Medical

Teeth

/ Re-Farmer / 2 Comments

I’m happy to say, things went really well today.

The plow went by last night, so I made sure to head out and clear the plow ridge before heading into town for my dental appointment.

I’m so antsy and paranoid about the truck, I ended up leaving half an hour earlier than intended – and I was already planning to leave half an hour earlier than I needed to, to get to my appointment!

It did give me time to stop for the mail and then get a bit of gas beforehand.

Of course, every time I stopped and started again, I was on edge, waiting for something to break down again.

The road to town was surprisingly bad. A lot of areas covered by blowing snow yesterday had become hard packed, icy – and melting! It may have been only about -8C/18F and windy at the time, but any dark surface was warming up in the sun quite a bit!

Once at the clinic, I started looking in my emails for our new insurance information. My husband’s employer had an excellent insurance package that still applies as long as he’s on long term disability (which ends at age 65) that included me and the girls, until they reached the age of 19. For most prescriptions and dental, we got 90% coverage.

The company has since changed their insurance package. After much back and forth-ing, we found that if he wanted to maintain the same level of coverage for both of us, we’d have to basically pay $300 a month – on top of the 10% that isn’t covered – billed quarterly. (His employer would still pay 100% of the premium for basic coverage.) Which is wildly out of budget for us. Even if it just covered him, we would have had to pay more than our budget has room for to get the same coverage he’s getting right now.

We ended up taking the only other option that would include me on the insurance. We’ll now be covered 75% instead of 90%, and to include me works out to just under $30 a month.

They will also no longer be issuing membership cards. It’s all going to be through an app.

That kicks in on April 1st.

I had hoped to be able to give the dental clinic the new insurance information, but there was nothing in any of the emails. Not even where to download the app. We’ll be needing to give this information to our pharmacy, too.

I got nothing.

I did let them know that the insurance would be changing soon, but it would not affect today’s visit.

Then I settled in for what I expected to be a long wait.

They took me in early!

While the tech was setting me up, I explained about the broken tooth, and how I’ve had no pain in my lower jaw that they’d been trying to find the source of the last two times I was there, since the piece fell out. She told me she’d heard of how pain can sometimes be in a completely different area before, but never to the extent it did with me! She got an Xray, which was awkward because of how far back the tooth is, but she got enough of an image that the dentist could use it.

When he came in, he joked about how my broken tooth “cured” the pain I was having before! He had tried so many things to find the source of the pain, where I was feeling it! I told him, my mouth was feeling better than it had in ages – except for the sharp bits cutting my cheek and tongue.

He took a look and said that, ultimately, I would need a crown. Which is what I expected. They couldn’t do that today, though. I explained about the insurance change and he considered it, but there was no way they’d be able to get a crown booked in before the end of March. For now, though, he could put in a “temporary” filling.

The entire procedure went very well! The freezing has worn off, so I just have that “healing itch” right now, but that’s it. It is so great to not have those sharp edges!

When it was done, I asked how long I could expect this “temporary” filling to last, and he basically said, years. It’s more an issue of having new pieces of tooth breaking off than the filling itself. Unless something like that happens, or I start to feel pain, I can hold off getting the crown for quite some time.

Well, that was good news!

I felt good enough, and the truck ran well enough, that I decided I was up to visiting my mother. I just wanted to stop at the nearby pharmacy to pick up some Voltaren that she asked me for.

Which is when I started feeling some thumping and thudding at the wheels, as I turned into the parking lot.

Nothing at all like what was happening before, though. Particularly not that big kathump. I pulled into a spot as quickly as I could…

… and found a big chunk of ice had fallen off from under the truck!

The roads may have been melting, but it’s cold enough that any water froze pretty much immediately. My mud flaps were not only full of ice built up to the point of rubbing on the tire, but there were horizontal icicles formed at the bottom edges!

I knocked off as much as I could, though one flap’s build up was so large and solid, I could barely chip away parts of it with the scraper end of my snow brush.

Once I got it clear enough, I finished parking properly!

After I was done at the pharmacy, I headed to my mother’s town, cutting across to a different highway to head south until I reached the road that led straight to my mother’s town on yet a third highway.

I forgot just how bad the highway I took is. It’s not broken up or anything, but it’s a very rough ride. Today, it was also pretty badly covered with ice and packed snow, with melting edges. Which did not help with my paranoia of something breaking down on the truck again!

The cross road to my mother’s town was even worse, when it came to the ice and snow.

The noises didn’t start again until I was turning into the parking lot at the hospital. Just a rubbing noise, mostly.

After parking, I went to look, and just had to take a couple of pictures.

All the wheel wells had big teeth! So many teeth!!!

I spent the next while knocking off ice as much as I could, but there was still that one flap that was too solid and wouldn’t come off. I did park the truck with that side facing the sun, though, so I left it and just hoped the dark surface of the mud flap would warm up enough to start it melting a bit.

Then I headed in to visit with my mother.

It was a pretty good visit. She was happy to see me, though she did immediately start complaining. That included calling her radio – the high end one my brother got her years ago that worked just fine in her apartment, but can’t pick up the stations she wants from inside the hospital – garbage. Another radio had been brought in that was labeled as available for all to use, and she says it works fine, but her radio doesn’t.

Except it does. It just can’t pick up the Polish language station she’d been listening to, back at her old apartment with a special antenna set up.

Then there was the phone. It’s garbage. It’s not working. She can’t use it.

I told her, it’s not garbage. It works fine. It seems she’s been trying to make calls and hasn’t been able to figure it out, but forgets that part of the reason we got it for her is so that we could phone her directly, rather than through the nursing station.

I ended up spending some time with her phone. We’ve given up trying to show her how to use the contacts list, and have told her to just dial a number and press the green button, like she did with her previous phone.

I caught two potential problems.

One is, the phone goes to sleep after a while. Any button can be pushed to wake it up, but if you start to dial without waking it up first, it doesn’t register that first number at all. So we walked through that a bit, and I got her to call my cell phone a few times.

Which is when I discovered she hasn’t been putting the phone to her ear. She has just been staring at the screen with the “connecting…” display.

So I walked her through it a few times, including telling her to actually put the phone to her ear after hitting the green button.

Then she wanted to phone my sister, because it’s Friday, which is a day off for her.

I helped her make the call, though her contacts list, and had to tell her to put the phone to her ear again.

When my sister answered, my mother promptly started basically arguing with her about not visiting. It turns out she expects my sister to come out on both Wednesdays and Fridays. Not Saturday, because they celebrate their church’s version of the Sabbath. I could hear my sister explaining that she’s not going to be able to come out every Friday because that’s her day to get ready for the Sabbath. When my mother brought up that she hadn’t come out on Wednesday, I heard her saying that she had tried to call my mother, several times, but got no answer.

…

My mother seemed a bit confused by that. Then starting saying things about not knowing how to use the phone, and maybe she didn’t have it with her…

She got another reminder to keep the phone with her whenever she leaves her room.

Her call with my sister went on long enough that her supper pills were delivered, and it was getting to the point where I needed to head home. After a while, I had to remind my mother that she needed to take her pills, so they finished the call. I helped her take her pills (the nurse brought the pills, but my mother didn’t have any water to take them with) and we talked for a bit longer before her supper tray was brought to her. So that’s when I said my good byes and headed out.

Checking on the truck, first!

Yes, it was long enough and sunny enough that I was finally able to get that huge chunk of ice off the last mud flap!

I messaged home before I left, letting the family know I was going straight home and requesting some food be ready for me, since I hadn’t had lunch. My mouth was thawed out enough that I could safely eat and not worry about accidentally chewing a hole in a numb cheek (I’ve actually done that in the past!).

The last stretch of highway wasn’t much better, but at least it wasn’t as wet. When I got home, I didn’t have as many new teeth hanging down from my fenders!

