Toni and Ginger, our two tripods, snuggling while they nap.
On my very cat fur covered bed.
So the first thing I got today was a message from my brother, updating on the situation with our mother. He had called the main office and it was confirmed my mother would be transferred to the temporary long term care centre in the town her apartment was in. They still had to get things ready for her at the other end, and then arrange transportation. They couldn’t say when it would happen, but they wanted to get it done as soon as possible.
Almost immediately after, I got a text from my sister (who doesn’t really do Messenger anymore).
My mother had just phoned her, convinced that if we just talk to the right people, they would get her out of where she is. My sister talked to the nurse and they said they had told my mother, repeatedly, that they don’t know when she would be transferred.
I’m not sure what my mother is thinking is going on. Perhaps she’s interpreting it as not happening soon. Or not happening at all. It’s hard to say, as she tends to twist things around pretty severely, once she gets a conclusion in her mind.
In the middled of that flurry of messages, I got a message from the cat rescue, asking when I was expecting to go to the city next. I responded saying I didn’t know, since I currently have no transportation and don’t know when I’d be getting it back. Otherwise, it would have been tomorrow and Friday.
It turns out they have dry kibble for us! I was incredibly grateful to hear that. Especially with how much we’ve been having to spend on the truck for the past while, and now with an unknown hanging over us. I spent some time on that group cat, too. If we don’t get the truck back soon, one of them volunteered to drive the kibble out to us. !!! They are so awesome!
Then later one – while I was cooking and couldn’t stop what I was doing, of course – I got a phone call. It was from the TCU, so I called them back as soon as my hands were free and clean.
The TCU nurse started off by telling my my mother accepted the bed in the other location.
…
I’m not sure why that was still an issue, after all the calls between us all that were done yesterday. They only needed to arrange transportation. She had already called my brother and left a message.
Would I be able to transport her.
????
I said no, I have no transportation. My brother is at work and my sister would be on the way to work. We thought they would arrange the transportation.
Oh, we always ask the family first, as there would be no charge. If they do it, there would be a charge for it.
???
I told her that if there is, my brother, as PoA would be the one to pass that information on to, and told her I would message him and update him.
This perplexed me because, when my brother talked to him, I was sure he told me they’d said they would take care of the transportation, because they were the ones doing the transfer. Much like when my mother first went to the hospital by ambulance, she got a bill for it, but when they used an ambulance to transfer her to the TCU, she did not get a bill for it, because it was their responsibility.
I messaged my brother and it wasn’t much longer before I got word back. He had called them back and was told our mother would be transferred later this afternoon (she might be on the road now, as I write this) and they are arranging a taxi van, so they could fit everything. This would include not only her personal affects, but her walker and wheelchair, so that makes sense.
He also confirmed that he had been told previously that there would be no charge for the transfer, but when he called back today, it never came up. He said he would deal with that later. For now, we just need to have her moved!
So the first, and only, time any of us heard about being charged for transportation was when the TCU contacted me earlier today.
Between all of this, I found myself spending most of the day on the computer, messaging back and forth with two very different groups of people – plus texting with my sister and on the phone with TCU.
As the afternoon progressed, without hearing from the garage, I sent them a text asking about the truck. I mentioned that I’d looked up the part, just to see what it looked like, and saw the prices. I let them know that if it needed to be replaced, we simply can’t afford it. Hopefully, it will be something more minor!
A response came in while I was outside, doing the evening outside cat feeding. It was very apologetic. They weren’t even able to drag the truck into the garage at all today. They will look at it tomorrow.
I can’t say that wasn’t unexpected. I knew they could only look at it, in between appointments, and once a lift would be free for at least a couple of hours. They have three lifts, but each one is different and used for different purposes, depending on what they need to be able to access. One of them can only fit small cars.
So, one more day with the Sword of Damocles hanging over our heads.
On a completely different note, when I finished putting food and warm water out for the outside cats, I went into the old kitchen and discovered Bug on top of chest freezer! She snuck in while I was going out and I never saw her.
Unfortunately, she was nervous and spooked. Usually, I can at least pet her and sometimes pick her up, but this time, she ran off and hid.
She’s still there.
I’ve set out food, water and a squeeze treat, squeezed out onto a container, to lure her out. It’s way too cold in there for such a tiny cat (the old kitchen is unheated and seems to have no insulation at all – it wasn’t needed when it was an active kitchen and the wood cookstove was always in use!) so I set up a carrier that needs some work done on it, wrapped in a blanket, on top of the freezer with another smaller blanket inside. I’ve checked a few times and saw her snuffling around the middle of the floor, but she ran off as soon as she heard me turn the door knob. I found the container that has squeeze treat on it stuck against the door, licked clean, so I know she’d gone onto the freezer again and knocked it off while eating the treat. Hopefully, she will come back out again, soon!
Really hoping I can snag her and set her back in the sun room, where she has access to the heat lamps and warm bodies to snuggle with.
I’m also hoping my mother will soon me in her new temporary long term care unit. She’s familiar with this place, as she has visited friends there before, and I think it will be a much better situation for her.
Now, if we could just have some good news on the truck and have that back soon. I’ll finally be able to visit her, as well as do a whole lot of driving around that’s needed! Which included picking up what is likely a build up of parcels at the post office. My West Coast Seeds order has been in for almost a week, now!
Ah, well. It’ll all work out.
Oh! My husband just informed me that Bug is in the cave I created for her! Now, if I can just get into there without her running and hiding again…
The work was done by noon. Once I was informed, I messaged my SIL to let her know. Then I suggested we got for (a rather late) lunch after picking up the truck. It took her about an hour to get to our place. Today has been technically warmer, but the wind from the south was brutal, so I asked her to let me know when she was close so I could meet her at the gate.
When we got there, I went in to pay. I talked to the owner a bit, particularly since they had just replaced a seal to stop the leak on a Thursday, and the truck broke down on the following Sunday. The problem is, where the damage was done is all internal. The replaced the seals and put in new fluid, but there was no way to actually see. Again, it’s best guess, but those oil leaks I had were leaking all over the differential, so that’s why they figure engine oil got in, and it just wasn’t caught in time. It was totally tried.
I paid the bill…
… and commented on the credit card smoking, but then added that it really was a good price, and I appreciated that they were able to keep it down for me. He said new ones can run around $2000. I told him I’d looked it up, because I didn’t even know what a differential looked like, and the lowest price I saw was in the $1200 range. So… yeah. This really was a good deal.
I also brought up that if we could just keep it running for a few more months, then told him about my BILs F150 that he was looking to sell in the summer. The owner just shook his head and said, he would never buy a Ford product. Of all the vehicles they work on, they work on Ford vehicles the most. Interestingly, my brother – who owns an old F150 – had also warned against it.
I told the owner, I have a hard time seeing it as being worse than what we are dealing with now! I made a point of saying, there was no way to predict the sorts of problems we’ve been having , but we just can’t keep this up. He absolutely agreed. I think he feels bad, since he sold it to us. It was absolutely a life saver, and I do love the truck, but good grief.
Anyhow.
With the bill paid, it was time to head out for lunch. My SIL and I were at first going to hit the Chinese restaurant in the hotel right next to the garage.
One thing I noticed right away when we parked at the hotel is that the broken plastic under the bumper was fixed! The mechanic and bolted it directly to the frame. It’s more solid there now than the rest of the piece. 😁
We went in and it turned out the restaurant was closed. They won’t open again until late March. I forgot that they do this every year. So we drove through town to go to a Subway.
Now, I was fully expecting the truck to feel different after the work done, but… what was I feeling? It was just a few blocks before I parked, so I really couldn’t tell what I was feeling. Anyhow. We had a wonderful lunch and got caught up in all sorts of things.
I really enjoy spending time with my SIL. She’s just awesome.
That done, we parted ways. I was going to go to the grocery store, then home.
The grocery store I was going to is across the street from the garage. As I was driving along, with stop sign after stop sign, everything felt wrong. There was a strange hesitation/jarring, and there was an odd noise.
Instead of going to the grocery store, I went back to the garage. I quickly messaged my family and my SIL, then went in.
My SIL told me she was still in town and to let her to keep her up to date. The owner was talking to a customer when I came in, so I just kept out of the way until he was done.
Needless to say, he was surprised to see me.
I asked him if he could drive the truck, and told him what I was feeling and hearing. He was very perplexed, partly because it was really hard to describe. He contacted the mechanic that worked on the truck. He wasn’t in the shop at the time, so there was a few minutes wait. When he got there, I gave him the keys and told him to do the driving, and tried to describe what I was feeling. He was very perplexed.
Once in the truck, I remembered to thank him for fixing the broken plastic piece under the bumper that was hanging down. He said it was no problem at all!
We headed out and he turned onto the highway that runs through town, so there would be no stop signs. The half block to the intersection, there was a noise, and he asked if that was it. I said yes, then added that I did consider that the noise might be from the ice and snow, but ruled it out.
Once on the highway and starting to accelerate, it started up again. There was no mistaking it. It was even stronger than when I’d been driving it from the Subway. He immediately took the next driveway into a large parking lot – barely a block later. Once there, he tried something. The truck can be set to 2 wheel drive, 4 wheel drive front, 4 wheel drive back, or auto. I keep it on auto in the winter. He set it to 2 wheel drive, then started driving again.
Everything was gone. It was driving fine.
He’d started driving through a residential area and tried something else, pulling over and switching it to 4 wheel drive.
It was back, and even worse.
He told me he wanted to take a look at the transfer case. I told him, my ride is still in town and suggested they keep the truck overnight. He asked if I could hang around for a couple of hours. He wanted to spend the time to really look into what was happening. Then we both looked at the clock. It was well past 3, and they close at 5. No point in hanging around town. He asked if I was comfortable driving home on 2 wheel drive only. I told him, I wasn’t comfortable driving it at all!
So he parked the truck at the garage and went in with the keys to talk to the owner. I messaged my SIL, asking if she could meet me at the grocery store, then grabbed a couple of bags from the truck and walked across the street.
I am so glad I decided to wear those bib overalls my daughter got me. They do such a great job with blocking the wind. My legs were fine, by my hands and face were getting blasted with icy wind, and I only had to walk maybe 200 feet!
Once there, I went ahead and got more than was on my short list. I couldn’t be sure we’d have the truck back by Wednesday, when I would normally doing my first stock up shop for next month. My SIL and I soon connected again. As it was getting so late, she was picking things up for their own supper, since she wouldn’t have time to make supper when she got home.
