family

Better than expected!

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First, the cuteness!

I wasn’t fast enough in getting the picture I wanted. Ghosty and Tin Whistle were snuggled cheek to cheek and looking so absolutely adorable.

They still look adorable, of course.

This morning, I got a pleasant offer from my brother. He was planning to visit our mother today, and wanted to know if I wanted to go along. Since our truck is in the shop again, that meant extra driving to pick me up, then drop me off later. Of course, I accepted, since I have no way of knowing when we’ll get the truck back and I can visit her again.

It was a bonus for him, too. He got here earlier than he’s been able to in ages, which meant he had daylight to check on a few of their things and get some stuff done before we headed out. It was so warm today, I headed out early so I could scrap the sidewalk clear and get a few other things done outside. We hit 3C/37F, and I was absolutely overheating!

An unexpected extra reason for a joint visit popped up. I had talked to my brother about the check my mother gave me, to help with truck repairs. I wanted to be sure she would be okay before I tried to deposit it. He told me that it was fine and to deposit it as soon as possible. So I went to do a mobile deposit.

It didn’t work.

It turned out that when my mother tore the check out off the check book at the perforated line, a tiny piece of the check tore off. It had a bit of the account information on it. Not even a number, but part of the lines and bars around the numbers. So I was going to return it to her, voided, and – if she were still willing – we would help her write a new one.

My brother goes over my mother’s finances with her, regularly, and he was prepared to do that with her today, but he also had her new phone.

Yes, my 94 year old mother now has her own cell phone!

He chose one of the ones we were looking at on Amazon, and it arrived about a week ago. He also ordered a SIM card, but that never showed up. He ended up going to the phone company and, thanks to a deal he could get through his employer, he was also able to get a Senior’s plan for her, at a discount. The batteries were charged, with numbers pre-programmed, and it was ready to go. While we were driving, he had me get it out to test it by calling his cell phone. Which only worked once, because we kept losing signal. There are several cell phone dead zones just like we have at our place, all along this highway, even much closer to the city. Frustrating!

When we got to the TCU, my mother was in the common room with the same guy she’d introduced me to before, working on a jigsaw puzzle again. My mother introduced my brother and I to him and he volunteered to leave for a while, so we could have some privacy. Which was very kind of him.

Once settled in, my brother asked if she remembered about getting her her own phone. She did, so the next while was spent showing her the phone, the charging port, and showing her how to use it. The phone can actually do quite a lot, but all we could focus on was for her to be able to make and receive calls. Because of her vision declining, he made sure the phone he got did things like voice the numbers as she dialed them. The buttons are large enough that she had only minor issues in hitting the right ones. He showed her how to use the contacts list and got her to call my cell phone, then to manually dial to call our landline at the farm – I made sure to message the family that they were about to get a test call! Then, as a way to give our sister my mother’s new phone number, we got her to manually call my sister, too. I thought we might not get her, as she would normally have been at work, but it turned out she had called in sick and was able to answer. My mother could barely recognize her voice, with the cold she had!

There was a fair bit of confusion for my mother, but we managed to keep it low key so that she did not get completely overwhelmed. After a while, we went back to her room so the charging cradle could be set up next to her bed. We talked about how she should keep the phone with her, then set it on the cradle at night, or if she’s napping. I suggested I could make her a phone pouch so she could wear it around her neck. My brother, the excellent planner that he is, had already picked up a lanyard long enough, so now my mother can always have her phone on her.

My mother did start to worry about “what if’s”, and being able to call out on her own. We told her that even if she has issues, we can now phone her directly, and not have to go through the nursing station and get transferred to a cordless phone. That made her very happy. Then she was worried about knowing her own phone number. My brother had it hand written down for her, on the large print instructions he’d printed out for her so she could read it more easily. She had trouble reading the number, but not because of her vision. It was because it wasn’t written out the way it was “supposed” to be. Mostly with the 7’s. Sevens must have a line across them. Without that, she couldn’t tell the difference between a 7 and a 1, she said. Which didn’t make much sense under the circumstances, but it was a simple matter to just add the marks she insisted the numbers had to have! In the end, she was quite happy with the phone, which was a huge relief.

Next, my brother went over her finances with her. That is it’s own challenge, as she has trouble understanding some things, and kept asking about things he just didn’t get a chance to get to, yet. He kept having to back her up to go over things he needed to show her first. Some of it involved having to explain why her “rent” is so high – it includes her meals, medications, etc. Everything they do for her. The check she wrote to our vandal was in the list on his printouts for her, and he took the time to explain to her that she had to be very careful writing large checks like that, or she won’t have enough to pay her accommodation charges.

Which was a good time to return her check to me, for the truck repairs. We explained what happened, and made sure to void it out in front of her, and my brother kept it for her files. After seeing her numbers, I was much more comfortable accepting the money. Once she understood what the problem was, she was quick to send me to get her purse for a replacement check. I wrote it out for her, she signed it, then my brother stopped her from tearing the check out, so he could very carefully do it for her – after clearing the remaining bit of the first check she wrote to me, still attached to the checkbook!

There were a few other things we needed to talk to her about. One of them, my brother had brought up during the drive out. He had needed her photo ID in order to do some things on her behalf, and he told me she only had her citizenship card. Which made no sense to me at all! I knew that, when she turned in her driver’s license, years ago, she immediately went through the process of getting a photo ID instead. The photo IDs look almost identical to the driver’s licenses. I’ve seen it. I knew she had it. But when my brother asked for her ID to use for some of things he was doing for her, she showed him the citizenship card.

So we asked her about that, and she brought out her citizenship card again. It’s a modern, laminated plastic card, but her photo on it is many decades old! My mother made a big deal about how important this card was, but didn’t understand that it was pretty much useless as an ID, if only because her picture on it is so old.

Her photo ID, it turned out, was hidden behind the citizenship card. I got it out and my brother took pictures of it, as the bank was going to need it. It took a while before I could put it back, because my mother had the holder and kept going on about her citizenship card and how important it was, looking at it, taking it out, putting it back in. Eventually, we were able to get the photo ID back in the holder, making sure that it was visible.

Which is when a thought struck me, and I took a closer look.

It expired three years ago. She needs a new one!

This would be beyond my mother right now, but my brother is going to see what he can do to get her a new one. It’s got the wrong address on it, anyhow, but what could we use as an address now? She’s not going to be living here permanently!

My brother said he would figure it out. The main thing is, he got pictures of it and can use it for what’s needed, now.

The necessary things done with, we got to just plain visit for a while. My mother had asked me to bring a cross for her, which I did, and it’s now hanging on the wall where she can see it from her bed. There were hooks already there that I could use. Her room mate had company, one of whom brought two big, very chill, very well behaved dogs. My mother wasn’t happy about that, but she hates having dogs and cats indoors at the best of times. It wasn’t an issue, though, since we were going back to the common room. Before her guests arrived, though, my mother’s room mate was walking back and forth with her walker in the hallway. My mother was absolutely convinced that she was doing it to listen in on our conversation.

Overall, the entire visit went way better than expected. My brother was really worried Mom would lose it over the phone. That’s her typical response when he gets things for her, no matter how much she actually needs it. The last time I saw her, she would go on about how we needed to get her out of there and would start crying off and on. This time, she still had some complaints, but actually seemed to be in a good mood. She was happy that her friend from church had come to give her Communion, like he used to while she was still in her apartment. At my mother’s request, he will arrange with the priest to come and hear her confession before Easter, so she was happy about that, too.

We were able to stay for quite a while, but my brother checked the weather and realized we needed to head out. There was a storm on the way, and he still had to drive me home, first. The storm won’t hit us, though we’re expecting to get snow overnight, but it’s supposed to pass right over where my brother lives.

He messaged me to let me know when he got safely home, just as the snow was kicking in. Good timing!

As he dropped me off at the gate, he mentioned that we need a people gate. I told him, we were planning to make one, and I told him about my plans to make an arbor to make it look pretty, to have plants growing on it, and about where I was intending to set it up. It turned out we are very much on the same page about this, and he suggested it’s a project we can work on this summer.

Now that they no longer have their own acreage, and all his equipment is out here, we will finally be able to get some things done! He’s planning to set up an office in their mobile home, so he can stay out here, work from home, then work on things out here in the evenings.

Knowing him, I expect to have to struggle to keep up! I also expect we will learn a lot from him, and I really look forward to finally being able to get things done. There was so much we expected to be able to do when we moved out here, and had this whole 5 year plan. So much of it went out the window. We knew it would be a lot, but none of us realized just how bad things had gotten, and how many of the tools and equipment our vandal had taken.

This summer is going to be very, very different, that’s for sure!

Right now, though, I’m just focused on getting through this winter, and hopefully having reliable transportation soon!

Meanwhile, we were both really happy with our visit with Mom today. She seemed to be so much better today, and I think having both of us there at the same time really helped with that. She even got to talk to my sister on her new phone, and seemed quite delighted that she could do it!

All in all, it’s been a very good day.

The Re-Farmer

Here we go again… again

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Funny how things can go so wrong – yet go so right, at the same time!

First off, I am seriously glad I cancelled both my own doctor’s appointment, yesterday, and my daughter’s on Monday, because of concerns about road conditions.

Second, it’s amazing how there were the right people available at the right time, and even the right places.

The truck just got towed to the garage again.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but my first warning of a problem was while backing out of the garage, to load it for a dump run. I wasn’t going to drive up to the house, but I at least wanted to back up closer to the cleared path to the chain link fence. As I was backing up, the truck basically stopped moving. I knew there was a snow bank I needed to clear and I thought I might have backed into it. I tried to get out in 2 wheel drive at first, then switch to 4 wheel drive, but eventually was able to pull forward while in 2 wheel drive and didn’t try backing up again. As I went to the house, though, I could see by the tracks that I never got anywhere near the snow bank. It was just loose snow over ice, and no traction.

My daughter and I loaded up the truck, and then I headed out. Things were really slippery on the gravel road, but once I was on the highway, it was fine.

