We are still getting hit with the polar vortex. We’re not getting the storms hitting parts of the US, but as I write this, we’ve warmed up to -27C/-17F with a wind chill of -29C/-20F. We’re staying indoors as much as possible, and avoiding going out anywhere.
Which is frustrating, but I’ll get to the why of that, later.
First, the inspiration! This video showed up in my YouTube feed. I’ve never seen this channel before. Looks very informative.
We are fortunate to have the luxury of space in our garden – space that will be utilized for accessibility and mobility – but this video covers a lot of what we are planning on, including chickens and our food forest (in this video, it’s an orchard). Fencing the entire garden is not really an option for us, given just how big it is, and how many trees there are. Cattle panels are not an option, either. I keep hearing about how cheap they are, but maybe that’s a US thing, because every place I’ve looked, they are ridiculously expensive. I’ve had stucco wire recommended by my cousin. Those are a lot more affordable, but obviously, not as heavy duty.
I’ve been wanting to have chickens for quite a few years now, and intended to build a portable coop large enough for at least a dozen chickens. That just hasn’t been happening, for a variety of reasons. So we’re breaking down and are going to try to buy a small chicken coop, with an enclosed run, on a payment plan. It’ll only fit up to 6 chickens, which would be enough to keep us in eggs a bit. That can tide us over until we can build something larger and house meat birds, too.
All in good time.
Now for the updates.
My brother got a call yesterday.
My mother’s panel for a personal care home has been approved!
That was waaaaayyy faster than I expected! They must really need her room. 😁
It does mean that she is no longer covered by our health care system, and is being charged by the day as a long term care client, rather than a patient. Meanwhile, they will find a bed for her in a temporary long term care facility and transfer her, once that happens. I expect that to go relatively quickly, too, if only because they need to free up the room she’s in.
My brother has already cancelled my mother’s cable, and today he’s gone over to pack up the cable box to send back to the company, before going to the hospital. He found a fairly recent photo of our vandal to include on her file, so that staff know who to look out for, and wanted to get that over as quickly as possible.
Now we need to focus on clearing out my mother’s apartment – but don’t throw anything away!!
She is so attached to her material goods, even to the point that she wants to control what happens to some of them to the next generation. She doesn’t actually have anything of value, really, other than in her own mind, or sentimental value – and by sentimental value, I mean for me and my siblings, mostly, because she doesn’t seem to actually have sentimental attachment to anything. She quite happily destroyed things that belonged to both my late father and my late aunt.
I need to get to my mother’s apartment and start packing and cleaning, bit by bit.
Hence the frustration.
I intended to start this some time ago, but with the cold, and now the check engine light turning on again with the truck, I have been leery of going anywhere. We only have one vehicle, and if that breaks down, we are in serious trouble.
*sigh*
I just checked the temperatures again, and it’s actually gotten colder instead of warmer. It’s still a few hours before we’re supposed to reach the high of our day.
Tomorrow is looking to be less severe, though, so I might try to head over then. After tomorrow, the extreme polar vortex temperatures should be over, and we’ll just be dealing with normal cold again, and I should be able to head over regularly.
I don’t expect we’ll have it empty by the end of the month, but we might. It’s the bigger furniture that’s going to be an issue. The loveseat she has, which matched the sofa that’s still here on the farm, is broken, though not badly. It will likely be thrown out. The mattress and box spring will have to be thrown out, of course. The rest…
*sigh*
She crammed so much into that little apartment.
My brother and SIL assured me, we’ll figure it out.
At least I won’t have to worry about all my mother’s papers, pictures and basically anything fabric. That’s my sister’s problem. We will be dealing with her kitchen supplies, nic nacs and furniture. My brother and SIL can’t really take anything, other than the papers my brother needs to take care of my mother’s affairs as PoA. I doubt they’ve even finished unpacking themselves. Where they are now is meant to be temporary, as they’ve gotten on a list for a privately run supportive living apartment in a complex that was still under construction when they sold their acreage. The waiting list was already years long but, once there’s an opening, they need to be able to move quickly.
The plow went by, increasing the snow ridge at the end of the driveway. It really wasn’t that bad and we could have driven through. The problem is, between the plow ridges and the driving, the end of the driveway was getting narrower and narrower. I needed to get that opened up, before the next polar vortex hits.
I love that ice scraper. It does a bang up job of cutting through hard packed plow ridge snow!
Technically, today was warmer, and there was less wind, but even a slight breeze brought was was -20C/-4F to a “real feel” of -31C/-24F. I was well bundled but, by the end of it, my toes and finger tips were starting to feel it!
While I was out there, my mother called from the hospital. I didn’t see my daughter’s message until I was putting things away, almost an hour later. My mother apparently sounded frustrated.
So when I called back, I made sure to talk to the nurse, first. I found out that she has been refusing her afternoon pain meds. Because she’s been in so much pain with her back, and the Voltaren wasn’t enough anymore, they now have she scheduled to take painkillers 3 times a day, instead of “as needed”. She’s apparently been having better days and saying no to the pills.
When talking to her about it later, she told me, she’s taking so many pills! Which makes it sound like it isn’t that she’s in less pain, but that she just doesn’t want to take another pill.
*sigh*
I asked the nurse about my mother getting Xrays, but she could find nothing on the file about it. She made notes to talk to the doctor about it. I also brought up that we need to have a meeting with the doctor, so she made notes for someone that can check his schedule, and to call my brother to book a time. My schedule is flexible, so I can work around his.
Then I got transferred to my mother’s room.
*sigh*
She was shouting right from her “hello”. It actually hurt my ears. When I asked her why she was shouting, it was “so you can hear me.”
Yeah, Mom. I can hear you. So can everyone outside your door and down the hall!
No, I didn’t say that out loud.
She then starting complaining. No one is calling. No one is visiting. No one cares (she includes the hospital staff on that). Why doesn’t my brother call or visit?
So I told her about his going to her place to replace the window from the AC set up, then about the woman who fell. She actually knows the woman, as she often does the Gospel readings in church. When I told her about the fall and my brother taking her to the hospital, she only wanted to know, which hospital. I told her, and she started saying, she has children, why did my brother drive her. Her (adult) children weren’t there (I think they live in the city!). Even when I told her, my brother probably saved her life, because if he hadn’t seen her, there was a good chance she would have frozen to death before anyone got to her.
She didn’t care.
She also didn’t have any appreciation for my brother going out to her apartment in the severe cold, getting the window done, helping a neighbour, and still driving her to the farm to drop off the AC, in the dark.
Instead, she kept complaining about how no one calls or visits her. I finally told her that, right then, she was making me regret calling her back, and called her out on how nasty she was being.
She – sarcastically – thanked me for being open with her.
*sigh*
After that, the call was better. She did complain that money was probably taken from her bank account for her apartment. I told her that she IS still renting it. All her things are still there. Of course she has to pay for it. That got us to talking about her things and what she wants done with them.
Don’t throw anything away, she keeps saying.
We’ve got an entire building filled with personal belongings we packed from this house – a building we could really use as the workshop it used to be – that she insists we don’t throw away. Now, we’ll have more, and we’ve already run out of storage space.