Once we were done and heading for the checkouts, I was very happy to see they had gone back to the single line system! When they got rid of it, I commented on it to the cashier, and she quietly asked me to call management and let them know. The cashiers preferred the single line system, too. I ended up emailing the company, but I have also been answering the surveys on the receipts, where you can be entered for a $500 gift card for answering it. At the end of the survey, they have a space where you can make your own comments, and every time I did, I asked for the single line system to be returned. It’s just more efficient. I’m guessing I was far from the only one to ask for it!
We got through the line very quickly. When I got to the cashier, I made sure to tell him how happy I was to see the single line system back. He said they were really happy with it, too, as it makes things easier for the cashiers as well.
That done, it was off to my SILs car and she drove me home.
As I got my phone out to let the family know we were on the way, I found a message from my husband.
My mother had tried phoning me. She left a message, but it was quite garbled, and it sounded like they (the care unit people) were going to move her.
To the town she lived in before going to the hospital.
???
This was quite a surprise to us, mostly because we would have expected them to call my brother, as her PoA, right away. So my SIL phoned my brother – her car has the computer and she can do that all hands free. He was stuck in traffic on his way home from work. I read the message from my husband to him. I said I would call my mother back as soon as I got home, and talk to the nursing station first. My brother was going to call the nursing station as soon as he could, too.
My SIL got me home and then had to leave right away, she needed to get home. She couldn’t say if she could give me a ride again, as she has her own medical appointments, but I don’t even know when the truck will be ready or anything like that.
I got through to the nursing station before my brother did. I told her I had a rather garbled message about my mother being moved to another town. She told me, no, not today.
!!!
She put me on hold to get more details, then explained it to me. The care unit coordinator had offered my mother a bed. There is temporary long term care in the hospital of the town my mother lived in. They wanted to be sure my mother (and the rest of us) were good with this. I told her, this is where she used to live. She knows people there, she knows the town. (She has even visited friends that were in the temporary long term care unit she’ll be moved to.) This would be good for her, even though it’s still not where she wants to be. So there is a process that needs to be gone through, and they will likely call us about it tomorrow. I told her, she will probably be getting a call from my brother, who is PoA, soon, then asked to be transferred to my mother.
My mother was very happy to hear from me. When I asked about the move, she asked if I thought she should take the offered bed (I found out later, she had already accepted it). I told her yes!! It’s not where she wants to be, but it’s got to be better than where she is now. My mother agreed and started telling me she had lots to say about what’s been happening when I visit.
I had to tell her that I don’t have the truck because something else happened, and they need to try and find the cause, so it’s still in the shop. I have no idea when I can visit next – then went back to saying, the move would be a good thing.
I got the impression that something has happened (she just got moved away from the problem room mate!) that she didn’t feel she could talk openly about.
I was at my computer as we were talking as saw a message come in from my brother. He had talked to the nursing station and tried to call me, but the line was busy. 😂 I let him know I was talking to our mother, then told her that my brother was messaging me about having talked to the nursing station. She was all happy that we’ve all been making these calls and trying to figure things out.
We spoke for a short while longer. As we got off the phone, she was sounding very excited about this move. I let my brother know I was off the phone and he called me.
We basically had the same details – he also told them he approved of the move – and that our mother had already accepted it – then called the coordinator about it. Her office was closed by then, so he left a message which included him saying that he also approved of the move.
Hopefully, by the time I get the truck back, my mother will no longer be in that TCU and in a better situation!!
One thing my SIL mentioned during the drive home is how glad they were for me, that my mother was no longer living on her own and getting unreliable home care. With the problems we’ve been having with the truck, plus the weather we’ve been having, it would have been a real problem if they wanted me to cover for not having home care workers available for my mother. I told her, I simply could not have done it. As much as my mother is chafing about it, it’s been the best thing for her to be in the hospital, and now in the TCU, all this time.
So, there was are. I’m home, but still don’t have a truck. The mechanic did comment, as we were driving back to the garage, that it was a good thing I came right back. I’m so glad my SIL and I went out for lunch, first! If we hadn’t done that, I would have just gone across the street to the grocery store, then headed home. It would have started having issues while I was out on the open road, where turning around to go back would have been more difficult, and my SIL would likely have well on her own way home. All the pieces fell into place in the best way possible.
And now my mother should soon be transferred to better living conditions.
Fluffer peeking through the bathroom window while enjoying any warmth coming through the screen.
In other things…
I called up my mother this evening. It ended up being a very challenging conversation. When I asked how she was doing, she switched to Polish and starting talking about the “Indianka” (Indian person) and her bed. At first I thought she was complaining about one of the staff somehow mistreating my mother while changing her bedding. She kept using Polish words I was unfamiliar with. I did figure out that the person she was talking about was in the room with her – and it was strange that staff would be fussing with her bed past 7:30pm.
After asking questions about just what the problem was, I eventually figured out that she was talking about her room mate. It seems this woman has been telling my mother to go away, and that my mother’s bed is her bed. There seems to be more as well, but my mother was having difficulty explaining to me. Once I figured it out, I said that this is something we need to talk to the nursing staff about. My mother said she’s already talked to them and they say there’s nothing they can do.
This is obviously an issue of someone with dementia. My mother has increased cognitive decline, but nothing like this. She said she told the nursing staff the people like her room mate should share a room with other people like her, while people like my mother should be sharing a room with someone more like her – this is in reference to levels of dementia. The problem with that is, there might not actually be someone there at her cognitive level. At least not another woman that she could share a room with.
Earlier in the conversation, while she was still speaking in English, my mother asked me if I knew about someone that had passed away recently. This person was part of a family that are “neighbours” out here, but I only know two of them – one of them was my elementary school teacher until 3rd grade, in the one classroom school our little hamlet used to have. Grades K-3 were all in that one classroom. It turned out that the person who passed was their mother. After getting a bit of a lecture about how I don’t know what’s going on, I pointed out to my mother that I’ve been stuck at home because the truck is in the shop; if I’m going to hear anything, it’ll only be if someone I know posts it on Facebook.
The truck reminded her to ask me when I’d be visiting her next. I explained to her the current timeline, and that it should be done on Monday. So am I visiting her on Monday? I said no, that’s when the truck is supposed to be done. I still don’t know how I’m going to get it. If anything, I’d be visiting on Tuesday.
When the conversation shifted to Polish and I managed to figure out she was trying to explain to me about her room mate, who was in the room with her while she was talking to me, she started talking about getting into the nursing home. It turns out the neighbour who passed away was in the nursing home she wants to go to. Which means a bed is now open.
…
We have explained to her that priority goes to people who are in the worst shape, but this was not the time to bring it up again.
As she continued to speak in Polish, she starting saying that my brother and I should go to the nursing home and explain my mother’s situation to them, and tell them she will pay them lots of money, every month, if they would just let her in.
So… she wants to bribe the nursing home staff.
I tried to explain to her again, that the nursing home staff have no control over it. It’s up to the government. The health department makes those decisions, not the nursing home.
I don’t know if she can’t understand this, or won’t. She is convinced that if we just ask and offer them money (she would be paying “rent” anyhow, so I don’t know what she’s thinking on that), they will let her live there.
I told her my brother had already contacted them and they confirmed this, but she kept on as if I never said a thing.
In other things, she mentioned my sister had visited. I told her I knew, and that she’s brought my mother the pickle juice she was craving. My mother was so happy about that. I think she just drinks a spoonful every now and then, but I honestly am not sure! I asked her how the food was, and she told me it wasn’t as good as at the hospital. Not bad, but not good, either. 😞
She went back to talking in Polish and saying she wanted to be out of there. Then began lamenting about how, in her old age, she now has no home of her own, no bed of her own. I told her, it won’t be any different in a nursing home, other than she’d have a room to herself. Oh, but at least she would be among her own people! She would be around Christians.
…
She still thinks the nursing home is run by the same people who ran it when she applied for a job there, 50 or so years ago.
Then she started telling me how she is afraid to sleep at night because of her room mate, and she doesn’t know what she might do. I don’t know what to make of that. One the one hand, if her room mate’s dementia is far gone enough, that could be a real risk. On the other, at one point of trying to figure out what the problem was, and my mother not being able to answer me (I still thought she was talking about a staff member at this point), I asked outright, is it because she is Indian? My mother answered, yes. So she might be fearing this woman because of her race. Or, more likely, it’s a combination of both.
Either way, my mother is not in a good situation, and there’s really nothing we can do about it. She’s in the system, and the system decides. My mother, however, insists that if we just talk to the right people, explaining her situation, and are bold about it, that system will be ignored and she would get to jump the que to get to the nursing home she wants to be in.
I’m really not impressed with this transitional care unit. I don’t have concerns with the staff or the measures they have to take. It really has more to do with the fact that they’ve got so many people in various states of cognitive decline, waiting to get into someplace else, in such a tight space and sharing rooms. This building is a converted hospital, but the TCU is only a small part of it. Too small.
I completely understand my mother’s feeling about wanting to get out, that’s for sure. Hopefully, she will get into a nursing home – even if it’s not the one she wants to be in, right away – soon.
Thankfully, my brother and SIL are back and they will be able to visit with her tomorrow. She will be very happy to see them. I suggested they might see about finding a private space they can wheel her to for the visit. There must be a common room or family room available. Somewhere that she can speak freely with them. I’ve already updated them on what my mother told me. Hopefully, they will be able to get more information from her, and will be able to talk to someone about it.
I honestly don’t know what we can do to make things better for her. She simply isn’t far gone enough for the system go consider her a priority when beds open up.
Normally, he runs away, even if I come closer while he is easing, but today I managed to skritch his shoulders and neck. Not only did he not run away, but he even leaned into my hand!
Once he was away from the food bowls, though, that was it. I couldn’t get near him anymore.
You may notice his fur is decorated in the above picture. He has hoar frost raining down on him from the rose bush above him. We had thick fog roll in last night, and it was still very much there this morning.
The first item on the outings list today was to drop the truck off at the garage to get that differential leak fixed. My daughter and I headed out early, which was good, because we had to take it pretty slow in places. The closer we got to town – and the lake beyond it – the thicker the fog got. Still, we arrived over half an hour early for the drop off time. Which was okay, since I only needed to leave the key. While doing that, I let him know that, after moving the truck, I did see signs of fluid under it – it was definitely a very small leak, but still needs fixing! I also let him know that the check engine light had turned off on its own, and that the oil pressure gauge is where it should be, thanks to the last fix done.
From there, my daughter and I walked to the hospital. My sister had visited my mother in the transitional care unit (TCU), which is very close to where she lives, yesterday and let me know that some clothing items that had gone into the laundry were forgotten. While I asked about that, I also asked about the photo of our vandal. They had to contact someone that could pull my mother’s file to find out. While waiting for that, the person that checked housekeeping came back and there was no sign of anything that was my mother’s. Housekeeping may not have been done with it. We went to where we could meet the guy about the files. Sure enough, the photos were still in the file, in the large envelope my brother brought them in.
