellent price on corn on the cob, so I picked up a bunch.
And that’s it. That was almost $200
Ouch.
By the time I was heading home, it was late enough in the day that I asked my daughter to feed the outside cats. She tells me that all the kittens, except the two garage kittens, came to the house to eat, and she even got to pet some of the new littles! I’m glad because, by the time I was bringing in more cat food through the sun room, they were almost all hiding again.
The system that gave us all that wonderful rain today has passed us by and it seems like the main body of it will go right over where the huge fire across the lake is. Even with the rain, the air was still smoky. We might get a bit more rain tonight, but just barely.
I actually don’t have any appointments or planned errands for the next couple of weeks! I’m amazed. It’s been so long. Of course, there will be the usual unplanned stuff – trips to the dump, any new calls to cover my mother’s med assists for home care, stuff like that – but I’m otherwise actually going to be able to stay home for the next while!
What an amazing thing. I might actually get some progress done on various projects that had to be set aside!
In the first photo of the above slide show, you can see more of the Sub Arctic Plenty tomatoes are ripening. There are more than what’s visible in the frame of the photo.
The second photo is of some wonderful new leaves coming up on the Opal plum, recovering from what the deer ate.
Last of all is a developing pumpkin. Sir Robin was happy to pose for size reference. 😄
We apparently had rain not long before I went out this morning, so no garden watering needed. In the evening, though, I did water the things that need it the most; the winter and summer squash! I did the melons, to, even though I really don’t see any chance of them growing. Some are blooming, though, so you never know!
Late this morning, I headed out to meet my brother, SIL and their grandkids for a surprise lunch with my mother. That turned out not at all as planned, but it worked out in the end. I brought along several take out containers of the turkey and vegetable soup I made in the slow cooker yesterday (I had it for my breakfast, too) for her freezer. During lunch, I ordered a 3 pc chicken and fries, then packed up most of the fries and the biggest piece of chicken for my mom to have for supper. Between two very active young boys and having to distract my mother when she started to go into one of her odd tirades, we were all very exhausted by the time lunch was done! The boys did really well, considering how many hours they’d spent in a car. My mother wanted them to go to her place, which was not an option. It’s soo small and too full of things rambunctious children could get into and hurt themselves or destroy. They ended up going for a walk with my SIL when we were done, while my brother focused on getting my mother home and I went ahead with their stuff along with what I brought for her. I had time to get the meals I brought into the freezer, and left the restaurant food on the counter to cool, then get to the side door and open it before they had to fight with keys. My mother can get in and out of my brother’s car without a stool, so he could park closer to the side door she prefers to use.
We both had to head out as soon as she was settled in. By the time we got out, my SIL was almost there with the boys. We’d talked about them coming her to the farm afterwards, but that went out the window. They’ll be coming out next weekend and staying overnight in their new abode, so we’ll get to visit with them and the boys soon.
As we were settling her in, my mother made a point of telling us not to make “surprises” like this for her anymore. Which we really can’t do. If we plan this stuff and tell her in advance, she works herself up and behaves even worse – downright cruel, in fact – than if she doesn’t know about it, first.
At least my brother was able to get a visit in, and she got to see her great grandsons. Of course, all she cared was to lecture them about making sure to take them to church. This was the time! When they’re young! Of course, they had just gone to church with her earlier (which was not planned). My SIL had to repeatedly tell her, they don’t live with us. It’s not up to us. They don’t live with us.
I was sitting next to my mother and repeated to her with slightly different working, that they don’t live here.
Well, where do they live, then? she asked.
…
Uhm… with their parents?
That one really threw us. It seems that my mother somehow decided that the boys being with my brother and his wife today meant that they… have moved in with them? Or she forgot that they live with their parents in a different province?
Something to bring up with the home care case coordinator, that’s for sure.
It was really good to see the boys, though. I haven’t seen the younger grandson since he was a babe in arms, still.
We also got some surprises at home today. Kitten surprises! That will get its own post, though.
First up, today has been the smokiest day we’ve had yet, and it hasn’t let up. It’s absolutely insane out there. It was also really hot and muggy, right from the get-go. We did get rain last night – enough to fill the rain barrel from half full, at least – but you’d never know it other than from the odd puddle in areas heavy with clay.
Just a handful of bush beans. Barely. The purple pods are from two of the three surviving Royal Burgundy plants. The one that got et by a deer is still recovering.
When I first headed out with the kibble, I was very happy to see that one of the feral kittens – the white and grey one – was INSIDE the sun room! All four of them, plus their mom, were near the house and shelters, and they even started eating from the trays by the house instead of running away to the shrine feeding station. Huge progress there! The garage kittens are still keeping their distance, though.
As I was doing my rounds, I spotted the four ferals again, on my late father’s car.
I had to zoom in from quite a distance. The faces on the white and grey and the calico as they stared at me… too funny! That white and grey has a very interesting shape to its face. I noticed fluffy Colby tends to be on his own, away from his siblings, more often than not.
My rounds done, I brought out my late father’s wheelchair that my daughter had dug out of storage for me. I took the plastic cover off and cleaned off the dust and cobwebs. I was going to lubricate it, too, but couldn’t find my cans anywhere. So I did as much as I could, then loaded it into the truck.
When I got back in, I found the girls were busily cooking as much as they could, before the power was to be shut off at 9am. I left them to it and called my mother to let her know I would be bringing the wheelchair over for her to try out, as we had discussed.
I have to admit, I was really angry at my mother by the end of the call.
She started off with saying, why so soon? I reminded her of our conversation. Then she kept throwing up more excuses, one after the other, about why I shouldn’t be bringing the wheelchair over. She wanted us to talk about it. I explained again, we need to know if she can handle a manual chair or not so we have something to discuss. At point point, she even tried to say that she only wanted it for if she fell down. As in, it would help her get up?? It made no sense.
Long story short: What she had really wanted was for my siblings and I to have some sort of meeting to talk about her wanting a wheelchair and what to get her. However, even that broke down to, she wants my brother to be doing it. She wants him to be at her beck and call at all times. She’s becoming increasingly obsessed with trying to control him and especially to get him away from his wife. Both of whom have never been anything but beyond kind to her.
When it became clear what she was really after, and she was starting to go on about, why doesn’t he call her, I told her flat out that she treats him like s***. Oh, and how does he treat me, she responded.
Like a queen, I told her. Of all of us, he treats her the best. No one treats her better than he does. And she hates him for it.
Yes, I used those exact words.
It blows me away, how her mind has become so twisted when it comes to my brother. We have a theory. As my brother ages, he’s looking more and more like our dad, so she’s treating him like she treated my late father. Which was not good. Our vandal has been abusive towards her for years, and she goes out of her way to defend him, but my brother helped her so much for so many years, making sacrifices, giving so much of himself to her, and she constantly stabs him in the back and makes more demands of him. Nothing he does is ever good enough.
When it comes to how my mother treats me, I don’t care. It took me many years of healing to get to this point. She can’t hurt me anymore. But she can, and does, hurt my brother, and that angers me.
I cut that conversation off and simply told her, I was coming over with the wheelchair for her to try. If she didn’t like it, I could take it back, but we needed to know if she could actually use it.
By the time I was on the road, it was not much past 8:30am. As I was turning onto the main gravel road, I could already see an electric company vehicle about a quarter mile up, parked across from our side of the road. I had to wait for another huge company vehicle to go by before I could continue. In the couple of miles to the highway, I passed a convoy of electric company vehicles, of all shapes and sizes, going the other when. The junction at the highway as a transformer station next to an off ramp, and there was practically an army of more company vehicles and staff milling about!
These folks were loaded for bear!
Later on, I got a message from my daughter. The power went off at 9am, on the nose.
I got to my mother’s shortly after 9. One of her neighbours happened to be by the main doors and was kind enough to open them for me as I brought in the wheelchair, and we chatted along the way. She, too, commented that it’s unlikely my mother has the arm strength to use it.
When I had called my mother, she was eating breakfast, so I was surprised to find she had gone back to bed. She started off saying that the home care aids hadn’t shown up to do her meds yet, but she was scheduled for 9:30, so it was still going to be a while. I had to move things around to make space for the wheelchair while my mother sat on her bed. She said she was really tired and ended up lying down again. I reminded her that this was for her to try out and see. Her apartment is not wheelchair friendly. If she did get a wheelchair, we would have to remove several pieces of furniture, at least, for her to be able to get around. I actually sat in it myself and tried moving around, and it’s incredibly easy to move. However, I’m not almost 94 years old with hardly any arm strength left.
In the end, I was done and heading out with still another 15 minutes before the aid was expected to arrive! My mother was like a completely different person than how she was on the phone.
Since I was in town anyhow, I decided to go to the home care office and see if I could talk to the case coordinator. There were things I wanted to update her on, in regards to the long term care panel. This morning’s phone call being a big one. Thankfully, she was in and able to take the time to see me.
