Month: March 2025

A quick update

/ Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

My brain is feeling fried, so not much to say this time.

While heading to my mother’s for the meeting with home care, I noticed the trip meter on the truck was already at almost 450km. It’s only March 4, and I reset it when I filled the tank at Costco on Feb. 28. Just over 100km of that was the trip home. The rest was the first three days of March.

If I keep getting so many calls to cover med assists like in the past couple of weeks, this is going to be a very expensive month on gas!

I got to my mother’s early, in case she needed help with getting dressed or anything like that. She was already dressed and ready. She and I are alike in one thing: if we have some sort of appointment, we can’t sleep the night before.

Yeah, I’m didn’t get much sleep last night, either.

We got to talking and my mother quickly launched into an attack on my brother. She started accusing him of keeping secrets from her again, and said a few strange things. One was how he “brags” about his technology (he doesn’t brag. Even the slightest attempt to talk about his work is so far beyond her ability to understand, he avoids talking about his job at all). Then she said, she doesn’t want his technology, but his kindness.

No one has been kinder to my mother than him. No one has done more for her than him. He has covered her butt for decades. But because he doesn’t tell her all his personal stuff, and doesn’t always agree with her, doesn’t allow her to treat him like her personal slave, that means he’s not kind to her – then she suddenly started saying that it’s his wife that controls everything. !!!!

There was one thing she said that actually confirmed something we’ve suspected for some time now. A matter of phrasing, really.

She is getting my brother mixed up with my dad.

He looks more and more like my dad as he gets older. My mother and my dad were always butting heads. A very dysfunctional relationship. We’ve noted that she’s treating my brother like she used to treat my dad. Today, she actually started talking about him as if he was my dad.

Then there was a knock at the door, and the case coordinator arrived.

We talked for while about all sorts of things. They’ve not been able to find exactly what happened with the morning no-shows. The best they could come up with is that there was confusion and lack of communication because a previous shift scheduler has been away for the past month, and there is come chaos with the people filling in for her.

I tested my mother’s BP so she could see how my mother has to move around when just shifting from chair to chair, so I could access her left arm. My mother and I had already decided that, at the end of the meeting, I would take her to do her blood work, so the case coordinator could observe how my mother gets into the truck, and moves around in general.

In the end, it looks like my mother will start getting some meal assists – all they can do is things like make her a sandwich, or reheat leftovers. My mother was indeed already scheduled for longer time in the mornings, for assistance in dressing and emptying her commode, but it hasn’t been happening, so that will be looked into. I don’t think my mother is in “bad” enough condition for her to actually get considered more urgently to get her into supportive living or long term care. Which is so very frustrating.

After the meeting was done, I got my mother to the lab in the local hospital with no doctors, just a few blocks from my mother’s place, for her blood work. Only one vial was needed, and no one else was there to get done, so it was really fast. Just that outing wore her out, though, and she was glad to be home. It was just coming up on lunch time, so I got some food together for her before I left.

And that was pretty much it. I had actually intended to go for a nap, I’m so tired, but after I had my own lunch, it just didn’t make sense to try and nap, or I’d screw up my own night. So I’m basically just dragging my butt through the day until it’s a reasonable hour to go to bed.

I need sleeeeeeepppp.

Thankfully, I don’t have any appointments tomorrow, so I should be able to have a recovery day. Unless I get another call from home care to cover my mother’s meds again! Then I have the appointment at the garage for the truck to do a whole bunch of relatively small things before they become big things, along with replacing the oil sensor. Which means a few hours in town, while it’s being worked on. I should have several parcels to pick up by then. Two are already in and waiting. One is something I finally broke down and ordered; a clear acrylic guard for my keyboard, to keep the cats from walking on it and digging under it! Ghosty in particular is truly dedicated to waiting until I’m in bed, then digging under my keyboard. She’s even knocked it right off my computer table at times! That and many is the time I’ve gone back to my computer and discovered all sorts of strange things have been opened, some of which I have no idea which keys got stepped on to find!

Anyhow.

Time to move on to things that don’t require much thought processing. Like laundry!

The Re-Farmer

Our 2025 Garden: Vesey’s order for the food forest

/ Re-Farmer / 7 Comments

Okay, after going through their website more, I made some decisions and placed an order at Vesey’s. It was mostly for our future food forest, but I did order a couple of seed packets so I could take advantage of a promo code for free shipping.

As I was preparing to write this post, however, I got a phone call.

From home care.

Guess who has to go to my mother’s again this evening, to do her med assist?

Two nights in a row. Apparently, someone just called in sick.

My mom is going to be furious.

*sigh*

I will just have to deal with that, later.

Meanwhile, here is what I ordered today. (Links will open in new tabs)

These were the one thing we absolutely wanted to get this year. The Opal Plum tree. The description from the website:

Prunus spp. Opal stands alone as the hardiest European type Plum available on the market. It is vigorous, productive and self-fertile. Even in short summer seasons, the fruit will reliably ripen. The plums are round, red-purple with a golden flesh and have a complex and sweet flavour, fresh or dried. Hardy to zone 3. We ship 18″ trees

The key points were that it is self fertile, so we don’t have to plant it next to our dying wild-type plums, but can plant it in the section we’ve designated for a food forest. It’s hardy to our zone, so we don’t have to do like we did with our zone 4 Liberty apple, and tuck it into a sheltered area. (Hopefully, it survived the polar vortexes we got this winter!)