After explaining about the photos, and mentioning that we were going to be seeing my mother today, he gave me the envelope to take with us and deliver to the nursing station at the TCU. Then we went back to the nursing station about the clothing items. They would look into it some more, and got my contact information to call me later.
Since I had the photos, my daughter and I first walked back to the garage so we could leave it in the truck. It was still parked outside, so I put it in the basket of my mother’s walker, which was in the back of the truck cab. The wheelchair had to go into the box.
That dropped off, my daughter and I headed out to find somewhere we could have breakfast, and take our time about it.
Using the button to cross the highway wasn’t going to be an option! It’s only for an audible notification that the walk light was on, though.
There aren’t a lot of restaurants open that early in the day in this town, so our options were limited. The place we went to was at the other end of town (okay, that’s just 6 blocks or so. 😄). We were both quite famished by then! We both ended up ordering the largest breakfast platters they had. I’m glad we did, because that ended up having to last us until supper!
We took our time about it, but we were still waiting on a 2 hour job, so it wasn’t that long before we headed out.
[Edit: I forgot to mention. While we were having breakfast, the hospital called me about my mother’s missing clothing. They couldn’t find them, nor did they expect to find them. Most of the laundry goes to the city for washing. My mother’s items were not labelled with her name. The folks sorting through in the city wouldn’t know where they would have to go, and they would probably not even made it back to town!]
Since we were so close to the lake, we popped over to see how it looked.
The fog was still pretty heavy. What you can just barely see in the photo is an ice fishing village, and an ice road leading to it.
From there, we stopped at a general store that my daughter wanted to go to. They are the only place that carries a particular brand of imported wool yarn. She’s bought some before and used them to knit herself a pair of socks. They turned out to be the best pair of socks she’s ever had, and actually keep her feet dry. She got herself enough yarn to knit herself two more pairs!
When we were done there, we crossed the street to check out the dollar store. There wasn’t anything we actually needed there, but I like to keep an eye out for some things.
We never finished going through the store before I got a text from the garage. The truck was done! Somewhat faster than I expected, but they must have been able to get it in almost right after we dropped off the envelope from the hospital. So we quickly picked up a couple of energy drinks for the road and made the walk back.
Unfortunately, by this time, my daughter and I were both limping pretty badly! My daughter hurt her leg getting her old computer chair down the stairs not long ago, and had been caning it for the past few days. She was feeling better today, but after the walking we’d already done, to and from the hospital, then across town, she was actually having a harder time than I was with my left hip giving out. What a sight we must have been!
Once we got to the garage and saw the truck parked in the lot, my daughter went straight to it to sit down while I went in to take care of the bill. $280 and change. *sigh* Still, better to get the leak fixed than push our luck with it!
From there, we were going to the nearer city, to see my mother. Normally, I would have popped over to another highway, rather than go straight from town, so as to avoid driving through several small lakeside towns. In the end, I decided the extra miles weren’t worth it, and we headed straight out.
I’m glad we did.
We made our way through the row of towns and had just reached an area of open highway when my daughter started feeling sick. Eating does that do her. Just, general eating. She’s never been able to pin down exactly what is making her ill. It did mean we had to find a gas station urgently! If we had been on the other highway, there would have been nothing available. On this route, there actually is a single gas station along the way. Thankfully, we made it.
We didn’t need to get any gas, but I did want to “pay” for our use of the bathroom, so I went looking for some snacks. The convenience store with this particular gas station is more like a smallish grocery store, and very well stocked! They even had a large display of baked goods from a bakery in the town north of us that is really well known. People from the city go out of their way to get their bread. I ended up getting a couple of Whoopie Pies for us (not that my daughter would be up to eating anything again for some time!). I had mine while waiting for my daughter to join me in the truck again. I’ve had Whoopie Pies before, and they’re usually rather dry and fairly hard. The cake portions were so incredibly soft and fresh, I had a hard time unwrapping it without crushing or tearing it! It was absolutely awesome.
From there, we continued on to visit my mother. I knew the TCU was in the “old hospital”, and I’ve driven past it many times.
I was wrong.
When we got to the area, the first problem was finding a way to get in. There were a number of buildings but, as we read the signage, going from one area to another, we couldn’t find anything. We did find that one of the buildings is a mental health hospital. My mother actually spent some time there, years before I was born. She still speaks highly of how pleasant her stay was, and how well they took care of her.
In the end, I found a plowed out space I could pull over and tried looking up the address for this unit. I found their web page – but there was no address! My brother did send me a phone number, though – not the same one that was on the web page! – so I tried that.
It took a bit to try and describe where we were to the person who answered before she could give us directions.
We had driven right past the place. I had no idea that that complex was the old hospital, not where I had always thought it was at!
Then we had to try and find the right door to go in.
I drove around in circled and back tracked before we finally decided to park near the entrance to what turned out to be an urgent care clinic. Only then did we pass the sign for the TCU.
It had been blocked by a truck. An 18 wheeler, unloading a semi size trailer box. Completely blocking the lane to where the TCU entrance was.
We got the wheelchair and walker out (with my daughter making sure to grab a cane for herself, too), but when we got to the urgent care clinic, I left my daughter with them to ask someone inside. She was able to give me directions on how to get to the unit through the building, rather than having to go outside and find away around the truck blocking the lane. So I got my daughter, the wheelchair and walker, and we made our way through what turned out to be “authorized personnel only” areas before finally reaching the elevator she told us to look for. It was one of those elevators with doors on each side, and we were going through the staff door to use it!
Finally, we got to the second floor and found signs leading us to the TCU.
The doors, however, are locked. Visitors are to push a button for someone to come and let us in.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, we could hear the voice of an elderly man yelling for someone to let him out. Before a staff member opened a different door next to the entry doors, we could hear him pushing and bashing at the door, trying to get out! When the staff member came (there were more people waiting with us to get in by then), and I told her who we were coming to see, she let us in through the staff door! As we made our way around, another staff member opened up a mobile barrier for us to go through. As we came around, we saw the guy we had heard through the door. He was still at the main doors, pushing a walker, and looking very furious about not being able to get out.
There’s a reason these places have lock codes to get in and out!
Once at the nursing station, I brought out the envelope with the photos. I explained to them that my mother doesn’t know that we’re giving these photos, because that would cause issues. Notes were taken as I explained about our vandal’s past abusive behavior towards my mother. They asked if there was a protection order, and I explained that the courts required my mother do that herself, and there’s no way she can physically do that, but her cognitive decline isn’t so far that my brother can do it on her behalf, as her PoA. They completely understood that frustration! I did mention that I’d had to get one against him myself. Then I had to explain why my sister’s picture was in there. They recognized her as having visited yesterday. I explained that, in general, she’s fine, but our vandal has been able to manipulate her into doing things in the past, that she is not understanding my mother’s cognitive issues and resulting self sabotage, and just goes along with things when she shouldn’t. My mother has been able to manipulate her as well.
I so hate having to include my sister as someone that needs to be kept an eye on while visiting my mother!
The likelihood of our vandal showing up is low, but they do have cancer care in the new hospital near by and, from the signs, they have cancer care in this building, too, so it’s possible he might be coming out for treatment and go visit my mother. We’re just assuming my sister is going to tell him where my mother is, and there’s no point in asking her not to tell him that. Not after she went ahead and did it anyhow, before, because my mother convinced her to. She simply doesn’t understand – or doesn’t want to believe – how potentially harmful to my mother that was.
*sigh*
That done, we found out which room my mother was in and headed over with the wheelchair and walker, while they printed out labels to put on them to show that these belonged to my mother.
It’s definitely a step down from where my mother was, in the hospital!
She went from a large, single person room, so a smaller room she shares with someone else. My mother’s bed is by the door, though, so we didn’t have to disturb the other person. She was quite happy to see us – and her own walker and wheelchair! The wheelchair she refused to even sit in, when I brought it over to her place, months ago. 😄
All in all, we had a good visit with her. She’s not really liking the TCU. Lots of noise, she says. Her room mate apparently was walking around all night, then sleeps through the day. Hopefully, my mother won’t be there for long, but every other person in this unit is waiting to be moved somewhere more permanent!
The staff there seem really nice, though, and were already telling me how sweet they found my mother to be. Nice to know she’s on good behaviour! She’ll have her moments, of course, but in a unit like this, that’s something they deal with – and worse – pretty regularly.
I did remind my mother that we are now the ones living the furthest from her, and we don’t go to this city very often, comparatively speaking, so we won’t be visiting as often. She mentioned that my sister lives nearby. I don’t know if that means she’ll visit more often, but we’ll see. Still, if the staff need anything from us, my brother is the first they would call, as PoA, I would be the second, as the one that’s been my mother’s advocate at her medical appointments for the past 7 years. If they can’t reach either of us, then they would call my sister. She asked about when my brother might visit, but he’s out of the country right now. He still manages to keep on top of everything, though!
[Edit: Something else I forgot to mention. I started to tell my mother about her missing clothing, and the hospital not being able to find them. She told me that someone actually delivered them to her, yesterday! It had to have happened after my sister was no longer there. When I was at the hospital this morning, they knew nothing about this!]
After our visit with her was done, we headed out – this time being able to go out the proper entrance and seeing where we can drive in to the right parking lot! The truck that was blocking the lane was gone, too, so that helped.
From there, we stopped at the Canadian Tire, then the Walmart, to do the shopping we would normally have done at the end of January, in the larger city. That will get its own separate post.
While we were at the Walmart, I started getting notifications from the garage security camera, and got to watch as Fed Ex delivered our chicken coop kit!
The shopping was really rough on both my daughter and I, as far as our pain levels went. The store is being renovated, and things we needed were moved to completely different areas we had to hunt for. When it came time to pay, we normally would have gone to the self check out, but they are now a 20 item limit, and we had well over 20 items. There were only two cash desks open.
Of course, we found ourselves at the one where a customer had some sort of issue, and the line just stopped while they waited for someone to come fix it. I ended up having to go over to the McDonalds across from the checkout, just so I could sit down!
The shopping done, we loaded the truck in bright sunshine and melting snow before heading home. We took the same route as before, because we wanted to stop to get gas at the same station we’d stopped at on the way out.
Driving right into a wall of fog!!!
It was heavy fog for most of the drive out, but by the time we reached town and our turn off to home, it was sunny again. Looking at the weather right now, we are still under a heavy fog advisory, with near zero visibility.