Then she demanded I tell her what I planned to do with a particular mirror she’s had stuck in her storage closet for the past 10 years. Something she gets obsessed about, every now and then. I finally had to tell her, don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of it.
Then she started going on about how, really, my sister should be taking care of her more, she and her husband are both on pension, she doesn’t need to be working, she should be taking care of Mom.
I’m sure my sister has been nagged about that a few times, already!
I was eventually able to get a word in – right after she told me, she wants to get out of there! – and told her, I think her problem is, she’s bored. She’s there by herself, with nothing to do, and she’s bored. We talked about it a bit, and she agreed. She is bored and lonely! Which, I told her, is completely understandable!
Well, this post got interrupted by a call from my brother.
We have a meeting booked with the doctor. They got us in as quickly as they could, and it’s an evening meeting, so that works for my brother. It was noted that, since we are dealing with cognitive issues with my mother, she won’t be there, and won’t even be told about it. Our concern was that, if she knew in advance, she’d end up telling our vandal about it, and he could cause problems.
It sucks having to even consider these things.
As for me, I am done for the day. I’m glad I got the end of the driveway cleared, but I’m really going to be paying for it, tonight, even with my meds!
I have to admit, though, I did quite enjoy the shoveling!
Almost. They moved before I could get my phone out to take a picture. When I first came in, Grommet’s chest was plastered against the window screen, with Stinky plastered over top of him. Enjoying the warm air coming from the bathroom! We keep the bathroom door closes, so none of the inside cats come in, so it doesn’t affect our thermostat. The window gets opened when someone is in the shower, to let moisture out, since the ceiling fan stopped working. Again.
They want in. 😄
My first order of business today was to go to my mother’s apartment and check on things. As I was doing the morning routine, though, it was still so incredibly slippery. I knew the roads wouldn’t be as bad, but just walking around the yard was insanely dangerous. I ended up grabbing a bucket and a spade and collecting ashes from the fire pit. There wasn’t enough to do all the paths, but I was able to scatter ashes on the main ones, including to the garage door. What a difference that made!
Happily, the roads were well plowed and nowhere near as icy, and the highway was mostly clear. What wasn’t was wet, rather than icy. We exceeded our predicted high and reached 3C/37F, though the town my mother’s apartment is in was a bit warmer, and the town the hospital is in reached 5C/41F, according to one of the announcement signs I passed while on my way home!
I hadn’t had breakfast before I left and by the time I got to my mother’s town, it was lunch time, so I paused to pick up some fried chicken and wedges at our favourite gas station, and took it to my mother’s to eat.
When I got there, I found a message from my daughter. She had been in the shower when my mother phoned, and she could actually hear her shouting to the answering machine. She was asking where I was, sounding very angry and out of breath.
So I immediately called the hospital to talk to someone at the nursing station. I told her I was at my mother’s apartment, but my mother had called our home, yelling at the answering machine and sounding out of breath. Before I had a chance to say I was going to be there later, she said she would check on my mother right away and ended the call. I was good with that!
I started to eat my breakfast when I got another message from my daughter. My mother had called again. My daughter wasn’t near a phone so it went to machine again, and she could hear my mother demanding to know where I was, and that it was an emergency.
!!!
After that call, my daughter told me she was going to keep a handset close by, so she could answer before it went to the answering machine. Thankfully, it turned out to be unnecessary.
I called the hospital back.
When I got the nurse again, it seems she heard my mother making that call, and saying it was an emergency.
There was no emergency.
My mother tried to say, oh, it was just to my daughter. The nurse told me she explained to her that when you say “emergency” it can mean very different things.
What she wanted was for me to visit.
*sigh*
I’ve since listened to both messages. They were both very short, and wow, did she sound furious!
I told her that I was checking on my mother’s apartment in another town at the time, but that I would be visiting her in the afternoon, with a few errands in between, and she promised she would let my mother know this.
After that, I could finally finish eating!
I then packed up a few things, mostly canned goods, and shifted things from her freezer to the fridge before setting it as low as it could go. I’ll come back soon to clean out the jars of frozen stuff (I can’t quite tell what some of them are). After that, the fridge can be shut off entirely and cleaned.
I took care of a few more little things before heading out. My next stop was the hardware store, looking for some Roof Melt, but they didn’t have any. Then I drove to the next town to visit my mother in the hospital.
When I got to her room, I was surprised to see her door wide open. There was quite a bit of bustle going on, with my mother in a wheelchair and some of her things packed up. They were in the process of moving her to another room!
My arrival paused things. They had been about to have my mother set up in the hallway while they cleared her room, but with me there, did I want to take her to the cafeteria, instead?
Which is when another nurse walked in and said, no.
??
My mother wasn’t going to be moved. They would move someone else.
The shuffling has to do with the size of the rooms. People like my mother, who are there for longer periods, get the “corner” rooms, as they are larger, and single beds. They were going to move my mother so that someone from a smaller room could be moved into hers, but decided to instead move the other patient to the room they were going to move my mother to. So my mother could stay where she was!
This hospital only has 8 extended care beds, and 4 “special care” beds. I think my mother is in an extended care bed.
So, that commotion done, I helped my mother transfer from the wheelchair to her favourite chair in the corner. She was clearly in a lot of pain.
Once everything was settled, I jokingly said, “so, I hear you’ve been difficult!”
I then told her that, when she had tried to call me, I was at her apartment, checking on things. I could see she was torn between happy that I was doing that, and angry that I wasn’t there when I called!
She chose angry.
For the next while, she ranted about how they are not taking care of her, they don’t care. She hasn’t seen a doctor. They don’t care. They see all these other patients, but not her. They don’t care. They say she’s been seen by doctors, but she has eyes and she hasn’t seen any doctors, the entire time she’s been there. They don’t care. They walk around in the hallways talking, instead of taking care of her. They don’t care.
She wants to leave.
She even said, she could go back to her apartment.
*sigh*
I totally understand that she wants to leave! She’s been there for about a month now. It took a while of explaining (you’re on their side! you always make excuses for them!) things like she can’t leave without a doctor discharging her. She can’t go back to her apartment, because she would have the same problem of not having help available when she needs it. No one knows where she is going next and yes, we are frustrated about that, too!
Thankfully, between that and a nurse coming in a couple of times to refresh her water, etc., my mother finally calmed down and we could talk normally.
One of the things she brings up is her pain. Apparently, she ran out of Voltaren, so she went into the hall with the empty tube, asking for more, but they aren’t using it on her (she’s now scheduled to have it applied twice a day). Someone finally took the empty tube and said they would get a new one, but they were running around tending to other patients, but not her.
…
I had to explain again, that she is actually doing really good. Her treatment right now is all the pills she’s taking (thirteen! Yes; they’ve added in her painkillers…), checking her vitals, etc. She asked, why are they weighing her all the time, so I explained that it’s to keep track of any changes. A sudden change in weight is a warning sign.
She was somewhat mollified.