I filled her in on some of the behavioral and cognitive changes I’ve been seeing. She was very surprised when I told her I’d just dropped off a wheelchair. The home care aids hadn’t noticed any changes in my mother’s mobility. They wouldn’t, though. They’re only there for 5 minutes, and my mother is usually sitting at her table, waiting for them.
I was happy to hear that there have been no complains about how my mother treats the home care aids, after a particular racist incident some time ago. I told her, my siblings and I had all had a talk with her about that, and that this sort of behavior would go against her being able to get into a nursing home, like she wants. So far, it seems to have worked!
My mother has an appointment with her doctor next week, so she suggested I ask the doctor for another mental health assessment. It’s been over a year since her last one, and some cognitive delay was noted, but not “enough” to get her into a nursing home. I brought up that I think her vision is also getting worse, but getting her into the special clinic in the city for treatment is just too much for her.
We did both agree that, with all the stuff she’s going going on, my mother is doing really amazing for someone who’s almost 94! Between her messed up knees, her feet, her hands, her vision, etc. the fact that she’s still doing as well as she is is amazing. Which, unfortunately, is the problem. She doing too “well”.
It’s so bizarre that we have someone that actually recognizes she needs to be in long term care, and actually WANTS to be in a nursing home, and they can’t approve her because she hasn’t fallen and broken a hip or something. So frustrating!
That done, I took advantage of being in town to pick up a few things at the grocery store, then another 40 pound bag of kibble at the feed store before heading home. In the last mile before our place, I was seeing guys up one of the power poles, but only one company vehicle on the road, well past our place.
As we were expecting a prescription delivery, plus my brother and SIL coming out with their new “house”, so I had left the gate open when I left for my mother’s. Much to all of our surprise, the power came back on just before 11:30, instead of the scheduled 2pm! That army of workers really got things done fast!
The phone rang almost immediately. It was the delivery driver letting us know we was almost at our place; something we’ve asked him to do, since we usually keep the gate locked. So I headed out to meet him, only to find an electric company truck driving in! They drove up to the main power pole, then reversed their way out the driveway again. As they were passing me, I let them know that there was a delivery about to arrive, just so they’d know a vehicle was on the way. They had just enough time to go to the driveway in the unoccupied property across from us when the delivery driver arrived.
That done and my husband newly supplied with medications, I got my computer going and started checking the trail cam files. For the gate cam, which also takes video, I’ve got a 32 gig card. For the sign cam, which is set to take only still shots, I have a 16 gig card.
I uploaded the sign cam first, then started on the other, only to discover the second card was empty.
It was also a 16 gig card.
I’d put the wrong card into the sign cam!
So, off I went to switch the cards to the right ones, then uploaded the files from the 13 gig card, transferring any new files from the sign cam into the appropriate folder, and started checking them. Which is when I realized that the electric company people had come to the closed gate several times yesterday, with someone climbing over the gate to get in to check the power pole in our yard.
Then I checked the new sign cam files, which were recorded after I made the mistake in switching them out this morning.
What I discovered was a whole bunch of files of our vandal on his ATV, going back and forth.
I went and switched out the gate cam’s card again, to see what was going on.
In that short time, I saw the electric company vehicle going in and out a few times. What I also saw was our vandal stopping on the road to stare down our driveway, several times. Not just while the electric company guys were there and there was something to see, but even while they were gone. There was even a recording time stamped *after* I’d switched out the sign cam cards, so after I’d already done out to meet the prescription delivery.
I was about to update my brother and SIL when I got a message that they had just arrived. So I headed out to talk to them while guy they’d hired to haul it out got unhitched. Then I went and closed the gate! I didn’t lock it, as the electric company guys might still have needed to come in, but it was at least closed. Then I opened and closed it for the driver as he left. I’ll go back later to chain it again.
In the end, my brother end up moving their new abode – which will be a permanent set up – to a different spot. One that can’t be seen from the driveway, and not very visible from the back up driveway, either.
They’re still here and setting up. It’s going to be great to have them as “neighbours”! I just wish we didn’t have to constantly be thinking of what our vandal might end up doing.
Do we really want to go through all the hassle of trying to get another restraining order? It’s such a pain to go through that, and having to drive so far to go the court office. And yet, he is escalating.
Also, for someone who is supposedly dying of cancer that he says we caused, he’s pretty darn mobile and active.
*sigh*
Looks like we need to get more cameras.
On a more ordinary note…
We’re still insanely smokey out there. Our ongoing air quality warning now also includes reduced visibility warnings. It’s also hot and muggy. We’re supposed to get a bit more rain this evening, then again tomorrow morning, but not in any significant amounts. Those thunderstorm and tornado warnings we were getting yesterday didn’t affect us, but apparently there was a possible tornado touch down south of the city. There were also insanely severe thunderstorms that caused lighting strikes as much as 20km away from the heart of the storms themselves!
If we could just get some rain. Just rain. Lots of it. We need it so badly!
With that in mind, I need to decide if I’ll trust the forecast, or go water the garden anyhow, after supper.
The first of the Sub Arctic Plenty tomatoes is starting to develop a blush. As with so many other things, these tomatoes have stagnated in growth, but there are a few tomatoes developing at least. The rest are still very green.
In the next photo, we have our first open female pumpkin flower. I made sure to hand pollinate it, just to be on the safe side!
Last of all, I had a teeny, tiny harvest. A whole four of the yellow bush beans growing among the corn. It is odd to pick them when there were so few (from two plants, too!), but picking them will encourage more production.
I also picked the most Spoon tomatoes at one time for this year. There was maybe half a cup’s worth. This time, I washed and bagged them up to bring to my mother as a little treat. She’s not supposed to eat acidic foods like tomatoes, but loves them. These are so small and there are so few, they shouldn’t be an issue.
I headed over to my mother’s, getting to her place at around 9am. That’s when the lab opens, but she was scheduled for her morning med assist for 9:30. (She laughed in delight when she saw the teeny tomatoes!) So I helped her out with a few things and rubbed the Volataren on her back for her – something that the home care aid would have done, if I weren’t there. Then as she was getting ready to put on her slippers, I saw her toes needed some serious work! She had hired a foot care person to do her feet a while back and my mother told me she didn’t do a good job. As near as I can figure, though, it wasn’t a good job because her toenails are now long again. ???
I tried to do her feet, but it turned out she doesn’t have toenail clippers. Just fingernail clippers. Some of her toenails were so thick, they couldn’t fit into the clippers. Even scissors just slid off. She had a nail file I tried using, but it was so old, it was practically smooth.
Now on the shopping list for my mother: proper toenail clippers, and one of those callous grinders. There are special toenail grinders, but that would have to be an online purchase. I might order one for ourselves, actually. My husband needs help with his feet at times, too.
[side note: I sent a link to my husband to see what toenail grinder caught is attention and he came over to talk about it. He noticed that these grinders are basically just Dremels for toes – I had noticed that, too, and we both got a laugh over it. He has a variable speed Dremel and was suggesting we just buy the tips and use that. Which wouldn’t work too well for my mother! 😄)
While I was working in my mother’s feet, the home care aid arrived so I paused to let my mother take her meds. Normally, she would be having her breakfast with it, but she was fasting for one of her blood tests. She mentioned that to the aid, who said that she was going for blood tests herself, too.
After checking to make sure my mother’s back was treated, the care aid left. It took a while for my mother to get organized before we could leave. She decided she wanted to go to the bank today, too. Normally, she makes out a list of how many of each denomination she wants, but hadn’t done that, so she was looking all over for an old list. It took a while to redirect her away from that and assure her, she could still get the variety of denominations she wants, even without her list.
Thankfully, my mother was feeling better today than she was yesterday. She has to use a stool to get into the truck, with me lifting her slightly to help out, and she was concerned about whether or not she could do it today. She managed like a champ, though! Once at the lab, there was someone else at the counter, so I got her seated while she looked for her health care card. While waiting our turn, who should show up, but the health care aid we saw this morning! 😁
After my mother was checked in and the forms dropped off, we waited again. It turned out that they were short two people today. At the check in counter was an Asian guy that we’ve seen a few times. My mother prefers the girls, and they weren’t in today, so he was doing it all. At one point, he was at the counter and my mother was staring at him, then started crossing herself, repeatedly. Like she was trying to protect herself from the scary non-white person. *sigh*
The last time I brought her in for her monthly blood test, she asked me to make sure I was in the room with her while her blood was being drawn. It turned out that a while back, when I went to get an EKG done while she was getting her blood drawn, it was this guy that had drawn the blood, and she was convinced he faked it. She was positive that no blood was actually drawn, because she didn’t see any go into the vial.
