It’s a good thing WordPress remembers for me, because I forgot completely.
Eight years ago today, we started this blog.
Image created by Grok
I say “we” because, originally, my husband and I were both supposed to be writing posts here. Which my husband did try to do, when he and my younger daughter found themselves coming out here earlier than expected, when his father was suddenly hospitalized. Since then, his condition has deteriorated and, with all the meds he’s on, he just doesn’t have the motivation, nor ability to focus, on keeping it up.
Things sure have changed a lot in 8 years! Our original goals have shifted, out of necessity. Meanwhile, our physical challenges have increased. At this point, at age 57 and now officially designated as disabled, I am actually the most able bodied person in the household!
Image courtesy of Aria AI
While my original reasons for needing to remain anonymous have changed, it just went from having to keep some crazies we left behind in the city we used to live in from knowing where we were and what’s going on, to having another crazy we have to be concerned about.
My goal for this blog hasn’t changed, though. I wanted this to be a place to basically document what we are doing here at the farm I grew up on, the good the bad and the ugly, in hopes that others can learn from our mistakes and be at least somewhat inspired. If a short, fat, broken, middle aged woman with a disabled husband can do this, most other people should be able to do much more, and much better!
For those long timers who have been following this blog for years, thank you for your loyalty. I do hope you gained at least a little something from my ruminations, foibles and current gardening obsession. As for the more recent followers, welcome! Glad to have you on board!
While looking at my stats before I started this post, I noticed a huge spike in traffic today. Most of the viewers of this little blog from central Canada have been from the US, and that has been true from the start. Second place had been Canadian viewers, but that spot has now been taken over by the UK, putting Canadians in third place. I’m curious how Chili and Australia show up as tied for fourth highest country of origin views, followed by a tie with Denmark and Germany.
I would love to know how people have been finding this blog, since I do zero promotion of it. Do feel free to leave a comment and let me know!
While doing my morning rounds, three kittens were playing on the hand rail in front of the sun room – but did not what me anywhere near them! They know that rose bush will protect them. 😄
The third image of the garage kittens was from this evening. I went to tie off the catio door for the night, so it won’t blow around. I didn’t even seen them in the cat bed at first! I wasn’t able to get closer, though. I was able to pet them both when I fed them this morning, while they were eating, but that smokey one will not let me touch her, any other time.
Yet.
The littles are all over the place in and around the sun room, and I was able to get a couple of decent shots. That white and black kitten in the last two images has such surprisingly blue eyes!
Sadly, though, we lost another kitten last night. Once again, I found it in the new cat cave in the sun room, like the last one. About the only thing I can say is, at least they passed away in the warmth of a cuddle puddle, and not cold and alone.
Once the morning routing was done, I had time for a quick breakfast before heading out early to my appointment. I wasn’t sure how long things would be, so I made sure to go to the post office before it closed from 11:30am to 2pm. They close for the day at 5pm.
Then, just to be on the safe side, I made sure the packages of seeds were put into an insulated bag, in case the cab of the truck got too hot. I’m glad I did, because yes, it certainly did!
I got to the shopping commons the clinic is at early enough to grab a proper meal for lunch. I’m glad I did because I ended up getting into my 1:30 appointment about 45 minutes late.
The first thing the doctor did was ask how the new prescription was working out. I told what a huge difference it made, and that I’ve hardly had to take any painkillers since I started taking it. She was really happy to hear how well it went. Especially when I told her I have only been taking it once a day, before bed. She commented that I’m already on a low dose (I can take it up to three times a day), so it was really amazing that it’s made such a difference. She commented on how this particular anti-inflammatory is really good, and she thinks it should be prescribed more often. I did mention the one time I took with with just a snack rather than a meal and how that really did a number on my stomach. She was just nodding her head and saying, yup… it does need to be taken with a full meal, because it can be so hard on the stomach, otherwise, and mused that that’s perhaps why it isn’t use more often. All I can say it, it has helped me so much, I’m willing to make the effort to take it properly so that doesn’t happen!
