health

Finally! Costco! This is what $777 looks like

/ Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

I did NOT want to go out today.

The temperature of -27C/-17F stayed for most of the morning. Only the wind chill fluctuated. The screen cap above was taken just before I headed outside, so it was still -35C/-31F at the time.

I did short rounds, but I also made sure to get the truck running and check it over. The one tire was still looking low, even though I’d topped it up not all that long ago. The gas station pump I used really sucked, though, so I wasn’t too surprised that it was. I fired up the compressor to top up all the tires. The truck was plugged in and started fine, but the compressor was not enjoying running in these cold temperatures!

Last night I got a call from the gentleman from my mother’s church that had been helping her out the day she went into the ER. He still had her walker. I don’t know where he got my number from, but I’m glad he did. My mother had told me his name, and my brother had tried looking it up in the church director, but couldn’t find him.

It turned out, that wasn’t his name.

My Mom couldn’t pronounce his French name, so she was using an English version!

Yesterday, I’d cleared the end of the driveway from the gate to the road, which is where it tends to drift. The main thing was to clear the old plow ridge that now had more snow drifted over it. Then I cleared in front of the garage. I kept telling myself not to push it, but I do enjoy shoveling a lot, and just kept going!

My daughters took care of all the evening stuff once I got in, because I was really stiffening up! I would have stayed home today to recover, but then we started getting weather warnings. We’re supposed to get snow all day tomorrow, and into the next day. It was either go to the city today, or I probably wouldn’t manage it for at least two days.

I did wait before heading out, as I had a package to pick up at the post office. I called the gentleman with my mother’s walker to let him know I could stop by today, then headed out.

Only to discover that the post office opened a half hour later today.

I was only 15 minutes early, but I wasn’t going to wait around.

So, off I went to get my mother’s walker. The gentleman lives in the building where the Meals on Wheels are prepared, as well as meals for residents.

Wow, did it smell good when I walked in!

I found his apartment and had a nice chat with him and his wife before heading out. There was someone with a hair net in the lobby as I was reaching the door, so I asked if she was one of the Meals on Wheels cooks. She said yes, so I made sure to tell her just how much my mother enjoyed their meals. It turned out she knew my mother, so I updated her a bit on how my mother is doing.

My next stop was my mother’s apartment. I found some mail under her door, and a notification from the public housing department, saying that there would be a fire and safety inspection coming up. I don’t think my mother will be back for that. Hopefully, she won’t be back at all, as she really wants to be in long term care, and I’d hope to at least get her into assisted living, if long term care can’t be managed.

I grabbed a few items for my mother. Her daily devotions book that she has read and re-read so many times, it’s held together with duct tape. I know she likes to have a candle while saying her prayers, and there was an LED candle in an adorable mini bird cage on her table, so I grabbed that. It took me a while, but I found her rosary, too.

Once I was sure everything was good, and her plant was watered, I headed to the town my mother is in. I did stop to get $40 of gas first, though. The price was $1.459 there and the last time I was in the other town, they were still at $1.499. I didn’t fill, though, as I planned to do that at Costco.

When I got to the hospital and my mother’s door with her walker, I found it closed completely, which is unusual. Just in case, I went to the nurse’s desk to make sure my mother hadn’t been moved to another room. She was not, so I headed back.

As I was walking down the hall, I saw a young man walking towards me that was looking very, very familiar. It was my nephew! I haven’t seen him in ages. He does live in this province, but about 2 hours away, and works nights, to it’s rather difficult to connect. We had a nice chat before we had to part ways.

When I got to my mother’s room again and knocked, there was no answer. I went in and found the bathroom door closed, so I set up the stuff I brought for her on her little table. She could hear someone was there, so I let her know it was me. When she came out, she was using the hospital walker, which is too tall for her. She was very happy to see her own walker, and immediately wanted to switch!

Then she saw what I’d brought for her and…

… started lecturing me on how she has too many things. She’s only there temporarily. She only prays the rosary when taking communion, and she’s going home in a few days.

What????

I asked about it, and she told me they were going to be sending her home on Thursday. We have a meeting with the doctor on Thursday, so she said they would probably send her home after that.

Which did not make sense to me at all.

I didn’t ask more about it, though, and we had ourselves a short visit. I explained to her that I had to go into the city next, because we’re expecting more snow tomorrow. It was a good visit, overall. My mother is looking better, but she says she doesn’t have much energy.

For someone that’s 93 years old, though, she is still a dynamo! People far younger than her have a hard time keeping up.

As I was leaving, I did stop at the nurse’s desk again and asked about her being sent home on Thursday. The receptionist looked at her files, and there was nothing about that. Just the meeting with the doctor. We have no idea why she thought otherwise, but she told me she would tell the nurse about it so she could let my mother know she will NOT be going home on Thursday.

From there, it was off to the city, which was about an hour’s drive. Once I got close to the Costco, I stopped at a mall to have lunch at the food court. I’d only had a banana for breakfast, so I was getting pretty hungry! I ended up going to an A&W for a single Mozza burger (it’s been so long since I’ve had one, I forgot I usually ask for a double), onion rings and a medium drink. That cost $17.43! I can’t remember exactly how many years it’s been (4, maybe 5, years), but the last time I ate at A&W and had the double Mozza meal, it was less under $12.

*sigh*

From there, it was off to the Costco, where I first filled the tank. Their prices were $1.379 While I’d already put in $40, which put me at 3/4 of a tank, I’d done enough driving that it cost $56.39 to fill the tank.

Even with the cheaper Costco gas, it cost me a total of $96.39 to fill my tank today!

Then it was time to grab a flat card and to the shopping.

This is what $777.06 looks like.

Some things, like the Monster energy drinks, my older daughter already sent me funds for. A few other things on their shopping list will be paid back later.

This is what I got today.

The top item is granulated garlic powder, which was at least a couple of dollars more expensive than the last time I bought it at Costco! The Goodhost Iced Tea is a better prices that most places, though still higher than it was a couple of years ago.

I got the Kirkland brand mayonnaise, as it’s cheaper than the Hellmans we used to get. The Basmati right is one of the best prices for the size of the bag. Coconut oil (an item from my daughter’s list) is also much cheaper at Costco than elsewhere.

The AA batteries were on sale, at least, though they have a pretty high eco fee on top!

The brown sugar (or, should I say, yellow sugar) is a really good price compared to elsewhere. The Irish Spring soap is a pack of 20 and will last us for months. My daughter buy their own fancier bar soap. My husband are fine with the cheap stuff, and these are the cheapest Costco has that I could see.

The salad kits are each 2 packs. Most places are almost that price for just one.

The tilapia fillets are for the girls. I’m glad I picked up meats when I found good sales earlier, because my budget wasn’t enough for more meats today.

The B100 vitamins are what my new doctor wants me on instead of just B12. The Magnesium, I take for restless legs, and I’d run out of those. I forgot to pick up more Zinc, though. I ran out of that, this morning.

For block cheese, I got mozzarella and old cheddar. I also got 2 panini packs for sandwiches. The 4 pack of Pronamel is the brand my daughters prefer. I got a big box of spaghetti, because it was the cheapest pasta. We normally get a variety pack, but not today. The 4 pack of frozen perogies have been steady in price for a while now, though they used to be under $10 for many years.

The stuff I left on the cart includes a flat of Coke Zero for my husband and I. There is also their bulk package of Ramen noodles. I picked up a 9 pack of canned beans; that price has actually gone down again! The oat milk is a 3 pack of 2L cartons for my lactose intolerant daughters. I forget how many cans are in the flat of Monster drinks, but that’s being split three ways. Then there are the puppy pads and toilet paper. Yes, I did get more cat food! Not as many dry kibble bags as I usually would have gotten; the donations are a huge help! While we do still have lots of donated canned cat food, they’re all the same flavour, so I got two variety pack cases of 48 to give them some variety. Last of all in the flat cart was 5 pounds of butter.

Next, we have a 1L carton of whipping cream, which costs more then $7 in other places. The sour cream is a 2 pack of 250ml. They don’t seem to carry the 500ml containers anymore. That and the cream cheese is a very good price compared to elsewhere.

I only got one 2pk of rye bread, a 10 pound bag of potatoes and a double flat of eggs. Normally, I would have gotten more rye bread, plus wraps, but I was pretty much at my budget limit for today, by this time.

So we have $777.06 for the Costco purchases. Add in the gas and my lunch, and my grand total for today was $890.88

Ouch.

And I didn’t even get everything on my list. Aside from not getting wraps at Costco today, other items will require trips to either a Walmart (where I have to go to correct being overcharged, last time) or an international food store.

I’m glad I got this done today, though, even though I really paid for it. On the way home, I stopped at the post office to pick up a parcel. In the hour the drive took, I discovered my entire body had stiffened up, and I was hobbling to get into the building. It got less painful once I limbered up, but it did hit me by surprise when I got out of the truck! I thought I’d been doing pretty good until then.

Once at home, my daughter and I unloaded and got things put away, just in time for a phone call I was expecting from my brother. I’d been keeping them up to date on things with my mother by message. They were on the way to see her, and I was able to give him more details over the phone. They wanted to get a visit in before the snow hit, too!

Looking at the forecast now, the show is supposed to reach us by 10pm tonight, now, and keep snowing until about midnight tomorrow. So the timing of it has sifted earlier by a few hours. Which I’m good with, since the day after tomorrow, I need to get to the hospital for that meeting with the doctor about my mother!

My brother and his wife will be driving home in the dark, but should be home well before the snow hits, and the highways were nice and clear today.

Why does all the medical stuff have to happen in the winter? It never seems to happen in the summer! 😄

In the end, it was a longer day with extra driving, but my mother has her walker, we got a visit in, and we got our Costco stock up shopping finally done.