As for her pain, I told her I would talk to the nursing station and see if they can get some Xrays done and see what’s going on. It’s probably arthritis, and there isn’t much they can do about that, but at least they would have a better idea of what’s going on. She was very happy at that suggestion.
Then I found out my sister had come by yesterday, which is her mid week day off. My sister never complains, I was told. And she’s never in a hurry, I was told.
*sigh*
My mother is so determined to drive wedges between us.
Then she told me our vandal visited yesterday.
Twice.
!!!!
It seems he was being treated yesterday, and he visited her before and after treatment. During one of them, he brought someone along. My mother wasn’t sure what they were, but it sounds like they were a therapist or counselor or something like that. He was, of course, on his best behaviour, and even asked her to sing some songs for him.
…
Red flags, all over the place.
Also, the doctors have apparently told him there is nothing more they can do for him. Which means his condition is terminal.
More red flags.
Based on past history with my late father, we’re going to have to be on the lookout that he doesn’t show up with a lawyer or something, and try to get Power of Attorney away from my brother. My mother would be very easily manipulated at this point.
Someone from the hospital, meanwhile, had called my brother last night and requested a copy of his PoA documents. I have copies of them, so I was able to bring them today. That, at least, has been taken care of.
Meanwhile, my mother talked about how our visits were “like medicine” and she felt so much better.
I’m not sure what she expects. She had visitors yesterday, but today she was calling us in a fury, demanding my presence? The only reason she told me about her visits yesterday was because I mentioned I had originally intended to visit yesterday, but the conditions were too slippery. I told her, now that she’s in town, I will be able to visit more often, but I don’t know when that would be exactly, from week to week. She told me, she would at least be happy with a phone call.
Then she started complaining that my calls weren’t getting through to her, and the nurse had to pass on messages. I explained to her that when I call, it’s to the nursing station, and they transfer me only when I ask them to. Since I was at her apartment, I had instead asked them to pass on the message, that I would be visiting.
I had to repeat it a few times, but I think she got it.
I’m happy to say that, when I left, it was on a good note. Very different from when I first arrived!
As promised, I stopped at the nursing station to pick up the documents, then talk about the possibility of getting X-rays for my mother. I mentioned that my mother still insists a doctor has never seen her. The nurse I was speaking to told me that she was with the main doctor when he saw her – this would be the one black doctor in the entire hospital that my mother doesn’t remember seeing. She did admit that it’s been a while since he’d seen her.
When I mentioned her pain, I was asked if my mother had been in any accidents, and I told them about her car accident, years ago, that is why one of her knees is currently bent sideways. As for her back and hip pain, it’s probably osteoarthritis. We talked about her current pain medication, which clearly isn’t cutting it anymore, and even the Voltaren doesn’t seem to be working as well anymore, either. The nurse promised to talk to the doctor about arranging X-rays, so they can have more information and determine any changes in her painkillers, at least. That’s about as much as they can do right now!
That done, I did the rest of my own errands before heading home. With how warm things got today, I knew the roads were going to get quite icy again.
If all goes well, I expect to be back at my mother’s apartment this weekend. Possibly with my brother, if he can squeeze out the time.
We’re going to need to get moving boxes or bins and packing material soon. We still don’t know where my mother is going but, with my brother’s availability, it would be good to get things mostly packed up before the end of the month.
We really need to get some idea of what’s happening next with my mother! All we know is “she’s not going home” – but until that’s official, there still is the possibility that they’ll discharge her to go back to her apartment.
I ended up awake for most of the night. Just couldn’t sleep for some reason.
Which turned out to be a good thing!
I spotted a message waiting for me, from the woman we passed Kohl on to, yesterday. (Kohl, I’ve just been informed, is now with her foster, and I will get more updates once they connect again, later today.)
Of course, we ended up talking cats. I was asked about any adult friendlies that were already spayed or neutered that could go into foster for adoption.
The problem is, it seems the fosters they have (and they urgently need more) are not equipped to socialize more feral cats. Yes, we have friendlies, and yes, they have access to things like litter boxes that they use, but they are still outside cats. They need to learn how to transition to the indoor life. We’ve been fortunate in having several that just came indoors and adapted immediately. However, even Tiny, who came in as a kitten before she was old enough to go into her first heat, has still not completely adapted. There are just too many cats, and she is a shy one. I hardly ever even get a chance to pet her, and it’s been about 2 – 2 1/2 years. She has, however, bonded with David. He doesn’t care all that much, but she adores him.
In the end, I suggested that it would be easier if we put some of the inside cats out for adoption (while still focusing on getting outside cats spayed and neutered), but not necessarily going to fosters. If we can make enough space indoors, that would free us up to take in an outside cat or two at a time, to socialize them to the indoor life before they get put up for adoption. Right now, we just don’t have the space for it. We’re used to working with outside cats to get them indoors. Something most fosters aren’t.
I was asked how many we had inside, which is currently 21. Of those, all but four, possibly five, should be adopted. Which would be great, though I suspect at least three of them would be considered “unadoptable”. It’s hard enough to adopt out healthy kittens. People just don’t want adult cats much, and they certainly don’t want ones that aren’t “perfect” for some reason. Tiny and David would need to go as a bonded pair. It’s not going to be easy. I’ve seen some of the cats and kittens they’ve been posting about that still haven’t been adopted out. If no one is interested in those gorgeous, healthy cats, it’s going to be much harder for some of ours.
We shall see. Hopefully, some of them have traits that appeal to people who want a “different” cat.
I did mention Sir Robin in the conversation, though, as he has not been well. He needs vet care, but we don’t have the funds for it. I was asked for pictures and possibly video of friendly outside cats, so when I did the morning feeding, I took as many as I could, with a focus on Sir Robin.
Stinky needs a new name. He doesn’t fart on people anymore. 😄 He’s one of the neutered and socialized adult cats that would make a great indoor cat.
I spent much of the morning, sending pictures of specific cats and passing on as much information as I had. That meant looking up old photos. Which always leads to mixed emotions. It’s awesome to see some of them as kittens and growing up, but then there’s all the pictures of cats and kittens that didn’t make it. There has been quite a lot. Even just this past year, quite a few adults disappeared. Brussel, Caramel, Lady Hypotenose, Ink, Syndol, Patience, Magda and a similar looking cat with no name. Only Poirot was one where we knew what happened, and it was pure chance we spotted her remains on the road at all. Then there are the kittens we lost, plus the adults we don’t see enough to be sure if they are gone, or just away for a while – or they look so similar, we just can’t tell when any are missing. The white and greys can be really hard to tell apart, along with the grey or brown tabbies.
So we are going to work on getting glamour shots of the inside cats. We’re thinking of putting together “set” in the living room, so we can bring one cat in at a time to get some photos and video. One person would play with the cat to get its attention, while the other tries to get good photos and/or video.
What we can’t do is have people come to our place to look at the cats in person. Aside from being out of the way, whenever we have people here, our vandal starts stalking again, and they’d be driving past his place to get to us. Which means we’d have to arrange to meet in town, instead. That wouldn’t happen until after potential adoptees have started the application process with the rescue.
