homecare

Early morning outdoors

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The plan for this morning was to head out nice and early to get the garden watered before things got too hot.

The problem with that was, at 4am, we were still at 21C/70F out there. We never got any cooler than that, overnight.

Still better than today’s expected high of 31C/88F, so I was heading out somewhere around 6am to get started. The outside cats were a bit confused by the early feeding, though! 😄

The sky was certainly dramatic as I continued my rounds.

(Major interruption; I got a call from home care while typing the above. Guess who had to drive to my mother’s for her morning med assist again? It … was not really a good visit. More on that later.)

Where was I…

Ah, yes.

While I was doing my rounds, I could hear thunder in the distance, but I went ahead and did all the watering, anyhow. It did start raining while I was out there, but barely enough to get my shirt wet.

I did snag what look to be the last of our turnips.

I plan to include them in a large crock pot meal that won’t heat up the house, so we can just reheat individual portions whenever we want. In this heat, none of us have much for appetites, and no one wants to cook.

As I was finishing up outside, I spotted this adorable sight.

With the heat and humidity, the kittens are sleeping a LOT. I didn’t see the wild kittens at all this morning. Hopefully, they had a chance to have the cat soup I put out for them, before the adults ate it all. All the bowls I use for that were empty before I was done, and I was able to gather them all up to the old kitchen, ready for their evening feeding.

Thankfully, what rain we did have made things more pleasant while I was doing the watering.

Once inside, I did have a chance to have breakfast before I started on this blog post, when I got the call about my mother’s med assist. They couldn’t find anyone to cover her 9:30.

Looking at the time as I talked to the scheduler, it was 9:32. They do know it takes me a while to get to my mother’s (just the prefix on my land line would tell them that). I called my mother to let her know I’d be coming and…

She started asking me if I was okay for coming over. After a bit, I figured out she was wondering if I had any appointments or such that was being interfered with. I assured her that I did not; my appointments were yesterday, not today.

She then started to suggest I didn’t need to come. She could take her pills herself.

???

It turns out that, when the pharmacy delivered her bubble pack refills yesterday, she tucked one pack aside (a week’s worth). The home care aid put the rest in the lock box.

I assume the home care aid did not count how many packs there were, to make sure they were all there.

This is not a good thing but, to be honest, I can’t fault her for doing it. Home care has not been reliable.

I told her, don’t touch it. I’ll be right there!

After a quick change, I was on the road and soon at her place.

Where I found her with a recycling bag on the floor, the contents of her recycling bin all over, as she was sorting and stacking the various Meals on Wheels food containers (I don’t even know if they can be recycled). Once I figured out what she was doing, I told her she didn’t need to do that; just put it all in the bag. Today was her town’s day for picking up the recycling, so I helped her bag everything so I could take it out to the stack in front of her building for pick up.

She became angry at me for not tying off the bag correctly.

While this was being done, I noticed my mother had a page from the local free weekly paper she gets. It was the obituary/memorial section.

There was a picture of my later brother and father in there.

The beginning of July is the anniversary of my brother’s death. He’s been doing this for the last 15 years now. When my father passed, he changed the picture to one with both my brother and father in there. The text is a bizarre and completely false claim in regards to this property and a cottage that doesn’t exist. My mother, however, was all gooey about seeing the ad, and isn’t our vandal so wonderful for doing this? He does it every year. No one else does. He pays to do this!

I said to her, you do realize he’s not doing this out of the kindness of his heart, right?

One the one hand, I’m glad his passive aggressive and very public attack on the family is going right over her head. On the other, I’m frustrated, because it’s working. All the abuse and lies and theft over the years, but he paid money to put a picture and lie about my late brother, and that makes him better than me or my siblings.

*sigh*

Anyhow…

After dropping the recycling bag off outside, I went straight into the washroom to wash my hands before getting her meds. The door was open, so she could see me. As I left, she asked me, did you wash your hands?

…

I got her morning meds out, along with her inhaler, making sure to check the front of the bubble pack to get the Friday morning bubble, before opening it from the back.

It wasn’t until I updated my siblings after getting home that I realized, something was wrong.

When I was there to do her morning med assist on Wednesday, I was trying to figure out why her Tuesday meds were still in the bubble pack. When confirming which bubble I needed to open this morning, I saw that yesterday’s meds were gone, as were Wednesday’s…

… and Tuesday’s.

I’d taken a picture of the active bubble pack when I was there on Wednesday, as well as the pack in the lock box, because the pack in the lock box should have had the two Monday evening pills still in it, and it didn’t.

What the heck is going on?

I didn’t clue into that at the time, though, and just kept going.

I had decided that, since I was in my mother’s town, anyhow, I would stop at the grocery store to pick up some of their deli meats that are priced so much better than elsewhere. I told my mother I was going to go to the grocery store, and asked if she needed anything that I could pick up for her?

She thought about it for a moment, then said I could change her bedding for her.

…

Okay.

So I did that, which took a while. Then put away her clean laundry so I could use the basket. Changed her table cloth out for her, too. That done, I explained again that I was going to go to the grocery store after, and did she want anything?

It turned out she missed the part about planning to go for myself, anyhow, and couldn’t figure out why I was going to go to the grocery store for her, when she didn’t need it. I explained again, and she had me check her fridge for her. I pulled a couple of things out of the freezer, but she was still okay in general.

Then she wanted to have a serious talk with me.

*sigh*

Long story short, my mother is still convinced that we should be able to go directly to the nursing home she wants to go to and ask them to take her in. I tried to explain to her that this is not how things work. They’re not like an apartment that you can rent. They are part of the health care system, so they have no say. Plus, the only time they have open beds is when someone dies, and then they have a waiting list of people who want to get in. She kept cutting me off and getting angry as I tried to explain this, and said, they are kind people. There are still kind people in the world. Unlike you.