Which makes it a very good day!

The Re-Farmer

Snow day

/ Re-Farmer / 2 Comments

I’m so glad I don’t need to go anywhere.

As I write this, we’re at -9C/16F, but the wind chill is at -25C/-13F

Around the house, we are sheltered from the wind direction for a change, so we’re not getting quite that wind chill effect in our immediate area. Which I am happy for, since we have to keep the isolation shelter closed, and there was only two cats in it.

These two.

The (Fluffy) Lady, and The Grink.

I’d given them their wet cat food this morning, and Fluffy stayed well away from me. Even when I was about go go inside the house, saw her sharing the food bowl with The Grink and paused to get my phone out to take a picture, she saw me stop and moved away.

Clearly, she has not forgiven us for her trip to the vet! There’s no way I can check her incision, but at least we can tell how she’s feeling by her behaviour, at least somewhat.

The Grink, meanwhile, seems quite happy to stay right where he is! We see them cuddling together in the cat bed pretty regularly now.

I also managed to get a picture of this dude.

At least I think he’s a dude. My daughters tell me he is, but I haven’t been able to see, myself, with all that long fur. He does not allow us near him. I had to zoom in to get this photo. He looks so much like Fluffy! She doesn’t have any white fur, other than inside her ears, so we can at least use that to tell them apart. This fluffer is one of this past summer’s kittens, so there’s almost a year between them. Fluffy is pretty small for her age, though, so there isn’t a lot of size difference between them.

The snow in our area started last night. It started coming down pretty hard at one point, but mostly it was light and constant, so there’s a few inches accumulated already. We’ve got a break in the snow right now, but it’s supposed to start up again tonight and keep snowing until about noon, with only a couple of hours break at about 7am. From what I’m hearing and seeing on the highway conditions group, the roads were getting pretty snow covered. The road between us and town was pretty bad, which is typical when the winds are blowing this way. The east-west roads are almost always the worst.

Tomorrow afternoon, we’ll have to break out Spewie and do the driveway.

Needless to say, I did NOT head to town to see my mother. I did phone to ask how she was doing. I’d called shortly after shift change, though, so the nurse had only been there for 15 minutes. She knew my mother was doing well, and was feeling better, but that’s about it.

Then she asked if I wanted to talk to her on the phone. They could bring a phone to her room and she could transfer me over.

Yes, please!

It was good to be able to talk to her directly. Not that she could tell me much; she doesn’t understand much of what they are saying or doing in regards to her treatment, but she could tell me how she felt and we could just chat for a bit. My cousin had visited her today, so she was happy about that.

Little by little, I’ve been remembering different places to call that needed to know about my mother. Home care. Meals on Wheels. Today, I remembered to call her pharmacy. They would normally have delivered her bubble packs for the month, yesterday. Now that they know she is in the hospital, they can suspend her prescriptions until either we let them know she’s home, or a doctor calls to tell them her prescriptions are cancelled with the pharmacy, which they would do if she goes into long term care or assisted living.

I think that’s the last place that needs to know about my mother! Her church would already know, since the guy that took her to her appointment is from the church and has been bringing her communion since she hasn’t been physically up to going to church lately, and the church next to the hospital knows, as the priest has already come to give her communion since she was admitted.

It will probably be a couple of days before I can go and visit her again. While the roads might be clear earlier, it’ll take us some time to get our own driveway clear. In particular, I need to get the end of the driveway done. With what’s already there, once the plows go by, we probably would get stuck trying to get through the plow ridge. It’s going to start getting cold again, though. Today and tomorrow are going to be relatively warm, and then we’re getting highs of -19C/-2F, with overnight lows of -27C/-17F

I worry about the outside cats, but they know how to take care of themselves. The cats that used to hang out in the isolation shelter now hang out in the cat house and the sun room. Usually in big cuddle puddles.

We did get a big stinky kitty visit the sun room last night. I didn’t try to chase it out, after watching it on the camera for a while. The big heated water bowl that stopped working is set to the side, near where the heat lamp is. It’s full of ice, but on less frigid days, the heat lamp is enough for it to start to melt, and the cats seem to really like the melted ice water.

So goes the skunk, apparently. On the camera, I could see it sitting on top of the ice, doing something. It looked almost as if it were chewing on the ice, where a gap forms between the ice and the wall of the bowl. When I headed out this morning, I made sure to look. I could see a deeper spot in the ice, with smooth sides. The skunk had been licking the ice enough to create a hole!

By the middle of the month, I’m hoping we’ll have a new critter cam in the sun room. I’ve just ordered a small security type camera. It can be rotated 360° remotely, while the one in there now is stationary. The cats regularly knock it out of position. The main thing, though, is that it does not require a subscription to record and save files. We can add a micro SD card to record locally. As long as it can connect to our WiFi, that should be good. The last camera I tried simply would not connect to our WiFi, and we could never figure out why. If this one works out, I might try to get a lightbulb camera again, for the basement, to monitor the septic pump.

If I had the funds, I’d be like my brother with their old place. He had cameras everywhere! The buyers actually paid extra to keep his camera system. 😄 In the summer, I expect he will start adding more cameras around the property, since he moved his farm equipment here.

I have no problem with more cameras around!

But that will wait for when things are much warmer, and the snow is all gone.

It’s only February, but I am so done with winter already!

The Re-Farmer

Well, that got weird!

/ Re-Farmer / 1 Comment

Okay: the plan for the day was to head over to my mother’s and take her for her MRI appointment.

With our New Year’s celebrations, I didn’t make it to midnight, and instead went to bed, so I did at least get some sleep – until I was awakened by a cat starting to hork right next to my head. How’s that for an alarm clock?

I intended to be on the road by 6am, so as to arrive at my mother’s place early. Sunrise, this time of year, is 8:30, so it was still full dark when I headed to the garage. I did meet my goal, though, and was on the road by 6.

I’m glad I did leave that early, because it took an extra 10 minutes to get to my mother’s. We’d had some snow last night – just enough to cover everything with a light, fluffy layer.

Which makes driving on already icy gravel roads even more slipper, so I was taking it slow.

When I got to the highway, I was playing “find the lane” for much of the trip, and doing 10-20km/h below the speed limit. It wasn’t icy for the most part – at least as far as I could tell. I just couldn’t see where the lanes were, and I often would reach a clear spot and find I was diving in the middle of the highway.

Thankfully, there was no traffic. I saw only 2 other vehicles besides me, the entire time.

When I got closer to my mother’s down, I drove into snowfall. Again, nothing major, but so reflective, even on low beams, that it got even harder to see. I was quite happy to get to my mother’s, and not looking forward to the drive to her appointment! I knew that certain sections of our route would not be good.

When I got to my mother’s apartment, her walker was gone. I knocked and the door was open, but I didn’t see her. Popping back into the hallway, I saw her down the hall. She had come out to meet me, but I happened to arrive just when she’d popped into the washroom. 😄

The walk back to her apartment was really hard on her, and she was panting like she’d been running a race by the time she came inside.

I told her that I’d want to leave right away, because of the road conditions. She started asking, what would they do if we came later? There’s something fishy about this appointment. They just want old people to die.

I asked her, do you want me to cancel? It was really last minute, but given the road conditions, combined with how much she was struggling, I wasn’t going to push her on going like I normally would. I can’t make that decision for her, though.

She hemmed and hawed so long, it was past time we should have been on the road, so cancelling it was.

Then I had to find the right number to call, because of course, there’s no number just for the hospital. The only number I could find was for the regional health center corporate office.

It took some doing, but I did eventually find a number for the diagnostic centre at the hospital and called. No one answered, of course, but I left a message about my mother and her appointment, the road conditions and that she was really struggling, so we would have to cancel. I left our numbers for them to call back, but don’t expect to hear from anyone. My mother has her regular doctor appointment on Monday, so a new request can be made then – this time, specifying an afternoon appointment!

That done, we settled in for a visit, because I was not going to head home until it was light out. We made some tea and were chatting when I heard a distinctive noise from the door behind me. Something had been slid under the door.

I went to get it and found a note that read, “Happy New Year, Old B***c”

My immediate thought was that it was our vandal again – he’s slipped many a vile note and letter under my mother’s door over the years – so I opened the door and went into the hallway, just in time to hear a door closing. My mother’s apartment is near one of the exits. I went far enough to see the doors (there is a tiny vestibule in between inner and outer doors), but by then, there was nothing to see, and I wasn’t about to leave my mother and run for the outside doors.

So I went back inside to my very curious mother and showed her the note. Then I documented it, taking a photo and sending messages to my siblings and family back home, describing what just happened (I am so glad I got into the habit of documenting everything, so many years ago. It has come in so handy), when I heard a strange noise in the hallway.

I looked through the peep hole and didn’t see anything, but when I opened the door, I found a woman walking down the hall and just reaching my mother’s door, in her housecoat and slippers. She saw me and started going on about how, my mother shouldn’t be doing this, it’s against regulations, it’s a fire hazard. It took me a moment to realize she was talking about my mother’s walker…

… which was down the hall, next to a neighbour’s door. That was the noise I’d heard.

The woman kept ranting, swearing and going on about regulations and fire hazards while I retrieved the walker, asking her what was going on (I think she was getting even more angry because she couldn’t get a rise out of me), and she told me she’d found my mother’s walker in the street. So I thanked her for bringing it in, and said my mother hadn’t done this, and that someone had just left a nasty note under my mother’s door. She basically said that she wasn’t surprised about the note because of my mother being how she is. I parked my mother’s walker where it belongs, under the little shelf by her door, and she ranted and swore at me some more, saying it didn’t belong there, while going back to her own apartment at the end of the hall.