After checking and clearing around the wheel wells, though, I spotted a surprise under the front end.

A perfect looking – but very dead – butterfly had fallen out from somewhere under the front end! It looked ready to fly away at any moment!

So very odd.

With how well the truck handled, I think it would be safe to try for our first stock up shop for April, tomorrow. Not a Costco run though. The one essential stop I need to make is a Canadian Tire, as we just ran out of litter pellets, so Costco will wait until next week. This time, we’ll be picking up stuff for our Easter basket, and I want to make a small one for my mother, too.

I’m only slightly more confident about driving the truck to the city.

If it hadn’t been so weird about sometimes working fine – usually when the mechanics were taking it for a test drive – to suddenly needing to be towed again, with so many different things seeming to go wrong all at once, I wouldn’t be this paranoid about it.

It is what it is, though. We play the hand we’re dealt with, and do the best we can!

For now, though, I can honestly say it was a really good day.

The Re-Farmer

Not quite the day I planned

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The plan for the day was to give the truck a test by heading into town this morning, then if all went well, to visit my mother in the afternoon.

Well, one out of three got done.

This morning, after taking care of the outside cats, I did a bit of shoveling around the house and the truck, which is parked in the yard until my brother can move his truck out of the garage into a spot I’m not even going to try and get it into, with all the snow. The snow in the yard wasn’t too bad, though.

Then I decided to check the end of the driveway.

It was drifted over.

The road didn’t need to be plowed, but there was enough snow drifted across between the gate and the road that it had to be cleared before I could go anywhere.

So did the rest of the driveway.

I could have gotten through, I’m sure, but 1) I didn’t want to push the truck when I’m not even convinced the replaced differential was the cause of all the problems I was having, 2) I would have been slip sliding the whole way and 3) our forecasts are no longer showing temperatures above freezing coming up in the 10 day forecast, but they are showing more snow before then.

I did the end of the driveway, first. The snow was still light and fluffy, so it was an easy job. It still took almost an hour. I stopped after that to head in, have breakfast, hydrate and take some painkillers.

Before coming in, though, I checked on little Spewie.

The auger still won’t turn. Which means it wasn’t just something frozen in the works somewhere. It’s actually broken. Nothing is visibly broken, though. I’d have to dismantle it to find the problem.

Not going to happen any time soon.

It did mean the driveway had to be done the old fashioned way.

That took about two more hours.

I didn’t even do all of it. I did part of the turning radius to get into the garage when coming in from the road, but not where I would be turning in from the inner yard. I did clear around my brother’s truck, though.

Then I had to head in and take a rest brake. I really, really didn’t want to go anywhere, but I wanted to test the truck again before my dental appointment, tomorrow, and refill a couple of our water bottles in the process. I am also not counting on being able to get into the city on Saturday, and had some stuff I wanted to get, just in case, while at the grocery store. Things just keep happening and changing my plans!

I had just finished with the shoveling, gotten inside and was starting to take my coat off when the phone rang. I didn’t even try go get to it before the answering machine picked up.

It was the pharmacy delivery driver, letting us know he was almost at our place.

So I put my coat back on and headed out to meet him at the gate.

Oh, gosh. I just realized, as I write this. It’s still open.

*sigh*

After taking a break – and more painkillers – I grabbed the water jugs and headed out.

Happily, I did not get stuck getting out of the yard.

As for the drive in, the truck seemed to be working fine, but the road is in such bad shape, plus it now has the remains of drifts and ice along the way, that it was really hard to judge what I was feeling. Was that the truck shuddering, or was it the road making it shudder?

Along the way, I saw three back hoes, busily clearing the ditches of snow – two of them in our own municipality, including one right in our little hamlet. They’ve gotten a lot of progress in the past couple of days. It’s going to make a big difference, once the snow finally starts to melt.

I got a few things “extra” to take advantage of some sales, along with refilling the water jugs. Blocks of cheese were on sale, so I ended up getting four different kinds. I was able to get a decent amount of meat this time, including stewing beef. Rye bread, as always, plus some Naan that was on sale. Stuff like that.

I saw some 7.5kg kibble on sale and got a bag for the outside cats, just in case. In the end, even with the sale prices, it came out to $200, but I used some of my points and got $30 off.

By the time I was done, I knew there was no way I was going to visit my mother. I was in just too much pain. Instead, I headed straight home, without even stopping for more gas ($1.729/L still) or the post office. I can do that tomorrow, when I go in for my dental appointment.

I’ll call my mother later on, instead.

Once I got home, I drove up to the house and my daughter helped me unload everything but the kibble. I took that through the sun room and added it to the bin right away, then did the evening cat feeding, so no one would have to go out again, later.

I was supposed to close the gate again before going back in. I’m thinking it should be safe to leave open for the night. Our vandal doesn’t seem to do as much stupid stuff in the winter.

*sigh*

I think today is a good day to go to bed early – after I call my mother.

And take more pain killers.

*sigh*

It’s a good thing I actually enjoy shoveling so much.

The Re-Farmer

Our 2026 Garden: we have sprooooots! (and a weird update)

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Checking on the seed starts in the basement this morning, I had a lovely little surprise.

At least three lovely surprises, though two are pretty hard to see in the photo. Looking at the photo more closely, though, I wonder if there’s actually five sprouts.

These are the Dwarf Dazzler Cosmos. It hasn’t even been four full days yet, and there they are!

It should be interesting to see when the rest start showing up.

Aside from that, today has been another quiet day of domesticity. It’s been snowing on and off – just lightly, where we are – and that is expected to continue until about 2am. Tomorrow, I’m planning to “test” the truck again. I want to go into town and refill a couple of our big water jugs, and maybe pick up a few other things at the grocery store.

The grocery store that is across the street from the garage.

Yes, the truck ran perfectly well after we picked it up, but I still don’t trust Damocles, with how it would switch from working fine to breaking down for so long.

I plan to leave early enough that, if things go well, I’ll try visiting my mother afterwards, too.

Speaking of my mother…

I got a call from my brother yesterday evening. My mother had called him while he was at work.

We now know why our vandal told my brother he wanted to talk to my mother alone when they ran into each other at the TCU on the weekend.

He wants her to pay for his funeral.

He has no money, he says, so she should pay for it.

???

Not that long ago, he told her he had his own funeral all arranged, including the service at the church in town we all went to as children. He even told her that, for the gathering afterwards (the tradition out here is to rent a hall for a catered luncheon after the internment, sometimes with video displays and music), he said he wanted a bottle of vodka on every table.

Now, he wants Mom to pay for all that?

The thing is, Mom told my brother that she said yes, just to shut him up and get rid of him. We all know what his reaction would have been like, if she hadn’t. With his wife there, he wouldn’t have gotten too out of control, but it would not have been good.

Yeah. His wife was there.

Mom told my brother, nothing was signed or anything. She says he’s got plenty of money (he got a very generous buy out and was able to retire in his mid 50’s), his wife works, they’ve got land – he can pay for his own funeral. Seriously; I have to drive by his place regularly. I see the equipment and vehicles he’s got all over. He could easily sell just half of it and do quite well for himself for many years.

My mother had commented to my brother about how sick our vandal was looking. Which is interesting, because when my brother saw him just an hour earlier, he was looking pretty hale and hardy for a man that’s supposedly about to die. He’s still broad shouldered and agile, not wasting away. Which is what I see, too, when I see him going by on the trail cams. Or when he stopped at the end of the driveway in the fall and yelled at me from the road while waving his colostomy bag around, getting in and out of his vehicle, and looking quite energetic. He’s clearly putting on an act for my mother.

That his wife is part of this is an extra element of disturbing.