…

She managed to throw that one at me several times.

She also thinks my SIL, who has always been so incredibly kind to my mother and stood up for her, so many times, is “pulling away” my brother from her. That’s why he never calls (he does) or visits (we were both there just this past weekend).

She also thinks the home care staff that I have to cover for are not showing up because they don’t feel like it.

My mother is a great one for projecting all sorts of motivations onto people, and if I make any attempt to suggest there might be other reasons, she accused me of always taking “their” side on things, and being against her.

*sigh*

After a few more comments about how other people were so kind “unlike you” and making digs at my brother and SIL, my mother started talking about her stuff and how we need to decide who gets the pictures, or if she will donate them to a museum.

She has no understanding of what museums take or why, but she’s convinced these old prints have some sort of incredible value, because she likes them, and she understands that there is value in things…

She also brought up about her health and I reminded her that, if she’s really feeling bad, use the life line. That’s the fastest way to get help, plus they would contact me.

Oh, you know I’m not good with technology.

I reminded her, she just needs to push a button. That’s it. She has pushed it by accident, leaning against her table, as it is.

She’s angry about having the life line, because she’s paying more than $50 a month for it, and they’re not doing anything.

…

*sigh*

So all in all, it was a pretty unpleasant visit with my mother this time. Then, after all her digs about how unkind I was, she actually thanked me for coming out and gave me gas money.

Her digs against me were no big deal. She always has something, and it’s water off a duck’s back for me. The things she was saying about my brother and SIL – two of the most awesome people who have done so much to help her for so many years – that got under my skin. I’m still ticked off.

As for the rest of my day, I suspect the evening watering will be skipped again. The heat is supposed to linger until late, and we currently have both heat warnings and severe thunderstorm warning happening right now. It’s past 2pm as I write this, and we’ve reached 29C/84F, and the humidex has us at 34C/93, and it is MUGGY out there. I hope we do get the storms, but from what I can see of the weather radar, these storms are all coming up from the US and will only hit the southern parts of Canada.

As for me right now, I have this sudden urge to take a nap to recover my sanity.

The Re-Farmer

Again! but some good stuff, too (plus a bit of a rant)

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First, the cuteness. I haven’t been able to take photos of the cats much lately, but I did get this adorable shot, yesterday.

Or was it the day before yesterday?

I’m losing track.

I was tending to the flexible hose for the emergency septic diverter, getting any liquid sitting in it, out, and the cats were very interested! Syndol, however, went for a post-eye view! 😁

This morning, I was just starting to feed the cats outside, when my cell phone started ringing.

*sigh*

There’s really just one place that calls my cell phone.

Home care.

Yup. They were short staffed again. This time for my mother’s morning meds.

Given what time it was, I quickly finished feeding the cats, grabbed my purse, then finished short rounds before heading to my mother’s. With what time she’s supposed to take her morning medications, I didn’t have time to change or call her ahead. So my mother got a bit of a surprise when I came in the door instead of home care this morning!

I wasn’t there for very long, but a lot happened in that short time. She has some confusion about her meds and that led to her making all sorts of assumptions and accusations. Then she commented on how the case coordinator we had a meeting with yesterday had said we’d soon be getting rid of the lock box. Very clearly, she said this, according to my mother.

Which is the opposite of what she actually said.

After answering her as best I could while doing her meds, I took her blood pressure. It is much better this early in the day than in the evening. She had already made herself some breakfast, but I was able to empty her commode for her. I offered to help her dress, but she was happy to stay in her warm and fluffy night gown today, as she doesn’t need to go anywhere. My sister will be coming by later, so she will be able to do more light housekeeping and laundry for her. Hopefully, she also found a hot water bottle and some Velcro shoes for my mother, too. Finding shoes that my mother can get her feet into is even harder than for me. She has massive bunions and bunionettes, so her feet are much, much wider at the ball of the foot, even compared to mine. My sister was also planning to bring some microwave dinners as well. Home care will be able to heat those up for Mom, if she wants them to.

As we were talking, my mother mentioned that our vandal and his wife had stopped to visit her not long after I’d left yesterday. !!! It seems they were on the way back from another chemo treatment. Apparently, he was so sick, he couldn’t sit down, but had to lie on the couch and, even while driving, has to lay the seat back.

If he’s that sick, he shouldn’t be visiting my mother.

But, he’s playing her like a lute, and it’s working. She feels so sorry for him, and started telling me how my brother and I shouldn’t be “afraid” of him, and that we should basically suck up to him because he’s sick. She heard the messages he’d managed to leave with my brother’s voice mail, and knows full well he claims we caused his cancer, among other far more vile things he said about me and my daughters. Unfortunately, she is easily swayed. I don’t know what he’s trying to get out of her (and I doubt his wife has any idea that he made those calls), but he’s certainly succeeding in getting her to feel sorry for him. I think my brother may need to keep an eye on her accounts to see if any checks made out for large amounts get cashed!

After I left, I decided to stop at the post office to pick up a couple of parcels. I have another that’s supposed to arrive tomorrow, and was going to pick them all up on my way home from getting the truck to the garage, but went ahead and got the two that were there today, anyhow. More on that later!

Once I got home and updated my family, I called up the case coordinator. She was actually in her office, so I was able to talk to her directly. I knew she would have heard the messages I’d left yesterday, but there was no need for her to follow up on those. I wanted her to know about how my mother had declared she had said the opposite of what she really said, about the lock box, and about my mother’s confusion with her bubble packs.