Once at home, we backed up to the house to unload the truck. Before moving it to the garage, though, I went to move the chicken coop boxes to the far end of the garage, well away from the door. We won’t be able to park the truck all the way in with them there, but it’s staying warm enough that that’s okay.
All the parts and pieces fit into two large boxes. You can see the design on the packages. The coop has nesting boxes, three at each end, with external doors that drop down for access. Above those doors are smaller doors that can be opened for ventilation, with more doors for ventilation in the front as well. The ramp to the nesting boxes is in the middle, and it has a full size door to access the interior.
I see on potential problem with the coop, though.
It has roosts under the nesting boxes, on either side of the ramp and door (not visible in the diagram). This means no clean up, since they’ll be pooping onto the ground below.
There are no roosts on the second level inside. Which means roosting chickens would be completely exposed to outside temperatures and wind, even though they are sheltered from above.
This is definitely not a coop made for Canadian weather!
One of the things we’re looking to build in the main garden area, though, is some sort of polytunnel type greenhouse. We could fit the entire coup inside for the winter, if necessary.
Until then, we might need to find ways to cover the wire mesh in the chicken run for the night or something like that. We’ll figure that out over the summer. We wouldn’t even be getting chicks until May.
After the boxes were moved, I went to park the truck, but there were cats, all over, under it. I went put kibble out, just to distract them away, but several kept going back under the truck. They were going on the tired, up into the undercarriage, and as soon as I got one out, another would replace it! I’ve never had so many cats so determined to get under the truck like that before!
The truck is still parked in the yard. Hopefully, when I do the morning feeding, they’ll be distracted enough that I can move it!
All in all, it made for quite a long day. Aside from my hips giving me grief, though, I’m feeling a lot better than I expected to. My poor daughter is toast, though. I won’t be surprised as all if she’s back to caning it all day, tomorrow. I’m thankful she was able to come along and help, though.
Next up, the stock up shopping post that should have been done two weeks ago!
The outside cats are certainly running around a lot more, now that things are warming up! It’s going to get quiet pleasant for the rest of February, according to the long range forecast, though the local weather group I follow is monitoring a weather system that might push a Colorado Low into our area.
I never got a call from the hospital yesterday, so I called them before going to bed. I’m glad I did, because my mother called me this morning!
She is still in the hospital, all packed and ready for her transfer. She told me she asked the staff about when she was leaving, and that they told her they didn’t know how she would be transported. Which is strange, since they told me from the start that they are arranging her transport.
The doctor at the hospital was never able to connect with the doctor and the temporary care unit, and that’s why she didn’t get transported yesterday. I explained that to her, and assured her that the hospital would be arranging the transportation. Likely with a HandiVan, rather than an ambulance. My mother didn’t even know where she was going, other than it would be in the smaller, nearer city. I told her, she would be in the old hospital, now converted to temporary long term care, but that we still didn’t know where in the building she would be. She was satisfied with that. She sounded like she was really looking forward to the transfer!
Late this morning, I headed out to the feed store in the town my mother no longer has an apartment in. 😄 We’re heading into the middle of February already (how did that happen so quickly???), and we still had kibble, so I only got three 40 pound bags. I also ordered some lysine, which should be in on Monday. Or Tuesday. Monday is a statutory holiday (it has different names in different provinces) and I think they will be closed.
Since I ordered that chicken coop – which got shipped yesterday already! – I stopped to ask some questions about chickens. The two people that were there at the time got quite enthused in answering them! I’ll need to set up a brooder (I already have the heat lamp, currently being used in the sun room for the cats). They gave me a booklet from the hatchery they get their chicks from that has all the information needed. I know we still have feeders and whatnot in the old log building my parents used as a chicken coop when I was a kid, but I’m not about to go digging those out. They’ve been there for probably 30 or more years by now. I honestly can’t remember when my parents stopped keeping chickens.
I asked them which breed they would recommend for someone just starting out and looking for layers. They both very enthusiastically recommended Browns. They were really impressed with the number and size of the eggs this breed lays, plus they are known to be quiet, friendly and clean.
The chicken coop that’s on its way is big enough for only 10 chickens, which is a bit of a problem. The hatchery’s minimum order is 24 chicks. There is, however, someone else that’s looking for only a few chicks, so they took my name down alongside theirs. If they can find one more person, they can split a shipment, and the shipping costs, after the chicks arrive. It costs a bit more for sexed chicks, but with only 10, I don’t want to have any roosters in there. By the time everything is added together, it should cost me about $75 for 10 chicks. Meanwhile, I can slowly start picking up the other supplies I will need, like feeders and waterers. I can get pine shavings locally.
Over time, as we build bigger coops, we’ll look at getting meat birds, too. If we’re looking to fill the freezer for a year, we’d be looking at at least 100 meat hens, so that would require a much bigger coop! Or multiple smaller ones. It’s a shame the building my parents used can’t be used. We might still be able to fix it up at some point – it’s still in good enough shape for that, at least – but that is very much a long term project.
Once I was done there, I topped up the gas tank ($1.279/L *sigh*), then went to the grocery store. I was mostly looking to get more rye bread, but found a few more things, of course – including some tri-tip beef that was on sale. Beef has become something where local prices tend to be better than Costco prices. At least when the sales are on. Still high, but at least affordable enough to grab the odd package now and then.
I also got sucked in, as soon as I walked in the door.
There was a seed display. The first I’ve seen this year!
Of course, I had to look, and yes, I did get seeds.
The first are some double marigolds. These are something I want to scatter plant all over the various garden beds, wherever there is space. They can be started indoors 4-6 weeks before last frost, so around the middle of April or beginning of May. Marigolds are easy to collect seed from, so I should hopefully be able to collect some for next year.
I also got some yellow zucchini, because I just can’t have too many summer squash! These can be started 3-4 weeks before last frost, so in the beginning of May.
Both can actually be direct sown, too, so I might try a bit of both. It depends on how much room I find myself with.
I seriously had to resist buying more!
So we are set for the next while. I don’t need to head out anywhere again until it’s time to take the truck in to get the differential leak fixed – a 2 hour job. I had intended to visit my mother while the work was being done, but she shouldn’t be there anymore. Depending on when they can start working on the truck, once it’s done, I will likely to head to the city my mother will be in, to hit a Walmart and a Canadian Tire, both of which are quite close to the old hospital building she is being transferred to.
I’m actually surprised I haven’t gotten a call from the hospital yet. That means she hasn’t been transferred yet. I would have hoped the doctors had connected by now!
Ah, well. We shall see. The main thing is, she is safe and care for, either way.
Now… time to start pouring through that hatchery booklet I picked up today!
The Re-Farmer
Addendum: Oh! I just hit publish when a message from my brother came in. The hospital just called him. My mother is transferred, safe and sound!
I was originally planning to head out to the feed store today, but I completely forgot about that, because of something that happened last night.
I was having a late snack of brie and pimiento stuffed olives. My first thought, when I felt something hard and immediately stopped biting down, was that I’d found a broken piece of olive pit. I’d already found one earlier.
I immediately discarded that idea, because it felt wrong. In fact, it felt more like a piece of tooth.
Yeah, I’ve had that happen before, too.
After very carefully clearing my mouth, I spit out the hard thing. Sure enough, it was a chunk of tooth. The far side of a molar at the very back of my mouth. One that already had a root canal, done probably close to 35 years ago, so there was no pain.
The weird thing?
I’d been to the dentist a few months ago because I was having pain and thought I had a cavity. There was no cavity there and nothing on the Xrays. Mostly, though, I have been having trouble chewing on that side. I’d bite on something – even something soft – and there would be a sharp pain. The problem was, the tooth that seemed to be where the pain was, had a root canal and should not have been having any pain at all. Which meant it could have been one of the teeth on either side of it. All the tests the dentist did to try and recreate that pain, failed, and he could not work out which tooth was hurting me. So, nothing was done.
That was in the lower jaw. The tooth that broke is in the upper jaw on the same side.
Yet, I no longer have pain in that area of my lower jaw.
So there is no pain in that area at all, upper or lower jaw, but I do have a sharp bit my tongue is catching on where the piece of tooth is missing. There’s now a risk the filling might break off, or more of the tooth will break.
This morning, I called the dentist to see how quickly they could get me in.
After explaining what happened and confirming that I am not in any pain right now, they booked me in as early as possible.
March 27. More than a month from now!
I am, however, on their cancellation list, and they will try to fit me in as quickly as possible. If I do start having problems with the tooth, I’m to call them back and they’ll get me in on an emergency basis.
That particular call for an appointment was unplanned. I did have another planned call. This time to my doctor to book an appointment. Got some womanly stuff at issue. I’ve been happily post-menopausal for more than 20 years. I hit menopause very early, and had zero issues of any kind. Well, now I seem to have started my cycles again. Nothing big, mostly just spotting, but still, it shouldn’t be happening. I’m not overly worried. I’m at the age women typically go into menopause, so who knows. Something to check out, anyhow.
I’m not looking forward to it.
That’s the not so good news.
Now for the good news.
With the calls and appointments made, I settled in to work on my crochet for a while, when I got a call from the hospital.
They have found a temporary care unit bed for my mother! She’s being moved today.
It’s not in her top choice location, but we stressed with her to take anything that comes available. Once she’s in the system, it’ll be much easier to get her transferred to the nursing home she actually wants to be in.
The temporary care unit is in the nearer city. When they built the new hospital we’ve been going to so often, as that’s where they have the diagnostic equipment needed, the old hospital was converted to temporary long term care. Which means they’ll have more activities and such available.
They still had to go through the process of doctors talking to doctors, nurses to nurses, transferring of files, and then they will transport her over. I’m supposed to get a call once they actually move her and give me as much information as they can. Right now, we just know the building she’s going to be in. Nothing about what floor or room or anything like that. I should know that by the end of today, if all goes smoothly.
Once that is done, we will officially be the furthest away from my mother. My sister will be just 15 minutes away, and even my brother will be closer than we are! Casual visits from our end will be far less often. That will change back again when she is eventually transferred to where she wants to be, since that’s only blocks away from the hospital she’s in right now.
These issues with the truck have totally wrecked our grocery budget. Mostly with cat supplies.
Speaking of cats, here’s some cuteness for you!
I got a call from the medical devices people this morning, about picking up the commode from my mother’s. After giving directions to find us, I mentioned that I needed to go into town, so they suggested I leave the commode outside. I warned them that they might have to remove some cats!
Meanwhile, I headed into town to drop off the truck early. After leaving the keys, I had lunch at the nearby Chinese restaurant, then walked over to the hospital to visit my mother. Talking to the owner of the garage before leaving, he told me they would just replace the oil sensor and do the oil change this time. Fixing the leak on the differential is a 2 hour job, and they didn’t have time for that today. The part, at least, is cheap. It just takes a long time to replace it.