It was slippery on the gravel road to the dump, but not too bad. I drove up to the booth to show my access card number, but there was no one there. The guy was at the pit area, using a front end loader to clear up the driving area in front. So I went to the recycling bins first and unloaded there, before heading to the pit. I did notice, every time I tried to move, everything was very slippery and the tires were spinning more than usual before I could get traction.

At the pit, I drove further in, to where it was already cleared, then turned to one side, so that I could back up to the pit and unload.

I got stuck.

Tires spinning, no motion.

I tried a few times in 2 wheel drive, then drive both 4 wheel drive settings. I could move forward slightly, but no traction in reverse.

At one point, the guy with the front end loader passed in front of me, clearing way more snow. I hoped that would help, but it didn’t.

After a while, he came out to talk to me. He made a comment about this being a problem with 2 wheel drive. I told him, I’m in 4 wheel drive! He said that only my rear wheels were turning, not the front wheels. !!!

I tried again, setting it to 2 wheel drive, and the front tires started to spin – but now I started getting messages on my dash. Stabilizers Off. Then Service 4 Wheel Drive.

The truck was not moving.

The guy then said he would try to find some cardboard or drywall or something to put behind the tires. I got my handy garden cultivator that we keep in the truck as a grabber, and used it to scratch up the ice behind each tire.

He found some drywall pieces and set them behind the tires, then suggested something to me, assuring me that he’s done it before, and would be safe. He said that he could try standing on the tail gate and bouncing the truck up and down while I reversed, so help it gain traction. So we did that, and it worked! Once I got far enough out, the tires were no longer spinning and I could back up normally.

He then helped me unload the garbage bags. When it was done, he said he would follow me out to make sure I got out okay.

So awesome!

Once I got on the gravel road, though, I could feel the truck starting to fishtail, and I kept having to slow down. The “slippery conditions” light was on continuously. By the time I got to the stop sign and started braking to stop, I started getting
“stabilizer is off” and “traction is off” messages. As slow as I was going, the truck fishtailed to a stop.

Once on the highway and starting to accelerate, it started again.

That shuddering that, until now, only happened while in 4 wheel drive or auto.

I quickly pulled over. After putting it in park, I thought I would just try again and started to move forward again, but the shuddering immediately started.

So I parked, turned on my hazards and got to work.

This is what WordPress AI thinks my truck looks like. No rust. 😄

First was to try and message the family but, for some reason, my phone hasn’t been able to send messages while on data only. So I phoned home and left a message (I knew no one would be close enough to get to the phone before the answering machine kicked in). Then I called CAA.

Thankfully, this time, after going through the initial answering system, it went straight to a live person. The only difficulty there was, they need a physical address. I was on the side of the highway. There was, however, a driveway a short distance away, so I walked over until I could read their driveway marker number. I knew the tow truck drive would be able to find us, but CAA needed a physical address.

That done, I tried to message my brother and his wife, but it wouldn’t send. After some searching in my phone, I found a setting that, for some reason, was off, so my phone was trying to connect to the internet through my phone’s web browser, instead of through a data signal. I’ve never seen this setting before, so this must have been part of the latest OS update.

That done, I could finally send messages, and even look at the CAA map to follow the driver. Not that I was going to use it much, since it’s all open highway. I would be able to see the tow truck from a mile or more away.

Then it was time to wait.

I even had a couple of vehicles slow down beside me to check if I was okay, which was really nice.

I did get a call from the tow truck driver as soon as he got the CAA notice. We talked about my exact location, which side of the highway I was on, etc. He then asked if I would be riding in with him. That was when I asked about the possibility of getting a ride home. He would have to go past the turn to our place anyhow, and we were only 2 miles out of the way.

Also, just one mile past his sister’s place, at the large animal rescue. So he had no problem knowing where I was, and agreed to drive me home along the way.

Which is so extra appreciated, as it turns out my brother wouldn’t have been able to come out – they were on their way to an event in another town – and my sister and her husband might not have been able to, because today is the Sabbath, and their “church” is pretty strict about that sort of thing. Helping me out might have been okay, though. Still, it would have been at least an hour for them to reach me, or they would have to meet me at the garage. Which closes at 1pm on Saturdays.

So that was something else that fell into place.

While we were driving, I told the driver about what happened and what warnings I was seeing. I had left a message on the company phone, but I was able to give him more details this way.

He asked questions about the mileage and stuff, and I told him a bit about the many very odd and unpredictable problems we’ve been having, as well as how this shuddering thing would come and go, and they could never find the cause. It would work fine while they were testing it. He laughed about that part, because he understood completely. He has that happen with his own vehicles! He even brought up that, for the potential cost, first for how much time it might take to find the problem, then the repairs themselves, it might be better to trade it in. I told him that I’ve already been talking to his brother about that, but we still have almost 3 years of payments on it. He assured me, his brother would be able to help us (he even mentioned that, for regular customers, he can do payment arrangements for work done). I brought up that we (my brother and I) have been talking about including my mother’s car as a trade in, but it was suggested we could get a better price by selling it ourselves. I said that’s not something I would feel up to doing, but my brother suggested we could sell it on consignment.

It turns out, our mechanic does sell on consignment!! Plus, we could probably do better that way, since it would be highly visible on the lot.

Something to work out. I co-own my mother’s car, as I needed at least partial ownership to be able to register and insure it. My brother was able to arrange that, as my mother’s PoA. If we do work out something to sell it, it might be easier for him to make me full owner, so he wouldn’t have to come out and sign things on my mother’s behalf.

But I’m getting ahead of myself on that.

Oh, and I did get complimented on the fact that I understood the risks of buying a high mileage vehicle. He said that he’s had quite a few people he’s towed that got high mileage vehicles, then would be really angry and upset because things were wearing out and breaking down. I told him, we knew the risks, but it was what we could afford – and his brother really went above and beyond to help us with the financing (I’m still convinced he sold it to us at a loss). I actually love the truck. It’s the vehicle we need, but all these weird break downs are just too expensive on a fixed income. I told him about some of our past experiences with the high mileage Uplander we had previously, which did remarkably well for us until we finally sold it for scrap. I then mentioned, the vehicle I liked the most was the Dodge Caravan. He perked right up on that. He said that the Caravan is one of the safest vehicles. He told me he’s rolled a bunch of them for the fire department, and has had one roll 10 times, and still not be crushed. !!!

How does one even get a job like that? 😄

As we were driving down the gravel road to our place, I suggested to him that he could drop me off in the intersection, rather than go to our driveway. With the walls of snow, the driveway is pretty tight for such a large vehicle, and he wouldn’t have room to turn around. He appreciated that! Once he got the tow truck turned around, it also gave him a chance to double check the straps securing the truck before he headed to the garage, and I walked the rest of the way home.

As much of a pain this break down is, it couldn’t have happened better.

I had been thinking of doing our Walmart and Canadian Tire run after my medical appointment, yesterday. Because I cancelled that, due to the weather, we didn’t have this happen while we were much, much further from home. Instead, it was only about 10-15 minutes from home.

We did get our Costco stock up shop done. We got the cat food donation. I got our lysine picked up from the feed store. We are good for some time. I even managed to get the dump run done before the break down. Yes, we still need to do our Walmart and Canadian Tire run, but neither of those are urgent. More importantly, I got a visit in with my mother.

I’d already cancelled my daughter’s medical appointment on Monday, just in case, so we won’t be needing to phone to cancel on the day of the appointment.

There was the guy at the dump, able to help me out.

Our regular garage now does CAA towing, and the driver is our mechanic’s brother, so not only do they know the area and could find me where I was, but I knew that anything I told him about what was going on would actually get to our mechanic. Plus, he was able to give me more information and assurances about other things, like that we might be able to get my mother’s car sold on consignment through the garage.

In the end, I have many blessings to count. For something that went wrong, it couldn’t possibly have gone more right in the process.

The Re-Farmer

Finally got a visit in

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Yes, I finally made it to visit my mother at the new TCU today! The truck even behaved normally the whole time. 😄

But first, the cuteness!

I got home late enough to do the evening feeding, and couldn’t resist getting a picture of this fluffy beauty.

Zoomed in from a distance, because she? he? is pretty feral and none of us have been able to get close. It does come into the sun room to snuggle with other cats and eat, so that’s encouraging, at least.

I headed out to visit my mother shortly past noon. I made sure to check on the truck before hand, and the clock still showed the right time, and even the door chime dinged appropriately, so whatever gremlin we’ve got in the electrical seems to be napping.

While today was warmer, we’ve been having intermittent snow and “snow showers” throughout the day. The highway was good, though, and while visibility was reduced, it wasn’t by much – at least not while I was on the road.

When I got to the hospital, I went into the wing I thought my mother was in, but it turns out the TCU was in a completely different wing. I did get to see what the long term car section looked like, though. While at the nursing station, looking for someone, I saw a lot of seniors all over, and several of them demanded to know why I was there and what I wanted! Thankfully, a staff member (a janitor, I think) showed up. I told her who I was there to see, and she knew my mother’s name, then led me through the hospital to the wing my mother was in.

I’d brought some stuff my mother requested, including more Pepto. There was someone at the nursing station, and I was able to leave it with her.

I also had a chance to ask about the photos my brother left of our vandal and my sister. Our vandal has visited a couple of times already, and my mother’s been there for just over a week. I was able to let her know that the last time he was there, he ended up with a check for a substantial amount. This is one of the issues with him; he’s managed to get many thousands of dollars our of my mother over the years. In this case, the check was written out by his wife for my mother to sign. I made sure to say, this was just so they know it happened, not that I was trying to blame anyone. Knowing my mother, she probably didn’t need a lot of persuasion and may well has suggested it herself.

The nurse I spoke to took some notes about it, so other stiff will be aware. I also talked a bit about my sister, as they would have her photo, too. I explained that with her, it’s more that both our vandal and my mother can manipulate her so easily. She has caused problems by going along with them when she should have said no.

Then I had to ask which room my mother was in. I had it in one of my family group messages, but couldn’t get a connection to look it up. It turned out I wasn’t even able to send updates to my family, either.

