family

Got some progress in, and cat news

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As I was finishing my rounds this morning, I got quite a few cat pictures that I could send to the rescue. Including this one of Rolando Moon.

Rolando, being one of the cats my late father cared for, is not up for adoption, but I wanted to share that face with the folks at the new rescue!

I shared quite a few other pictures as well. There was a fair bit of messaging throughout the day, and some things were finalized. One person is going to take in 6 cats herself, not this weekend, but next. There is another cat she is fostering right now that is going to a forever home this week, and the extra days will give her time to clean out the room she has for fosters before she can take more.

That’s something we can’t do. Have an entire room in the house dedicated to cats to be isolated for a week or two!

We have confirmed I will be delivering Smokey and her brother, the cat with the severe ear mite infection, plus three friendly kittens. None of the more feral ones, on this trip.

I had sad news to share with the rescue people, too.

Last night, around 1am, I was still up and tending to the inside cats, when I decided to give the outside cats a top up in the sun room. I figured the skunks and raccoons would have cleaned their kibble out by then, and I didn’t want them to be too hungry before the morning feeding.

As I was adding their kibble treat to various trays in the sun room, cats came running – except one, in one of the cat beds.

It was one of Frank’s remaining two kittens, passed away.

*sigh*

I was kind of expecting it, as her kittens were pretty sick, but still…

At least I can say it passed away while being in a cuddle puddle, and not cold and alone.

I let my older daughter know, as she was available at the time, and she came out with a flash light so I could bury the kitten. His brother actually came running and was so curious about what was going on, it was hard to get the job done! I finally was able to grab him and take him with me as I went to put the spade away, while my daughter found larger rocks to put over the new grave, so nothing could dig it up.

When feeding the cats this morning, Frank’s remaining little got to have his own bowl of special food in the old kitchen, supervised by my daughter, before getting an eye wash. He was pretty active and eager for attention, which was encouraging.

After the morning routine and planting of garlic, I was off to my mother’s, set to arrive after she’d had a chance to enjoy her Meals on Wheels lunch. I had quite a few things to get done, including helping her with her feet, so I brought along my micro-pedi thing and a proper set of toenail clippers, with plans to leave them with her. She has a fungal infection on a couple of her toenails and refuses to use the prescription treatment for them, because it was so expensive, so I don’t want to be bringing the stuff I use on her toes back home with me!

When I got there, though, she was lying down and her Meals on Wheels tray was on her table, untouched. My mother had forgotten that I was coming. She said she wasn’t feeling well, but since I was there, she got up to join me, and eat her lunch.

She had not made a shopping list, so we did that together. It was a really short shopping list this time. She still had much of what I’d picked up for her, last week.

When I called her last night about coming over today, I asked her to take a package of chicken out of the freezer that I could cook for her. I had been thinking of the meaty legs and thighs, but she took out the split wings, instead. After I got back from the grocery store, she even had them out and in a bowl, where she’d started to rinse them off.

Before I left for the grocery store, though, we got her laundry started. The wash would be done by the time I got back. Which is exactly how it worked out, so I got her stuff in the drier, and her third load started, before I got to work on the chicken.

I asked her how she wanted me to prepare them and she seemed surprised by the question. It turns out she just boils her chicken. (She never uses her oven for cooking; instead, she uses it to start pots and pans!) She’d even brought out a small pot and a large frying pan do use to cook them, as she doesn’t have a single pot large enough for the package. She asked me how I would have prepared them for myself and I mentioned a few things. She almost went with pan frying them, but she decided she really wanted that chicken stock.

So… boiled split wings it would be!

Then I asked her what she usually put in with them. Once again, she seemed surprised by the question. Water? was her response. Then she asked me again, how would I do it. Knowing what she had in the fridge, I said I’d be adding some carrots, celery and onion to it, some salt and pepper…

Then she remembered she was almost out of salt, but forgot to include it in her shopping list.

She had enough for the day, though, and told me to go ahead and add the vegetables to the chicken, too.

I’m glad she went with that because it turned out she was intending to have the chicken as a soup for her supper. Now, she would have chicken and vegetable soup!

That reminded her of something else she wanted us to pick up for her. “Tiny macaroni”, she said. I didn’t know what she meant and tried to get more details, but she got really frustrated that I didn’t know what she was talking about. I told her, there are a lot of different kinds of pasta out there! Did she mean orzo? Couscous?

I don’t think she’d heard of either before.

When she still couldn’t find the words to tell me what she wanted, I got my phone and and started searching for small types of pasta so I could show her pictures. I found one to show her, and it wasn’t small enough.

When she started talking about it being quick cooking, so she wouldn’t have to stand at the counter for long, I had a light bulb moment. I did some more searching and found a picture to show her.

She was talking about ramen noodles. She was very excited when I found the pictures for her!

Talking about her having food that cooks quickly, it got me to bringing up her home care again. She needs to have them come out to help her more often. Not just med assists, but help with dressing, making small meals – even if it’s just to make her some toast, or heat up a can of something for her, which is about the extent of what she’s up to on her own – even bathing.

My mom just got more and more frustrated at the idea. Her comments against it came down to “I’m not used to having servants. I’m used to doing things myself.”

So… that’s how my mother sees the home care workers. Not as people helping her with her medical needs, but as servants.

I told her, she’s causing her own problems by not accepting help she needs, because this care would get her into a nursing home faster. It’s either that, or have a fall!

I’m hoping she’ll come around.

This did give us a chance to talk about something else. I got a notification for a voice mail this morning, which meant there was no signal and the call went straight to voice mail. It took a few tries before I had enough signal to listen to the message, as the wifi calling isn’t working for some reason. It was this morning’s home care aid. She told me that she had emptied my mother’s commode and fount it very full, cloudy and smelling strongly. She’d asked my mother if she felt burning or any pain while urinating, and was told no. She brought up that she didn’t now if maybe it hadn’t been emptied for a while.

So when my mother and I talked about it, I asked her if she had any symptoms of a UTI, and she had none. Then I asked her how long it had been since the commode was emptied (it’s supposed to be done every morning).

I didn’t get a straight answer, but she started talking about one particular home care worker that is always in a hurry and leaves as soon as she gets my mother’s meds out. I told her, they are supposed to empty it every morning – there is extra time scheduled for my mother’s morning assist for stuff like this. She told me she can empty it herself, and I said no – that’s their job for a reason! I told her, just imagine trying to go to the washroom and having a fall, while carrying that bucket!

Hopefully, she will insist on it in the mornings. Otherwise, this will happen again. She shouldn’t have to, though. It’s part of their morning assist, not just the meds.

When I got home, I checked the schedule. My mother had someone yesterday with a name I didn’t recognize. The three previous mornings where this person my mother has issues with, that just comes in and leaves, without even making sure my mother takes her meds.

Which means that, potentially, that thing wasn’t empties for 4 mornings.

!!!!

Anyhow…

I stayed around until her chicken soup was cooked and her laundry was done and put away. I got some sweeping done, but I never got to do her feet. She wasn’t up to it. By the time I headed out, I had been there for almost 3 hours. I made a quick stop at the grocery store for ourselves before heading home – just some bread and eggs for now. Tomorrow, after I do the dump run, I will be going into town to pick up prescription refills, then going to the grocery store there, where prices are a bit better than in my mother’s town.

Overall, my mother was on one of her good days, though I had to redirect her to other topics a few times. There were also a few times when she was moving around, leaning on walls or furniture as she did, where she made sudden outcries of pain.

She really needs to be in some kind of supportive living, or a nursing home. It’s so frustrating that the home care office that decides this hasn’t approved her for it!

By the time I was heading home, it was late enough that I asked my daughter to feed the outside cats. When I got home, there was a message waiting for me, saying that she got it done, that she had a chance to pet all sorts of cats she’d never been able to touch before…

… and she couldn’t find Frank’s last little grubling.

*sigh*

Once I was home and settled in, I updated my siblings on how things went with my mom, including about what she remembered she wanted from the grocery store, after I’d made the trip. Then I got changed and headed outside to try and get some stuff done while there was still enough light.

That included checking the sun room for a missing kitten.

I found him in the same place I’d found that little white and grey tabby, a few days ago. Under a shelf, looking like he was all curled up for a nap.

*sigh*

I headed out to bury him beside his brother then my cell phone rang.

It was home care. They didn’t have anyone to do my mother’s morning visit tomorrow.

*sigh*

While I had the person on the phone, I mentioned finding a voice mail earlier in the day. I said that if a call goes straight to voice mail, that means I’m not getting a signal, so to call the land line instead. For some reason, while outside the house, I had enough signal to get that call, but would not have gotten it, if I were inside the house.

After pausing to let my family and siblings know about the call from home care, I continued the sad job of burying Frank’s last kitten. I updated the rescue about that as well. Two kittens in one day! 😢

I was starting to lose light, so I started working on the box for around the front of the isolation shelter ramp door, to keep the winter weather out. Parts of the roof were cracked, as was the front panel. I started out trimming the smaller opening in the front panel first, when I got a message from my brother.

He was planning to visit my brother tomorrow, and said he could do the morning med assist!

That was so, so appreciated!

He wanted to call me to talk about it, so I quickly popped inside so I could use the land line. We went over what gets included in my mother’s morning med assist. He confirmed about the grocery items she remembered later on, so he will be picking that up for her. My SIL, meanwhile, was making a chicken dinner to pack up for my brother to bring and have an early Thanksgiving lunch with her. It’s also that time of year for him to put away her portable AC for the winter, and set in the Styrofoam insulation in the window opening for the night. The glass in the window was removed so my mother could have the AC, and is set aside to be put back after my mother finally gets to move out and into a nursing home.

That done, I headed back outside again. Once the duct tape patching was done, I got out what I was planning to use as handles on the sides, so it can be carried more easily, and without damaging the plastic parts more.

The white piece of wood on the side, with a matching one on the other side, is the new handle. It’s the same thing I used for the legs, except they are half the length.

I’d picked up 1″ wood screws to attach these, as I’d run out, only to discover I really should have picked up 1 1/4″ screws. In the end, I attached them with two screws on the outside to hold them in place, then with three more screws through the thinner plywood on the inside.

