I got about 3 hours of sleep last night. First, I was awakened by Turmeric going after Nosencrantz. Then I had Fenrir climb on top of my stomach, demanding pets. Then Butterscotch came over for attention which, for some reason, requires that she get her claws caught in my sheets, repeatedly, before Potato Beetle came over and wanted pets, too. It’s rather hard to pet three cats at the same time!
After a few more aggressive incidents with Turmeric, I finally gave up and headed outside to do my morning rounds, early.
I spotted a couple of kittens in the sun room as I went through from the kitchen, but they quickly hid. Later, while checking on the garden beds, I spotted a very wet Adam crossing the garden from the road. The morning dew was really excessive, and I was getting soaked half way to my knees, and I wasn’t even walking in the tall grass!
Adam appreciated breakfast, but would not let me come any closer.
Nor could I get close to Not-Junkpile. It might be a while before we can giver her that ear mite medication! But we have to do it quickly, considering how madly she’s injuring herself with scratching.
Decimus and her babies are doing quite well. My daughter and I headed to the city and stopped at the clinic to drop off the extra medication we got by mistake. They were very happy I did that! 😄 While there, I mentioned being able to grab a yard cat right after she had her babies and bring her in, and that she likely has ear mites, too. She agreed. Since I was there anyhow, I bought a second dose for Decimus. She, at least, will be easier to get ahold of!
We did our errands in the city, then picked up gas at Costco, for both the car and the lawn mowers. While in town yesterday, I was shocked to find that gas prices had dropped from 158.9 cents/litre to 149.9/litre. We usually see prices jump by that much, but never drop by that much. Costco was still at 145.9/L, and the gas station was insanely busy. We saw other people filling their jerry cans, too. For the lawnmowers, we only use Premium, which was 165.9/L
Before we left, my daughter and I looked into the sun room from outside, and saw at least 5 kittens playing in a group, with several others ducking in and out of view.
After we got home, I looked again from the inside of the house, and spotted Adam with a white and grey. They are both mamas, but it seems to me there are actually three litters combined.
One of Adam’s kittens looks almost exactly like her! It looks like there is a second tuxedo, or something very close to a tuxedo pattern, among her brood as well. The younger ones seem to belong to the white and grey mama. The tuxedo that has been handing around for a while seems very happy to have other kittens to keep him company, now! I get the impression he is older than all the other kittens.
While running our errands today, we were able to pick up more bell collars. They are a lot cheaper in the city! The two boys that spray are now belled. Next, we wanted to bell the more aggressive females. We got a black one with white skulls and crossbones for Turmeric, as it suits her catonality! Tissue got a pink one, to stand out on her white fur. The third went to Fenrir, as she tends to harass Nosencrantz, too. That one is pale green and glows in the dark.
Turmeric didn’t like the colour, but seemed to get used to it quickly. My daughter got Tissue upstairs, and I think she slept through ti! Fenrir, on the other hand, was not a happy camper!
The main thing is, we should be able to hear them before they get into trouble!
Decimus contentedly nursing one of her babies. The other three put themselves in the cat cave.
Bringing Decimus and her babies indoors has had an unexpected benefit.
I can now open my door, and leave it open. Not overnight, and I prefer it closed if there isn’t anyone up and about to hear if there are problems, but open nonetheless.
Before bringing her in, if I was in my room, I was constantly opening and closing the door to let a stream of “safe” cats in and out. The cats that Marlee, Butterscotch and Nosencrantz were okay with, and that generally did not try to attack Nosencrantz. It basically came down to Turmeric being the only one that could not be allowed in the room, because she would go straight for Nosencrantz, and Tissue was touch and go. It took her a bit longer, but she would start stalking Nosencrantz and was generally really high strung.
Once Decimus came in, some of the usual cats would come into the room, see her and the babies and suddenly leave! After awhile, they stopped wanting to come in at all. Cheddar was pretty much the only one that was calm about it, but even he doesn’t want to come in as often anymore. Leyendecker still acts like he wants to come in, but as soon as he sees Decimus and the babies, he might sniff a bit, but usually wants out again, right away. Especially if Decimus is out of the cage and lounging on the carpet nearby.
Decimus actually wants out of the room. She wants to wander around the house and explore. I don’t think she has discovered the upstairs, yet. Since we want her to be able to go back to her babies quickly, the door gets left open.
The other cats still aren’t sure about her, but she so obliviously ignores any hissing or growling, sniffing and stalking, they tend to back off. Or get really startled when she walks past them and rubs her body against them on the way by. It’s like “I’m threatening you! Why are you hugging me?!?”