Meanwhile, they’re going to see if they can arrange for appointments for more spays or neuters. I still have the donated funds for the three that didn’t get done, because they were too small, so we’re looking to probably start with three at once. I’d be grabbing whoever is easiest to get, which are all males, though I would really want to get Frank in. Seeing how bloody she was after she had her kittens has me thinking she might not survive another pregnancy.
I so appreciate this new rescue trying to help us, even with our rather unusual issues. They were overwhelmed with cats before they even officially opened, and things haven’t really changed.
What we need in our area is our own version of the Furball Farm Cat Sanctuary, specializing in strays and ferals. Our colony is just one of many in our region. From what I hear, it’s even worse at the town to the north of us, and that’s saying a lot!
You know, when we moved out here, the last thing I expected was to find ourselves in this situation! We’ve found ourselves as an unexpected rescue in the past, but nothing like what we’re dealing with now! That was more along the lines of “we discovered black mold in our house and need to move immediately, but can’t take our cats with us, please help!” and “I’m going overseas for a job for the next year or two, can you take my cats?” sort of thing. Not a colony situation, with bringing female cats in as population control, or others because they had to have surgery and couldn’t go back outside.
Still, I can certainly understand why my late father loved his cats! My mother didn’t like having pets indoors, but there was always barn cats, even after they retired from farming, and they made my father so happy.
They do have a way of worming their way into our hearts, that’s for sure!
Well, I hope you all had a wonderful time bringing in the New Year! Or, at least, a calm and peaceful one. 😁
I didn’t make it to midnight. 😄
It actually turned out to be a very strange day for me. I’d gone to bed early, so I was up pretty early. I did the outside cats stuff and my short, winter version of my morning rounds, then tried to go back to bed. After numerous interruptions, I did actually get some sleep. So, you’d think I would have been good to stay up until midnight. After all, I rarely get to be before midnight on a normal day. Instead, I could have easily gone back to bed by 5 or 6.
The other odd thing was my body was basically falling apart, all day. Just with normal walking around the house, I’d have a knee start to give out, or a hip start to dislocate. Even just reaching to flush the toilet had my shoulder socket trying to dislocate. Then there were my hands! At one point, I’d made myself a hot drink in one of my giant mugs, which are basically twice the size of a typical coffee mug. When I tried to pick it up by the handle, I found I didn’t have enough grip strength to clasp the handle enough to keep it from sliding through my fingers. I ended up having to ask a daughter to pick it up for me, so that I could grasp it with both hands. It wasn’t until the cup was half empty that I could grip the handle with one hand and not be at risk of dropping it. It was so bizarre!
That was yesterday, but when I woke up today, it was pretty much back to normal. I have no idea why I had such issues yesterday, that would go away overnight like that.
This morning I was feeling good enough that, after doing my rounds, I scraped and cleared the sidewalks and main doorway steps, tidy up the paths that were already dug, and even started to extend more paths. Little by little, I want to dig our way to the fire pit again, but I was going to head back out to open up the turn around space in the inner yard. We will be doing our Costco stock up trip soon, and I want to be able to back up to the house with more room to turn the truck around in the yard.
Well, that’s going to be my focus for tomorrow, instead.
I had called my mother last night to with her a Happy New Year, and she gave me a bit of a list of things she wanted from her place. One of those things was her short wave radio that my brother got for her, so she could listen to her Polish station, with Mass and praying of the rosary.
I passed on to my brother bout the radio, and this morning they told me they were going to her place to get it, and did I want to meet them at the hospital to visit Mom?
I suggested I meet them at her apartment, so I could back some things for her, then they could grab the radio, then we’d go to the hospital together.
So that was the new plan for the day. I was able to leave soon after, which was really early, but I wasn’t sure if I needed to do any shoveling at the end of the driveway. It turned out I didn’t, and there was no need for the plows to go by again. That had me at my mother’s place before they even left home. Which was just fine.
I checked her answering machine, then packed a few things in a bag for my mother, spotting some things I figured she would like to have, even though she hadn’t asked for them directly. I also made sure to water her rosemary plant. That will be coming here to the farm eventually, but I didn’t want to grab it only to have it sitting in a cold truck until I could get home.
I was even able to get the radio partially ready. I just couldn’t get the special antennae down from where it was taped to the window. I’m too short. So when my brother got there, that was all he had to deal with, so he was done and we were heading out in less than 5 minutes.
They have one of their grandsons with them for a while, and the long drives were great for him to get a solid nap in!
Once there, my brother immediately started trying to set up the radio and antennae. In the end, there was just no way to get a strong enough signal for her FM radio station. He was able to find it, but it was really hard to hear, and there was no place he could set up the antennae and get a better signal.
My mother could not grasp why this was an issue. She was instead convinced my brother had bought her a “junk” radio (it is a very high end shortwave radio), because she never had problems before. Meaning, also back here at the farm. My brother told her that we were getting AM radio, but what she was listening to was FM radio. I well remember how hard it was to get an FM signal here, having had to set up antennae wires from my radio when I was a kid. In the end, my brother was able to find an AM station that she used to listen to. No Polish radio, no Christian station, but one where she could at least listen to the news. All she has to do it push the red button to turn it off and on. We tried to stress for her to not touch any dials. Hopefully, she will remember that!
Meanwhile, I unpacked the items I brought for my mother, making sure where I was putting them for her. She was quite happy when she saw some of the extras I’d bought, as they were things she wanted, but had forgotten to ask for.
We then had ourselves a decently long visit. She did seem really tired, and had almost no patience. For example, when my brother started to set up her radio beside her, the folding hospital walker was in the way. He moved it aside and I was going to get it out of the way, but I first had to move the wheelchair aside. My mother started demanding I move the walker to a certain spot, which was basically where the wheelchair was sitting, but when I didn’t immediately do it – because I was moving the wheelchair – she suddenly became enraged and actually started to kick at the walker from where she was sitting, in such a way that could easily have resulted in a fall. When we managed to get her calmed down and I could finally move the walker, she basically just slumped into her chair and started saying how, she’s used to doing things herself, but now has to depend on us, as an explanation for her behaviour. I told her, even she couldn’t do two things, like moving a walker and a wheelchair, at the same time! Which she did acknowledge. Sort of.
It was a good visit, though at times a distracting one, with a very energetic great grandson around. My brother got some recordings of my mother telling stories and singing. I’m glad he thinks to do that. I hardly ever remember to even take photos when I visit!
Once we were done with the visit, we wanted to go somewhere to chat and catch up on things. Being New Year’s Day, the only place that was open and had seating was a Subway. It wasn’t a busy time of day, so we were able to stay and talk for quite a long time. Again, it was very distracted with their grandson, but none of us minded. Eventually, we were able to cover quite a few things, and I even learned more about things that happened while we were living in other provinces over the years. We’re all quite confused over my sister’s recent actions involving our vandal which, I learned, has been a problem for quite some time. It seems both our vandal and my mother have been able to manipulate her very easily. Which is odd, because she really should know better by now. In all honesty, it seems my sister is showing cognitive issues as well, and is not at all as healthy as she may seem. I see way too many red flags. But, she’s skinny, and we all know that skinny people don’t get sick, right? /sarcasm
In the end, we just have to work with the hand we are dealt with and do the best we can, for each other as well as for our mother.