The when she asked me to be there, it was one of the girls that drew her blood, but this time, it was the guy. As he was drawing her blood, with me sitting nearby, she actually spoke up, asking if he got the vein or not, because there was no blood going into the vial. Meanwhile, from where I was seeing, I was watching the vial fill. She had an extra test done this time, so I saw both of them fill. But my mother said she couldn’t see it.
I am now thinking this is related to her macular degeneration. Parts of her vision is obstructed so, because the guy drawing her blood wasn’t white, that must mean he was faking drawing her blood.
…
He was absolutely sweet with her, though, but sadly, that means nothing to my mother.
*sigh*
After her samples were drawn, we headed out and stopped at the bank. She hasn’t gone in ages and my brother has been getting her monthly cash for her, because it’s so difficult for her now. With his work hours, he’s only been able to take out smaller amounts through an ATM, and not all in the denominations she wants. This time, since she didn’t have her list, she asked me to go to the counter with her and make her requests as she had instructed me in the truck. This is a first. I usually go along to be available to help her with things, physically, but this time she actually wanted me to talk to the teller for her. The teller, of course, confirmed with my mother after I passed on the instructions, that it was what she wanted. My mother asking me to do something like this, especially involving money, is a really big shift.
The banking done, my mother was really hungry from her fasting, so she suggested we go somewhere to eat. It was early enough we still had to wait for the restaurant to open at 11. While there, someone else showed up to wait for the doors to open. My mother, being my mother, had her usual complaint every time we go to this place. The sidewalk to the door has broken edges on the concrete. She constantly rants about how they need to fix it, it looks bad, it makes the entire town look bad, it’s bad for business, etc. In reality, though, she just doesn’t like the look of it and demands it gets fixed for her. It really isn’t that bad. She started going on about it to the guy that was there, too, and we were both commenting that this would be very expensive to fix, and I pointed out that special permits would be needed. Plus, part of the area wouldn’t even belong to the restaurant, but to the town, so it would be the town’s responsibility to fix about half of it. All of which she angrily dismissed.
Then the poor guy came to unlock the door.
He held the doors open for my mother and her walker. My mother, meanwhile, didn’t miss a beat and went from complaining to us about the state of the sidewalk, to yelling about it at the poor guy. He did give an apology for it and said that it would be fixed when they could afford it, but my mother just kept being really rude and angry at him. I apologized, of course, but he seemed to take it in stride.
We had ourselves an excellent lunch, though, with my mother ordering a medium pizza for herself, so that she could take half of it home for her supper later on. Even with ordering, though, my mother was so impatient. She was hungry, which probably explained some of the behaviour, but she seems to think that if she tells the waitress how hungry she is, they will somehow magically produce her order instantly. Almost immediately after placing her order, she was complaining about how long it was taking! Once she got her food, though, she was very happy with it.
My mother insisted on paying for the meal, but she doesn’t believe in tips, so when she gave me just barely enough cash to cover the bill, I snuck a tip to the waitress. The last time my mother saw me leave a tip, she actually yelled at me on the way home over it.
That was our last stop, though, and my mother was more than happy to get home. Getting in and out of the truck is so difficult for her, but she manages it! Still, she had to stop and rest on her walker several times, just to walk the short distance to her apartment.
One of the things she was telling me to talk about with my brother (as her PoA) is about getting her a wheelchair. I tried asking her some questions about it, but she just said she needs a really comfortable wheelchair, and she can pay for it.
Now, we still have my late father’s folding wheelchair. That’s not what she’s asking for, though. She wants something “comfortable” (which is so subjective!). The problem is, I don’t think she has the arm strength to wheel herself around in a manual wheelchair. I tried to explain that to her, but it took several times for her to understand what I was getting at. Once she did, she tried to say that if she could stand at the counter and cook her own food, she could operate a wheelchair. I told her that there is a big difference between doing stuff at a counter or stove, and trying to move around her own weight. At which point she asked, what’s the alternative.
*sigh*
Several times now, my brother has tried to provide her with motorized mobility devices. Including a motorized chair that took up less space than her walker does. She refused to use it. When I brought it up, she said she didn’t like how jerky it was and she was afraid she would run into things. I told her, it was just a matter of getting used to it and learning how to use it.
In the end, I told her I would bring it up with my siblings but, in the mean time, I would bring my father’s wheelchair over. She could try it out and see just how well she can handle a manual chair. If she can, then we can look into getting her a “comfortable” wheelchair. Otherwise, we’d have to look into a power chair.
Our province does actually have a program that provides manual and power chairs on loan. On looking into the details, though, my mother doesn’t qualify, as she is in the process of being paneled for a nursing home.
The other problem I didn’t even bother bringing up is, my mother’s apartment is not wheelchair friendly. We would have to get rid of some of her furniture for her to be able to get around.
Well, we’ll be seeing my mother’s doctor next week. Perhaps there is something the doctor can do to expedite getting my mother into some sort of supportive living or long term care. As far as how the home care system paneling goes, they’re basically waiting for my mother to have a fall or something and end up in the hospital before she qualifies for anything. Which, of course, we’re doing everything we can to avoid!
In the end, I spent about three hours helping my mother get around and do the things she wanted. She was pretty exhausted by the time I got her home, and so was I! Enough that, once I got home, I ended up crashing for a couple of hours.
I still feel like I could sleep for a week.
Meanwhile, my brother and his wife came out, late this afternoon. They were returning their trailer from the camp ground up north and parking it. It was several hours of driving for them to get here. My brother was then running around like crazy, as he usually does! My SIL was able to catch me up on things while I gave her a tour of what I’ve been doing around with the garden. She really liked the new section of wattle weaving, and I told her about the issues I was having with the project, and my plans to get some basket willow, and where I would be planting them. Definitely with more planning than with the other willows we’ve got on the property! Some of them, like the ones near where the ejector is, should be cut down. They were planted way too close to the ejector and, even at its new location, their roots can destroy the system. I’m really surprised that they were planted there in the first place and, from the looks of some of them, someone already tried to cut them down at some point, and they just grew right back!
My brother and his wife have been talking about ways to help out with big jobs like that. We simply don’t have the tools and equipment to do a lot of it.
There isn’t a lot left of the season for this year, but next year I suspect there are going to be a LOT of changes and progress being made here, now that they no longer have their acreage to take care of, and can come out here more often. They’re even going to bring out a more permanent structure they were able to get a very good deal on. Something more like what in the UK is, I think, called a caravan. I can’t remember the name of it she told me. They want to be able to bring the grand kids out and have them stay the night, and that won’t work in the RV trailer they have right now.
I’m excited over their grandkids being able to come out here, too. They live in another province, so I hardly ever get to see them, and they’re growing so fast!!!
There are going to be so many changes here over the next few years!
No med assist for my mother this morning, nor for tomorrow morning.
*sigh*
Which meant I was out a bit earlier to feed the cats and do my rounds, but I didn’t have time to water the garden. The heat is on and is staying for the next few days, so we will likely be watering twice a day again. My daughters took care of the watering while I was out.
When setting out the cat food, I’ve been putting some in a try by the back door of the garage, where the garage kittens have been hanging out. Usually, I see them playing behind the garage, then running to hide as soon as I come near. They weren’t there this morning, though their mother followed me.
It wasn’t until I was heading back to the house with the bowl that I saw them! The white and black one was at one of the water bowls. It is a large former heated water bowl and was needed refilling, so the kitten was basically climbing the side of the bowl to be able to get to the water. The smokey one was a few feet away, chewing on some taller grass. As I very slowly and quietly got closer, it saw me and ran away…
In the direction of the house!
I still had to put the food bowl in the sun room, so I tried to skirt around, worried I would scare it away completely, but nope.
It ended up running into the sun room – then started eating!
I ended up leaving the bowl outside and finishing my rounds, leaving the water refills for later, so as not to scare them off.
I am so happy they have finally come to the house!!
That done, I was soon on the road to mother’s. When I called her about it last night, I remembered to ask her to make a shopping list so I could do her groceries as well. She had that ready when I got there. After giving her her medications, we went over the list, and added a few more things to it.
Her shopping goes pretty fast, so I was soon back and putting things away. My mother was getting dressed for the day and asked me to rub some Voltaren on her lower back, where things have been bothering her. The morning med assist with home care has extra time to do stuff like that for my mother. She tells me they don’t do a very good job of rubbing it in, though!
There were only a few odd things with my mother on this visit. During conversation, it got around to getting the door fixed, and I told her it was going to cost over $4000. She had asked me to let her know how much it would cost some time ago. I did mention it shortly after we got the estimate, but she got distracted by something and I don’t think she heard me. Her immediate response when I told her the amount today was, “I don’t believe it.” I’m not sure if she was accusing me of lying, or that the company was over charging. I went with the latter and told her that my brother had replaced a door on his house – just the door, not the frame – and did all the work himself, and it still cost them over $2000. That was years ago, too, before all the prices started going crazy.