Thankfully, my drill and driver both have lights on them, because it was pretty dark by the time I was finished, and the inside of the box, of course, was even darker!

It is now ready for painting.

Since I’ll be running around so much tomorrow, even without a trip to my mother’s early on, I’ve asked my daughters to do the painting, as soon as the morning chill is gone. Which will probably be around 10am. I want the paint to have as much time to cure as possible before the chill of the night. The exposed wood on the isolation shelter needs to be painted, the entry box needs to be painted, there’s a plant stand I scrubbed clean that can be painted, and plus there’s the wire mesh “door” for the old basement that we didn’t use this summer, as it was part of the platform in the sun room before we did the deep cleaning. There was plenty of grime from messy cat feet that needed to be scrubbed off of it, so I figure a paint job would help protect the wood, even if we don’t end up using is as part of a cat platform again.

Once the painting is done, there’s some rigid foam insulation inside one of the side walls that has been thoroughly scratched up by cats, so I want to cut a new piece for that. Then I want to wrap the bottom half with vinyl for the winter again, plus add handles to make it easier to move around.

All of which can be done after the paint dries!

Getting this done has been pushed back by other things coming up, so often. I’m just glad to have gotten it all to the point that all the painting can be done at once, rather than piecemeal – and that my daughters will be able to get it done for me while I’m running around, again!

That will give me more time to focus on getting more garden beds clear of weeds and tree roots, and finishing the inside wall of the garden bed in the old kitchen garden.

Little by little, it’s getting done!

The Re-Farmer

How things went today

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I’ll start with the more pleasant things!

First up, while doing my morning rounds, I spotted something very white in the wood chip pile, from quite a distance. Check these out!

The first picture was of a group of three very round mushrooms – I thought they were puffballs at first, until I saw the stems. The next three pictures are with my hand for perspective – then I found a fourth one, off to the side!

I have no idea if they are edible, and have no intention of finding out.

As I was heading inside, I found this adorable cuddle puddle.

Two of them! The smallest kittens really like to pile together.

Once the morning round were done, I was able to get a few things done before heading to my mother’s. My brother came out today, but he had to focus on replacing the radiator on one of his tractors that got damaged last fall, then try to get it going. Days are short, so I just popped over to say hello before I headed out.

When I got to my mother’s, she was all “prepared” for me. I barely got through the door! She had ice cream buckets of tomatoes she wanted me to take home. One of her neighbours in her building has had a great tomato year in their little garden plot and has been leaving boxes of them in the common room for people to help themselves. My mother keeps taking more than she needs for herself, because apparently no one else is taking any, and she doesn’t want them to go to waste.

So… she gives them to me.

While I was getting the two ice cream buckets of tomatoes out from under her table for her, I saw her collection of jugs for her drinking and cooking water, so I refilled those right away.

There were other errands she wanted me to do, but I told her I’d do them after I’ve put away her groceries.

She didn’t have a list, so I sat down to start that with her. It took a while, because she kept wanting to go on about other things. There’s one home care worker she has issues with in particular. For a basic med assist, they are supposed to be there for 5 minutes, making sure she takes her medication before they leave. The morning assist is for 10 minutes, as they are supposed to help with emptying the commode or helping apply her Voltaren to her back. This one rushes to put the meds in the little bowl she has for them, to make sure they’re all there (sometimes, they can get caught in the packaging), locked the box up and leaves without making sure my mother takes her meds. Apparently, she’s been so rough with the lock box, she ended up knocking my mom’s phone off its charger and just left it where it fell.

My mother was also angry about her new schedule. She has five evenings, which is two med assists done by the same person, plus four mornings, done by someone else (out of a 2 week schedule) listed as “unfilled”. I tried to explain to her that they have to have the schedules out by a certain time, so if they don’t have someone for a specific date or time, they have to list it as “unfilled”. That doesn’t mean they won’t find someone. Just that they hadn’t, before the deadline. My mother thinks it means people are going to show up because they’ve… called in sick, in advance? She doesn’t understand how scheduling works.

It did give me a chance to try and talk to my mother about things she can do to try and get herself into a nursing home faster. I tried to explain that, because she’s only getting med assists, they basically view her as being able to care for herself. But if she takes advantage of the other assists they have available – meal assists, bathing assists, dressing assisted, etc. – that would go a long way to helping her get in faster.

She just got angry at me. She doesn’t trust the home care workers (there’s one that she says is really good at her job, and that’s the one that helped care for my father, before he went into the nursing home) and doesn’t want them touching her or preparing her meals. I tried to explain why she needed to get it anyhow and, besides, if she were in a nursing home, she’d be having that all done for her, anyhow. To which she said, in a nursing home, she would have “professionals”. I told her, the home care workers are “professionals”. They may or may not be good at their jobs, but they get training, first.

At one point she told me she had been talking to a woman that used to live in our little hamlet, that I went to school with. Her mother lived in the same building as my mother, having moved in a few years ago. It turns out her mother is in a nursing home now! She was visiting a friend and stopped to chat with my mother. As my mother told her how much she wants to be in a nursing home, she was told to try falling down! Which is pretty much what I was thinking, but hadn’t mentioned. My mother is constantly afraid of falling down, so she is super careful not to. If, however, she did have a fall, she’d have to use her Lifeline to get help, because she certainly couldn’t get up again on her own. They could call her an ambulance (and would call me to inform me of any issues). Chances are if that happened, my mother would end up going straight to a nursing home or supportive living, somewhere.

She did mention about the last time she used her Lifeline to talk to someone about her she was feeling. At the end of it, she was asked if there was anything else they could do for her. She said, help me get into a nursing home! The person on the Lifeline said they would talk to someone higher up about it.

I don’t know what they can do, but if there’s something, it would help! Lord knows, my mother isn’t willing to do anything herself that would get her in faster. We keep telling her things that would help (like getting other home care assistance that they have available), but she just refuses. I can understand why, but she doesn’t understand that she is sabotaging herself. She much prefers to complain and expect other people to do things for her, not do them herself. This is not a new thing. She’s been like this for as long as I can remember.

After much circular conversation, I did manage to get a shopping list written down for her. Some of it was “see how it looks” or “depends on the price” type stuff. She needed more of her Voltaren, too, so a trip to the pharmacy was also in order.

I was able to find everything she wanted, and even got her a pumpkin pie as a treat I was pretty sure she would be happy with. Either she’d be happy, or she’d be angry. Thankfully, she was in a good mood, and was very happy to see the pie!

Once everything was put away, she insisted I sit with a cup of tea for a while before I finished doing things like sweeping her floor, taking care of her garbage, etc. Then she foisted a bag of aluminum foil she saved from her Meals on Wheels packaging onto me, together with the tomatoes! She’s been carefully washing and setting aside the foil each part of her meal is wrapped in. From the amount in the bag, it’s been probably a year’s worth of foil! She thought I might be able to use them in the garden (??) or something. I told her, I could add them to our aluminum recycling. We save up our aluminum until it’s worth the trip to the salvage yard. She was quite happy with that idea.

All in all, the visit with my mom was pretty good. Just one racist rant I had to distract away from, and during the times she did get angry because she didn’t like what she was being told, it wasn’t quite the personal attacks on me such things often become. It was actually a pretty good visit, as far as that goes with my mother!

That done, I had a request from my husband, so I went to the town we usually go to for our local shopping. The difference in prices between grocery stores was worth the extra driving.

Thankfully, fruit cake was not part of his shopping list.

I could not believe how expensive these fruitcakes have become! Not that long ago, seeing them at prices above $7 was considered expensive!

After I got the few things on my husband’s list and made a stop at the gas station, it was time for home.

My brother was still working on his tractor, so I headed over for a quick hello and to update him a bit about how it went with Mom. Then I went in to change into my grubbies to do some work in the garden, instead of in the sun room, while there was still light enough.

I made sure to water the winter squash and cover them for the night, first. We’re supposed to get rain, but it’s also supposed to get cold enough that I’m not sure the winter squash would survive it. They might be kept covered for several days, if the 7 day forecast is at all accurate. The next three nights in particular will probably put an end to the eggplant, peppers and summer squash, so if there’s anything to bring in an ripen indoors, tomorrow will be the day to do it.

I need to get more garden beds ready for winter sowing, though, and today I started working on the bed the carrots and peas were grown in.

*sigh*

I got a little more than a quarter of it done. As I was working my way down one side, I kept getting tangled up in tree roots. It was a while before I found root they were all coming from and got that pulled out. Then I found more from another root!

It was starting to get dark, so I didn’t want to start fighting with roots I couldn’t quite find yet, so I decided to call it a night. For all the work done in these beds, particularly when they got shifted to their permanent locations, getting them ready for the winter should be easy. All of these roots I’m hitting were not there in the spring. I’m blown away by how far they are extending from the trees, and how big they are.

According to the weather apps, we’re supposed to get rain all night and all through tomorrow, with heavy rain warning. So it might be a couple of days before I can continue. The overnight lows that had been forecast to drop below freezing have changed to just at freezing. Hopefully, the cover will be enough for the winter squash. After that one cold night, we’re actually supposed to get decent, if cool, weather again. That would be a good time to get the garlic in.

Well, we’ll see what actually happens! I’ll take the mild weather for as long as possible!

The Re-Farmer

Change of plans, and still creepy

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One of my goals for today was to get more done in the sun room. Which did happen, though quite a bit later than I originally intended. My daughters had their own grocery shopping to do that was worth a trip into the city, which we ended up doing today.

Last night, for some reason, was a sleepless night. It was one of those nights where, the more I wanted to sleep, the more wide awake I became. Not because of pain, or busy brain, or cat shenanigans. Just… awake. I finally fell asleep somewhere around 5am. I woke up a couple of hours later, as it was starting to get light out, and ended up asking my daughters to do the morning routine outside, so I could get some more sleep. The only thing they didn’t do was switch out the trail cam memory cards. Which was okay. I was considering changing from switching them in the morning to switching them in the evening.

Which turned out to be a good thing.

My younger daughter and I started heading for the city in the late morning. I was in the truck at the end of the driveway while my daughter closed the gate behind us. By the time she was in the truck and buckled in, I saw that a tractor on the road was close enough that I waited for it to go by.