The nurse told me where to go, and I soon found my mother. She has the bed against the window, but her room mate had her curtain completely closed, so I wasn’t interrupting anyone else.

The visit was… difficult.

We started to talk, but there was some banging going on down the hall. I starting going through the bag of things I’d brought for her, but she was very disturbed. She moved to sit in a chair and started to tell me where to put things, then started to cry (it may even have been partially genuine) and complain about it, saying I had to get her out of there. She brought up the banging, and thought her room mate was doing it. !! I said no, there’s some sort of construction or repairs happening. My mother said we could go to somewhere more private and let me to the common room.

Which was directly across the hall from the banging.

At the time, a workman was using a chisel on the edge of a door for what turned out to be the installation of a keypad locking assembly.

The common room clearly had been a hospital room in the past and wasn’t particularly big, but it was in the corner of the wing, so it had two big windows and lots of light. Someone in a wheelchair was at a table working on a jigsaw puzzle. My mother introduced us. She has her own favourite armchair, right in the corner between the two windows, with a hospital bed table. She told me she eats her meals there.

We started talking and she kept telling me how terrible things where and how much she wanted to get out of there. She made it sound like the banging was happening all the time (the work on the door would have started just today), and talking. Apparently, her room mate sleeps all day and talks to herself all night. Which is curious, since both my brother and my sister have said they’ve talked to her during their daytime visits and found her very nice. After a while, the guy working on the puzzle started to leave, and my mother thanked him for the privacy.

As we talked for the next while, my mother was all over the place. She went from complaining about the noise and how she has all this money, but is stuck living there (I told her, everyone else there is in the same situation as her, regardless of money), to talking about how my sister should visit more often (she’s visited my mother twice in the first week), and even complained about my brother and his wife giving her an Easter card. Now. A month ahead of Easter, so that means they’re not planning to visit her on Easter. I reminded her, they are going on a pilgrimage. They’re going to be overseas. When are the leaving? I don’t know. How long will they be gone? For weeks! They’re going to be walking very far! She scoffed, but seemed to realize complaining that they were going on a pilgrimage for Easter wasn’t probably not a good idea! It didn’t stop her from claiming my brother was “running away” from her (he’s visited her more often than I have!), and so on.

I do think I was able to get her to calm down about things a bit. I tried talking about how this was temporary, and just one step to getting her to where she wants to be, and how the system works. She didn’t like that, but she also started to get upset because someone else came into the room and sat in one of the armchairs behind me. She kept glaring at him over my shoulder, and making comments about him being there while she had company. I kept reminding her, this is a public room!

At one point, she started to get things out of her purse, then got up to leave, telling me to wait for her. It turned out she had gone into the hall to talk to the guy working on the door, complaining about the noise, saying it was making her go deaf (my mother’s hearing is better than mine) and started crying again. He told her he was almost done and it wouldn’t be much longer, so she came back in.

I had hoped she had forgotten, but my mother got out her checkbook. She said, she wanted to pay for the work on the truck. !!! I tried to defer, but she insisted. I admit, she was generous about it, in her own way. Normally, she would ask for exactly how much it cost, then write out for an amount to the penny, or somewhat less. She didn’t even ask how much it cost, but told me to how much to write it out for so she could sign it. It will mostly cover the cost of the repairs.

I’m not going to deposit it until I’ve checked with my brother. He manages her accounts very well on her behalf. At one point, she asked me how much was in her account, thinking my brother told her. I said, I have no idea. It’s none of my business! I’m not sure if she approved of that, or was angry I didn’t know. 😄

We talked some more about her living situation and getting her into somewhere permanent. It’s frustrating to simply not know. In the end, it’s the government that decides, through the health care system. We have no say in the matter, but now that she’s in the system, it should work out better than trying to get where she wants to be from outside the system.

I noticed my mother had her rosary around her neck, so I suggested she pray the rosary. She said it gets hard to pray (referring to her own mental function; she does recognize that she is having increased cognitive issues). I reminded her that God doesn’t need words to know what she is praying for. I suggested that, if she starts feeling really anxious, to even just hold the cross on her rosary and use that to keep her mind on God. I couldn’t remember the exact words at the time, but reminded her of Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. (yes, I had to look it up – I remember the words, not the chapter and verse! 😄) She immediately knew the verse I was referring to, and it really seemed to perk her up. So we held hands and prayed together, and that seemed to help her a lot more.

Eventually, though, I had to head out, as I knew the roads would not be very good for long. She walked with me to the door. One of the things we’d talked about was the vitamin for her dry macular degeneration, and I’d explained that I made the calls to get a prescription faxed to the nursing station. She said she wasn’t getting them yet, so I said I would ask. Thankfully, because she walked me out, it helped me remember – and I’m glad I did!

They never got the prescription.

We talked for a while, and I said I would call the optometrist where she got the original prescription from and find out what was happening. I was concerned about my mother walking back on her own using her walker, but one of the nurses had seen us and was waiting. She assured me she would get my mother to her room okay.

From there, I made a stop at the gas station to update the family. Not to get gas, though. While I was visiting with my mother, the gas prices went from $1.359 to $1.419!

I’m glad I left when I did, as conditions were starting to worsen, but I got home okay – and the truck behaved the whole time.

As soon as I was settled in, I made a bunch of calls. Apparently, the prescription for my mother’s eye vitamin did get faxed, yesterday. In the end, the receptionist I spoke to said she would try and print out what she had in her system and fax it again, as the optometrist was working a different location until next week. Some time later, I got a call from the TCU letting me know they got it. She then explained that this vitamin comes in two forms. A soft gel, which my mother was getting in her bubble packs, and a tablet form. They only get the tablet form. If my mother wants the soft gel, we would have to provide it. I explained that, with my mother, she believes that because they look different, it’s the wrong medicine – she believes that of all her medications – and that we’ve tried to explain it to her. I said to give her the tablets for now (I don’t want her to go without it, as she is complaining about vision loss), and to explain to her what that specific tablet is. We’ll see how she does with that, for now. If necessary, we’ll have to get something set up with the local pharmacy for those.

I’m glad I finally made it to visit my mother, but it’s so frustrating. I understand why she’s not happy there, and absolutely understand her desire for more quiet. It’s part of what we like about living in the boonies, after all! At the same time, I know my mother well enough to know that a lot of this is self inflicted. My mother is one of those people that always sees the worst in others, and interprets things in their worst possible light. I remember when my father when through a lot of this, and at every stage, he was always so thankful, so grateful, to the people around him, whether it was the home care aids or the nursing home staff. He always let them know how much he appreciated them for how well they took care of him. Every time I called him, he would go on about how great they all were. My mother? She’s the complete opposite, most of the time, and it’s not getting any better as she gets older. In fact, the only person she will speak highly of these days is…

Yup. Our vandal. She says, they’re getting along good now. I reminded her of that last letter he wrote to her, and the horrible things he said to her, and that he hasn’t stopped. He may be behaving around her when his wife is around, but he’s still doing things (I didn’t tell her about him driving by while I was shoveling out the plow ridge, slowing down to a crawl at the end of the driveway). She thinks he’s changed. I said, I hope so, but he’s why my late brother’s two kids now say they want nothing to do with our family, thanks to his lying about us. She dropped the subject.

All we can do is hope she can finally get to the nursing home she wants to be in, but I’m starting to wonder if she’ll even be happy there. There will be people talking in the halls. There will be noise. At least she’ll have her own room, though. Maybe that will be enough.

We shall see.

Nothing else we can do. It’s all up to the system…

… and the system sucks.

The Re-Farmer

No, I’m not crazy

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It’s a good thing I have such a good relationship with our garage, or they would think I AM crazy!

But first, the cuteness.

This morning, my daughters told me I needed to very quietly go over to my husband’s room and check out his hospital bed.

I found Big Rig, in her natural habitat.

Burrowed under his covers and using a neck pillow for her chin.

A couple of hours later, my husband sent this photo. Cheddar and…

…

He said the paw disappeared right after he took the photo. 😄😄

On to the weirdness of the day.

Today, I had an afternoon appointment to get the truck looked at again. When I headed out – very early – I found the console display was still working, but the warning dings from the door still weren’t happening. I didn’t even try to test it out on 4 wheel drive, though. I was already stressed out. Whether the shuddering was happening or not happening, it wasn’t going to alleviate that stress.

When I got to the garage and dropped off the key, I spent time some time talking to the owner. I told him what was working and still not working, and that I hadn’t tested the 4 wheel drive (he understood why not!). We talked about the battery, and the possibility of there being something draining the battery while it’s parked. The battery is only 2 years old. He said some batteries only last that long. We got it from him, though. It wasn’t the highest end battery, but it’s far from the lowest end, either. We also talked about the cold potentially affecting it, and I remembered to tell him when we first had an issue with the battery, early in the winter.

Then I was off.

I walked across town (all 5 or 6 blocks) and had lunch, then walked the last couple of blocks to the beach. The ice fishing village is still there.

There was also heavy equipment clearing the snow to make roads and open areas on the ice. I seem to recall seeing fliers for some sort of ice event coming up.

Clearly, the ice on the lake is still incredibly thick!

Then I started walking back, stopping at a few places long the way. I even remembered to stop at the pharmacy and get our printouts to do our taxes. My husband finally got his second T4A, so we can do that now. My daughter will be able to claim prescriptions on her taxes for the first time. I couldn’t get her pharmacy records without her permission (I have a signed document so I can get my husband’s, every year), but I was able to arrange for it to be included with her prescription delivery later in the week. This will be the first year for both my daughter and I that we can claim the Disability Tax Credit.

By the time I got back to the garage, it was about 45 minutes past my appointment time. The truck was still in the garage and the mechanic was about to take it out for a test drive to see if it was still doing that shuddering thing while in 4 wheel drive. I suggested he try it in the grocery store parking lot, rather than the highway, since it seems to be triggered in slippery conditions.

The mechanic asked me about the door chime. I told him it still wasn’t working when I drove over.

It’s working now.

???!!!

They didn’t do anything. It was simply working when he drove it into the garage.