With the kittens in my room, pretty much none of the cats try to come in when the door is open. They might go through the doorway for a moment, look around, then leave. Even Turmeric won’t go much past the door. There was one time she’d come in and was under a stool, so we didn’t notice her when we closed the door. I discovered her when I heard a sudden cat altercation (I can’t really call it a fight) between Turmeric and, I think, Marlee. I dashed over (as much as this broken body can “dash” anywhere) to open the door and Turmeric ran out with her tail puffed out like a bottle brush! She hasn’t tried to come in, since.
Which means that now, after months of having to keep my door closed to prevent cats from going after Nosencrantz, I can now keep my door open again. All thanks to a tiny little mama that is completely oblivious to the curiosity and/or aggressive behaviour of other cats.
It also means that Marlee, Nosencrantz and Butterscotch can leave the room on their own, if they want.
None of them have bothered. Even Marlee, who sometimes does decide she wants out, has shown no interest in going out that door.
Hopefully, that will change and I can start leaving my door open when I’m asleep, too!
In other things, I was up way too late last night, after finally being able to recover my original, personal Facebook account. It was stolen on May 2, and I’ve been going through it to look for damage done. My total friend’s list count had gone down, which was no surprise. I knew that quite a few of my friends that joined me on my new account had either unfriended or blocked my original account after the thief had DM’d them to try and scam them, or they had interactions with the thief when sketchy posts were being made from my account. I also saw a lot of new names I’ve never seen before. So far, I’ve been leaving public posts to let people know that my account was recovered, and that anyone who got a friend request or message from my account after May 2, it was not me, but the thief. This morning, I found the blocked list and unblocked a lot of my friends and family, but saw a whole bunch of unfamiliar names, too. I suspect these are people the thief had successfully scammed, or people who called them out as a scammer. I don’t know what to do about these new names, yet, but once I unblocked the people I knew, I posted another public message that they would finally be able to see, too, explaining the situation.
It’s Messenger that is really going to take time to deal with. The thief was very busy there! From the looks of it, a lot of the thief’s attempts to contact people simply got ignored, which likely means they had already clued in that my account was stolen. It’s the ones that I see had actual conversations that I will have to go through and assess the damage done under my name.
I’m glad I didn’t give up trying to recover my account, but I can sure see why so many people do. So many people were reporting my original account and scam posts being made from there, it really should have been shut down long ago. Since I couldn’t see any posts being made from my original account, due to privacy settings, all I could do was report the profile as imitating me, until the thief changed the public name and profile picture. Then I kept reporting it as a fake account with a fake name. I was reporting it as close to every day as I could, as well as repeatedly going through the recovery process. Then I would use every feedback option I encountered to explain the problems I was having. I would also post updates on my new account, tagging Facebook, telling people on my friends list what was going on, as well as the occasional public post, in case people who knew me were trying to look my up to see what was going on. As frustrating as it was, I fully intended to keep it up as long as I possibly could. I simply was not willing to accept that someone out there was scamming people under my name, without doing something about it.
I don’t have a lot of time to spend on this, and I want to be thorough about it. If that means directly contacting people to let them know that they had been dealing with a stolen account and not me, I want to take time to do it right. So that means I’ll still be using my new account a lot, still. Especially for direct messages.
It’s a pain in the butt, but I really want to repair as much damage done under my name as possible.
Here we have the first kitten whose eyes are fully open!
I’ve been noticing one kitten with eyes that seemed to be slowly opening more and more, and now they are completely open! It seems quite okay with being held, too. Unlike one of the other tabbies I picked up and cuddled yesterday, that was making spitting noises at me. Eyes very much still closed.
Mom is still looking decidedly scruffy! It’ll be awhile before all that clipped fur grows back.
Decimus is actually wanting to leave the room. Last night, I opened the door for her, and she went wandering. She even went into the basement, but the floor there is so damp, she didn’t stay long. She really likes the water fountain!
The other cats were very curious about her. Tissue was the one I kept the closest eye on, because she seemed to be actually stalking Decimus. Much to my surprise, Turmeric wasn’t very aggressive. She didn’t like seeing a new cat around, but didn’t do much of anything other than look startled, when Decimus walked past her and basically body slammed her as she want by, rubbing up against her. Decimus almost ignored the other cats as she explored. If another cat came up to sniff at her face, she would sniff back and keep going. Others would follow her along, sometimes close enough to sniff at her. Curious, but not aggressive.
Which is really something. Decimus has been in the house for less than 2 weeks, yet she’s doing better with the other cats in this one exposure to them than Marlee or Nosencrantz, after being here for months! Marlee, at least, does want to leave the room every now and then, but backs off when she sees other cats. Nosencrantz won’t go near the door, never mind out of it.