She still doesn’t believe it.
Since she did ask, I mentioned a few other things we’re dealing with when she suddenly got all overwhelmed, saying it was “too much for me” and too much for her to deal with.
???
I said to her, I’m not expecting you to do anything. I’m just telling you about it! This isn’t for you to fix. Then I realized what was going on and added, I’m not our vandal. He used to go to her for money constantly – and she would give it to him! He got many thousands of dollars out of her, and I think she was expecting me to ask her for money. Now, she did imply that she would help with the cost when she first told me to let her know how much it would be, but this is my mother we’re talking about. She’ll throw money at our vandal at the drop of a hat, likely due to some odd feeling of guilt over how he’s turned out. Especially after the youngest of my brothers died, and he took full advantage of that. When it comes to me or my brother, however, she will often make promises about paying for things, then try to back out at the last minute. She did that when it she said she would pay for our moving out here to take care of the place, then tried to do it again with the new roof. So I don’t ask. She still acts as if I’m making demands of her.
Makes it very hard to have conversations with her at times.
As I was getting ready to leave, my mother asked about our crab apples. I told her, we won’t have apples until the end of August on one tree, end of September on the others. Well, someone had left a big box of crab apples in the common room, and she’d taken some for herself and for me. I’d seen the apples in the box and, while I knew my mother would have picked the best she could find, they weren’t in good shape. She started bagging up some crab apples for me and I tried to tell her we didn’t need any, I just did our big stock up shops, we have plenty of fruit, etc. She scoffed and started telling me how I should cook them, what I should do with them. All desserts. I told her, we’re not really dessert people. She scoffed again and said she was saving me money by giving them to me. I’m not sure how, but she then started talking about how I should be cooking our own food, and I would be saving money by cooking…
???
I told her, of course, I’m cooking. What does she think? We get food out of the air?
She started talking about how we’re “modern” and about food in boxes.
So… because I didn’t want to take the crab apples, she thinks I don’t cook, and we only eat prepared food from boxes?
I told her, do you know how expensive boxed food is? I do the cooking!
Ah, but we must be buying boxed food all the time, and that’s why we’re always short on money.
…
So…
Things are tight (which I didn’t even talk to her about in any way) isn’t because everything is breaking down and needing to be replaced or repaired. Not because the cost of living has gone through the roof. No. It’s because, in the almost 40 years since I moved off the farm, I apparently never cooked and we only eat prepared food.
I told her she was starting to make things up, just like our vandal. Her response? Well, I guess he had to learn it from somewhere.
…
*sigh*
So I now have a bag of bruised crab apples. We’ll find something to do with them. They won’t go to waste. My mother does have an incredible talent at making what was supposedly a gesture of kindness into a pretty nasty attack on my uselessness as a human being. Absolutely bizarre.
Ah, well. Not much we can do about it.
I had considered going back to the grocery store for ourselves, but just didn’t have the energy. I had tried to go to bed early last night, but that didn’t work. My left hip was particularly bad last night, so I got up to take painkillers – the first since I’ve been on anti-inflammatories – but didn’t have a water bottle handy. I now have a small drinks fridge in my bedroom that my daughters gave me to make space for the AC upstairs, so I just had to stand up and take two steps to get a water bottle.
Instead, I got hit with a Charlie Horse in my left thigh. I couldn’t even stand up, never mind take those two steps.
It’s been a a while since this has happened!
Thankfully, what I could reach was the Tei Fu lotion. Also thankfully, it wasn’t as bad as others I’ve had, and the lotion soon did its work. Getting back to sleep after that, though, was not easy, as my leg would still twitch and twang as if it was going to start cramping up again, for hours.
Being as tired as I was, and after dealing with my mother – and this her on a good day! – I was more than ready to just go straight home.
As I write this, it’s coming up on 5pm, and I’ll be heading out to do the evening yard cat feeding. I’m not looking forward to going out there. I think doing my evening stuff in the heat yesterday is what triggered the Charlie Horse last night. Plus, we’re still in the hottest part of the day. We already hit our expected high of 28C/82F, while the humidex put us at over 30C/86F. We’re not expected to cool down to our overnight low of 16C/61F until 6am tomorrow, and then it’s going to scream right back up again. There is rain in the forecast but not for another 4 days.
Definitely need to water the garden again tonight. I did use that Shake ‘n’ Feed fertilizer on most of the beds, so hopefully that will help with every watering as well.
Speaking of gardening.
Yes. I did it again.
I placed another seed order.
What can I say? MI Gardener went from having a 25% off sale, to a 40% off sale.
This time, I got some more unusual items, as well as varieties that I want to try at some point. Most of this is pure seed inventory stuff. I’ve already got the order confirmation, so I’ll write about that in my next post.
After I feed the kitties.
I wonder if the garage kittens are still close to the house, getting to know their cousins?
As you can see in the video after the image in the slideshow above, they are all very nervous and alert!
Sadly, I ran out of canned cat food last night, so no kitten soup this morning. I can tell they were waiting for it! That got taken care of with our first stock up shop, today. I’ll follow up on that in my next post.
I completely forgot to do an update after I got home from meeting with my friend, then seeing my mother, yesterday.
This turned out to be one of those “fine threads” situations. Since no one in my family was available to drive me to my mother’s town and pick up the truck from the garage, my friend was a sweetheart and drove me.
Being paranoid about vehicles the way I’ve become, I had to ask her about the noise her car was making. She said it was her transmission. Her car, a Toyota, has a recall on transmissions, and it hadn’t been done yet.
I suggested she talk to the guy at the garage about it. Which turned out to be a really, really good thing.
After talking to him, and going for a spin, he thought it might be the wheel bearings, except it wasn’t acting like it was the wheel bearings. So an appointment was booked, accidentally missed, then rescheduled for yesterday.
Originally, my friend was going to pick me up at 8am and we were going to drive in together. After doing my mother’s med assist on Sunday night, I realized I would have to run errands for her. I suggested to my friend that I take my truck and meet her at the garage. So that was arranged.
Since the garage opens at 9, and that’s when she was booked, I didn’t leave until about 8:30. I got to the garage before 9, yet there she was, watching as her car was already on the lift!
When I got there, the owner/mechanic was manually turning her rear driver’s side wheel, which is where he narrowed down as the main source of the noise, though the front tire was also making noise. He was really excellent as explaining to her what we were hearing, which was a normal sound, as he spun the tire. What he couldn’t do was spin is fast enough to hear the other noise. He was going to have to take the tire off and try to see what was going on.
So I took my friend out for breakfast.
We had an excellent time, catching up with each other. I mentioned to her about my mother’s medications and that I wanted to go to the pharmacy and see if her bubble packs were ready. The pharmacy is right near the garage, so that’s where we went next. I had just parked the truck and we were chatting when I spotted what I thought was her car, driving by behind us. It turned the corner and drove past on the other side, so we could see that yes, the mechanic was driving her car around the block!
She walked over to the garage, just as he was pulling back in, while I went to the pharmacy. My mother’s bubble packs were ready, and I found out how much they were. I didn’t pay for them because, the last time I did that, my mother got really angry and seems to think it cost as much as it did (she expected it to be “free”) because I used my card to pay for it. The folks at the pharmacy are quite familiar with my mother and her… peculiarities, shall we say! She completely understood why I just wanted to know how much it cost. I’m glad I did stop by, because there was no arrangement for delivery, from what I could tell, and my mother didn’t have any evening meds left for Monday, though she did have a full day’s worth for Tuesday.
Once I got the information, I headed over to the garage.
I could tell as soon as I walked in and saw them talking at the counter, that the news was not good.
My friend’s brakes were severely worn out, with the driver’s side half the thickness as the passenger side.
Worse, he couldn’t do anything about it.
One problem was that his 6 month old $10,000 diagnostic computer couldn’t connect with her on board computer. They can’t talk to each other. He’s never had this happen before, even when working with other Toyotas. Since he can’t connect with her computer, he can’t do the repair. He could jerry rig something together and it might last 6 months, but he wasn’t going to do that.
She was going to have to go to a dealership, and they charge typically twice as much for everything, including both parts and labour.
My friend was really unhappy to hear that, as the dealership has been really awful to her. One of the more recent issues was about the transmission recall. She phoned them about it and the guy she was talking to said, oh, I see you’ve missed a payment. She had only two or three payments left (the last payment was made just a week ago). She said yes, I missed one payment in 4 years – and what does that have to do with my transmission? To which she was told, “we can’t do anything for you”, and he hung up on her. !!!!
I don’t think that’s even legal when it involves a recall. The mechanic didn’t know for sure, but he said it shouldn’t be!
That was just one example. Knowing the dealership she went to, he had more. Turns out he had a story involving someone that turned out to be a mutual friend. She had towed her vehicle to the dealership and they told her she needed a new engine. Which would have been $8000 at the time.