I then told her about my hip issues and asked for X-rays to find out what’s going on. She looked in my file and it’s been more than 5 years since my hips have been X-rayed, so it was time. We already know that I have OA and bone spurs, but something is going on with that left hip that’s making it worse. She wrote me up for a complete pelvic X-ray, so both hips would be checked out.
Then we got to why I was there in the first place. My arm.
I was able to read the report on her monitor with her. They found no anomalies in my shoulder or elbow. Which surprised me, because they do still hurt at times. Especially the shoulder. Which suggests to me that the issue is now soft tissue damage – though the anti-inflammatories are helping with the arm pain, too!
Then there was the hand/wrist. There was a potential anomaly, so they recommended to get it X-rayed again in 1-2 weeks. We were already past that, so she printed out another requisition to get my wrist done again, along with my hips.
As for the follow up, normally they would call me to book a follow up appointment, but I mentioned that my daughter already has an appointment coming up on the 9th, so she said to go ahead and book my follow up then. Which I took care of while picking up my printouts.
Next stop was the hospital, where the lab and X-ray is. Once I gave them the forms, I had time to message the family with an update, and was soon called in for the X-rays. The tech took X-rays of my hand in some very different positions from the last time it was done. At this point, all they can do is confirm whether or not something actually broke in there. After all this time since my fall, it’s not like they’re going to put my wrist in a cast or anything.
Once the hand was done, I got the hips done, and that was it. It was very fast.
That done, it was back to the shopping commons where my doctor’s clinic is, this time to make a quick stop at the grocery store. I hadn’t realized we were out of bread until last night. While I was there, I picked up some sandwich meats that were on sale, and a few other little things.
From there, it was a stop at the gas station and the home.
When I was about 10 minutes from home, I could see the highway ahead of me, disappearing in a cloud of white. It turned out to be an absolute wall of rain! It was coming down hard enough, with so much water on the road, I had to slow down and was about ready to pull over and wait it out. It did lift a bit, though, and I was able to continue. By the time I got home, it had blown over – something I was very happy about, since I needed to get out to open the gate. Particularly since, with the inside handle on the driver’s side door broken off, I need to open the window so I can open the door from the outside.
No complaints about the rain, though. We needed it.
Anyhow.
So all went well with the doctor, though I am surprised nothing showed up in the X-rays for my shoulder and elbow. The shoulder injury it still sometimes an issue, and I was expecting some sort of damage to my rotator cuff. My left elbow has been a problem for a long time, since well before my fall, but that is due to nerve damage, so I guess that wouldn’t show up in an X-ray.
In a couple of weeks or so, I will be back to find out what they find in my hips.
That should be… interesting! I hope I get to actually see the X-rays this time, and not just a report. I’m very curious as to what shows up!
Meanwhile, it is now past time for me to have the supper my daughter made – a nice, substantial meal to take my anti-inflammatories with!
First up, my daughter and I left quite early for her appointment, and I’m glad we did!
The outside cats seemed quite confused that they were getting fed while it was still dark out.
While we were not supposed to get more snow in our area, today, we were expected to get high winds, and we sure had that! Since we did get some light snow yesterday and overnight, that meant a lot of blowing snow reducing visibility on top of being buffeted on the highway. I had considered stopping at the gas station at my mother’s town along the way, just to grab some sort of road snack since I hadn’t had breakfast yet, but I skipped that. The clinic we were going to has a grocery store right next to it, and I figured I could wait!
We got there maybe 20 minutes early. I headed to the grocery store while my daughter went to the clinic, only to discover the doors were locked. So we both waited in the truck while I ate my sandwich until we saw the doors open 15 minutes before her appointment. Once she got called in, things went rather quickly. She had another round of bloodwork to do after that appointment, so I went to the truck while she got that done.
Which is when the messages started coming in.
My older daughter was letting me know to call my mother back… then to call home care. She couldn’t quite make much out of the message that had been left, but was eventually able to tell me that home care was still with my mother.
So I called my mother and the health care aid answered.
The first thing she told me was that she had just managed to get through to my sister. Which is good. I’m the first person to call, since I’m the closest. Then my sister, then my brother, who still lives the furthest away. My sister had said she would be coming to see my mother.