I’m just so disgusted with them. He still feels like he’s entitled to whatever he wants from my mother, because he “helped” here at the farm for so many years, and “helped” my late father after my mother moved out (though we now know he was verbally abusive and manipulative, on top of helping himself to whatever he wanted). Our vandal was one of the reasons my mother moved out. Yeah, he did do nice things for both of them, though he also caused plenty of problems, too, but when my late brother died, it clearly destroyed his mind. His terminal cancer diagnosis (if he actually has one; who knows, at this point) has only made him worse.

To go after my mother like that, though? With his wife!!! Disgusting.

What he doesn’t know, though, is that even if he convinced my mother to sign something, it wouldn’t matter. The doctors have already agreed that my mother’s cognitive function has dropped low enough that if she signs anything like that, it can’t be legally binding. Only my brother can sign on her behalf now. Verbal agreement doesn’t hold much either, since she’s flat out said she only agreed to shut him up; she was coerced.

I will be honest; my mother is not a nice person. These two really are very much alike in their behaviour, and it is a mutually abusive relationship. Knowing that there is an undiagnosed mental illness behind all this doesn’t make it any better. There was a time, long ago, when the person my mother could have been would emerge briefly, and she was so amazing. She is a survivor and amazingly strong. She somehow managed to keep it together for so many years and raised us as best she knew how. She deserves better than this. Especially from someone that was once so close to all of us.

Bah.

The main thing is, she made a point of letting my brother know what happens, so my siblings and I now all know why she said yes to our vandal at the time, and that she has no intention of paying for his funeral. He must still think she has millions of dollars squirreled away somewhere – and that he is entitled to it! Just like he felt entitled to this property.

What a mess.

I’m looking forward to being able to engage in more garden therapy, because I could really use it of late!

The Re-Farmer

It begins

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Well, sort of. More like a tease.

Today’s expected high is -1C/30F, which we’re supposed to hit later this afternoon. It’s bright and sunny, though, and feels a lot warmer.

It was -12C/10F when my daughter did the morning cat feeding.

While doing the second feeding of the day and a few other things around the yard, I found myself needing to skirt around this.

There it is. The tease.

As the snow melts, this area becomes a bit of a pond. Some years, it’s part of a moat that encircles the garage and floods the pit under the outhouse.

For now, though, it’s a tease. Tomorrow we’re supposed to have a high above freezing, and then the highs are going to be dipping again. We won’t get highs above freezing again for about a week. Everything that’s melting now is going to be ice.

Ah, March. You’re just nasty.

Not a lot to say about today. It has been a bad pain day, of the sort that keeps me from standing in one place for very long. I can walk around, sit, lie down, but I can’t stand for more than a few minutes.

Even so, I’m still the most able bodied person in the household.

That’s rather scary to think of.

My brother had messaged me, saying he was planning to visit our mother and asked if I wanted to meet him there. I told him I wasn’t feeling well today. Which worked out, in a way, as he spent time helping my mother figure out her phone. She hasn’t been able to make outgoing calls. She keeps trying to use the programmed numbers and just not getting that she only needs to see the name on the screen, then hit the green button. In the end, he told her to just direct dial, like she always has before. They tested it out by calling here, so I was answering the phone quite a few times.

I later found out that my brother crossed paths with our vandal and his wife. They were going to visit my mother and happened to get to the doors to the TCU (which require a code to get in) at the same time my brother did. My brother, trying to be polite, asked how our vandal was doing, all things considered. His answer? “I’m dying.” … okay. He then said he wanted to talk to our mother alone. !!! There was an uncomfortable moment before his wife said they would come back later.

As my brother was leaving, about an hour later, he found them still hanging out not far from the TCU doors.

I really wish there were some way we could keep them away from my mother; he obviously is after something. The staff have been warned, but there’s really little they can do, since we don’t have any sort of court order.

What we do know is that he’s been telling my mother about things like his funeral already being planned out and paid for. It makes us wonder if he applied for and was accepted for MAiD, which is currently the 5th highest cause of death in Canada. My mother would not approve, of course, since it goes against our religious beliefs. It’s one thing to allow death to happen as peacefully and painlessly as possible, and deliberately killing someone. It’s not our business, except we worry about what he is say to Mom. She should not be burdened with his health problems. Lord knows, if my current issues turn out to be cervical cancer or something, I would NOT be telling my mother anything other than “I’m not feeling well”, unless I absolutely have to – and even then, I’d be telling her as little as possible. She does not need that burden, and she can’t handle that sort of thing at the best of times. Which leads me back to wondering, what is it he’s trying to guilt her into doing for/giving him, and why is his wife helping him do it? With all the threats of some sort of retribution he’s made against me and my brother, and claiming we caused his cancer, it frustrates me that he’s working his way into my mother’s good graces again so easily.

That’s one of the frustrating things about him. We’ve learned that when things are quiet from him, it has generally meant that he’s been doing things in the background that he springs on us, later on. I would have hoped that, when facing his own mortality like this, he would have tried to give up all that toxic stuff, but he has instead doubled down and gotten worse.

Well, if he is, I guess we’ll find out eventually.

It does make me glad I wasn’t up to going over there today. He’s been trying to wheedle himself into my brother’s … trust? … to turn him against me. If I were there at the same time, who knows how he would have reacted, or how he would end up treating my mother, after we left.

What a thing to have to even think about.

The Re-Farmer

Can’t be soon enough

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But first, the cuteness!

I have no idea what’s going on with Grommet’s face! I think I caught him with his mouth open.

I actually got this picture yesterday, while going in and out during the cookout. I’m really glad we did that yesterday, as I don’t think I would have been up to it, today!

I did get the morning cat feeding done outside – and discovered the cats had somehow unplugged the larger heat lamp again. We hit around -25C/-13F during the night, and the thermometer in the sun room was at -15C/5F this morning. The heated water bowl had ice forming at the top!

That done, it wasn’t long before I ended up going back to bed.

Getting the truck back from the garage can’t happen soon enough. I know, my brother got his truck ready for us to use, and I would be okay driving it for short distances, but that’s about it. I certainly wouldn’t be comfortable driving it to, say… our doctor’s clinic.

TMI warning.

As soon as we get our truck back, I need to re-book my doctor’s appointment. As someone that’s been post-menopausal for almost 20 years, I should not be having another period. Having one last month is why I booked an appointment in the first place.

I don’t feel sick. Aside from very normal feeling mild cramps, I’m not in any other pain. I have no other symptoms typical for this sort of thing to happen. It’s just… there.

Ideally, the truck will be ready tomorrow, or it might be the day after. Hopefully, replacing the differential again (under warranty) is the solution, because they can’t find anything else wrong with the truck. It should not be doing the things it’s doing! Kinda like my body right now. Once it’s back, I’ll call the clinic and book a new appointment – for the third time!

The clinic is booking appointments 4 weeks out right now, but perhaps they’ll have a cancellation or something that could get me in sooner.

Once we have our own transportation again.

The Re-Farmer

Better than expected!

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First, the cuteness!

I wasn’t fast enough in getting the picture I wanted. Ghosty and Tin Whistle were snuggled cheek to cheek and looking so absolutely adorable.

They still look adorable, of course.

This morning, I got a pleasant offer from my brother. He was planning to visit our mother today, and wanted to know if I wanted to go along. Since our truck is in the shop again, that meant extra driving to pick me up, then drop me off later. Of course, I accepted, since I have no way of knowing when we’ll get the truck back and I can visit her again.

It was a bonus for him, too. He got here earlier than he’s been able to in ages, which meant he had daylight to check on a few of their things and get some stuff done before we headed out. It was so warm today, I headed out early so I could scrap the sidewalk clear and get a few other things done outside. We hit 3C/37F, and I was absolutely overheating!

An unexpected extra reason for a joint visit popped up. I had talked to my brother about the check my mother gave me, to help with truck repairs. I wanted to be sure she would be okay before I tried to deposit it. He told me that it was fine and to deposit it as soon as possible. So I went to do a mobile deposit.