She had it towed to him and he took a look.
Her engine was flooded. That’s all.
He told her about another location in the city, but they’re franchises owned by the same parent company. The only other one he knew of that was NOT a franchise dealership is in another small city that’s a 2 hour drive away.
My friend is going to take it there, because she refuses to deal with the place in the city.
He spent time explaining to her what he did, what he was, and why he couldn’t figure out what was going on to cause her brakes to wear like that. There’s something happening that he can’t see, nor diagnose with the computer. When he first mentioned the problem, I suggested proprietary software, but he said that’s illegal. They can, however, make it so that it’s really, really hard for anyone else to be able to do anything. Whatever the problem is, he can’t tell.
For now, he says he’s not worried about my friend driving her car normally. The way he put it, he could tell she isn’t a “rally driver”. The problem would be if she had to suddenly brake to avoid an accident, the brakes might not work. She needs to get it fixed as soon as possible.
I could see my friend was getting really worried, so I asked if he could give some sort of ballpark figure on how much it will cost, so she at least had some idea. That’s the issue. If he did the work, with what he charges for labour per hour, and being able to use off label parts, it would be a few hundred dollars. At dealership prices and how long they tend to charge for, it’ll be probably more than double that. She’s probably looking at $800 or more to get it done at a dealership.
But it’s her brakes, and there’s no messing around when it comes to brakes! They need to be done!
At least we know that where she plans to go is likely to be ethical about it. The entire town (city? I’m not sure if it’s officially big enough to be a city) has a strong reputation for reputable car dealerships. A lot of people will go out of their way to get vehicles there. So she should be in good hands.
Since he had to take her tires off, he made sure to let her know she needs to get her tires torqued between 50 and 100km. She didn’t know what that was, so he explained it to her. Since she lives in the town nearest us, I recommended to go to our regular garage. We reassured her, no one will charge her for torquing her tires.
Then she asked how much she owed him.
Nothing.
He said he couldn’t do anything to fix her car. He couldn’t even diagnose it properly. He wasn’t going to charge her for anything.
She was so thankful! He spent more than an hour trying to diagnose her vehicle, and no one would have had an issue with him charging for his time. She tried to pay him anyhow, but he refused.
What a good man.
From there, we parted ways. Given the distance to town, she was going to go straight to our regular garage and get her tires torqued sooner rather than later.
As for me, I headed over to my mother’s.
She was surprised to see me, even though I told her I’d be in town and wanted to take care of getting her medications. I told her how much is was going to be, and she asked me to pick something else up for her as well. She gave me the cash for it, but couldn’t find her loyalty card anywhere. She kept looking through her purse, but she has so many odd things in there, and has a habit of going through it and moving things around. After a while, I told her it was okay; I could just get her stuff and she could keep the receipt to get her points later. The only thing she uses them for is to get cash back off her purchases, so they add up.
After I picked her stuff up at the pharmacy, I tried going to a small department store across the street to see if they had some sort of organizer wallet for my mother. Unfortunately, the only designs they had were not accessible for my mother’s arthritic and twisted hands.
My sister works at a Walmart, so when I updated my family, I asked if she could keep an eye out for something that would be easy for my mother to use.
Once I got my mother’s bubble packs home, I made sure to put them into the lock box, before she had a chance to hide one of them away. When I went to open the combination lock, I realized that it was already on the combination. Whoever did her morning meds forgot to roll the tumblers after they closed up the box!! Thankfully, my mother didn’t try to open the box herself!
All of this was done by 11:30am, and my mother’s Meals on Wheels would soon arrive. She was looking really tired and overwhelmed, too, so I didn’t stay for very long. My mother wasn’t the only one feeling tired! As soon as I got home, I crashed in bed and didn’t get up until it was time to feed the outside cats!
Which means I didn’t get much done at home. Laundry doesn’t count. 😄
Today hasn’t been any more productive at home, either, but at least I got the shopping done!
It’s so hard to get pictures of those eyes, but I think I managed to capture their colour pretty well. They are SO white!
Eyelet kept trying to follow me down the driveway, which is not good, since I’m 99% sure he’s stone deaf. You can’t tell to watch him running around and playing, but I’ve gone past him with a lawn mower while we was sleeping and he didn’t wake up, so that’s a pretty sure sign!
These two kittens are the bravest of the four secret kitties – and the location of their “nest” in the outer yard is still very much a secret. Sprout is a good mama, but I do wish she would learn to accept us humans. When I got closer, she hissed at me and hid deeper in the tall grass. The white and grey ran off and hid. The orange on, however, started to run off, then came back. He’s getting curious enough that I think we might be able to touch him, fairly soon.
Sprout, meanwhile, just glared at me through the grass! 😄
As soon as I could hear a car coming down the road, I tucked Eyelet into the isolation shelter (which is open) and dashed to the gate before any cats or kittens could follow me! I did see Pinky’s two kittens in the garage, but they ran off before I could do more than confirm I was seeing both of them.
The drive to my mother’s town was a good time for catching up. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.
I did, however, have to interrupt the conversation to ask her about the noise her car was making. She thought it might have something to do with a recall on her vehicle model, but she didn’t know for sure. She needed to get it checked but didn’t want to go to the dealership in the city she bought it from, because it turned out, they suck.
When we got to the garage, I paid my bill – $56 and change, after taxes, including 12¢ for the C clip he used to fix the break in the linkage. I asked about the part he’d ordered, and he confirmed that they had sent him the wrong one for some reason. Frustrating, but their mistake saved me about $300, and the truck is working fine.
Then, since we were there, my friend asked about her car. He asked some specific questions about the noise, then asked if she was okay to go for a drive. So while I got set up in the truck and put back a few things I’d made sure to take out before leaving it for the tow truck, they went for a run. The mechanic did the driving. Later on, my friend laughed while saying it was a good thing there were no police around at the time! He was wanting to see if it was the wheel bearings, as the sound should change while swerving.
The sound didn’t change.
She was really happy with him, though, and booked an appointment with him for next week. I happen to not have anything scheduled on that day, so she’ll be coming over to here, first, to pick me up. We’ll go for breakfast somewhere nearby, then visit with my mother.
Which is what we did after we were done at the garage. Well; breakfast for her, lunch for me. We had a great time catching up before heading over to my mother’s.
I didn’t call ahead to my mother that we were coming by. Normally, my mother doesn’t like surprise visits like that, but I knew she would be happy with this one. She has always liked my friend, back from when we first got to know each other in junior high. Even back then, she called my mother “mom”, just like I called her mother, “mom”. When my mother nearly killed herself causing an accident, years ago, my friend happened to be there to witness it, and took care of my mother afterwards. If it weren’t for that, we would have never found out what happened that day, since my mother basically lied about some of the details, and left lots of information out.
My mother was thrilled with the surprise visit. She was also just as tickled to be called “Mom” by my friend, still, after all these years.
I had showed the pictures I took of Eyelet this morning to both my friend and my mother. My friend has a one cat right now. She was telling me I needed to come visit her and meet her cat, and I joked about bringing Eyelet along.
Long story short, after her car is done at the garage next week and she drives me home, I will grab Eyelet and follow her to her place in the truck for a visit. We will see how Eyelet and her cat get along. If they get along, she might adopt Eyelet! She does know he is probably deaf. I do want to make sure she knows he’s probably got ear mites and worms, and has never had vet care. At least I’ve seen him use a litter box in the sun room, though, so he’ll figure that out rather fast.
Once done at my mother, we parted ways.
I’m now rather glad my sister wasn’t available to drive me today. It was so good to catch up with my friend, while getting the truck back. She has a very eclectic work schedule, so even for her to have today available at all was serendipitous. It worked out for her, too, since she is now going to get her own vehicle looked at with a mechanic/garage owner she really likes – unlike the dealership garage in the city she’s been having issues with!
It’s late enough now that I won’t be starting any projects outside, and will just do my evening rounds after feeding the outside cats. Right now, other than a potential grocery shopping trip for my mother, I have 4 days of pleasant weather to get work done outside. Finally! I have two large projects I’ve had to set aside for now, partly due to being pulled away for other things, and partly because I had to give my left arm time to heal from my fall. It is still bothering me, but at least I can do more with it. If it’s still a problem when I see my doctor at our rescheduled time next week, I’ll request X-rays. It’s been quite some time, and it really shouldn’t still be hurting like it does.
Oh, speaking of medical stuff, my daughter just came by to show me her wrist. The surgical bandage could finally come off today and, my goodness, the incision is healing quite nicely! Oddly, it looked so small while the bandage was on, but now that the bandage is off, it seems larger, somehow. They definitely needed space to evict Squidly.
So that is where we are at now. The truck is back and working, we might have Eyelet adopted out, and plans to spend time with my old friend again next week.
I was watering the future food forest when I heard some scrambling. Syndol had climbed to the top of the old squash tunnel. He looked so very majestic, silhouetted against the sky, so I had to get a couple of pictures!