When talking to the owner, he said he could even hear it from his office when the truck was driven in, and the mechanic got out, leaving the keys in the ignition.

I told him, when I parked in their lot, it still wasn’t working.

Like I said, it’s a good thing we have a good relationship. If I say it wasn’t working, he doesn’t doubt me. It’s just so very strange!!!

He told me he tested the battery himself.

It’s fine. No sign of any problems.

We talked about that for a bit, and he told me of a possibility that had occurred to me when I was first driving the truck home and realized the console display wasn’t working. It is likely that when the battery got low enough, it started shutting off anything unnecessary that was using power. With some vehicles, once the battery drops below a certain threshold, you can’t even start them until it’s been charged again. Once I recharged the battery on Sunday, that would have allowed the console display to start working again. Why the door chime didn’t start working again until today, we don’t know, but it’s likely related.

Around then, the mechanic came back with the truck, parking it just outside the bay doors. Watching the cameras, we saw him step out, look at the camera, raise both hands and just shrug.

It was working fine.

I told him about needing to drive into the city, and various other things I need to drive to, and he said it should be fine. Driving is good. Sitting parked is not. I do know that, but I try to avoid driving in winter in particular.

I did remember to ask for a price on the light on the back of the cab that I idiotically broke because the garage door wasn’t open far enough. He started to look it up and then said, get it from Amazon. I will get a better price there. Then, once I have it, I can bring the truck back and he’ll install it for me. I asked if he had a part number and he said just to look up, third brake light.

I even got to talk to the mechanic a bit as I was going to the truck. He also assured me that it should be fine for all the driving I need to do.

From there, I drove across to the grocery store, then updated my family. There were just a few things I wanted to pick up for today because, tomorrow, my daughter and I will be finally doing the Costco run! I plan to go to the older location we’ve been going to for years, instead of the new location on the other side of the city, as the old location is right next to a Canadian Tire.

Just in case something goes wrong. Because I’m still absolutely paranoid about the truck! 😄

Right now, though, not only has all the recent weird stuff gone away on its own, but so has the tire warning stuff that’s been there for so very long.

Which means that truck is actually better now than it was before, with no one having actually done anything but do lots of testing and checking.

For that, all I can say is, Thank you, God.

When I got home, I texted the garage about the tire warnings that have been there for so long, now being gone. He said, it must be a ghost! 😄😄 They’d had trouble getting readings off the sensors the last time I brought the truck in for the front tires to be worked on. They checked all four sensors because of those warnings. I remember watching four guys going from tire to tire, looking perplexed at their device’s screen. We had originally thought it was because the batteries might have died or something, but clearly, that cannot be the case! The main thing was that the tires themselves were fine.

So that’s where we are at now. The truck is home, and we’ve got a lot of driving to get caught up on things that should have been done a while ago.

Since we are finally going to be going to the city tomorrow, I’ve contacted the person from the rescue that picked up Kohl from us, taking the carrier with her. The sun room cats have knocked one of the carriers off its shelf a few times too many and it can’t be clocked shut anymore, so we need to get the carrier back. The carrier is now with someone else, and we’ve just arranged to meet along the way tomorrow morning, before she gets to work. We’ll be leaving quite a bit earlier than usual, but that’s okay.

Now it’s stock up shopping, doctor’s appointments, dump runs, runs to the feed store and, of course, finally getting to visit my mother! Once again, we are now the closest to where she is.

Oh, and our vandal and his wife have already visited her twice since she’s been transferred to the current TCU. The staff there have been warned about him, and yet… today, my brother told me that a check just went through my mother’s account. A check for a substantial amount of money, made out to our vandal and written out by our vandal’s wife for my mother to sign (my mother can no longer write checks out herself), dated just a few days ago. This is one of the reasons why we didn’t want our vandal to be able to have access to my mother without supervision. The problem is, they can’t have a staff member just hang out in the room with them. So, they managed to somehow guilt my mother into throwing money at our vandal again. The crazy thing is, while she has been able to help out with paying for things at the farm, even things she offered to pay for in advance, she does things like try to back out, or tries to use it as a way to control us, or guilt us, and makes a big deal over the fact that she “helped”. Which she has never done, when it comes to our vandal. And there’s nothing we can do about it, as long as her cognitive decline is as relatively mild as it is now. She isn’t at the state where my brother, as PoA, becomes wholly responsible to act on her behalf in that regard. At least we were able to get the doctor at the hospital to agree, officially in her file, that my mother cannot sign legal documents, and that if she is convinced to do so, it would not be legally binding. I don’t think that quite applies to writing checks.

Meanwhile, my mother says she wants me to bring her some of her cash stash she asked me to hang on to for her. Most of which got deposited into her account, which my brother explained to her when going over her finances recently, but she still thinks I have all of. She has no need for money where she is, and we don’t know where the money she had before went to. Sure, she sometimes insisted I take some cash for gas, but almost never enough to actually cover the cost of gas. A few bucks here and there. We did learn she tried to give money to staff at the hospital to basically bribe them to pay more attention to her, but never managed to actually give them any (that probably would have gotten them fired). I guess now we know where the rest of her cash went to.

We also know why our vandal and his wife have been finding ways to visit her so often, even though he’s supposedly at death’s door right now.

*sigh*

It is so hard to protect my mother, when she works so hard to sabotage our efforts.

Anyhow.

Visiting my mother is on the list of things I need to do, now that I’ve been assured the truck has been checked and rechecked and everything is running just fine.

Time to get things done.

The Re-Farmer

So tired

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What a day.

After three days of shoveling and snow blowing, my daughters made sure to let me know that they would take care of the cat stuff, inside and out, this morning. Much appreciated, as we did reach that -31C/-24F last night. I don’t know what the wind chills were at the time, but from the weather reports I read this morning, we did get wind chills of -45C/-49F during the night.

Sleeping in a bit past sunrise was nice, at least.

Then I headed down stairs to check on the seedlings. I heard the septic pump running and went to the old basement to check on things.

I found water on the floor.

Not a lot, and with how uneven the floor is around there, it wasn’t quite clear where it was coming from at first. Then I opened the access pipe, and found it full of liquid and toilet paper.

I uncovered the floor drain and it was backed up to there, too, though not to overflowing.

*sigh*

What a way to start the day.

Thankfully, that commercial drain auger we got is enough to punch through such clogs without bothering to even plug it in. It’s the bottleneck somewhere between the basement and the tank that was the issue again. Thankfully, I caught it as early as I did.

Once I got through the clog, I switched to the old garden hose that’s missing its end. I don’t even bother to take it off the tap that used to be the cold water tap for the washing machine before the laundry got moved upstairs. The hose just gets hung up on hooks from the floor joists above.

The next part took longer. The drain from the weeping tile goes through past the floor drain and into the access pipe. It was blocked all the way, and took quite a bit of work with the hose to flush it all out. Then the concrete floor got hosed down and cleaned up.

Great fun.

Not.

My goal of the day was to work on clearing snow from the inner yard, though I also wanted to put the charger on the truck battery. We’ve had issues with it being low before and, with the cold we’ve been having, I had my concerns.

It took me a long time to get my act together and get back outside.

The first thing I had to do was get the extension cords running out the back door of the garage, for better reach.

What is is about extension cords? How can an inanimate object seem so determined to actively try to trip and injure? Granted, with the cold, the cords aren’t as flexible so there are plenty of loops that don’t want to straighten out, but those loops were constantly finding ways to wrap around my feet!

Then I could get little Spewie out the back door before heading back in to hook up the charger. Then I had to drag Spewie through the snow. It might have been easier to just pick it up and carry it!

Finally, all set up, plugged in and ready to go!

Nope.

As soon as I heard the off sound, I stopped it immediately. The auger wouldn’t turn, but the motor was trying to get it to!

I tried to turn it manually, which normally is easy, but it would not move.

I did make sure to brush it off when I put it in the garage last night, but I think somewhere in the workings, something froze and it keeping the auger from turning.

I didn’t have the time or energy to fuss with it.

It was going to have to all be shoveled by hand.

*sigh*

I’d already used the shovel and ice scraper to break up the more drifted areas that I knew were too packed or deep for little Spewie, so those were still handy.

I didn’t quite get it all, though.

I focused on clearing the area closest to the house. Then I cleared the most drifted areas along the sides, as well as clearing to the outhouse and to the litter compost behind it. I took it slow and careful. Given my physical state by then, I knew I was at higher risk of hurting myself. What I didn’t clear wasn’t deep enough to cause problems for the truck.

I hope.

Part way through, the battery reached full charge and I pause to put that away. I didn’t bring my key, so I didn’t check on the console display. I’ll do that tomorrow. I plan to call the garage as early as I can and see if I can swing by. I’m about 80% sure it’s just a fuse. I don’t have a fuse tester and even if I did, the last time I tried to check the fuse box, shortly after we bought the truck, I couldn’t get it open. It’s supposed to easily pop off. There isn’t supposed to be any sort of trick to it. I just wasn’t able to do it. I even got our mechanic to show me how. He got it off not problem, without doing anything different than I had. I’m obviously missing something, but I’ve no idea what. I mentioned that to my brother. His response was, YouTube is your friend.

YouTube is not my friend.

I did later try to look, searching specifically for the 2011 Sierra. I got videos on how to find the fuse box – with I already know – and what’s inside, a video on how to test fuses, but nothing on how to open it. Then I found lots and lots of videos on the Silverado and various other makes and models of trucks that had nothing to do with my search terms.

I just don’t have the energy to work it out.

Taking it easy did mean I was out there for quite a while. When I was done, it was late enough that I went ahead and did the evening cat feeding before heading in.

I am so tired.

One of the things I wanted to do before it got too late in the day was to call my mother. I was rather dreading it. I knew she’d be asking when I would visit next, which I probably won’t do until I at least talk to our mechanic, first. I knew that if I told her that, she would start giving me a hard time again. She doesn’t understand anything about vehicles, which is fine, but that doesn’t stop her from demanding explanations for things she can’t grasp, then making sure I know exactly what a failure of a human being she thinks I am for having any problems at all.