I also mentioned that our vandal had showed up yesterday. She is somewhat aware of that situation. We talked about how it would work out if my mother were in a nursing home. Particularly the one she wants to be in. I would hope that we’d be able to ban him from visiting her, but they don’t really have security. Their security is to keep nursing home patients from wandering off, not to keep people out. The only real way to keep him away would be if there were a court order, and we looked into that several years ago. My mother would have to go to court herself, which she physically can’t do. My brother, as PoA, could only do it on her behalf if a doctor declared my mother mentally incapable of doing it herself. That she is physically unable to doesn’t matter. Granted, her cognitive decline would make it difficult for her to do it, too, but she’s not far enough gone for the PoA to kick in, in that regard.

Either way, it’s disturbing that he keeps showing up at my mother’s, and that she lets him in. At least his wife is with him, so he’d be on better behaviour. Apparently, he’s so unwell, he can’t sit, and had to lie down. Even while in the vehicle, he has to have the seat back. Even the case coordinator wondered, if he’s that sick, why is he stopping to see my mother?

Once all that was done, I could finally make myself breakfast – brunch? Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. Once again, I am giving up sugar and simple carbs. Bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, that sort of thing. The first year I did that, it was not that difficult. Last year, it was oddly difficult. But then, it wouldn’t mean as much if it was easy.

I ended up making a creamy meat soup for breakfast, with bacon lardons, celery, mushrooms, ground beef, mushroom broth, cream, a can of mushroom soup and a handful of shredded cheese (cheddar and mozzarella). It turned out delicious!

That done, I finally got to opening the packages. One of them was the keyboard protector I originally bought for myself. March is a birthday month, though, and after talking to my younger daughter, I found that my older daughter would not want what I originally planned to get her. Knowing that she has the same issues with cats on her keyboard that I do – and her computer is how she makes a living – I decided this might make an acceptable gift, instead.

When I took it out of the box, I discovered some pleasant surprises!

This is what I got. (not an affiliate link) Just a basic acrylic piece in the large sise, that would fit over my ergonomic keyboard.

It was not the only thing in the box!

The cover itself came with self adhesive, no slip pads to protect the desk surface. There is also an optional back cover, with clear Alien Tape type stuff to attach it, if necessary.

Then there was the clear acrylic phone holder.

A colourful round mouse pad.

and… what the heck???

An odd looking stick and some brightly coloured fuzzy things???

The odd looking stick turned out to be a “fishing rod”, and the fuzzy things were the “lures”.

It was a cat toy, with two different fluffy “lures”.

I called my younger daughter down and asked her if she thought her sister would like it as her birthday gift. We knew she wouldn’t have much use for the phone holder, and the cat toy would, of course, be for the cats, but she said that yes, her sister would like the gift. So she took it upstairs to set up over her sister’s keyboard as a surprise.

Then she got the cat toy out and put it together with a highlight marker yellow lure, discovering that the rod was telescoping!

The cats went absolutely insane over it!

Unfortunately, one of them woke up my older daughter after parkouring off of her stomach to get to the other room and try and catch the lure!

So my older daughter now knows what she got for her birthday – and then promptly fell back asleep!

My younger daughter was able to get all the cats downstairs and played with them for some time. Only the three grandmas were completely uninterested, and stayed on my bed! Tin Whistle was the most insane with her leaping and twisting and flipping through the air. Amazingly, the cat that was almost as acrobatic was Tin Whistle was Cheddar! He’s such a big boy, I really did not expect that!

When she saw Tin Whistle actually starting to pant (cats should NOT pant!), she stopped and tucked it way into the bathroom, where the cats are not allowed, until next time.

I plan to get two more of these covers. One for my own keyboard and one for my younger daughter. While I did balk slightly at the cost, the extras that came with it more than made up for it! Only the optional back panel was included in the description.

I am getting quite the giggle out of this “Engrish” description of the large sized cover.

【large size】20”long x 7”Width x 4.7”high. 0.4” thick；- this is large enough to cover each of them with enough room for keyboard. It’s high enough allows boys with large palms to type without any hindrance. that you can use the keyboard easily. It’s thick so it can take the weight of you chonky adult cats easily. Compared with glass, the sturdy and drop-proof acrylic material makes it safer.

Boys with large palms!

You chonky adult cats!

Too funny.

On a completely different note, I’ve been chatting with the Cat Lady today. They’ve been in the US for the past while, combining a family holiday with her husband doing a presentation at a conference. It turns out he was offered a job and they are seriously considering moving. Or, more accurately, she would really like to move. He’s not too keen on moving. As someone who has moved so many times, I’d be more like her husband on this one! Plus, they’ve been in their house for less than 2 years. So why would she want to move?

Better weather (Florida).

Better healthcare (US in general)

No state income tax (her husband would get to keep 52% more of his income).

Better political leadership, both state and federal.

I can’t argue against any of those points. Especially right now, when our Liberal government has chosen a tariff war that will destroy our economy, rather than accepting the reasonable request of beefing up our border security, dealing with the fentanyl crisis and meeting our NATO obligations, all of which we should already be doing.

If you’re hearing about it in the news and the US is being painted as the “bad guy” in all this, and Canadians are all up in arms against Americans and boycotting, they are lying. We could easily have avoided a tariff war, but our governments, federal and most provincial, have decided to play a dick waving war. Most Canadians see that, but you won’t be hearing about them, in the media.

Like the quote, wrongly attributed to Sun Tzu, goes…

“An evil enemy will burn his own nation to the ground… to rule over the ashes“.

That is what our own government has chosen to do. Burn our nation to the ground, but now they can blame Trump for it. Our own government is the “evil enemy”, not the US.

Honestly, it’s gotten to the point where, if it were an option, I’d be moving, too. That whole “51st state” thing? That might well be the only thing that can save Canada. Lord knows, we haven’t been able to save ourselves. As I write this, Trudeau is still our Prime Minister, having stated his intent to resign after a new Liberal leader and PM is chosen, in a few days.

