So frustrated! An update

January 30, 2026January 30, 2026 / Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

Okay, first things first.

Before heading to the garage, I backed the truck up to check the oil levels. They were fine, but there was fresh oil drops in the dirt floor under where it was parked for the night. During the drive in, it was the same as yesterday. The pressure gauge started off in the normal range, then slowly dropped during the drive in.

I dropped the truck off at the garage, then walked over to the hospital to visit with my mother. She was doing better today, thankfully. She was able to move around without the screaming and yelling in pain.

The irony of this is that she complained about the noise the other patients and staff were making. Hospitals should be quiet, because sick people need quiet.

I talked to her about making sure to accept painkillers regularly, BEFORE the pain gets bad. She can ask for more and, if it’s an issue, they might schedule her for painkillers more often or something.

I think she would prefer to yell and scream, to be honest. I don’t want to make light of her pain. Lord knows, I can empathize with it a great deal. It’s more about her behaviour over it, and refusal to actually do what she should be doing for it, while expecting some doctor (not a black one) to fix what can’t be fixed.

I got there just as her lunch tray was about to be delivered. My mother was in her favourite corner chair, with the bedside table already in front of her, ready and waiting. As the woman dropped off the tray, she asked conversationally, your daughter is visiting? My mother, however, was just staring up at her, and didn’t seem to hear. I acknowledged that I was her daughter, but said I didn’t think my mother heard her. She went on to put a tea bag in the hot water for my mother, then asked if she needed help with the sugar packet. My mother was still just staring at her. Glaring, really.

The woman looked to be Vietnamese, which would be why my mother was staring and not answering.

I told her I would help if my mother needed it, and made sure to thank her as she left.

Once she was gone, my mother started behaving normally.

*sigh*

The lunch looked delicious. She had a slice of mushroom and pepperoni pizza, Caesar salad, vegetable soup with a packet of crackers and a bowl of canned fruit salad for desert, along with her tea. My mom said it was the first time she got pizza. It smelled awesome, and my mother polished it all off. The quality of the food is one thing my mother does not quite complain about, though she did say something about how they never give her bread (pizza crust doesn’t count). To my mother, bread should be part of every meal! 😁 She is happy with the food, though.

We had a pretty good talk. No really weird stuff. I got some messages from my sister, who was still at my mother’s place, it turned out. Then I got a message from my brother saying that my sister should keep the keys she has and lock up the apartment, rather than leaving them there, so I passed that message on.

That turned out to be a really good thing.

One of the things I’d left in case my sister wanted them was a set of dishes she had bought for my mother, but she said I could take them, as she won’t use them. We have so many dishes of our own, but they can join the other items we now have stored in a shelf in the root cellar, until we can figure out what to do with them.

I told my mother I planned to go to her apartment after I got the truck back, and she asked, to finish taking everything? I just had to laugh. I told her, you have no idea how much you have! I certainly can’t move her furniture by myself.

Some of the conversation was typically odd with my mother. She was wondering why I was back to visit, two days in a row, and I explained about the truck, and how our mechanic was going to get it done in between other appointments. Somehow, that got around to her talking about how garages take advantage of women (because, apparently, only women take their vehicles to a garage, and men all fix their vehicles themselves. She truly believes men are born knowing how to fix cares. She literally has said that to me!), and how it’s all moneymoneymoney.

I told her, people do need to be paid for their work! She seems to think everyone should be doing things for free – except her, of course. She wants to be paid back $10 for the extra keys she had copied, before turning them over to public housing when her rental agreement is done.

When I told her I wasn’t going to be charged for the work being done today, because it’s under warranty, she changed the subject.

I refilled the thermos travel cup I’d brought for her, and she said she was very happy to have that hot water. She isn’t even doing her half water, half milk thing. She just prefers to drink warm water, and adds it to the water from the pitcher they leave with her. As I was setting up the cup, plus a few other things for her, like refilling her crackers bowl, she started saying how I couldn’t understand the troubles she’s having, with her mobility. When I’m 90, I’ll understand!

I told her, I do understand. I have many of the same problems. She said this as I was reaching to set her bowl of crackers back on the window sill within her reach, and could barely do it because my elbow was giving out. I ended up telling her about falling and hurting myself, twice, last year, and how I still can’t put weight on my right knee, because that’s the one that landed on concrete. She asked what happened, and I told her about coming in from shoveling and my glasses frosting over while I hung the snow shovel up in the sun room, so I couldn’t see and tripped over something.

Her immediate response?

Why was I the one shoveling snow?

…

So… It’s my fault I got hurt, because the girls should have been shoveling snow, not me.

Got it.

I told her, I LIKE shoveling snow, but the girls do it, too, if I can’t. I just happened to be the one doing it that day.

The other odd thing was something I later called the nursing station back to warn them about.

My mother needed to go to the washroom, and was able to get herself there on her own, using the walker – I offered to help her with the hospital’s wheelchair, and she said no. Then she asked me to get a second garbage can set up with a bag. I was setting it under the bathroom sink, when I found out what she wanted to for.

To pee in.

There’s a commode, but it’s being stored in the washroom right now. She said, they want her to get up and walk around to use the toilet (I explained about the necessity of movement to help with her OA, which got a glare), but she didn’t want to use the commode. It had been beside her bed, but she claimed they forget about it and didn’t change it after it gets used. So instead, if she needs to go during the night, she planned to use the garbage can.

Well… at least it isn’t an ice cream pail, like she had been doing at home, until we got a commode for her!

I told her, don’t do that! Her response was, do you want me to pee on the floor?

*sigh*

Even with the odd stuff, it was a good and fairly quiet visit. When someone came for her food tray – a white person, so my mother was willing to talk to her – my mother started complaining about the noise. The nurse was good at deflecting!

My mother was soon ready to lie down for a nap – rejecting my offer to help her get into bed – and I headed out. After the wonderful smells of my mother’s lunch, I was really hungry! My husband had messaged me that he needed more needles at the pharmacy, so I headed in that direction and ended up stopping at the Dairy Queen for lunch this time. I had a store to stop in as well, but that was directly across the street from the pharmacy, which was handy. Once done at the pharmacy, I headed back to the garage, figuring they might be done by then.

When I got to the parking lot, I saw the truck in the lot, with the engine running. They had just finished it, and was running it to check on things. Outdoors, rather than the closed garage!

When the mechanic was free, he told me it was looking good. The leak was fixed with the highest quality seal available – he still doesn’t understand why it started leaking again. I got instructions to keep an eye on the gauge, check for fresh leaks under the truck, and check the oil levels. The oil level right now is fine, and everything seems to be running smoothly.

When I got in the truck, though, the needle on the gauge was even lower than before.

It obviously wasn’t something he felt was a concern, but I don’t like it!

My next stop was my mother’s apartment, but I needed to get gas, first. So I drove to a gas station that was on my usual route towards home. I figured, if I shut the engine off for a while, the gauge might reset itself.

It didn’t.

On the plus side, it wasn’t dropping, either. It was really steady. The only time the needle almost reached that first line above zero was when I decided to test things and gunned it to 110kph. As soon as I returned to the speed limit, down it dropped to the same level and stayed there.

With the route I was taking, I could drive to the highway closer to us, then decide if I’d be turning towards my mother’s apartment, or heading home.

Thanks to knowing my mother’s apartment would be safely locked up, I headed home.

As soon as I was stopped, I got the picture to send to our mechanic. I then went into the garage to brush aside the oil stains in the dirt floor, so we could tell if there were any new drips, before parking. Once inside, I sent the picture to our mechanic, describing what I was seeing (and what was different), though I don’t expect to hear from him necessarily today. He was so swamped, even with two other mechanics in today.

I also updated my siblings.

Now, I’ve driven with that oil gauge at zero for quite some time. When we were having MAF issues, the oil sensor also got replaced. So this is still a new sensor. It shouldn’t be misreading. Yet, he could find no other problem that might cause the sensor to be reading low oil pressure. For all I know, the sensor is reading “normal”, but the needle is simply stuck at the wrong spot.

My brother will be out here tomorrow to dig out his own truck, so I will follow them with my truck to my mother’s place, and help bring things here. The truck should be fine. My brain knows that – but I am so bloody paranoid about it, I don’t want to make the drive on my own in case something happens along the way. We depend on it so much!

This is where I remember my mother was promising to buy us a car back in the summer, but apparently my sister talked her out of it. Granted, my mother thought she had enough money to buy a new car, with zero understanding of how expensive new cars are right now. With my mother’s habit of promising things, then backing out at the last minute, none of us expected her to actually do it. Still, it does… frustrate.

Hopefully, all will work out with the truck tomorrow. I’ll be a lot more comfortable driving it with my brother nearby.

The thing is, with all this stuff going on, we still need to go our stock up shopping trips to the city, a trip to the dump, a trip to the feed store, etc. Thankfully, we have enough kibble to last another week, for both indoor and outdoor cats, but we’re almost out of wet cat food for the indoor cats. Even without having to get my mother’s apartment emptied, this is the time of the month when we do most of our driving.

This truck is certainly not the first vehicle we’ve own that’s been like this, but for having it for only 2 years, there has been a lot!

I am so tired of weird vehicle issues.

The Re-Farmer

So glad I got it checked! A double update

January 29, 2026 / Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

Today was my day to bring the truck in to the garage to see what was going on with my oil pressure. I was sure there was a new leak somewhere.

I’m so glad I did.

While unplugging the block heater, I made sure to look under the truck, but could see no soil of oil leaking. That doesn’t mean much, though. When we had major issues before that turned out to be a leaking oil line seal, we never saw any sign of a leak under the truck. I got that fixed and our pre-winter oil change at the same time, so this was just a few months ago. It had been fine since then.

While driving back from my mother’s apartment a couple of days ago, I noted the check engine light had turned off. This morning, it turned back on again, less than a mile from home. The code for that is not something essential, and related to the cold. The more relevant thing was that, in the 20 or so minutes it takes to drive to town, I was watching that oil pressure gauge slowly dropping.

I dropped the truck off a bit early. The owner was there on his own today, and the bays were all full, so I figured it might be a while. I updated him on what I was seeing on the way here, then dropped off the keys.

I’ve been messaging with my sister regarding my mother. Yesterday, after visiting at the hospital, she was able to go to the apartment and take the things she was supposed to grab for her place. We were trying to figure out how to get my mother’s keys back, though. While we were chatting, she mentioned my mother was out of crackers. Since it was warm enough (-21C/-6F), and the grocery store was along the way, I picked a box up for her, then walked to the hospital to visit.

My mother was happy to see me, for the most part. Glad that I brought her crackers. She was in bed and, when I asked how she was doing, she said she was in a lot of pain. Then started saying, since my brother and I are so smart, maybe we could find her a good doctor that knows what to do about it.