It didn’t work.

It turned out that when my mother tore the check out off the check book at the perforated line, a tiny piece of the check tore off. It had a bit of the account information on it. Not even a number, but part of the lines and bars around the numbers. So I was going to return it to her, voided, and – if she were still willing – we would help her write a new one.

My brother goes over my mother’s finances with her, regularly, and he was prepared to do that with her today, but he also had her new phone.

Yes, my 94 year old mother now has her own cell phone!

He chose one of the ones we were looking at on Amazon, and it arrived about a week ago. He also ordered a SIM card, but that never showed up. He ended up going to the phone company and, thanks to a deal he could get through his employer, he was also able to get a Senior’s plan for her, at a discount. The batteries were charged, with numbers pre-programmed, and it was ready to go. While we were driving, he had me get it out to test it by calling his cell phone. Which only worked once, because we kept losing signal. There are several cell phone dead zones just like we have at our place, all along this highway, even much closer to the city. Frustrating!

When we got to the TCU, my mother was in the common room with the same guy she’d introduced me to before, working on a jigsaw puzzle again. My mother introduced my brother and I to him and he volunteered to leave for a while, so we could have some privacy. Which was very kind of him.

Once settled in, my brother asked if she remembered about getting her her own phone. She did, so the next while was spent showing her the phone, the charging port, and showing her how to use it. The phone can actually do quite a lot, but all we could focus on was for her to be able to make and receive calls. Because of her vision declining, he made sure the phone he got did things like voice the numbers as she dialed them. The buttons are large enough that she had only minor issues in hitting the right ones. He showed her how to use the contacts list and got her to call my cell phone, then to manually dial to call our landline at the farm – I made sure to message the family that they were about to get a test call! Then, as a way to give our sister my mother’s new phone number, we got her to manually call my sister, too. I thought we might not get her, as she would normally have been at work, but it turned out she had called in sick and was able to answer. My mother could barely recognize her voice, with the cold she had!

There was a fair bit of confusion for my mother, but we managed to keep it low key so that she did not get completely overwhelmed. After a while, we went back to her room so the charging cradle could be set up next to her bed. We talked about how she should keep the phone with her, then set it on the cradle at night, or if she’s napping. I suggested I could make her a phone pouch so she could wear it around her neck. My brother, the excellent planner that he is, had already picked up a lanyard long enough, so now my mother can always have her phone on her.

My mother did start to worry about “what if’s”, and being able to call out on her own. We told her that even if she has issues, we can now phone her directly, and not have to go through the nursing station and get transferred to a cordless phone. That made her very happy. Then she was worried about knowing her own phone number. My brother had it hand written down for her, on the large print instructions he’d printed out for her so she could read it more easily. She had trouble reading the number, but not because of her vision. It was because it wasn’t written out the way it was “supposed” to be. Mostly with the 7’s. Sevens must have a line across them. Without that, she couldn’t tell the difference between a 7 and a 1, she said. Which didn’t make much sense under the circumstances, but it was a simple matter to just add the marks she insisted the numbers had to have! In the end, she was quite happy with the phone, which was a huge relief.

Next, my brother went over her finances with her. That is it’s own challenge, as she has trouble understanding some things, and kept asking about things he just didn’t get a chance to get to, yet. He kept having to back her up to go over things he needed to show her first. Some of it involved having to explain why her “rent” is so high – it includes her meals, medications, etc. Everything they do for her. The check she wrote to our vandal was in the list on his printouts for her, and he took the time to explain to her that she had to be very careful writing large checks like that, or she won’t have enough to pay her accommodation charges.

Which was a good time to return her check to me, for the truck repairs. We explained what happened, and made sure to void it out in front of her, and my brother kept it for her files. After seeing her numbers, I was much more comfortable accepting the money. Once she understood what the problem was, she was quick to send me to get her purse for a replacement check. I wrote it out for her, she signed it, then my brother stopped her from tearing the check out, so he could very carefully do it for her – after clearing the remaining bit of the first check she wrote to me, still attached to the checkbook!

There were a few other things we needed to talk to her about. One of them, my brother had brought up during the drive out. He had needed her photo ID in order to do some things on her behalf, and he told me she only had her citizenship card. Which made no sense to me at all! I knew that, when she turned in her driver’s license, years ago, she immediately went through the process of getting a photo ID instead. The photo IDs look almost identical to the driver’s licenses. I’ve seen it. I knew she had it. But when my brother asked for her ID to use for some of things he was doing for her, she showed him the citizenship card.

So we asked her about that, and she brought out her citizenship card again. It’s a modern, laminated plastic card, but her photo on it is many decades old! My mother made a big deal about how important this card was, but didn’t understand that it was pretty much useless as an ID, if only because her picture on it is so old.

Her photo ID, it turned out, was hidden behind the citizenship card. I got it out and my brother took pictures of it, as the bank was going to need it. It took a while before I could put it back, because my mother had the holder and kept going on about her citizenship card and how important it was, looking at it, taking it out, putting it back in. Eventually, we were able to get the photo ID back in the holder, making sure that it was visible.

Which is when a thought struck me, and I took a closer look.

It expired three years ago. She needs a new one!

This would be beyond my mother right now, but my brother is going to see what he can do to get her a new one. It’s got the wrong address on it, anyhow, but what could we use as an address now? She’s not going to be living here permanently!

My brother said he would figure it out. The main thing is, he got pictures of it and can use it for what’s needed, now.

The necessary things done with, we got to just plain visit for a while. My mother had asked me to bring a cross for her, which I did, and it’s now hanging on the wall where she can see it from her bed. There were hooks already there that I could use. Her room mate had company, one of whom brought two big, very chill, very well behaved dogs. My mother wasn’t happy about that, but she hates having dogs and cats indoors at the best of times. It wasn’t an issue, though, since we were going back to the common room. Before her guests arrived, though, my mother’s room mate was walking back and forth with her walker in the hallway. My mother was absolutely convinced that she was doing it to listen in on our conversation.

Overall, the entire visit went way better than expected. My brother was really worried Mom would lose it over the phone. That’s her typical response when he gets things for her, no matter how much she actually needs it. The last time I saw her, she would go on about how we needed to get her out of there and would start crying off and on. This time, she still had some complaints, but actually seemed to be in a good mood. She was happy that her friend from church had come to give her Communion, like he used to while she was still in her apartment. At my mother’s request, he will arrange with the priest to come and hear her confession before Easter, so she was happy about that, too.

We were able to stay for quite a while, but my brother checked the weather and realized we needed to head out. There was a storm on the way, and he still had to drive me home, first. The storm won’t hit us, though we’re expecting to get snow overnight, but it’s supposed to pass right over where my brother lives.

He messaged me to let me know when he got safely home, just as the snow was kicking in. Good timing!

As he dropped me off at the gate, he mentioned that we need a people gate. I told him, we were planning to make one, and I told him about my plans to make an arbor to make it look pretty, to have plants growing on it, and about where I was intending to set it up. It turned out we are very much on the same page about this, and he suggested it’s a project we can work on this summer.

Now that they no longer have their own acreage, and all his equipment is out here, we will finally be able to get some things done! He’s planning to set up an office in their mobile home, so he can stay out here, work from home, then work on things out here in the evenings.

Knowing him, I expect to have to struggle to keep up! I also expect we will learn a lot from him, and I really look forward to finally being able to get things done. There was so much we expected to be able to do when we moved out here, and had this whole 5 year plan. So much of it went out the window. We knew it would be a lot, but none of us realized just how bad things had gotten, and how many of the tools and equipment our vandal had taken.

This summer is going to be very, very different, that’s for sure!

Right now, though, I’m just focused on getting through this winter, and hopefully having reliable transportation soon!