The outside cats, meanwhile, are doing just fine. That’s Caramel on the other side of Adam’s big fuzzy tale. I’m actually kinda glad she moved her kittens. We got quite a bit of rain last night, then more rain this morning. The ground under the cat house is no longer dry, even though no water actually runs under there.
Oh, and Adam has been letting me pet her! Not all the time, but when she does, I’ve been able to get some really good, friendly response.
I joked with the girls that we should rename Adam, Eve, now that we know that he is a she – and a mom, now, too! Unlikely, but I thought it was funny. 😉
We had the tax assessor lady come in this morning. I remembered to ask her if she were allergic to cats. She hesitated before saying, as long as she doesn’t touch any, she’s okay.
So, of course, Gooby came over and started rubbing on her bare lower legs! At one point, I had to distract him because I could see he was building up to jump up and climb her!
Gooby would be an excellent cat to adopt out. Talk about friendly!
The assessor took pictures of all the buildings, and took external measurements of the house and garage. Since other buildings are basically used for storage (or have collapsed), she didn’t need anything more from those. She did have to go through all the rooms of the house and take pictures to show the structure. Things like the new roof – and the removal of the chimney for the wood furnace – were things she took note of. The status of the sun room and old kitchen, which are not heated or insulated, were details she needed. When she saw the old wood cookstove, we talked a bit about how it was what we cooked on when I was a kid, but it can’t be used anymore, even if I were able to repair it. She even commented on how a lot of the old houses were like what we have; wood burning stoves close to the wall, and heat shields non-existent.
Then she made some notes. I think knowing that the stove can’t be used was an important detail. She even made note of things like the new hot water tank, and took pictures of the electrical panel for the electric furnace, as well as the main panel.
So that’s over and done with. I hope this assessment will mean lower tax bills for my brother!
Then, this afternoon, we finally had our Father’s Day/birthday pizza night! With cake and ice cream still to come.
It has worked out to be a beautiful day, today. Much cooler (22C/72F feels cool, after the heat we’ve been having!), with lovely rain this morning, and now finishing up with a much delayed celebratory meal, that someone else cooked.
Early this morning, we were already at 20C/68F, and I don’t think we got any cooler overnight. We did have a series of thunderstorms pass us by during the night. Plenty of lightning visible. Here, we got some rain, thankfully! Enough to noticeably change the level of water in the rain barrel, at least.
By the time I headed outside, it was already 25C/77F. With the heat yesterday, and today expected to be even hotter, I mowed the inner yard last night, starting quite late. By the time I was done, there was barely any light left. This morning, I could see the parts I missed in the dark! 😄 No matter. At least the main areas got done. Around the main garden area and the rest of the outer yard still need to be done.
I am so appreciating the loan of that riding mower!!!
No mowing today, though. We’re supposed to reach 33 or 34C/91 – 93F today. More storms are supposed to come through, so hopefully we’ll get more rain. My younger daughter and I will be going to the city today, and they are supposed to reach 36C/97F today. Thankfully, the AC in my mother’s car works!
I just got interrupted by some alarmed squeaking.
From these guys.
We put the cat cave into the cat cage, but the kittens don’t want to be in there. They can crawl out, but can’t get back in, anyhow. Last night, I heard alarmed squeaking, and when I checked, Decimus had moved two of them into the cat cave, so I quickly put the other two with her.
Just now, I checked the cage and saw three squeakers, but heard another squeak from somewhere else.
My closet.
I have boxes at the bottom of one end to protect the floor, because Nosencrantz kept pooping there. Decimus discovered she could get into one of them and had moved a kitten into it! This is not a good place for them, so I took it out and put it back in the cat cage. Decimus was in the cave again, with one of her kittens, so I put the remaining three in with her.
One cat has not moved her kittens, though.
So far, Caramel is keeping her babies under the cat house.
I have no idea what Adam is trying to do to her in the photo, but it’s funny looking, and I’m glad I caught the moment!
There are at least three kittens under there. Looks like an orange and white, a tortie or muted calico, and a grey tabby. There’s a leg on the orange and white’s head that I can’t figure out, so there is probably a fourth kitten in there, somewhere.
They are so close to the opening, I’m seriously considering pulling them out and putting them in the cat carrier. Caramel would likely go in with them – I’ve actually been able to pet her when she’s on the cat house roof! – but then what would we do with them? We can’t put them in baby jail with Decimus. There’s not enough room. We have no other space for them. The Cat Lady isn’t able to take in more cats or kittens, either.