*sigh*

I had to explain to her, she has osteoarthritis. There really isn’t anything that can be done, other than taking pain killers. Apparently, a nurse told her that her mother gets injections every three months for her hip pain. I said yes, that works for some people, but that requires a referral to a specialist (like the sports injury clinic I was referred to) in the city, because nowhere else does those injections. That would then require getting her transported for the appointment in the city. I explained about my own OA, and my husband’s back injury and his pain levels. He’s on the strongest painkillers available, and highest doses, and his pain levels are barely affected. In her case, all she can really do is take those painkillers, because there’s no fix to her condition.

Not long after, a nurse came by to check on my mother, asking if she needed help with pain. She told him no, she was okay. I asked if she was sure, since she was just telling me about how much pain she was in, and she said yes. After he was gone (she made sure to wait until her door was closed), she told me she’d just taken 12 pills that morning, and she didn’t want to take more. Her painkillers were scheduled for 2:00, so she would wait.

It was 10:20. I asked again, was she sure? It would be almost 4 hours of a wait. She insisted. She wanted to give all those other pills time to work.

She gets her meds at 9am.

Okay. If she didn’t want to take them, we can’t force her.

The rest of the visit was a mix of good and strange and, is it time for me to leave now? I was able to distract her away from her usual rants, for the most part, at least. She asked about what was being done with her apartment (and why doesn’t my brother phone her? never mind they visited, not that long ago), and I filled her in. Then she started giving instructions on what to do for things, even though she had no idea about the process, like how to get the commode returned. She also insisted that we not give public housing the extra keys she had cut for my brother and I, unless they are willing to pay her “back” her $10. I pointed out that we would have no use for keys for an apartment she doesn’t live in. Oh, we can label them and hang them somewhere. Why? Well, maybe if someone moves into her apartment. How would we even know about that? She had no answer, but she really didn’t want us to turn over those keys unless she got paid back for them.

She also went on a rant about how the hospital staff just doesn’t care. The doctor never comes to see her (she is officially no longer a patient, but a long term care resident, now that she’s been approved for a personal care home), etc. Also, people are in the hallways, talking and laughing, and they shouldn’t be doing that.

*sigh*

After visiting for quite a while, as I was getting ready to leave, about to put my coat on, she finally mentioned she got another visit from our vandal. So I went back and sat down, asking her questions about how that went. She said he was behaving, at least, but when I asked when he visited, she couldn’t remember. I asked if it was the same day as my sister’s visit (yesterday) and she looked confused and said she couldn’t remember. So I don’t know if this was actually a new visit, or if she was referring to the same visit from our vandal she told me about, the last time I visited her. At least now the hospital has a picture of him on file, so they can recognize him as someone to watch out for. They can’t stop him from visiting, but they can make sure he doesn’t have a chance to start verbally abusing her again.

By this time in the visit, my mother had moved from lying in bed to sitting at the side of her bed. She then wanted to get up and move to her favourite chair. As soon as she started trying to stand up, though, she started yelling and screaming in pain! I tried to help her and she was able to stand up to the walker the hospital provided. She said she needed to go to the washroom, but only managed to transfer herself to the chair I’d just vacated. I kept asking her if she wanted me to get a nurse to help, but she wouldn’t answer. Finally, once she was seated, but couldn’t stand up again, I told her I was getting help.

I found the nurse that had come by earlier, just finishing up with a patient in another room nearby, so I asked him for help, telling him about my mother’s pain and that she was wanting to get to the bathroom. I added that, while my mother had just refused painkillers not long ago, she will probably need some, and he agreed. He started following me, as I rushed ahead to let my mother know help was coming.

As I got to her, she started telling me, she thinks the hospital is giving her medications to cause this pain.

Which is when the nurse came in behind me. He started bringing the wheelchair over so he could help her get to the washroom, when she started taking to him that she thinks they are giving her the wrong medications, and that’s why she is in so much pain. From the resigned body language, I get the impression he’s had issues with my mother. Being both a male nurse (to my mother, nurses should be female, doctors should be male) and Asian, it’s likely she has been less than kind to him! He told her, they can’t give her the wrong medications because, if they did, they would lose their license.

I don’t know if she really heard that, though I know it would have made no difference if she did, but she went back to screaming and yelling in pain, trying to transfer to the wheelchair. They’re going to have to get the chair she was in, cleaned. 😢

He wheeled her to the washroom, so I got myself out of the way, grabbing my things and heading out- making sure to thank the nurse for helping my mother as I left! She was already making things hard for him.

*sigh*

Before I left, I took the time to update my family about how things went, then headed out. It was getting close to lunch time by then, and there’s a Chinese restaurant in the motel next to the garage, so I headed for there. I took a quick look at the garage parking lot and couldn’t see the truck anywhere, so it was at least in the garage by then.

After I had my lunch and headed back to the garage, I still couldn’t see the truck, so I was surprised when I didn’t see it in the garage, either.

The owner was on the phone in the office when I got there, so he was soon able to update me.

He found the leak, in exactly the same place as before – except worse! He was really surprised by how much oil had leaked. It even leaked onto the floor of the vehicle bay, which it didn’t do the last time it was worked on.

We talked about it for a bit, and he has no idea why this new seal is leaking. Perhaps a defective part? He ordered me a new one, this time going with a higher end brand, just in case.

It will be covered by warranty, too, so that helps!

When he mentioned that it was leaking enough to drip onto his floor, I told him, I saw no signs of leaked oil under our truck. Which means it got worse, just during the drive in, today! I asked him if it was possible that it got damaged when I tried to start it while it was frozen (thinking of those noises I heard when I did). He was very doubtful. Still, we had had no signs of a problem until after that deep freeze. Granted, with having to pull the truck all the way into the garage so we could close the door, I couldn’t access the front to open the hood and check the oil levels. So I can’t say with 100% certainty that it hadn’t started leaking earlier. The only evidence of there being a problem was that oil pressure gauge suddenly dropping, two days ago, while I was driving to my mother’s apartment.

We are both perplexed.

The part he ordered will arrive tomorrow morning. He told me to text him in the morning about coming in. He is fully booked tomorrow, but he’ll have a couple of other guys in, and he will squeeze my truck somewhere in there. I asked him if he topped up the oil level, and he told me he didn’t have to. It seems that I over filled it with my last addition when I got home from my mother’s apartment! He did instruct me to check the oil level again, before coming back tomorrow, in case I needed to add more. That’s how bad the leak was!

When it was time to go, I had to ask him where the truck was.

He checked his cameras…

… then went out to move the ambulance waiting to be worked on out of the way, so I could back out and leave. 😄 No wonder I couldn’t see it!

Once I was clear, I stopped just long enough to let my family know I was on the way home.

Then watched the oil gauge slowly dropping again during the entire drive.

I am so glad I got that checked before doing any major driving around. Especially before doing our first city stock up shop!!!

Before pulling into the garage, I stopped to double check, confirming that there was zero sign of any oil leak visible on the dirt floor.

Once I was home, I updated the family in more detail, then updated my siblings. In talking keys with my sister, and my hopes of getting to my mother’s apartment tomorrow, she told me she could meet me there in the morning, but only for a short time. Now that I know I’ll be back at the garage tomorrow, I suggested she leave them with my mother tomorrow morning. That is likely the best way to get them to my brother, who is dealing with public housing in regards to my mother’s rental agreement.

At that point, it was only just past 1pm, and the weather was so nice (-18C/0F), I wanted to take advantage of it and headed back outside to do some shoveling. I needed to clear the drifts blocking part of our turnaround space in the yard, as well as a couple of paths that were blocked in places with drifts. I was out there for a couple of hours.

Gosh, did it feel good!

I’ll have to be extra diligent with the meds tonight, though, or I’ll be barely able to walk, tomorrow!

By the time I was finished, it was time to feed the outside cats.

They were enjoying the lovely weather, too! Especially this bunch.

I am so glad we had that old catio roof panel to scavenge as a wall for the shelf shelter! It makes for a lovely greenhouse effect, and they can see out at the same time. There are at least 9 cats in that photo! Plus I think one ran out when I went by to put away the shovel in the sun room.

That done, I finally headed inside for the day – and a lovely supper featuring bacon wrapped pork tenderloin, my daughters made.

Today was quite pleasant, but we are supposed to drop to -30C/-22F tonight. If the long range forecasts are at all accurate, we won’t get that cold again for the rest of the winter. Tomorrow’s high, however, is supposed to be sunny and almost as warm as today, so I expect I will do the walk to the hospital after dropping off the truck and be able to visit my mother again.

I can’t believe we’re at the end of January already.

Hopefully, she will have accepted the offered painkillers and will be doing better. For someone who complains so much about her pain levels, she is so unwilling to actually accept the only thing that can really make a difference. Yet very willing to expect some magical doctor somewhere (a white male, of course) to magically fix something that has no fix, while at the same time convincing herself that the people taking care of her are deliberately causing her pain.

If all goes well, my truck will be worked on and finished early enough that I can still get to my mother’s apartment and bring some things back with me. I especially want to get that wheelchair, as the hospital asked me to bring it in a while ago. Then on Saturday, I plan to be back with my brother and SIL as we take the last of everything out, and try to find somewhere to store them here at the farm.

After all that, I should FINALLY be able to do our stock up shopping in the city!

What a month it has been.

The Re-Farmer

Yesterday

January 22, 2026 / Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

Wow. What a day it turned out to be!

The original plan.

Get three cats to the vet for spay/neuter. That’s an hour’s drive one way, so we were going to drop them off, then stay in the (smaller, nearer) city to do any shopping we needed until we got the call to pick up the cats. Typically, that’s been around 1 or 2, though I’ve have them call me before noon at times.

Once the cats were picked up, we’d take them home, I’d drop them and our shopping off with my daughter, then I would go to my mother’s apartment in the town south of us, check on things, clean her fridge, pick up the wheelchair the hospital requested, then go to the town north of us, to my mother’s in the hospital. They want to measure her in it and see if it’s appropriate to go with her to a personal care home, whenever that happens.

After dropping off the wheelchair, I planned to visit with my mother for a while. Due to her cognitive issues, she was not told that there was an appointment at 6pm with my brother, as PoA, the doctor and myself, as her advocate for the past 7+ years. From there, I expected to go home.

Of course, that didn’t happen.

Well. Part of it happened.

The first thing to do was get three fasting cats from the isolation shelter, into carriers. We really, really wanted to get Frank. She was perched on the shelf above the cat bed, in the middle, where it was hard for either of us to reach her from the sliding windows. She did get close enough that my daughter could get her, but I couldn’t get around to get the carrier closer before Frank escaped.

Frank does NOT want to get got!

Thankfully, my daughter did not end up bleeding. (Side note: I finally found the scratch proof gauntlets today! They were hiding in plain sight, of course….)

So we grabbed who we could. That turned out to be Sir Robin, who is extremely easy to get got, Grommet, also and easy one, and a grey tabby with no name, because it was the biggest of the remaining cats in the shelter.

Oh, and we had 7 cats and kittens in there to fast overnight, not 8. I was sure there was a second tabby kitten in there, but I was wrong.

The tabby was not happy. This is a kitten we’ve been able to pet and pick up, but nowhere near as socialized as the other two. We were 99% sure this one was male. We’ve got several similar looking, short haired, grey tabbies that move around so much, I’m never quite sure if I’m looking at the same one twice.