It was getting pretty late in the afternoon by the time we parted ways. One of the two grocery stores in town was open today, so I made a quick stop to pick up a few things before our Costco stock up trip. I haven’t decided exactly when I’ll be doing that, other than not-tomorrow. We are actually supposed to warm up slowly over the next 7-10 days, with expected highs next week just a few degrees below freezing. A good time to do more snow clearing, very little of which can be done with little Spewie. The parts that can be done with Spewie still need to be broken up with a shovel, first. The snow is deeper than Spewie is tall, and much of it is now hard packed by the wind.
One thing I’ve been able to see through various windows are some pretty large fallen branches, but they will have to wait until spring for clean up.
So what was supposed to be a home day ended up being an out all day, day. The nice thing is that I’ve got the girls able to take over my usual outside routine while I’m gone – plus, I came home to supper waiting for me! 😊
As for my mother, we’re going to have to wait until her attending doctor comes back from holidays before we can have a meeting with him and discuss next steps. Once we have something solid to work on, we’ll be able to make decisions about my mother’s apartment.
*sigh*
I have no idea what we’re going to do with her furniture. It’ll probably have to come here to the farm, but we’ve pretty much run out of storage space for larger stuff. We still have all the stuff we cleared out of the house and packed away, because my mother insisted nothing be thrown out. Fair enough. Most of it is in too good a shape to throw away. She did say we could have a garage sale, but that wouldn’t work out well. Not just because of our relative isolation, but that would be an open invitation for our vandal to cause problems. She’s also adamant that nothing goes to any second hand stores, either. So what are we supposed to do with it all?
Ah, well. We’ll figure it out, in due time.
Until then, here’s some cuteness to share with you.
This is Leyendecker and Susan. Can you believe they are siblings from the same litter – and that Leyendecker started out as the tiniest kitten of the litter? He’s an absolute giant, compared to his sister. He’s not just a fat cat, but a big beast in general. He’s even bigger than Big Rig, who was the largest kitten of the litter. She’s a chonk, too, but not quite as big as he is. Susan is one of our smaller, lighter cats now. Their mom is Beep Beep, who is a pretty normal sized cat. Bigger than Susan, but still dwarfed by two of her last babies, before we were finally able to get her fixed.
Okay, I should have gone back over my old posts, first.
Susan is not from the same litter as Leyendecker. She’s one of Beep Beep’s, but older. Beep Beep’s last litter included Leyendecker, Big Rig and two orange babies, Saffron and Turmeric. She also adopted Butterscotch’s last surviving kitten, Nikko, from that year. The orange babies and Butterscotch’s baby all got adopted out. They were pretty much the first kittens the Cat Lady adopted out for us, before she started her own rescue. My daughters just reminded me that Susan is Cheddar’s sibling. So… she is still the tiny sister of a giant cat. Just not the biggest chonky boy of the household! 😄
It gets hard to keep track, at times! It’s a good think I journal this stuff here, or I’d never remember. 😄
This is what I find pretty much every time I open the inner door from the old kitchen. Sir Robin, perched on the edge of the screenless window. He stays balanced, even as I open and close the door! Sometimes, there are two or three cats on there when I open the door.
Today has been a pretty uneventful day, with just normal daily routine, except for two things.
The first was a call I got from my brother. He’d received a call from the hospital, and the first thing he said to me was, our mother is okay!
She had a fall today. She somehow managed to slide off the toilet. She was able to reach the call button, but when they arrived, she refused help. !!! She managed to get up on her own, which amazes me, considering the state of her knees. No injuries. No bruises. She’s fine.
She did, however, tell them she can’t go home. She can’t take care of herself anymore. I’ve been saying this from the start, and I know my brother has as well, but she is finally voicing it more directly, too.
My brother did try to talk to someone at the nursing home my mother wants to go to. He got the run around on who he should be talking to, only to be told he should be talking to someone else, instead, etc.
What I found interesting is that the staff there remember my late father, with fondness. My father passed away almost 10 years ago. He was in the nursing home for only about 6 months. Yet, they still remember him! That it is with fondness is no surprise. Every time I called my dad, he would always comment on how well they took care of him. My father was always showing his gratitude and appreciation.
God, I miss him.
The other thing was my sister. No details, of course, but she finally responded to my calling her out on her telling our vandal that my mother was in the hospital. I was careful to challenge what she did, without attacking her personally. Basic rule of debate and argumentation: attack the idea, not the person.
Well, she never addressed a single point I made, but instead attacked me personally while making herself out to be a victim again.
Long store short, I ended up blocking her on FB, and removing her from the family group chat.
There is background to this, which I will not go into, here, but I’m still disappointed. Not surprised, but I had hoped it would not end up this way.
The frustrating part is, my mother makes a big deal about how we wants us all to get along, but she’s the one that keeps playing us against each other, wanting us to keep secrets from each other, and it was her manipulation of my sister that lead to this.
I feel very tired right now, and not in a physical sense.
Ha! Colby looks so angry in that first picture. The second picture is a feral we can’t touch. S/he always seems to have one eye half closed, and it’s not always the same eye. We might have to call him/her Wink! 😁
The third picture is Hypotenose. He was really wanting attention today!
Last of all, we had Stinky, glowing in the sunlight, and the fluffy feral that looks like Fluffy, but has more white on the chest. This one is finally accepting the offer of food, up on that window shelf, and sometimes, I can sneak a touch.
In other things…
I’m happy to say, my left knee that I bashed last night is doing pretty good. There’s swelling and I can still see a mark, but it doesn’t hurt to the touch, like my right knee still does. That one is getting very colourful as it recovers.
I still can’t figure out how I managed to bash that left knee so hard into the door.
Meanwhile…
Last night, I got an automated notification from my mother’s Lifeline system. When their system reads there might be a technical issue with connectivity, it sends these with instructions to test it. My mother has the Lifeline pendant with her in the hospital. I’ll have to remember to grab that and return it to her apartment.
The notification came so late in the day that, when I called the 800# in the message, it went straight to an answering service that said to call back during office hours. So I called them up today. The call went straight to voice mail, so I let them know my mother was in the hospital and we don’t know when – or if – she is coming home, so to suspend her service for now.
I called the hospital to see how things were with her, and was able to talk to her nurse for today. He had just checked on her. We talked about her concerns with the pills she’s getting. He confirmed that she has been getting her eye vitamin for the past while, though it was a tablet version, not the almost black gel cap type pill she was used to. He told me she empties the pill cup into her palm and counts the pills every time, but sometimes miscounts. This morning, she counted 7 when there were 8, and he suggested she count again. She got the right number the second time. I explained about how, with home care, they would sometimes drop pills, so we had a special little bowl with a lid to put the pills into, that made it easy to count them. Her failing vision may be a contributing factor, too.
Still no information from any doctors on her condition, nor what the next stage will be.
I then got transferred to her room to talk to her, and she was very happy for the call. I told her some of what the nurse told me, and she requested her little bowl to put the pills into for counting. I don’t know when I’ll be at her place next, though, but she said there is no hurry.