Still, I knew I had better call. My brother and his wife had visited her yesterday, so I knew she was struggling with things. My SIL said she was seeming pretty depressed. She doesn’t like where she is, even though she just got there and there are activities that she didn’t have access to while in the hospital, and the other TCU didn’t seem to have at all. Life is not meeting her expectations. She had told them, she has all this money, but not even a bed to call her own.

She doesn’t have a lot of money, really. What she has may have been considered a lot, 70 years ago, but our dollar is worth so much less today, it really wouldn’t get her very far. It certainly can’t buy her way into the nursing home she wants to be in, either.

My SIL said she asked my mother if she maybe wanted her own little house here at the farm, like her mother had when living on my aunt’s farm, before she moved here for her final years. My mother said no. She isn’t able to take care of herself on her own anymore.

Anyhow.

I called her up and she did sound rather down, right from the start. I asked how she was doing and she said I probably didn’t want to hear it. She was also in the common room with other people around, so she wouldn’t have wanted to talk about it. They did leave shortly after, though. She then started telling me about how she has such a tiny bed (?? it would be a standard size hospital bed), such a tiny space in her shared room, there’s always noise and TV and talking and laughing… No peace. No privacy.

She’s been there for less than a week.

We talked about how this is temporary and hopefully, she will soon get transferred to the nursing home she wants to be in. I did remind her, thought, that there will be noise in the nursing home, too. She would have her own room, though. If nothing else, she could close her door.

I did confirm that she got communion today, and it was brought to her by the same guy that was bringing it to her when she had her apartment. She was happy about that, at least.

Of course, she started asking me when I would come to visit. I told her I did get the truck home and got stuck in our own driveway, because there was so much blowing snow. I then mentioned that there was something else that I needed to get checked, even though the truck seems to be running fine. As expected, she started demanding explanations and started giving me a hard time about it. I basically just cut that off and changed the subject. I told her, I just don’t know when I’ll be able to visit, but I would let her know before I do. She did make sure to tell me what she wanted me to bring to her when I do make it out.

*sigh*

She told me she had been able to get her short wave radio set up and working. My brother had tried to set it up while she was in the hospital but just couldn’t get a signal. It was even worse in the first TCU, but where she is now, she can get a signal. She was looking forward to listening to Mass in Polish soon, so we didn’t talk for too much longer. She did start going on about how she wants us all to find someplace for her, where she can have peace and privacy. I told her, even if we found someplace, if she leaves where she is now, she goes to the bottom of the waiting list (or off it entirely, now that I think about it) for the nursing home she wants to be in

I don’t think she heard me. I had a hard time hearing her at times, though for a different reason. It was as if we were losing the connection, but when I mentioned it was happening, she said something about how she was accidentally doing something with her fingers. ??

Well, hopefully that won’t be an issue for much longer. After going back and forth with my brother about it, he went ahead and ordered a phone for seniors for my mother. It’s in already, but the SIM card is still on the way. The phone company has a senior’s plan, too. It’s a cell phone that looks like a small cordless phone, and is even more basic than the phone she had before. It has a charging dock just like her old cordless handset had. The display screen shows the time, day and date as default, which I think she will find useful, too.

I would absolutely enjoy having a phone like that for myself, instead of a touch screen smart phone. Those may be convenient, but I’ve never liked touch screens.

Hopefully, it won’t take her long to figure it out, and we will be able to call her directly instead of having to go through the nursing station and have them bring a cordless handset to her.

The call with my mom wasn’t as bad as I half expected it to be, at least. I just don’t quite understand what my mother’s expectations are anymore, other than unrealistic. She hated being at her apartment because there was no one around in case she needed help, but now that she’s where there is always someone around that can help if she needs it, she hates that there are people around all the time, and they make sounds.

Ah, well. Hopefully she will get to where she wants to be, soon. She told my brother that her room mate has been there for a long time already, and is staying. Which doesn’t make sense, since this place is for temporary placement only, not permanent.

As for me, it’s time to pain killer up for the night and get to bed.

I am so very tired. Tired physically, tired of the truck, tired of always being on guard when talking to my mother, tired of winter, tired of cold, tired of the plumbing in this house, tired… tired… tired.

I need sleep.

The Re-Farmer

Exhausted

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Exhausted and cold! The high winds we got today were from the north, and my bedroom is north facing. It’s usually one of the coldest rooms in the house, but now I feel freezing. Meanwhile the rest of the house is warm enough to not trigger the furnace to turn on. I’m actually having a hard time typing!

I’ll be warm soon enough. I plan to go to bed as soon as I’m done this, even though it has just turned 6pm.

But first, the cuteness.

The yard cats managed to somehow flatten the cat cave, in spite of the wire supports I put on the inside. That hasn’t stopped them from using it, though! The first picture was taken when I did the morning feeding. The next two, after I did the evening feeding.

A bit early, because I did not want to go outside again.

The cab was booked to arrive at our place at around 11. I planned to meet him at the gate, since I wasn’t expecting a car to make it down our driveway though, at the time, the truck would have made it.

Yeah, some foreshadowing there!

I headed out a bit early, knowing I could wait out of the wind in the garage. The main door was open, but it faces south, so there was no wind at all coming in.

Thankfully, my brother installed a wifi booster in the garage where the lawnmowers are stores, so I was able to get a call on my cell phone. It was the taxi driver. He apparently didn’t read my directions all the way through and was at the highway, asking which side I was on. I gave him the rest of the directions and he soon arrived.

The drive into town was downright scary!

Portions of the gravel road were completely hidden by blowing snow, with hidden drifts beginning to form. It was worse on the highway. Even in town, with building to cut the wind.

Just as scary was realizing this guy was not a particularly good driver, and wasn’t driving to the conditions. Not the worst driver I’ve been a passenger with, but with the roads the way they were, it wasn’t long before I was seriously concerned he’d slide off the road! Especially as he was speeding through our little hamlet, where things are always way more slippery. We were talking about the conditions and I told him I was in no hurry, and to feel free to take his time. Thankfully, he did slow down.

Once past our hamlet, visibility kept getting worse anywhere there was open fields. We could barely see the road, nor oncoming traffic until they were quite close. As we were getting close to town, in a wide open area near the airport, I could see a dump truck just into a cross road, it’s back end leaning precariously into the ditch! Then a huge gust came up and he literally had to stop. Zero visibility. The only thing we could see was the top of the truck because he pulled over right near where it was. Thankfully, it started to clear up relatively quickly. Once he was able to start moving again, we realized he had gone off to the side by a fair bit. Thankfully, we were right in the intersection, so he was more on the gravel road instead of more into a ditch!

When we got into town, I had him stop at a bank first, where I could take out some cash to pay him, rather than try to use debit on his phone. The car was a regular car, so he was tracking the mileage and fare on his phone. As we were talking, he told me he’s been in business for just over a year. He had quite a bit more driving in these conditions to pick up other fares, too!

After I got the cash – including a well deserved tip – he drove me to the garage.

The truck was parked outside by the building. It was blocked by a car, but it was running, so I knew it wouldn’t be there for long.

I went in to talk to the owner and the mechanic that has driven the truck with me. The owner just handed me the keys. No charge!

We talked for a while, and they have concluded that the issue was never with the transfer case. It is fine. They’ve concluded it had something to do with the ABS trying to kick in. I do remember seeing the ABS light flash briefly when I was driving it. I was told what to watch out for, but in the end, there is nothing wrong with the truck. There was nothing to fix.

!!!

The owner’s wife and toddler were there as well, when I mentioned I was blocked. It turned out to be their car. I was in no hurry, though, and used the command start to warm the truck up while waiting until his wife headed out.

The truck was running fine, but… ???

There was no clock display.

The dashboard displays were fine, but not clock. I tried turning on the radio. Nothing.

This was while I got the truck out and crossed the street to the grocery store. With the road conditions, I wanted to get the shopping done as quickly as possible. My plan to stay in town and time my return for when the post office reopened at 2pm went out the window. I wanted to get home before things were drifted over too badly!

Once the shopping was done, I messaged home saying I it would be a slow drive home, and asking for someone to open the gate. I didn’t want to have to stop and lose momentum.

It was, indeed, a slow drive home, but visibility was not as bad as earlier. I did have to stop at the same intersection as on the way out, though. This time, because my side of the highway was blocked by the massive tow truck that just got the dump truck out of the ditch! So only one lane was open and I had to wait for oncoming traffic to get by. I didn’t have to wait long.

Then, I got to our own driveway…

… and got stuck.

The end of the driveway and at the gate was still clear. The walls of snow were high enough to prevent drifting. The rest of the driveway had more snow on it than when I left.

Which would have been okay, if I’d managed to stay on the hard packed tire tracks. Unfortunately, I slid off, and once I was off, that was it.

Yes, I even switched to 4 wheel drive, but I just wasn’t moving.

*sigh*

With the way the truck was now diagonal across the driveway, I could only reach the driver’s side doors. I let my family know and started pulling bags on the passenger side out from the driver’s side and taking them to the house. My younger daughter booted up and came out to help as soon as she could. The green you see on the hood of the truck in the first picture is one of the grocery bags.

Then I left my daughter to put everything way and start cooking the individual flat bread pizzas I picked up, because I knew none of us would be up to cooking from scratch today. She got quite a bit done while I was gone, and was still doing the last load of my laundry for me.

Once everything was in, I got on the lovely bib overalls she got for me, because they cut the wind like nothing else, and headed back out. I was able to shovel around the truck, then had to get the ice scraper to break up the packed snow and ice that had “fenced in” the tires. I was protected from the wind enough that I actually started to overheat a bit!

That done, it was time to break out little Spewie.

There was enough drifted snow that I started out by clearing in front of the garage, so I wouldn’t get stuck again trying to pull in, then cleared the driveway up to the truck.

That took quite a long time.

Before I stopped, though, I did clear the foot path to the gate wide enough for my husband’s walker, then cleared a path to the electricity meter. That was so drifted over, you’d never know a path had already been dug out there. Several times.