My mother was complaining of chest pains (again), shortness of breath (again) and clamminess.
The clamminess was a new one.
The health care aid was offering to call an ambulance, but my mother was refusing.
Her chest pains were most likely the usual heartburn, and the shortness of breath has become a regular complaint. From what I can observe, the previous doctors suggestion that it is conditioning is most likely correct. My mother is 93, had busted up knees and is getting out of shape with age, but she doesn’t know how to slow down. I sometimes have a hard time keeping up with her once she gets going with her walker. Then she gets out of breath and can’t understand why.
The clamminess, though… I don’t know what to make of that.
As we were talking, my sister tried to call. I dismissed that call, finished up with the health care aid, then phoned my sister while the health care aid was going to call home care next.
In talking to my sister, I told her where we were and why. She started saying they hadn’t have breakfast yet, but if I were in the area, maybe I could check on Mom instead.
…
I told her again, why we were where we were (which is NOT “in the area”). We were going to be in this town for most of the day. My sister wasn’t happy to hear that, but said she would go to Mom’s after they had breakfast.
I don’t know how long it was going to be before she was on the road, but by the time I was done with the phone calls, the weather had gotten worse. It would not be a fun drive, though I don’t know of the worsened weather reached as far as where she lives. Her route wouldn’t take her through this town, anyhow, so it’s possible she wouldn’t see the bad weather at all. Other than the high winds. Those never died down at all today. Even now, as I write this, I can see the trees swaying out my window.
That call done, I messaged my brother to keep him in the loop. Then my daughter and I went to get an actual breakfast. Not much was open that early in the morning, so we ended up going to a Tim Hortons.
We had some time between appointments, so I took advantage of it and went to a branch of my bank with some questions I had. The postal strike is causing some issues, and I needed to clear some things up. From there, we went to a Red Apple, where my daughter was able to get some clothing necessities, and I snagged a high density foam mat to keep in the truck. If we need to climb into the truck box with the tailgate open, it’s something we can lay down to protect our knees. Or, if we have a situation like when my brother wanted to lie on the ground to look under the truck, it can be a nicely insulated, clean surface to lie on.
After taking our time there, we then went to a Home Hardware that was kitty corner from the eye clinic. While there, I picked up a new sump pump hose. Not for our sump pump, though, but for our washing machine drain. We’re still running the hose out the front door, and the current one has started to leak.
At some point, we need to use that drain auger on the pipes, but I’m not going to do it until I am sure we can seal it up again without leaking. My brother keeps telling me how easy it is, but I honestly can’t even see how to open the thing. We also don’t have the sealant needed for when it gets closed up again. It’s also in a very awkward space, plus it’s directly above the sump pump reservoir. Just getting the auger close enough to use it is going to be difficult.
I really hate the plumbing in this place. 😄😄
Anyhow.
It was shortly past noon when we finished at the hardware store, so we popped across to the eye clinic and I checked in.
Thankfully, they were not busy.
I first got called in for the eye images, then the puff test. Then the tech checked to see if the field of vision machine was ready. It was, so she was able to take me straight over for that.
The field of vision test takes about five minutes per eye. Once that was done, the data was sent for the eye doctor to look at, and she would call me in when she was done. When I sat down with my daughter in the waiting room, I checked my phone and it had just turned 1pm – a full hour before my appointment!
Then my phone rang. 😄
It was my brother, calling me in between meetings, about Mom. We spoke for a short time, but there really wasn’t anything to say. Our sister had not sent any messages to update us.
It wasn’t too much longer before the eye doctor called me in. After looking at the images and comparing them from the last two, each 6 months apart, there was very little change. She took a direct look as well, and it was decided to not do the eye dilation tests this time. We would do it next time.
I mentioned to her that we were going to try and not book appointments in the winter, due to transportation and road condition concerns. The next appointment would have been in June, but she was okay if we changed it to July or August.
So that’s what I did. For the next appointment, I’m booked in the second half of July. If she wants me to do another “6 month” test, I would book it for March or April, slowly shifting the appointments to spring and fall instead of summer and winter.