She mentioned they took away her painkillers. These would have been her T3s from home. I suspect she may have been taking them, then forgetting she took them and took them again. She brought up again how, she’s taking all these pills, but she still feels this or that – things that are unrelated to what she is being medicated for. Then she asked me to bring her Pepto. It took some questioning, but it seems the hospital did have her some sort of substitute. White instead of pink, and more liquidy. Apparently, it isn’t helping, so she wants her Pepto – but don’t tell them about it! I told her, I can bring the Pepto (I have her spare bottles here at home), but she can’t be hiding things from the hospital staff. They need to know if she’s taking something.
We have plans to go into town tomorrow and pick up a few extras for New Year’s, so I can swing by to visit her as well.
Then she mentioned that her niece had visited her a few times.
This surprised me, because we’ve been making a point of not telling anyone my mother is in the hospital, so our vandal doesn’t find out. My cousin is still pretty close with him, as far as we know, so we weren’t going to tell her. I asked my mother who told her, and she thinks it was my sister, but didn’t know for sure.
After I finished talking to my mother, then updating my siblings, I called the nursing station back and explained the situation. There isn’t much they can do if our vandal shows up, but they are now at least aware of a potential problem. Hopefully, he’s too sick to visit my mother and try to guilt her into giving him money or something, and it’ll be a non-issue.
It really sucks that we have to even think about that sort of thing while my mother is in the hospital!
Well, it is what it is, and we’ll deal. The main thing is, there will now be a notice on her file and they are aware of a potential issue. If all goes well, he still knows nothing about my mother and everything will stay quiet.
Today’s main goal was to get to my mother’s place and clear out her refrigerator of perishable items, then get her bubble packs to the hospital, before the snow arrived.
My daughter came with me to help out, so she was able to get started on the fridge while I packed a bag of stuff for my mother. There were a few things she asked specifically for, and others I grabbed that I knew she would want, such as her daily devotions book (which is held together with duct tape, she’s read and re-read it so often), the LED candle I got for her for when she said her prayers and when someone from church brought her communion, and a couple of rosaries. A neighbor has been bringing her mail for years and sliding it under her door, and there were a few envelopes we brought for her, too. Of course, I also brought her knee warmers that I washed and added elastic cord to, which will hopefully keep them from sliding off, and the warm sleeping cap I made for her yesterday.
I had done a grocery shopping trip for my mother shortly before she went into the hospital, so there was quite a bit for us to bring home! Some things had to be thrown away, so we took out her garbage, too. I even remembered to give her rosemary plant a deep watering. There are still a few things in her fridge that aren’t perishable that we are leaving until we come back to shut it off and clean it all out. Not sure when that will happen.
Once everything was packed up, checked out, put away and tended to, my daughter and we had 5 of our hard sided grocery bags to bring home (!!!) plus the items to bring to the hospital. That included her bubble packs that they asked for, plus I found and grabbed the prescription anti-fungal medication for her infected toe that she never used, as she can’t apply it herself. My daughter remembered to grab the baggie of foot care stuff I brought for her, which can now only be used by her, unless sterilized.
It didn’t take very long with two of us working on it, and we were soon loaded and heading to the hospital.
When we got there, my first stop was at the nursing station to drop of my mother’s bubble packs. I pointed out the eye vitamins, and the woman I spoke to said they just don’t have those at all. I also brought out the anti-fungal medication and explained that my mother couldn’t apply it herself. I don’t know that they do that sort of foot care. You’d think they would, considering it’s a hospital, but as I told her what it was, she seemed very… confused? Not sure what other word to use, but it left me thinking, it’s not going to get used.
My mother was sleeping when came in, so we tried to be quiet, but she heard us and got up. We showed her what we brought for her, some of which needed repeating, but she eventually got it and was able to instruct us on where to put things. Then we stayed for a bit of a visit and a chat. That went over well, for the most part – she was happy to see my daughter this time. There were a couple of head shakers, though.
She started telling us that things are quieter at night, now, because she was saying something (I shudder to think how she phrased things). There’s even a hand written sign on her door, to keep closed at all times. She started getting into her favourite thing to complain about: people laughing. As she went on about it, we tried to say, laughing is good. It’s healthy. It’s one thing to have an issue with how loud things are, but there’s nothing wrong with laughing.
Turns out, she really does think there’s something wrong with laughing. People shouldn’t be laughing in the hospital, because there are sick people who are feeling bad, and that will make them feel worse. Of course, she is projecting herself, here, and assumes other patients are as bothered by it as she is. This attitude towards laughing is not new at all. Even when we would be in a restaurant or something and people at another table would laugh loudly, she would get angry. As if she thought they were laughing at her (in some instances, she really did think people were laughing at her, even though they were talking about something else entirely). There were a few times when she would suddenly, loudly, do her sarcastic imitation of a laugh. Got some strange looks out of it, as you can imagine. My daughter even tried to point out that sometimes, people laugh to make other people feel better, and my mother’s response was that they could smile or say nice things, but laughing was for … I think she said for the bar or something like that, but I can’t quite remember. Basically, in her mind, no laughing should happen in hospitals. Because she doesn’t like it. She even tried to misuse the Bible to justify it, bringing up the verse about being happy with those who are happy, crying with those who cry, completely out of context. (ESV Romans 12: 15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”)
As you can imagine, both my daughter and I were rather stunned that my mother was so upset about other people being happy around her.
She also brought up her other favourite complaint: how the staff dresses. She said she’s been telling the nurses and doctors that they should “dress nicely” so people can tell them apart from the janitor – and, according to her, they agree with her. ??? I don’t think that’s quite it. What got us is when she started on how the doctors and nurses deserve more respect than the janitors, because a janitor doesn’t even need 12th grade, and that’s why they should dress different so people should be able to tell them apart.
She said it in such a way that I had to interject and tell her, she needs to treat janitor’s nicely, too, because they also deserve respect. She started mocking about, oh, yes, they call it “equality” and so on, but basically doubled down on how the housekeeping staff are somehow “less”. I told her, they need to be treated with respect because they are children of God, too. She actually found a way to dismiss that while pretending to agree with it at the same time. Then she mentioned some other things about the staff, making it clear she’s been grilling them about their historical and ethnic backgrounds. She was all smiles when she brought up that one nurse’s background was from Denmark. Then one of the other nurses – an Asian male – same up and her entire body language changed, and she was “oh… him.” !!! I’ve met this guy twice, and he also phoned me to follow up about my mother’s meds, asking me to brig her bubble packs over so they could give her her eye vitamins. Between my mother’s attitude and his own body language while talking about my mother, I strongly suspect she said or did something inappropriate towards him.
After updating my family, my sister brought up something that happened during her visit. A couple of guys came in, delivering water bottles. My mother said to them, “Men? You should be in construction!”
*sigh*
We talked a bit about her medications. She told me, one morning they gave her 12 pills. Another, they gave her 9. Her morning meds are usually 6 meds, including a half pill. Whatever they’re doing, they’re either not explaining it to her, or she’s forgetting if they have.