I didn’t recognize him at first, but it turned out to be our vandal, sporting a new beard. Instead of driving past us, he stopped his tractor on the road, directly in front of us.

When it looked like he was going to get off the tractor, I drove around him and down the road. It’s just a short distance to a stop sign, and I could see in my mirror that he was still sitting on his tractor, in front of our driveway.

Creepy Creeper was creeping again.

As we continued on our way, my daughter texted the family to keep an eye out on things. Then she checked the security camera’s live feed and he seemed to be gone. She updated the family again as we continued on our way.

When I switched out the memory cards this evening and checked the files, I could see from the time stamps that he sat there for a full two minutes after we drove away, before finally leaving.

Creepy.

The rest of our trip to the city was uneventful, thankfully. My daughters’ shopping list was for the international grocery store I’d skipped when I did our stock up shopping last week. It happens to be near a Dollarama, so I went there first while my daughter started her shopping. I’ve been getting a particular pattern of dishes from there, but the cats knocked a couple of bowls off the counter and broke them, and I wanted to get replacements. Of course, I found a few other small items that would be useful, then met up with my daughter at the grocery store. I took advantage of the trip to pick up a few other things – bread, milk, eggs, mayo and a box of large slide-lock freezer bags (generic brand). Those five items cost over $50!

My daughter had a much larger shopping list that ended up being over $200. It looks like they’re going to be doing a lot of Asian themed cooking over the next while!

That done, we headed home, backing into the yard to unload. It was getting around 4pm by then, so I fed the outside cats to distract them so we could unload. It almost worked! My daughter unloaded the truck to the door, where I grabbed the stuff to bring in the rest of the way. She kept having to use her cane to push kittens away from the door! Even so, Sir Robin and one of Frank’s tinies still managed to get through the door once. They are so fast! Sir Robin would happily be an indoor cat. So would all three of Frank’s grublings!

Once the truck was parked and everything was put away, I headed outside. I didn’t get too much done inside the sun room. There were two plastic storage shelves, one large, one small, that could be brought in the corner I want to keep covered so the critters won’t do their business in it. I might still change things, but I put the larger shelf in front of where the bathroom window is, and the smaller shelf in the corner. The cats like to climb up to the window to say hello, but the cube shelf that was there before is a lot shorter. Cats would scramble to reach the window to look in. Now, if we decide to leave the shelf there, cats could potentially go on the top two shelves to look in.

Yes, I’m a suck for the cats!

It also means they won’t be scrabbling up the wall to reach the window sill, scratching things up, and they’re less likely to fall and potentially hurt themselves.

I moved a couple of other things in – parts of the platform we’d had on the other side, previously, a metal garbage can we used to store things like hoes and spades, plus the actual garbage can. Those were moved mostly because we might get rain tonight, and I didn’t want water getting in them.

Another part of the platform was our “summer door” to the old basement. It allowed us to keep the door open for air circulation on hot days, while keeping the cats out. It didn’t get used that way this year, because it was part of the platform and had the clamp lamps hanging off of it still.

That will get stored in the sun room, too, but first it needed a good hose down and scrubbing of the wooden frame. I’ve got it set under the canopy tent to dry. Now that we have a gallon of paint to cover the exposed wood on the isolation shelter and the box that will go in front of the ramp door to block wind and snow, I will paint the frame of this summer door, too. One of the plant stands that the cats used to get up onto the platform was also in need of a scrub. I’ve decided I will paint that, too.

With the shelves in place in the sun room, I spread the kibble trays out a bit, so they’re not all crowded on one side. I’ve been watching the live feed on the critter cam and the cats and kittens seem to be really happy with the set up. They’ve been running around and playing all over the nice, clean floor!

I could probably bring the floor mats back in, too. I forgot that they’re still hanging on the chain link fence, after getting pressure washed with the hose. These are indoor/outdoor water proof mats with a carpet-like surface. One more thing to protect tiny toe beans from a cold concrete floor, in the winter.

I still don’t know how I’m going to set up the heat lamps. One is a 250 watt ceramic heat bulb and has a protective cage so nothing can accidentally touch the bulb. I would like to have that one over the open space between the cat cage the the shelf at the window. I can’t clamp it to the shelf itself, which would be the easy thing to do, as that shelf is all cat beds, and it might get knocked about as they move around the different levels. The only other thing above the area I want to set the heat lamp is the hanging pair of shop lights. Nothing stable enough to hold a heat lamp, there.

Must think about this some more.

The second lamp should probably go closer to the cat cage, more or less where the heated water bowl will be set up, once it’s plugged in. There’s an arm bar on the wall there, but I don’t think the clamp lamp would hold onto the chrome surface very well. I could set it up on the other side of the door, but I’d rather encourage the cats to use the west facing half of the sun room.

All things to figure out over the next while. I’ll need to sort through the bins that will go into the shelves I set up today and reorganize them, which will include storing things somewhere else entirely. Once the space under the canopy tent is clear, I want to roll the isolation shelter under it, so it can be painted and protected from any rain (or snow!) we might get over the next few days. The weather apps said we might get rain storms this evening. Tomorrow, we’re supposed to get rain all day but, again, I think it’ll mostly be south of us.

I will be heading to my mother’s do to her grocery shopping tomorrow, anyhow.

*sigh*

I’ll be honest; I’m not looking forward to spending time with my mother. I never know, from one day to the next, if she’ll be having one of her good days or, more frequently, be on one of her nasty days. Ah, well. It is what it is.

Tomorrow is looking like our last warm-ish day for a while. From the long range forecast, I’ve got maybe two weeks to prepare more garden beds and get the garlic in. I might be able to hold off until the the second half of October before I do the winter sowing. Once the isolation shelter is painted, we need to set it set up by the house for the winter, where we can plug in the heat lamp and heated water bowl.

Meanwhile, we’re still waiting on that new pre-hung door that needs to be installed! They have to move a hand rail against the wall to do it, which means the isolation shelter can’t be set up against that wall until the door is installed.

Lots to do, and not a lot of time to get it done.

On a completely different note, while I was doing my evening rounds, I was happy to see more flowers blooming.

Not only are both the asters and Cosmos blooming, but there are even a couple of late nasturtiums!

I’m still holding out hope that the warm weather will last long enough that I can collect seeds from the memorial asters.

The Re-Farmer

A day in the city, and a cheeky thief!

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Today was my day to get into the city for my appointment with the sports injury clinic about my hip.

I had a really rough and sleepless night. Not because of my hip this time, but I kept waking up and just generally couldn’t settle in. As dawn approached, I messaged my daughters, who both ended up awake all night, and asked them to take care of the morning routine for me, so I could try and get more sleep. I didn’t want to be driving to the city feeling the way I did.

They were sweethearts and took care of the entire morning routine for me, from feeding the cats to switching out the memory cards on the trail cams, to all the yard and garden checks.

My appointment was for 1pm, and I made sure to check the maps for the address. It turned out to be well within the area we normally do our not-Costco shopping. My landmark was a Shell gas station that seemed to share a driveway with the clinic, from what I could see on the satellite map.

Still, I ended up leaving about 2 hours before the appointment, even though it would take only a little more than an hour to drive there.

I am so glad I did!

As I was heading out and reached the first highway, there was an ambulance, lights on but no siren, that turned towards the north of us. A short distance away, I could see the vehicles of volunteer fire fighters at the fire station, and the fire truck was gone. On the other side of town, there were a couple of police vehicle, sirens and lights going, rushing through.

When I got to the next highway, I paused at a case station to pick up an energy drink and a sandwich (made by the restaurant in our little hamlet) for “breakfast”, and messaged my family. They kept tabs on the news, but nothing came up. Hopefully, whatever happened, no one was seriously harmed.

The highway I took into the city turned into the street that went past the clinic I needed to go to, so no turning or side trips needed.

Almost.

When I reached the Shell station, I went past and turned at the next entry, trying to find a street number, somewhere. I ended up driving around a building and, on the side facing the gas station, finally saw a sign over a door, saying “medical clinic and mall entrance”. That entire side of the building was all grey concrete, with a few service doors along the way. You really needed to want to find this place to get there!

I went in and the inside was just as bleak. Nothing but narrow hallways with lots of doors. The doors all had signs for different businesses, with some saying “employees only”. Eventually, I reached a door that actually had the street address on it.

It was a different address.

???

I headed back out and went into the Shell station, and asked the guy behind the counter. I gave the address I was after, and the name of the clinic, but all he could tell me is what his own address was and point vaguely further down the street.

*sigh*

So, off I went again and continued down the street until…

I passed another Shell station.

I’ve gone down this street so many times, but only really paid attention to where I needed to go. I had no idea there were two Shell stations so close together.

This one, however, had a very new looking building with a big sign and the name of the clinic. I swear, it wasn’t there the last time I drove this far.

I also drove right past it. Missed the entrance completely.

I was able to turn around and go back fairly easily but, again, you really had to want to find this place! The building may have been well marked, but the entry and exit lanes were very hard to see.

Then, there was finding the right door. It turns out this place has several related clinics in it, plus a pharmacy with a drive through (very unusual in our neck of the woods).

By the time I got to the right place, I was only 10 or so minutes early.

They did take me in a bit late, but not by much. The first person to see me was not the main doctor. He introduced me to himself with his first name only, telling me he was an orthopedic surgeon from China. Since he had just given me a very English name to us, I’m guessing his real name is hard for English speakers to pronounce! Much like my previous doctor who used his initials as his name.

This doctor started off by asking all sorts of questions to try and get a bead on why I was there.

By the time he was done, he seemed a bit perplexed. The thing that seemed to make it more difficult to figure out is that the hip troubles I’m having only really happen when I lie down to try and sleep. The more I try to relax, the worse the pain. It’s actually been a lot better lately, but it’s not gone away.

After a lot of questions and discussion, and looking at my file (for some reason, my most recent X-rays didn’t come up; just the report), he left to consult with the doctor my appointment was with. Then he came back with more questions before leaving again to consult with the doctor.

The doctor I was booked with swung by a short time later, apologizing for the wait (which I really didn’t notice as a problem) and said he just had to finish with another patient, and then he would be back to talk with me.