So, they stay where they are, for now. At least they’re still close to the house, nice and dry, and protected from the heat.
Snarly Marlee, taking a break from snarling at Decimus!
She’s doing quite well, actually. She’s been sleeping with me more often, and has even been making like she wants to leave the room, though when I open the door for her, she tends to back off.
As for Decimus, the other cats are getting used to her. I’ve seen her and Nosencrantz, both on top of the cat cage, next to each other. They were eyeing each other, but not being aggressive in any way. Even Butterscotch seems to have accepted her presence.
When other cats try to come into the room, though, they are not sure what to make of the new family! Leyendecker has come over to the cat cave, sniffing at Decimus, only to leap in astonishment and run away when the kittens started mewing. Other cats dash in ahead of me, see Decimus, freeze, then run out of the room again.
Very strange!
Meanwhile, today we continue to catch up on house stuff. One of my daughter’s goals is to mop the kitchen floor (a difficult thing, since the lino is worn down to the subfloor in places) before we put the interlocking foam mats down in front of the sink and the stove.
Last night, I came into the dining room to find this.
*sigh*
It’s not even out of the packaging yet, and already it’s being torn up by the cats! I’m hoping it will at least last until the next Costco trip. I believe they still have the heavy duty shop mats in stock. The cats shouldn’t be able to claw those up. At least, not right away. If Costco doesn’t have them in stock anymore, I did see them at a local hardware store, though that was months ago, and I don’t know if they regularly stock them.
There is just something about these mats that the cats can’t resist!
I stepped out for a moment, and came back to find Decimus had left baby jail, and was exploring my office/bedroom.
Which gave me a chance to get this photo.
Just look at that adorable little tongue blep!
Decimus was willing to sniff at my fingers when I held out my hand, but was very nervous and skittish.
Then she found the other food bowls that still had wet cat food in them, and cleaned them all up!
I left the room again for a while, and when I came back, she was curled up with her kittens again.
While she may not have been willing to let me touch her while she was out and about, if we reach in to give her ear and neck scritches while she’s with her kittens, then pull our hands away, she will actually reach out and grab our hands to pull them back for more pets!
She seems to be coming around to this whole “humans might be okay after all” thing.
We had an almost quiet night with Decimus and the babies. At one point, I was awakened by scratching that I thought for sure was Nosencrantz at the window again… but Nosencrantz was curled up next to my head!
It turned out to be Decimus. She had gone up onto the bed above where her kittens are (the cat cage has four “rooms” on two levels along one side) and was scratching at the cardboard on the roof. The carboard is under some towels, as cats like to sit on top of the cage, but their feet were pushing the towels through the open squares.
When she heard me moving around, Decimus stopped clawing at her “ceiling”. Soon after, though, I heard more useful scratching – in her litter box! So she has most definitely figured out what to do with that.
Babies having breakfast!
Motherhood suits her. She’s absolutely blissful and content, and enjoying when we reach in to pet her. A complete switch from the cat that would run away any time we came close, unless we managed to start scritching her neck and ears while she was busy eating and didn’t notice us coming close.
Her entire back is one huge mat of fur. Like armour plating.
Last night, I briefly took the kittens out and lay them together on my bed. Decimus stayed in the cage and rolled around to let me pet her belly. I managed to get her out and put her on the bed with her babies, but she got nervous and tried to go back into the cage! She was a bit confused on how to get in, though, as the “door” is on the second level, and she didn’t realize she needed to jump it. I picked her up and put her in, and she immediately settled down.
Also, she is really, really enjoying wet cat food. While the other, fussier cats turned their noses up at the food bowls when I did the evening feeding, she not only finished off her own share, but when I switched bowls and gave her what other cats ignored, she ate that, too. In the end, she had almost an entire can, all to herself. Usually, they get split 3 or 4 ways, depending on how many cats I have in the room at the time.
In doing my morning rounds, I counted only 14 adult cats. One of them was The Distinguished Guest. Then I saw Sad Face coming across the outer yard. So there’s a recipe for cat fights starting. 🙁 The mama with her two kittens are still in the cat house, which is good.
Of course, I checked all the garden beds. The transplants seem to be doing all right. The raspberries we planted this spring are starting to bloom! We might actually get raspberries off of them. I would not have expected that until next year. The raspberries that predate us, growing around the old compost pile and among flowers near the main garden area, are also blooming. Looks like we’ll have quite a bit, this year. I even found one of the Sweet Chocolate peppers has started to bloom!