Even the shy ones are exploring the isolation shelter. I think that’s their sibling in the upper level, with Eyelet.
When doing the evening feeding, Colby has been getting brave enough to actually start coming back to the food bowls, while I’m still nearby. I almost touched him today! The shy ones in the photo, though, ran off even though I was across the yard from them still.
Speaking of feral kittens, while I was out, my daughter took care of paying the septic guy, then making sure the gate was closed after he left. As she was going past the garage, she spotted the mama that lives there, the white and grey kitten I spotted this morning, and a second kitten! She tried to get pictures, but was too far away, and the ran under the door as soon as they saw her. From what we can make out, the second kittens looks SO much like a Siamese!
We have got to get them closer to the house somehow. The mother just isn’t bringing them. At least they’re going outdoors!
As for my day…
Good grief.
Everything was fine when I headed out. I made sure to leave the gate open for the septic truck, so I didn’t have to stop to close the gate behind me. I got to my mother’s in good time, and did her morning med assist. Then we went over her grocery list and she made sure to give me cash. She just couldn’t resist making a nasty comment about how she didn’t want me using my card again. Somehow, she seems to be blaming the high cost of her inhaler on my using my credit card to pay for it. As if it somehow would have been free, if I hadn’t done that. Very confusing.
Speaking of confusing, I made sure to get pictures of my all my mother’s bubble packs. She has three “active” bubble packs, and one completely untouched one – and her secret stash bubble pack is now in the lock box, thankfully. There’s still one pack that has a single bubble in it with pills still in it from a day no one showed up for her morning meds. My mom made comments about how confusing it all was, as if it was the fault of the home care aids. It old her, it’s a mess because of what she’d been doing!
Once I was done going over her grocery list with her, I headed out to the truck to go to the store.
It wouldn’t go.
It started fine, but when I went to shift out of part to drive, nothing happened. The lever just moved up and down, freely, with no resistance.
My immediate thought was that something was wrong with the transmission. Which was a worst case scenario, really.
Whatever it was, the truck wasn’t moving.
After turning it off, then on and trying again several times, I finally went back inside, while sending messages to my family and my brother – I knew my brother was coming out to the farm this morning, but didn’t know when.
Once inside, I told my mother what was going on, and finished sending my messages. Then I told her I would just walk over to the grocery store, do her shopping then, when everything was put away, I planned to walk to a garage that was up the street from her place.
My mother suggested that I get them to deliver her groceries, which would have been done after the store closed, but I said it was fine. The store is just a couple of blocks away, and she didn’t have a large list.
As I headed out, I stopped at the truck to get a couple of hard sided grocery bags I knew would fit all her shopping. Of course, I tried the truck again.
Nothing.
Off I went to the grocery store and picked up my mothers items, then brought them back. As I going past her with the bags to get into the kitchen and put things away, she shoved a box of chocolates at me and said to take some. She wanted me to sit down with her and finish off the last few chocolates in the box. I said no thanks for now, I wanted to put the groceries away first. I always make sure to show her what I got, as I put things away, even if I didn’t have to make any changes to her list.
Then I sat down for a bit and did have a couple of chocolates while messaging with my brother and my family, and updating her, before going walking to the garage.
Which is when she asked me to sweep her floor.
Now, I had expected to do some housework for her today, but that went out the window once the truck stopped working. I needed to somehow get it to a garage and find a way home! We only have the one vehicle. I was still thinking “transmission”, even though, after trying to get it out of park a few times, it didn’t seem like the transmission was being engaged at all.
So I told her I needed to work on getting the arrange to get the truck to a garage.
She wanted me to sit down and “rest” for a while.
I really needed to get on this.
“So, you’re done with me, then?”
…
Yes, today, I am done and have to go!
I went to give her another hug before leaving, and she hung on to me, like she was trying to stop me from leaving.
Now, if this were someone else, I’d be flattered, but this is my mother. It wasn’t that she wanted my company or anything like that. It was because I had a problem to solve instead of paying attention to her and doing stuff for her. It was like some sort of test.
Which I’m sure I failed.
We said our goodbyes and I headed out. My brother suggested something to try first, so I did.
Nothing.
They were on the road to the farm, and said they would meet me at the truck along the way.
The cab of the truck was way too hot to sit in, so I dropped the tail gate and sat to wait for my brother.
It turned out that he misunderstood what I meant when I said the truck wasn’t moving. When he tried it himself, he figured it had to be a linkage problem. He then popped the hood and got me to move the lever while he watched inside. My SIL had to actually look around the hood to confirm that yes, I was moving the lever back and forth, continuously.
Nothing.
We now had to get the truck to a garage. My brother suggested I call CAA and arrange a tow, but I told him I needed to find out where to tow it, first. That’s why I wanted to walk over to the garage, first, so see if they would take the truck.
So they drove me over, with my poor SIL squished in the middle seat, and my brother went in with me. We talked to the woman behind the counter and explained what was happening with the truck. Her immediate thought was that it sounded like a linkage problem! I asked about getting the truck towed to them and she checked their schedule.
They wouldn’t be able to look at it until Wednesday.
Today is Friday.
My brother and I talked about it briefly and she suggested we try one of the other garages, in case someone else could look at it sooner.
So that’s what we did.
The other garage is one I’ve been to before, but not in many years, since we now go to a garage in the nearer town. The original owner sold the garage to one of his mechanics, but kept working his towing company, in the same location. When we got there, I was surprised to see the towing guy, but we talked to him about the truck and he looked at their schedule.
Tuesday. Maybe Monday.
Well, that was better than Wednesday!
So we agreed and he wrote my into the schedule. As we were talking about getting it towed, I found he no longer did CAA tows at all, but they would use the garage a couple of blocks away. He suggested I call CAA for the tow, since it’s covered, and that would save me $100.
That done, I started making the call to CAA while we drove back to the truck. The plan was for me to leave the keys hidden in the truck and then I would go home with my brother.
The call continued after we got to the truck and I had it on speaker phone so my brother could hear as well. We also had a hard time giving the name of the garage, as the guy couldn’t find it. My brother finally looked it up on his own phone and it turned out the only name that showed up was the towing company name, so that was the location they put it in as. The entire call was made extra difficult as we were suddenly getting some of the loudest traffic going by, ever!
As we arranged the tow, the guy told me I had to be with the truck when the tow truck arrived.
???
They haven’t required that in years.
Oh, and the tow would arrive at around 1:30pm
It was barely 11am at the time.
I told him, I can’t do that. I don’t live here, and I don’t have transportation. He said, if I wasn’t there, the driver couldn’t tow the truck.
My brother finally just said, we’ll be here, so I confirmed that with the guy.
I was thanked for my cooperation.
Uh huh.
Once the call was done, my brother suggested I hide the keys in the truck, then we would go back to the garage.
So that’s what we did.
Because of the trouble we had finding the place on the map, I made sure to look for the spelling on the sign when we got there.
The sign wasn’t there.
There was the towing company sign.
Looks like the original owner owns the garage again!
Which I’m good with. I liked him better.
So we talked to him about the call with CAA and what they told us about needing to be there when the truck arrived. Now, he used to do towing for CAA, so his reaction was a big WTF?
The towing company was just up the road, so he suggested we talk to the guy about it.
Meanwhile, I already received a text confirming the arrangement with the towing company, complete with reference number.
So we went over to the other garage (this town has one grocery store, but at least three garages!) and got to talk to the tow truck driver directly. We explained what CAA told us, and he was all, WTF? No, I did not need to be there. I told him where the key was hidden, and made sure he knew that the truck wouldn’t go out of park. That was useful for him, because they normally need to put the vehicle into neutral to be able to move it. I also warned him about the missing handle inside the driver’s side door. My brother laughed and joked, “you probably see that all the time.” The guy said yes, yes he did!
In the middle of all this, my daughter let me know when the septic guy came and went, she took care of paying him (with tip. The septic guy always gets a tip) – and about the kittens she saw! All was being taken care of on the home front.
So arrangements with the garage and the tow was finally done. We then squeezed back into my brother’s truck and drove to the farm!
My brother and his wife, meanwhile, were going to lend us a vehicle.
The one that’s stored in the barn.
Now, there are reasons they replaced it, but it still runs and they were pretty sure the registration hasn’t expired yet, either. My brother would get it out of the barn for me and we could use it until we got the truck back.
!!!
Once we got to the farm, they had to rush to get what they needed to do done – and now they had the extra job of getting the car out of the barn! A lot of stuff had been shoved into it and around it, in their hurry to get everything off their property before possession was turned over to the new owners.
My brother and his wife are the best. I don’t know what we’d do without them!
A few hours later, I was in my room folding laundry, my older daughter came in to let me know that she’d heard the storm door open and close. She went to check and found my brother had dropped some peas on the floor and left.
