Still a bit chilly, and unexpected things

We’re still on the chilly side these days, and will continue to be for a while longer. As I write these, we are just below freezing, and our predicted highs aren’t going to be much warmer. It’s like that mild weather we had, and my being able to do some clean up in the spruce grove, was just a tease!

I think the cats are still appreciating the kibble house, and not having to be on the frozen ground to eat. Their water is freezing solid overnight again (except for the heated water bowl, of course), and they’re enjoying the warm water they’re still getting every morning.

I look forward to when we can take that tarp off the kibble house and give it a good paint job! It’s still too cold for paint.

At least the snow is mostly gone, so I can extend my rounds, checking the fence lines, etc. Which is where I found this poor little pussy willow, desperately trying to develop its catkins! :-D At least since we cleared this fence line, it is finally getting morning sun and warmth.

One of the things we will need to do today is go into town and retrieve my mother’s car. A bit late to help my mother, though! Yesterday, shortly after noon, I got a call from my mother. When I asked how she was doing, she told me she was “dressed”. Meaning, she was dressed up and all ready to head out. !!

We had been talking about me helping her with errands when I got her car back, and I was suggesting Wednesday or Thursday, hoping it would be done by then. Somehow, my mother thought it had been settled for Wednesday! So she was all ready to go for her errands, and for me to show up at the usual time. Of course, I didn’t show up because I didn’t know this! :-D I told her I didn’t have her car, but she had quite a few errands to run, and didn’t want to delay them. So I headed out right away and, just in case, brought our little step stool for her to use to get in and out of the van. She has one just like it, but I wasn’t sure if she’d grab it or not. I’m glad I did, because she had forgotten hers. She realized this while waiting for me, outside the door where I usually meet her, sitting in her walker. She was going to give me her keys so I could run in and get hers, but it wasn’t necessary. It turns out she doesn’t need it so much to get out of the van, but getting in is much harder for her.

One of the stops she needed to make was at the Senior’s centre which, unfortunately, has stairs, so she has to leave her walker outside and hobble in. :-( I helped her with the door and saw there was quite a few people inside, so I told her I’d wait for her outside. One of the social workers that I’ve been talking to about the horrible caretakers in my mother’s building came out to chat. She asked how my mother was doing, since my mother has a habit of saying she’s having troubles when she’s actually doing pretty well, but saying she’s doing well when she’s having troubles. Which isn’t all that unusual, I’ve found! ;-) One of the things I mentioned was that my mother was getting some serious cabin fever.

Which is when I found out something interesting. Not a good interesting, either.

When our province locked down even harder (which, as I predicted a year ago, actually caused an increase in deaths and illnesses; the first uptick of excess deaths our province had was during the annual winter increase, since the pandemic bypassed our province entirely until then, and no one in either of our municipalities has ever tested positive), buildings such as my mother’s locked their doors and only “authorized” personnel were allowed in, while residents were told to stay in their own apartments as much as possible, though they were “graciously” allowed to not wear masks within their own homes. :-/ “Authorized” personnel included the social workers, and people making deliveries. Because of the caretakers, my mother would sneak me or my siblings in through a side door, as we brought her groceries in. Yes, technically we were allowed in the building to do this, but the caretakers look for any excuse to harass people. Especially my mother, who is one of the few people to stand up to them.

Well, it turns out that my mother’s building is the only one that’s still locked up. All the other buildings run by the province are open. The social worker speculated on just who was responsible for keeping the residents locked up, and I half-joked that it made it easier to “control the inmates”. Unfortunately, the joke was too close to reality. She told me that one of my mother’s neighbours is considering putting a sign on her door to turn her apartment number to “Cell ##”, because she feels like she is in a prison. To be honest, in a real prison, they’d have more freedoms than the people living in my mother’s building, it seems. The frustrating thing is, there’s nothing we can do about it. The people living there are too afraid of the caretakers to complain, and since it’s a government run building, instead of a privately run building, getting abusive employees fired is pretty much impossible. The social workers have been trying to get the problem addressed for years – long before my mother has lived there – and had their own jobs threatened, instead.

It’s so frustrating. I was hoping my mother was serious about escaping to another building in town – one where meals are included, so she wouldn’t even need to do grocery shopping – but she chose this building because her church is right across the street. She wouldn’t be able to walk to church from the other building. That and she really doesn’t want to go through the hassle of moving again, even though this time I’d be available to help with our van. Truthfully, with the exception of the caretakers, this place is pretty ideal for her. She shouldn’t have to move, just to get away from crappy employees.

What a mess.

After my mother finished at the senior’s centres, we did the rest of my mother’s errands, finishing with some grocery shopping. After everything was brought in and put away, I was even able to stay for tea. Before I left, I gave my mother a big hug. She almost started crying. :-(

Just before I got home, I heard my phone going off, so I checked my messages before unlocking the gate. It was from the garage, letting me know my mother’s car was ready! It was too close to their closing time, though. I suppose I could have grabbed my daughter and left immediately, but since I had just finished helping my mother with her errands, there was no longer any rush.