In our system. we don’t vote for our Prime Minister in federal elections. We have 338 elections for our Members of Parliament. The party that has the most winning MPs wins the federal election, and that party’s leader becomes the PM. The PM is supposed to also be an MP. Technically, he or she could still be PM if they did not win in their own riding, but they would not be able to debate in Parliament. In the rare event that this happens, an MP that did win would volunteer to step down. The party leader would officially move to that riding and be the MP in their stead.

On announcing his intent to resign, our Prime Dictator got the Governor General (who is supposed to be a neutral representative of the crown, but is a partisan T2 appointee) to shut down parliament. This was to avoid a planned vote of non-confidence which would have passed and triggered an election. The act was blatantly unconstitutional, but then, most of what T2 and his Liberals have done for the past 10 years have been unconstitutional and often outright illegal, and they’ve been getting away with it.

With T2 (not to be confused with his father T1, who was the most hated PM in Canadian history until now) saying he will step down when a new party leader is selected, there is now a leadership race. They managed to get rid of the one person that was actually competent (a woman born in India, and if there’s one thing our “feminist” PM can’t stand, it’s a strong, ethnic woman), so there are 4 people running for leadership. The one that they are blatantly working to install is Carney, a guy that hasn’t lived in Canada for more than 10 years, holds 3 passports, has destroyed the UK economy and, it turns out, has been advising our Prime Dictator for the past 5 years. So he’s been busy destroying our economy, too. Of course, he isn’t an MP, but that doesn’t seem to matter. He’s actually worse than T2. If (when) he is installed, he would automatically become PM – though when asked directly, when he would resign, T2 said it would be up to whoever won the leadership race. So… he might not resign after all.

Carney, meanwhile, has already talked about using emergency measures in Canada. My prediction (please, God, let me be wrong) is that, once installed into office, he’ll pull a Zelensky. Invoke the war measures act (aka: the emergency act) and declare martial law (because, Trump), and ban any elections. They can keep parliament from resuming, but can push through that “internet safety” bill they were trying to force through before parliament was shut down. This bill, if passed into law, would literally allow for people to be arrested for thought crimes and pre-crimes. Basically, anything anyone says that the government does not approve of can lead to charges, but it would also allow people to press charges against each other essentially for hurt feelings. It would allow them to ban opposition parties, start arresting anyone who disagrees with them, and give them the power to control the media, including social media.

It blows my mind that Canada has fallen so far. Worse, there are so many people who actually cheer this on.

So… yeah. I can understand why so many people have been leaving Canada (a trend that has been going on for years) for greener pastures, like the US.

I would certainly be sad to see the Cat Lady and her family go, but if they are able to escape, more power to them!

Thankfully, we live in the boonies. Things would be much worse if we still lived in a city!

I also mentioned to the Cat Lady about my having to cover for home care so many times. She completely understood our situation. Her mother had gone through the same with her mother (the Cat Lady’s grandmother. She had to be there almost all day, every day, because there were so many cancellations and screwups.

Suddenly, our situation doesn’t seem to bad!

When I got the call this morning, I confirmed that this evening’s med assists were still on schedule, and was told yes. I’m still half expecting my cell phone to ring, and be told they suddenly don’t have staff again.

What a mess.

Still, we do what we have to do, right?

*sigh*

The Re-Farmer

A quick update

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My brain is feeling fried, so not much to say this time.

While heading to my mother’s for the meeting with home care, I noticed the trip meter on the truck was already at almost 450km. It’s only March 4, and I reset it when I filled the tank at Costco on Feb. 28. Just over 100km of that was the trip home. The rest was the first three days of March.

If I keep getting so many calls to cover med assists like in the past couple of weeks, this is going to be a very expensive month on gas!

I got to my mother’s early, in case she needed help with getting dressed or anything like that. She was already dressed and ready. She and I are alike in one thing: if we have some sort of appointment, we can’t sleep the night before.

Yeah, I’m didn’t get much sleep last night, either.

We got to talking and my mother quickly launched into an attack on my brother. She started accusing him of keeping secrets from her again, and said a few strange things. One was how he “brags” about his technology (he doesn’t brag. Even the slightest attempt to talk about his work is so far beyond her ability to understand, he avoids talking about his job at all). Then she said, she doesn’t want his technology, but his kindness.

No one has been kinder to my mother than him. No one has done more for her than him. He has covered her butt for decades. But because he doesn’t tell her all his personal stuff, and doesn’t always agree with her, doesn’t allow her to treat him like her personal slave, that means he’s not kind to her – then she suddenly started saying that it’s his wife that controls everything. !!!!

There was one thing she said that actually confirmed something we’ve suspected for some time now. A matter of phrasing, really.

She is getting my brother mixed up with my dad.

He looks more and more like my dad as he gets older. My mother and my dad were always butting heads. A very dysfunctional relationship. We’ve noted that she’s treating my brother like she used to treat my dad. Today, she actually started talking about him as if he was my dad.

Then there was a knock at the door, and the case coordinator arrived.

We talked for while about all sorts of things. They’ve not been able to find exactly what happened with the morning no-shows. The best they could come up with is that there was confusion and lack of communication because a previous shift scheduler has been away for the past month, and there is come chaos with the people filling in for her.

I tested my mother’s BP so she could see how my mother has to move around when just shifting from chair to chair, so I could access her left arm. My mother and I had already decided that, at the end of the meeting, I would take her to do her blood work, so the case coordinator could observe how my mother gets into the truck, and moves around in general.

In the end, it looks like my mother will start getting some meal assists – all they can do is things like make her a sandwich, or reheat leftovers. My mother was indeed already scheduled for longer time in the mornings, for assistance in dressing and emptying her commode, but it hasn’t been happening, so that will be looked into. I don’t think my mother is in “bad” enough condition for her to actually get considered more urgently to get her into supportive living or long term care. Which is so very frustrating.