Meanwhile, we were both really happy with our visit with Mom today. She seemed to be so much better today, and I think having both of us there at the same time really helped with that. She even got to talk to my sister on her new phone, and seemed quite delighted that she could do it!

All in all, it’s been a very good day.

The Re-Farmer

Finally got a visit in

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Yes, I finally made it to visit my mother at the new TCU today! The truck even behaved normally the whole time. 😄

But first, the cuteness!

I got home late enough to do the evening feeding, and couldn’t resist getting a picture of this fluffy beauty.

Zoomed in from a distance, because she? he? is pretty feral and none of us have been able to get close. It does come into the sun room to snuggle with other cats and eat, so that’s encouraging, at least.

I headed out to visit my mother shortly past noon. I made sure to check on the truck before hand, and the clock still showed the right time, and even the door chime dinged appropriately, so whatever gremlin we’ve got in the electrical seems to be napping.

While today was warmer, we’ve been having intermittent snow and “snow showers” throughout the day. The highway was good, though, and while visibility was reduced, it wasn’t by much – at least not while I was on the road.

When I got to the hospital, I went into the wing I thought my mother was in, but it turns out the TCU was in a completely different wing. I did get to see what the long term car section looked like, though. While at the nursing station, looking for someone, I saw a lot of seniors all over, and several of them demanded to know why I was there and what I wanted! Thankfully, a staff member (a janitor, I think) showed up. I told her who I was there to see, and she knew my mother’s name, then led me through the hospital to the wing my mother was in.

I’d brought some stuff my mother requested, including more Pepto. There was someone at the nursing station, and I was able to leave it with her.

I also had a chance to ask about the photos my brother left of our vandal and my sister. Our vandal has visited a couple of times already, and my mother’s been there for just over a week. I was able to let her know that the last time he was there, he ended up with a check for a substantial amount. This is one of the issues with him; he’s managed to get many thousands of dollars our of my mother over the years. In this case, the check was written out by his wife for my mother to sign. I made sure to say, this was just so they know it happened, not that I was trying to blame anyone. Knowing my mother, she probably didn’t need a lot of persuasion and may well has suggested it herself.

The nurse I spoke to took some notes about it, so other stiff will be aware. I also talked a bit about my sister, as they would have her photo, too. I explained that with her, it’s more that both our vandal and my mother can manipulate her so easily. She has caused problems by going along with them when she should have said no.

Then I had to ask which room my mother was in. I had it in one of my family group messages, but couldn’t get a connection to look it up. It turned out I wasn’t even able to send updates to my family, either.

The nurse told me where to go, and I soon found my mother. She has the bed against the window, but her room mate had her curtain completely closed, so I wasn’t interrupting anyone else.

The visit was… difficult.

We started to talk, but there was some banging going on down the hall. I starting going through the bag of things I’d brought for her, but she was very disturbed. She moved to sit in a chair and started to tell me where to put things, then started to cry (it may even have been partially genuine) and complain about it, saying I had to get her out of there. She brought up the banging, and thought her room mate was doing it. !! I said no, there’s some sort of construction or repairs happening. My mother said we could go to somewhere more private and let me to the common room.

Which was directly across the hall from the banging.

At the time, a workman was using a chisel on the edge of a door for what turned out to be the installation of a keypad locking assembly.

The common room clearly had been a hospital room in the past and wasn’t particularly big, but it was in the corner of the wing, so it had two big windows and lots of light. Someone in a wheelchair was at a table working on a jigsaw puzzle. My mother introduced us. She has her own favourite armchair, right in the corner between the two windows, with a hospital bed table. She told me she eats her meals there.

We started talking and she kept telling me how terrible things where and how much she wanted to get out of there. She made it sound like the banging was happening all the time (the work on the door would have started just today), and talking. Apparently, her room mate sleeps all day and talks to herself all night. Which is curious, since both my brother and my sister have said they’ve talked to her during their daytime visits and found her very nice. After a while, the guy working on the puzzle started to leave, and my mother thanked him for the privacy.

As we talked for the next while, my mother was all over the place. She went from complaining about the noise and how she has all this money, but is stuck living there (I told her, everyone else there is in the same situation as her, regardless of money), to talking about how my sister should visit more often (she’s visited my mother twice in the first week), and even complained about my brother and his wife giving her an Easter card. Now. A month ahead of Easter, so that means they’re not planning to visit her on Easter. I reminded her, they are going on a pilgrimage. They’re going to be overseas. When are the leaving? I don’t know. How long will they be gone? For weeks! They’re going to be walking very far! She scoffed, but seemed to realize complaining that they were going on a pilgrimage for Easter wasn’t probably not a good idea! It didn’t stop her from claiming my brother was “running away” from her (he’s visited her more often than I have!), and so on.

I do think I was able to get her to calm down about things a bit. I tried talking about how this was temporary, and just one step to getting her to where she wants to be, and how the system works. She didn’t like that, but she also started to get upset because someone else came into the room and sat in one of the armchairs behind me. She kept glaring at him over my shoulder, and making comments about him being there while she had company. I kept reminding her, this is a public room!

At one point, she started to get things out of her purse, then got up to leave, telling me to wait for her. It turned out she had gone into the hall to talk to the guy working on the door, complaining about the noise, saying it was making her go deaf (my mother’s hearing is better than mine) and started crying again. He told her he was almost done and it wouldn’t be much longer, so she came back in.

I had hoped she had forgotten, but my mother got out her checkbook. She said, she wanted to pay for the work on the truck. !!! I tried to defer, but she insisted. I admit, she was generous about it, in her own way. Normally, she would ask for exactly how much it cost, then write out for an amount to the penny, or somewhat less. She didn’t even ask how much it cost, but told me to how much to write it out for so she could sign it. It will mostly cover the cost of the repairs.

I’m not going to deposit it until I’ve checked with my brother. He manages her accounts very well on her behalf. At one point, she asked me how much was in her account, thinking my brother told her. I said, I have no idea. It’s none of my business! I’m not sure if she approved of that, or was angry I didn’t know. 😄

We talked some more about her living situation and getting her into somewhere permanent. It’s frustrating to simply not know. In the end, it’s the government that decides, through the health care system. We have no say in the matter, but now that she’s in the system, it should work out better than trying to get where she wants to be from outside the system.

I noticed my mother had her rosary around her neck, so I suggested she pray the rosary. She said it gets hard to pray (referring to her own mental function; she does recognize that she is having increased cognitive issues). I reminded her that God doesn’t need words to know what she is praying for. I suggested that, if she starts feeling really anxious, to even just hold the cross on her rosary and use that to keep her mind on God. I couldn’t remember the exact words at the time, but reminded her of Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. (yes, I had to look it up – I remember the words, not the chapter and verse! 😄) She immediately knew the verse I was referring to, and it really seemed to perk her up. So we held hands and prayed together, and that seemed to help her a lot more.

Eventually, though, I had to head out, as I knew the roads would not be very good for long. She walked with me to the door. One of the things we’d talked about was the vitamin for her dry macular degeneration, and I’d explained that I made the calls to get a prescription faxed to the nursing station. She said she wasn’t getting them yet, so I said I would ask. Thankfully, because she walked me out, it helped me remember – and I’m glad I did!

They never got the prescription.

We talked for a while, and I said I would call the optometrist where she got the original prescription from and find out what was happening. I was concerned about my mother walking back on her own using her walker, but one of the nurses had seen us and was waiting. She assured me she would get my mother to her room okay.

From there, I made a stop at the gas station to update the family. Not to get gas, though. While I was visiting with my mother, the gas prices went from $1.359 to $1.419!

I’m glad I left when I did, as conditions were starting to worsen, but I got home okay – and the truck behaved the whole time.