Since we didn’t need to do the eye dilation test, I got to drive us home. My daughter’s dizzy spells have improved, but not gone away completely yet, so me driving was better, anyhow.
Since we were in town, we then made a short stop at a grocery store. I won’t be able to do our Costco shop until Friday at the earliest, so there were a few fresh things that we needed to get. We also picked up some road food for the trip home.
By this time, conditions had improved considerably. It was still very windy and the truck was being buffeted, but we also had bright sunshine. There was only one area that got dicey. The windward side in that area was all open fields and so much snow was being blown across, driving into it was like driving into a fog bank! At one point, as I checked my rear view mirror, the car behind me looked like it was driving on a cloud. No sign of the road or ditches at all! Just blowing snow.
Thankfully, the further north we go, the more trees there are to block the blowing snow.
We were both very glad to be home, that’s for sure!
Once everything was brought in, it was getting late enough that I left my daughter to put most of the stuff away while I went to feed the outside cats and top up their warm water before it got dark. I wanted to make sure they all had a chance to finish the food off before night time. It’s the only way we can get the outside cats that are going to be spayed tomorrow to fast.
I need to be on the road by 7am with the cats tomorrow, giving myself extra time for bad road conditions, for the 8am drop off. We’ll still be at our overnight low of -18C/0F at that time, based on the current forecast. It’s supposed to be slightly colder tomorrow, but without the high winds, so that will make a huge difference.
After the cats get dropped off at the vet, I’ll be hanging around the area until they call me to pick them up. So I will be gone all morning, at the very least. Last time, I was able to nap in the truck, but it’ll probably be too cold to do that, this time!
Oh, I just got word from my sister. By the time she got to my mother’s, she was feeling fine. No longer clammy. There’s a cold going through her building that she might be catching, so she got my mother some vitamin D, echinacea and immunity boosting tea.
Hopefully, that will do it.
I still plan to phone my mother, right after I finish posting this!
Then we need to get some carriers ready for the cats tomorrow. We won’t have any problem getting Kohl, as she’s become nice and social. The adult females may be another story. If we can’t get them, we should at least be able to snag Magda, who is also very social, but it would be much better if we could manage to get one of the adults! I’m not even sure Magda is 2 pounds yet, but she should be close.
We shall see.
Once the carriers are prepped, it’s going to be an early bedtime for me!
This was taken in the late afternoon. This morning, they did get the food I used the slow cooker to make for them overnight. They dug right in!
Unlike the inside cats. They turned their noses up and their cooked food! Even when the girls gave them some of the canned cat food we still had, putting it right on top of the food cooked for them, they ate around the cooked food, but left the canned cat food that was on top of their cooked meal.
So I gave the rest of it to the outside cats, after feeding them with kibble, and they dove right into that, too!
Our inside cats have gotten fussy!
Yes, I was able to get cat food today – and we even have a vehicle now!
More on that later.
But I am getting way ahead of myself!
Last night, I got a call from my mother. She started talking about her appointment on Thursday – tomorrow.
I had completely forgotten about it! I was supposed to drive her to the city for to get her wet macular degeneration treatment.
We no longer had transportation.
My sister is next closest, but they are out of province right now and won’t be back until Friday.
Which leaves my brother, but he would be working.
Meanwhile, my mother started to say, oh, I don’t know if I should go… with my health like it is…
Yes. She was seriously considering stopping treatment that will save the vision in her eye and possibly improve it.
She even mentioned, she noticed a slight improvement. Which is amazing, after only one treatment!
I told her, we’ll find a way to get her there. Even as we were talking, I was sending a message to my brother and SIL, but while I could see that neither of them were seeing it yet.
So I told her I would call her back as soon as I knew anything. I had no idea when that would be.
With everything going on, though, I was burning out, so I tried to go to bed early.
Of course, that didn’t work.
Which was for the better, I guess, because after a few hours, I got responses.
Long story short…
They are lending us a car!
My SIL would drive out in time to get here for when the tow truck was scheduled to arrive. I would drive her back to their place, then take the car home.