After the meeting was done, I got my mother to the lab in the local hospital with no doctors, just a few blocks from my mother’s place, for her blood work. Only one vial was needed, and no one else was there to get done, so it was really fast. Just that outing wore her out, though, and she was glad to be home. It was just coming up on lunch time, so I got some food together for her before I left.

And that was pretty much it. I had actually intended to go for a nap, I’m so tired, but after I had my own lunch, it just didn’t make sense to try and nap, or I’d screw up my own night. So I’m basically just dragging my butt through the day until it’s a reasonable hour to go to bed.

I need sleeeeeeepppp.

Thankfully, I don’t have any appointments tomorrow, so I should be able to have a recovery day. Unless I get another call from home care to cover my mother’s meds again! Then I have the appointment at the garage for the truck to do a whole bunch of relatively small things before they become big things, along with replacing the oil sensor. Which means a few hours in town, while it’s being worked on. I should have several parcels to pick up by then. Two are already in and waiting. One is something I finally broke down and ordered; a clear acrylic guard for my keyboard, to keep the cats from walking on it and digging under it! Ghosty in particular is truly dedicated to waiting until I’m in bed, then digging under my keyboard. She’s even knocked it right off my computer table at times! That and many is the time I’ve gone back to my computer and discovered all sorts of strange things have been opened, some of which I have no idea which keys got stepped on to find!

Anyhow.

Time to move on to things that don’t require much thought processing. Like laundry!

The Re-Farmer

Good, yet not good

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Well, I’m back from going to my mom’s for her med assist. I’m glad I went, in one sense, and wishing I hadn’t had to in another.

It wasn’t just my mother.

After I’d called my mom to let her know I’d be coming over to do her evening med assist, I had time to get a few things done. It was absolutely gorgeous out today, with temperatures just above freezing. I fed the outside cats early and took the time to check on the flexible hose on the emergency septic diverter. The black plastic had warmed up enough that I was able to get quite a bit of the thawing ice chunks out. It wasn’t in any danger of getting blocked by ice, but I still wanted to get as much out as I could.

While I was outside, my mother called back and left a message, asking if I could pick up some milk and croissants along the way. Since my sister introduced her to croissants, not that long ago, it has become her favorite thing to have with tea!

Which just meant leaving a little bit earlier.

The first problem was actually at home. We’re all pretty unhappy about how often homecare hasn’t been able to do my mother’s med assist, just in the short time since she got out of the hospital. My siblings have expressed their dissatisfaction, but they have also expressed their gratitude that I’ve been able to take care of it. It would be a lot more difficult for them to do it! My husband, however… well, along with his physical disability, he also has military related PTSD. With him, it was more anger, and he started taking his frustrations out on me. Which I don’t put up with.

We are not a couple that has arguments, as others do. We don’t raise our voices at each other, or anything like that. But when we disagree on things, and my husband recognizes that he is starting to get a PTSD rage response, he has medications and coping techniques to deal with them, which is what he resorted to.

I’ll just leave it at that.

When I headed out, my first stop was at the grocery store to get the stuff for my mother and, since I was there, to pick up more of the deli meats for ourselves that this store has at better prices than anywhere else I’ve seen. Then I went to the gas station to top up the truck and pick up my mother’s favorite fried chicken and wedges. I wasn’t sure if my mother would have had her supper yet, but I wanted to make sure she had something available so she wasn’t taking her meds on an empty stomach.

I’m glad I did. It looks like she was just going to heat up a can of cream of mushroom soup for her supper, and was out of milk to make it with.

After putting away her things, we sat down for our supper.

My mother was just looking for things to rage at today.

The first was about my having to drive soooooo far, just to give her her pills. The doctor wouldn’t want that! I told her, the doctor doesn’t care. He just cares that she gets her medications. Then she raged that she should can take her medications herself. I side tracked that. She started saying that home care should just come once a day, and leave her medications for the rest of the day ready for her. I told her, they can’t do that. They have very strict regulations they have to follow these days. They can’t even take pills out of the bottles, but only out of bubble packs.

Oh, you’re always taking their side, she says.

Then it came up about my brother visiting her yesterday, after having gone to the farm, first. I mentioned I had been out and missed them entirely, and that he’d just gone to tend to their truck, as a way of saying he was at the farm for a very short time.

Which my mother latched onto. She’d forgotten that they’d sold their property and everything was at the farm now. We weren’t talking about it, because if she remembered, she would end up telling our vandal about it, and that’s the last thing we need.

Well, I won’t get into how it went with that, but she went into another rage against my brother and started to literally invent scenarios in her head about how he was “keeping secrets” from her, among other far less pleasant things. It took some doing to calm her down and distract her.

All before we even finished eating our meal.

Once we were done eating and got her table clear, I got her supper meds out for her to take, while I made notes for the next home care person to see, then prepared her before bed medications and puffer, before putting everything else back into the lock box. Then I got her blood pressure machine, which she had hidden away in a closet, and tested her.

After that, I started changing her garbage and doing some clean up, when she asked me to do her water bottles. She fills various bottles of water she uses for drinking and cooking from a tap in the laundry room that has softened water, and they were all empty. So I took care of that, then washed her dishes, before getting ready to head home.

As I was getting my jacket on, I reminded her again to take her last meds between 8 and 9pm, when she told me she’d already taken her puffer.

…

What? When???

It turns out that, while I was filling her water bottles, she decided to take her inhaler dose.

This is not the first time she tried to do this with me. During one of the past evenings I’d gotten her evening meds ready, she suddenly decided she should take her puffer dose right way. I stopped her and said to take it with her before-bed medications. This is supposed to help her with her breathing at night (I don’t think it’s actually making a difference, but it’s a trial). It’s not going to help her much if she takes it too early.