While we were there, a nurse came in to give her 2:00 water pill. So they are clearly giving her more of those than she used to take with her bubble packs. From the looks of her legs, they may want to increase the dose more!
My siblings and I are frustrated by the lack of information and communication. My mother would be difficult to communicate with, but if that’s an issue, they should be calling me. I’m top of the list of my siblings, not just because I live the closest, but because I’ve been her advocate at medical appointments for about 8 years now. If they can’t reach me, they should be calling my brother, who is her PoA. There just doesn’t seem to be anything to go on. Even when I ask the staff at the nursing station and talk to her nurse of the day, they don’t seem to know anything about what’s going on.
It’s still better than for her to be at home, of course, but we’re all pushing for her to be discharged to a nursing home, and there’s just nothing. No feedback. No communication. Meanwhile, my mother is getting all these meds that look different from what she’s used to, and she has no idea what they are giving her. Not that she understood quite all of what she was taking before, anyhow.
She told us she said to the doctor? someone, that she’s taking all these pills, so why is she still feeling so bad? I had to tell her – again – that none of the medications she is taking is for what she is feeling. They are for other, specific, things. She doesn’t get that. Apparently, taking blood pressure medication should also stop her hip from hurting. 🫤
By then, we were more than ready to leave. I could see my daughter was getting extremely uncomfortable with the things my mother was saying. We needed to get home before the weather turned, anyhow.
We did have time to make a couple of quick stops along the way, including a fill at the gas station. Still, we cut it close. As we got closer to home, we drove right into heavy snow. Thankfully, it didn’t last long and the system moved on. Tomorrow is supposed to warm up a bit, again, with no snow, so hopefully we’ll be able to get some stuff done outside.
Speaking of outside…
After we got home, my daughter finished unloading the truck after we brought the first bags of my mother’s fridge stuff in, while I moved on to giving the outside cats their evening food and warm water.
She was supposed to go to the rescue after the 20th, when a space was opened up, but the weather had other ideas. At this point, I’m hoping to have that happen maybe after New Year’s. I don’t want to push them too much on it. They are so desperate for fosters, and they have quite a few cats – mostly kittens, actually – that just aren’t being adopted. They’re really working on getting the word out, both through local organizations and social media, too, posting adoption pictures every chance they can. Some cats and kittens get adopted quickly. Others… crickets.
I was hoping that tomorrow I could stay home and get things done, but I’m looking at our cat food supply, and the weather, and thinking a trip to Walmart might be necessary (the local feed stores would not be open).
I really don’t want to do more driving. We were supposed to be able to hibernate until after New Year’s!
Image generated by WP’s AI – which really messed up the hands, as usual!!! Not sure what’s going on with that donkey and sheep on the left, either. 😂
Blessings to you and your loved ones, this glorious day!
Today, I headed over to visit my mother in the hospital earlier than planned, as we have predictions for “snow showers” this evening. I stayed until she was served her lunch – she got her turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy that she likes so much. When I was a kid, we never did turkey, unless we happened to raised some ourselves that year, so this is a preference she picked up (or finally got to indulge) some time after all us kids were grown and gone.
My mother is looking so much better. Yes, she is still struggling with pain and mobility, but her overall appearance and even mood are great. She honestly looks happier now that she’s in the hospital than I think I’ve seen her in years!
She has commented more than a few times on how good the hospital food is. She doesn’t have any dietary restrictions, and the meals I’ve seen look awesome. What I’m also appreciating is that she is no longer saying things like she needs to stop eating, she eats too much, because she’s too fat (I don’t remember my mother ever being thin). She has also stopped blaming her food, especially meat, for any problems she has had, like the mystery pain in her sternum (not related to her heartburn), or not being able to breathe at night, or headaches or [insert malady of the day here]/ In fact, now that she’s sleeping in a hospital bed that is set at an incline, I haven’t heard her complaining about her breathing, either. From what I’m seeing, she is getting an excellent ratio of protein in her meals; far more than she ate on her own, and the meals themselves are larger than what Meals on Wheels had, which she would say were soooo much food.
They are weighing her regularly, as a way to monitor how much fluids they’ve drained from her edema. She told me what she weighted today, and comments on how it was too much. I told her, this is how they keep track of how much fluids they’ve drained from her with her treatment, so she has probably lost quite a bit of weight, just in the time she’s been in the hospital. Plus, she’s 94 years old. Who cares? Seriously. If all the scare mongers were right when it comes to being fat, she should have died decades ago. Instead, she’s ridiculously healthy, as far as her vitals show. So much so, it’s almost a problem, because then the doctors just want to send her home, when she has mobility and the beginnings of cognitive issues that really should prevent that.
Thankfully, that does not seem to be the plan now. We have yet to see or talk to a doctor, and my mother says she’s seen a doctor only twice since she’s been admitted, and none of the nursing staff we talk to know anything. All they can tell us is, she’s staying for now. There are no discharge plans that they can see. I know I’ve stressed, every time I call and ask about it, that she cannot live independently anymore. I’ve even added that none of us can take her in; I have a disabled husband, and my siblings do not live in accessible housing. Plus, my sister (the oldest of us) is almost 70, so we’re not exactly spring chickens ourselves! Ha! When talking to one of the nurses one time and I mentioned that my sister (who has the closest thing to accessible housing, for at least part of her home) is almost 70, the nurse admitted she was shocked. She said she thought my mother was in her 70’s, so how could she have a daughter that was almost 70?
I told her I have plans to go to her place soon (probably tomorrow, if the roads are good) to empty our her fridge. There are a few things she asked me to bring to her as well. She told me they haven’t been giving her the special vitamin for her wet macular degeneration, so on the way out I talked to today’s nurse about it. I couldn’t remember the name of it – it’s not normally a prescription, but something you can buy off the shelf. My mother got a prescription for it specifically so they could be included in her bubble packs. He said he would look into it.
He phoned me at home some time later and asked more questions about it. Since I was at my computer, we were able to confirm the name of it. He asked me to bring her bubble packs so they could use what she has while they got authorization from their pharmacy to include it with her other meds. They should have had it on their med list for her, but I think the fact that it’s a supplement, not a prescription medication, it fell through the cracks.
My mother also admired the hat I crocheted for myself using the blanket yarn my daughter got me. She asked if I could make one for her, too! Something she can wear at night, because she gets so cold. My brother and SIL had brought her an extra blanket and slipper socks, but her head still gets cold.
So that is a project for me tonight. A simple hat worked up quickly, and I have enough of the blanket yarn left to make one.
Meanwhile, as I write this, my daughters are taking care of roasting the turkey and making our Christmas supper. Since I headed out when I did, everything got shifted around.
All in all, it’s been a very quiet Christmas, which we are quite happy with. When we lived in this province before, and my MIL was still with us, we would do Réveillon on Christmas Eve at my in-laws, Christmas day at my parents, then another big feast on Boxing day with my BIL’s family. As great as it was, we’re more than content to have our quiet Christmases at home. Or course, my husband can’t handle the trip to the city to see his family for any celebrations, anymore, either. Perhaps, one of these year’s, we’ll be up to hosting such a celebration, but my FIL isn’t very mobile, either, and probably wouldn’t be able to make it out here anymore.