When I came got to my mother’s, she was in the wheelchair with her back to the door. I could immediately see she had something in her ears.
Cotton balls.
Because of all the noise.
*sigh*
She says the noise seems to be coming from all over. At one point, she asked me about “the thing with holes” in the wall next to where the call button cord goes into the wall. She said she asked the nurses, but they didn’t know what it was. Meanwhile, I was saying, “you mean the speaker?”
So she thought the speaker was piping in noise from other parts of the hospital, into her room. I explained to her that when she pushes the call button, they hear it at the nursing station, and they can talk to her through it from there, that’s it. It’s not connected to anywhere else.
Clearly, they don’t actually use it, if the nurses didn’t know it was a speaker!
She was also asking about magnets. Are there magnets in there? I said yes. Oh, so that’s what’s magnifying the noise!
I had to explain that magnets have nothing to do with magnifying things.
Then she asked if I knew when she would be out of there, and talked about how her “service” was so much poorer. I told her (again, but she doesn’t remember) that she is not a patient anymore. She is a long term care resident. She would be getting the same level of care now, as she would be getting in a nursing home. She was actually surprised to hear this. I think it just finally clicked.
She then started telling me about how she was feeling so poorly and had called for help. They hooked her up to “all the wires” (an EKG), but that was it. No one has said anything to her. I asked her if this happened yesterday, but she couldn’t remember. Finally, she just said yes, yesterday. I told her that someone would need to look at the results, but if there is nothing wrong, they won’t have anything to tell her.
By the time I left, I completely forgot to stop at the nursing station to ask.
It was a pretty quiet visit, overall. My mother was having one of her good days, as far as her mood and attitude goes. Of course, she complained that my brother never calls or visits, but she always does that. I told her, he has been very busy taking care of her affairs. At the very least, he’s going to have to stop by to pick up the keys my sister dropped off.
After a while, it was time to head out again. It was getting so warm (we hit 4C/39F today!), I wanted to enjoy it as much as possible, too.
On the way back to the garage, I pass a couple of gas stations. Prices went up 5¢/L since I walked past them earlier!
The truck was still in one of the bays when I came in, but I knew it wouldn’t be much longer, so I just went into the office to wait. The owner was working on our truck himself, though he was frequently interrupted by phone calls and messages! They are a very busy garage. People know a good thing when it’s there!
It was maybe 5 or 10 minutes later when he backed the truck out, then we had a chance to talk.
He had done some research, trying to figure out why our sensor, which was replaced maybe a year ago, was having issues again. Based on what he found, he told me he removed a screen from inside the sensor. It’s there to prevent blockages. However, in our make and model, it actually causes blockages. With our winter conditions, moisture eventually gets into the system. The sensor is located off to the side, instead of next to the air filter, so it ends up with ice on the screen, causing a blockage, and faulty readings.
In the end, it cost me $230.86 in total, for the sensor, the oil change and a new oil filter. The sensor cost only a dollar less than the oil change!
He did not charge me for labour.
Meanwhile, I am now booked for next week, this time with an early morning drop off. He’s got a 2 hour slot to get that differential leak fixed. That’s going to cost another $300 or so, after taxes. Only $50 of that is for the part itself.
*sigh*
I had been thinking of doing the Walmart run after getting the truck back, but I just didn’t have the energy left for it. Instead, I went across the street to the grocery store again. I had a couple of requests from my husband, and asked the family if where was anything else we needed. Of course, when I did saw some good sales, I took advantage of it.
I didn’t take a picture of the cart again, but here is the receipt for $179.20
Once again, the most painful price was the dry kibble. This time, I got a bag for the outside cats, since I haven’t been able to get to a feed store to get any 40 pound bags. We aren’t out, but getting low, and I didn’t want to take a chance of running out completely, in case I don’t make it to the feed store soon enough.
The canned cat food was on sale, so I got enough to last us for a few more days of cat soup.
My husband requested nacho fixings, without the cheese. 😄 The chips were on sale, so I got four bags for him – but forgot to get olives. Oops. I did grab some more of the sour candies for him, though. I also got a giant bag of potato chips for the girls.
There was a good sale on BBQ sauces, so I got a couple of bottles. Flats of 30 eggs were also on sale, so I got one of those instead of the 18’s I got last time, which were no longer on sale. The girls requested some oat milk.
They had bagged avocados on sale, so I got two of them. We really enjoy avocados, but they have gotten so insanely expensive. There are 5 to a bag, which worked out to 60¢ each. These days, they are usually more than $2.50 each.
They also had hoagies on sale, so I got a couple of packages, along with another locally produced sausage ring. As a treat, I also picked up some smoked Gouda.
Last of all, I could a couple of loaves of rye bread that was also on sale, plus a package of “imperfect” chocolate pieces as a treat for myself.
All of that, except for the bag of dry kibble and the flat of eggs, easily fit into only two hard sided bags. Twenty nine items in total.
I could have had $30 taken off with my loyalty points, but I’m saving that for another time.
As I was loading things into the back of the truck, it started to rain! I’m glad I didn’t try for a Walmart trip. The roads would have been icing over by the time I was driving home.
After we unloaded the truck, I emptied the bag of kibble into the bin for the outside cats, then fed them before trying to move the truck out of the yard. They went absolutely nuts over the kibble! I think they were getting pretty tired of the feed store kibble.
We almost got an extra indoor cat again. While bringing things to the door for my daughter to grab, I stopped to tell her something and left the door open for a split second too long. Sir Robin made a run for it! We got him out quickly, but that cat wants to be an indoor cat, so badly!
Once all unloaded and the cats fed and watered, I could safely move the truck out of the yard. The cats were far more interested in the new food than going under the truck!
At this point, I will need to decide what sort of trip to the city I’ll be making at all. We still need to do a proper stock up trip of bulk items. So at least a Costco trip.
I don’t know if I’ll be doing that tomorrow, or on the weekend. It depend on whether my husband is physically up to getting to the lab tomorrow morning, for his blood work. Tomorrow is Friday. If I go on Saturday, it will be after we do a much needed dump run. We can’t even get rid of my mother’s mattress and box spring yet; there’s no room for those, plus our regular garbage and recycling, in the back of the truck. Plus, the mattress and box spring are longer than the truck box, so they’ll need to be strapped down with the tail gate open. That will need to be done on another day.
The main thing is, I no longer have to worry about the truck starting to scream at me because of a faulty oil sensor!
Before heading to the garage, I backed the truck up to check the oil levels. They were fine, but there was fresh oil drops in the dirt floor under where it was parked for the night. During the drive in, it was the same as yesterday. The pressure gauge started off in the normal range, then slowly dropped during the drive in.
I dropped the truck off at the garage, then walked over to the hospital to visit with my mother. She was doing better today, thankfully. She was able to move around without the screaming and yelling in pain.
The irony of this is that she complained about the noise the other patients and staff were making. Hospitals should be quiet, because sick people need quiet.
I talked to her about making sure to accept painkillers regularly, BEFORE the pain gets bad. She can ask for more and, if it’s an issue, they might schedule her for painkillers more often or something.
I think she would prefer to yell and scream, to be honest. I don’t want to make light of her pain. Lord knows, I can empathize with it a great deal. It’s more about her behaviour over it, and refusal to actually do what she should be doing for it, while expecting some doctor (not a black one) to fix what can’t be fixed.
I got there just as her lunch tray was about to be delivered. My mother was in her favourite corner chair, with the bedside table already in front of her, ready and waiting. As the woman dropped off the tray, she asked conversationally, your daughter is visiting? My mother, however, was just staring up at her, and didn’t seem to hear. I acknowledged that I was her daughter, but said I didn’t think my mother heard her. She went on to put a tea bag in the hot water for my mother, then asked if she needed help with the sugar packet. My mother was still just staring at her. Glaring, really.
The woman looked to be Vietnamese, which would be why my mother was staring and not answering.
I told her I would help if my mother needed it, and made sure to thank her as she left.
Once she was gone, my mother started behaving normally.
*sigh*
The lunch looked delicious. She had a slice of mushroom and pepperoni pizza, Caesar salad, vegetable soup with a packet of crackers and a bowl of canned fruit salad for desert, along with her tea. My mom said it was the first time she got pizza. It smelled awesome, and my mother polished it all off. The quality of the food is one thing my mother does not quite complain about, though she did say something about how they never give her bread (pizza crust doesn’t count). To my mother, bread should be part of every meal! 😁 She is happy with the food, though.
We had a pretty good talk. No really weird stuff. I got some messages from my sister, who was still at my mother’s place, it turned out. Then I got a message from my brother saying that my sister should keep the keys she has and lock up the apartment, rather than leaving them there, so I passed that message on.
That turned out to be a really good thing.
One of the things I’d left in case my sister wanted them was a set of dishes she had bought for my mother, but she said I could take them, as she won’t use them. We have so many dishes of our own, but they can join the other items we now have stored in a shelf in the root cellar, until we can figure out what to do with them.
I told my mother I planned to go to her apartment after I got the truck back, and she asked, to finish taking everything? I just had to laugh. I told her, you have no idea how much you have! I certainly can’t move her furniture by myself.
Some of the conversation was typically odd with my mother. She was wondering why I was back to visit, two days in a row, and I explained about the truck, and how our mechanic was going to get it done in between other appointments. Somehow, that got around to her talking about how garages take advantage of women (because, apparently, only women take their vehicles to a garage, and men all fix their vehicles themselves. She truly believes men are born knowing how to fix cares. She literally has said that to me!), and how it’s all moneymoneymoney.
I told her, people do need to be paid for their work! She seems to think everyone should be doing things for free – except her, of course. She wants to be paid back $10 for the extra keys she had copied, before turning them over to public housing when her rental agreement is done.
When I told her I wasn’t going to be charged for the work being done today, because it’s under warranty, she changed the subject.
I refilled the thermos travel cup I’d brought for her, and she said she was very happy to have that hot water. She isn’t even doing her half water, half milk thing. She just prefers to drink warm water, and adds it to the water from the pitcher they leave with her. As I was setting up the cup, plus a few other things for her, like refilling her crackers bowl, she started saying how I couldn’t understand the troubles she’s having, with her mobility. When I’m 90, I’ll understand!
I told her, I do understand. I have many of the same problems. She said this as I was reaching to set her bowl of crackers back on the window sill within her reach, and could barely do it because my elbow was giving out. I ended up telling her about falling and hurting myself, twice, last year, and how I still can’t put weight on my right knee, because that’s the one that landed on concrete. She asked what happened, and I told her about coming in from shoveling and my glasses frosting over while I hung the snow shovel up in the sun room, so I couldn’t see and tripped over something.