Meanwhile…

Today, I need to focus and prepare for tomorrow. We finally have our court date for the restraining order against our vandal. I really don’t know what to expect. I think the most likely thing to happen is that they will run through the docket as quick as they can, and it’ll be rescheduled for a hearing at a later date. Of course, what I hope will happen is that the restraining order will be granted. A restraining order is just a piece of paper, but it does give the police more to work with and, more importantly, our vandal will have his guns removed, and he’ll have to stop drinking. The order is for a year, and then I would have to re-apply, if I felt it was warranted, but I would hope that a year of being dry, and having to prove it regularly, will make a difference in his mental state. It’s a faint hope, but it’s there, nonetheless. There’s still his vexatious litigation against me to deal with, but that court date is in July. If he were at all sensible, he would drop that, as he has no case. It’s basically just his way of getting back at me for applying for the restraining order after he tried to break the gate again.

What a mess.

As crazy at it is, I have no regrets for moving out here. The positives far outweigh the negatives, and it’s still better than what we left behind.

Still, it would be nice if all we needed to do was take care of this place for my family, which is why we moved out here to begin with!

The Re-Farmer

A little bit further

Let’s start with some adorable kitties, having breakfast!

They’re just a great way to start the day! :-D

As for the rest of the day, things were just… tiring.

I got a phone call early in the day. Well, any phone call at all is unusual for us. ;-D

It was my older brother, letting me know he got a phone call from our vandal. My brother was at his work office, so he didn’t answer, but once he heard the message, he wanted to let me know about it, right away.

Amazingly, after making some nasty digs about not being allowed in the property anymore, he had the nerve to request written permission to come on the property.

There are some 2x4s in the barn, and he’s building a shed, so he wants them.

Unbelievable!

My brother was able to send me the file and I got it transcribed before I had to head out. So that was helpful, though ultimately, I never made use of it.

My first stop was at the garage to get the broken shield on my mother’s car fixed.

The tip of it was broken off. The shield had been held in place with a plastic clip that was still holding the tip in place. Since the length was changed, he ended up having to drill and screw into a new hole.

The whole thing, including the time to drive the car in, use the lift, fix it, then drive it out again, took 5 minutes.

I offered to pay, but he wouldn’t bill me anything for it.

What an awesome guy!

Since it took so little time, I was able to drive to the nearer small city and go to the court office to apply for a restraining order and involuntary mental health assessment for our vandal.

The municipality the court is in is under a mask mandate, so I had to go through the usual questioning about my not wearing one, but there were no issues when I said I was medically exempt. I explained why I was there and got the two forms explained to me, but I had to leave the space to fill them out, since the area around the counter was small, and they could only serve one person at a time. I ended up standing at a garbage/recycling station to have a flat surface to work on. Which was fine by me.

I wasn’t able to pass on any of the printouts I brought, but I was glad to have them, since as I filled out the forms, I could use them to get exact dates and remember key details. Not that there was room for much.

After passing the completed forms back, answering a few questions, swearing on the Bible (which was in a clear plastic bag, and got sprayed with sanitizer first) and getting my signatures witnessed, it was back out the door to sit and wait.

Surprisingly, it was the mental health order that was dealt with faster.

Someone came out to talk to me and, in a nutshell, she could not grant the mental health order. She did, however, tell me exactly why and what I needed, then gave me a new form to take home, so I could reapply. The biggest question was whether or not he’d been told to get help, and refused it, very recently – as in, within the last 24 hours or so. I’ve certainly told him to get help before, but I haven’t had direct contact with him in ages for a reason! All in all, she was very helpful. I think, even with how little I could fit into the form, she could tell that this was a real issue.

Then I had to wait about the restraining order. When I got called in for that, I was given the sheet that would go to the police to go over; after some details were corrected, I signed it.

I now have a court date in November.

He will be served by the police some time soon. Which means we will have to double down on keeping an eye on things, because this is likely to trigger him.

The whole time I was there was very stressful. I’ve actually had to go through some of this before we moved, but it’s very different when the person is not someone you used to be close to. My body was so tense, I had to go to the bathroom three times, just because of how much my abdomen was cramping up. My hands were shaking so bad, I could hardly write, and I felt like throwing up, all from being so physically tense. And yet, I was actually pretty calm about the whole thing, mentally. There is still that physiological response to stress, and I just had to push my way through it.

I am glad to have at least been able to get the process started. I have steps to take, and can try again with the mental health order once I get those ducks in a row.

The next while is going to require being on high alert. I thought I knew this person very well, but now, I have no idea how he will react once he’s served with the court date.

It has to stop. The process, however, is so very slow.

This is no way to live.

The Re-Farmer