Our goal was to be on the road by 7:30, to get to the clinic for 8:30, though our drop off time was 8:50.

We did manage to be on the road by 7:30, but with road conditions in places, we per parking at the clinic closer to 8:45. Which is why I always like to leave early!

During the drive in, I brought up that we needed a name for the tabby. Neither of us could think of one right away, but while checking them in, my daughter came up with Flopsy, because when we pick him up, that’s how he gets. Flopsy.

Once the cats were checked in and taken to the back, my daughter and I headed over to the Walmart and had breakfast at the McRaunchies there. It was shortly after 9am by then.

After breakfast, we did our shopping. With the polar vortex expected to hit soon, we had a few things we wanted to restock on, plus we found extras. That will get its own post later, since it did turn out to be a larger shop.

I got a message from my husband that one of my packages is in, so I added picking that up on my list of things to do after dropping off the cats at home.

When packing things into the box of the truck, we were selectively packing things into insulated bags to prevent them from freezing, rather than the other way around.

Of course, since I needed to get up and get on the road early in the day, I had an almost sleepless night. I was pretty tired, so we warmed up the truck and just stayed in it, while I tried to nap a bit. We had to turn the truck on to warm up again only once in that time.

After a while, though, I needed to use the washroom, so I headed back into the Walmart, while my daughter stayed in the truck. I hadn’t realized, while I was napping, that the weather had already started to turn. A huge wind had picked up, and there was blowing snow, everywhere. Not new snow. The wind was picking up any loose snow out there, and the parking lot was in whiteout conditions!

I headed in for a few minutes then decided to go to a Dollarama that shares the same parking lot. I found a few things there before rejoining my daughter in the truck.

By this time, it was well past noon and I was expecting to get a call from the clinic soon. My daughter needed her turn to use the facilities, so we both went in and ended up finding a few more things to purchase. Once we were done there, we decided we may as well go to the clinic. We could be in their waiting room instead of the truck, and it wouldn’t be too long, right?

Right?

We got there before 2, only to find out they hadn’t even started on any of the kittens yet.

Keep in mind, these poor things had been fasting for about 17 hours by then. It turned out the clinic had a couple of large dogs needing surgery that took more time, so doing the kittens got delayed.

Now, I hadn’t bothered to tell them that I had a 6pm appointment, because… well… it was at 6pm, and we dropped off at 8:45-8:50am. They know we hang out in town because of the long drive, and they’ve always made a point to do our cats quickly because of that.

Not this time!

When I found out the cats hadn’t been started yet, I told them that I had a scheduled appointment. I was assured the cats would be read by 4. I explained, it’s not just the appointment, but that I was needing to drop the cats of at home in our little hamlet, then drive to one town to pick up a wheelchair (forget cleaning out the fridge, at this point!) and take it to the hospital in yet another town.

I was told they would try to get them done as soon as possible.

So we sat to wait.

Next to a couple of adorable kittens in a cat cage that were available for adoption. While there, a tech came to get them and return them several times, and we learned that they were about to be adopted out together! So glad they are staying together.

It was about quarter past three when a tech came out. They were about to start on Sir Robin the Brave, but he had messed himself in the carrier (they’ve been in carriers all this time?? They usually get transferred to larger cages!), and his back end was a dried up mess. She confirmed that these were outdoor cats and that they would be going outside again, so they would try to wash him off as best they could, rather than just shave the area. Easier and faster to shave, but no one wants to risk him getting frostbite on his nethers!

Which means they didn’t actually start the surgery until probably half past three.

We could hear the techs talking at one point, probably while still trying to wash off Sir Robin, and heard them giggle with delight over his full name.

Then we waited.

When 4:00 came and went, I was messaging my brother to warn him I might be late.

Finally, at about 4:20, someone came out to let us know the cats were done. Still groggy, but awake enough that we could take them. We got the instructions (we’ll keep them in the isolation shelter for at least 3 days) and the carriers were brought out. I’d already left the donation funds with the front desk when we checked them in, so we could leave immediately. My daughter and I loaded the carriers and were on our way.

Thankfully, by this time, the winds had died down a little bit, and there wasn’t as much blowing snow. I was able to do the speed limit for most, not all, of the drive.

Once we got home, my daughter got out to open the gate, but left it open for me as I drove into the yard and up to the house. I started unloading our shopping just to the front steps until my daughter caught up and helped me. Once the truck box was empty, we unloaded the carriers. Then my daughter took over while I headed back out again.

I just barely made it in time.

I had just parked at the hospital when I got a message from my brother. They had just arrived themselves, were set up in a family room for the meeting, and told me where it was.

The doctor was a few minutes later, so we had time to catch up and focus on what we were trying to find out, etc.

At one point, my SIL asked, how do we respond if they try to send my mother home again?

My answer was simple.

No.

That’s it. Just, no. They can’t send her home. Homecare is not reliable, and I can’t be driving that distance – especially in winter! – to cover for them so often.

Thankfully, that never became an issue.

The doctor came in and actually recognized us, from when my mother was in the hospital almost a year ago. There was a nurse as well, who was also the note taker for the hospital (my brother took his own notes, of course. He’s very organized that way).

We had a very good and, I would even say productive, meeting.

One thing is clear. The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.

They knew nothing about the panels done by home care – I was there for both of them, including the one that was done before my mother went to the hospital – even though the report would have gone up to the same department the hospital has to go through when it comes to long term care assessment. He was able to let us know what was found in my mother’s X-rays that were finally done, though it wasn’t “official” since the radiology department still had to review them. As expected, she has severe osteoarthritis. That’s the source of her pain. He did not have access to my mother’s MRI brain scan results, but he could work on getting them.

We were very confused when he started talking about my mother’s congenital heart disease as the cause of her edema, when she’s been seen by a cardiologist, and her heart checked out better than most people a quarter her age.

Oh, wow. I just went out to meet the prescription delivery driver. That wind out there is BRUTAL!!!

Where was I?

Oh, yes.

So the doctor explained that they use the term “congenital heart disease” to cover a lot of things. In my mother’s case, it’s her A-fib, which she’s had forever (I have it, too). It has never been a problem. Now, however, he basically described it as the upper chambers of her heart being in a constant quiver, while the lower chambers are pumping normally, when it used to be just a little hiccup now and then. To put it simply, her heart is getting tired and misfiring more. This is what my father got a pace maker for, but she’s not at that stage. It didn’t come up as an option, though; we all know that at her age, surgery would be a greater risk than the A-fib is right now. That her heart is otherwise strong and healthy and all her arteries are clear helps, but it won’t stop the edema.

In the end, my mother has two issues going that mean she can no longer go back to her apartment to live independently, even with home care. There’s the edema, and the OA, and right now, the OA is causing her so much pain and reducing her mobility, it’s actually the more severe issue.

Then he had to get our consent (which they already got from my mother) to do a panel for my mother to go to a personal care home.

…

YES!!!!

Good grief. We’ve begging for this from the start.

So the official hospital testing and paperwork will be done and go to the department that makes the decisions. Because 1) my mother’s level of care doesn’t need hospital status, 2) she’s bored out of her tree and 3) they need the bed for more urgent patients, my mother will probably be transferred to a temporary long term care facility – she may even be back in the same town her apartment is in! – before being transferred to the nursing home she’s been trying to get into for the past 2 years or so. Even then, she might get transferred to a different one before she get get into the one she wants. Once she’s in a long term care facility, even a temporary one, there will be more programs and activities available to her, so she won’t be stuck sitting in her room, day after day.

We did also have a chance to discuss some other issues related to our vandal and that he might try to convince my sister to help him manipulate my mother. He’d managed to do this with my late father. Right now, the one thing protecting my mother from her own self sabotage is that my brother has binding PoA, so even if she is declared mentally unfit, he can take care of her. They already understand that, at this point, cognitively she cannot make things like legal decisions on her own, but they will get her officially tested and assessed, so that there is documentation. This way, even if they do convince her to sign something, it won’t be legally binding. My mother, with my sister’s help (“I was just following her wishes”, was her explanation) has already messed herself up so badly in other areas, she has no clue what she’s done and, legally, my brother can’t fix it. They also want photos of our vandal and my sister to have with my mother’s file, so they can recognize them as people with limited access to my mother.

I’m so disappointed that my sister got manipulated into it, and is completely oblivious to the harm she has helped cause. Honestly, I have concerns about my sister’s cognitive health, too. But she’s skinny, and we all know skinny people are perfectly healthy and never have such problems, even if she is almost 70.

Yeah, I’m being sarcastic, but that is essentially what I’ve been told flat out, in different ways.

So then we got to talking about my mother’s apartment. She’s not going back, we know that, but until the panel process officially declares that, it’s recommended we don’t end that contract yet. However, it’s basically 99.99% sure the panel application will accept that she needs to be in a personal care home, so go ahead and start packing. We can basically cancel her services while we pack and empty the apartment, little by little, so that once that official word comes through (and we don’t know how long that will be), all we would need to do is cancel her rental agreement with public housing.

That all done, we parted ways, then went to visit my mother. She was very surprised to see us (we learned my sister did visit earlier, as today is her non-sabbath related day off), and happy, too. Which was a nice change.

The visit was… about as good as can be. She was in a good mood and I think her pain levels are under control, as she had only a few “moments”. We updated her on the status of things, as best we could. We explained the importance of her accepting any transfer they offer her, because it’s part of the whole process of getting her where she wants to be.

Which was when she started talking about “going home”. Meaning, her apartment.

*sigh*

We had to go over that with her again. I expect we’ll have to do it many more times. The doctor, thankfully, is quite aware of her self sabotage. Sadly, this is something they encounter quite a bit.

While talking about temporary long term care and getting her to where she wants to be, she told us about someone that was across the hall from her. He was doing very poorly, they had to wrap his legs, there was always someone having to tend to him…

He just got transferred to the nursing home my mother wants to be in.

She was upset that he got in before she did.

…

We had to explain (again) that people who get taken to nursing homes more suddenly, it’s because they’re not expected to live long. People who are in far worse shape than she is in.

Her complete lack of empathy threw us, even though she does it all the time.

Things got off track a few times, but that did give me a chance to bring out a gift I got for my mother.

My mother has always loved to draw and is really quite good. She doodles all over. So I got her this.

An actual sketch pad, rather than the envelopes and scrap paper she’s been using, with tear off pages, and colouring pencils that don’t need to be sharpened. She already has pen and pencil.

I know it’s harder for her, with her vision getting worse, but she might have some good days and feel up to it. Or just be bored enough to try!

I honestly expected her to be angry, as she usually is when I try to give her things, but she was actually almost nice about it. She just commented on how she can’t really draw anymore, but we encouraged her.

We talked about her apartment, and she started telling us what to do with things. We had to reassure her, she didn’t have to worry about the “stuff”, we would take care of them, and we know she doesn’t want things thrown out (unless they are damaged or broken or course).