Her immediate response?
Why was I the one shoveling snow?
…
So… It’s my fault I got hurt, because the girls should have been shoveling snow, not me.
Got it.
I told her, I LIKE shoveling snow, but the girls do it, too, if I can’t. I just happened to be the one doing it that day.
The other odd thing was something I later called the nursing station back to warn them about.
My mother needed to go to the washroom, and was able to get herself there on her own, using the walker – I offered to help her with the hospital’s wheelchair, and she said no. Then she asked me to get a second garbage can set up with a bag. I was setting it under the bathroom sink, when I found out what she wanted to for.
To pee in.
There’s a commode, but it’s being stored in the washroom right now. She said, they want her to get up and walk around to use the toilet (I explained about the necessity of movement to help with her OA, which got a glare), but she didn’t want to use the commode. It had been beside her bed, but she claimed they forget about it and didn’t change it after it gets used. So instead, if she needs to go during the night, she planned to use the garbage can.
Well… at least it isn’t an ice cream pail, like she had been doing at home, until we got a commode for her!
I told her, don’t do that! Her response was, do you want me to pee on the floor?
*sigh*
Even with the odd stuff, it was a good and fairly quiet visit. When someone came for her food tray – a white person, so my mother was willing to talk to her – my mother started complaining about the noise. The nurse was good at deflecting!
My mother was soon ready to lie down for a nap – rejecting my offer to help her get into bed – and I headed out. After the wonderful smells of my mother’s lunch, I was really hungry! My husband had messaged me that he needed more needles at the pharmacy, so I headed in that direction and ended up stopping at the Dairy Queen for lunch this time. I had a store to stop in as well, but that was directly across the street from the pharmacy, which was handy. Once done at the pharmacy, I headed back to the garage, figuring they might be done by then.
When I got to the parking lot, I saw the truck in the lot, with the engine running. They had just finished it, and was running it to check on things. Outdoors, rather than the closed garage!
When the mechanic was free, he told me it was looking good. The leak was fixed with the highest quality seal available – he still doesn’t understand why it started leaking again. I got instructions to keep an eye on the gauge, check for fresh leaks under the truck, and check the oil levels. The oil level right now is fine, and everything seems to be running smoothly.
When I got in the truck, though, the needle on the gauge was even lower than before.
It obviously wasn’t something he felt was a concern, but I don’t like it!
My next stop was my mother’s apartment, but I needed to get gas, first. So I drove to a gas station that was on my usual route towards home. I figured, if I shut the engine off for a while, the gauge might reset itself.
It didn’t.
On the plus side, it wasn’t dropping, either. It was really steady. The only time the needle almost reached that first line above zero was when I decided to test things and gunned it to 110kph. As soon as I returned to the speed limit, down it dropped to the same level and stayed there.
With the route I was taking, I could drive to the highway closer to us, then decide if I’d be turning towards my mother’s apartment, or heading home.
Thanks to knowing my mother’s apartment would be safely locked up, I headed home.
As soon as I was stopped, I got the picture to send to our mechanic. I then went into the garage to brush aside the oil stains in the dirt floor, so we could tell if there were any new drips, before parking. Once inside, I sent the picture to our mechanic, describing what I was seeing (and what was different), though I don’t expect to hear from him necessarily today. He was so swamped, even with two other mechanics in today.
I also updated my siblings.
Now, I’ve driven with that oil gauge at zero for quite some time. When we were having MAF issues, the oil sensor also got replaced. So this is still a new sensor. It shouldn’t be misreading. Yet, he could find no other problem that might cause the sensor to be reading low oil pressure. For all I know, the sensor is reading “normal”, but the needle is simply stuck at the wrong spot.
My brother will be out here tomorrow to dig out his own truck, so I will follow them with my truck to my mother’s place, and help bring things here. The truck should be fine. My brain knows that – but I am so bloody paranoid about it, I don’t want to make the drive on my own in case something happens along the way. We depend on it so much!
This is where I remember my mother was promising to buy us a car back in the summer, but apparently my sister talked her out of it. Granted, my mother thought she had enough money to buy a new car, with zero understanding of how expensive new cars are right now. With my mother’s habit of promising things, then backing out at the last minute, none of us expected her to actually do it. Still, it does… frustrate.
Hopefully, all will work out with the truck tomorrow. I’ll be a lot more comfortable driving it with my brother nearby.
The thing is, with all this stuff going on, we still need to go our stock up shopping trips to the city, a trip to the dump, a trip to the feed store, etc. Thankfully, we have enough kibble to last another week, for both indoor and outdoor cats, but we’re almost out of wet cat food for the indoor cats. Even without having to get my mother’s apartment emptied, this is the time of the month when we do most of our driving.
This truck is certainly not the first vehicle we’ve own that’s been like this, but for having it for only 2 years, there has been a lot!
Today was my day to bring the truck in to the garage to see what was going on with my oil pressure. I was sure there was a new leak somewhere.
I’m so glad I did.
While unplugging the block heater, I made sure to look under the truck, but could see no soil of oil leaking. That doesn’t mean much, though. When we had major issues before that turned out to be a leaking oil line seal, we never saw any sign of a leak under the truck. I got that fixed and our pre-winter oil change at the same time, so this was just a few months ago. It had been fine since then.
While driving back from my mother’s apartment a couple of days ago, I noted the check engine light had turned off. This morning, it turned back on again, less than a mile from home. The code for that is not something essential, and related to the cold. The more relevant thing was that, in the 20 or so minutes it takes to drive to town, I was watching that oil pressure gauge slowly dropping.
I dropped the truck off a bit early. The owner was there on his own today, and the bays were all full, so I figured it might be a while. I updated him on what I was seeing on the way here, then dropped off the keys.
I’ve been messaging with my sister regarding my mother. Yesterday, after visiting at the hospital, she was able to go to the apartment and take the things she was supposed to grab for her place. We were trying to figure out how to get my mother’s keys back, though. While we were chatting, she mentioned my mother was out of crackers. Since it was warm enough (-21C/-6F), and the grocery store was along the way, I picked a box up for her, then walked to the hospital to visit.
My mother was happy to see me, for the most part. Glad that I brought her crackers. She was in bed and, when I asked how she was doing, she said she was in a lot of pain. Then started saying, since my brother and I are so smart, maybe we could find her a good doctor that knows what to do about it.
*sigh*
I had to explain to her, she has osteoarthritis. There really isn’t anything that can be done, other than taking pain killers. Apparently, a nurse told her that her mother gets injections every three months for her hip pain. I said yes, that works for some people, but that requires a referral to a specialist (like the sports injury clinic I was referred to) in the city, because nowhere else does those injections. That would then require getting her transported for the appointment in the city. I explained about my own OA, and my husband’s back injury and his pain levels. He’s on the strongest painkillers available, and highest doses, and his pain levels are barely affected. In her case, all she can really do is take those painkillers, because there’s no fix to her condition.
Not long after, a nurse came by to check on my mother, asking if she needed help with pain. She told him no, she was okay. I asked if she was sure, since she was just telling me about how much pain she was in, and she said yes. After he was gone (she made sure to wait until her door was closed), she told me she’d just taken 12 pills that morning, and she didn’t want to take more. Her painkillers were scheduled for 2:00, so she would wait.
It was 10:20. I asked again, was she sure? It would be almost 4 hours of a wait. She insisted. She wanted to give all those other pills time to work.
She gets her meds at 9am.
Okay. If she didn’t want to take them, we can’t force her.
The rest of the visit was a mix of good and strange and, is it time for me to leave now? I was able to distract her away from her usual rants, for the most part, at least. She asked about what was being done with her apartment (and why doesn’t my brother phone her? never mind they visited, not that long ago), and I filled her in. Then she started giving instructions on what to do for things, even though she had no idea about the process, like how to get the commode returned. She also insisted that we not give public housing the extra keys she had cut for my brother and I, unless they are willing to pay her “back” her $10. I pointed out that we would have no use for keys for an apartment she doesn’t live in. Oh, we can label them and hang them somewhere. Why? Well, maybe if someone moves into her apartment. How would we even know about that? She had no answer, but she really didn’t want us to turn over those keys unless she got paid back for them.
She also went on a rant about how the hospital staff just doesn’t care. The doctor never comes to see her (she is officially no longer a patient, but a long term care resident, now that she’s been approved for a personal care home), etc. Also, people are in the hallways, talking and laughing, and they shouldn’t be doing that.
*sigh*
After visiting for quite a while, as I was getting ready to leave, about to put my coat on, she finally mentioned she got another visit from our vandal. So I went back and sat down, asking her questions about how that went. She said he was behaving, at least, but when I asked when he visited, she couldn’t remember. I asked if it was the same day as my sister’s visit (yesterday) and she looked confused and said she couldn’t remember. So I don’t know if this was actually a new visit, or if she was referring to the same visit from our vandal she told me about, the last time I visited her. At least now the hospital has a picture of him on file, so they can recognize him as someone to watch out for. They can’t stop him from visiting, but they can make sure he doesn’t have a chance to start verbally abusing her again.
By this time in the visit, my mother had moved from lying in bed to sitting at the side of her bed. She then wanted to get up and move to her favourite chair. As soon as she started trying to stand up, though, she started yelling and screaming in pain! I tried to help her and she was able to stand up to the walker the hospital provided. She said she needed to go to the washroom, but only managed to transfer herself to the chair I’d just vacated. I kept asking her if she wanted me to get a nurse to help, but she wouldn’t answer. Finally, once she was seated, but couldn’t stand up again, I told her I was getting help.
I found the nurse that had come by earlier, just finishing up with a patient in another room nearby, so I asked him for help, telling him about my mother’s pain and that she was wanting to get to the bathroom. I added that, while my mother had just refused painkillers not long ago, she will probably need some, and he agreed. He started following me, as I rushed ahead to let my mother know help was coming.
As I got to her, she started telling me, she thinks the hospital is giving her medications to cause this pain.
Which is when the nurse came in behind me. He started bringing the wheelchair over so he could help her get to the washroom, when she started taking to him that she thinks they are giving her the wrong medications, and that’s why she is in so much pain. From the resigned body language, I get the impression he’s had issues with my mother. Being both a male nurse (to my mother, nurses should be female, doctors should be male) and Asian, it’s likely she has been less than kind to him! He told her, they can’t give her the wrong medications because, if they did, they would lose their license.