When he came back and we started talking, he was able to give me a diagnosis. GTPS. Greater Trochanteric Pain Syndrome. In looking it up, I can see why there was some confusion. My pain is really, really localized, and it happens only at certain times. My thought is that the anti-inflammatories I’m on, as low a dose as it is, helps with most of the symptoms that I would normally be feeling, or feeling more acutely, and now it’s just that hip joint that the anti-inflammatories aren’t enough to help with.

The other doctor had already given the area a physical exam, plus he also had me doing a number of range of motion tests. I had no issues with range of motion at all. During the physical exam at one point, he had me lying on my back, got me to lift one leg at a time, while he pressed down on my thigh. I was to resist his pushing my leg down as much as I could. He wasn’t able to push my leg down. When I got up from that, he commented that I had a lot of muscle.

The primary doctor got me on the table again, too, but he focused on finding the exact area in my hip to work on. That location would be the site for an injection. At first, as he poked and prodded, it was no big deal, but then he found THE spot. WOW did that ever hurt! Worse, he kept having to poke and prod around the area to find where the pain was the most acute.

Ouch.

That done, he explained the situation and that they could try a steroid injection. Which is exactly what my regular doctor and I were expecting. He wanted to know if I could come back tomorrow, or if I was okay to wait to get it done today. I told him, it’s a long drive, so I’m more than willing to wait to get it done today!

That decided, he had another patient to see before he could come back. While I was waiting, the first doctor came back to check on me and make sure everything was all right.

I didn’t have all that long to wait, really, and I was able to update my family on things. When the doctor came back, he made sure to go through all the usual disclaimers, then got me up on the table again. More poking and prodding to find the right location. He actually inserted the needle at one point, without doing the injection, and I didn’t even feel it compared to how much the poking and prodding hurt, when he hit that “sweet spot”. He ended up moving the needle to a different location before finally giving the injection. He told me it would take a while for the anesthetic to kick in, but there still might be pain in the injection location later on. I was also warned that there might be a “rebound” affect, where the area might actually hurt more before it starts feeling better.

He wanted to do a follow up with me in two weeks. Looking at my calendar, I asked if 4 weeks would be okay. In the end, he said he didn’t need me to actually come in, in person, and we could do a phone appointment in 2 weeks, instead. Which was just fine by me!

All in all, I was really happy with how things went. I now have a name for what’s going on with my hip and, hopefully, the steroid injection will make the difference. For some people, it doesn’t help at all, for others, it helps, but by how much is really an individual thing.

That done, I made the telephone appointment and headed out. I had a couple more places to go to.

My first stop was a Canadian Tire. I remembered to bring a paint sample for the colour of the isolation shelter. The exposed wood on it needs to be painted before winter, plus I want to pain the wind/snow break box that fits in front of the door when it’s open at its winter location.

Unfortunately, the piece of painted wood I brought as a sample wasn’t smooth enough. The colour matching machine “saw” it as a grey. So the paint person and I went looking at the colour samples and found one that was pretty close, and she tinted a gallon for me.

When she opened it up afterwards, though, we were both pretty surprised. The purple was a LOT darker than it should have been. She checked and double checked, and she had all the inputs and base paint correct. Yet the result was a darker purple than any of their samples!

After talking about it, we decided on another shade that we had been choosing between. It’s lighter, but not by much. When she tinted another gallon of paint, this one worked out and matched the colour sample. It’ll look a bit darker when dry, but will still be lighter than the original. It’s just for the cat isolation shelter, though, so it’s not like it’s meant for anything fancy. It’ll be close enough!

That done, I also picked up a large bag of kibble for the inside cats, some wood screws I needed, and a quick release hose connector repair kit. I also went looking and found a “calming” spray for the cats. We’ve got a lot of problems with some of them pissing outside of the litter boxes and other places – that’s why we go through so many puppy pads – which is likely stress related. I’ve been looking at pheromone diffusers, too, but all they had here was the spray. I decided it was worth a try.

I was able to pay for all this with my Canadian Tire dollars, so nothing at all came out of budget.

My next stop was the Walmart nearby. My husband gave me his card, a budget and a shopping list that included another bag of kibble for the inside cats. We should be set for the month for both inside and outside cats now. Along with a few grocery items, I ended up getting another box of moon cakes, very different from the last ones I got. The Autumn Festival is over now, so they were on clearance. I snagged a package of chestnuts, too, because they were also on clearance. I love chestnuts, but I seem to be the only one in the household that likes them!

With all this walking around, I did have some issues with my left hip after a while. Not pain, but it did feel… unstable. I used shopping cards as if they were walkers and was limping but, overall, the hip and injection site were feeling pretty good.

The shopping done, I was soon on my way home. By then, it was late enough that I asked my daughters to do the evening outside cat feeding, too.

When I got home, I was going to pull up to the house to unload, forgetting the vehicle gate to the inner yard was still closed. I don’t think we need to worry about that heifer getting through the outer yard fence again, and if he does, I really don’t think he’d wander into the inner yard, all by himself. Too far from the rest of the herd. I’ve left the gate open with that in mind. Hopefully, we won’t find ourselves with cows in the inner yard tomorrow! 😄

After everything was put away and I had my supper, I decided to head outside to walk around before it got dark. I brought out the hose repair kit and cut off the leaking and of a hose at the tap, only to discover…

I bought a quick release connector kit. Not a repair and quick release kit. I ended up having to switch hoses so I could still reach to water the winter and summer squash, until I can get the proper kit to replace the hose end I’d cut off! At least I was able to water what needed to be watered.

While I was outside still, my phone gave me a notification for a voice mail message.

It didn’t ring, of course.

Yes, it was home care again.

This time, it wasn’t to let me know about a cancellation, though! The person who was to see my mother for her bed time med assist was having vehicle troubles, and would my mother be okay if she came in almost an hour early, instead?

This time, the scheduler actually left a phone number, so I went in to use the land line to call back. I tried to listen to the message again to get the number, but I couldn’t access voice mail. Apparently, my number isn’t “registered” (I’m having no end of troubles with wi-fi calling!) and I had to go back outside to get enough data signal to listen to the message again and get the number. I had the land line handset with me and tried to call.

It failed. Twice.

Finally, on the third try, I got through.

It rang, then went straight to voice mail. The voice mail with the message saying no one would be checking the messages outside of office hours.

Why ask me to call back, if I can’t get through to a person, and any message I leave wouldn’t be listened to until the next day?

Still, I left a quick message confirming early visits to my mother was okay, then I called my mother.

After how terrible the call went the last time I talked to her, this one was actually almost pleasant! I had interrupted her evening prayers and was going to make it short, but she was talkative and kept me on the phone. I finally was able to end the call because the med assist was supposed to arrive.

That done, I was finally able to go back outside to finish my walkabout – this time with a flashlight, because it was full dark!

I heard some strange noises as soon as I came out. Noises from the shrive feeding station.

I chased away the skunk, then saw something moving in the isolation shelter.

I found this bugger!

Yup. That’s a raccoon in the cat bed! It had been at the empty food bowl when I first came over, then went to “hide” in the cat bed.

What cheek!

I did get it out, but it was really a moot point by then. There was no kibble left, anyhow.

Then I went and chased the skunk out of the sun room.

Once I was done my walkabout and settled at my computer, I got the live feed to the critter cam open. Since then, I’ve had to chase both skunks and raccoons out of the sun room, several times!

Greedy buggers.

It’s been getting really, really hard to get in and out through the old kitchen door into the sun room, lately. Frank’s three littles, plus a couple other really tiny kittens, all make a mad rush for the old kitchen door. They want in, so badly!! I really hope there’s a rescue out there than can take Frank and her babies. The new rescue we’re working with is putting feelers out, I’m told, so we’ll see.

Anyhow. That’s how the day went today. As I write this, I can say that my hip is feeling a lot better now. Tonight will be the first litmus test, though.

I might even be able to sleep on my left side and not wake up in massive pain for a change!

That would be pretty awesome!

The Re-Farmer

Work in the garden is good for the heart – especially when our mothers aren’t.

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I had two main goals for today. The first was to take care of my mother’s morning med assist and do her grocery shopping. The second was to get more progress cleaning up in the garden beds.

My mother turned out to be having one of “those” days.

It actually started off okay. She was in bed and not wanting to get up. I can’t say I blame her! She told me she feels like she just wants to lie in bed all the time, these days.

I got her morning meds out. I took out her other type if inhaler, too – the one that home care workers aren’t allowed to give her. I’d already talked to her about the doctor removing it from her med assist list for home care, and she doesn’t need to take it anymore, but when I’d called last night to let her know I’d be coming over, she told me she decided she would keep taking it after all.

When I brought it out, I told her again, she doesn’t need to use it. The doctor removed it from her prescription list. The experiment was to see if she had asthma, and she clearly doesn’t. It won’t hurt her to take it, but it’s not helping her and she doesn’t need to.

Usually, my mother is all about trying to drop her medications because she doesn’t think they’re helping. If they were helping, why does she feel this, or that, or this other thing? when her meds are for completely different things. Now she has a medication that was a trail, it isn’t helping her, she doesn’t need it… and suddenly she wants to keep taking it?

I told her I’d planned to take it to the pharmacy for proper disposal, but in the end I just left it out of the lock box for her to take or not take. It only has 28 doses left in it, so 14 days of daily use, if she keeps it up.

She had not made her shopping list, so after she took her medications, I went through her fridge and cupboards and we talked about what she needed before sitting down and making her list with her. Then she gave me cash in an envelope; I always make sure that the change and receipt is put back into it for her to go over at her leisure, later on.

All of that went smoothly, and I was soon back and putting everything away for her.

My brain is already trying to wipe things out, but I think it was the spaghetti squash that started it.

This is what WP AI image generator thinks my mother looks like.

My mother no longer has a garden plot, officially, but she did grow a spaghetti squash along the fence outside her window, which produced for her a single spaghetti squash. She’d already eaten half of it, but struggles with the hard skin, so she offered the other half to me. I politely declined, saying I was the only one in the family that likes spaghetti squash.

That lead to a lecture on how we’re all so fussy, and that it just needs to be cooked right (she still thinks I don’t know how to cook), etc.