I had thought to do a bit more clearing once the truck was in the garage, so I made sure the extension cord was out of the way before getting back to the truck. A bit more clearing with the ice scraper, and I gave it a go.

Thankfully, I was able to get out with little trouble and parked in the garage.

In the second picture of the slide show above, you can see the tracks where the tires had sunk on the sides of the packed tire tracks. Had I not cleared it with little Spewie, I probably would have gotten stuck again.

The last picture is where I got stuck, and the rest of the driveway that needs to be cleared.

Not today.

I realized I was done at that point. With the ice and snow I’d gotten loose with the ice scraper, it needed to be shoveled clear, first, so they wouldn’t break the blade on Spewie, and I just didn’t have the energy left to do the rest of the job.

It needs to be done, though. We’ve got someone coming out with a kibble donation tomorrow. If they can’t get through the driveway, we’ll have to haul it through the snow, and that area is now so uneven, it would be dangerous. I also want to clear the turn around area in the yard, so we can drive up to the house to unload our stock up shopping.

Plus, I still don’t have the clock display working. I texted the garage but haven’t heard back. I might need to go back for them to take a look and see what happened. Might just be a fuse.

In the end, I put Spewie away in the storage side of the garage. Normally, I’d properly put away the extension cords, too (I had to use two 100′ cords to reach the truck), but this time I just pulled them in off to the side, so they are easily accessible tomorrow.

How much I can get done tomorrow, though, is questionable. I did make sure to plug in the truck. As I write this, we are at -22C/-8F, with a wind chill of -38C/-36F. We’re supposed to drop to -31C/-24F during the night, but at least the wind is going to die down. Still, tomorrow’s high of the day is supposed to be -21C/-6F Sunday’s high is supposed to be -16C/3F, so I might leave doing the inner yard for then.

By the time I got in, it was coming up on 3pm, so I ended up doing the outside cats’ evening feeding. I had no idea I had been out that long! It wasn’t even quite noon when I got home.

The next while was spent updating the family and finally sitting down to eat. When I was still thinking of heading home late enough to go to the post office when it reopened at 2, I expected to have lunch in town. That didn’t happen. All I’d eaten all day was a hunk of cheese for breakfast, and half a can of Monster during the drive home. My poor little pizza was pretty dehydrated by the time I got to it. 😄

I also found a text from my sister, letting me know she’d tried to call our mother, but would be trying again later. My mother was busy – playing bingo and having birthday cake!

That is such good news. My mother had been going stir crazy with boredom while in the hospital. She wasn’t at the first TCU for long, but if they had any activities, we never heard of them. I think most of the people there had more severe cognitive issues and dementia. That where my mother is now already has her doing activities is fantastic news.

I really should call her myself, but I’m just too tired.

I already took my anti-inflammatories with my supper/lunch/breakfast. Now is the time to take some pain killers and crawl into bed!

The Re-Farmer

A cute accident, and some updates

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We had some more snow last night. Checking the security cameras, I saw that the road was plowed. We’re going to have to dig out the end of the driveway.

I also started getting a lot of motion detection notifications from the garage cam. I never saw what was triggering it, though.

What I did see was this.

A pair of matching hearts in the snow.

Who made these?

So I started going through the history, checking both stills and video clips. They weren’t there on Sunday, but as I watched myself walking towards the gate to meet my SIL on Monday, there they were, slightly less snow covered, but also less visible in the diffused light at the time.

It took a bit of going over the files more, then remembering that the motion sensor is triggered by people (and the occasional cat or deer), but not vehicles. We haven’t been able to figure out why (this is one of my brother’s new security cameras, not one we got).

My brother and nephew were here on Sunday. I saw them getting into their care to leave, but the camera wasn’t triggered by the care as they backed up towards the driveway then turned to the gate.

These are tire tracks. After the snowfall and in the morning light, they just happen to now look like hearts.

Adorable.

Almost as adorable as these guys.

There’s at least three more cats in there that are not visible in the photo.

Somehow, they got one corner of the hammock off its hook. I haven’t been able to put it back as it can only be reached through the ramp door, which has the box sheltering it. A box that’s currently stuck in place with packed snow and ice.

I took this when I did the second feeding. My darling daughter did the morning feeding for me. It was -27C/-16F at the time. I don’t know what the wind chill was, but when I checked later and we had warmed up to -20C/-4F, the wind chill was -34C/-29F Thankfully, by the time I did the second feeding, there was hardly any wind, so it was just really cold, instead of brutally cold. 😄

In other things, my mother was successfully transferred to the temporary long term care unit in the town she had her apartment in, last night. My brother called them this morning and talked to the nursing staff before talking to my mother. She got there shortly after 7pm in a taxi handivan – and no, we are not going to be charged for that. However, a bag that contained, among other things, my mother’s Pepto got forgotten in the van, and the staff were trying to track it down. The other TCU always uses the same taxi driver for these transfers, as he’s so good with the seniors, so it would be easy to track it down.

As for my mother, once he started talking to her, she started railing about how things were even worse here than where she had just left. It took a while to get to what she was saying, and it seems she was still just rattled from the transfer. She does have a room mate, but she did say that this person was better (by which we understand she means, this is not a person with dementia trying to tell my mother to go away while claiming my mother’s bed was hers).

My brother gave me the proper numbers to call this TCU, though he didn’t have the room number. I tried calling as soon as I could. It went to voice mail so I left a message, but no one got back to me. I texted the contact info to my sister, though. After several hours, I tried again and got through.

I talked to the nurse, first, and asked how things were going. She seemed a bit hesitant in answering, as if she was trying to find the right words. My mother wasn’t quite happy and something my mother told her had her thinking she had been in a single room before. I told her that she had been in a single room while at the hospital, but at the first TCU, she had a room mate. I explained about the roommate having some level of dementia and her behaviour. The nurse was surprised because, while they do have single rooms, those are usually reserved (if possible) for people with dementia that shouldn’t be sharing a room because they might do things like that. She would have expected this other TCU not to place someone with dementia with a room mate. I told her, I didn’t think they had any single rooms!

I remembered to ask about the missing bag.

It turns out my mother thought it was missing because it didn’t go to her room. It contained her medications, which they never keep in patients’ rooms, and was at the desk (they would have a secure lock up for meds). She was even able to tell me some of the items that were in it.

After talking with the nurse, I asked to talk to my mother and got transferred to their cordless phone.

It was a… strange call.

My mother seemed out of sorts, but she was happy to tell me that my sister had come to visit. She was extra happy, because my sister had brought her “cabbage” (sauerkraut) and pickle juice. My mother has been craving something “sharp” to counter what she described as all the sweet she’s been getting. I have no idea what she meant by that. Some of her meals might have a dessert, but that would be something along the lines of canned fruit. Whatever. She’s happy with her “sharp” snacks!

She asked me about the truck at one point and I explained to her that they weren’t able to look at it yesterday, but were hoping to do it today (I’ve still had no word about it, and they are closing soon). That set her off. She started saying how I should “explain to them” that we need the truck. I told her, they know our situation. Oh, but if I just explain to them. I told her, they have appointments. They have to fit the truck in, in between appointments, and need at least a couple of hours to look at where they think the problem is. I then started getting lectures about how other people’s appointments didn’t matter, they should take care of me. Then she started saying how my brother and I need to get together to find a “good mechanic”. Because mechanic always cheat women. When she started to invent accusatory things about how they were cheating me, I had to put an abrupt stop to it and pointed out she had no idea what she was talking about (in regards to the problems we’ve had with our truck), and she shouldn’t start going on like that. We should talk about something else.

After that, I had dead silence. Apparently, if she couldn’t complain about things, she had nothing else to say.

I remembered about the bag that she thought was missing, so I told her that it wasn’t missing. That it had medications in it, so it when to the nursing station, not her room, explaining that they have to lock up the medications.

She didn’t believe me.

She then gave me this description of her the transfer last night, looking into the bag and what she saw in it, how the bag was on the seat of the van and didn’t come in with her. It was still in the van. I told her, the nurse said she had it. Her medications were in the bag, so it had to go to the nursing station, not her room.

My mother didn’t believe they had her medications, either.

…

She would have gotten at least her bed time meds, and her morning meds, by the time I’d called her.

No matter what I said, she refused to believe me that the bag was not forgotten in the van, nor that they had her meds. She finally said she would go to the nursing station and ask them, herself.

There really wasn’t much else to talk about after that. She did say she was glad for the phone calls from me and my brother today. She calls the calls and visits her “second medicine.”

She may still be out of sorts, but where she is now is definitely better than where she was. She did complain a bit about the small size of the rooms (I don’t think she gets just how fortunate she was to have the big room in the hospital, all to herself!) and that she didn’t know the place yet. I brought up that she had told me she’d been there before, to visit people, so I thought she would be familiar with it.

No, she’s never been here before, she insisted.

…

She told this to me not long ago. Even made out like I was stupid, or that I thought she was stupid, to think she didn’t know about this place being in the town’s hospital. Told me how she knew people there and had visited them. Now she’s telling me the opposite?

When I said, she had told me she’d been there before, not that long ago, she just said, well, it’s a big place. So maybe she visited someone in a different ward? I dunno!

The good thing, though, is that she will start getting communion on Sundays from the church she used to go to, and they will likely be done by the same guy that had brought it to her after services at her apartment across the street.

So that’s where we are at with my mother’s transfer. Hopefully, she will settle in and be happier there. She did confirm that her transfer to the personal care home wasn’t cancelled. I said for sure it wasn’t; where she is now is all temporary. If all goes well, she will not be moved again until is to the specific nursing home she wants to be in.

How long that will be is anybody’s guess!

The Re-Farmer

Lots going on

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You know, for a day where I’m stuck at home, there was a lot going on that had nothing to do with home!

But first, the cuteness.

Toni and Ginger, our two tripods, snuggling while they nap.

On my very cat fur covered bed.