As soon as I was settled in, I made a bunch of calls. Apparently, the prescription for my mother’s eye vitamin did get faxed, yesterday. In the end, the receptionist I spoke to said she would try and print out what she had in her system and fax it again, as the optometrist was working a different location until next week. Some time later, I got a call from the TCU letting me know they got it. She then explained that this vitamin comes in two forms. A soft gel, which my mother was getting in her bubble packs, and a tablet form. They only get the tablet form. If my mother wants the soft gel, we would have to provide it. I explained that, with my mother, she believes that because they look different, it’s the wrong medicine – she believes that of all her medications – and that we’ve tried to explain it to her. I said to give her the tablets for now (I don’t want her to go without it, as she is complaining about vision loss), and to explain to her what that specific tablet is. We’ll see how she does with that, for now. If necessary, we’ll have to get something set up with the local pharmacy for those.

I’m glad I finally made it to visit my mother, but it’s so frustrating. I understand why she’s not happy there, and absolutely understand her desire for more quiet. It’s part of what we like about living in the boonies, after all! At the same time, I know my mother well enough to know that a lot of this is self inflicted. My mother is one of those people that always sees the worst in others, and interprets things in their worst possible light. I remember when my father when through a lot of this, and at every stage, he was always so thankful, so grateful, to the people around him, whether it was the home care aids or the nursing home staff. He always let them know how much he appreciated them for how well they took care of him. Every time I called him, he would go on about how great they all were. My mother? She’s the complete opposite, most of the time, and it’s not getting any better as she gets older. In fact, the only person she will speak highly of these days is…

Yup. Our vandal. She says, they’re getting along good now. I reminded her of that last letter he wrote to her, and the horrible things he said to her, and that he hasn’t stopped. He may be behaving around her when his wife is around, but he’s still doing things (I didn’t tell her about him driving by while I was shoveling out the plow ridge, slowing down to a crawl at the end of the driveway). She thinks he’s changed. I said, I hope so, but he’s why my late brother’s two kids now say they want nothing to do with our family, thanks to his lying about us. She dropped the subject.

All we can do is hope she can finally get to the nursing home she wants to be in, but I’m starting to wonder if she’ll even be happy there. There will be people talking in the halls. There will be noise. At least she’ll have her own room, though. Maybe that will be enough.

We shall see.

Nothing else we can do. It’s all up to the system…

… and the system sucks.

The Re-Farmer

So tired

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What a day.

After three days of shoveling and snow blowing, my daughters made sure to let me know that they would take care of the cat stuff, inside and out, this morning. Much appreciated, as we did reach that -31C/-24F last night. I don’t know what the wind chills were at the time, but from the weather reports I read this morning, we did get wind chills of -45C/-49F during the night.

Sleeping in a bit past sunrise was nice, at least.

Then I headed down stairs to check on the seedlings. I heard the septic pump running and went to the old basement to check on things.

I found water on the floor.

Not a lot, and with how uneven the floor is around there, it wasn’t quite clear where it was coming from at first. Then I opened the access pipe, and found it full of liquid and toilet paper.

I uncovered the floor drain and it was backed up to there, too, though not to overflowing.

*sigh*

What a way to start the day.

Thankfully, that commercial drain auger we got is enough to punch through such clogs without bothering to even plug it in. It’s the bottleneck somewhere between the basement and the tank that was the issue again. Thankfully, I caught it as early as I did.

Once I got through the clog, I switched to the old garden hose that’s missing its end. I don’t even bother to take it off the tap that used to be the cold water tap for the washing machine before the laundry got moved upstairs. The hose just gets hung up on hooks from the floor joists above.

The next part took longer. The drain from the weeping tile goes through past the floor drain and into the access pipe. It was blocked all the way, and took quite a bit of work with the hose to flush it all out. Then the concrete floor got hosed down and cleaned up.

Great fun.

Not.

My goal of the day was to work on clearing snow from the inner yard, though I also wanted to put the charger on the truck battery. We’ve had issues with it being low before and, with the cold we’ve been having, I had my concerns.

It took me a long time to get my act together and get back outside.

The first thing I had to do was get the extension cords running out the back door of the garage, for better reach.

What is is about extension cords? How can an inanimate object seem so determined to actively try to trip and injure? Granted, with the cold, the cords aren’t as flexible so there are plenty of loops that don’t want to straighten out, but those loops were constantly finding ways to wrap around my feet!

Then I could get little Spewie out the back door before heading back in to hook up the charger. Then I had to drag Spewie through the snow. It might have been easier to just pick it up and carry it!

Finally, all set up, plugged in and ready to go!

Nope.

As soon as I heard the off sound, I stopped it immediately. The auger wouldn’t turn, but the motor was trying to get it to!

I tried to turn it manually, which normally is easy, but it would not move.

I did make sure to brush it off when I put it in the garage last night, but I think somewhere in the workings, something froze and it keeping the auger from turning.

I didn’t have the time or energy to fuss with it.

It was going to have to all be shoveled by hand.

*sigh*

I’d already used the shovel and ice scraper to break up the more drifted areas that I knew were too packed or deep for little Spewie, so those were still handy.

I didn’t quite get it all, though.

I focused on clearing the area closest to the house. Then I cleared the most drifted areas along the sides, as well as clearing to the outhouse and to the litter compost behind it. I took it slow and careful. Given my physical state by then, I knew I was at higher risk of hurting myself. What I didn’t clear wasn’t deep enough to cause problems for the truck.

I hope.

Part way through, the battery reached full charge and I pause to put that away. I didn’t bring my key, so I didn’t check on the console display. I’ll do that tomorrow. I plan to call the garage as early as I can and see if I can swing by. I’m about 80% sure it’s just a fuse. I don’t have a fuse tester and even if I did, the last time I tried to check the fuse box, shortly after we bought the truck, I couldn’t get it open. It’s supposed to easily pop off. There isn’t supposed to be any sort of trick to it. I just wasn’t able to do it. I even got our mechanic to show me how. He got it off not problem, without doing anything different than I had. I’m obviously missing something, but I’ve no idea what. I mentioned that to my brother. His response was, YouTube is your friend.

YouTube is not my friend.

I did later try to look, searching specifically for the 2011 Sierra. I got videos on how to find the fuse box – with I already know – and what’s inside, a video on how to test fuses, but nothing on how to open it. Then I found lots and lots of videos on the Silverado and various other makes and models of trucks that had nothing to do with my search terms.

I just don’t have the energy to work it out.

Taking it easy did mean I was out there for quite a while. When I was done, it was late enough that I went ahead and did the evening cat feeding before heading in.

I am so tired.

One of the things I wanted to do before it got too late in the day was to call my mother. I was rather dreading it. I knew she’d be asking when I would visit next, which I probably won’t do until I at least talk to our mechanic, first. I knew that if I told her that, she would start giving me a hard time again. She doesn’t understand anything about vehicles, which is fine, but that doesn’t stop her from demanding explanations for things she can’t grasp, then making sure I know exactly what a failure of a human being she thinks I am for having any problems at all.

Still, I knew I had better call. My brother and his wife had visited her yesterday, so I knew she was struggling with things. My SIL said she was seeming pretty depressed. She doesn’t like where she is, even though she just got there and there are activities that she didn’t have access to while in the hospital, and the other TCU didn’t seem to have at all. Life is not meeting her expectations. She had told them, she has all this money, but not even a bed to call her own.

She doesn’t have a lot of money, really. What she has may have been considered a lot, 70 years ago, but our dollar is worth so much less today, it really wouldn’t get her very far. It certainly can’t buy her way into the nursing home she wants to be in, either.

My SIL said she asked my mother if she maybe wanted her own little house here at the farm, like her mother had when living on my aunt’s farm, before she moved here for her final years. My mother said no. She isn’t able to take care of herself on her own anymore.

Anyhow.