Then she offered me some of the seeds she’d saved from her spaghetti squash. Again, I politely declined (I just told her I’m the only one that likes it; why would I grow something no one else wants to eat?) and told her I have lots of seeds.

While all this conversation was going on, I started sweeping her floor and doing other little things, as I usually try to do for her. She kept going on about the garden, asking me about how our garden is. I had told her before that it was a messed up year, but I told her again, things were really behind this year. We had the spring with hot days in May, but too cold nights. Then we had drought conditions, heat waves, and wildfire smoke. So the garden really sufferred.

Oh, I’m the only one complaining about the smoke! No one else is! (I wasn’t complaining, just listing it among other things) I have two daughters to help me! I should have a big garden, etc. etc. etc. I should have so much food from the garden, etc. etc. I told her, we did have some, just not much, and even tried to show her pictures of the winter squash and said I have been managing to keep them from freezing. Freezing? she asked. I guess she forgot that we’ve already had frost, and that our nights are getting pretty cold.

Then she just flat out said: I’m a bad gardener

My response was, And you’re very rude.

She agreed.

???

It was around that time, when I’d just finished sweeping her floor and was about to start emptying all her garbage cans, that the door opened and my brother walked in! He’d been on the way to the farm and decided to swing past my mother’s place to see if I was still there. He saw a Caravan parked, and knew the courtesy vehicle I had was a Caravan, so he decided to pop in.

He barely walked in and gave her a hug hello when she started going at him, immediately asking about pictures of his grand kids. My brother has shown her digital pictures, but she wants something she can tack onto her wall. The problem is, the last time he gave her prints of the grand kids, the first thing she did was ask if one of his grandsons was Downs Syndrome or something. Which neither of them are, but she didn’t like how one of them looked and basically said he looked retarded.

Needless to say, he’s not eager to give her more photos of his grandsons.

I don’t even know if he has a printer anymore. My sister’s the one that’s into that stuff, so she’s got a high end printer. I think my mother even paid for it. Anyhow, I tried to distract her away from that, then continued into empty her garbage cans into one bag then, emptied her commode.

Which is how I missed the first part of what they’d started talking about. I didn’t get the straight of it until much later, here at the farm, as we filled in my SIL.

It turns out our vandal had showed up at my mother’s place on Tuesday. The day the mental health assessor was interviewing my mother. It seems he walked right into her apartment and immediately started ranting at her, right in front of a stranger, about how she gave the farm to me (????), then started saying nasty things about my one of my daughters, (getting them mixed up, apparently) that were complete fabrications. He hasn’t seen either of them in years. Someone, however, seems to be telling him things (like my younger daughter having a PCOS beard), and then he’s going from there and just making things up. He didn’t even use my daughter’s correct name! Whichever one he meant to be talking about, anyhow.

My mother, however, believed him. ?!?! She started saying that it was true. As if she knows any better?

I’d asked my mother before about how that meeting with the mental health assessor went, and she just brushed her off in disgust, saying she wasn’t any use, and had told my mother something along the lines of, “there are people worse off than you”. Which is true, but pissed my mother off. My mother did NOT mention that our vandal showed up.

Or that the interview was cut short and that the assessor left with our vandal.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Red flag time!

Now that we know this happened, both my brother and I plan to phone the mental health assessor. If I’d known earlier, I would have already phoned her by now!

Meanwhile, in the middle of all this, my mother found the time to ask us to take her angel here to the farm. Years ago, my brother bought her a resin garden decor angel that my mother just loves. She’s been doing a lot of “when I go up-up, who is going to take this? Who is going to take that?” After confirming that no one else among my siblings wanted it, I assured her it would go to the farm. It’s made to be outdoors, so I said I would set it up somewhere nice.

My brother and I then joked that we should set it up facing the gate, so our vandal would see it and maybe be reminded that the things he’s doing isn’t particularly Godly. Or whatever.

Today, my mother brought it up and asked if we could take it.

That was our cue.

My poor brother was there for less than 10 minutes, and got jumped all over right from the moment he came in. He didn’t even have time to finish giving her a hello hug before she started, and he was more than happy to leave right away.

In bringing the angel out, he noticed there was a crack under one wing. That led to a whole other thing with my mother, because she didn’t know it was there. My brother suggested it had fallen over, but she said it had never fallen. We quickly distracted away from guessing, though. Later on, my brother said it probably happened when her apartment was being fumigated, and someone knocked it over. She’s already convinced the exterminator stole things from her, so my brother wasn’t about to bring that up around her!

We headed out together, with me taking her garbage out and my brother carrying the angel to load into the van. I used the fob to open the rear gate for him before going out the other door to the building’s garbage bin.

As I came around, my brother was trying to figure out how to get the angel into the back. One of the third row of seats would need to be folded down. As he was looking around, I decided to open up the side door to try and see from the other side. I had the key fob in my hand as I did.

I accidentally hit the panic button on the fob – or so I thought. The horn started honking an alarm.

I tried hitting the panic button again, but it only changed the pattern of honking. I couldn’t see how to shut the honking off, and the buttons I pushed didn’t work! My brother has seen this type of square key fob before, so I showed it to him, but he didn’t know either. He just started smashing buttons, and it stopped.

Well, the entire neighbourhood now knew we were there!

In the end, I figured out that I hadn’t accidentally hit the panic button. I had tried to open the door, while it was still locked. I didn’t even know the van had an alarm, but with the rear gate open, I thought the other doors were unlocked as well for some reason. So I had set off the car alarm. I think it stopped when my brother hit the unlock button while button smashing!

At least it worked.

We then headed off here to the farm.

I brought the angel to the door, messaging a daughter to bring it in. Because of the cracked wing, it will need to be repaired and sealed before we set it up outside. Otherwise, water will get inside it.

I joined my brother and SIL in their “new” camper – it’s the first time I’ve been inside it – and we had a chance to catch up my SIL on how things went. My brother and I both needed to decompress, that’s for sure! There was more than what I mention here, of course. The main concern was our vandal showing up like that – and leaving with the mental health assessor!

After we had a visit, I left them to their work. They needed to winterize the camper and the trailer, and would only be around for a few hours. I headed in to grab lunch, change and get to work in the garden.

Which was very therapeutic. Part way through, my younger daughter even came out to check on me and make sure I was okay, after that visit, which was much appreciated.

My focus for today was on the beds with carrots in them, both winter sown and spring sown. I started on the East yard garden bed, removing the bamboo stake trellis that was holding up the radish bushes, first.

After the trellis was removed, I pulled all the remaining radishes – this bed had quite a few go to seed – and lettuces. Some of the lettuce were going to seed, so I broke off the tops and set them aside to collect the seeds later. Everything else went onto the compost pile.

While this bed had the same root vegetable mix as the high raised bed, it also had lettuce seeds added. Those grew so well, they became a weed and choked other things out. I was curious to see how the carrots did, under those conditions.

The answer is “surprisingly well”.

They’re mostly small, and some of the smallest ones at the end just got added to the compost pile, but it was actually better than I expected. There were even a few of the orange “Napoli” carrots in there. Those seeds were pretty old, so I wasn’t sure what to expect with them.

Once the carrots were harvested, I went over the entire bed, loosening the soil and pulling weeds, none of which could be added to the compost pile, or they’d start growing again!

There was one carrot that had gone to seed, so I gave it a support stake and left it to finish maturing.

The soil was pretty compacted and hard to clear. I know there’s still lots of weeds in there, but I plan to amend the soil before any winter sowing gets done, so there will be time to get more of them.

From there, I moved on to the high raised bed.

Again, I pulled the few radish bushes that were left in there, then started on harvesting the carrots. These ones were not crowed out, like the other winter sown bed was, and I could really see a difference!

I was pleasantly surprised by how many orange Napoli carrots there were.

Once the carrots were out and I started weeding, I found these…

A couple of those beets are supposed to be white, but they look more yellow than white. Then there are the teeny onions. I’d picked what beets we had, earlier, but these had no greens left (thanks to the deer), so I’d missed them. As for the onions, I’d included onion seeds in the mixed, but only a couple managed to form proper bulbs. With these ones, I could potentially use them as sets for next year.

Once again, I left a carrot gone to seed. It had branches sprawling all over, but now they’re held together in the support stake. I’ve already cut some of the seed heads off a while back, as they were fully dry, and now there’s more that I could probably harvest now.

The next bed to work on was the spring sown bed. Being in an almost ground level bed, it was easier. I could just go along each side with the garden fork to loosen the soil, first.

Which was much needed. Compaction is a definite problem.

The first carrots I picked where the Uzbek Golden carrots using our home made seed tape.

I’m rather surprised by how well these did.

There was also a surprise orange carrot among them! I also noticed that some of the yellow carrots had a more orange caste to them as well.

The other side were the Atomic Red carrots.

With these ones, we’ve been thinning by harvesting, as needed. That gave them space to get bigger… but they didn’t get much longer! These are supposed to be a deep red and quite long. Instead, we have light orange and stubby.

Odd.

I didn’t continue cleaning up the bed, though. That’s for another day. This took several hours – my brother and SIL headed out before I even finished the first bed, it took so long – and it was time to stop.

Not before gathering the harvest and giving it a quick hose down, first.

A lot of them are pretty small, which will make them harder to work with, but that’s a pretty decent amount of carrots. Plus a few bonus beets!

I was glad to have the work to do. Physical labour goes a long way to working out any stress and, after being with my mother this morning, I had plenty of stress to work off!

Now, I need to head back outside. It’s getting dark, and we’re in for a cold enough night that the winter squash need to be covered again.

But I’m such a bad gardener, don’t ya know!

The Re-Farmer

One more little harvest, and how the morning went

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Well, I did get some more stuff done in the garden, even remembered to upload a couple of photos – then completely forgot about the post I meant to write! 😄

Anyhow…

I decided to harvest most of the eggplant, just pruning the entire plants at their base so I could reach the fruit better.

They look so much like tomatoes, don’t they?