Peas?
Okay.
As we were talking, I mentioned that they were in a huge hurry, but were making sure to have the vehicle available for us.
Which is when I realized my daughter had said, keys. Not peas.
Auditory processing disorder can be really funny, sometimes.
Thanks to the new security camera my brother installed at the gate, I was able to check the live feed to see them leave. My brother drove the truck out with their trailer, and my SIL followed behind with the care they’d loaned us in the past. When she stopped to close the gate behind them, I was able to use the camera to say thank you again, and wish them safe driving, and hear my SIL’s response.
I love technology!
Not long after, I got a call from the garage.
He had a few minutes, so he got the truck in and took a look.
It was exactly what everything thought it might be. A linkage problem. The cable broke.
He was able to use a clip and put it together and it was working, but he couldn’t give any sort of guarantee on how long it would hold. A few months. A few weeks? Eventually, the part would need to be replaced, which would be the entire assembly. It has been a long time since he’d replaced one, but he thought it was around $400plus.
This is our only vehicle. We can’t take chances.
I gave the go ahead. to order the part, asking him to call me back when he knew how much the part would cost. Labour would be $100 an hour, and he estimated about 2 hours to replace it.
I was getting ready to go out and water the garden when he called back.
Was I good with an off market cable for $150?
Uhm… yeah!!!!
So that’s what he ordered for me. The total, with 2 hours of labour and taxes, would come out to less than the part if it came from GM.
So that will be done on Tuesday.
Just in time for my daughter and I to have our joint medical appointment on Wednesday.
Then my eye test on Thursday that she has to drive me home from.
I had completely forgotten about the medical appointments on Wednesday. If we’d gone with the first garage, we would have had to reschedule, and who knows when that would have had to be.
Thank God the problem turned out to be relatively minor and not the transmission!!!
Plus, my older daughter has said she can cover the cost, so it’s not a hit to our budget, either.
That’s a huge relief!
Meanwhile, I’m going to have to use my brother’s vehicle tomorrow, though I was planning to avoid it. It all the fuss, I completely forgot I was going to hit the feed store for more kibble for the outside cats.
I used the last of their kibble to do this evening’s feeding, and even had to stretch it a bit by making a big bowl of cat soup with it.
The cats didn’t complain, that’s for sure!
After all that, I finally headed out to water the garden and baby food forest, which I’ll write about in my next post.
On the one hand, this was a pretty stressful day and another expense we just don’t need.
On the other than, things couldn’t have worked out better, under the circumstances.
The problem didn’t happen until after I got to my mother’s, and I could still do her grocery shopping.
My brother happened to take the day off today so they could get their trailer set up and out for the rest of the summer, so stopping to help me out was on their way.
They still had their hold vehicle, it was being stored here at the farm, and it’s insured (though they did have to run into town to make sure of that).
We went with the second garage that could work on the truck a day earlier than the first one, which meant we don’t have to reschedule medical appointments I’d forgotten about.
I mean, if something’s going to go wrong, it couldn’t have happened under better circumstances.
As my SIL said, someone is watching out for me, and I totally agree – and give thanks!
The plan for this morning was to head out nice and early to get the garden watered before things got too hot.
The problem with that was, at 4am, we were still at 21C/70F out there. We never got any cooler than that, overnight.
Still better than today’s expected high of 31C/88F, so I was heading out somewhere around 6am to get started. The outside cats were a bit confused by the early feeding, though! 😄
The sky was certainly dramatic as I continued my rounds.
(Major interruption; I got a call from home care while typing the above. Guess who had to drive to my mother’s for her morning med assist again? It … was not really a good visit. More on that later.)
Where was I…
Ah, yes.
While I was doing my rounds, I could hear thunder in the distance, but I went ahead and did all the watering, anyhow. It did start raining while I was out there, but barely enough to get my shirt wet.
I did snag what look to be the last of our turnips.
I plan to include them in a large crock pot meal that won’t heat up the house, so we can just reheat individual portions whenever we want. In this heat, none of us have much for appetites, and no one wants to cook.
As I was finishing up outside, I spotted this adorable sight.
With the heat and humidity, the kittens are sleeping a LOT. I didn’t see the wild kittens at all this morning. Hopefully, they had a chance to have the cat soup I put out for them, before the adults ate it all. All the bowls I use for that were empty before I was done, and I was able to gather them all up to the old kitchen, ready for their evening feeding.
Thankfully, what rain we did have made things more pleasant while I was doing the watering.
Once inside, I did have a chance to have breakfast before I started on this blog post, when I got the call about my mother’s med assist. They couldn’t find anyone to cover her 9:30.
Looking at the time as I talked to the scheduler, it was 9:32. They do know it takes me a while to get to my mother’s (just the prefix on my land line would tell them that). I called my mother to let her know I’d be coming and…
She started asking me if I was okay for coming over. After a bit, I figured out she was wondering if I had any appointments or such that was being interfered with. I assured her that I did not; my appointments were yesterday, not today.
She then started to suggest I didn’t need to come. She could take her pills herself.
???
It turns out that, when the pharmacy delivered her bubble pack refills yesterday, she tucked one pack aside (a week’s worth). The home care aid put the rest in the lock box.
I assume the home care aid did not count how many packs there were, to make sure they were all there.
This is not a good thing but, to be honest, I can’t fault her for doing it. Home care has not been reliable.
I told her, don’t touch it. I’ll be right there!
After a quick change, I was on the road and soon at her place.
Where I found her with a recycling bag on the floor, the contents of her recycling bin all over, as she was sorting and stacking the various Meals on Wheels food containers (I don’t even know if they can be recycled). Once I figured out what she was doing, I told her she didn’t need to do that; just put it all in the bag. Today was her town’s day for picking up the recycling, so I helped her bag everything so I could take it out to the stack in front of her building for pick up.
She became angry at me for not tying off the bag correctly.
While this was being done, I noticed my mother had a page from the local free weekly paper she gets. It was the obituary/memorial section.
There was a picture of my later brother and father in there.
The beginning of July is the anniversary of my brother’s death. He’s been doing this for the last 15 years now. When my father passed, he changed the picture to one with both my brother and father in there. The text is a bizarre and completely false claim in regards to this property and a cottage that doesn’t exist. My mother, however, was all gooey about seeing the ad, and isn’t our vandal so wonderful for doing this? He does it every year. No one else does. He pays to do this!
I said to her, you do realize he’s not doing this out of the kindness of his heart, right?
One the one hand, I’m glad his passive aggressive and very public attack on the family is going right over her head. On the other, I’m frustrated, because it’s working. All the abuse and lies and theft over the years, but he paid money to put a picture and lie about my late brother, and that makes him better than me or my siblings.
*sigh*
Anyhow…
After dropping the recycling bag off outside, I went straight into the washroom to wash my hands before getting her meds. The door was open, so she could see me. As I left, she asked me, did you wash your hands?
…
I got her morning meds out, along with her inhaler, making sure to check the front of the bubble pack to get the Friday morning bubble, before opening it from the back.
It wasn’t until I updated my siblings after getting home that I realized, something was wrong.
When I was there to do her morning med assist on Wednesday, I was trying to figure out why her Tuesday meds were still in the bubble pack. When confirming which bubble I needed to open this morning, I saw that yesterday’s meds were gone, as were Wednesday’s…
… and Tuesday’s.
I’d taken a picture of the active bubble pack when I was there on Wednesday, as well as the pack in the lock box, because the pack in the lock box should have had the two Monday evening pills still in it, and it didn’t.
What the heck is going on?
I didn’t clue into that at the time, though, and just kept going.
I had decided that, since I was in my mother’s town, anyhow, I would stop at the grocery store to pick up some of their deli meats that are priced so much better than elsewhere. I told my mother I was going to go to the grocery store, and asked if she needed anything that I could pick up for her?
She thought about it for a moment, then said I could change her bedding for her.
…
Okay.
So I did that, which took a while. Then put away her clean laundry so I could use the basket. Changed her table cloth out for her, too. That done, I explained again that I was going to go to the grocery store after, and did she want anything?
It turned out she missed the part about planning to go for myself, anyhow, and couldn’t figure out why I was going to go to the grocery store for her, when she didn’t need it. I explained again, and she had me check her fridge for her. I pulled a couple of things out of the freezer, but she was still okay in general.
Then she wanted to have a serious talk with me.
*sigh*
Long story short, my mother is still convinced that we should be able to go directly to the nursing home she wants to go to and ask them to take her in. I tried to explain to her that this is not how things work. They’re not like an apartment that you can rent. They are part of the health care system, so they have no say. Plus, the only time they have open beds is when someone dies, and then they have a waiting list of people who want to get in. She kept cutting me off and getting angry as I tried to explain this, and said, they are kind people. There are still kind people in the world. Unlike you.