That’s a LOT of driving, but there really wasn’t any other way to do it.
Have I mentioned my brother and his wife are amazing?
After that assurance, I could finally fall asleep!
This morning, my routine of softening kibble for the outside cats with hot water got switched up to transferring their food out of the slow cooker and giving it time to cool down before heading out. It was still a bit on the hot side, but they seemed to be just fine with that!
After feeding the outside cats this morning and doing my rounds, I made sure to open the gate – we were now expecting the tow truck, the prescription delivery, and my SIL to arrive – my younger daughter and I unloaded the aluminum off the back of the truck, then covered the sorted bags with the tarp.
It’s already blowing off, even though we tied it down!
After the back was clear, I took the time to put all the straps and bungee cords – the ones we used, and the extras in the truck – into the back-of-the-seat organizers we got. That set up is going to work out quite well!
Then, while I was at it, I moved our roadside emergency kit out to put in the car later, did some general clean up and even remembered to take out the disabled parking placard and the card we need to show the attendant when we go to the dump.
Not that we’ll be making a dump run in a loaned car! Not if I can help it. But we won’t have the truck for probably a week, so I figured it would be good to have, just in case.
The truck was booked to be picked up at 11am, so my SIL was shooting to arrive at our place at about that time.
It was past 11 when I got a call from the CAA Dispatcher, asking about our location, since our physical address don’t exist on any maps.
After giving country directions for the driver’s notes, we knew it might still be a while, but the truck was ready and there was no need for any of us to be around when the tow truck arrived.
My SIL hadn’t arrived yet, either, so I sent them a quick message, then popped into the sun room to tie off the outside door and keep the wind out – when I noticed there was a car parked near the truck! My sister had already arrived!
I quickly finished, grabbed what I needed and headed out – just in time to hear my phone ding, with her response to my earlier message! 😄
We were soon on the road back to their place when I realized, I hadn’t called my mother yet. My SIL offered to stop at my mother’s so I could tell her in person, which I gratefully accepted.
When we got there, I dashed in – only to find her walker was not by her door. I still knocked, even as I was looking around to see if she was in the hall. Then I went around the building, in case she was sitting outside.
Nothing.
So we went driving to the various places she might have walked to. Even the pharmacy, which is the furthest away. No sign of her, and none of the staff that know her had seen her.
We finally went back to my mother’s place, in case she came back while we were gone.
Still not walker outside her door.
I do have a spare key, though, so I figured I could let myself in and leave a note. I get my keys out and am ready to unlock it but, out of habit, I knocked first…
… and hear my mother’s voice responding from inside!
Her door was unlocked, so I let myself in.
She was at her dining table, her finished Meals on Wheels meal in front of her…
… and her walker sitting beside her.
!!
It was such a relief to find her!
I quickly told her about getting loaned a car (and messages my SIL that my mother had been home this whole time!), and that I’d be driving her to her appointment tomorrow. I even told her, my SIL was in the car waiting for me, so I couldn’t stay long. We worked out what time I could be coming over tomorrow and what time we needed to be on the road. Then she started asking me, why was I in a hurry?
I reminded her, my SIL was waiting for me in the car.
Well, why doesn’t she come in to say hi?
Because we can’t stay long. We have to drive to their place, then I have to drive the car home…
I wasn’t going to even bother saying more than that. The reality is, after decades of verbal abuse from my mother, my SIL finally said, no more. My mother has outside said that, just because she is married to my brother, she isn’t family. My SIL has never been anything but kind to my mother – probably more than any of us, to be honest – and even now, still says many positive things about my mother, but she will no longer allow herself to be abused. If my mother says she is not part of the family, then she will stay away.
My mother has zero understanding that her behaviour hurts people so much, and drives them away from her. The kinder people are to her, the more abusive she is towards them.
Except that’s changing with me. I have been putting my food down, hard, on her behaviour without reciprocating and – amazingly – she has stopped a lot of what she had been doing since we moved out here. At her request.
Tomorrow’s timing arranged, my SIL and I were back on the road.