In the end, I left three plants. In the next photo, you can see the green eggplants on one plant. On another plant, I did find a few tiny green eggplants, and on the third, I couldn’t find anything at all – that’s the one that was the most damaged by cold – but I left it anyhow. After removing the extra cages and doing a bit more clean up, I moved the jugs of water in between the remaining three plants to act as heat sinks on nights they’ll need to be covered. I did a bit of clean up in the rectangular bed as well, then gave everything a watering from the rain barrel.

Today was supposed to reach a high of 24C/75F, but we ended up hitting 26C/79F. The over night low is supposed to be around 12C/54F, so I didn’t cover the winter squash, but I did give them and the summer squash a thorough watering, too. It was starting to get pretty dark by then, which is when both my daughters came out, looking for me. They’d messaged me, but I never heard the notification, so they were coming out to make sure I was okay! That was sweet of them. :-)

The end of the day was a lot calmer than the start.

This morning was my telephone appointment with my mother’s doctor, so I did short rounds so that I could be close to the phone during the 1 1/2 hour time frame I was given for her to call. Thankfully, she called closer to 8am than 9:30!

We talked about my mother’s inhaler being out, and about her refusal to spend to much money on the refills (the one inhaler cost almost as much as her bubble packs). We also talked about how it really wasn’t helping her breathing, anyhow, and I suggested it get dropped from her med list. The doctor asked about my mother’s breathing issues, and I told her she does still have problems, particularly at night, and described her situation.

In the end, she agreed to drop the inhaler from my mother’s meds, which would require a letter to home care. I could hear her typing it as we spoke, so she was right on that.

After that call was done, I called the home care coordinator. It’s actually a different one, in another region, as the one for our area is on holidays. When I told her about the call with the doctor, and that she could expect the letter, she told me she’d sent a note to the doctor, yesterday, asking for her letter to be sent to her office in another town, since there’s no one to check emails at our local office. I don’t think the doctor had seen it before she called me.

It will take some time for the change to my mother’s med assist instructions to go through. Once the home care coordinator gets the letter from the doctor, it gets sent to a nurse. Only a nurse is allowed to make the actual med assist instructions. Once that is updated, the revised instructions will go into my mother’s file that the home care aids have with them, when they do her assists.

Until then, the coordinator can let the home care aids know the change is in the works. Since my mother is out of that inhaler, anyhow, it will be as if it’s gone through, already.

That done, I updated my siblings in our group chat, then phoned my mother. By this time, it was past 9am and I knew her med assist should have come and gone for the morning.

When I mentioned to my other that I spoke to the doctor, she told me that doctor had already called her! She must have called right after talking to me. She had asked my mother, what can I do for you? My mother wasn’t expecting the call, so she told her that she was having her breakfast just then – and then the home care worker arrived to give her her meds, so they finished off the call. Then my mother asked me, what should she tell the doctor?

???

I told her that we’d been talking about her inhaler not helping, getting it off her med list, and that I had told the doctor she was still having breathing issues. My mother knew I was doing this for her, but I guess she forgot all about it.

As for having the inhaler removed from her med list, you’d think she would have been happy, as she’s always complaining that she is taking soooooo many medications and keeps wanting to drop them. Nope. She just told me that the home care aid that had come in this morning – her favourite one – had actually used one of the other brand inhalers in my mother’s lock box. Which, technically, she should not have done, but it’s what the hospital has been using with her and given her a prescription for. She had prescriptions for two different types of inhalers at the same time, for a while.

After I explained to her that it might take a while before the home care aids officially have a change in her med assist instructions, they will be told the inhaler is being dropped, so they don’t have to fuss about her not having the one on their list anymore.

We were just finishing what had been a pleasant conversation when she remembered the Pepto.

The eight bottles of Pepto my brother had bought for her so she wouldn’t have to worry about running out. It’s one of the few things she takes where she can actually notice she feels better.

She started off saying, she never asked him to get it for him. As if this was somehow his “fault”. I was eventually able to say that I was the one that mentioned to him and my sister that I hadn’t been able to get any for her, so she didn’t need to ask him.

Then she started ranting and railing. It’s too many, it’s up high in her cupboard, and it’s such a terrible thing that he got her so many bottles. I told her, this is a good thing. This is a helpful thing. She should have enough to last her a year! It’s something she takes regularly.

Oh, no, she told me. She only takes it when she needs it.

…

I told her, I didn’t mean that she was taking it every day, several times a day. Just… regularly.

What I was eventually able to figure out is that my mother thinks that they will go back. Because they’re medicine. They’re liquid. She’s not stupid.

…

I told her, they are fine. This is not like a prescription medication. They’re not like food. They last for years.

It does explain why she insists on keeping her open bottle in the fridge, though.

After I told her, several times, that they will be fine and won’t go bad, telling her that we keep ours in the bathroom cupboard with no issues, she said that she would see; she would ask a “professional” about it. A doctor even. They will tell her.

I told her, she’ll just be told the same thing I was telling her. Then I told her to call the pharmacy. Talk to the pharmacist. He’ll tell her.

Which got her to asking where my brother got them from, the pharmacy? (meaning the one in her town). I told her no, he got them at Costco (which turned out to be wrong; I later found out they were out at Costco, and he found them at Superstore).

Her response?

Oh, from China, then.

?????

I told her, it’s the exact same brand that I get for her a her pharmacy. It’s the same.

Oh, you know there are so many scams out there, she tells me.

…

I told her to stop making problems up where there are none.

She kept on ranting that my brother should not have gotten her so many. I told her, he was being kind to her. “It was “too much” kindness”, she retorted. Like she was being sarcastic, except meaner.

During this, it occurred to me that I might just take the bottles and bring them here to the farm to store until she starts running out again. I wasn’t going to bring that up at the time, though.

I did remind her to use the little cup to take a full dose. She usually just throws them away and uses a teaspoon. As in, a spoon for tea, not a measuring spoon, so the actual amount she’s taking is probably less than a third of what the dose is supposed to be. Apparently, that’s all it takes to help.

By the time I got off the phone with her, my brain was pretty fried. It can get so very hard to follow what she’s saying, to get to what she actually means. I completely forgot to ask her how things went with the mental health assessor, yesterday!

I did make sure to update my siblings again before I started forgetting details. Which happens very quickly, with how convoluted conversations with my mother can get.

My poor brother. Every time he tries to do something nice for her, she gets weird about it in some way. I think it bothers me more because if it were our vandal getting something for her, she would be singing his praised for years. Which she actually does. No matter how horribly he treats her, she makes him out to be a saint because he did something nice for her, 20 years ago. But my brother has been taking care of her and her affairs, diligently and with great care for her, often seeing what she needs long before she sees it herself, and he just can’t do anything right by her. Something as simple as getting her a supply of something she has made a big deal over how much better it makes her feel has been blown out of proportion into this huge drama as if he’d done something nasty to her.

My heart aches so much for my brother. He deserves so much better. And she still doesn’t understand just how badly she stabbed him in the back, some time ago. She’s fortunate he’s a good man and a good son, and hasn’t simply cut her out of his life entirely.

*sigh*

Once I was done with the calls, I needed to take some time to wind down and decompress. I had to go into my mother’s town – something I did NOT mention to her at all – to hit the feed store for more kibble, which my daughter generously paid for. The bag of donated kibble was a 7kg bag, so it didn’t last long, and we were down to dregs by this morning..

A forty pound bag of the brand we get, which is more expensive (not even the outside cats will eat the cheaper brand if they can avoid it), comes out to $62 and change, after taxes. Forty pounds is just over 18kg. That works out to about $3.44/kg after taxes.

Locally, a 9kg bag costs $45 and change (or more), before taxes, which is about $5/kg. At Walmart, a 9kg bag costs about $35, before taxes, or about $3.88/kg. The Costco Kirkland brand of kibble is a better price, but not by much. There is the other feed store, to the north of us, that has a brand that cats like that has a slightly better price, but the drive is longer. Worth it, if I’m getting more than one bag.

All of that, including a trip into my mother’s town, and it was barely noon when I got home.

It felt like it should have been several hours later!

Speaking of later, I just realized what time it is! It’s past 1am! When did that happen?

😄😂

Time to get to bed! There’s lots of work to do outside, while the weather is good!

The Re-Farmer

So tired

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Not physically tired.

Mentally tired.

Emotionally tired.

My brother and I visited with my mother today, at her request. We were there for almost three hours, with my brother ordering and picking up a lunch for us.

I’m not even going to get into it much, but she was all over the place. From getting mad at my brother, instead of grateful, because he picked up enough Pepto (which she says helps her so much) that she won’t run out again for probably a year (she actually said that she might sell some of them, before my brother even finished taking them out of the bag!), to talking about our vandal like he was some kind of saint for “helping” my dad so much before my dad went into the nursing home (he was actually pretty abusive to my dad, and his abusive behaviour towards my mother is why she moved off the farm in the first place), and so on.

When she started on how wonderful our vandal is, I figured that was a good time for me to take out her garbage. I just had to get out of there. A part of me understands that here’s some sort of guilt association on her part towards him. Considering how she treats those who are actually kind and helpful to her, and how she treats someone who was abusive towards her in between “helping” (because he thought he would get this property for it), really doesn’t sit well with me. Truthfully, though, theirs was a mutually abusive relationship.

We never got around to talking about her car at all, nor about her possibly helping us with the cost of replacing the door and frame, but she did bring up some “grand” ideas that would have completely messed up her own finances, which my brother, thankfully for her, has been keeping in order for her.

At least she was grateful, sort of, I think, for the cordless kettle my brother got for her. I had no idea she was worried about using her stove top kettle. Now she has a kettle that will shut itself off. We made sure to get it set up and tested out for her, and made sure she knew how to use it.

By the time we left, I was honestly feeling the most depressed and psychologically exhausted I have in ages – and this was a “good” visit!

So here is some cuteness, instead.

I’ve moved that blue tray into the portable greenhouse so it wouldn’t get rained on. A lot of the kittens like to hang out in there, so it didn’t take long for them to find it!

The size difference between these two was just too adorable. They look like they could be father and offspring! That’s Stinky, though, and he’s neutered, so they’re probably half-siblings, instead.

This evening, I did take recordings for the September garden tour video. I started and restarted several times before I could get into it, just because my head space was still messed up from the visit with my mother. I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much today, but I’ve been finding myself on the verge of tears repeatedly, since I left her place.