I went back inside and was telling my mother what happened when I heard another noise at the door. I opened it and found my mother’s walker against it. The woman had come back and bashed it against the door. She demanded I take it inside and started saying more insulting things about my mother and me (I’m fat, so I must be just like my mother…) and swearing before going back into her apartment.

When I went back inside, my mother was just shaking her head. She could hear some of what her neighbour had been saying. Apparently, this behaviour is common with her.

She’d brought stuff up with public housing people before, and was told to call in and make a formal complaint. They can’t do anything if people don’t complain. So I found the number and tried calling them. I knew it would go to voice mail, since it’s New Year’s Day, but the mail boxes were full, and I couldn’t even leave a message. We will have to try again during regular office hourse.

So we talked about it some more and I documented this to my family as well.

My mother thinks the neighbour is the one who left the note, not our vandal. She says the use of the word b**** is very much her style, while she’s never heard our vandal say it. I’ve heard him use it, particularly directed at me, though not often, so she does have a point. I did hear the door closing when I went out, and I thought it was an outer door, but I suppose it’s possible I’d heard the door at the end of the hallway, which is even closer to the exit than my mother’s door.

So… that was fun.

My mother, meanwhile, was getting very tired, so she soon went to bed while I stayed a bit longer, waiting for it to get light before I left.

The drive home was much better, but I’m definitely glad we didn’t make the drive to the hospital for the MRI in the dark. I got home just in time to meet my daughter coming up to the gate to switch out the trail cam memory cards, as she started the morning rounds for me once it got light out.

So this whole day has turned out far stranger than expected. The note was bad enough, but for the neighbour to get all weird on me was really… something. The woman definitely has issues. My mother tells me there has been police involvement because of her, and her own son had shown up that time and basically told them, he was done with her. This has been going on since well before she moved into the building my mother is in.

Slight pause in writing this; I just got off the phone with my brother, and he agrees that the note must have been from this woman. The door I heard closing had to have been her own door, not the exit door I thought it was. I’m just so used to our vandal being the one doing this sort of thing, and there was no one to be seen at the time, I just made the assumption. If the neighbour hadn’t come out and started making noise and messing with my mother’s walker, I would never have had reason to think otherwise.

We really need to get my mother out of that place and into some sort of assisted living. For her own safety, as well as for her health needs!

As for me, I’m so very tired. I did get some sleep last night, but not much.

Time to see if I can squeeze in between the cats on my bed and get a nap in!

The Re-Farmer

More driving today… and tomorrow, and the day after, and then…

/ Re-Farmer / 2 Comments

You know, it’s a good thing my “job” is to take care of this place. Otherwise, I have no idea how I’d manage to get things done.

Things like unexpected shopping trips.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. First, the cuteness!

There was one heck of a crowd in the isolation shelter when I came back from doing my morning rounds! As I came closer to the shelter, some of the more feral cats ran away, leaving “only” eleven left in the upper level of the shelter. I think there might have been as many as fifteen cats, crammed into that upper level, as I was walking up to the shelter!

Once I was back inside and having my breakfast, my daughter suddenly came in with her phone. She’d been wanting to book a follow up visit with her doctor today, which was on my morning to-do list, as I wanted to book a meet and greet for myself, too. The doctor I’m seeing now is still the interim doctor. It may be convenient having the same doctor as my mother, but we’re working to get my mother into assisted living, and it would be more convenient to have the same doctor as my daughter. That and the clinic is right next to a grocery store, which is extra handy. 😄

Well, the clinic called her cell phone (I’m shocked they got through!), and she was wondering what date worked for me to drive in. So I talked to the receptionist and booked a double appointment for us. After the call, my daughter asked, who goes first? I told her, I would, and then I could go to the grocery store if we needed anything, while she had her appointment. It’s been a long time since I’ve had my bloodwork done, though, so I won’t be surprised if I get a requisition for that to be done. There is a lab in the pharmacy right at the clinic, too.

After the call and while finishing breakfast, I was wrestling with myself. There were a few things I wasn’t able to get at the grocery store yesterday. If I left early enough, I might be able to find them before they sold out. Mostly, I was looking to get a party tray of fresh vegetables, and maybe another of fruit, to go with our finger food New Year’s celebration. Plus a flat of eggs. With tomorrow being New Year’s Eve, I knew things would be busy and things would sell out fast, but none of it was necessary, and I really didn’t want to go.

Then my mother phoned.

She was worried about her MRI appointment on the first. It’s a big holiday, and everybody has the day off, so there must be some sort of mistake. I told her, hospitals don’t have the day off. Oh, for emergencies, sure, she tells me. I finally asked, are you wanting me to cancel the appointment? Oh… no… but are you sure there’s no mistake?

I assured her that, when I got the call, I did ask because the appointment was on New Year’s day. They confirmed.

Then she started talking about how, when she looks into her fridge, it’s looking pretty empty.

Did she want me to come over?

Oh, no, she tells me. Then starts listing off all the stuff she still has (even after telling me she was out of various things). Plus, it’s cold, and she also needs to go to the bank, and she doesn’t want to go out in the cold. Plus, today is Bingo day.

I told her, it’s going to start getting colder again after New Year’s. Looking at my calendar, I added, it’s either today or Thursday, and it’s supposed to be colder on Thursday.

She hemmed and hawed some more.

Finally I told her to just start her list, because I can come over today. She was getting her Meals on Wheels today, so I told her I would be there for about 1pm, after she had a chance to eat.

I ended up leaving early enough to do my own shopping first. This little grocery store doesn’t do party trays, so I ended up getting some fresh vegetables to make our own party tray, some grapes to go with our charcuterie board, plus a few other things. Then, because the price was right, I picked up a 2 pack of frying chickens for less than a single chicken normally is. The Instant Pot I got for my daughters is big enough to fit a whole chicken in it, so that would work out well.

(As I write this, I can hear the pot venting away; they’ve started a pot roast for the first meal with it!)

From there, I put some gas in the tank (we’re going through a lot more gas than usual, with all the extra driving around!), got my own lunch to eat in the truck (the truck seats are more comfortable) and still ended up at my mother’s about half an hour early.

When I got there, she was in the lobby, looking for something.

She was wondering why bingo wasn’t set up yet.

I asked how she was doing, and she was silent, making motions and acting like there was some reason not to speak out loud. Finally, she said, it’s better not to say.

So…. I guess that meant she wasn’t feeling well?

She did manage to tell me that she wasn’t up to going out and would just give me her list. Then she was going on about where bingo was one or not, then knocking on a neighbour’s door right by the common room to ask him if he knew if it was still on. He didn’t, and seemed confused that she was asking him. She told him she could just phone, instead. I told her, it’s barely past 12:30. It’s probably still too early, thinking it started at 1, but nope: turns out it starts at 1:30. Way too early to be setting up!

I managed to get her back to her place and, as soon as she sat down, she started digging around for a phone number. I eventually figured out she meant to call the senior’s center (they run the social events in her building) to find out if bingo was still on. I told her, why bother calling? Just go over at 1:30 and see. It’s either on or it isn’t, but there’s no need to call. She agreed that she could do that.

Then we went over her list, she gave me funds for her shopping, and I was soon off. The shopping is a lot faster when it’s just me using her list. When I got back and made my way through the common room, I saw that they were starting to set up for bingo! 😄

I made sure to tell her that, when I got to her place. After putting away her groceries, there was time for a bit of a visit before bingo started. As we were talking, she told me how her breathing issues seem to be connected to how much commotion is going on. After asking some questions, it seems like a stress response. The problem is, my mother is creating a lot of her own stress, like worrying about there being a mistake with her MRI appointment (this isn’t the first time she’s done that with appointments, so it’s not just about it being on New Year’s day), or that bingo was cancelled because nothing was set up an hour in advance.

Then she started talking about her vision. Oh, her vision. It’s getting worse.

Now this set off all sorts of alarm bells with me. With her wet macular degeneration, we were advised to monitor it closely and, if it starts getting worse, to get her back to the eye clinic in the city right away. So of course, I started asking more specific questions.

As she started talking about how her vision is getting worse, she casually mentioned that the “black spot” is gone…

Wait… what???? !!!!

Then she mentioned the wavy lines are gone.

????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The wavy lines were from dry macular degeneration in her left eye. She’s taking special vitamins to keep that from getting worse. For those to be gone is amazing, but not as amazing as for her to say the “black spot” in her right eye is gone!

I got her to cover her left eye, then held my hand about two feet from her face, raising two fingers. I asked her, can you see the two fingers?

Yes, she tells me.

I raise a third finger without saying anything.

Three fingers, she tells me.

I’m totally shocked that she could see any fingers at all!

I moved my had back another couple of feet and tried again.

She couldn’t tell me how many fingers, but she could see that “something” was there.

I am totally blown away. While at the clinic with her, less than a month ago, a tech did the same test with her, and she couldn’t see his fingers. When he had her try and look at a single letter on the eye chart, she saw nothing at all.

The eye doctor had told her she shouldn’t need more injections, but also that her eye would not get better. There is scar tissue that will not go away. The injections were to keep it from getting worse, but that we shouldn’t expect it to get better. Her next appointment is in February, and we are to monitor her and bring her back if it gets worse.

Now, it seems her vision around that scarred area in her eye has healed enough that she can see more.

But, she told me, her vision is getting worse. It’s getting “dimmer”. I tried to ask questions to get a better idea of what she meant, but she started getting really frustrated. She simply doesn’t have the vocabulary to tell me what she means. So we dropped that part.

She’s been wearing her old glasses, though, since she decided the eye doctor she got her prescription from gave her a bad prescription and cheated her (they treated her like gold). I suggested that tomorrow, she try wearing her new glasses, as those would have the most up to date prescription. She agreed that it was worth a try.

Hopefully, she will remember to do it in the morning.

Then there was a knock at the door. One of her neighbours had come over to let her know, bingo would be starting soon!