By the time we headed out, it was coming up on 8pm. I’d left home around 7:30, had breakfast somewhere before 9:30, and the only thing I’d eaten since then was a handful of cashews and a chocolate bar we’d picked up as road munchies, on the way home from picking up the neutered cats. I had hoped to stop somewhere to eat before going home, but it was so late and I was so tired, I just got some gas and headed home.

Just as I pulled up to the last stop sign, a couple of miles from home, the check engine light on the truck turned on.

*sigh*

I wasn’t about to check on it when I got home. My daughters, sweethearts that they are, had hot food almost ready for me by the time I got in.

What a long, long day, and I didn’t get anywhere near as much done as I had hoped.

I got to bed early (for me, anyhow), and woke up to this.

Yeah, that’s -31C/-24F with a wind chill of -46C/-51F

It could be worse. Some areas of our province were warned of wind chills of -50C/-58F.

That’s what I saw before heading outside to do the cat stuff, skipping most of my morning routine. By the time I got back inside, the temperature had dropped to -32C/-26F. When I headed out to meet the pharmacy delivery guy, it was back to -31C/-24F with the wind chill at -45C/-49F

The outside cats got their kibble and warm water. Even the heated water bowl in the sun room had some ice on top, and the one in the isolation shelter had frost on the edge closest to the window!

The isolation cats were all snuggled together in the cat bed. Last night, my daughter let out the “extras” that wanted to be let out, so there are now four teenagers in there right now. While I was doing the kibble and water, my older daughter gave the isolation cats a couple of cans of wet cat food. The benefits of being locked up in there is special food treats, which won’t freeze before they finish eating it.

It was still at -32C/-26F when I headed out again in the late morning. I got the truck going – it started fine and nothing sounds out of the ordinary – to get the OBDII scanner hooked up. I got the same code as last time; air-fuel ratio imbalance. Top recommendation is to replace the oxygen sensor. The other code concerns me more, though; power mode master input circuits mismatch. The top reported fix for that is replacing the ignition switch, while the next frequently reported fix is, replaced ignition switch wiring harness.

I’ve sent screen caps of the scans to our garage. I’m not as concerned about the O2 sensor. That seems to be temperature related, as it went away on its own, last time. Both code frequencies are listed as “common” for our truck’s make and model. I’ve looked up the parts and they don’t seem to be expensive, though these wouldn’t be local prices.

*sigh*

We really don’t need this. It’s the price of having an older, high mileage vehicle, but it was what we could afford and get financing for. Still, I’m so tired of these sensor issues – which apparently GM is notorious for.

Thankfully, we won’t need to go anywhere for several days. Today is supposed to be the worst for both cold and wind. Things are supposed to be a bit warmer, but still brutal, over the next three days. After that, we’ll have more average temperatures, with highs hovering above and below -20C/-4F.

Interestingly, the long range forecast is showing a whole lot of days above freezing, in February! February is usually colder than January. At least in the first couple of weeks. If the forecasts are in any way accurate, today and the next few days will be the last deep freeze of this winter.

I sure hope they are right. I so feel for the people that have to drive and work outside in these temperatures! Not to mention the critters out there. I’m glad we can at least provide some worth and reliable food and water for the yard cats – and whatever creature cleaned out every crumb of kibble in the catio shelter!

I am so done with winter.

The Re-Farmer

Isolated, and updates

January 20, 2026 / Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

Well, my hope to go to my mother’s apartment today went out the window. Yesterday’s clearing of the driveway left me in too much pain. I’m wanting to clean our her fridge, and I just can’t do the bending and stretching without time to recover first.

I did, however, get something important accomplished this evening. Tomorrow, we have three cats booked for spay or neuter, which means we needed to get cats into the isolation shelter to fast overnight.

A bigger job than expected.

First, there was moving the box sheltering the ramp door. There is a cross piece at the back of the box to ensure the sides don’t bend one way or the other. Normally, I can just pull it forward and it lifts the ramp slightly as I get it out, with only having to wiggle around the latch.

The ramp door was frozen to the ground.

Nothing the ice scraper couldn’t free up in short order.

That thing is so handy!

Then I got the two litter boxes out from the lower left to clean them out. One of them, set under the larger floor area, was frozen solid, but the one under where the hammock and heat lamp is, was actually thawed out. I was impressed there was enough warmth that far down!

After that, I made sure to sweep away any loose bits of kibble, so that there would be no food around after we take out the kibble bowl.

My daughter came out to help and we got three carriers out from the sun room and gave them a good scrubbing, using snow as the “water”.

Actually, she did the scrubbing, while I cleaned out and refreshed the water bowls, and started prepping other things.

I spotted Adam, hanging out in another carrier. One with a side opening door that the cats like to hang out in. It’s got pieces of rigid insulation on the bottom, so it’s much nicer on the toe beans. Once the isolation shelter was ready, all I would have needed to do was close the door, then take her over!

The plan was to have at least 5 cats and kittens in the isolation shelter, so that we could grab 3 in the morning, just in case there were escapees. Frank was already in the shelter, along with Pinky. She was supposed to be done at the same time as Pinky, only she escaped, and still doesn’t trust us. I’ve been able to pet her more often, though, so maybe, just maybe, we can get her into a carrier, tomorrow morning!

After scrubbing the carriers, I took them inside to get them ready with puppy pads inside, bringing them into the house to be warmer for tomorrow, while my daughter went to close up the ramp door.

It wouldn’t close.

The hinges were full of ice. When we had those warmer days not long ago, with the added warmth of the heat bulb, some of the snow on the roof started to melt from the bottom. I had seen it dripping, but didn’t even think that it was getting in between the box sheltering the doorway, and the hinges of the ramp.

My daughter used the ice scraper and got it clear enough to close the ramp door. Then she went through the windows to remove cats from inside that were already fixed. Except Pinky. She likes it there, and she doesn’t bully the other cats and kittens, so we left her.

Midnight REALLY wanted to get back in!

I went to try and get Adam, only to find that Gouda had joined her inside the carrier. Gouda is neutered and socialized, but when I tried to pet him to coax him out, I scared Adam. Gouda stayed in the carrier, Adam ran out, and wouldn’t come back. Domino, the kitten that was just barely big enough that they might have tried to spay her last time, if we insisted on it (we didn’t, as it would have meant two too-small kittens stuck in strange cages for several hours), tried to go in, too.

We tried and tried, but could not get Adam back into the carrier.

We did get Domino, though, so my daughter took her over to the isolation shelter. Adam was getting panicky with our efforts, as careful as we tried to be, so we stopped. She’s already getting more feral, rather than more socialized, and we didn’t want to make things worse.

We do have our extras, though.

Once they were all in and we’d done the kibble feeding, we also added a couple of cans of wet cat food as an isolation shelter treat. They absolutely went nuts over that! At least in the isolation shelter, we know the wet cat food won’t freeze before it can be eaten.

So we now have two adult cats in there – Pinky and Frank. I really, really want to get Frank in.

We also have Sir Robin and Grommet (both males), who are among the oldest of the kittens. Domino, a tuxedo, is female, but my daughter got another tuxedo I’ve learned the girls have named Batman in there. I believe that one is male. He’s bigger than Domino. There are also two tabbies in there. One a fair bit bigger than the other. I think they are both male, but I’m not sure. Neither have names.

Yes, there are eight cats, cattens and kittens in the isolation shelter!

Once we get our three tomorrow morning, we can let the others out if they want.

In other things…

I’ve been chatting a lot with the rescue today. One of the kittens they took in from us, from a trio that all fit into one carrier, suddenly became very sick. The vets at first thought it was panleuk, but that turned out to be a false positive. They have no idea what’s wrong with him, but he’s in the clinic’s emergency room now. They’ll do as much as they can for him, but it’s going to be expensive. They’ve been posting pictures and information about him on social media, asking for donations to help. At the very least, they’re expecting it to be around $2500. At least, that’s what they expected when they thought it was panleuk. None of the cats from our place have ever tested positive for panleuk, FIV, or any of the others they test for. These kittens have been with the foster since August, and until it was determined to be a false positive, they were at a loss as to how he could have contracted it. He’s been vaccinated for it twice. It’s very contagious, but no other cats with the foster have been sick. Now that this has been ruled out, they’re all at a complete loss.

For now, it’s a wait and see.

In other things, my brother has been contacted by someone to talk about my mother and getting her into a care home. It looks like they’ll be able to get her into somewhere temporary, before sending her to the nursing home she’s been asking for, for so long. When? Who knows, but the process is being worked on.

I got a call from someone else. They know my mother has her own wheelchair – the one my later father had while he was in the nursing home – and wanted to know if I could bring it in. They need to be able to measure her for it, to see whether she can use that, or if she needs another one. It’s a folding type, pretty much the same as what they have for my mother in the hospital right now, just older. She confirmed that there’s no cushion. If my mother does end up using this wheelchair in the nursing home, they would arrange for a wheelchair cushion.

So tomorrow is going to be a long day. After we drop off the cats, my daughter and I will do some errands while we wait for the call to pick the cats up again. Depending on how long that is, I might just drop them all off at home, then head out again immediately to go my mother’s apartment, get the wheelchair, go to the hospital to drop it off, then visit my mother. All together, I’ll be spending at least 4 hours on the road, driving from the city the clinic is in and back, plus whatever driving we do with errands in between, then driving to my mother’s town, to the hospital in another town, and finally home.

We’re having to do most of this without telling my mother a whole lot, because of her cognitive issues. She gets too agitated. All we can really say is what we’ve been saying all along. They’re working on it. It just takes time.

We’re still in limbo, but at least we know something is being done in the background!

The good thing is, all this will be done before that polar vortex hits, and we can hibernate through it.

The Re-Farmer

Got it done. Plus an update

January 19, 2026 / Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

It took about 1 1/2 hours, but it’s done.

The plow went by, increasing the snow ridge at the end of the driveway. It really wasn’t that bad and we could have driven through. The problem is, between the plow ridges and the driving, the end of the driveway was getting narrower and narrower. I needed to get that opened up, before the next polar vortex hits.

I love that ice scraper. It does a bang up job of cutting through hard packed plow ridge snow!

Technically, today was warmer, and there was less wind, but even a slight breeze brought was was -20C/-4F to a “real feel” of -31C/-24F. I was well bundled but, by the end of it, my toes and finger tips were starting to feel it!

While I was out there, my mother called from the hospital. I didn’t see my daughter’s message until I was putting things away, almost an hour later. My mother apparently sounded frustrated.

So when I called back, I made sure to talk to the nurse, first. I found out that she has been refusing her afternoon pain meds. Because she’s been in so much pain with her back, and the Voltaren wasn’t enough anymore, they now have she scheduled to take painkillers 3 times a day, instead of “as needed”. She’s apparently been having better days and saying no to the pills.

When talking to her about it later, she told me, she’s taking so many pills! Which makes it sound like it isn’t that she’s in less pain, but that she just doesn’t want to take another pill.

*sigh*

I asked the nurse about my mother getting Xrays, but she could find nothing on the file about it. She made notes to talk to the doctor about it. I also brought up that we need to have a meeting with the doctor, so she made notes for someone that can check his schedule, and to call my brother to book a time. My schedule is flexible, so I can work around his.