On another topic, Eyelet has settled in quite well at the foster’s. Meanwhile, I’m going to be meeting up with the woman who started the new rescue tomorrow afternoon. She has some cat food donations for us! That is so very appreciated. Plus, I’ll finally get to meet her in person!

For now, I should start editing the garden tour video. Hopefully, that will help my mood, somewhat. 🫤

We shall see.

The Re-Farmer

The rain has stopped, and Eyelet is in being spoiled rotten!

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Well, today’s schedule sure changed.

First, a quick update with the home care crazy from yesterday. The plan was, if the guy didn’t come back to do my mother’s bed time med assist, as he said he would, by 9pm, I would drive over to do it.

My mother called me at 8:50 (the actual scheduled time) so say, no one arrived. I wasn’t 100% sure she was scheduled for 8:50, and sometimes they come late, which is why I asked her to call me if no one showed up at 9. I asked her to wait a bit longer and if he still didn’t come, let me know and I’d go over.

My other told me to not bother. She would just take some Tylenol and go to bed. She would be okay.

*sigh*

I hated to do that, but I also really didn’t want to drive to her town, in the dark, in the rain.

This morning, after I did my rounds (it was still raining), I gave her a call.

In which I will pause to share the cuteness! The first picture was taken last night, the second this morning.

Seeing Colby on top of his sister like that is adorable!

She needs a name.

Anyhow… back to calling my mother!

My mother told me she’d had a great night.

Then started going on about how the Tylenol helped so much more than her medications did.

Red flag time! My mother has done this before. Basically, she’s convincing herself that the medications aren’t doing her any good, because she has these other problems. How can she be taking all these medications, but still feel have all these other things? This time, because Tylenol did such a great job with her pains, to her that meant it was working better than her medications.

I have explained this to her before, but I did it again. NONE of her medications are for pain. They are all for different things, and I mentioned a few of them. Unfortunately, I could hear in the tone of her response that she was basically not believing me.

It’s a good thing she gets home care med assists, or she would start skipping her meds regularly, or picking and choosing which ones to take. Again.

To distract, I then asked her about her grocery shopping. She said she was only out of milk and hadn’t started a list. She was in her night gown and didn’t feel like getting dressed. I told her, don’t bother getting dressed, and I’ll help with the list. She was quite happy with that arrangement!

Since I was going to be dropping Eyelet off in the early evening, I wanted to get to my mothers a little bit earlier than usual. Once there, I first focused on her meds. I found a pill organizer and took the meds out of her “orphan” bubbles; last night’s bed time meds and a Monday morning bubble that’s been carried over to new packs for a couple of months now. I made sure to write down which meds they were and tucked the note in one of the organizer spots and tucked the whole thing away. My mother has strict instructions to leave them, unless there’s an “emergency”. I also prepared her bed time meds for tonight – I brought another of the tiny tagine sauce bowls to keep them in – and set up another note with it, setting it aside with the note facing where my mother sits at her table.

That done, we started working on her shopping list. It was mostly her usual items, but we did remember to include things we’d forgotten last time, like the instant oatmeal that makes things so much easier for her. Some things were just “see what looks good” type stuff. When she gave me cash for the trip, she included a bit extra, asking me to keep an eye out for anything else I might spot and know she would like.

Which worked out well. I was able to get her extra fruit that she likes but normally wouldn’t get. Today, they happened to be on sale. Her favourite bread was on sale, so I got extra for her freezer. That sort of thing. As I put things away, I always go over what I got and what changes I made, and she was very happy with the selections. Before putting the milk carton in the fridge, I made sure to open it for her, and I’m glad I did. For some reason, every now and then, they just don’t want to open. If it’s difficult for me to open, that would make it almost impossible for my mother to open! I do wish her grocery store still had their 2L milk in jugs as well as cartons, as jugs are so much better for people with mobility issues in their hands.

That done, I made sure to give her floor a sweep before heading out. One of her neighbours that has a garden plot has been sharing their bounty of tomatoes by leaving them in the common room for anyone to take. My mother keeps taking some, even though she already has, and is supposed to avoid acidic foods like tomatoes. So she gave me an ice cream bucket full to take home! We still haven’t finished off the last bunch she gave us!

Once I was in the truck, I started messaging my family to let them know the status of things. Which is when I started getting messages from the woman I was to bring Eyelet to. She was wondering if I could bring him to a different address, as she’d forgotten she was supposed to go there after her work this evening. It wasn’t far from her own address, so that worked out okay.

We continued our conversation as I got home when she asked when I was planning to head out with Eyelet. I told her, but mentioned that I was flexible, now that I was done with my mother’s grocery shopping. She asked if I could bring him in right away. The new address is for a foster that already had a room ready for him and was home.

!!!

I was back on the road with Eyelet within 10 minutes. My daughter went looking for him as I got a carrier prepared. Finding him was easy. He was napping in the sun room.

He did not appreciate being awakened, then stuck into a carrier!

I grabbed a donated carrier that is triangle shaped and opens on one side, which makes it easy to take cats in and out. It is, however, not our largest carrier.

Eyelet was not happy!

So not happy, he stress pooped in the carrier during the drive out.

*sigh*

He went back and forth between trying to claw his way out of the carrier, to just lying down calmly, and back again, which meant he got messy in the process.

When I got to the address and the woman came out to greet me, I made sure to let her know! I then followed her in to Eyelet’s new home for the next few days.

What a set up! An entire little bedroom, all to himself, with several beds, including one at a window, a cat tree, toys and, of course, a litter pan and food and water. He was enough of a mess that she brought a cloth to wipe him off a bit before taking him out of the carrier.

Dude was not impressed!

He did, however, start purring as soon as she touched him! He was very open to pets in general.

I’ve since gotten an update that he has settled into his new digs very well. I’m not at all surprised. The set up is pure luxury compared to the yard cat life!

The best part is that this was all done well before I was originally scheduled to deliver Eyelet. It even stopped raining shortly after I got home.

It was an awesome rain, too. Almost 24 hours of constant rain. Nothing too heavy, either. The sort of rain we could have used so much of over the summer!

Meanwhile, my brother came out today. I didn’t even realize he was here until I left for my mother’s and saw his car. He’s been busy preparing their trailer for the winter, including driving it out to where the tanks can be emptied. When I got back from delivering Eyelet, he was able to come over and tell me what he’d been able to do for my mother’s car. There’s still more to be done, but it can wait. The priority was to deal with that tire that keeps going flat. He just used the spray stuff in it, then made sure to drive it around, and even put it up on a jack to just spin the tire, so it wouldn’t cure in a puddle inside the tire.

Tomorrow afternoon, he and I will be going to my mother’s tomorrow, and her car is one of the main things she wants to talk about. She says she wants him to get it all fixed up, and that she would pay for it, so that we have a second vehicle, and one that she can get in and out of. It might be better off to sell it, or maybe trade it in for a newer vehicle. My brother is in a better position to make recommendations on that than I am.

So we’ll see how that works out.

Weather wise, next week is looking to be warmer again, and dry. That will be when we seriously need to get the sun room cleaned out. That requires basically emptying it, so we can wash the concrete floor. The cat cage can’t fit through the door without being dismantled, so the room has to be done one half at a time. It’s going to be a big, messy job. I’m going to have to stop storing most of my tools and garden supplies in there. The cats, skunks and raccoons get into it all and make such a mess – and make messes on top of things!

With the rain, I’ve made little additional progress in cleaning up the garden, but tomorrow is the 21st, which is when I’ve been typically doing my garden tour videos. It also happens to be the first day of our new average frost date range. Instead of one day, they now have a range of days. Which isn’t how an average works, but whatever. They now say our average first frost days is between Sept 21 and 30, from the previous Sept. 10. Of course, this year, we had two frosts before Sept. 10! Well, it’ll be another 30 years before they do the math again. I’m still sticking with Sept. 10, when I work out when to do things in the garden, and what the length of our growing season is. It was 99 days before. Now it’s supposedly 125-150 days, since the last frost date has changed, too.

Yeah… I don’t think so. Not a chance, where we are.

Gosh, though… having a 125 day growing season would be amazing. 150 days would be heavenly! There’s so much more we could grow with a season that long!

Ah, well. A girl can dream but, in the end, we have to deal with what we’ve got in our local climate, not what a map of averages says.

Time for me to head outside for my evening rounds before it gets dark, and see examples of that along the way!

The Re-Farmer

Home care crazy!

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Their right hand doesn’t know what their left hand is doing!

This is what WordPress’ AI image generator thinks I look like. 😂

I was just sitting down with my supper when the phone rang. I recognized the number as the home care scheduler.

*sigh*

She was very, very apologetic, but they had cancellations and there was no one to cover my mother’s bed time med assist for tonight and tomorrow night. Other visits are covered.

Bed time only?

Yes, she confirmed.

This confused me because her supper time and bed time meds are always done by the same person. If someone cancelled, how does it work that only the bed time assist wasn’t covered, and for two nights in a row?

She explained that they had to pull for a client.

…

I asked what that meant.

It turned out that the cancellation wasn’t one of my mother’s scheduled home care aids. It was someone else. Someone that did not have anyone that could over for them (like I do for my mother). So she had to pull people away from other clients that did have people to cover for them, like my mother. She was able to find someone that could do her supper visit instead, but not her bed time visit.

…

So… I would be covering for someone so they could cover for someone else, that was covering for someone that did not have anyone to cover for them.

It took me a moment just to worth through that verbally and a while longer for her to work through what I’d just said and…

Yes. That’s exactly what was happening.

Well, at least I had time to finish my supper before I had to leave, since my mother’s suppertime med assist was covered.

First, I updated my family and my siblings, then I called my mother.

She was in a great mood when she answered, telling me she was just finishing her supper and “a very pretty boy” had just left after doing her med assist.

So I told her that he wouldn’t be coming back, because I was going to be coming in.

This confused her. Before he left, he had assured her he would be coming back. Around 8, she asked (I believe she’s scheduled for 8:50), and he said yes.

…

I told her I would call the scheduler back and find out what’s going on.

The problem?