We have a bit of a mystery between the Sweet Chocolate peppers, and those last tiny shallots I stuck into the end of the bed. A squash has sprouted! I have no idea what kind it is, or where it came from. The soil topping up this bed was from the pile of garden soil we bought. I’m curious as to what it might turn out to be. I’ll probably transplant it, though, because a squash in that spot would end up covering the shallots and probably the peppers and nearby thyme, as well.
The down side is those horrible Chinese Elm seeds are starting to sprout. There are so many of them, I think they choked out the bok choy and lettuce we planted next to the peas. There’s just no way to brush or scoop away so many seeds. We’ll be pulling seedlings out of the garden beds all over the place for the next while.
I really look forward to when we can take down all those Chinese elms. I think I’ll start with the smaller ones on the north side of the main garden area. I’m okay with leaving the maples in there for now, but those elms have got to go!
Well, Decimus and her babies had a very quiet first night indoors!
One thing that has always been distinctive about Decimus is her teeny, tiny quiet meow. Which really isn’t much louder than her kittens!
When I did the wet cat food last night, she absolutely devoured her share. She has been allowing head pets – we can’t reach much else in the cage – and enjoying them. We’ve been handling her babies, and she’s been okay with that, too. At one point, I even found her in another part of the baby cage, while her kittens were asleep in a pile, enjoying a bit of a break. I could tell that the litter had been used, as well. So she is settling in and figuring things out.
When I did the outside cat food this morning, I checked through the cat house window, and could just make out the two kittens sleeping inside. The mother was outside, eating, at the time. So far, so good, with them.
The only trouble I’ve been having lately is with Nosencrantz. The cat that refuses to leave my room has increasingly tried to claw her way out the window. This morning, I was awakened by the noise and found her somehow behind the box fan that blocks the window andthe extra screen I’ve got to cover a gap on one side and the piece of cardboard to help keep the screen in place. Thank goodness we replaced the window screen with cat proof screen! So far, it seems to be holding up. My main concern right now is that she’ll simply pull the mesh right out of the frame.
Things have really cooled down. Last night, it was almost chilly! We’re coming up on noon as I write this, and we’re still at only 15C/59F. It’s gorgeous! Now, if the wind could just die down a bit. I’ve actually moved all the transplants off the picnic table under the old market tent and put them back on the laundry platform set up. The tent sheltered them, but they weren’t getting enough sunlight for too long. Some of the Spoon tomatoes were so gangly that, when Gooby decided to be really, really friendly while I was setting the trays down, two of them ended up breaking off at the stems. I just replanted them. They’ll probably be fine. We have so many, though, and may not get enough space to plant them, so we can afford to loose a few, if it comes to that.
Yesterday’s transplants are looking good. No sign of transplant shock, so far.
It’s coming up on 7pm as I write this. We’re finally down to 24C/75F, from reaching 32C/90F earlier. All the thunderstorms we’re getting warnings about are going around us. We haven’t even been getting a smattering of rain.
The house is getting ridiculously hot and muggy. Even the cats are feeling it.
They moved before I could get a picture of Cheddar and Ginger, sleeping with their foreheads pressed against each other. My room is one of the coolest in the house, but not by much. The upstairs has been getting so hot, my younger daughter woke up this morning feeling sick from the heat. Cold showers and baths help, but only so much.
I called my mother last night and arranged for her to come out to the farm, now that the grass is cut and she can actually get around in her walker. She’s been talking about wanting to see the new roof she paid for. When I actually called to arrange it, though, suddenly she was hemming and hawing, as if trying to find some excuse not to. I guess she would have preferred to have my sister bring her out for an unplanned visit again, instead, like that last couple of times she came out here. Then she can get mad at me for being in my work clothes, or interrupt any work I was doing so I would have to drop it to tend to her, then complain because the work wasn’t getting done…
She did finally agree to come out, so we arranged for me to come to her place after church, and have lunch at a restaurant before coming to the farm. She started insisting I not to bring food from the Chinese restaurant like I did last time, so said we could go to a different restaurant and she was good with that. She has gone from really liking the Chinese restaurant, to not wanting food from there anymore, and I’m at a loss as to what’s going on. I did try asking her, and she made a comment about seeing a lot of cats running around lately…
???
My guess is, one of her neighbours made a disparaging remark or joke about Chinese food and cats, and she now thinks they are serving cat meat. And now she’s suddenly noticing cats running around outside her building which, in her mind, confirms it (though you’d think seeing a lot of cats around would mean the exact opposite, but this is my mother, we’re talking about here! 😄)
I left a bit early so I could pick up some drinks and a snack we could have outside while she was here. While driving out, I passed a farm with a full dugout right near the road. It was full of cows, just standing in the water, trying to cool down!