So the first thing I got today was a message from my brother, updating on the situation with our mother. He had called the main office and it was confirmed my mother would be transferred to the temporary long term care centre in the town her apartment was in. They still had to get things ready for her at the other end, and then arrange transportation. They couldn’t say when it would happen, but they wanted to get it done as soon as possible.

Almost immediately after, I got a text from my sister (who doesn’t really do Messenger anymore).

My mother had just phoned her, convinced that if we just talk to the right people, they would get her out of where she is. My sister talked to the nurse and they said they had told my mother, repeatedly, that they don’t know when she would be transferred.

I’m not sure what my mother is thinking is going on. Perhaps she’s interpreting it as not happening soon. Or not happening at all. It’s hard to say, as she tends to twist things around pretty severely, once she gets a conclusion in her mind.

In the middled of that flurry of messages, I got a message from the cat rescue, asking when I was expecting to go to the city next. I responded saying I didn’t know, since I currently have no transportation and don’t know when I’d be getting it back. Otherwise, it would have been tomorrow and Friday.

It turns out they have dry kibble for us! I was incredibly grateful to hear that. Especially with how much we’ve been having to spend on the truck for the past while, and now with an unknown hanging over us. I spent some time on that group cat, too. If we don’t get the truck back soon, one of them volunteered to drive the kibble out to us. !!! They are so awesome!

Then later one – while I was cooking and couldn’t stop what I was doing, of course – I got a phone call. It was from the TCU, so I called them back as soon as my hands were free and clean.

The TCU nurse started off by telling my my mother accepted the bed in the other location.

…

I’m not sure why that was still an issue, after all the calls between us all that were done yesterday. They only needed to arrange transportation. She had already called my brother and left a message.

Would I be able to transport her.

????

I said no, I have no transportation. My brother is at work and my sister would be on the way to work. We thought they would arrange the transportation.

Oh, we always ask the family first, as there would be no charge. If they do it, there would be a charge for it.

???

I told her that if there is, my brother, as PoA would be the one to pass that information on to, and told her I would message him and update him.

This perplexed me because, when my brother talked to him, I was sure he told me they’d said they would take care of the transportation, because they were the ones doing the transfer. Much like when my mother first went to the hospital by ambulance, she got a bill for it, but when they used an ambulance to transfer her to the TCU, she did not get a bill for it, because it was their responsibility.

I messaged my brother and it wasn’t much longer before I got word back. He had called them back and was told our mother would be transferred later this afternoon (she might be on the road now, as I write this) and they are arranging a taxi van, so they could fit everything. This would include not only her personal affects, but her walker and wheelchair, so that makes sense.

He also confirmed that he had been told previously that there would be no charge for the transfer, but when he called back today, it never came up. He said he would deal with that later. For now, we just need to have her moved!

So the first, and only, time any of us heard about being charged for transportation was when the TCU contacted me earlier today.

Between all of this, I found myself spending most of the day on the computer, messaging back and forth with two very different groups of people – plus texting with my sister and on the phone with TCU.

As the afternoon progressed, without hearing from the garage, I sent them a text asking about the truck. I mentioned that I’d looked up the part, just to see what it looked like, and saw the prices. I let them know that if it needed to be replaced, we simply can’t afford it. Hopefully, it will be something more minor!

A response came in while I was outside, doing the evening outside cat feeding. It was very apologetic. They weren’t even able to drag the truck into the garage at all today. They will look at it tomorrow.

I can’t say that wasn’t unexpected. I knew they could only look at it, in between appointments, and once a lift would be free for at least a couple of hours. They have three lifts, but each one is different and used for different purposes, depending on what they need to be able to access. One of them can only fit small cars.

So, one more day with the Sword of Damocles hanging over our heads.

On a completely different note, when I finished putting food and warm water out for the outside cats, I went into the old kitchen and discovered Bug on top of chest freezer! She snuck in while I was going out and I never saw her.

Unfortunately, she was nervous and spooked. Usually, I can at least pet her and sometimes pick her up, but this time, she ran off and hid.

She’s still there.

I’ve set out food, water and a squeeze treat, squeezed out onto a container, to lure her out. It’s way too cold in there for such a tiny cat (the old kitchen is unheated and seems to have no insulation at all – it wasn’t needed when it was an active kitchen and the wood cookstove was always in use!) so I set up a carrier that needs some work done on it, wrapped in a blanket, on top of the freezer with another smaller blanket inside. I’ve checked a few times and saw her snuffling around the middle of the floor, but she ran off as soon as she heard me turn the door knob. I found the container that has squeeze treat on it stuck against the door, licked clean, so I know she’d gone onto the freezer again and knocked it off while eating the treat. Hopefully, she will come back out again, soon!

Really hoping I can snag her and set her back in the sun room, where she has access to the heat lamps and warm bodies to snuggle with.

I’m also hoping my mother will soon me in her new temporary long term care unit. She’s familiar with this place, as she has visited friends there before, and I think it will be a much better situation for her.

Now, if we could just have some good news on the truck and have that back soon. I’ll finally be able to visit her, as well as do a whole lot of driving around that’s needed! Which included picking up what is likely a build up of parcels at the post office. My West Coast Seeds order has been in for almost a week, now!

Ah, well. It’ll all work out.

Oh! My husband just informed me that Bug is in the cave I created for her! Now, if I can just get into there without her running and hiding again…

The Re-Farmer

A better day

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For the past while, I’ve been having the hardest time getting going in the morning. It’s not just dealing with pain, or lack of sleep. I have to admit, the whole situation with the truck has really gotten me down. It’s just one more thing of many that have happened in the past couple of years. Normally, most things are just water under the bridge, but every now and then, it just gets to be too much.

My daughters have been helpful. Lately, they’ve both been staying up all night, not just my older daughter as she worked on commissions. Since they are up anyhow, they’ve been taking care of the outside cats in the morning, letting me sleep in. I’ve never been a morning person, so this alone has done much to help.

The other thing is, I finally got outside to do some shoveling. My original intention has basically been to do the sidewalk to the gate, and maybe clear the cat paths. Once I got started, though, I just kept on going. The sidewalk, the cat paths, a path to the garage and in front of the doors on the storage side. My brother and nephew were going to visit my mother today, then swing by the farm to check on my brother’s truck, so I cleared it of snow, shoveled around it, cleared enough snow in front of the barn door that it could be opened, and a walking path. Since my brother had gone through a lot of this with the snow blower when we had to bring my mother’s stuff over, it was pretty easy shoveling.

Then I kept on going and did the paths to the compost pile, to the back of the garage, and a path from the house to the litter compost.

I also dug out the large cat trap my brother had given us and cleared it of snow. I set it on the landing with the door locked open, and it wasn’t long before I saw Bug going in to check it out. I set it back near the isolation shelter, so that cats can go in and out as will, and not see it as something to be afraid of.

Then I cleared the snow and ice off the catio and isolation shelter roofs. The isolation shelter took a bit more effort, as the warmth inside has melted the snow on the roof, even with the insulation sheets – those are pretty torn up by the cats! After clearing the snow, I tried opening the roof, but it was too heavy to lift from only one side. One realizing just how much ice was on there, I broke it up and got most of it off before the roof could be lifted and whatever was left could slide off.

I’m going to have to reinforce the back of the roof supports, so they all the supports can be lifted at once without any twisting around. I’ve just got some wood lath right now, which is fine in the summer, but they just popped free of the supports in places when I first tried to open it.

All that done, I did some clean up around the cat kibble trays. They have a lot of old kibble in them that the cats aren’t eating. the ones in the kibble house were getting too many bits of straw in them. The ones in the sun room were getting pieces of rigid insulation in them. There is insulation on the lower window behand the counter shelf, since that window is now a single pane. That cats have been scratching at it – the LOVE scratching that insulation!! – and there are tiny bits of insulation all over the place. Plus, even though there are litter boxes, these are outside cats, so there were messes frozen to the concrete floor that needed to be scraped loose. After emptying all the kibble trays and sweeping the floor on that side (I didn’t even try for the other side yet), I used all the scrap piece of insulation that’s been kicked around, laying it over the exposed concrete (most of it is covered already), including under the big aluminum baking sheet that they don’t like to eat from as much. I think it gets too cold. Now, there is insulation under all the kibble trays, and the heated water bowl.

The heated water bowls were in need of a good cleaning, too. Those all got emptied and scrubbed as best I could. They will get a more thorough cleaning in the spring.

With all that done, I set out fresh kibble and water early. The cats were vary happy! After putting the kibble out, I did a head count.

31

After doing the water, I counted again.

29 😄

I must say, getting all that done made me feel so much better. Better than therapy!

You know what else is good therapy?

Being able to pet Colby.

My daughter mentioned that she’s been able to pet him, so when he ran past me, heading out the sun room door, I tried to pet him as he went by. As soon as my hand touched his back, he stopped in his track and looked at me. He was so torn between staying for pets, and running away! Once my hand lifted for more than a moment, he was off again, but that was the most pets I’ve been able to give him, yet.

While I was working on all this, the cats were enjoying the gorgeous sunshine.

They really like that shelf shelter, with its clear wall! In the first picture, I zoomed in to get Colby, snuggling with his sister, Sprig. We still can’t get close to her.

In the next picture, you can see little Furriosa sharing that shelf with them, Collin below, and Fluffy above.

Then there was the sun room window.

That shelf was set up there just to they could use it and sun themselves.

There are 11 cats in that picture. Possibly more!

The down side is that poor Frank was being really harassed by Clarence making advances on her. I don’t think she’s even in heat anymore. I’ve even seen the boys going after Pinky today, and she is spayed!

Once inside, I sent a bunch of photos to the rescue. I’m pretty sure all the adult females are pregnant by now, but they also all would need to be trapped to get them to a vet. Even Frank, since she’s been quite the escape artist. Otherwise, she’s be spayed by now. Trapping will need to wait until things warm up, but the cats that went into heat the earliest will probably be ready to have their kittens by the middle or end of March – and we’re in the last week of February right now.

I did get to pet Frank quite a bit today, though. Still can’t pick her up – she doesn’t trust us after we tried our attempts to get her to a vet – but at least she allows pets now. She’s very nervous about them, but accepts them for a little while before running away.