It’s now outside office hours. It went straight to voice mail. Their message gave a bunch of information, including that no one would be listening to any messages during evenings and weekends.

Any message I left on a Friday night wouldn’t be heard until Monday.

*sigh*

Very quick update message sent, and I called my mother back. I explained that I wouldn’t be able to get through to the scheduler and confirmed again that he said he would be back.

Yes.

So I told her that, if no one came by 9pm, let me know and I would go over to do her meds. I would also leave her meds for tomorrow’s bedtime assist, just in case. If she didn’t call me, I would know that he showed up and everything was okay.

She told me she would call me, either way.

What a s**tshow.

The Re-Farmer

Morning in the garden, and good grief, what a day

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It’s the noon hour as I start this, and it’s already been a day!!! It feels like it should be evening by now.

Morning was pretty typical. I had to get my daughter to help me with getting into the sun room as kittens swirled their way through the door under my feet. My main focus is to not step on anything while holding the kibble bowl high so I can see. Once I got some food out, my daughter was able to put a food bowl of fresh kitten soup into the cat cage, was wasn’t able to take the old one out, as she was in a vortex of hungry kitties! By the time I got back from adding food to the different feeding stations in the yard, things had calmed down. My daughter and I had the chance to snag Frank’s two babies that had sticky eyes – one had both eyes stuck shut, the other just one eye – into the bathroom to wash their eyes until they could open again.

Then I could do the rest of my rounds and check on the garden bed. I’m glad we did water it last night, as the predicted storms and rain we were supposed to get yesterday fizzled out and we got no real rain at all.

The first photo above is of the blooming luffa. One by one, male flowers in different clusters are blooming. Still no female flowers. Not that it matters at this point. It’s the middle of September. Under normal circumstances, we’d have fully developed luffa gourds right now.

I had a surprise when I got to the trellis bed. The one sunflower seed head that was opening up has gotten much bigger, just overnight. This particular sunflower also has multiple seed heads, two of which just exploded open overnight! I tried to get a picture of all the seed heads that are starting to open along the stalk and did get most of them. In the third picture, you can see four along the stalk, but there’s a fifth one hidden by a leaf at the bottom that is also starting to open.

In the next picture, you can see our first aster flower bud has finally opened! The package of memorial seeds these are from had a mixture, if I remember correctly, so I expect different colours from the others I see forming buds.

In the last photo, we have our “just for today” harvest. There was a handful of beans to pick this morning, along with a single zucchini. I decided to go ahead and harvest the last of the kohlrabi. The remaining plants don’t seem to be forming their… bulbs? … at all. I also grabbed a few Swiss Chard leaves.

There was one wonky purple kohlrabi that I decided to use right away in my breakfast, along with the chard leaves and stalks and a small Turkish Orange eggplant that I’d harvested previously. Those got stir fried to go along with some leftovers.

I didn’t peel the eggplant, partly because I’d picked such a small one. I did find the peels to be a bit on the bitter side.

My older daughter had used one to include in her stir fry last night. I’d gone to bed before she was done, so when I was talking to my younger daughter this morning, I asked how it turned out.

She told me, her sister had had to throw it away.

????!!!!

They may her lips go numb! They were the only new thing in her stir fry, so they were the only thing that could have been causing it. We’ve eaten eggplant before and she’s never reacted to any of them before, but those were the more typical purple varieties. The Turkish Orange is very different. Being so different is why I got the seeds to try.

I had no such reaction. I just found the skins bitter. Very strange! It does mean that we won’t be growing this variety again, though.

As I was setting down with my own breakfast, I noticed I had a phone message.

From home care.

Thankfully, it was NOT a call for me to come in. My mother’s med assist for this morning was scheduled for 8:50, and I was getting the message at past 9:30. The message was to let me know that there had been a last minute cancellation. They did find someone else to cover the med assist, but it would be much later; perhaps 9:45.

I called my mother right away to let her know. When she answered, she mentioned she was making her breakfast at the time, but didn’t say anything about no one showing up to do her meds. I told her about the message I got and when to expect someone to come. It was almost that time, so it was a short phone call.

That done, I finished my breakfast and was starting to upload the photos for this post on Instagram when my younger daughter came over to talk about what to work on today. She decided that this would be the day to do work on the yard and garden tools. So, for the next while, she got her supplies set up on the bench under the canopy tent while I gathered the various things that needed to be worked on. Some needing repairs, as well. It’ll probably take her a couple of days to work through them all.

After she was all set up (and we paused to wash kitten eyes again!) and working on cleaning and sharpening various cutting tools, I headed back in to work on this blog post. I got a message from my daughter who remembered there were some tools in the basement that needed to be worked on. Since I hadn’t started writing yet, I headed down right away to look for them. I knew I’d put all the ones that needed work into one container, but couldn’t find the container – in fact, I couldn’t even remember what container I’d put them in (it turned out to be an old plastic lunch box. 😄) – when the phone started ringing.

I was expecting an important call, so I started heading upstairs, promptly losing my slippers as I rushed up the stairs. The answering machine picked up before I got to the phone, and I heard my mother’s voice starting to rant at the machine.

I picked up the phone while she was doing that. It turned out she had tried to call my sister, first, and there was no answer, so when she called me and it went to machine, she was really upset. Was my sister gone on holidays already? She’s supposed to be gone for two weeks… I told her, I knew nothing about this. (This is the time of year for her church’s harvest feast – one of only two “Biblical” holidays they’re allowed to celebrate – but she’s not mentioned anything about it to me.)

My mother then started telling me how badly she was feeling. She was dying. She’d used the life line and talked to the responder, who asked her what she wanted them to do. She said, they kept asking what she wanted them to do until she finally told them to just leave her alone.

…

I told her, the proper response would have been to have them call an ambulance if she were feeling that badly!

She didn’t want an ambulance. She didn’t want the hassle (I can’t blame her for that!). She would need to someone to get her bag (her prepared hospital bag), her purse, and if she’s in the hospital “they” will come in and steal her stuff.

???

I told her that if she’s really feeling that bad, have the Lifeline call an ambulance (911 seems to be too much for my mother to grasp), and the paramedics could make sure to grab her prepared bags.

No, she doesn’t want strangers. She needs us (me and my siblings). She needs someone around her all the time. She relies on us…

I told her, we can’t live with her! What did she want me to do for her?

She had no answer. She just kept on about how poorly she is doing, how hard it is to do things, and her breathing. She needs someone with her. She needs to be in a nursing home.

But she doesn’t want to go to the hospital. She relies on us… then she started trying to rag on about my brother; he doesn’t call, he doesn’t visit. They’ve actually just gone through a rather scary health emergency with my SIL while she was out of province, but they don’t want to tell my mother about it. My mother handles such information very badly and can be downright cruel. They just got back home today and my brother immediately had to go to work to take part in a couple of important meetings. His job is in internet security at an international level. This is at a level even I have a hard time grasping, it’s so above my pay grade, so to speak. Not something my mother can even begin to understand. I did tell her that he was at an important meeting right now, but added that we did arrange to come out to her place on Sunday, as she requested. I’d forgotten to mention it when I called her this morning.

That mollified her somewhat. She told me that she would “be brave” and hold out until Sunday.

*sigh*

What I told her I would do is call the home care office for her town as soon as I got off the phone with her. I’d let them know that my mother’s condition is deteriorating. All the home care coordinator can do, however, is update the files with this information and send it up the chain. It’s another department that makes the decisions on whether someone can go into a nursing home or assisted living facility. I had to remind my mother about how shocked her doctor was that they hadn’t already approved her for a nursing home.

I wish I’d thought of it at the time, but if my mother did decide to go to go to the hospital, that might be just the thing that would finally get her into a nursing home, like she wants. That’s the typical way it works; a person ends up in the hospital with a broken hip or something, and only then do they get to go to a nursing home from the hospital. My father was an exception. He was getting home care three times a day, but his care included things like helping him use the toilet, bathing and even eating. A hospital bed was set up in the living room next to the window, so he could see outside, with a commode nearby, because he could no longer take the two steps between the old and new parts of the house to get to the bathroom. It was the home care aids that said he’d reached a point where they could no longer provide the care he needed, and that got him into a nursing home right away. Six months later, he passed away.

It is so incredibly frustrating. My mother should not be living on her own. She insists that she can still cook and dress and bath and toilet herself, when I really don’t think she should be. Every time home care offers what they can for her, she turns it down.

Among my siblings, none of us are able to have her live with us and give her the care she needs. None of us have accessible enough housing, even if we did. She is struggling, but refuses to make the decisions she needs to be making. She expects everyone else to make those decisions which, in many cases, they aren’t even allowed to make on her behalf. This is not a new thing; she’s always been one to deflect responsibility to others. It’s just gotten more extreme as she gets older.

Anyhow.

After telling my mother I would call the home care coordinator as soon as I got off the phone with her, my mother kept me on the phone for another few minutes. I finally had to get almost rude to get off the phone so I could make the call!

By then, it was past noon, and she was probably on lunch. I got her voice mail and left a message about my mother’s condition deteriorating.

That done, I updated my siblings on our group chat, then went back to looking for the tools my daughter had asked for – and retrieve my slippers. The box I was looking for turned out to be on a shelf right at the bottom of the steps. I’d put it there specifically so it would be easy to find!

So I brought that out to my daughter and updated her, since all I was able to do was sent a message that I’d gotten a call from my mother and needed to make more calls.

Updating her also gave me a chance to catch my breath.

Now that I’m almost done this, I’ll soon be going into town to pick up prescription refills for my husband. I’m still half expecting a call, but if it hasn’t come in by now, it probably won’t. While in town, while I’ve got a strong data signal, I’ll have to try and set my phone up for Wi-Fi calling again. I can’t even get text messages right now. Which is a pain when I try to log into my bank account on my desktop. They don’t do it on my phone, but if I use my desktop, they always want me to input a code. Every. Time. I try to log in. The problem is, by the time the texted code gets to my phone, the log in session is expired. Sometimes, if I go outside and walk around the yard, it’ll come in faster, but I’m not always in a position to do that.

Frustrating.

Ah, well. It is what it is.

Time to get ready to head into town!

The Re-Farmer