Then I got transferred to my mother’s room.

*sigh*

She was shouting right from her “hello”. It actually hurt my ears. When I asked her why she was shouting, it was “so you can hear me.”

Yeah, Mom. I can hear you. So can everyone outside your door and down the hall!

No, I didn’t say that out loud.

She then starting complaining. No one is calling. No one is visiting. No one cares (she includes the hospital staff on that). Why doesn’t my brother call or visit?

So I told her about his going to her place to replace the window from the AC set up, then about the woman who fell. She actually knows the woman, as she often does the Gospel readings in church. When I told her about the fall and my brother taking her to the hospital, she only wanted to know, which hospital. I told her, and she started saying, she has children, why did my brother drive her. Her (adult) children weren’t there (I think they live in the city!). Even when I told her, my brother probably saved her life, because if he hadn’t seen her, there was a good chance she would have frozen to death before anyone got to her.

She didn’t care.

She also didn’t have any appreciation for my brother going out to her apartment in the severe cold, getting the window done, helping a neighbour, and still driving her to the farm to drop off the AC, in the dark.

Instead, she kept complaining about how no one calls or visits her. I finally told her that, right then, she was making me regret calling her back, and called her out on how nasty she was being.

She – sarcastically – thanked me for being open with her.

*sigh*

After that, the call was better. She did complain that money was probably taken from her bank account for her apartment. I told her that she IS still renting it. All her things are still there. Of course she has to pay for it. That got us to talking about her things and what she wants done with them.

Don’t throw anything away, she keeps saying.

We’ve got an entire building filled with personal belongings we packed from this house – a building we could really use as the workshop it used to be – that she insists we don’t throw away. Now, we’ll have more, and we’ve already run out of storage space.

Then she demanded I tell her what I planned to do with a particular mirror she’s had stuck in her storage closet for the past 10 years. Something she gets obsessed about, every now and then. I finally had to tell her, don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of it.

Then she started going on about how, really, my sister should be taking care of her more, she and her husband are both on pension, she doesn’t need to be working, she should be taking care of Mom.

I’m sure my sister has been nagged about that a few times, already!

I was eventually able to get a word in – right after she told me, she wants to get out of there! – and told her, I think her problem is, she’s bored. She’s there by herself, with nothing to do, and she’s bored. We talked about it a bit, and she agreed. She is bored and lonely! Which, I told her, is completely understandable!

Well, this post got interrupted by a call from my brother.

We have a meeting booked with the doctor. They got us in as quickly as they could, and it’s an evening meeting, so that works for my brother. It was noted that, since we are dealing with cognitive issues with my mother, she won’t be there, and won’t even be told about it. Our concern was that, if she knew in advance, she’d end up telling our vandal about it, and he could cause problems.

It sucks having to even consider these things.

As for me, I am done for the day. I’m glad I got the end of the driveway cleared, but I’m really going to be paying for it, tonight, even with my meds!

I have to admit, though, I did quite enjoy the shoveling!

The Re-Farmer

How it went

January 15, 2026January 15, 2026 / Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

Oh, goodness.

It did go okay, and the end, but wow.

First, though, the cuteness. This is what I saw after I got home.

Almost. They moved before I could get my phone out to take a picture. When I first came in, Grommet’s chest was plastered against the window screen, with Stinky plastered over top of him. Enjoying the warm air coming from the bathroom! We keep the bathroom door closes, so none of the inside cats come in, so it doesn’t affect our thermostat. The window gets opened when someone is in the shower, to let moisture out, since the ceiling fan stopped working. Again.

They want in. 😄

My first order of business today was to go to my mother’s apartment and check on things. As I was doing the morning routine, though, it was still so incredibly slippery. I knew the roads wouldn’t be as bad, but just walking around the yard was insanely dangerous. I ended up grabbing a bucket and a spade and collecting ashes from the fire pit. There wasn’t enough to do all the paths, but I was able to scatter ashes on the main ones, including to the garage door. What a difference that made!

Happily, the roads were well plowed and nowhere near as icy, and the highway was mostly clear. What wasn’t was wet, rather than icy. We exceeded our predicted high and reached 3C/37F, though the town my mother’s apartment is in was a bit warmer, and the town the hospital is in reached 5C/41F, according to one of the announcement signs I passed while on my way home!

I hadn’t had breakfast before I left and by the time I got to my mother’s town, it was lunch time, so I paused to pick up some fried chicken and wedges at our favourite gas station, and took it to my mother’s to eat.

When I got there, I found a message from my daughter. She had been in the shower when my mother phoned, and she could actually hear her shouting to the answering machine. She was asking where I was, sounding very angry and out of breath.

So I immediately called the hospital to talk to someone at the nursing station. I told her I was at my mother’s apartment, but my mother had called our home, yelling at the answering machine and sounding out of breath. Before I had a chance to say I was going to be there later, she said she would check on my mother right away and ended the call. I was good with that!

I started to eat my breakfast when I got another message from my daughter. My mother had called again. My daughter wasn’t near a phone so it went to machine again, and she could hear my mother demanding to know where I was, and that it was an emergency.

!!!

After that call, my daughter told me she was going to keep a handset close by, so she could answer before it went to the answering machine. Thankfully, it turned out to be unnecessary.

I called the hospital back.

When I got the nurse again, it seems she heard my mother making that call, and saying it was an emergency.

There was no emergency.

My mother tried to say, oh, it was just to my daughter. The nurse told me she explained to her that when you say “emergency” it can mean very different things.

What she wanted was for me to visit.

*sigh*

I’ve since listened to both messages. They were both very short, and wow, did she sound furious!

I told her that I was checking on my mother’s apartment in another town at the time, but that I would be visiting her in the afternoon, with a few errands in between, and she promised she would let my mother know this.

After that, I could finally finish eating!

I then packed up a few things, mostly canned goods, and shifted things from her freezer to the fridge before setting it as low as it could go. I’ll come back soon to clean out the jars of frozen stuff (I can’t quite tell what some of them are). After that, the fridge can be shut off entirely and cleaned.

I took care of a few more little things before heading out. My next stop was the hardware store, looking for some Roof Melt, but they didn’t have any. Then I drove to the next town to visit my mother in the hospital.

When I got to her room, I was surprised to see her door wide open. There was quite a bit of bustle going on, with my mother in a wheelchair and some of her things packed up. They were in the process of moving her to another room!

My arrival paused things. They had been about to have my mother set up in the hallway while they cleared her room, but with me there, did I want to take her to the cafeteria, instead?

Which is when another nurse walked in and said, no.

My mother wasn’t going to be moved. They would move someone else.

The shuffling has to do with the size of the rooms. People like my mother, who are there for longer periods, get the “corner” rooms, as they are larger, and single beds. They were going to move my mother so that someone from a smaller room could be moved into hers, but decided to instead move the other patient to the room they were going to move my mother to. So my mother could stay where she was!

This hospital only has 8 extended care beds, and 4 “special care” beds. I think my mother is in an extended care bed.

So, that commotion done, I helped my mother transfer from the wheelchair to her favourite chair in the corner. She was clearly in a lot of pain.

Once everything was settled, I jokingly said, “so, I hear you’ve been difficult!”

I then told her that, when she had tried to call me, I was at her apartment, checking on things. I could see she was torn between happy that I was doing that, and angry that I wasn’t there when I called!

She chose angry.

For the next while, she ranted about how they are not taking care of her, they don’t care. She hasn’t seen a doctor. They don’t care. They see all these other patients, but not her. They don’t care. They say she’s been seen by doctors, but she has eyes and she hasn’t seen any doctors, the entire time she’s been there. They don’t care. They walk around in the hallways talking, instead of taking care of her. They don’t care.

She wants to leave.

She even said, she could go back to her apartment.

*sigh*

I totally understand that she wants to leave! She’s been there for about a month now. It took a while of explaining (you’re on their side! you always make excuses for them!) things like she can’t leave without a doctor discharging her. She can’t go back to her apartment, because she would have the same problem of not having help available when she needs it. No one knows where she is going next and yes, we are frustrated about that, too!

Thankfully, between that and a nurse coming in a couple of times to refresh her water, etc., my mother finally calmed down and we could talk normally.

One of the things she brings up is her pain. Apparently, she ran out of Voltaren, so she went into the hall with the empty tube, asking for more, but they aren’t using it on her (she’s now scheduled to have it applied twice a day). Someone finally took the empty tube and said they would get a new one, but they were running around tending to other patients, but not her.

…

I had to explain again, that she is actually doing really good. Her treatment right now is all the pills she’s taking (thirteen! Yes; they’ve added in her painkillers…), checking her vitals, etc. She asked, why are they weighing her all the time, so I explained that it’s to keep track of any changes. A sudden change in weight is a warning sign.

She was somewhat mollified.

As for her pain, I told her I would talk to the nursing station and see if they can get some Xrays done and see what’s going on. It’s probably arthritis, and there isn’t much they can do about that, but at least they would have a better idea of what’s going on. She was very happy at that suggestion.

Then I found out my sister had come by yesterday, which is her mid week day off. My sister never complains, I was told. And she’s never in a hurry, I was told.

*sigh*

My mother is so determined to drive wedges between us.

Then she told me our vandal visited yesterday.

Twice.

!!!!

It seems he was being treated yesterday, and he visited her before and after treatment. During one of them, he brought someone along. My mother wasn’t sure what they were, but it sounds like they were a therapist or counselor or something like that. He was, of course, on his best behaviour, and even asked her to sing some songs for him.

…

Red flags, all over the place.

Also, the doctors have apparently told him there is nothing more they can do for him. Which means his condition is terminal.

More red flags.

Based on past history with my late father, we’re going to have to be on the lookout that he doesn’t show up with a lawyer or something, and try to get Power of Attorney away from my brother. My mother would be very easily manipulated at this point.

Someone from the hospital, meanwhile, had called my brother last night and requested a copy of his PoA documents. I have copies of them, so I was able to bring them today. That, at least, has been taken care of.

Meanwhile, my mother talked about how our visits were “like medicine” and she felt so much better.

I’m not sure what she expects. She had visitors yesterday, but today she was calling us in a fury, demanding my presence? The only reason she told me about her visits yesterday was because I mentioned I had originally intended to visit yesterday, but the conditions were too slippery. I told her, now that she’s in town, I will be able to visit more often, but I don’t know when that would be exactly, from week to week. She told me, she would at least be happy with a phone call.

Then she started complaining that my calls weren’t getting through to her, and the nurse had to pass on messages. I explained to her that when I call, it’s to the nursing station, and they transfer me only when I ask them to. Since I was at her apartment, I had instead asked them to pass on the message, that I would be visiting.

I had to repeat it a few times, but I think she got it.

I’m happy to say that, when I left, it was on a good note. Very different from when I first arrived!