At this point, I may as well say it. This blog is anonymous in real life, too; my family and neighbours know nothing about it.
My brother has been moving things over to here in preparation for retirement. Part of that was looking at selling their acreage. They hadn’t put it up for sale, but serendipity stepped in, and they found a buyer. The possession date is Nov. 1, so they have to get everything they’re not selling or otherwise getting rid of, here to the farm. Meanwhile, they are moving into a townhouse near the city, and today, I got to see it for the first time!
I think they are going to be really happy there – and happy not having the property to be concerned with. Especially since they are stuck with this farm that they can’t sell. Something else my mother doesn’t understand. This property has been a burden they took from her, but in her mind, she “gave” my brother “everything”. So now they will no longer have two acreages to pay takes, insurance and upkeep for!
After a tour of their new home and a brief visit, I got to drive their car home.
I have never in my life, driven anything so luxurious! What a dream it is to drive! It’s not even a new car (just newer than our truck) or high end. It’s just a basic vehicle, but – oh, my goodness, it is gorgeous!
They are also slightly closer now, and the Walmart I was planning to go to was on my way home.
I was able to get four bags of kibble and a 32 pack of canned cat food. The Cat Lady also ordered us a donation of kibble on Amazon, which is supposed to arrive on the 29th, and we will actually be able to pick it up now.
Of course, I also got a bit of groceries for us – almost all of this, courtesy of my older daughter. She says she will help pay for repairs on the truck, too, though it will take some time to transfer from PayPal, which is how her clients pay for their commissions from her.
I hope we never again get to a point where we run out of kibble like we did today! We will especially need to stock up over the winter. With no back up vehicle anymore, if things go wrong again, or we get snowed in again, etc., we are hooped.
Which would be a good time to bring up… if anyone is in a position to help, we do have a donation button! 100% of donations go towards care of the cats, whether it’s food, spays and neuters or other vet car. Today, we spent more on food for the cats than for ourselves again, and we’ll have to watch to make sure it lasts until CPP Disability comes in – we will hopefully be picking up our repaired truck by then.
Oh! I just got a message from my daughter. She has caulked up the tub surround. Twelve hours before it can be exposed to water. Twenty-four before it can be touched.
Yeah, we still can’t use our tub and shower. Aside from assisting now and then, I have left this job entirely to my daughters!
But I digress, once again…
After doing the shopping, I headed to the town nearest us to get gas. My SIL had stared off with a full tank, but with all the driving, it was down to half already. When I got to the station, I asked the attendant to put in $30, hoping that would make a dent in it, and went inside.
After I was done and heading home, I realized that $30 had filled the tank!
I’m so used to the truck. At current prices – $1.299 right now – that would have been barely a quarter tank. I forget how much bigger the truck’s tank is than a car’s!
It felt really good to be driving with a full tank!
Once at home, I drove up to the house to unload, then made sure to feed the outside cats so I could safely move the car.
Oh, the happy, happy kitties! They were quite hungry!
After parking the car in the garage, I just had to giggle over how much room there is! With the truck, I have to squeeze as close as I can to the counter at the far wall, just to be able to close the door.
That done, I headed inside and started getting ready to feed the inside cats. That included taking their trays of the food they got this morning that they wouldn’t eat – it even still had remains of canned cat food on it! – and giving it to the outside cats.
The outside cats had already polished off all the food I’d given them earlier, and eagerly dove into the food the inside cats turned their nosed up at!
The inside cats, meanwhile, were happy to get their kibble.
The snobs. 😄
So things are looking up again, thanks to my awesome, awesome brother and his wife. With them being in the middle of moving, being down a vehicle will be an inconvenience for them, so I appreciate this beyond words. They are just the best!!
Tomorrow is going to be another long day of driving – and another day of not being able to get anything done in the garden. The goal had been to have several beds cleaned up and prepared for winter sowing by now. We’ve got just one warm day between now and November – and the long range forecast now shows snow within the first 10 days of the month! Granted, when these seeds are planted, we do NOT want them to germinate, but we don’t want them to freeze, either.
Well, what happens, happens. We’ll work with what we get.
The Re-Farmer 