So we said our goodbyes, and I headed home.

By then, it was pretty much time to do my evening rounds, so I headed out and topped up the kibble and warm water for the outside cats.

I just had to get a picture of these two.

The one in the freshly emptied food bowl is Magda. She is pretty friendly and lets us pick her some and sometimes even carry her.

The one above her, with the black splotches on its nose and mouth, has been named Ink by the girls. It also has black splotches on its front paws. The girls think it looks like he’s been playing with a pot of ink, so that’s what they’ve named him.

Or her.

He’s pretty feral and won’t let us anywhere near him to find out, one way or the other!

Oh, there was one other unexpected thing today.

Not long ago, my daughter tried to log into her bank account and found it locked. I got a message from her while I was on my way home. She’d gotten through to the bank on the phone and discovered that someone tried to use her debit card number (she has no credit card) at a restaurant in the US. !!! It was stopped and her accounted locked as potential fraud, so nothing was taken from her bank account, thank God!

She would, however, need to go to a branch and get a replacement card.

As soon as I could, I called the branch in my mother’s town to confirm their hours. They are open tomorrow.

Which means that, tomorrow, I will be driving my daughter to our bank branch in my mother’s town (we won’t be able to do that much longer; I hear this branch will be closing!).

Then, the day after tomorrow – New Year’s Day – I will be taking my mother to her MRI appointment.

Then, on the 2nd, my husband and I will be going to trade his phone in before they ding him with the end-of-contract bill of almost $700. It has to be done before the 4th, and that’s the only day I’ve got left.

The next day, Friday, I’m taking the truck in to get the MAF sensor and block heater cord replaced.

Then, on the following Monday, I’m taking my mother to her regular doctor for a follow up appointment.

Then, on the Wednesday, I’m going back to the same town, but a different clinic, for the joint appointment for me and my daughter.

I’m doing as much driving in the next couple of weeks as I would normally do in a month in the summer. In the winter, I try to do as little driving as possible, but that’s just not working out!

Thank God winter has been mild and conditions pretty good, so far. Based on the 10 day forecast, though, that joint appointment is going to be on a day where the high is expected to be -24C/-13F, while the lows are supposed to be -29C/-20F.

At least we’ll be able to plug in the block heater by then! That’s being replaced on Friday, and Thursday night is when overnight lows are starting to dip below -20C/-4F again.

Weirdly, the long term forecast now says we’ll have about 10 days of that, then 10 days or so of temperatures rising to just below freezing again. This is a La Nińa winter, though, and the system should start affecting our area more over the next couple of months. For our region, that usually means colder temperatures, but it looks like we’re going to be getting temperature whiplash, instead!

Once we get past that last appointment, I hope to not have to do anything more than short trips into town – and hardly any of those! – until it’s time to go more stock up shopping at the end of January!

I just want to stay home.

The Re-Farmer

A quick change in plans

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Today, I’d hoped to stay home for a few days (I really, really didn’t want to go to the dump today!) but when my husband needed something from the pharmacy, I figured I’d do that right away, since it was supposed to be milder. The next couple of days are supposed to get much colder.

A high of -9C/16F is milder, right?

It seemed all right when I headed out to feed the outside cats.

We had a light dusting of snow, but it wasn’t bad.

The full belly kitties were content to stay in the sun room. Not all of them, but enough to make nice, warm cuddle puddles!

The isolation kittens are doing fine, too.

It was a different story, once I started heading to town!

The first thing I realized was that the driveway needed to be cleared. Best to do it while the snow is still light and fluffy, too. Much easier on little Spewie. After closing the gate behind me, I made sure to message the family about that, because I knew I would forget once I got going again.

Driving conditions really sucked!

Once on the main gravel road, visibility was low with blowing snow, made all the more interesting when I had to cross paths with oncoming trucks bringing in bales. The trucks alone are wide loads, but their trailers were loaded 3 round bales wide. To fit them, about a third of a bale sticks out on each side of the trailers, adding about 3 feet to the total width. The main gravel road is wide enough for two vehicles to pass each other well enough, with room to spare, but it’s a very different story with these trucks! They did try to go to the side as far as they could, but with how slippery things can be under the snow, it wouldn’t take much to hit some ice on the shoulder and slide right into the ditches… and these ditches are narrow, steep and deep!

Even on the highway, it wasn’t much better. I found myself doing 70-80 kph (43-50mph) in a 100 (62mph) zone – and no one was trying to pass me!

I’m glad the roads were plowed yesterday, or it would have been so much worse!

Once in town, I did my errands, with my last stop at the grocery store. My husband had called in a prescription delivery for Thursday that I was able to pick up today, instead. At the grocery store, after refilling a couple of our 18.9L/5 gallon water jugs, I ended up taking advantage of some sales and picked up a few extra things besides what was on my list, and my older daughter’s list that she send funds for, once she found out I was going into town. Poor thing is not feeling well at all, today. PCOS sucks.

The drive home was not any better than the drive out, so it was slow going. I’ve driven in far worse. I just didn’t want to be driving at all today! Ah, well.

With the water jugs on top of everything else, I drove up to the house to unload, but had some troubles backing up to the main doors. The truck had to go over the sidewalk from the house to the gate, which was shoveled, and it was just too slippery!

I was quite happy to be parking the truck back in the garage!

My younger daughter was a sweetheart and took care of clearing the driveway after everything was put away, and the outside cats got a light feeding to keep them distracted. The isolation kitties seem very content in their shelter. I was even able to pet the fluffball! He started to run away, but once I started petting his back, he stopped and let me!

I’m going to be worrying about them over the next while, though. As I was writing this, I could see the temperature on my task bar dropping. We’re down to -14C/7F right now, but the wind chill is -30C/-22F!

The isolation kittens are protected from the wind, so that shouldn’t affect the heat lamps ability to keep them warm, but we’re supposed to drop to -25C/-13F tonight, and the high tomorrow is supposed to only reach -23C/-9F, with an overnight low of -26C/-15F, before wind chill. The next day is supposed to be slightly warmer, before our highs are supposed to get back into the single digits below freezing (Celsius).

Those would be good days to stay home, but I’m expecting to pick up our 1/8 beef share on one of those days. I’m just waiting on an email to confirm the date.

I hadn’t been home for long, when I got a phone call from my mother.

Guess who had just showed up at her place?

*sigh*

Yup. Our vandal. My surprising him by being there yesterday didn’t scare him off for long.

My mother was in the common room, though, and our neighbour was with him again, so he was on his best behaviour. Apparently, he was in the nearer city for “treatment” (chemotherapy?) so they stopped by on the way home.

I’m glad my mother called me as soon as she got back into her apartment after they left. In the past, she wouldn’t tell us if he showed up, even when he was alone and his behaviour was verbally abusive.

Then she told me that the doctor that was supposed to call her at 2pm, did finally call! It was past 4pm by the time he did. Thankfully, my mother still remembered our conversation, and on telling him how things went, his recommendation was exactly what I said was most likely. He wanted to increase the dose of the medication.

Then my mother, being the way she is, asked him if she could just stop taking them. What would happen? His response was, probably nothing would change. She could stop taking them, if she wanted, but to call him again if things got worse.

*sigh*

I just had to express my frustrations with her, as carefully as I could. She keeps complaining about all sorts of health problems, but when people try to help her, she won’t do the things that she is supposed to do to make things better. When we first moved out here, she mostly complained about her knees, but refused to wear the braces my brother got for her (as recommended by her doctor at the time), for her knee that’s bent sideways. I forget it he got two or three different braces, trying to find one she was willing to wear, but she wouldn’t. Instead, she would wear sport knee pads. They kept her knees warm, therefore, in her mind, they were helping her knees more than the brace.

It’s the same thing with this new medication. I tried to explain again, it takes time to see if a specific medication would work, and at what dose. As an example, I told her how my husband it still trying to get the dose right on the new pain medication he’s on (the previous one is no longer available), and it’s been about a year. Her response was to start talking about how much she pities us for him having health problems, but I had to cut that off. I told her, this was just an example of something that is common. Everyone is different, so they have to take the time to figure out exactly what will work for each person.

Her bubble packs are due for new ones, and the doctor would be faxing the increased dosage to her pharmacy, so I told her that when she gets her new bubble packs, they should have the new dosage, and nothing would change. Just keep taking her prescriptions as always, and give it time to work.

I don’t know if I got through to her. I might have, at least for a little while.

I’m so glad she has homecare doing med assists, now. Even with the bubble packs, she was messing with her prescriptions. Which is more of a problem because she forgets what some of them are for, and gets them mixed up.

I need to remember to call the home care office and see where her application for assisted living or a nursing home is at! There’s only so much my siblings and I can do to help her. Especially when she isn’t willing to help herself at times!

So today didn’t turn out the way it was intended to, but things got done and, more importantly, my mom is okay after our vandal showing up at her place again.

I really, really wish she would just tell him to not come around anymore, but she still holds out home that things will get better.

Another reason to get her into some sort of long term care! She can move to a better living situation, and no one needs to tell him where she is. As long as she doesn’t tell him herself, of course. 🫤🙄

Ah, well. It is what it is! All we can do is deal with the cards we’ve got.

The Re-Farmer

Well now…

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… I am extra glad I had to go to my mother’s place today!

The trip itself was not particularly pleasant. We had that super warm day when everything melted, then we got snow on top of that. Yesterday, the southwestern part of our province was hit with a snow storm, but we were fortunate. I saw photos and video people shared on FB, and the one that blew me away was the sand truck – upside down in a ditch!