As promised, I stopped at the nursing station to pick up the documents, then talk about the possibility of getting X-rays for my mother. I mentioned that my mother still insists a doctor has never seen her. The nurse I was speaking to told me that she was with the main doctor when he saw her – this would be the one black doctor in the entire hospital that my mother doesn’t remember seeing. She did admit that it’s been a while since he’d seen her.

When I mentioned her pain, I was asked if my mother had been in any accidents, and I told them about her car accident, years ago, that is why one of her knees is currently bent sideways. As for her back and hip pain, it’s probably osteoarthritis. We talked about her current pain medication, which clearly isn’t cutting it anymore, and even the Voltaren doesn’t seem to be working as well anymore, either. The nurse promised to talk to the doctor about arranging X-rays, so they can have more information and determine any changes in her painkillers, at least. That’s about as much as they can do right now!

That done, I did the rest of my own errands before heading home. With how warm things got today, I knew the roads were going to get quite icy again.

If all goes well, I expect to be back at my mother’s apartment this weekend. Possibly with my brother, if he can squeeze out the time.

We’re going to need to get moving boxes or bins and packing material soon. We still don’t know where my mother is going but, with my brother’s availability, it would be good to get things mostly packed up before the end of the month.

We really need to get some idea of what’s happening next with my mother! All we know is “she’s not going home” – but until that’s official, there still is the possibility that they’ll discharge her to go back to her apartment.

Being in limbo sucks.

The Re-Farmer

Blinding! Plus and update

January 14, 2026 / Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

While doing the morning rounds, I could not believe just how slippery everything was! I don’t think we’ve had anything like this, since we moved out here. Today was even more dangerous than after it was actually raining.

It was also blinding.

The camera on my phone seems to compensate a bit for the brightness. I couldn’t actually look at where I was taking the pictures, the sun’s glare on the ice was so blinding. I had to be super careful walking the paths to set out food and water for the yard cats. I was really appreciating the handles I’d put on the isolation shelter, as they gave me something to grip as I went from one sliding window to the other. I’d cleared the patio blocks below, but they are now covered with a thick layer of sheer ice.

Tomorrow, we’re supposed to get above freezing, so things should soften up and, in some areas, melt clear. Hopefully, that means the highway will be dry by the afternoon, as I plan to go to my mother’s apartment to check on things, then hit the hardware store to get some Roof Melt to get rid of the ice dam that has formed on the sun room roof.

Speaking of my mother…

I called the hospital last night. I timed it badly, as they were doing shift change, and I was asked to call back later. That meant I was talking to a new shift nurse, who had just barely been debriefed.

My mother, it turns out, had a rather “bad” day… and by “bad”, it was about her behaviour.

She had called me early in the morning, before they came to do her vitals, and over an hour before they were scheduled to do her morning meds. After I called the nurses’ desk back to explain the call to my mother, they checked on her, then I got a call back with an update.

Some time after that, it turns out my mother went into the hall and started yelling and swearing at the staff, calling them stupid. The nurse I was talking to had been updated during their shift change meeting, but hadn’t completely finished reading the written report yet, but she was able to tell me that the previous nurse managed to get her back into her room. The nurse then addressed her behaviour, in private.

I was both surprised and not surprised at the same time. I think it was the swearing that actually surprised me the most, because I didn’t think she knew any swear words in English. I’m probably wrong on that. If she had been swearing in Polish, it’s unlikely they wouldn’t have known if something was a swear, other than by tone.

I apologized for my mother’s behaviour, of course, but the nurse just laughed it off. She told me, the get this quite a bit, and never take it personally.

At the end of the call, I made sure to pass on my gratitude for how well they are taking care of my mother. She does not make it easy.

Some changes in her schedule were made, though. My mother complained that they weren’t doing anything for her, regarding her pain in particular. The only things they do for that is give her her Tylenol and rub affected areas with Voltaren, both of which help her a lot. These, however, were “as needed”, and if she didn’t specifically ask for them, she wouldn’t get them. It seems she wasn’t asking for them as often as she should have been. So now, both are scheduled. She will get both, twice a day, without her having to ask for them first.

There really isn’t anything else they can do for her. Most of her maladies are not things that can be fixed. At 94 years old, her body is simply giving out in places – and she really is doing remarkably well for her age! She doesn’t think so, of course.

Hopefully, they will find a care place for her soon, whether its assisted living, or a nursing home, like she wants. These places tend to have activities to help with cognitive decline, or simply for socializing. There is nothing like that available in the hospital, so she’s basically stuck alone for much of the day, stewing in her own mind, without the distractions she had become used to.

At the end of my call with the nurse, who was about to do the evening meds, she promised to call me back, if there was anything of concern. She did not call, so no news is good news.

After checking my mother’s apartment tomorrow, depending on the road conditions, I will drive to the hospital and visit her, too.

For a while, there, my mother had been doing so well. She really was happier than I’d seen her in years. Now, she seems to be reverting to her usual self again. Which makes the idea of visiting her or calling her on the phone a lot more stressful than it should be.

The hospital staff are saints. My mother is not the only difficult patient they have to deal with! At least, with her, she is an “easy” patient, in that she doesn’t need a lot of physical care, for someone that is hospitalized.

While we haven’t had anything official yet, we at least have been told she is not going to be discharged back to her apartment. They just don’t know when or where she will be discharged to, yet.

Which puts the rest of us in limbo.

I suppose we should start packing her apartment, though. I just don’t know where to start!

The Re-Farmer

What a way to start the day

January 13, 2026 / Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

One of the things we found when we were cleaning the house out, before the movers brought our stuff, was an old rotary dial phone.

That phone is now set up beside my bedside, as it will continue working, even during power failures, unlike the modern cordless phones. There is one down side, though.

The ring is LOUD!

That’s what I woke up to.

That wasn’t the most jarring thing, though.

I actually got out of bed to grab the cordless phone, so I could check the call display, first. It was from the hospital. Sort of.

It was my mother, calling from her own phone in the hospital.

The first thing she started asking me was if I knew where the pendant for her Lifeline was. I told her, it was with the base in her apartment now. She wanted me to use it. I told her, I would have to drive to her town to do that (a half hour drive, if road conditions are good. They are not good.). But I have their number, right? Yes…

She wanted me to call her Lifeline to get advice on what to do.

…

She’s in the hospital, and she wants me to call the Lifeline for… health advice?

As you can imagine, this was very confusing even when not bleary from being half asleep!

From what I can figure out, if she had still had the pendant with her, she would have tired to use it, expecting to get a response from Lifeline, even though 1) the base is in her apartment and 2) her account is currently suspended until we know where she is going next.

She also thought the number I had was to whoever would have been monitoring her Lifeline, had it been active. The number I have is for their customer service. I didn’t even think about that at first, because I had no clue what she was getting at.

I told her, she’s in the hospital. If she needs help, use the call button.

What followed as a whole lot of jumbled stuff that I struggled to make sense of. Partly because she was talking in Polish, and didn’t have her teeth in. At the end of it, I did ask why she had switched to Polish and got only a vague answer that I think was her saying she didn’t want anyone to overhear what she was saying.

Somehow, in what was probably not that long of a call at all (though it felt much longer), she managed to…

Tell me the hospital isn’t doing anything for her. They just want her to sit quietly in the corner and die.

She’s been there for a long time (she even figured back to the date she went to the ER), and has still never been seen by a doctor.

They give her lots of pills. Eleven of them this morning (she hadn’t had her morning pills yet, I later confirmed, so… this would be the same morning she’s been talking to me about for over a week).

She is in pain, they come in to rub on the Voltaren, and that’s it, they don’t do anything else.

She wanted me to take her to a different hospital. Maybe they will help her.

Oh, and she squeezed in another complaint about paying for the Lifeline service, but they don’t help her. I reminded her, the service is suspended right now, but she was complaining about that before, anyhow.

When I tried to explain that you can’t just go hospital hopping, while trying to figure out just WHAT she wanted treatment for, I was told I was “on their side” and just wanted her to die.

Then she told me to talk to my brother, because he’s smart, he’ll know what to do.

…

She was clearly having a bit of a freak out, but I could not pin down what was going on. She talked about pain and they just rub on the Voltaren. Does it help? Yes. So what else does she expect them to do? She brought up her dry mouth again. They have given her a spray for that, and she doesn’t even keep it in reach. She wants them to “cure” it somehow, but it’s because she’s sleeping with her mouth open. She didn’t even bring up the pain in her chest that she used the Pepto for, but I couldn’t get the straight of whether there was anything else happening. When she started accusing me of being “on their side”, I told her, I’m trying to understand, but I need words! I need information!

I never got it.

She also went on about how they have five doctors, and no doctor has seen her. I told her, they don’t have five doctors at the same time. They have one. That’s it.

Oh, you’re on their side…

In the end, I promised her that I would pass things on to my brother, because he was wanting to book an appointment with the doctor to talk about next steps, anyhow. I told her, he was probably already at work, so I would message him. She actually ended the call so I could do that, which is unusual.

The first thing I did, though, was call the hospital to talk to whoever was at the nurses’ desk. I explained that I just got a call from my mother and the things she was saying to me. The receptionist didn’t know who my mother’s nurse was on that shift but, after being filled in, she told me she would pass all this on to her nurse, but would also check on my mother herself. She then offered to call back and update me, which I gladly accepted.

Then I got on my computer and started updating my brother. Part way through, I got the call back.

When she checked on my mother, the nurse was there, taking her vitals, and my mother was saying to her some of the things she’d already said to me on the phone.

My mother is apparently just fine. Her vitals are always really great. Her swelling is not an issue anymore. Her pain is being dealt with in various ways, as needed.

So what is it she is wanting to be treated for, to the point of wanting to go to a different hospital?

We don’t know.

My mother’s file was checked, and the last note from the doctor, about the Pepto my mother wanted, was written on the 5th. Today is the 13th. So he has been seeing her, even though he hasn’t needed to add notes each time.

So what is going on?

The doctor is seeing her, but she either doesn’t remember, or she doesn’t believe he’s a doctor. She had complained about how the nurses and doctors should be in uniforms, because she can’t tell them apart from a janitor. This doctor, however, is very distinctive. He’s probably the only black person in the hospital right now, probably the tallest person in the hospital, too, and he’s the same doctor that tended to her when she was hospitalized before. So it could be that she doesn’t think he’s a “real” doctor, because he’s black, and not doing whatever it is she wants done to her. This is a pattern with her, and not just based on colour. For as long as I can remember, she would go to doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, even priests, and any time they started saying things she didn’t want to hear, she would stop seeing them and claim they were somehow uneducated, unqualified, or otherwise not “real” in their title. If they did say something she liked to hear, she will drag that out, over and over, even if it is completely at odds with everything else.

We had a good talk about it. At one point, I read out a response from my brother, saying that my mother doesn’t understand that she’s in a holding pattern right now, while they try to figure out getting her into care, wherever that is. I explained that my mother WANTS to be in a particular nursing home, and that we’ve been trying to help her do that for two years now, with no success.