When I got to her place, she already had the table set and microwaved Costco perogies and kielbasa for us to have for lunch. When I mentioned I thought we were going to a particular restaurant, she just said, “to heck with [restaurant]”.
Aside from not wanting to eat her supply of food, my mother’s cooking habits have always been very hit and miss, and today was more miss than hit. There’s a reason we tend to take my mother out or bring food in when we visit her!
Anyhow.
After a bit of a visit, we headed off to the farm.
*sigh*
Just from how conversation went before we left, I knew there would be issues, but then, there pretty much always are. An odd one was when she suddenly started saying, “we can take that road!” indicating in the direction of a road we just passed, and then a driveway that looked like it rarely gets used. I was totally confused when she kept insisting we could take a different road to get to the farm. At this point, we were driving through a set of curves about half way between her town and the farm. It wasn’t until she added, “so we don’t have to drive by [our vandal]” that I figured out which road she meant.
I told her, we’re still driving through the curves. We’re nowhere near the turnoff to the farm. Plus, I don’t take that road. It’s not kept up as well, and is hard on her car. On top of that, I don’t think our vandal even recognizes my mother’s car. When we finally did reach the road she meant, she did recognize it, but it was very confusing for her to suddenly suggest a different route, never mind getting our location so mixed up!
Once at the farm, I made sure to drive right into the yard and park in the shade. I got her walker out and she settled under a tree. She had insisted we bring along two ice cream buckets of vegetable peelings, etc. for the compost pile. For “Mother Earth” she now says. She also brought along a couple of plant pots; one with some flowers that were blooming, and one with a couple of little trees she removed from her own little garden plot, insisting that I need to plant them somewhere here on the farm. One is a maple, the other an elm. I don’t know what kind of elm, which makes me very hesitant about planting it.
After I got things settled, my mother started walking around the house. For someone who wanted to see the new roof, she showed zero interested in going anywhere where she could actually see it.
The next while was… challenging.
Let’s see what she came up with…
Quite a few times, she would ask “what’s that?” or “why is that there?” while being very vague on her directions. When I didn’t understand she was indicating the box beds in the west yard, she then declared that those had nothing planted in them this year. Once I figured out what she was talking about, I told her that they had carrots, corn and spinach in them. She couldn’t see them from the house, therefore there was nothing there.
While sitting in the shade in view of the main garden area, knowing she wouldn’t be up to going any closer, I described to her what was in each of the beds, and what was in the grow bags. I could tell she wasn’t really listening to me when she suddenly asked “Is that garlic?” I told her (again), yes, and that we lost a lot of them over the winter; there was far less than we planted. She then said that I needed to give her some. I told her they’re not ready yet. That’s okay, she told me. She eats the greens.
Some of the soft neck garlic was coming up in clusters instead of single bulbs, so I went ahead and thinned a couple of those and gave them to her.
Over the next while, I was told I should have weeded around the raspberries (the self seeded ones in her old flower bed) and loosened the soil around them, and I should have cut down that dead apple tree, and I should not have cut the suckers away from the (now very healthy looking) chokecherry tree, and I should remember what those still small flowers she planted there more than a decade ago are called, and I was laughed at for growing potatoes in grow bags. Then as we moved to another area, she squeezed her walker in between the pile of bricks that used to be the chimney and a stack of wood, rather than going around where there was more room, and I was told they were in the way and I needed to move them… even though I just told her we were going to move them once we figured out where we wanted to use them. Nope. I must move them out of her way for purely aesthetic reasons. I tried to show her the potatoes that are doing so well in the old kitchen garden, but she was only interested in her invasive Periwinkles. Had zero interest in anything we were actually growing. Moving on, why is that fence there? I’d told her a few times about it being there to protect the tulips and the new apple tree from the deer. What tulips? They were done blooming, so I guess they no longer existed. Then she saw some white flowers that are blooming. What are those? I have no idea, Mom. You planted them!
Then she made her way to the fire pit area, where the trays of transplants now live. We no longer take them indoors. I was then chastised for having so many tomatoes, and they need to be planted right now, and everything should be planted, and what are those big things over there? And I should sell my extra tomatoes because they are very healthy looking, and I could make some money from them. Don’t the girls help you with the garden? Then she got mad when I showed her the tiny strawberries I started from seed, because there’s not fruit there! They don’t have fruit! They’re not going to have fruit! I finally said, “next year!” and suddenly she was mollified.
And on it went.
Finally, we settled in the shade of the south yard, and I set up a bench to use as a table, and we had our drinks and a snack.