We got snow, but no storm. When I headed out, the roads were not plowed yet, though I could see the plow trucks were out. While our temperatures were below freezing, between the traffic and the darker surface, the highways were melting in patches, making things even more potentially dangerous. I took it slow, and was pleased to see, most of the other traffic was taking it slow, too! We’ve got good tires and a good truck, but there’s no weight in the back, so it doesn’t take much before I can feel it wanting to fishtail.

I left quite early and still had time when I got to my mother’s town. I decided to fill the gas tank and pick up some fried chicken for my mother and myself for lunch. I remembered that today is Monday, so she would have her Meals on Wheels delivery, so I asked to have the food split between two boxes, so she could have hers later in the day.

As I was paying for everything, one of the regular staff who was having her own lunch break started chatting, asking if I was having lunch with my mother today. I told her, sort of, and mentioned she would be having her Meals on Wheels, so I got hers separate for later. That’s when a customer sitting at another table (this gas station has several tables for people to sit down and have their coffee or chicken dinners) said that she would not be getting her Meals on Wheels today – all deliveries were cancelled today! With the road conditions, I’m not surprised.

So I was extra glad I’d decided to pick up food while getting gas!

I still got to my mother’s early, which was still good. I was able to get some stuff done for her before we settled down to eat. She still has her cold, and was feeling rather sorry for herself. She has developed a terrible habit, though, of making herself gasp and pant. She says it makes her stomach feel better. ??? It’s rather alarming to hear, and then she just stops and starts breathing normally.

As I was boiling water for tea, I asked her which tea she wanted and she suggested the immunity boosting teas my sister got for her, that she’s been drinking since she has a cold.

There were two different kinds, and they were both citrus based.

*sigh*

So my mother is supposed to avoid citrus, etc., but my sister keeps getting her this stuff!

At least the Cup-o-soup went over well, but I’m pretty sure those have onion in them, which is also on the avoid list.

While puttering in her kitchen, I remembered to look at her cupboard doors and saw that the printout of foods that she needed to avoid, and which were still good, for her acid reflux, was gone. There was just a bit of torn tape left where it was.

*sigh*

After we ate, we talked about her upcoming appointment and what to tell the doctor. She brought up again, how she figured she should just stop taking the pills, because they aren’t doing anything. She says there has been no change. I went through again that he’d explained: he was going to start her on a low dose first, and if that didn’t help in 3 months, he would increase the dose for another three months. Or, he might try prescribing a different medication, but that is less likely.

I asked her if she were following the other instructions he’s given her, and if she still had the information printout with all that on it.

No, she wasn’t doing the other stuff, and she didn’t know where the printouts were anymore.

*sigh*

She started complaining again about how she’s taking soooo many pills, and she’s tired of taking soooo many pills.

She’s not taking that many pills and, right now, one of them is basically a special multi-vitamin for her eye with dry macular degeneration, to keep it from getting worse.

I reminded her of just how fortunate she really is. I told her how many pills my husband takes, plus two injections, and even he isn’t taking all that much compared to some people. The thing is, the pills are doing their job, so she’s not feeling the things they are there for, so she thinks they are not needed. She’s not understanding that if she stops taking them, all these things they are protecting her from would start making her sick. I can’t imagine how terrible she would be feeling, for example, if she were NOT on the acid reflux pill, when just having a bit of citrus makes her think she’s dying (until she takes some Pepto).

Her phone appointment was at 2pm. When it was 10 after, she started saying, maybe they forgot about her. Another five minutes, and she was saying, maybe we should call them. I told her, if we were at the appointment in person, we’d just be sitting in a waiting room right now.

Still, I did find the number and tried calling the clinic. The automated system eventually got me to a message saying they were so busy, they weren’t taking any more messages, but to leave a message (???) and they would get back to the caller in 48-72 hours.

!!!!!

So I hung up, since there really wasn’t much point in leaving a message, when it was still possible they’d be calling.

My mother, however, was getting really tired by then and falling asleep in her chair. I finally told her, go ahead and lie down. I would stay close to the phone. Just give me time to go to the bathroom first, she could like down and leave the phone to me.

I had just gone into the bathroom and was closing the door when I heard a quiet knock.

Who would be knocking on my mother’s door at this time?

So I started opening the door again to answer the door for her, but it was already being opened.

There was our vandal, saying something about how my mother must be on the phone, walking right into her apartment! The bathroom door opens out and partially blocks the entryway, so when I was basically right in front of him when our vandal saw me and stopped dead in his tracks.

He quickly said he had to go. There was a container in his hand he quickly dropped on her dining table, and practically ran out the door.

Behind him, I could see a neighbour he’d brought along. I was very happy to see our neighbour. This is someone else I grew up with and consider family. He’s a very good man, and has been a sort of go-between for us, trying to get our vandal to see some sort of sense.

When he saw me, from the hallway, he looked like he was fighting back laughter.

Our vandal had left so fast, he’d left the door to close on its own behind him. I was able to grab the door and say high to our neighbour as he was leaving, but our vandal had gone down the hall so fast, I couldn’t see him anymore.

When I turned back, there was my mother, laughing.

I am so glad I was there! While my neighbour would have made sure our vandal treated my mother well, having him show up, on top of my mother being sick with a cold, would not have been pleasant for her at all.

I wasn’t really surprised to see him. I’d already called my mother to warn her he might suddenly show up, since I’ve been seeing him stalking our driveway again. I just expected him to show up earlier than today!

As for the container he left, it looked like it had pea soup in it, or something like that. My mother told me, she didn’t want it. She already had two other containers in her freezer from his, she doesn’t want. She said, with the way he talks and the things he says, it makes the food taste bad.

I totally get it.

I ended up popping it into the freezer, though, to be dealt with later.

After that little adventure, my mother was able to lie down and I settled into her armchair, in her view, with the phone.

Well, wouldn’t you know, as soon as she lay down, suddenly my mother was wide awake.

Our vandal showing up might have had a bit to do with that.

After a while, she gave up and got up.

By then, it was almost 3, and the doctor still hadn’t phoned. I didn’t want to stay much longer, as it would be getting dark soon. So I called the clinic number back and this time, left a message.

The drive back was both better and worse. Better, because the roads had been cleared by then. Worse, because I was not driving right into the wind and getting buffeted a lot more. Again, most vehicles were also taking it slow, which was much appreciated.

I got home in time for the evening feeding for the outside cats. I quickly did that, topped up their water, and played with Kohl in the isolation shelter for a bit.

Patience was not very patient just then! He was a hungry boy. 😊

Then I grabbed something to clear windows with and went to my brother’s truck to clear the windows of snow, so his solar trickle charger could get some light. I’ve since learned that another truck that’s parked here also has a trickle charger, so I’ll have to remember to clear that vehicle’s windshield, too, the next time I’m out there.

All in all, I’d say it was a good day, even though the telephone doctor’s appointment never happened. It meant I was there when our vandal showed up, and that made it worthwhile it all on its own!

The Re-Farmer

A quiet day after evening drama

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First, the fun stuff!

I did the morning routine today. We were under weather warnings yesterday for snow, but from what I could see, we didn’t get much of any, overnight. Or, if we did, it melted right away, then froze by morning, because it was SO slippery! It’s snowing now, though, so we’ll see how that works out.

Of course, the isolation babies got their extra treat of wet cat food. The cat beds we washed last night were returned, so they now have two in their shelter again. Unfortunately, they seem to be ignoring the freshly cleaned litter box and just using the floor on the bottom level. At least some of it will be easy to clean up once they are frozen. 🫤

Kohl really wanted attention! I spent quite a bit of time petting her through the sliding windows. She made no effort to get out! The closest was when she rubbed her face against my arm so far, she almost fell through the doorway.

Her partner in crime deigned to sniff my fingers a bit, but Kohl was so aggressive for pets, she got in his way. When I saw him at the food bowl, I thought I might pet him while he was eating, but as soon as Kohl saw me at that sliding door, she came right over. She was pushing her way through to get pets so aggressively, she pushed him away from the food! So I stopped, to give him a chance to eat. He, also, made no effort to leave the isolation shelter. Other cats, however, saw the open sliding doors and wanted in!

Later on, I got to enjoy another bit of adorableness. Our elderly grandma managed to get access to the new cat bed again. With the other cats, we’ve found as many as three of them squeezed into there, all at once!

There’s barely room for Grandma in there, never mind three cats!

After yesterday evening, I’m happy to say that today really has turned out to be a day of Peace, for the Second Sunday of Advent.

I got a call from my mother “late” last night. It actually was pretty early, but had been dark for so long already, I thought it was closer to midnight, not early evening!

She had clearly called for a reason, so I asked what was going on.

Very long story short…

She was dying and needed to go to the hospital.

Of course she did. It was a Saturday night. *sigh* It’s always on a Saturday, or Sunday on a long weekend.

I really don’t want to be so jaded by this, but she does it so often!

I told her, we’re under a weather watch. If she really felt she needed to go to the hospital, it would be safest to call an ambulance.

Then I had to keep asking questions to get some idea of why she felt she needed to go to the hospital.

Her cold was getting worse. She was coughing lots. There was pain in her stomach. She had a headache, which she thought was connected to her stomach.

Even the pain in her stomach took quite a while to get straight. About all I could get out of her is that she felt pain directly below her sternum. Every time I tried to get a clearer description, she’s start to tell me, then launch into something else, like did I know where her important stuff in her apartment was hidden (in case she dies or is in the hospital, and people go into her apartment to snoop).

She didn’t want an ambulance, because she wanted someone with her to watch her purse for her; she has important stuff in her purse, and she didn’t want people going through it while she was getting tests done.

She didn’t want to go to the same ER as last time, because that hospital is run by Muslims now. The last time she was there, when I went to pick her up, she told me she had a Muslim doctor (a hijabi woman), and that she had “stolen my heart”. She’d had a very positive experience with her, but has since rewritten her memory again. Now, because there was one Muslim doctor, she has decided that means the entire hospital is run by Muslims. *sigh*

Then she didn’t want to go to that ER because last time, she was in the waiting room for 15 hours (she did get called for tests in that time frame, but I had to explain triage to her again).