When I found out she’d taken it, I told her all the same things again. She seemed surprised by it. I have no idea why she gets it in her head to take it so early. She takes a puff twice a day. With her morning meds then, about 12 hours later, with her before bed meds.

Thankfully, doing this won’t harm her, but if she can’t be relied on to wait 3 hours before taking her before bed medication, I may have to stop getting them ready for her on nights like tonight, when home care is short staffed for both evening med assists. I will have to go home, then come back 3 or 4 hours later.

She’s already losing it over the fact that I’m coming at all. If I start having to come in twice in one evening, I don’t know how she would handle it. She certainly would think that her own actions have anything to do with it, but it does add another layer of concern.

Thankfully, we’ve got a meeting with the home care case coordinator in a couple of days. I should give her a call tomorrow, just to let her know about my mother’s behaviour, as it’s not something I could tell her about, with my mother there. As concerning as it is, perhaps this is one more thing that will get my mother into long term care, as she has been wanting for months now.

I didn’t stay too much longer after that. Thankfully, the days are longer now, so it was still light out during the drive home, and I could actually see the deer, well in advance!

Once home, my priority was to update my siblings – and apologize to my brother and his wife. My simple comment about him coming out to the farm and why set her off, and now she’s going to be even worse towards him because of it. My mother keeps saying how she loves all us siblings equally, but her actions belie her words. The twisted hatred she has developed towards my brother has been getting so much worse. It bothered me less when it was directed at me, the first couple of years we were living here, than it does now that it’s directed at my brother. No one has done more to help her and take care of things for her than he has, for so many years. He deserves so much better than this!

*sigh*

So, on the one hand, I’m really glad I ended up going to my mother’s, today, as she ended up needing help with other things as well.

On the other hand…

*sigh*

It is what it is, and there is little we can do about it but, my goodness, it shouldn’t be this way!

The Re-Farmer

Well, so much for that…

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Today was supposed to be a home day. And it mostly was.

Then I got a phone call.

From home care.

They don’t have anyone do to my mother’s med assist for her two evening visits.

Which means I am going to soon be on my way to take care of that.

My mother came home from the hospital on Feb. 10. Today will be the 20th day since she’s been home and her meds set up with the lock box. In those 20 days, this evening will be the 4th time I’ve had to do a med assist due to short staffing. Technically, 7 times, since she has two evening visits, and I’ve had to prepare her before-bed pills, too. Plus, she has had two morning no-shows, where someone was scheduled to show up, didn’t, and they don’t know why.

It’s a good thing we’ve got a meeting already set up in a couple of days. I had no problem being the one for them to call if they are short staffed, but that was supposed to be a fairly rare occasion.

This is ridiculous.

The Re-Farmer

Home care follow up

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Today, I took my daughter to the town north of us for a medical scan appointment she had. After that, we went to the livestock supply store to pick up four 40 pound bags of kibble for the outside cats. My daughter hadn’t been to this store before, so she got to spend some time looking around before we headed out.

I had just started the truck to head out when my cell phone rang. Talk about perfect timing!

It was the home care coordinator, following up on the messages I’d left. The last one I left, I told her I was going to be out, and to call my cell phone.

The first thing to talk about was the med assist visit that didn’t happen, two mornings ago. Under normal circumstances, if a home care worker didn’t fulfill a med assist, a note would have been sent electronically to the case coordinator, letting her know why.

She never received any such notice. They only thing they have is a record saying the visit was not fulfilled. My mother was home, awake and waiting for the home care worker, so it’s not like someone knocked at the door and there was no answer. In fact, if that did happen, they would have contacted me about it so that a wellness check could be done.

They are still investigating, to find out what happened. This is the second time this has happened since my mother got out of the hospital, so in only a couple of weeks!

The other thing to talk about was my mother’s extra bubble packs being on her fridge. I know that, when my brother got the larger lock box, all the bubble packs were put into it. He’d even commented on how well they fit. So why were the unopened packs taken out, with only the active pack inside the box? None of us know.

I told her about my own evening med assist visits after being called because they were short staffed. I explained I’d made notes of what I’d done to include in the lock box for their records. She asked if the bubble packs were all in the lock box again and I explained that I was going to do that, but my mother started to get very angry and demanded the inactive pack be put on the fridge, so I did, but made sure it was pushed back far enough that my mother couldn’t reach it herself. I talked to her about my mother saying these would be her “emergency” pills, if no one showed up again, and about what I found when I got her old packs to take to the pharmacy, and brought the loose pills in an organizer I’d found. I explained to her about how my mother had through the pharmacy had changed her prescription in one medication because it looked different, when the only thing that changed was the supplier for that medication.

We also talked about my mother now having a folding, indoor walker on loan from the Senior’s Centre, to use instead of her cane, because of her fears of falling. We talked about her increased memory issues, some of which my mother recognizes, some she doesn’t, and my mother’s own concerns about her finding it harder to communicate.

I did remember to mention that my mother needs an assist for her feet to trim her toe nails. That is something that home care should be able to arrange though the system. If not, my SIL found the name of someone local that does foot care, assessments, nail trims, etc. that we could call.

The coordinator was quite concerned about my mother’s memory issues, as that has gotten noticeably worse, and there is the increase concern for her safety due to reduced mobility. She wanted to talk to my mother directly. So we booked a time for next week at my mother’s, and I will be there.

Then, as my daughter and I were driving home, my phone rang again. Not a number we recognized, but I figured it was probably home care about being short staffed again. My daughter answered and put it on speaker phone.

It was the home care scheduler, letting me know that they did not have someone to do my mother’s med assist tomorrow morning.

🫤

So I will have to do that. She was scheduled for 8:55am, so I will make sure to show up around that time. I’m doing the Costco run tomorrow anyhow, so I can just leave earlier and stop at my mom’s along the way.