Judgement joined us, staying nearby and rolling in the cool grass!
I was chastised for the cranberry juice (I chose it because it’s what she buys for herself), but when I went to add Ginger Ale to make a punch, she was suddenly happy. Juice bad. Ginger Ale, good. She then refused to eat the blueberry mini strudels I brought, because she really avoids sugar now.
…
As we sat and chatted, she then got quiet before saying, “I guess the girls don’t want to see me.” I’d already told her that my older daughter was in bed after working last night, my husband was in bed because the heat makes his pain so much worse, and my younger daughter was doing laundry (she was also sick from the heat and trying to cool down with cold baths and showers, but I wasn’t going to get into that). Ah, but they don’t know! If they came to see me, I would give them money!
…
I reminded her of what I said before, but she dismissed it, of course.
Shortly after, I got a message from my younger daughter, letting me know she was almost done and about to come out, soon.
I told my mother this.
Suddenly, she was ready to leave.
We had been hearing thunder for a while, and the wind had picked up, and my mother kept saying the rain was coming closer. It wasn’t, but weather does what it does. I started to put some things away, then turned around to find her putting herslef into the car. She wasn’t going to wait for my daughter!
I kept putting things away, though, taking enough time that my daughter could make it out. She then suggested she come along with us for the drive, which I happily accepted. The back seats on my mother’s car are laid down so we can put her walker in without having to fold it, so while my daughter went to open the gate, I quickly moved things around and got a seat up for her.
The conversation during the drive was only slightly uncomfortable, with my mother asking my daughter odd questions, then switching to Polish to tell me I need to have the girls help me put transplants in the garden, so they know how to do it.
They, of course, know full well how to put in a garden.
Once at my mother’s place, we stayed for a brief visit, until my mother suddenly veered into a racist rant, and my daughter suggested it was time to leave!
Which we did.
We stopped to get gas first, and I picked up some fried chicken for my daughter, as she had been too sick to have breakfast. We then parked the car with the AC going to eat. That gave me a chance to decompress by filling her in on how the visit went.
The whole thing left me feeling more tired than the 8 or so hours working outside in the heat, yesterday, did!
My husband and daughters all question why my brother and I haven’t just cut my mother off completely by now. Which we won’t do, because that would be wrong. Plus, my being here helps my brother out. He’d be the target of all her venom and bizarre behaviour, otherwise. She doesn’t really do it with our sister anymore, for some reason. But my goodness, it does get hard to “Honour thy father and thy mother” at times!
Well, it is what it is, and there’s not much we can do about it. Chances are, it’s going to get worse as she gets older, too. Or, I should say, keep getting worse.
We will handle it. That’s all we can do!
I am sure glad to get this over with, though, and I hope she won’t find another reason to want to come out here. Quite a difference from when we first moved here, and she still owned the property, when she told me that now that we were taking care of the farm for her, she never wanted to go back here again! Now when she doesn’t own it anymore, she still wants to use it to try and control me and my brother.
Ah, well. Such is life in our corner of the world.
Before I get into today, I just had to share what I saw yesterday, while doing my evening rounds.
One of the things that got done was switching the winter window to the old basement to the summer window. This spring, things are wet enough that we are starting to have moisture seeping through the concrete floors, and the sump pump is going off every now and then. Nothing like what we were dealing with last year, of course, but more typical than the dry years we had previously.
The summer window is one that I built a few years ago to replace the makeshift cover that was being used before. Having air circulation through there helps keep the old basement from getting too damp and humid. My brother built a platform on the inside to hold a box fan to blow air out of the basement that helped, too, but that disappeared before we moved in.
We have a cat barrier between the two basements. The opening in the old basement wall was basically bashed out, so it’s uneven on the sides, making it impossible have a proper door. We have a wire mesh frame over it that was meant to be easily moved to one side if we needed to cross through. The old basement has the pumps, sump pump reservoir and breakable stuff, so we want to keep the cats out. In the end, we have had to brace the barrier with stuff on one side, while having Bungee cords holding it in place on the other.
Well, it wasn’t enough.
I was trying to see what Gooby was finding so interesting down there, and found a Susan on the window’s platform, looking back!
I messaged the picture to my family and my younger daughter went down to take care of it. She found David and Big Rig in there, too!
They could get in, but couldn’t get back out, and were very eager to leave when she opened the door!
Later, with her in the new basement and me in the old basement, we managed to secure the barrier a bit more. Hopefully, it will be enough!
I had a different surprise this morning, when checking the gate. When the snow melted enough that we could finally close it, it was like this.