I ended up going online to see which hospital ERs in our region were open. The one nearest us was still open, but closing at 9pm. The other, in the hospital her doctor’s clinic is in, was open for the night. Did she really want to go to the ER? We talked about how, every time she’s gone, they would do tests, find nothing wrong, and send her home.

Oh, they found something, but they won’t tell her, because they want her to die. They take advantage of old people. They don’t care. Etc.

It was while I was looking up to see where there were any open ERs in our area, and talking about how busy they get on the weekends, that my mother even commented on how this always seems to happen on a Saturday! I wonder why? she asks. 😄

Then, because I wasn’t leaping to drive her to the ER immediately, she launched into how her children didn’t care about her, either. When that didn’t work, she shifted to, “oh, you are already dealing with so much. I’m sorry I called you. I shouldn’t have called you.” (a regular passive aggressive dig about my disabled husband)

*sigh*

After straightening that out, too, she started talking about how she needs to be in a nursing home, she can’t take care of herself anymore, she needs help.

I told her (again), you can’t just walk into a nursing home and get accepted. We are working on it. There is a process that has already been started, but it can take a while. Nursing homes are for people who are a lot further along than she is, and we would basically be waiting for someone to die for a bed to open. She forgets how my dad was before he went into the nursing home. By then, he was getting home care visits for personal care three times a day, and had declined to the point that they could not longer meet his needs. Very different from my mother getting three med assists a day, to make sure she takes her pills properly.

I was finally able to calm her down and told her that I would talk to my siblings and let them know what’s going on, suggesting she have herself some hot tea and rest. Which she agreed to do.

Once off the phone, I created a group chat to message my siblings, thinking it would be faster than email. My sister turns her phone off when she’s at home, though, and didn’t respond until well past 1am. I was finally able to reach my brother in a side chat, and he only had time to ask if Mom had been eating those mandarins my sister had picked up for her. I completely forgot about those. My mother isn’t supposed to eat anything citrus, as it triggers her acid reflux, but my sister got them for her because she felt they were mild enough *sigh* and because my mother had a cold and needed the vitamin C.

For someone who was really sick with a cold, my mother had sounded really great on the phone. Just some mild coughing, towards the end of the conversation.

So I finally went to bed and didn’t see my sister’s response until past 6am.

After doing my morning rounds and having breakfast, I figured it was a good time to try calling my mother. Her morning med assist should have come and gone by then.

I’m happy to say that my mother reported feeling much better. The “pink medicine” (the Pepto) helped so much. Her stomach was hurting much less and her cold was getting better.

Her voice was sounding hoarser this morning, though, and she was coughing more throughout our conversation, but overall, she said she was improving.

I remembered to ask her if she’d been eating the mandarins. She bounced around the answer, saying things like, not this morning, or, let me check, and, only during the day (since she insists on eating foods that will trigger her acid reflux, I’ve suggested that she at least tries to eat only a small amount, early in the day, since it’s when she lies down to sleep that it really bothers her) and so on. So I concluded that she probably did have several of them before all this started, but wasn’t about to admit it.

We talked a bit about the list of foods I gave her that could cause her problems, and which were okay. I think the printout I gave her might still be taped up on one of her cupboard doors. I brought up tomatoes, because I knew my sister had been giving her tomatoes from her garden, first fresh, then canned, over the past while. She said, no, she’d already finished those off. My mother even had given me one of my sister’s jars of tomatoes a while back, because it was just tomatoes; my sister didn’t even put salt in it. 😄 I forgot to bring up onions, though. I think she does still have some of those. So anything citrus, anything in the onion family, and tomatoes are the things she most commonly eats that are causing her problems. She is on acid reflux medication, and I’d hate to see how bad it would be for her if she wasn’t! The Pepto helps her for these short term problems, though.

At one point, when I was asking her questions about how she was feeling and what she had been doing, she brought up dry mouth again – this time, blaming the mandarins. We talked about her need to hydrate, but she just doesn’t want to drink water! As she put it, her mouth wants water, but her stomach doesn’t.

I do get that, so we talked about other ways to hydrate, including through some kinds of foods.

With her voice being so rough and her coughing, I didn’t want to keep her talking on the phone for too long. I tried to say good bye a few times, but she kept finding other things to talk about, like how she had “forced herself” to change her bedding, and mopping her bedroom floor with disinfectant while her bed was moved away from the wall, and how she was so sick, she never even got out of her nightgown, all day…

Honestly, my mother has no idea how strong she is, and how well she’s doing. She’s practically indestructible, but constantly complaining about how sick she is and increasingly talking about how she is dying.

Today, though, she was able to recognized that yesterday was a combination of things that made her feel so much worse, and now she’s glad she didn’t go to the hospital.

I really do hope they are able to get her into some sort of assisted living soon. It’s so hard to know what’s going on with her, how much is real, how much is her deciding things are worse than they are, and so on. She really does need someone around that can monitor her. Between me and my siblings, none of us are in a position to be that for her.

After I was done talking to her on the phone, I updated my siblings. My sister later reported on her own phone tall to my mother. It seems she’d picked up some cup-o-soup for my mother when she did her grocery shopping for her – something my mother would never had bought for herself – and that Mom was going to have some for lunch.

So all is improving with my mother.

Meanwhile, it has been slowly snowing throughout most of the day. We have another ongoing weather warning for “snow showers” right now, because we’re at only -3C/27F, though the wind chill puts us at -12C/10F. It’s supposed to keep snowing, heavily, at times, until about 3am. It’s also supposed to slowly keep getting colder overnight until we reach about -11C/12F by about 7am, and stay that temperature all day.

Hopefully, the roads will be cleared and no longer slippery, by the time I have to go to my mother’s, tomorrow, for her telephone doctor’s appointment.

For now, though, it does look all peaceful outside, and I’m much relieved that my mother is doing better today.

The Re-Farmer

Finally home, and waiting for word…

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Oy, what a day this turned out to be!

First up, my daughter and I left quite early for her appointment, and I’m glad we did!

The outside cats seemed quite confused that they were getting fed while it was still dark out.

While we were not supposed to get more snow in our area, today, we were expected to get high winds, and we sure had that! Since we did get some light snow yesterday and overnight, that meant a lot of blowing snow reducing visibility on top of being buffeted on the highway. I had considered stopping at the gas station at my mother’s town along the way, just to grab some sort of road snack since I hadn’t had breakfast yet, but I skipped that. The clinic we were going to has a grocery store right next to it, and I figured I could wait!

We got there maybe 20 minutes early. I headed to the grocery store while my daughter went to the clinic, only to discover the doors were locked. So we both waited in the truck while I ate my sandwich until we saw the doors open 15 minutes before her appointment. Once she got called in, things went rather quickly. She had another round of bloodwork to do after that appointment, so I went to the truck while she got that done.

Which is when the messages started coming in.

My older daughter was letting me know to call my mother back… then to call home care. She couldn’t quite make much out of the message that had been left, but was eventually able to tell me that home care was still with my mother.

So I called my mother and the health care aid answered.

The first thing she told me was that she had just managed to get through to my sister. Which is good. I’m the first person to call, since I’m the closest. Then my sister, then my brother, who still lives the furthest away. My sister had said she would be coming to see my mother.

My mother was complaining of chest pains (again), shortness of breath (again) and clamminess.

The clamminess was a new one.

The health care aid was offering to call an ambulance, but my mother was refusing.

Her chest pains were most likely the usual heartburn, and the shortness of breath has become a regular complaint. From what I can observe, the previous doctors suggestion that it is conditioning is most likely correct. My mother is 93, had busted up knees and is getting out of shape with age, but she doesn’t know how to slow down. I sometimes have a hard time keeping up with her once she gets going with her walker. Then she gets out of breath and can’t understand why.

The clamminess, though… I don’t know what to make of that.

As we were talking, my sister tried to call. I dismissed that call, finished up with the health care aid, then phoned my sister while the health care aid was going to call home care next.

In talking to my sister, I told her where we were and why. She started saying they hadn’t have breakfast yet, but if I were in the area, maybe I could check on Mom instead.

…

I told her again, why we were where we were (which is NOT “in the area”). We were going to be in this town for most of the day. My sister wasn’t happy to hear that, but said she would go to Mom’s after they had breakfast.

I don’t know how long it was going to be before she was on the road, but by the time I was done with the phone calls, the weather had gotten worse. It would not be a fun drive, though I don’t know of the worsened weather reached as far as where she lives. Her route wouldn’t take her through this town, anyhow, so it’s possible she wouldn’t see the bad weather at all. Other than the high winds. Those never died down at all today. Even now, as I write this, I can see the trees swaying out my window.

That call done, I messaged my brother to keep him in the loop. Then my daughter and I went to get an actual breakfast. Not much was open that early in the morning, so we ended up going to a Tim Hortons.

We had some time between appointments, so I took advantage of it and went to a branch of my bank with some questions I had. The postal strike is causing some issues, and I needed to clear some things up. From there, we went to a Red Apple, where my daughter was able to get some clothing necessities, and I snagged a high density foam mat to keep in the truck. If we need to climb into the truck box with the tailgate open, it’s something we can lay down to protect our knees. Or, if we have a situation like when my brother wanted to lie on the ground to look under the truck, it can be a nicely insulated, clean surface to lie on.

After taking our time there, we then went to a Home Hardware that was kitty corner from the eye clinic. While there, I picked up a new sump pump hose. Not for our sump pump, though, but for our washing machine drain. We’re still running the hose out the front door, and the current one has started to leak.