I called her up and she did sound rather down, right from the start. I asked how she was doing and she said I probably didn’t want to hear it. She was also in the common room with other people around, so she wouldn’t have wanted to talk about it. They did leave shortly after, though. She then started telling me about how she has such a tiny bed (?? it would be a standard size hospital bed), such a tiny space in her shared room, there’s always noise and TV and talking and laughing… No peace. No privacy.

She’s been there for less than a week.

We talked about how this is temporary and hopefully, she will soon get transferred to the nursing home she wants to be in. I did remind her, thought, that there will be noise in the nursing home, too. She would have her own room, though. If nothing else, she could close her door.

I did confirm that she got communion today, and it was brought to her by the same guy that was bringing it to her when she had her apartment. She was happy about that, at least.

Of course, she started asking me when I would come to visit. I told her I did get the truck home and got stuck in our own driveway, because there was so much blowing snow. I then mentioned that there was something else that I needed to get checked, even though the truck seems to be running fine. As expected, she started demanding explanations and started giving me a hard time about it. I basically just cut that off and changed the subject. I told her, I just don’t know when I’ll be able to visit, but I would let her know before I do. She did make sure to tell me what she wanted me to bring to her when I do make it out.

*sigh*

She told me she had been able to get her short wave radio set up and working. My brother had tried to set it up while she was in the hospital but just couldn’t get a signal. It was even worse in the first TCU, but where she is now, she can get a signal. She was looking forward to listening to Mass in Polish soon, so we didn’t talk for too much longer. She did start going on about how she wants us all to find someplace for her, where she can have peace and privacy. I told her, even if we found someplace, if she leaves where she is now, she goes to the bottom of the waiting list (or off it entirely, now that I think about it) for the nursing home she wants to be in

I don’t think she heard me. I had a hard time hearing her at times, though for a different reason. It was as if we were losing the connection, but when I mentioned it was happening, she said something about how she was accidentally doing something with her fingers. ??

Well, hopefully that won’t be an issue for much longer. After going back and forth with my brother about it, he went ahead and ordered a phone for seniors for my mother. It’s in already, but the SIM card is still on the way. The phone company has a senior’s plan, too. It’s a cell phone that looks like a small cordless phone, and is even more basic than the phone she had before. It has a charging dock just like her old cordless handset had. The display screen shows the time, day and date as default, which I think she will find useful, too.

I would absolutely enjoy having a phone like that for myself, instead of a touch screen smart phone. Those may be convenient, but I’ve never liked touch screens.

Hopefully, it won’t take her long to figure it out, and we will be able to call her directly instead of having to go through the nursing station and have them bring a cordless handset to her.

The call with my mom wasn’t as bad as I half expected it to be, at least. I just don’t quite understand what my mother’s expectations are anymore, other than unrealistic. She hated being at her apartment because there was no one around in case she needed help, but now that she’s where there is always someone around that can help if she needs it, she hates that there are people around all the time, and they make sounds.

Ah, well. Hopefully she will get to where she wants to be, soon. She told my brother that her room mate has been there for a long time already, and is staying. Which doesn’t make sense, since this place is for temporary placement only, not permanent.

As for me, it’s time to pain killer up for the night and get to bed.

I am so very tired. Tired physically, tired of the truck, tired of always being on guard when talking to my mother, tired of winter, tired of cold, tired of the plumbing in this house, tired… tired… tired.

I need sleep.

The Re-Farmer

A cute accident, and some updates

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We had some more snow last night. Checking the security cameras, I saw that the road was plowed. We’re going to have to dig out the end of the driveway.

I also started getting a lot of motion detection notifications from the garage cam. I never saw what was triggering it, though.

What I did see was this.

A pair of matching hearts in the snow.

Who made these?

So I started going through the history, checking both stills and video clips. They weren’t there on Sunday, but as I watched myself walking towards the gate to meet my SIL on Monday, there they were, slightly less snow covered, but also less visible in the diffused light at the time.

It took a bit of going over the files more, then remembering that the motion sensor is triggered by people (and the occasional cat or deer), but not vehicles. We haven’t been able to figure out why (this is one of my brother’s new security cameras, not one we got).

My brother and nephew were here on Sunday. I saw them getting into their care to leave, but the camera wasn’t triggered by the care as they backed up towards the driveway then turned to the gate.

These are tire tracks. After the snowfall and in the morning light, they just happen to now look like hearts.

Adorable.

Almost as adorable as these guys.

There’s at least three more cats in there that are not visible in the photo.

Somehow, they got one corner of the hammock off its hook. I haven’t been able to put it back as it can only be reached through the ramp door, which has the box sheltering it. A box that’s currently stuck in place with packed snow and ice.

I took this when I did the second feeding. My darling daughter did the morning feeding for me. It was -27C/-16F at the time. I don’t know what the wind chill was, but when I checked later and we had warmed up to -20C/-4F, the wind chill was -34C/-29F Thankfully, by the time I did the second feeding, there was hardly any wind, so it was just really cold, instead of brutally cold. 😄

In other things, my mother was successfully transferred to the temporary long term care unit in the town she had her apartment in, last night. My brother called them this morning and talked to the nursing staff before talking to my mother. She got there shortly after 7pm in a taxi handivan – and no, we are not going to be charged for that. However, a bag that contained, among other things, my mother’s Pepto got forgotten in the van, and the staff were trying to track it down. The other TCU always uses the same taxi driver for these transfers, as he’s so good with the seniors, so it would be easy to track it down.

As for my mother, once he started talking to her, she started railing about how things were even worse here than where she had just left. It took a while to get to what she was saying, and it seems she was still just rattled from the transfer. She does have a room mate, but she did say that this person was better (by which we understand she means, this is not a person with dementia trying to tell my mother to go away while claiming my mother’s bed was hers).

My brother gave me the proper numbers to call this TCU, though he didn’t have the room number. I tried calling as soon as I could. It went to voice mail so I left a message, but no one got back to me. I texted the contact info to my sister, though. After several hours, I tried again and got through.

I talked to the nurse, first, and asked how things were going. She seemed a bit hesitant in answering, as if she was trying to find the right words. My mother wasn’t quite happy and something my mother told her had her thinking she had been in a single room before. I told her that she had been in a single room while at the hospital, but at the first TCU, she had a room mate. I explained about the roommate having some level of dementia and her behaviour. The nurse was surprised because, while they do have single rooms, those are usually reserved (if possible) for people with dementia that shouldn’t be sharing a room because they might do things like that. She would have expected this other TCU not to place someone with dementia with a room mate. I told her, I didn’t think they had any single rooms!

I remembered to ask about the missing bag.

It turns out my mother thought it was missing because it didn’t go to her room. It contained her medications, which they never keep in patients’ rooms, and was at the desk (they would have a secure lock up for meds). She was even able to tell me some of the items that were in it.

After talking with the nurse, I asked to talk to my mother and got transferred to their cordless phone.

It was a… strange call.

My mother seemed out of sorts, but she was happy to tell me that my sister had come to visit. She was extra happy, because my sister had brought her “cabbage” (sauerkraut) and pickle juice. My mother has been craving something “sharp” to counter what she described as all the sweet she’s been getting. I have no idea what she meant by that. Some of her meals might have a dessert, but that would be something along the lines of canned fruit. Whatever. She’s happy with her “sharp” snacks!

She asked me about the truck at one point and I explained to her that they weren’t able to look at it yesterday, but were hoping to do it today (I’ve still had no word about it, and they are closing soon). That set her off. She started saying how I should “explain to them” that we need the truck. I told her, they know our situation. Oh, but if I just explain to them. I told her, they have appointments. They have to fit the truck in, in between appointments, and need at least a couple of hours to look at where they think the problem is. I then started getting lectures about how other people’s appointments didn’t matter, they should take care of me. Then she started saying how my brother and I need to get together to find a “good mechanic”. Because mechanic always cheat women. When she started to invent accusatory things about how they were cheating me, I had to put an abrupt stop to it and pointed out she had no idea what she was talking about (in regards to the problems we’ve had with our truck), and she shouldn’t start going on like that. We should talk about something else.