…
She managed to throw that one at me several times.
She also thinks my SIL, who has always been so incredibly kind to my mother and stood up for her, so many times, is “pulling away” my brother from her. That’s why he never calls (he does) or visits (we were both there just this past weekend).
She also thinks the home care staff that I have to cover for are not showing up because they don’t feel like it.
My mother is a great one for projecting all sorts of motivations onto people, and if I make any attempt to suggest there might be other reasons, she accused me of always taking “their” side on things, and being against her.
*sigh*
After a few more comments about how other people were so kind “unlike you” and making digs at my brother and SIL, my mother started talking about her stuff and how we need to decide who gets the pictures, or if she will donate them to a museum.
She has no understanding of what museums take or why, but she’s convinced these old prints have some sort of incredible value, because she likes them, and she understands that there is value in things…
She also brought up about her health and I reminded her that, if she’s really feeling bad, use the life line. That’s the fastest way to get help, plus they would contact me.
Oh, you know I’m not good with technology.
I reminded her, she just needs to push a button. That’s it. She has pushed it by accident, leaning against her table, as it is.
She’s angry about having the life line, because she’s paying more than $50 a month for it, and they’re not doing anything.
…
*sigh*
So all in all, it was a pretty unpleasant visit with my mother this time. Then, after all her digs about how unkind I was, she actually thanked me for coming out and gave me gas money.
Her digs against me were no big deal. She always has something, and it’s water off a duck’s back for me. The things she was saying about my brother and SIL – two of the most awesome people who have done so much to help her for so many years – that got under my skin. I’m still ticked off.
As for the rest of my day, I suspect the evening watering will be skipped again. The heat is supposed to linger until late, and we currently have both heat warnings and severe thunderstorm warning happening right now. It’s past 2pm as I write this, and we’ve reached 29C/84F, and the humidex has us at 34C/93, and it is MUGGY out there. I hope we do get the storms, but from what I can see of the weather radar, these storms are all coming up from the US and will only hit the southern parts of Canada.
As for me right now, I have this sudden urge to take a nap to recover my sanity.
Today was my day to go to my mother’s to get her monthly blood test done, so I just did my usual rounds this morning. My daughter was a sweetheart and took care of watering everything before it got too hot. Tomorrow is supposed to be even hotter, but we might also get thunderstorms, depending on which app I check, so we’ll see if we have to water twice again or not. I’m starting this past 9:30pm, and we’re still under heat warnings!
Once the rounds were done, I was soon off to my mother’s.
Going to my mother’s did not go as expected. Which is saying something, since visiting her rarely goes as expected.
The plan was to wait until home care came for the morning med assist, then I would take my mother for her blood work. She’s got a new 2 week schedule, and her morning visits are now at 9:30-9:40am. They seem to switch from 9am to 9:30 fairly often. She gets 10 minutes scheduled in the morning, rather than the usual 5, because they’re supposed to be doing things like emptying her commode and offering assistance in getting dressed. I don’t think they’re doing that. They just give her her meds and leave.
When I got there, I went into the lock box to get the paperwork for this month’s lab tests; it’s a place to store them where they won’t get “lost”. My mother told me to give her her pills, but I said no. We’ll wait for the home care aid to arrive.
Which is when she told me they didn’t come for the two evening visits on Monday…. no… Sunday…
That’s when she showed me the new schedule (the old one was still taped to the wall), where she’d written “no one” around those two time slots. She still kept trying to tell me it was Sunday, but it couldn’t have been.
Since they didn’t show up, she took them herself.
She would have had only Monday left in the lock box, and would have gotten the Monday morning meds from there. The pharmacy tried to deliver her refills later in the day, but she though I’d already paid for them, so she told them she didn’t have enough cash, and tried to say I paid for them. They left her with 1 week’s refills (for free) until it could be straightened out. That got worked out and my mother was supposed to get the refills delivered today. I thought she wanted me to take her to the pharmacy herself after her bloodwork, when I talked to her on the phone last night, but when I got there this morning, she said she was prepared to “pay again”. She’s still convinced she’s being double charged and cheated. Meanwhile, they’re bending over backwards to help her!
Anyhow, this left my mother with a week of pills and no one with the code to put them in the lock box. She’s already had her Monday morning pills, so when no one showed in the evening, she took them from the new package, since the other one was in the lock box. It was pure chance that she took the right day’s pills, since she ignores that completely and gets furious that they can’t give her pills from missed days.
It took me a while to get things straight, and I had to check and recheck things because it just didn’t make sense. When I went into her lock box on Friday, she had a bubble pack that would be finished on Sunday, and a bubble pack with just Monday on it, plus one set of morning pills from a day (a Thursday) that got missed.
The person who saw her Tuesday morning put the new bubble pack into the lock box. The lab requisitions sheets were on the bottom, of course, so I had to take everything out to get them.
The thing is…
Tuesday’s pills are still there. All of them.
The older bubble pack should have hat the two Monday evening bubbles still full.
They were empty.
So what did my mother get, yesterday? She mentioned that an empty bubble pack got thrown out yesterday, but that would have been the one that was finished on Sunday. Did that one also have a full Tuesday’s pills in it? I hadn’t thought so. I had no reason to look too closely at that one.
Meanwhile, time went by and the home care aid didn’t arrive when she was scheduled. My mother started saying, oh, she doesn’t feel like coming today… She is convinced that when days are missed, it’s because the home care aids just don’t feel like doing her pills. Just her, though. She doesn’t believe that the rest of the people on their schedule list aren’t getting done, either.
Finally, I decided to call the number for the scheduler at about 9:45 (this is relevant) and left a message explaining that the aid had not arrived yet, and that I had to take my mother for blood work, so I would do her meds myself.
When I got home, I found a message on the answering machine. It was the scheduler, telling me they didn’t have anyone for my mother’s morning med assist.
The time stamp on the message was 10:01.
*facepalm*
Meanwhile, as we were going to the lab, my mother asked me to make sure I stayed to watch while her blood was being drawn. I asked why, as I’m always there, and she basically said, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. It took a few hours to drag out why she was asking, but the last time we went (In May, because the June one got missed when she got verbally abusive and I walked out), she said I had left to do my own thing – she was very accusatory about it – which I couldn’t remember at the time. While I was not there, she basically thinks the guy faked drawing her blood. She wanted me to be there today to watch and make sure he really did take her blood. Except it was a different person drawing the blood this time.
I brought up the telephone doctor’s appointment after the lab work was done, and she said there wasn’t one. So I brought up my calendar for May. There was my appointment to take her to the lab, then a week later, her follow up telephone appointment with the doctor. Which I remember, because there was nothing of concern with the results, so her assistant called and talked to us, instead. After the call was done, my mother’s comment was, so… the doctor didn’t want to talk to me…
My mother doesn’t remember that call.
I was flummoxed by my mother saying I had left her, but I did finally remember, after I got home. There was a time I’d taken her in, and I had my own requisitions for blood work and an EKG to be done. I wasn’t able to do the blook work, as it needed to be fasting, but I did get the EKG done. So that’s when she would have had her blood drawn while I wasn’t there. I was in another room, getting wired up.
So my mother believes the home care aids are not showing up to do her meds on purpose (she says they want her to die), and she thinks the tech that took her blood last time, faked taking her blood.
It was a very strange day with her, this time!
I had expected to do her grocery shopping after this was done, but she told me she didn’t need one. I asked more specifically about things and ended up getting her a few little things she was running out of. When I got back with the groceries, she had an envelope ready for me to make that had a prepaid envelop. She asked me to mail it for me, and insisted I take it in person, not just drop it in the mail box. The mail box apparently got stolen or vandalized once, some 10 years ago, so she refuses to use it.
By the time I left my mother’s it was just past 11.
It felt like it should have been much later!
She had her Meals on Wheels coming soon, so I left her to that.
Once home, the heat was really kicking in, and I had lots to do when it cooled down, so I did try to take a nap, after updating my siblings about the visit with my mother. I called the home care coordinator and left a message about some of the stuff, but she didn’t call back today. My daughter reminded me that I’ve been wanting to book an appointment with my doctor for this month, instead of next month, and requested a tandem appointment. She now has her own follow up to do, regarding her referral for a reduction mammoplasty. So we are now both booked in the middle of the month.
I have a field of vision test right after that, but I think I’ll have to reschedule. My daughter would have to drive me home, since they’ll have to dilate my eyes. That’ll be less than two weeks from her ganglion eviction, and she might not quite be up to driving quite yet.
Meanwhile, my husband has his first physio appointment at the new pain clinic tomorrow.
July is working out to be a very busy month for medical stuff!
Anyhow.
I am happy to day I did succeed in getting a nap in – I ended up sleeping almost 4 hours! The heat is really draining the energy out of me.
I did, however, get lots done in the garden this evening, once things started cooling down!
The Re-Farmer 