At some point, we need to use that drain auger on the pipes, but I’m not going to do it until I am sure we can seal it up again without leaking. My brother keeps telling me how easy it is, but I honestly can’t even see how to open the thing. We also don’t have the sealant needed for when it gets closed up again. It’s also in a very awkward space, plus it’s directly above the sump pump reservoir. Just getting the auger close enough to use it is going to be difficult.

I really hate the plumbing in this place. 😄😄

Anyhow.

It was shortly past noon when we finished at the hardware store, so we popped across to the eye clinic and I checked in.

Thankfully, they were not busy.

I first got called in for the eye images, then the puff test. Then the tech checked to see if the field of vision machine was ready. It was, so she was able to take me straight over for that.

The field of vision test takes about five minutes per eye. Once that was done, the data was sent for the eye doctor to look at, and she would call me in when she was done. When I sat down with my daughter in the waiting room, I checked my phone and it had just turned 1pm – a full hour before my appointment!

Then my phone rang. 😄

It was my brother, calling me in between meetings, about Mom. We spoke for a short time, but there really wasn’t anything to say. Our sister had not sent any messages to update us.

It wasn’t too much longer before the eye doctor called me in. After looking at the images and comparing them from the last two, each 6 months apart, there was very little change. She took a direct look as well, and it was decided to not do the eye dilation tests this time. We would do it next time.

I mentioned to her that we were going to try and not book appointments in the winter, due to transportation and road condition concerns. The next appointment would have been in June, but she was okay if we changed it to July or August.

So that’s what I did. For the next appointment, I’m booked in the second half of July. If she wants me to do another “6 month” test, I would book it for March or April, slowly shifting the appointments to spring and fall instead of summer and winter.

Since we didn’t need to do the eye dilation test, I got to drive us home. My daughter’s dizzy spells have improved, but not gone away completely yet, so me driving was better, anyhow.

Since we were in town, we then made a short stop at a grocery store. I won’t be able to do our Costco shop until Friday at the earliest, so there were a few fresh things that we needed to get. We also picked up some road food for the trip home.

By this time, conditions had improved considerably. It was still very windy and the truck was being buffeted, but we also had bright sunshine. There was only one area that got dicey. The windward side in that area was all open fields and so much snow was being blown across, driving into it was like driving into a fog bank! At one point, as I checked my rear view mirror, the car behind me looked like it was driving on a cloud. No sign of the road or ditches at all! Just blowing snow.

Thankfully, the further north we go, the more trees there are to block the blowing snow.

We were both very glad to be home, that’s for sure!

Once everything was brought in, it was getting late enough that I left my daughter to put most of the stuff away while I went to feed the outside cats and top up their warm water before it got dark. I wanted to make sure they all had a chance to finish the food off before night time. It’s the only way we can get the outside cats that are going to be spayed tomorrow to fast.

I need to be on the road by 7am with the cats tomorrow, giving myself extra time for bad road conditions, for the 8am drop off. We’ll still be at our overnight low of -18C/0F at that time, based on the current forecast. It’s supposed to be slightly colder tomorrow, but without the high winds, so that will make a huge difference.

After the cats get dropped off at the vet, I’ll be hanging around the area until they call me to pick them up. So I will be gone all morning, at the very least. Last time, I was able to nap in the truck, but it’ll probably be too cold to do that, this time!

Oh, I just got word from my sister. By the time she got to my mother’s, she was feeling fine. No longer clammy. There’s a cold going through her building that she might be catching, so she got my mother some vitamin D, echinacea and immunity boosting tea.

Hopefully, that will do it.

I still plan to phone my mother, right after I finish posting this!

Then we need to get some carriers ready for the cats tomorrow. We won’t have any problem getting Kohl, as she’s become nice and social. The adult females may be another story. If we can’t get them, we should at least be able to snag Magda, who is also very social, but it would be much better if we could manage to get one of the adults! I’m not even sure Magda is 2 pounds yet, but she should be close.

We shall see.

Once the carriers are prepped, it’s going to be an early bedtime for me!

Time to go phone my mother now…

The Re-Farmer

First snow – sort of – and things went well

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It seems so odd, having my daughter doing the morning rounds so I can sleep in. 😄

I still wake up at first light, just out of habit, but I at least got another hour or so of sleep in after that. I do miss seeing all the kitties first thing in the morning, though!

Today was my mother’s appointment in the city for eye treatment, and I needed to be on the road by 10:30am. Knowing that we’d be on the road at lunch time, and that it would be hours before we could eat, I made sure to have a late breakfast before heading out.

I was a bit surprised to see actual snow on the ground. I suppose this is technically our first snow.

It was still there, sort of, when I got home. We had so much rain, I wasn’t expecting to see any.

Unfortunately, that rain did cause another problem – it froze the lock on the gate! I lost a few minutes, warming it up so I could unlock it and open the gate. Thankfully, when I work out times to get places, I try to factor in extra time, just for stuff like this!

Also for stuff like stopping for gas. Usually, I would do that before picking up my mother, but I told her when to expect me and the delay had me running later than that, so I went to her place first. We left pretty much right away so I could stop for gas, then continued on.

The drive in went really well. The roads were clear (unlike other parts of the province, where highways were still closed due to icy conditions), traffic went smoothly, there was no construction or accidents or any delays. We actually got to the clinic an hour early!

Which worked out. By the time my mother was checked in and we went to the waiting room, it wasn’t long at all before she was called in for the first part of her appointment, at least 40 minutes early!

The first thing was to check her eye with the eye chart – she couldn’t see even a single letter with her right eye, just dark – then dilate the eye so they could get pictures. After a few minutes to dilate, she was taken to another room for the scan.

Thankfully, they didn’t have to try and get video this time, because it was hard enough just to get a clear still shot. The poor guy kept trying to find a way to get her to focus in one spot and stop moving her eye, but she kept trying to look for something to focus on. How do you focus on something you can’t see? Her eye was darting all over the place. Then she started cranking her head to one side, trying to find something she could see, which put her eye outside the machine’s frame. We both tried to find a way to tell her to just try and look straight ahead to where the thought the green X she couldn’t see was supposed to be, and not move.

He did eventually get the shots he needed, though, and then it was off to a different waiting room. After a while, the doctor swung by and told my mother she could go into the next room, but in the time it took use to get her up and moving with her walker, he was gone. We didn’t know which room she was supposed to go into. So she sat on her walker while we looked around to see if he’d come by again which, unfortunately, put my mother in the way in an intersection of hallways.

We were next to a room with an open door that had the computer monitors up and running, though, and the eye images looked familiar. So I went in and looked around on the screens for a name. Sure enough, it was my mother’s file, so that was the room she was supposed to go into.

I told her this, but she wouldn’t move, because the doctor wasn’t there to tell her to go into there.

We waited a few more minutes until a door in the next room opened. The doctor was there with another patient. He was surprised to see us, so I quickly told him, we didn’t see which room he’d indicated and, while I saw her name on the screen in the one room, my mother was refusing to go in. So he came out and assured her that it was the right space before returning to his patient. He was very apologetic when he came back later. He said he had indicated which room and I told him, we simply missed it. I did actually see his arm wave, but couldn’t tell where he was waving us to.

At this point, he went over the images from the past two visits, plus the new ones, for comparison. He asked how my mother felt and she said, she saw no change. Which is actually a good thing, since it means things are not getting worse. The scans show improvement, but she’s not seeing a change because of the scar tissue. There is nothing that can be done about that.

He gave her the option of not getting the treatment at all today. There is still some blood in her eye, but very little. All they can do is keep it from getting worse. At this stage, if she skipped the treatment, he couldn’t say, one way or the other, if the bleeding would come back or not. She would have to come back for monitoring, but not for a couple of months. At the same time, he didn’t want to put her through the treatment, she didn’t want it.

My mother’s response was, we’re here, so we may as well do it!

Once that was decided, he then took care of the freezing and antibiotic drops, then the freezing injection, which needs 7 minutes before the final injections. While we were waiting, we kept talking, and the doctor was trying to explain again that all he could do right now was try to keep things from getting worse.

Then my mother asked if getting new glasses would help.

*sigh*

There’s two problems with her question. One is, she isn’t understanding that the problem is scar tissue. No prescription lens is going to make a difference for her right eye. Her left eye, maybe, but that’s it. I told her, if she wanted to, she could wear her new glasses, which would make a difference for her left eye, but no glasses will help with her right eye, which the doctor confirmed.

Which leads to the other problem with her question. She’s been refusing to wear her new glasses because they didn’t make her headaches go away. Her macular degeneration had not started when she had her eyes tested and got her new glasses, but it must have started very soon after. My mother simply decided that the problems with her vision were being caused by the new glasses, which she decided was because the eye doctor gave her the wrong prescription – and she’d already re-written her memory about how they treated her when I brought her to pick up the new glasses. She had also been angry about how much the glasses cost, thinking they should still cost as much as glasses did decades ago. Add in that the eye doctor was female, which my mother views as even worse that her being Asian, and my mother was quite ready to blame the eye doctor, even though it’s entirely possible my mother had messed up her own prescription. I was in the room while she was being tested, and I could see that it’s possible she started giving answers because she was tired and not able to actually tell one setting from another, or not giving herself the time to see. The doctor that referred her to this clinic, however, was a male, so in her mind, he would get it right, because males are better at such things than females. 🫤 The specialist treating her is Asian, but he’s male, so that sort of makes up for it, in her mind. 🫤

After the seven minutes where up, the doctor moved on to the next steps. Unfortunately, the doctor was having the same problem the tech was. My mother couldn’t stop moving her eye. Or moving in general. When asked to open her eyes wide, she would raise her eyebrows, but that did nothing to open her eyes any wider. At one point, she moved her eye during an injection, resulting in a scratch. That got the disinfectant drops right away. Then with another injection, he had it all ready and was about to do it when he stopped and left the room. He’d spotted that my mother had managed to breathe, possibly spit on, the freshly exposed needle just before he moved it to her eye. He wasn’t going to take any chances, and got a new needle.