I think part of the problem (and the person I was talking to agreed) is that my mother is likely lonely and bored. With her eyes failing, she can’t read or write like she used to. She has her radio, but it’s set to a talk radio station in the city, because we couldn’t get the Polish radio station she usually listened to, so she’s probably not bothering. That talk radio station used to be a good one, and I remember we had it on a lot when I was growing up. It has changed significantly, over the years, and would probably not interest her anymore. She has the TV, but there’s only two channels, and she doesn’t approve of either of them. It’s just sports and stuff, and the same thing over and over, she says – and the news is just bad stuff, never good stuff, and the government should take them over and tell them to show only good stuff. Being in a hospital, there aren’t any activities that she can take part in, like there were in her apartment building, either.

So… yeah. She’s probably bored out of her tree, with only her own thoughts to mull on.

Which, considering the things she come up with, must be unpleasant. As my brother has said, it must be really scary to be in my mother’s brain right now. I mentioned that to the person I was talking to, and she agreed. We’re looking at increasing dementia, and she must be getting very frustrated and confused. This would be part of why she would get so upset with me when I can’t figure out what she is trying to tell me, or what she wants me to do. She doesn’t have the words. Even if there was some new thing wrong with her, she doesn’t have the words to tell us.

I updated my brother the rest of the way, but there really isn’t anything much he can do, either. We need to have that meeting with the doctor to get things straight and make decisions – and we’re already in the middle of January! My mother went into the hospital before Christmas.

She’s in the best place she could be right now, until some sort of long term care, assisted living or supportive living accommodations can be found for her, and we do know that she is being paneled for that while she’s there.

But she wants to be treated for something. Anything. All her many complaints, most of which can’t be fixed. Something. But aside from the swelling that got her into the hospital in the first place – which was blamed on a heart condition she doesn’t have – she is not sick. She is feeble, has already had a fall while there, and can no longer live independently. If it weren’t for our making a big deal about that, she probably would have been discharged home weeks ago, and she’s be in even worse shape. She would have been in real trouble if she’d had that fall in her apartment!

So… that was how my day started.

By the time all that was done, it was time for me to head outside for my morning routine, so that got taken care of.

I counted NINE cats and kittens in the isolation shelter, while doing the food and water in there!

The thermometer against the back wall is reading 5C/41F. Of course, it would be much warmer under the heat lamp, where Bug is hanging out.

After getting the morning stuff done, I was falling asleep on my feet, so I set a timer and went down for a short nap. It helped.

I was considering heading out to town today. My SIL had mentioned a product to me to help with the roof dams. I hadn’t even mentioned that we had one to them! They know how much of a problem that one spot it. Anyhow, these are pucks of calcium chloride and, depending on the brand, other chemicals. You just toss them up onto the roof, they melt their way down and then continue to melt away snow and ice for a long time. I called up the local hardware store to see if they had any in stock, but they did not. My mother’s town, so the south of us, has a hardware that apparently has the same brand of product in stock, but I wasn’t going to do highway driving, if I could avoid it.

We did actually reach our high of 3C/37F today, but it was at 4am. By the time I was outside doing my morning routine, it was getting cold, and we were having high winds. Anything that melted while it was warmer overnight was already frozen. As I write this, we are at -16C/3F, with a wind chill of -35C/-31F.

Tomorrow, we’re supposed to reach 1C/34F in the afternoon, through to the early evening, with continued high winds. It’s going to be our last warm day for a while. After that, we’re going to start getting highs below -20C/-4F. So if I’m going to run any errands, tomorrow is the day to do it.

It’s supposed to warm up slightly in the middle of next week, though, which is a good thing. I now have three appointments with the vet for spays or neuters. We’ll just be grabbing whoever we can that is for sure big enough to be done. Priority on the females, of course, but males if we can’t catch any. We’ll have to catch them the night before and keep them in the isolation shelter for the overnight fast. What we like to do is try to bring them in early enough to treat them with wet cat food, then take the food bowls out once their fast is supposed to start.

I’m still hoping we can get Frank in. She has allowed me to pet her a couple of times, but is extremely nervous about it. Adam has been around, but I haven’t been able to get close to her, and Slick may as well be as feral as Sprout, the way she’s been behaving lately. Then there’s that white and grey that has apparently moved into the cat house for the winter. Can’t get anywhere near her at all.

When doing the evening cat feeding, I was actually able to pick up and snuggle Blot, but she is probable too small. There are a couple of large kittens that I know are female – the calico, Sprig (daughter of Sprout), of course, but also the still unnamed fluffy black and white. There are fluffy tabbies that we just can’t tell, one way or the other. Too much fur, and we can’t get close to any of them.

We’ll bring in three, and that’s all we can be sure of!

So that’s good news.

Meanwhile, I am thinking I should probably call the hospital again and see how my mother is doing.

Honestly, I really don’t want to. You never know, though. She might have completely flipped between this morning and now, and be a different person again. There’s just no way to know, unless I call.

*sigh*

The Re-Farmer

An unexpected (good) sabotage?

January 10, 2026 / Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

Today, I was able to get to my mother’s apartment, then to visit her in the hospital.

I wasn’t sure how that was going to work out, after learning how things went with my brother, last night.

My brother, SIL and their grandson went to visit my mother after my brother had put in a long day at work, driving out in what turned out to be a snow storm. We got a fair bit of snow here, but the closer you get to the lake, the more humidity and the heavier the snow. When they got there, they tried the regular doors to get into the hospital, but they were locked. I don’t even try the regular doors and go through the emergency room doors, but my brother forgets to do that. In the end, they decided he and their grandson would go in, while my SIL stayed with the car. That way, when they were ready to leave, she would drive around to the emergency room doors to pick them up, so they wouldn’t have to walk around the hospital in the storm.

Well, my mother was in “fine” form when they got there. At first, she didn’t really recognize them – I’m sure they were pretty bundled up in winter wear, plus, she wasn’t expecting them. For some reason, she was expecting me, but my brother told her I was coming tomorrow (meaning, today).

Then she started complaining about how late it was (it was still early evening).

When they told her about the poor driving conditions, and that my SIL was waiting in the car, my mother took it as a personal insult, and that my SIL didn’t want to “see her face”. Which is weird, because my mother hates my SIL (while saying she loves her) and has been trying to break up their marriage for years.

Anyhow, when my brother commented on how she went straight to the negative, she doubled down and got worse, so they left.

It was white knuckled driving, all the way home.

Needless to say, I wasn’t really looking forward to my visit today.

Road conditions were… passable, but not very good. It wasn’t snowing anymore, but there was plenty of packed snow on the roads, and blowing snow was starting to create drifts. Still, I’ve driven in far worse.

I got to my mother’s apartment, where I found her mail pushed under her door – a neighbour has been bringing her mail to her door for years. My brother will be getting that redirected to his place, once we know what’s going on with my mother after she leaves the hospital. I made sure to leave the Lifeline pendant with the base, checked her answering machine, etc. There were a few items she asked me to bring, one of which I couldn’t find. Which I was actually okay with, since it was something she meant to use to “educate” the hospital staff about the “history of Canada” that she’d written down. She would be wildly inappropriate about it.

I also grabbed her one live plant to take home, as she asked me to do, then headed over to the hospital. Blowing snow was even worse on that part of the drive.

Once at the hospital, I was able to park at my usual parking lot not far from the emergency room entrance. A few spots down, I noticed and SUV that looked kinda like our vandal’s, but didn’t think too much of it. It’s not an uncommon vehicle or colour.

Once inside, I made a quick dash to use the washroom near the emergency room waiting area (the emergency room was closed) before going to my mother’s. As I was leaving, I saw someone in one of the waiting room chairs, looking away from me, slowly getting up and starting to walk down the hall towards the nursing station.

It was our vandal. He wife was a few feet ahead of him, down the hall.

Our vandal didn’t see me as I passed him, and it’s possible he would not have recognized me from behind, while bundled up in winter wear, but his wife turned and saw me as I passed her. She looked really angry, before she even saw me. I said hello, but she just asked if I was going to see my mother. I said yes, and kept on going. I heard her start talking to our vandal, but didn’t pay too much attention. I knew they wouldn’t go to see my mother while I was there.

My mother seemed surprised to see me, even though my brother had told her I would be coming today. I brought out the things she asked me to bring, then brought out the gift I’d made for her.

She had mentioned using the sleep hat I made for her, using Blanket Yarn, to warm her hands, so I got more Blanket Yarn to make her a double thick muff for her hands in solid grey, then used leftover yarn from her hat to do the edging.

When she saw it, she immediately start making snarky comments about how we keep bringing things for her. I told her, this was so she could keep her hands and her head warm at the same time. She did not approve, though she did make a comment about how, in her younger days, these were very popular, and she had one that was all furry.

She then commented on how this was the same yarn I used to make a “scarf”. I’ve never used this yarn to make a scarf, but it turned out she meant the wheelchair shawl I’d crocheted for her late sister. I told her that no, I used Bamboo Silk to make that shawl, but my mother insisted it was the same yarn.

Then she started happily talking about how, after her sister passed away and my cousin gave the shawl to my mother, my mother had washed it, then “drrrrrrrr drrrrrrr drrrrrrr”, she said, as she mimed undoing the crochet. She said she had such fun doing that! Then she told me she balled the yarn up and gave it to me, then told me again that she made sure to wash it, first, so it was clean. Like somehow that was the most important thing? Or, she thought her sister was really dirty while wearing it?

My tongue was practically bleeding from my trying not to say anything. My mother still can’t understand the problem with her destroying something I’d made as a gift for her sister. No more than she can understand how much she hurt my daughter when we discovered she’d done the same thing with a shawl my then-early-teenaged daughter had made for her, after carefully selecting the yarn and colour, paid for out of her own allowance, and lovingly spending weeks crocheting it.

She mentioned my brother had come to visit, and I said I knew about it. Oh, you talked to him? Yes. Yes I did. She brought up how my SIL stayed in the car rather than come in to see her. I told her, they drove out in a storm, after my brother finished work, and reminded her of why my SIL stayed in the car, and how is it that she couldn’t appreciate that they were able to visit at all? She never even mentioned her great grandson. He may as well not have been there. She brought up how it “wasn’t the first time” my SIL stayed in the car rather than visit my mother. I was biting my tongue on that one, too. When I defended my brother and SIL, she just started crossing herself and changed the subject.

I did mentioned to her about seeing our vandal and his wife on the way over, and that they were unlikely to come visit while I was there, but might come later. I also added that I wasn’t going to stay long, because the roads were bad, plus I had her plant in the truck. She scoffed and said “of course” when I said I couldn’t stay long because of road conditions. Then started talking about how “every time” we say we can’t stay long, she forgets all the things she meant to talk about while we were there. One of the things she asked me to bring was her notebook and writing implements, so I told her that she can now write these things down as she thinks of them, so she won’t forget next time.