The good thing is, with modern technology, we can still be “with” our family members on this happy day.
The blowing snow we had yesterday wasn’t as much as the blizzard that preceded it, but this time the winds drifted over the driveway.
Last night was bad enough that my brother and SIL had friends staying the night, because it was too dangerous to drive home. All morning, we were keeping watch on the road conditions to see if we could actually meet up and visit my mother in the hospital today or not. When doing my morning rounds, I checked the driveway. The blown in snow was light enough that I could drive through it, right up to the gate. As frustrating as it was that all my clearing of the driveway as almost completely filled in, it would have been a lot worse if it hadn’t been done first.
The first problem I had, though, started before I even went outside in the first place. The old down filled coat I’ve been wearing and patching together is finally done and unwearable. I ended up layering, the borrowing my daughter’s coat, so I could clear the end of the driveway.
By the time that was done, my brother and SIL had also dug themselves out – the winds blasted right into the front of their townhouse, and encased their car in snow. We worked out some details, and I was going to go to my mother’s place, first, to get her some fresh clothes, etc. Then I was going to meet them at the hospital.
The first picture was taken after I cleared the end of the driveway. The road was not plowed again, but it was passable.
Before heading out, I called my mother to let her know we’d be visiting her and about when we’d arrive. I told her I was going to her place first, and she added some instructions.
She also still wanted one of her bubble packs. Which they can’t use. Turns out, she believes they are just giving her random pills. I pointed out (again) they have her med list; they just have a different source for their medications. They might look different, but they are the same medications. They know what she’s supposed to be taking.
To which she responded, “do you really think they’re that smart?”
…
*sigh*
How do you answer something like that? Other than, “yes!”
Anyhow.
As I was about to leave, I realized I had no room to back out of the garage. The wind had created such a smooth drift, I couldn’t really notice how far it extended past where I’d cleared, yesterday. I went back and got the shovel, clearing just enough that I could back out of the garage. Thankfully, it was still light and fluffy snow, and didn’t’ take long.
What you can’t tell in the second photo is that there’s at least another 6 feet of drifted snow over what had been cleared, yesterday.
While messaging with my brother, we worked that that, while my daughter and I are headed to the city tomorrow for our first January stock up shop, and the last shop before Christmas, he will be coming out here and getting one of his snow blowers going. It will be MUCH easier to clear the show with a gas powered snow blower than my little Spewie which, technically, is called an electric shovel, not a snow blower.
When heading out to my mother’s, I layered up with a couple of hooded jackets, so my daughter had her own winter coat to wear. She was planning on breaking Spewie out and getting the driveway done while I was gone. In the end, she wasn’t able to get very much cleared before she had to go back inside. Thankfully, with my brother coming out tomorrow, he should be able to get the rest cleared out.
The drive to my mother’s was touch and go. Visibility was good, for the most past (unlike other highways in the area), but there was a lot of packed snow and ice, making for some slow driving at times. I got to my mother’s place, checked on things, packed a bag for her, and was soon on my way again. I normally would have cut across from her town to a different highway to get to the hospital she’s at, but all the reports I was seeing what that route was far worse.
I still got there faster than my brother and SIL!
My mother was in bed when I got there, but sat up while we talked about what I brought. She was in need of a Voltaren rub on her back, which took some doing to accomplish. She then moved to a chair. The whole time, she was clearly in a lot of pain from her hip and back.
By the time my brother and SIL arrived, though, she had perked up quite a bit and was clearly happy for the company. After a while, I went to the nursing station to see what we could find out about how things were going, and the nurse caring for my mother that shift came to her room to update us.
They are restarting her on the IV Lasik to get the swelling down. That will be continued for another week. She talked about draining the fluids away from my mother’s heart. When I asked, she said the edema was due to congestive heart failure.
There’s a problem with that.
My mother doesn’t have congestive heart failure. It turns out they just assumed she did. Confirming it would require transporting her to the same hospital she recently had her MRI done, for a CT scan. We told the nurse, my mother’s heart has been checked out quite a few times (because she kept thinking she was having hear attacks that turned out to be acid reflux and heartburn), and her heart is incredibly healthy. Healthier than most people a quarter her age.
Meanwhile, all her vitals are right where they should be.
I had mentioned to the nurse yesterday that my mother can be her own worst enemy. She complains about the minor stuff, while making like of the major stuff. Even the minor stuff, she makes things worse for herself. She – once again – brought up the dry mouth issue. When the spray was suggested, she immediately said, oh, I just drink some water and it’s fine. So… why is she complaining? When the dry mouth spray was suggested, she tried turning it down. She’s on so many medications, you know. Once we figure what she was thinking, we told her, it’s not a medication. It’s just for her mouth to fee less dry. Once the nurse realized what the mix up was, she did offer to bring her a bottle of the dry mouth spray. Which is what she has at home, brought back from the last time she was in the hospital but refuses to use. She keeps bringing up the dry mouth, wants the doctor to somehow stop it from happening, but won’t actually do the things that will make it better.
Meanwhile, she tried to make light of the reason she was in the hospital. Like it was not an actual problem, compared to her dry mouth.
With days as short as they are, and the road conditions an issue, we didn’t stay too long. After saying our goodbyes to my mother, I was able to go to the pharmacy and drop off that signed paper they needed from my husband, then meet my brother and SIL at a nearby restaurant to catch up. We’re all quite concerned that when they reassess my mother a week from now, they’ll try discharging her to her home. That is simply not acceptable. She cannot live independently anymore. She could barely get out of bed and walk 4 steps today! According to my mother, she hasn’t even been seen by a doctor yet. Just an assistant.
It’s all so frustrating.
Still, we had a good time together and soon parted ways. I did make a point of stopping to pick up some take out for the whole family, then filling the gas tank, before heading home. By then, it was past sunset and the light was failing fast. I’d messaged ahead that I was on the way home, and my daughter met me to close the gate and help me bring things in – including a care package from my brother and SIL. They are so sweet!
So that’s where we stand now. Still up in the air about my mother.
With the road conditions as they are, I’ve been keeping an eye on the forecasts. I thought that maybe we could delay the city trip until Monday.
We’re getting more snow on Monday.
*sigh*
So, tomorrow it is.
I’m dreading going, but my daughter is coming along, and she is quite the sanity saver for me! I hate shopping at the best of times. Shopping this close to Christmas, in the city, is something I really try to avoid. We’ll be stocking up as much as we can, so that we can delay our second January stock up shop until after New Year’s, if possible!
If all goes well, I’ll find a new winter coat, too.
Oh, and we’ll be looking at bariatric office chairs. My husband’s chair suddenly – and loudly – reclined backwards and couldn’t straighten up again. After moving it around, we spotted the snapped bolt on the floor. It’s an old chair and was getting in pretty bad shape. We’d even replaced all the wheels on it – which will be salvaged, as they are really good wheels! Hopefully, there are some sales we can take advantage of. We shall see.
The Re-Farmer 