I don’t know if she really heard that, though I know it would have made no difference if she did, but she went back to screaming and yelling in pain, trying to transfer to the wheelchair. They’re going to have to get the chair she was in, cleaned. 😢
He wheeled her to the washroom, so I got myself out of the way, grabbing my things and heading out- making sure to thank the nurse for helping my mother as I left! She was already making things hard for him.
*sigh*
Before I left, I took the time to update my family about how things went, then headed out. It was getting close to lunch time by then, and there’s a Chinese restaurant in the motel next to the garage, so I headed for there. I took a quick look at the garage parking lot and couldn’t see the truck anywhere, so it was at least in the garage by then.
After I had my lunch and headed back to the garage, I still couldn’t see the truck, so I was surprised when I didn’t see it in the garage, either.
The owner was on the phone in the office when I got there, so he was soon able to update me.
He found the leak, in exactly the same place as before – except worse! He was really surprised by how much oil had leaked. It even leaked onto the floor of the vehicle bay, which it didn’t do the last time it was worked on.
We talked about it for a bit, and he has no idea why this new seal is leaking. Perhaps a defective part? He ordered me a new one, this time going with a higher end brand, just in case.
It will be covered by warranty, too, so that helps!
When he mentioned that it was leaking enough to drip onto his floor, I told him, I saw no signs of leaked oil under our truck. Which means it got worse, just during the drive in, today! I asked him if it was possible that it got damaged when I tried to start it while it was frozen (thinking of those noises I heard when I did). He was very doubtful. Still, we had had no signs of a problem until after that deep freeze. Granted, with having to pull the truck all the way into the garage so we could close the door, I couldn’t access the front to open the hood and check the oil levels. So I can’t say with 100% certainty that it hadn’t started leaking earlier. The only evidence of there being a problem was that oil pressure gauge suddenly dropping, two days ago, while I was driving to my mother’s apartment.
We are both perplexed.
The part he ordered will arrive tomorrow morning. He told me to text him in the morning about coming in. He is fully booked tomorrow, but he’ll have a couple of other guys in, and he will squeeze my truck somewhere in there. I asked him if he topped up the oil level, and he told me he didn’t have to. It seems that I over filled it with my last addition when I got home from my mother’s apartment! He did instruct me to check the oil level again, before coming back tomorrow, in case I needed to add more. That’s how bad the leak was!
When it was time to go, I had to ask him where the truck was.
He checked his cameras…
… then went out to move the ambulance waiting to be worked on out of the way, so I could back out and leave. 😄 No wonder I couldn’t see it!
Once I was clear, I stopped just long enough to let my family know I was on the way home.
Then watched the oil gauge slowly dropping again during the entire drive.
I am so glad I got that checked before doing any major driving around. Especially before doing our first city stock up shop!!!
Before pulling into the garage, I stopped to double check, confirming that there was zero sign of any oil leak visible on the dirt floor.
Once I was home, I updated the family in more detail, then updated my siblings. In talking keys with my sister, and my hopes of getting to my mother’s apartment tomorrow, she told me she could meet me there in the morning, but only for a short time. Now that I know I’ll be back at the garage tomorrow, I suggested she leave them with my mother tomorrow morning. That is likely the best way to get them to my brother, who is dealing with public housing in regards to my mother’s rental agreement.
At that point, it was only just past 1pm, and the weather was so nice (-18C/0F), I wanted to take advantage of it and headed back outside to do some shoveling. I needed to clear the drifts blocking part of our turnaround space in the yard, as well as a couple of paths that were blocked in places with drifts. I was out there for a couple of hours.
Gosh, did it feel good!
I’ll have to be extra diligent with the meds tonight, though, or I’ll be barely able to walk, tomorrow!
By the time I was finished, it was time to feed the outside cats.
They were enjoying the lovely weather, too! Especially this bunch.
I am so glad we had that old catio roof panel to scavenge as a wall for the shelf shelter! It makes for a lovely greenhouse effect, and they can see out at the same time. There are at least 9 cats in that photo! Plus I think one ran out when I went by to put away the shovel in the sun room.
That done, I finally headed inside for the day – and a lovely supper featuring bacon wrapped pork tenderloin, my daughters made.
Today was quite pleasant, but we are supposed to drop to -30C/-22F tonight. If the long range forecasts are at all accurate, we won’t get that cold again for the rest of the winter. Tomorrow’s high, however, is supposed to be sunny and almost as warm as today, so I expect I will do the walk to the hospital after dropping off the truck and be able to visit my mother again.
I can’t believe we’re at the end of January already.
Hopefully, she will have accepted the offered painkillers and will be doing better. For someone who complains so much about her pain levels, she is so unwilling to actually accept the only thing that can really make a difference. Yet very willing to expect some magical doctor somewhere (a white male, of course) to magically fix something that has no fix, while at the same time convincing herself that the people taking care of her are deliberately causing her pain.
If all goes well, my truck will be worked on and finished early enough that I can still get to my mother’s apartment and bring some things back with me. I especially want to get that wheelchair, as the hospital asked me to bring it in a while ago. Then on Saturday, I plan to be back with my brother and SIL as we take the last of everything out, and try to find somewhere to store them here at the farm.
After all that, I should FINALLY be able to do our stock up shopping in the city!
Get three cats to the vet for spay/neuter. That’s an hour’s drive one way, so we were going to drop them off, then stay in the (smaller, nearer) city to do any shopping we needed until we got the call to pick up the cats. Typically, that’s been around 1 or 2, though I’ve have them call me before noon at times.
Once the cats were picked up, we’d take them home, I’d drop them and our shopping off with my daughter, then I would go to my mother’s apartment in the town south of us, check on things, clean her fridge, pick up the wheelchair the hospital requested, then go to the town north of us, to my mother’s in the hospital. They want to measure her in it and see if it’s appropriate to go with her to a personal care home, whenever that happens.
After dropping off the wheelchair, I planned to visit with my mother for a while. Due to her cognitive issues, she was not told that there was an appointment at 6pm with my brother, as PoA, the doctor and myself, as her advocate for the past 7+ years. From there, I expected to go home.
Of course, that didn’t happen.
Well. Part of it happened.
The first thing to do was get three fasting cats from the isolation shelter, into carriers. We really, really wanted to get Frank. She was perched on the shelf above the cat bed, in the middle, where it was hard for either of us to reach her from the sliding windows. She did get close enough that my daughter could get her, but I couldn’t get around to get the carrier closer before Frank escaped.
Frank does NOT want to get got!
Thankfully, my daughter did not end up bleeding. (Side note: I finally found the scratch proof gauntlets today! They were hiding in plain sight, of course….)
So we grabbed who we could. That turned out to be Sir Robin, who is extremely easy to get got, Grommet, also and easy one, and a grey tabby with no name, because it was the biggest of the remaining cats in the shelter.
Oh, and we had 7 cats and kittens in there to fast overnight, not 8. I was sure there was a second tabby kitten in there, but I was wrong.
The tabby was not happy. This is a kitten we’ve been able to pet and pick up, but nowhere near as socialized as the other two. We were 99% sure this one was male. We’ve got several similar looking, short haired, grey tabbies that move around so much, I’m never quite sure if I’m looking at the same one twice.
Our goal was to be on the road by 7:30, to get to the clinic for 8:30, though our drop off time was 8:50.
We did manage to be on the road by 7:30, but with road conditions in places, we per parking at the clinic closer to 8:45. Which is why I always like to leave early!
During the drive in, I brought up that we needed a name for the tabby. Neither of us could think of one right away, but while checking them in, my daughter came up with Flopsy, because when we pick him up, that’s how he gets. Flopsy.
Once the cats were checked in and taken to the back, my daughter and I headed over to the Walmart and had breakfast at the McRaunchies there. It was shortly after 9am by then.
After breakfast, we did our shopping. With the polar vortex expected to hit soon, we had a few things we wanted to restock on, plus we found extras. That will get its own post later, since it did turn out to be a larger shop.
I got a message from my husband that one of my packages is in, so I added picking that up on my list of things to do after dropping off the cats at home.
When packing things into the box of the truck, we were selectively packing things into insulated bags to prevent them from freezing, rather than the other way around.
Of course, since I needed to get up and get on the road early in the day, I had an almost sleepless night. I was pretty tired, so we warmed up the truck and just stayed in it, while I tried to nap a bit. We had to turn the truck on to warm up again only once in that time.
After a while, though, I needed to use the washroom, so I headed back into the Walmart, while my daughter stayed in the truck. I hadn’t realized, while I was napping, that the weather had already started to turn. A huge wind had picked up, and there was blowing snow, everywhere. Not new snow. The wind was picking up any loose snow out there, and the parking lot was in whiteout conditions!
I headed in for a few minutes then decided to go to a Dollarama that shares the same parking lot. I found a few things there before rejoining my daughter in the truck.
By this time, it was well past noon and I was expecting to get a call from the clinic soon. My daughter needed her turn to use the facilities, so we both went in and ended up finding a few more things to purchase. Once we were done there, we decided we may as well go to the clinic. We could be in their waiting room instead of the truck, and it wouldn’t be too long, right?
Right?
We got there before 2, only to find out they hadn’t even started on any of the kittens yet.
Keep in mind, these poor things had been fasting for about 17 hours by then. It turned out the clinic had a couple of large dogs needing surgery that took more time, so doing the kittens got delayed.
Now, I hadn’t bothered to tell them that I had a 6pm appointment, because… well… it was at 6pm, and we dropped off at 8:45-8:50am. They know we hang out in town because of the long drive, and they’ve always made a point to do our cats quickly because of that.
Not this time!
When I found out the cats hadn’t been started yet, I told them that I had a scheduled appointment. I was assured the cats would be read by 4. I explained, it’s not just the appointment, but that I was needing to drop the cats of at home in our little hamlet, then drive to one town to pick up a wheelchair (forget cleaning out the fridge, at this point!) and take it to the hospital in yet another town.
I was told they would try to get them done as soon as possible.
So we sat to wait.
Next to a couple of adorable kittens in a cat cage that were available for adoption. While there, a tech came to get them and return them several times, and we learned that they were about to be adopted out together! So glad they are staying together.
It was about quarter past three when a tech came out. They were about to start on Sir Robin the Brave, but he had messed himself in the carrier (they’ve been in carriers all this time?? They usually get transferred to larger cages!), and his back end was a dried up mess. She confirmed that these were outdoor cats and that they would be going outside again, so they would try to wash him off as best they could, rather than just shave the area. Easier and faster to shave, but no one wants to risk him getting frostbite on his nethers!
Which means they didn’t actually start the surgery until probably half past three.