We talked a bit about what to do with her things in her apartment. When I told her I couldn’t find her notes and didn’t want to dig through her papers (she has bins and boxes of papers everywhere, most of it junk) to look for it, she was perplexed. Apparently, it should have been in the open and easy to find. That got her to saying how my sister is to take all her papers and pictures, and her clothes. I suggested she could give my sister her key, so she could do that when she’s able, and we don’t have to try coordinating with each other’s schedules. Not until we know officially know what’s going to happen with my mother next, though. She did make a big deal – again – about how we shouldn’t throw anything away, and not to leave things in the common room because the staff throws it out. She is really fixated on that, even though we’ve told her, many times now, that we won’t be leaving anything of hers in the common room for her neighbours.

Then there was a knock at the door and a nurse came in to take her lunch tray. It was the male nurse again. My mother did thank him for taking her tray, but you could tell, she was not happy to see him. After he left, she snarked about “red pants”. My reaction was along the lines of “so??” “On a man!” was her response. Yes, Mom. Men are allowed to wear colours.

She started crossing herself again.

*sigh*

So the entire visit was… okay, but not really a good visit. We quickly ran out of things to talk about – it hasn’t been that long since I’ve visited her last. Then, for someone who complained because I said I couldn’t stay long, she basically said, okay, we’re done. You can leave now.

🙄

Which was fine by me.

My mother is very good at driving people away from her, and making them not want to be around her. She is also oblivious to the fact that her actions are having this effect. The irony of this is, as negative as she gets with my brother and I, if our vandal have visited, I know she would be fawning over him. It’s like, the more abusive she is, the more she tries to cater to him, while being absolutely horrible to my brother, the person who has been helping her the most and has never been anything but kind to her for decades.

*sigh*

As I was leaving, there was no signs of our vandal and his wife, and the vehicle I’m now sure was his was gone, so it looks like they headed home after seeing that I was going to visit my mother. If this was something they were meaning to do after a chemo session, then that makes sense.

So it looks like I sabotaged a visit from them.

Which, under the circumstances, is a good thing.

Before I left, I did remind my mother that, if they came in together, our vandal would probably behave while his wife is around, but if he came in alone, I told her that she can use the help button to call someone, so that she’s not alone with him. We just can’t know, from one day to the next, what he will do.

Unfortunately, I trust my mother about as much as I trust our vandal. Especially after she manipulated my sister and they both lied about it, in regards to our vandal.

*sigh*

Anyhow.

After visiting my mother, I swung by the grocery store to get some hot dog fixings to do a cookout. There were some really good sales on, though, so I ended up getting more. I even got some beef stew meat – something that we can rarely afford to buy, these days. That done, I picked up a bit of gas and headed home. Between the groceries and the plant from my mother’s place, I drove up to the house to unload.

Once I was parked in the garage, I had something to eat, changed, then headed back outside to break out Spewie to clear the driveway. We got just enough snow to make it harder to drive around the yard, and I almost got stuck at the end of the driveway by the road.

In the end, I was physically able to only clear the area in front of the garage and a bit towards the people gate in the chain link fence. Not quite all the way, as I was using only one 100′ extension cord and didn’t want to add another. It was getting too painful after a while, so I had to call it a day before I was done. Tomorrow, I’ll have to head back out and start adding extension cords and doing the rest of the driveway to the road.

Before I went into the house, though, I did shovel the sidewalk and the cat paths, at least, before feeding the outside cats for the evening. The current forecast is now saying highs of -2C/28F over the next two days, then a high of +2C/36F on Tuesday. I want to clear as much as I can over the next couple of days, so that the paths and driveway have a chance to melt at least somewhat clear.

Somewhere in there, we should be able to get the fire pit going again and have ourselves a wiener roast! I’m quite looking forward to that.

As for today, I think the one thing that I would consider my top accomplishment was the inadvertent sabotaging of our vandal visiting my other. It still irritates me that she got him involved again, when we’ve been trying so hard to protect her from him. In her case, there’s a lot of self sabotage. She is often her own worst enemy, and I just don’t know what we can do about it.

*sigh*

The Re-Farmer

A hospital visit, and progress outside

January 7, 2026 / Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

But first, the cuteness!

I got this picture of Colby as I was going back inside for the day. I so want to snuggle this fluffball! We’ve had no progress in socialization. *sigh*

Today, I needed to go into town to pick up a prescription so, of course, I did as many other things as I could think of while I was there.

The first thing to do was visit my mother in the hospital.

It was a short visit. She started to go off on things again, and I called her out on it. Her response, as usual, it to verbally attack me for being such a terrible person, projecting invented motivations for while I don’t agree with her. She did change tactics when I simply got up and started to leave, though, and I did stay a bit longer.

It was a very productive visit, though. I remembered to grab the pendant for her Lifeline. I explained to her that her account is on hold right now, which means she’s being charged at a 60% discount. She was already upset that she was paying anything for the service in the first place, when she “wasn’t using it” (she was, but that’s another issue), so of course, she didn’t like that. I told her that once the account is closed, they will have to come over to get their machine and the pendant – and she had the pendant with her!

Not anymore. I’ll take it to her place as soon as I have a chance to check on her apartment again.

That got us to talking about what she wanted us to do with her stuff, should she be placed… somewhere. I suspect, not a nursing home, but more likely assisted living or supportive living. She wants my sister to take some things, which I think they’ve already talked about. My mother was a bit upset that my sister wanted to keep a print of Mona Lisa that my mother was thinking of donating to a local museum.

I don’t think a museum would want it. It has zero historical value. My mother just really likes it. I got a different story about how we got it, though. Previously, I was told it, and another framed print, were found in the attic of this house when my parents bought it, back in 1964 or so. Recently, though, my mother told me she’d bought the print herself and had someone local frame it. If the first story were true, then the print and frame would very well be almost 100 years old. If the second story is true, it’s about 50-60 years old.

The reason she isn’t sure she wants my sister to take it is, she has no children, and what’s going to happen to it when she gets to be my mother’s age and needs to pass it on?

Yup. My mother wants to control what happens to it for multiple generations.

I asked her, why is she so worried about material things like that? If my sister wants it, let her have it! These are her treasures, she told me. I reminded her that the Bible says our treasures are in heaven. She choked on that a bit, then told me how glad she was that I know the Bible so well, but there’s just one problem. I need to go to church!

*sigh*

The thing is, even when we were going to church regularly, before moving out here, it wasn’t good enough, anyhow. It wasn’t the “right kind” of church. In the end, it isn’t about going to church at all, but about control, and I’m not the marshmallow I used to be. She doesn’t like that.

Still, we did manage to have an okay visit, before I headed to the pharmacy. After that, I decided to go to the dollar store (we have just the one) to look for blanket yarn. My mother is happy with the sleep hat I made for her, then mentioned she sometimes uses it to keep her hands warm, so I will make her a muff for her hands. I couldn’t find the same variegated yarn I used for her hat, but I did find a solid grey that is the same as one of the greys in her hat. I have just a bit of the variegated yarn left that I should be able to use as an accent.

From there, I made a quick stop at the grocery store for something my husband requested. They didn’t have it, so I found a substitute, then got a couple more things, just to add to our supple. We’re still planning to do a cookout soon, and the only thing we’re running low on that I want to use for that is potatoes.

After that, there was one last stop for gas. *sigh* The prices just jumped from $1.109/L to $1.229/L

Once at home, I updated my brother on how things went with my mother, had some lunch, then headed back outside.

The first thing I wanted to work on was the fire pit. I had a cover on it, piled with snow, but more snow managed to get under it, too. I made sure to clean up the paths to the food pile and the branch pile, first, then did as much as I could with the fire pit. We’ve been putting small branches, pieces of bark and such, into it during the summer, expecting to be able to burn them in a cookout, but we never got to use it all summer. Even after the fire bans ended, it was usually too windy to even consider it.

After getting a pork roast out of the freezer, I was thinking of cooking in the fire pit tomorrow, but after talking about it with my daughters, we decided to wait another day. Which turned out to be a good thing. After clearing the snow and bits of wood out of the fire pit, I found it too frozen to clear ashes away from the fire bricks I have on one side. They are there to put the Dutch oven on, so the legs don’t sink into the ground or ashes below. So I cleared as much as I could, then left it uncovered. Tomorrow is supposed to be another mild day, and the dark snow/ashes will melt faster in the sun that way. I should be able to clear the fire bricks by late afternoon.

I did swing the grill back over the fire pit after taking the picture, though. The stacks in the background of the picture are what I cleared out of the pit.

That done, it was late enough to pause and feed the outside cats, but early enough to do more shoveling. You can see the final result in the next two pictures of the above slide snow.

Yes, I was able to clear a path all the way to the sign cam! I really thought it would have to be split between a couple of days, but the snow turned out to be less packed than I expected.

I really do enjoy shoveling snow! I’ll probably pay for it tomorrow, but gosh, it felt good.

Getting the path cleared meant I could finally switch out the trail cam memory card. It should be interesting to see how many files are on the card. The solar panel on the camera was covered in snow when I got to it, but the batteries were at 91%. I do expect there to be gaps over the days when we got that deep freeze, as the batteries would have gotten too cold to power anything. Still, it’s been over a month. I’m almost dreading to see how many files there are! It’s going to take a while to go through them.

Meanwhile, my awesome daughter has been diligently working on hemming the overalls she got for me, and finished soon after I was back inside. Of course, I had to try them on right away, and they are exactly the length I wanted – a touch on the long side, since they’ll be worn over boots. They’re so comfortable, I kept them on. The fabric is pretty stiff, so the more they are worn, the faster it will soften. They will be prefect for when I head back outside tomorrow to finish clearing the fire pit.

Oh, I do wish I had a way to record things easily while I was shoveling. The yard cats are really loving the warmer weather and running around like kittens. They were also loving the paths I was clearing, and the new one I dug out, running and jumping, following me around, chasing each other, and just having a grand old time! We’re still expected to have mild weather for the next week to 10 days, if not the above freezing high they were predicting for this coming Monday. That has been pushed back another week, and then the high of the day is supposed to drop by over 20° and stay frigid for about a week! Considering how much the predictions have been fluctuating, though, who knows what will actually happen. For now, though, the cats are greatly appreciating the warmer temperatures – and so am I!

What I need to figure out, though, is what I will be doing for starting seeds this year. I should be starting bulb onions right now. We still need to move the aquarium greenhouses to be basement, but have no idea how we can get the big one down the stairs and around the corner at the bottom, without breaking anything. Getting the aquariums and the shelf the big one rests on is becoming more important, since we will likely be bringing my mother’s couch in. Actually, we still have the couch. She took the matching love seat to her apartment when she moved off the farm. It’s small enough that it should fit right where the big aquarium is set up right now.

Starting the onion seeds, though, probably shouldn’t wait until we figure all that out. This year, I’m thinking to try doing them in a “snail” roll, to make it easier to separate them when it’s time to transplant in the spring. That should be small enough that they can be set up in the living room to germinate.

We’ll figure it out!

All in good time.

The Re-Farmer

The Re-Farmer

Sometimes, you need to go back, to go forward.

healthcare

So frustrated! An update

So glad I got it checked! A double update

Yesterday

Isolated, and updates

Got it done. Plus an update

How it went

Blinding! Plus and update

What a way to start the day

An unexpected (good) sabotage?

A hospital visit, and progress outside

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