This was the first time the treatment hurt for my mother, and that would be because of the movement during an injection. Every time she blinked her eye after that, she felt pain, even with the freezing.

Besides that, everything went smoothly and quickly. The doctor said for her to come back in 2 or 3 months, but there would be no injection. They would just need to check her eye.

After asking my mother about it, we went with an appointment in three months. Of course, if there is any pain that might suggest a possible infection, she is to come back right away, or if the clinic is closed, to go to a specific ER in the city that can deal with eye issues.

Overall, the whole thing went well and smoothly. My mother didn’t try to get out of the appointment. She seemed to be in good spirits and feeling stronger than I’ve seen her in a while. No sudden changes in behaviour or strange rants. Even while driving, there was only one time when she suddenly screamed because she didn’t like how close she thought I was getting to another vehicle, as I was maneuvering into the disabled parking spot. I had plenty of space, but her exclamation was enough to potentially cause an accident, all on its own. Thankfully, it was in a parking lot, not in the middle of traffic. I had to remind her of my number one rule in the vehicle: no distracting the driver!

Not only did she seem in good spirits and was having one of her good days in behaviour, she actually expressed gratitude and complimented me, without any passive aggressive criticisms at the same time. Which is actually quite out of character for her, most of the time.

I’ll take the good when it happens, and be thankful for it!

After the appointment, it was straight back to her town with only a stop at the gas station to pick up fried chicken and wedges for a very, very late lunch. Plus milk, the only thing she was out of at home! With Meals on Wheels coming by three times a week, her groceries are lasting a lot longer.

While we were having our very late lunch, it was still too early for her to take her supper time medications. She’d gotten a call this morning from the home care scheduler, saying they didn’t have anyone who could come by this morning. They are supposed to come in between 7 and 9 am – and my mom got the call at 9! She’d already gotten up and had them with her breakfast, at 6am. When she had her medication assist before bed last night, she mentioned that she was going into the city today and wasn’t sure if she’d be back in time for the supper medication assist, which the scheduler did have in her notes. In the end, my mother told them not to come in for both remaining visits today. She knew she would be tired, and the timing of their visits have sometimes been disruptive for her. After telling me this, I made sure to get her supper medications ready in the miniature tagine pinch pot I brought for her for her medications. She can see how many pills are in there, and it has an adorable little cover.

As we were talking, however, she noticed something on her table and picked it up – and it turned out to be a half pill from her morning medications! She hadn’t used the little pinch pot first, after taking them out of the blister pack, and put them straight into her mouth. She had dropped one without noticing!

Oops.

At least she did find it again.

I didn’t stay too much longer after that, as I was feeling pretty tired, too. I also left early enough to stop at the post office on the way home. Canada Post is on strike right now, but that doesn’t stop the junk mail from being delivered. 🫤🫤 There did turn out to be a Purolator package waiting for us, though.

When I got home, I had a whole crowd of yard cats waiting for me! It was time for their evening feeding, so I took care of that, while one of my daughters took care of the inside cat feeding.

I tried to do a head count, and I might have counted 36, but they were moving around so much, I may have counted some, twice.

I also found a collar on the sun room floor. Nosy keeps managing to get his off. This time, I spotted a cat I thought might be Collin. After checking his ear for a tattoo, I put the collar on him, instead. He’s the one fixed cat that is the hardest to tell apart from the other white and greys! Nosy and Stinky at least have distinctive markings.

The Cat Lady had ordered some kibble for us from Amazon, but it got delivered to her place instead, for some reason. We missed being able to meet up during my trip to pick up kibble after my daughter’s doctor visit yesterday, so I messaged her about possibly meeting tomorrow. She’ll see what her schedule is like and message me back in the morning.

All in all, everything went really well today. We’ll just need to monitor my mother in regards to how her eye is feeling.

I like it when things are nice and smooth and boring. I’m at a stage in my life where the less excitement there is, the better! 😄😄

I’m also really appreciating our lack of snow right now. I’ve got a lot of driving around to do in the last week of November and the first week of December, between medical appointments and stock up shopping trips. I don’t mind the colder temperatures we’re going to be getting. I just want the roads to stay clear! Looking at the long range forecasts, into December, it’s almost looking as if we’ll be getting a green Christmas! When we lived in the city, we had quite a few of those, even though we lived further north than we do now. Granted, we also would get snow in June or July, so it’s a trade off I’m okay with! 😄 Still, this old body could do without snow for the rest of my life, if I could manage it! 😄

Ah, well. It is what it is! I’m just going to be thankful for what we have now. 😊😊

The Re-Farmer

Everything is all right

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Well, I’m happy to say that my daughter’s visit to the doctor today went well, and it’s nothing serious. The dizziness was caused by her inner ear.

She also had high blood pressure, though once I heard her numbers, I think it is likely to be “white coat syndrome”. She got a prescription, but we won’t be able to fill it for a while. Once we got home, my husband called the pharmacy to ask how much it was, as our daughters are not covered by his insurance. They couldn’t say, exactly, because it’s currently unavailable, and they don’t know when it will be available again. Still, the approximate cost they were able to give us is well within our prescription budget.

Since we were a walk in, my daughter was seen in between appointments, so we ended up waiting about 2 1/2 hours, give or take a few minutes. We did get to see a new doctor we’d heard excellent reviews for, who also happens to be open for new patients. I’d had it suggested that we switch my mother to this new doctor, since she doesn’t like her current one, because she’s black, female and has a strong accent. I’ve advised against switching doctors because she’s in the middle of trying to get into long term care or assisted living, and changing doctors would set things back.

It turns out, my mother wouldn’t like this doctor, anyhow. She’s black, female and has a strong accent. It just happens to be a British accent instead of a Nigerian one. 😄😄

My daughter, however, really likes her. She listened to what my daughter had to say, didn’t jump to conclusions or make assumptions, and actually took her seriously. After examining her to try and find a cause of the dizziness, which involved sitting my daughter on the edge of the examination table, then flinging her down onto her side abruptly, it was determined that it’s an inner ear problem. My daughter was written up for blood work, and there’s a lab just down the hall from the clinic, so that got done as soon as we booked a follow up appointment in two weeks. This will be to both get the test results and for an official “meet and greet”, so that this doctor will officially be my daughter’s doctor.

In two weeks, I’ve got an appointment for another field of vision test. The eye clinic is just a few blocks away from the medical clinic, and my appointment is in the afternoon. My daughter has to come along to drive me home, since my eyes will be dilated – hopefully, her dizziness will not be an issue by then! So we booked for the same morning.

Unfortunately, the only morning appointment they had was at 8:45. Which means we need to be on the road by at least 7:30, if not earlier. It’ll be a long day, but I don’t mind. My daughter and I can hang out together and have a lunch date in between appointments.

The town we had to go to is most of the way to the small city with the Walmart we go to, in between the big city shopping trips. My daughter felt well enough to go there, instead of figuring out where to find cheap kibble in the town we were in. As we were driving, she read from the printouts she got, which was much funnier than they probably intended.

The short version:

What is the cause? It could be this, it could be that, or it could be nothing at all. We don’t know.

What is the treatment? do this exercise that involves sitting on the side of the bed, then flinging yourself bodily down onto your side abruptly, several times. Repeat the process three times a day.

Why does this treatment work? we have no idea. It just does.

We found that incredibly funny. Especially the “exercise” instructions.

When we got to the Walmart, my daughter stayed in the truck while I did the shopping, as she got more dizzy spells along the way. We didn’t need much, so it wasn’t long before we were on our way home again.

During the drive home, though, we got a message from my husband. He found broken glass on the floor in my office/bedroom, where there is food for the cats. It turned out that the cats had knocked over a glass jar I had on my window sill, filled with pretty beach rocks. Thankfully, the glass broke but didn’t shatter into a million pieces, like some types of glass does. Still, the cat food in the tray had to be thrown out, and I’m probably going to be finding beach rocks on my floor for days!

Meanwhile, tomorrow, I am off again to take my mother for her eye treatment. I called and left a message for her, and she just called back. She didn’t try to get out of it at all, which was good.

What was not good was finding out she had visitors. Our vandal and his wife. Apparently, he’s still getting chemo or something. He behaves when his wife is with him, but after hearing the message he left at my brother’s cell number, she seems to finally understand that when there are other people around, it’s the “nice” him, but those phone calls are the real him.

She still can’t bring herself to tell him to not come around anymore. She told me she tried to recommend he was a religious program she enjoys every morning, and talk to him about turning to God. Apparently, he has some pretty nasty things to say about the show she watches, even with his wife there, so she was not happy.

I do hope the process for getting my mother into long term care or assisted living happens soon. The faster she can move out of where she is, the sooner we can make sure he can’t show up at her place anymore. Hopefully, we can even keep him from finding out where she ended up living but, if nothing else, we’d be able to tell the staff that he’s not allowed to see her for security reasons.

I so wish we didn’t have to do this. We used to be so close. The person he used to be, however, is gone.

Mental illness can be very cruel. Especially if it’s a type where a person can hide it and be “normal”, even from their own spouses.

It is what it is, though. We can only work with the hand we’re dealt with.

As for tomorrow, my mother and I have worked out our schedule, and what time we have to be on the road for. The high for tomorrow is supposed to be below freezing, but no rain or snow, so the roads should be clear.

It’s going to be a long day away from home, though.

I’ll have to remind my family to keep checking my office/bedroom to make sure the cats aren’t destroying it while I’m gone!

🫤🫤

The Re-Farmer