We could hear the techs talking at one point, probably while still trying to wash off Sir Robin, and heard them giggle with delight over his full name.
Then we waited.
When 4:00 came and went, I was messaging my brother to warn him I might be late.
Finally, at about 4:20, someone came out to let us know the cats were done. Still groggy, but awake enough that we could take them. We got the instructions (we’ll keep them in the isolation shelter for at least 3 days) and the carriers were brought out. I’d already left the donation funds with the front desk when we checked them in, so we could leave immediately. My daughter and I loaded the carriers and were on our way.
Thankfully, by this time, the winds had died down a little bit, and there wasn’t as much blowing snow. I was able to do the speed limit for most, not all, of the drive.
Once we got home, my daughter got out to open the gate, but left it open for me as I drove into the yard and up to the house. I started unloading our shopping just to the front steps until my daughter caught up and helped me. Once the truck box was empty, we unloaded the carriers. Then my daughter took over while I headed back out again.
I just barely made it in time.
I had just parked at the hospital when I got a message from my brother. They had just arrived themselves, were set up in a family room for the meeting, and told me where it was.
The doctor was a few minutes later, so we had time to catch up and focus on what we were trying to find out, etc.
At one point, my SIL asked, how do we respond if they try to send my mother home again?
My answer was simple.
No.
That’s it. Just, no. They can’t send her home. Homecare is not reliable, and I can’t be driving that distance – especially in winter! – to cover for them so often.
Thankfully, that never became an issue.
The doctor came in and actually recognized us, from when my mother was in the hospital almost a year ago. There was a nurse as well, who was also the note taker for the hospital (my brother took his own notes, of course. He’s very organized that way).
We had a very good and, I would even say productive, meeting.
One thing is clear. The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.
They knew nothing about the panels done by home care – I was there for both of them, including the one that was done before my mother went to the hospital – even though the report would have gone up to the same department the hospital has to go through when it comes to long term care assessment. He was able to let us know what was found in my mother’s X-rays that were finally done, though it wasn’t “official” since the radiology department still had to review them. As expected, she has severe osteoarthritis. That’s the source of her pain. He did not have access to my mother’s MRI brain scan results, but he could work on getting them.
We were very confused when he started talking about my mother’s congenital heart disease as the cause of her edema, when she’s been seen by a cardiologist, and her heart checked out better than most people a quarter her age.
Oh, wow. I just went out to meet the prescription delivery driver. That wind out there is BRUTAL!!!
Where was I?
Oh, yes.
So the doctor explained that they use the term “congenital heart disease” to cover a lot of things. In my mother’s case, it’s her A-fib, which she’s had forever (I have it, too). It has never been a problem. Now, however, he basically described it as the upper chambers of her heart being in a constant quiver, while the lower chambers are pumping normally, when it used to be just a little hiccup now and then. To put it simply, her heart is getting tired and misfiring more. This is what my father got a pace maker for, but she’s not at that stage. It didn’t come up as an option, though; we all know that at her age, surgery would be a greater risk than the A-fib is right now. That her heart is otherwise strong and healthy and all her arteries are clear helps, but it won’t stop the edema.
In the end, my mother has two issues going that mean she can no longer go back to her apartment to live independently, even with home care. There’s the edema, and the OA, and right now, the OA is causing her so much pain and reducing her mobility, it’s actually the more severe issue.
Then he had to get our consent (which they already got from my mother) to do a panel for my mother to go to a personal care home.
…
YES!!!!
Good grief. We’ve begging for this from the start.
So the official hospital testing and paperwork will be done and go to the department that makes the decisions. Because 1) my mother’s level of care doesn’t need hospital status, 2) she’s bored out of her tree and 3) they need the bed for more urgent patients, my mother will probably be transferred to a temporary long term care facility – she may even be back in the same town her apartment is in! – before being transferred to the nursing home she’s been trying to get into for the past 2 years or so. Even then, she might get transferred to a different one before she get get into the one she wants. Once she’s in a long term care facility, even a temporary one, there will be more programs and activities available to her, so she won’t be stuck sitting in her room, day after day.
We did also have a chance to discuss some other issues related to our vandal and that he might try to convince my sister to help him manipulate my mother. He’d managed to do this with my late father. Right now, the one thing protecting my mother from her own self sabotage is that my brother has binding PoA, so even if she is declared mentally unfit, he can take care of her. They already understand that, at this point, cognitively she cannot make things like legal decisions on her own, but they will get her officially tested and assessed, so that there is documentation. This way, even if they do convince her to sign something, it won’t be legally binding. My mother, with my sister’s help (“I was just following her wishes”, was her explanation) has already messed herself up so badly in other areas, she has no clue what she’s done and, legally, my brother can’t fix it. They also want photos of our vandal and my sister to have with my mother’s file, so they can recognize them as people with limited access to my mother.
I’m so disappointed that my sister got manipulated into it, and is completely oblivious to the harm she has helped cause. Honestly, I have concerns about my sister’s cognitive health, too. But she’s skinny, and we all know skinny people are perfectly healthy and never have such problems, even if she is almost 70.
Yeah, I’m being sarcastic, but that is essentially what I’ve been told flat out, in different ways.
So then we got to talking about my mother’s apartment. She’s not going back, we know that, but until the panel process officially declares that, it’s recommended we don’t end that contract yet. However, it’s basically 99.99% sure the panel application will accept that she needs to be in a personal care home, so go ahead and start packing. We can basically cancel her services while we pack and empty the apartment, little by little, so that once that official word comes through (and we don’t know how long that will be), all we would need to do is cancel her rental agreement with public housing.
That all done, we parted ways, then went to visit my mother. She was very surprised to see us (we learned my sister did visit earlier, as today is her non-sabbath related day off), and happy, too. Which was a nice change.
The visit was… about as good as can be. She was in a good mood and I think her pain levels are under control, as she had only a few “moments”. We updated her on the status of things, as best we could. We explained the importance of her accepting any transfer they offer her, because it’s part of the whole process of getting her where she wants to be.
Which was when she started talking about “going home”. Meaning, her apartment.
*sigh*
We had to go over that with her again. I expect we’ll have to do it many more times. The doctor, thankfully, is quite aware of her self sabotage. Sadly, this is something they encounter quite a bit.
While talking about temporary long term care and getting her to where she wants to be, she told us about someone that was across the hall from her. He was doing very poorly, they had to wrap his legs, there was always someone having to tend to him…
He just got transferred to the nursing home my mother wants to be in.
She was upset that he got in before she did.
…
We had to explain (again) that people who get taken to nursing homes more suddenly, it’s because they’re not expected to live long. People who are in far worse shape than she is in.
Her complete lack of empathy threw us, even though she does it all the time.
Things got off track a few times, but that did give me a chance to bring out a gift I got for my mother.
My mother has always loved to draw and is really quite good. She doodles all over. So I got her this.
An actual sketch pad, rather than the envelopes and scrap paper she’s been using, with tear off pages, and colouring pencils that don’t need to be sharpened. She already has pen and pencil.
I know it’s harder for her, with her vision getting worse, but she might have some good days and feel up to it. Or just be bored enough to try!
I honestly expected her to be angry, as she usually is when I try to give her things, but she was actually almost nice about it. She just commented on how she can’t really draw anymore, but we encouraged her.
We talked about her apartment, and she started telling us what to do with things. We had to reassure her, she didn’t have to worry about the “stuff”, we would take care of them, and we know she doesn’t want things thrown out (unless they are damaged or broken or course).
By the time we headed out, it was coming up on 8pm. I’d left home around 7:30, had breakfast somewhere before 9:30, and the only thing I’d eaten since then was a handful of cashews and a chocolate bar we’d picked up as road munchies, on the way home from picking up the neutered cats. I had hoped to stop somewhere to eat before going home, but it was so late and I was so tired, I just got some gas and headed home.
Just as I pulled up to the last stop sign, a couple of miles from home, the check engine light on the truck turned on.
*sigh*
I wasn’t about to check on it when I got home. My daughters, sweethearts that they are, had hot food almost ready for me by the time I got in.
What a long, long day, and I didn’t get anywhere near as much done as I had hoped.
I got to bed early (for me, anyhow), and woke up to this.
Yeah, that’s -31C/-24F with a wind chill of -46C/-51F
It could be worse. Some areas of our province were warned of wind chills of -50C/-58F.
That’s what I saw before heading outside to do the cat stuff, skipping most of my morning routine. By the time I got back inside, the temperature had dropped to -32C/-26F. When I headed out to meet the pharmacy delivery guy, it was back to -31C/-24F with the wind chill at -45C/-49F
The outside cats got their kibble and warm water. Even the heated water bowl in the sun room had some ice on top, and the one in the isolation shelter had frost on the edge closest to the window!
The isolation cats were all snuggled together in the cat bed. Last night, my daughter let out the “extras” that wanted to be let out, so there are now four teenagers in there right now. While I was doing the kibble and water, my older daughter gave the isolation cats a couple of cans of wet cat food. The benefits of being locked up in there is special food treats, which won’t freeze before they finish eating it.
It was still at -32C/-26F when I headed out again in the late morning. I got the truck going – it started fine and nothing sounds out of the ordinary – to get the OBDII scanner hooked up. I got the same code as last time; air-fuel ratio imbalance. Top recommendation is to replace the oxygen sensor. The other code concerns me more, though; power mode master input circuits mismatch. The top reported fix for that is replacing the ignition switch, while the next frequently reported fix is, replaced ignition switch wiring harness.
I’ve sent screen caps of the scans to our garage. I’m not as concerned about the O2 sensor. That seems to be temperature related, as it went away on its own, last time. Both code frequencies are listed as “common” for our truck’s make and model. I’ve looked up the parts and they don’t seem to be expensive, though these wouldn’t be local prices.
*sigh*
We really don’t need this. It’s the price of having an older, high mileage vehicle, but it was what we could afford and get financing for. Still, I’m so tired of these sensor issues – which apparently GM is notorious for.
Thankfully, we won’t need to go anywhere for several days. Today is supposed to be the worst for both cold and wind. Things are supposed to be a bit warmer, but still brutal, over the next three days. After that, we’ll have more average temperatures, with highs hovering above and below -20C/-4F.
Interestingly, the long range forecast is showing a whole lot of days above freezing, in February! February is usually colder than January. At least in the first couple of weeks. If the forecasts are in any way accurate, today and the next few days will be the last deep freeze of this winter.
I sure hope they are right. I so feel for the people that have to drive and work outside in these temperatures! Not to mention the critters out there. I’m glad we can at least provide some worth and reliable food and water for the yard cats – and whatever creature cleaned out every crumb of kibble in the catio shelter!
The Re-Farmer 