Once we got home, I phoned my mother to fill her in. When I told her about the appointment next week, which will be at 10:30am, the first thing she said was, why isn’t it in the afternoon?

*sigh*

I told her, because that’s the time the case coordinator had available!

While we will be talking about the missed visit, which is still being investigated, I told my mother the coordinator will be asking all sorts of things, so this is the time to talk about her worst days. None of this “oh, I’ll be fine, I can manage” stuff! She wants to be in a nursing home, so she can’t be making light of the issues she’s having!

Then I told her about tomorrow morning, and how I am going to the city anyhow, so it’s not problem for me to stop along the way.

Her response?

Can’t you tell them how far way you are?

I told her, they know where live. I am the closest. This is how it works. If they are short staffed, they call me.

Can’t I just do my own medicines?

No.

I didn’t even try to explain about doctor’s orders again.

Then she started to say, when she missed her medications, she felt fine, so it wasn’t a problem. Basically, implying that if they can’t come in for the med assist, she can just skip her medications and it’s fine.

I reminded her, most of her medications are preventative. They’re there to keep her from having a problem, so she isn’t going to notice anything if she missed them once here, and once there. But if it happens too often, then it can cause problems. One of her medications, for example, is for stroke prevention. If she doesn’t take that medication, she isn’t going to feel a difference – until she has a stroke!

To which my mother started saying, do you remember that oval yellow pill? The one for stroke? Do you remember that pill?

I told her, I don’t remember exactly which is which, but I do remember the yellow oval pill.

My mother then started saying, the pill is different now. It’s smaller.

I reminded her of the last time she had issues with this, when the pharmacy changed suppliers and the colour was slightly different.

Oh, the colour is the same now…

I told her, that wasn’t the point. The point is that not all suppliers have exactly the same appearance, but the medication would be the same. So it would be just as strong? she asked. Yes, it would be the same prescription. That has not changed.

I’ve been looking through her bubble packs in the last couple of evenings. Aside from one new pill and one changed dosage, neither of which are oval yellow pills, her pills look exactly the same as always.

When I once again confirmed that I would stop at her place on my way to the city, she started going on about how I go to the city sooo often.

I reminder her, I go to the city twice to stock up, at the end of the month, when pay comes in. That’s it.

We’ve had this exact conversation several times now. To her, it just seems like I go to the city all the time, because she isn’t noticing that an entire month has gone by since the last time we talked and I mentioned I was going into the city.

We got some more snow that started while my daughter was getting her scan done, and we’re supposed to get more, off and on, through the night. It should be done during the wee hours of the morning. Not heavy snow, but I’ll definitely have to be careful about slippery highways tomorrow. Our expected high of the day is supposed to happen around 7am, and then it’s supposed to keep dropping for the next 22-24 hours, when we’re supposed to reach an overnight low of -25C/-13F on Saturday morning. We’re supposed to go from that to a high of -10C/14F on Saturday, and keep warming up to a high of 1C/34F on Sunday! Monday is supposed to be 3C/37F! After that, the highs are supposed to drop to below freezing again, but not by much.

Just a few more weeks, and it’ll officially be spring. We might even have most of the snow melted away by then!

Won’t that be nice!

The Re-Farmer

Well, almost…

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We’ve got another gorgeous day today. Our high ended up being 3C/37F, and things were melting all over the place. Even when I went out to do my morning rounds, when it was just below freezing still, it was just grand! I’m even finding a lot of extra trail cam files when I check them, triggered by cats going back and forth through the gate during the night. That camera is set to take 1 still shot, then a 10 second video, and the activity makes for some entertaining clips!

Also, those reflective collars work really well, glowing just like their eyes do in the infrared light. What I found interesting is that I can identify the feral tuxedo that had the injured eye so long ago. Only half of that eye reflects in the infrared light.

Yesterday, my bank app notified me of a pharmacy purchase, which I expected would have been a standard refill for my husband, to be delivered on Thursday. Since I was going to be in town anyhow, I decided to leave early enough to go to the pharmacy when it opened and pick up the meds before dropping off the truck. My husband asked me to pick up something else from a store across the street from the pharmacy, so I left a bit earlier to do that, too.

I left too early. 😄

The pharmacy turned out to be a very quick stop. There was no medication to pick up. They had forgotten to charge for my husband’s last refills. Since his medications are covered by both his private insurance and our provinces public insurance, sometimes he gets covered 90%, sometimes 100%, depending on the medication.

So that was a very quick stop, and picking things up across the street was also very quick. I ended up dropping the truck off at the garage more than 30 minutes early. Which is fine. I was expecting to just leave the keys with them and do other things. My appointment was at 10, but I viewed that more as a drop off time, depending on how busy they get.

They turned out to have an open bay already!

The owner/mechanic I usually talk to wasn’t there, though. He was sick, and there was another mechanic covering for him that I’d never met before.

So I went over with him, what was to be done besides just an oil change, and why. We got to talking about that check engine light being on and not being able to tell if it was the same sensor problem, or a new problem, without having to do an OBDII scan every time. He told me that he was constantly having to deal with sensor problems like that with GM vehicle. He’s got two, himself, and he has a hard time keeping up with them, lighting up his dash like a Christmas tree!

I hope the newer modals have fixed this issue!

After talking to him about the moisture in the system that has been causing issues, and that our mechanic is quite familiar with it, he said he would call our mechanic at home, just in case, to get any details he might need. I asked how long before I should come back, since I would be walking around town and might not hear a call or text. He said to come back around 11. I did make sure to mention that the needle on the oil gauge was at 0. He said that would be because of the sensor.

As I was leaving, I messaged the family and realized it was still only 9:30! Too early to go to the nearest places for breakfast.