After that, I had dead silence. Apparently, if she couldn’t complain about things, she had nothing else to say.

I remembered about the bag that she thought was missing, so I told her that it wasn’t missing. That it had medications in it, so it when to the nursing station, not her room, explaining that they have to lock up the medications.

She didn’t believe me.

She then gave me this description of her the transfer last night, looking into the bag and what she saw in it, how the bag was on the seat of the van and didn’t come in with her. It was still in the van. I told her, the nurse said she had it. Her medications were in the bag, so it had to go to the nursing station, not her room.

My mother didn’t believe they had her medications, either.

…

She would have gotten at least her bed time meds, and her morning meds, by the time I’d called her.

No matter what I said, she refused to believe me that the bag was not forgotten in the van, nor that they had her meds. She finally said she would go to the nursing station and ask them, herself.

There really wasn’t much else to talk about after that. She did say she was glad for the phone calls from me and my brother today. She calls the calls and visits her “second medicine.”

She may still be out of sorts, but where she is now is definitely better than where she was. She did complain a bit about the small size of the rooms (I don’t think she gets just how fortunate she was to have the big room in the hospital, all to herself!) and that she didn’t know the place yet. I brought up that she had told me she’d been there before, to visit people, so I thought she would be familiar with it.

No, she’s never been here before, she insisted.

…

She told this to me not long ago. Even made out like I was stupid, or that I thought she was stupid, to think she didn’t know about this place being in the town’s hospital. Told me how she knew people there and had visited them. Now she’s telling me the opposite?

When I said, she had told me she’d been there before, not that long ago, she just said, well, it’s a big place. So maybe she visited someone in a different ward? I dunno!

The good thing, though, is that she will start getting communion on Sundays from the church she used to go to, and they will likely be done by the same guy that had brought it to her after services at her apartment across the street.

So that’s where we are at with my mother’s transfer. Hopefully, she will settle in and be happier there. She did confirm that her transfer to the personal care home wasn’t cancelled. I said for sure it wasn’t; where she is now is all temporary. If all goes well, she will not be moved again until is to the specific nursing home she wants to be in.

How long that will be is anybody’s guess!

The Re-Farmer

Lots going on

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You know, for a day where I’m stuck at home, there was a lot going on that had nothing to do with home!

But first, the cuteness.

Toni and Ginger, our two tripods, snuggling while they nap.

On my very cat fur covered bed.

So the first thing I got today was a message from my brother, updating on the situation with our mother. He had called the main office and it was confirmed my mother would be transferred to the temporary long term care centre in the town her apartment was in. They still had to get things ready for her at the other end, and then arrange transportation. They couldn’t say when it would happen, but they wanted to get it done as soon as possible.

Almost immediately after, I got a text from my sister (who doesn’t really do Messenger anymore).

My mother had just phoned her, convinced that if we just talk to the right people, they would get her out of where she is. My sister talked to the nurse and they said they had told my mother, repeatedly, that they don’t know when she would be transferred.

I’m not sure what my mother is thinking is going on. Perhaps she’s interpreting it as not happening soon. Or not happening at all. It’s hard to say, as she tends to twist things around pretty severely, once she gets a conclusion in her mind.

In the middled of that flurry of messages, I got a message from the cat rescue, asking when I was expecting to go to the city next. I responded saying I didn’t know, since I currently have no transportation and don’t know when I’d be getting it back. Otherwise, it would have been tomorrow and Friday.

It turns out they have dry kibble for us! I was incredibly grateful to hear that. Especially with how much we’ve been having to spend on the truck for the past while, and now with an unknown hanging over us. I spent some time on that group cat, too. If we don’t get the truck back soon, one of them volunteered to drive the kibble out to us. !!! They are so awesome!

Then later one – while I was cooking and couldn’t stop what I was doing, of course – I got a phone call. It was from the TCU, so I called them back as soon as my hands were free and clean.

The TCU nurse started off by telling my my mother accepted the bed in the other location.

…

I’m not sure why that was still an issue, after all the calls between us all that were done yesterday. They only needed to arrange transportation. She had already called my brother and left a message.

Would I be able to transport her.

????

I said no, I have no transportation. My brother is at work and my sister would be on the way to work. We thought they would arrange the transportation.

Oh, we always ask the family first, as there would be no charge. If they do it, there would be a charge for it.

???

I told her that if there is, my brother, as PoA would be the one to pass that information on to, and told her I would message him and update him.

This perplexed me because, when my brother talked to him, I was sure he told me they’d said they would take care of the transportation, because they were the ones doing the transfer. Much like when my mother first went to the hospital by ambulance, she got a bill for it, but when they used an ambulance to transfer her to the TCU, she did not get a bill for it, because it was their responsibility.

I messaged my brother and it wasn’t much longer before I got word back. He had called them back and was told our mother would be transferred later this afternoon (she might be on the road now, as I write this) and they are arranging a taxi van, so they could fit everything. This would include not only her personal affects, but her walker and wheelchair, so that makes sense.

He also confirmed that he had been told previously that there would be no charge for the transfer, but when he called back today, it never came up. He said he would deal with that later. For now, we just need to have her moved!

So the first, and only, time any of us heard about being charged for transportation was when the TCU contacted me earlier today.

Between all of this, I found myself spending most of the day on the computer, messaging back and forth with two very different groups of people – plus texting with my sister and on the phone with TCU.

As the afternoon progressed, without hearing from the garage, I sent them a text asking about the truck. I mentioned that I’d looked up the part, just to see what it looked like, and saw the prices. I let them know that if it needed to be replaced, we simply can’t afford it. Hopefully, it will be something more minor!

A response came in while I was outside, doing the evening outside cat feeding. It was very apologetic. They weren’t even able to drag the truck into the garage at all today. They will look at it tomorrow.

I can’t say that wasn’t unexpected. I knew they could only look at it, in between appointments, and once a lift would be free for at least a couple of hours. They have three lifts, but each one is different and used for different purposes, depending on what they need to be able to access. One of them can only fit small cars.

So, one more day with the Sword of Damocles hanging over our heads.

On a completely different note, when I finished putting food and warm water out for the outside cats, I went into the old kitchen and discovered Bug on top of chest freezer! She snuck in while I was going out and I never saw her.

Unfortunately, she was nervous and spooked. Usually, I can at least pet her and sometimes pick her up, but this time, she ran off and hid.

She’s still there.

I’ve set out food, water and a squeeze treat, squeezed out onto a container, to lure her out. It’s way too cold in there for such a tiny cat (the old kitchen is unheated and seems to have no insulation at all – it wasn’t needed when it was an active kitchen and the wood cookstove was always in use!) so I set up a carrier that needs some work done on it, wrapped in a blanket, on top of the freezer with another smaller blanket inside. I’ve checked a few times and saw her snuffling around the middle of the floor, but she ran off as soon as she heard me turn the door knob. I found the container that has squeeze treat on it stuck against the door, licked clean, so I know she’d gone onto the freezer again and knocked it off while eating the treat. Hopefully, she will come back out again, soon!

Really hoping I can snag her and set her back in the sun room, where she has access to the heat lamps and warm bodies to snuggle with.

I’m also hoping my mother will soon me in her new temporary long term care unit. She’s familiar with this place, as she has visited friends there before, and I think it will be a much better situation for her.

Now, if we could just have some good news on the truck and have that back soon. I’ll finally be able to visit her, as well as do a whole lot of driving around that’s needed! Which included picking up what is likely a build up of parcels at the post office. My West Coast Seeds order has been in for almost a week, now!

Ah, well. It’ll all work out.

Oh! My husband just informed me that Bug is in the cave I created for her! Now, if I can just get into there without her running and hiding again…

The Re-Farmer