After chatting with the rescue group, I decided to I wanted kluski for a very late lunch, finally using my spaetzle maker that I bought so long ago, for the first time. It worked great, but is surprisingly messy. Worth it anyhow, I think, for the more evenly sized and shaped results. It went very well with some leftover, deboned drumsticks in butter chicken sauce.

I was just starting to cook when my brother and nephew arrived. They did not stay long, as they mostly wanted to start my brother’s truck and check on it. It started fine. Then they went to check on their mobile and made sure all was well there. My brother ended up phoning me before the left. He was very appreciative of the shoveling. It turns out he had been thinking of lending us the truck, but it’s a “one wheel drive” and is temperamental in a way my brother and SIL understands, but really, no one else does. 😄 He was concerned that if I tried to drive it, I would have issues. I never even considered borrowing it! I thanked him for the thought, though.

Our truck should be done tomorrow (Monday), and my SIL has offered to pick me up and drive me to get it. I just don’t know when that will happen! I’m assuming they will want to get it done as quickly as possible to free up the bay it’s been taking up for days. If nothing else, they close at 5, so I know it’ll be before then. After that, I’ll pop across to the grocery store to pick up a few things we’ve run out of, but I’ll be doing our first stock up shop on Wednesday. Then Friday will be our Costco stock up trip.

If all goes well with the truck.

The thing is like a Sword of Damocles for us. I never know what’s going to happen next!

So I never did get to see my brother and nephew in person before they left. I messaged him later asking him to update me on how the visit went with our mother, once he was settled.

He ended up calling me before he had a chance to check his messages! He had just gotten a phone call from the TCU about my mother.

She has been moved to another room. Away from the roommate she told me has been telling her to go away, because she thinks my mother’s bed is her own bed. If there’s more to it, I hope to find out when I visit. I now know where her new room is. The nurse told my brother that Mom was in tears, thanking them for moving her. !!! Coming from my mother, that’s a big deal.

As for their visit, they were able to take Mom to a common room/family room to talk. Shortly after they got there, a woman came in with remote controls, wanting to use the TV. My mother started yelling at her to leave! My brother tried to help her with the remotes but they couldn’t get things working and she left. Only later did my brother notice that she’s switched the power off on the cable box by mistake. !! It’s unfortunate that my mother behaved the way she did. My mother has cognitive issues, but not dementia in that sense. She’s just like that and has been for pretty much as long as I can remember. The only difference now is, she doesn’t really try to hold back anymore. She’s old, so that excuses all sorts of unfortunate behaviour.

Anyhow.

My brother had quite a bit to go over with her, including the documents confirming her move out of the apartment and that they would no longer be charging her rent. After going through more things, he told me she seemed to start to realize just a little of how much my brother had to do for her in the background. Of course, she would never say anything positive to him about it, nor thank him or show appreciation.

My brother is such a saint.

Oh, and our vandal had visited her, together with his wife, just this morning.

*sigh*

At least she didn’t try to hide the visit from my brother this time.

Apparently, they’d been in town to do some shopping. I’m assuming my sister told our vandal where my mother is. Most likely, my mother made sure she did. Well, at least all visitors have to check in with the nursing station first, and the staff is aware of his abusive behaviour towards him. Plus, he was with his wife, and he behaves better when he’s with her. He told my mother he has stopped drinking (which I find highly unlikely, but whatever), and that they’ve already got his funeral pre-arranged. I don’t know if he’s still doing chemo, if the doctor has told him there’s nothing more they can do for him. My mother started going on to my brother about how she wants us all to get along. She just can’t accept that it’s all on our vandal to fix things. His hate for me and my brother runs so deep, I don’t see a reconciliation ever happening. Particularly since he’s managed to drive a wedge between us and my late brother’s children to the point where they want nothing to do with any of us anymore. We could never trust him again.

What a mess. And my mother and sister are oblivious at to how much they are making things worse by pandering to him, and how much harder it makes things for my brother, me and my family. Especially us, since we live so close to him. A relative statement, to be sure, but close enough that we can sometimes hear things from his place.

Ah, well. It is what it is. We just have to work with the hand we’re dealt with.

Well, that got off on in another direction!

In the end, the visit with my mother went rather well, all things considered, and now we have the good news that she is in another room. She will likely have another room mate, though, so we’ll see how that works out!

As for me, getting outside in the sunshine, doing the shoveling and getting so much done has made the whole day better. I’m feeling better than I have for a while now.

I will have to make sure to pain killer up before bed tonight, though, if I want to get any sleep!

I might even get to bed before 2 am for a change.

😄😄

The Re-Farmer

Being watched, and an update

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I just had to share this bit of cuteness, first.

Fluffer peeking through the bathroom window while enjoying any warmth coming through the screen.

In other things…

I called up my mother this evening. It ended up being a very challenging conversation. When I asked how she was doing, she switched to Polish and starting talking about the “Indianka” (Indian person) and her bed. At first I thought she was complaining about one of the staff somehow mistreating my mother while changing her bedding. She kept using Polish words I was unfamiliar with. I did figure out that the person she was talking about was in the room with her – and it was strange that staff would be fussing with her bed past 7:30pm.

After asking questions about just what the problem was, I eventually figured out that she was talking about her room mate. It seems this woman has been telling my mother to go away, and that my mother’s bed is her bed. There seems to be more as well, but my mother was having difficulty explaining to me. Once I figured it out, I said that this is something we need to talk to the nursing staff about. My mother said she’s already talked to them and they say there’s nothing they can do.

This is obviously an issue of someone with dementia. My mother has increased cognitive decline, but nothing like this. She said she told the nursing staff the people like her room mate should share a room with other people like her, while people like my mother should be sharing a room with someone more like her – this is in reference to levels of dementia. The problem with that is, there might not actually be someone there at her cognitive level. At least not another woman that she could share a room with.

Earlier in the conversation, while she was still speaking in English, my mother asked me if I knew about someone that had passed away recently. This person was part of a family that are “neighbours” out here, but I only know two of them – one of them was my elementary school teacher until 3rd grade, in the one classroom school our little hamlet used to have. Grades K-3 were all in that one classroom. It turned out that the person who passed was their mother. After getting a bit of a lecture about how I don’t know what’s going on, I pointed out to my mother that I’ve been stuck at home because the truck is in the shop; if I’m going to hear anything, it’ll only be if someone I know posts it on Facebook.

The truck reminded her to ask me when I’d be visiting her next. I explained to her the current timeline, and that it should be done on Monday. So am I visiting her on Monday? I said no, that’s when the truck is supposed to be done. I still don’t know how I’m going to get it. If anything, I’d be visiting on Tuesday.

When the conversation shifted to Polish and I managed to figure out she was trying to explain to me about her room mate, who was in the room with her while she was talking to me, she started talking about getting into the nursing home. It turns out the neighbour who passed away was in the nursing home she wants to go to. Which means a bed is now open.

…

We have explained to her that priority goes to people who are in the worst shape, but this was not the time to bring it up again.

As she continued to speak in Polish, she starting saying that my brother and I should go to the nursing home and explain my mother’s situation to them, and tell them she will pay them lots of money, every month, if they would just let her in.

So… she wants to bribe the nursing home staff.

I tried to explain to her again, that the nursing home staff have no control over it. It’s up to the government. The health department makes those decisions, not the nursing home.

I don’t know if she can’t understand this, or won’t. She is convinced that if we just ask and offer them money (she would be paying “rent” anyhow, so I don’t know what she’s thinking on that), they will let her live there.

I told her my brother had already contacted them and they confirmed this, but she kept on as if I never said a thing.

In other things, she mentioned my sister had visited. I told her I knew, and that she’s brought my mother the pickle juice she was craving. My mother was so happy about that. I think she just drinks a spoonful every now and then, but I honestly am not sure! I asked her how the food was, and she told me it wasn’t as good as at the hospital. Not bad, but not good, either. 😞

She went back to talking in Polish and saying she wanted to be out of there. Then began lamenting about how, in her old age, she now has no home of her own, no bed of her own. I told her, it won’t be any different in a nursing home, other than she’d have a room to herself. Oh, but at least she would be among her own people! She would be around Christians.

…

She still thinks the nursing home is run by the same people who ran it when she applied for a job there, 50 or so years ago.

Then she started telling me how she is afraid to sleep at night because of her room mate, and she doesn’t know what she might do. I don’t know what to make of that. One the one hand, if her room mate’s dementia is far gone enough, that could be a real risk. On the other, at one point of trying to figure out what the problem was, and my mother not being able to answer me (I still thought she was talking about a staff member at this point), I asked outright, is it because she is Indian? My mother answered, yes. So she might be fearing this woman because of her race. Or, more likely, it’s a combination of both.

Either way, my mother is not in a good situation, and there’s really nothing we can do about it. She’s in the system, and the system decides. My mother, however, insists that if we just talk to the right people, explaining her situation, and are bold about it, that system will be ignored and she would get to jump the que to get to the nursing home she wants to be in.

I’m really not impressed with this transitional care unit. I don’t have concerns with the staff or the measures they have to take. It really has more to do with the fact that they’ve got so many people in various states of cognitive decline, waiting to get into someplace else, in such a tight space and sharing rooms. This building is a converted hospital, but the TCU is only a small part of it. Too small.

I completely understand my mother’s feeling about wanting to get out, that’s for sure. Hopefully, she will get into a nursing home – even if it’s not the one she wants to be in, right away – soon.

Thankfully, my brother and SIL are back and they will be able to visit with her tomorrow. She will be very happy to see them. I suggested they might see about finding a private space they can wheel her to for the visit. There must be a common room or family room available. Somewhere that she can speak freely with them. I’ve already updated them on what my mother told me. Hopefully, they will be able to get more information from her, and will be able to talk to someone about it.

I honestly don’t know what we can do to make things better for her. She simply isn’t far gone enough for the system go consider her a priority when beds open up.

Plus, the system sucks at the best of times.

So very frustrating.

The Re-Farmer