In the end, I decided to stop at a grocery store I don’t usually go to. 1) because it’s in the middle of town, with tighter parking and 2) their prices tend to be a lot higher.

They did have a few things on good sale prices, though. I couldn’t get anything that needed to be refrigerated, though, so no taking advantage of the meat sales this time. Then, because all my bags where in the truck, I went ahead and bought another hard sided bag to carry it in. We can never have too many of those! They only had insulated ones with lids in the hard sided bags. More expensive, but worth it.

I used up enough time that I figured I could go to the DQ for “breakfast”, but…

They weren’t open?

The windows are tinted, so it’s hard to see if the lights are on inside, but the “open” sign wasn’t lit up. Eventually, I could make out someone inside wearing a high viz vest, but I couldn’t see anyone behind the counter.

Hmmm.

So I headed back to the garage, thinking I could stop at the hotel next to the garage and see if the Chinese food restaurant was open. The hotel’s doors are locked until 10am. I knew the restaurant was closed for their own holidays, but I couldn’t remember if they had reopened yet.

They reopen on March 21.

Okay.

I didn’t want to be carrying the bag around with me, since I can only carry heavier bags with my right arm, due to nerve damage in my left elbow, and that gets old fast. I thought I might be able to put it in the truck, but when I got there, it was up on the lift. They were okay with me leaving it in the office, though.

As I was leaving the office, the owner came in – and headed straight for my truck! He was sick and couldn’t work, but he still came in.

From there, I decided to try the DQ again. This time, I could see more people inside, including staff behind the counter. Their sign was still off, though. I went in and, sure enough, they were open. After placing my order, I told them about the sign. They had forgotten to flick the switch! 😄

With all the walking around, it was coming up to 10:30 by then, so I didn’t have to linger too long with my food before walking back to the garage. It was early, but I knew I could stay in their office waiting area if they weren’t done yet.

They were done.

When I sat at the desk to pay, I saw my keys with a note paper under it.

Hmmm…

As for the work done, they did not replace the sensor, but instead gave it another cleaning. That started off working, last time, and took almost $200 (including taxes and labour) off the final bill. Which was nice!

Then I asked about the list on the note paper.

The guy that worked on the truck noticed a few things that will need to be addressed. Things like the tires wearing more on the inside, so we’ll need a wheel alignment, a small tear in something I can’t remember the name of that might let grit in where it shouldn’t (we had that happen with our old van, too). Most importantly, it seems he found the source of an oil leak. The last time I was at the garage, he topped up the oil with half a litre. There is a plate on our vehicle where other, newer vehicles have a warmer, and the seal on that plate is leaking every so slowly. Which would explain why we never see any sign of a leak under the truck! There were a couple of other things he noticed, too. Nothing to stop us from using the vehicle normally, though. Our mechanic promised to message me a detailed estimate, including which things would be more of a priority. Fixing that oil leak would be really cheap, as it just needs a new gasket.

The final bill was $257.72 after taxes. I was expecting closer to $400. Most of the bill was the oil change and labour. The oil system cleaner was only $20, and the new filter was less than $7.

That done, I was ready to head home, started the truck and…

The check engine light was back on, and the oil gauge was at zero.

???

So I went back in and told the owner/mechanic.

He was very surprised when I told him this, and went to see for himself, and I gave him the keys to start it up (he walks faster than me! 😄). He was very apologetic and said he’s hope the cleaning would have been enough, but obviously, the sensor will need to be replaced completely. They will have to order it in.

So, I will be back for that. We’ll figure out when, once he orders the part and gives me the estimates for the other work.

*sigh*

The truck is purring like a kitten, though.

Since I did my errands earlier, I didn’t have to make any other stops and was able to head straight home. Which was good, because I had time to try and nap, having had a very sleepless night.

Now I’m extra glad I got that nap.

As I was writing the above, I got a phone call from my mother. While we were talking, my cell phone started ringing.

I saw an unfamiliar number and had a feeling I needed to answer it.

I was right. It was home care.

The scheduler was letting me know they did not have anyone to do my mothers supper and evening med assist for tonight AND tomorrow.

I had my cell on speakerphone, so my mother could her this, and said that no one showed up this morning.

!!!!!

I relayed that and she checked. Sure enough, her sheet said my mother’s morning visit was unfulfilled – but there was no reason given.

I asked her to see if she could find out and let me know, while confirming I would go my mother’s med assists for tonight and tomorrow.

My mother is really ticked off, because she feels she can, and should, be going her meds herself. She doesn’t want me to have to drive all that way to do her meds. I told her, I get to visit her this way. So she changed track and said, who is going to pay for the gas (she gives me gas money and has been very generous with that, so it’s not an issue right now). I told her, there is a program available where they cover the cost of fuel; I just have to find out how to apply for it. That seemed to satisfy her a bit. She was still staying, she can take her own medications, and she should be doing it herself. I told her, DON’T (the extra bubble packs are stored on her fridge for some reason). This is doctor’s orders, for her safety.

I then told her I wanted to call the case coordinator about this, because this is a real problem. Not that they’re calling me to do a med assist, but because this is not the first time since my mother has had the lock box – which is just a couple of weeks – that someone simply didn’t show up, and I never got a call about it. Unfortunately, I didn’t get off the phone fast enough; the office had just closed. So I left a message.

Then called back and left another message with my cell phone number, letting her know to call that number, because I’m going to be in the city tomorrow.

My daughter will be coming with me to assist, as needed.

As for me, I am going to be heading to my mother’s soon. I want to get there before she starts trying to get those bubble packs off her fridge and decides to take them early. I got the times her visits were scheduled, so I can work about that.

Time to boot up and heat out!

So glad the truck is done and checked over.

So glad I got that nap!

The Re-Farmer