They had shifted quite a lot over the winter!
If it had shifted a small amount, we could micro adjust the nuts on the J pins that make up the hinges, but for that distance, the gate posts themselves would have to be adjusted – once we brought out a level to see which one had moved the most.
Well, that’s no longer an issue. This is what it looked like, this morning!
I haven’t been able to slide that pin through so easily in probably a year!
That’s a lot of shifting in less than a month!
The funny thing is, I got a call from my sister in law this afternoon. She and my brother were on their way with the arm chair they were passing on to us, plus my brother was bringing tools so he could fix the gate! I was happy to tell her, it no longer needed fixing!
And that was our big change in plans.
After dropping off the armchair, they were going to visit my mother and take her out to dinner and invited me to come along, which I decided to do.
But first, we had to clear a path from the door to the living room for a rather wide armchair. Then, when they got here, I was on both door duty and cat duty, while my brother maneuvered it through. My SIL can’t come into the house, though, as she is quite allergic to cats. So my brother just left the chair on its side in the living room, waiting for the legs to be put back on. After a quick visit to the sun room to see all the transplants, they headed out and I followed in my mother’s car.
The plan had been for my SIL to be dropped off at a restaurant first, then my brother would take his truck over to pick up my mother. They even brought a footstool to help her climb in. Since I was there with her car, though, my brother took that, instead.
When he got there, he first made a point of setting up her air conditioner for the season, and testing it out. The batteries in the remote were dead and my mother didn’t have the right size, so he brought it with him as he took her to the restaurant.
She was very perplexed when he took her to her car. Was that her car? How did he get her car? Then she saw me when they got to the restaurant! It was quite a surprise for her.
While we got her settled in, my brother quickly ran to a store across the street to buy the batteries needed, and then we had a nice dinner together.
Mostly.
I’m glad I decided to come along. It took all three of us playing interference to keep the conversation from getting derailed into a racist rant or a political diatribe from someone who doesn’t actually understand politics very well, guilt tripping, or the many other ways she makes things difficult! It takes a lot of energy, but we managed to actually have a very good time. After a while, though, I could see we’d reached the limit of what we’d be able to do, and she was winding herself up, so I suggested to my brother it was time to go!
Since he wanted to test her air conditioner, now that he had fresh batteries in the remote, he drove her back while my sister in law and I stayed and waited until he got back. My mother was all surprised we weren’t all going to go to her place to visit! As if we’d all fit comfortably in her tiny apartment to begin with!
So, off they went, and my sister in law and I got to have another excellent conversation with just the two of us. For longer than expected. When my brother finally came back, he looked so frazzled! On the way, my mother first had him stop to pick up a few groceries, then while he was testing the air conditioner, she gave him a hard time because she thought he was fixing her TV remote, and she didn’t care about the air conditioner! Then she tried to keep talking to keep him from leaving, but he finally had to tell her he needed to go, because we were waiting for him. Of course, she tried to guilt trip him over things. It always amazes me how he does the most for her, yet she gives him the hardest time about anything and everything. He has such a good heart, and she stomps on it without even realizing what she’s doing, half the time. The other half, she knows exactly what she’s doing! I was very glad to be able to keep that down, at least somewhat!
They still had an hour and a half to drive home, so we parted ways soon after. I so enjoy spending time with them! It was also encouraging to hear from my sister in law that they are quite happy with the things we are doing here. Us being here saves them from having to take care of two properties, but they are also appreciating the work we’ve been able to do, and the plans we have. I really needed to hear that today, as I was feeling particularly useless. I had a number of jobs planned for today, but I woke up in quite a lot of pain. My left knee and left hip have suddenly started giving me a lot of grief. My plan had been to start working outside early, before things got too hot, but as I was checking the files on the trail cams, I found myself falling asleep in my chair, and ended up lying down for a couple of hours, instead. When I mentioned that to her, she told me she’s been struggling with the same thing; fatigue and joint pain. Especially in her hands. Perhaps the seasonal changes are affecting both of us!
Still, I feel like I should be accomplishing so much more. It does help that they understand the challenges we’ve been having here. Particularly with my mother’s expectations and demands, even though she walked away from the farm more than 10 years ago. I do wish we could get together more often! I actually feel both encouraged and refreshed after spending time with them.
Let’s see if that extends into tomorrow! I try to avoid unnecessary work on Sundays, but right now, I’ve got a lot of very necessary work that needs to get done!
Meanwhile, my daughter put the legs on the armchair they brought over and set it up.
It may have been just an old chair on its last legs to them, but right now, it’s the most comfortable chair in the house!
The Re-Farmer 