I decided to also order some more haskaps. We already have three, but they have not been doing well at all. While I should probably transplant them, I’ve decided to get a couple more that will be planted in the food forest area, this time.

This first one is the Aurora Pollinator variety.

The second is Boreal Blizzard, an early producing and largest fruit variety.

We currently have “Mr” and “Mrs” haskap varieties, where are sold as cross-pollinating varieties. The “Mr” is an Aurora, and seems to bloom too early to pollinate the “Mrs.” variety, so I am hoping that the early Boreal Blizzard variety will work out better.

If these haskap do well, that will confirm that the ones we have now are not producing because they are in a bad location. Which I am 99% sure of, but it really is a good location – for us!

To use the free shipping promo code, I needed to have at least one packet of seeds.

I had been looking at these last night, while planning my order, but they were listed as sold out. This morning, they were back in stock! So I snagged them.

This is the Sweetie Snack Mix of small sized peppers. They have a short growing season, too, so they should work out. I think my family might like them better than the larger bell peppers we’ve been trying so far.

Last of all, I got some flowers for the girls. 😄 The Jet Black Hollyhock. These are pollinator attracting biannuals and should be self seeding, so we will plan out where to sow them with that in mind!

There we have it. Another order in for our 2025 garden, and our food forest.

The grand total for this, after tax, came to $137.08, however we will only be billed for the seeds when they get shipped in the next day or two. The sapling and haskap plugs will be shipped closer to our last frost date of June 2, and we will be billed for those, then.

The flower seeds were not that expensive, but that packet of mini peppers cost $8.75, with only about 20 seeds in the pack. That’s almost 44¢ per seed!

Still cheaper than buying them at the grocery store, but what a huge leap in prices for vegetable seeds! During the illegal lockdowns, with people panic buying and prices going up and up and up, so many people decided to try growing their own food, a lot of seed suppliers were completely sold out. They are still recovering from that. I know some smaller Canadian seed growers had to back out of the consumer market completely and only sell commercially in bulk. Add to this, in the years since, more people are trying to grow their own food because the grocery prices have gotten so high. That increased demand puts a major stress on supplies, too. Which is why I’m seeing the cost of vegetable seeds skyrocketing, while the number of seeds in the packets are going down, but not with flower seeds. I haven’t been looking at herb seeds lately, so I don’t know how they are doing for pricing.

With this order in, the next thing we’ll need to decide on is what variety of potatoes we want to grow and where. Anything beyond that is just gravy.

Or back ups if the winter sowing fails!

The Re-Farmer

Our 2025 Garden – yup, I ordered seeds

/ Re-Farmer / 5 Comments

Okay, I wasn’t really planning to buy more seeds this year. Not exactly.

With our winter sown beds, which are detailed in the video below, we actually have a lot already planted for this year’s garden…


… that’s IF they survived the winter.

If they didn’t, then we’re not going to have a whole heckuva lot at all, because I finished off seed packets in doing this method.

There are a few things that I am thinking to start indoors – especially now that we have the portable greenhouse – but other things I will likely buy as transplants in the spring. Decisions will be made in the spring for that.

In the end, though, I broke down and made an order with MI Gardener. I’ve been looking at Canadian seed sources but, in the end, it came down to price. I’ve been really shocked by how expensive some seeds have gotten, even with very low seed counts in the packages, at a number of the sites I’ve bought from in the past. Plus, some of the things that interested me were either sold out or no longer available.

I didn’t even make a large order. Just a few things, some of which I probably won’t even plant this year.

The first item in the list is red noodle beans. We tried growing these a few years back and ended up having a drought and heat waves that year. They grew, but I only found a single pod when I was cleaning up for the end of the season, and it was the saddest, skinniest little thing! Along with the bush beans I have winter sown, I want a pole bean and a shelling bean. We have plenty of bean seeds, but no red noodle beans, and I’d really like to try those out.

Next is Winter Giant Spinach. I winter sowed all our spinach seeds so, if they don’t take, this will be our fallback planting.

Next is Turkish Orange Eggplant. We grew Classic and Little Finger eggplant last year. This year, I want to try a different variety. I’m not sure we’ll grow them this year – we’ll see if the order comes in early enough to start them indoors – but it will be an option. If nothing else, we can try the portable greenhouse to extend the season.

I got a package of sugar beet, but don’t expect to plant them this year. I want to actually try and make sugar with them, so this is going to be one of those “fun” things I like to include in my garden every year.

We have more than one variety of carrots winter sown. We still have more Uzbek Golden carrot seeds, if the winter sown ones don’t take, but it would be nice to have another variety as a back up seed.

We did the Summer of Melons mix last year. This year, we still want to grow at least one variety of melon. My younger daughter prefers honeydew types over cantaloupe types, and this Green Flesh Honeydew variety seems to have a short enough growing season to make it worth trying. We have other melon and watermelon seeds already on hand we can try this year, but we will definitely be scaling back from the number we grew last year!

Next are some basic sugar snap peas. I have shelling peas already, and want to have both types.

Last of all…

Yup.

I’m going to keep trying!

I ordered some luffa seeds.

If they come in early enough, I might try them this year. I’m not completely decided on where we will set up the portable greenhouse but, once we do, I will try growing the luffa there in pots, rather than transplanting them into a garden bed.

That’s it, that’s all. A whole 8 items.

All of these together came to a grand total of US$23.50, including shipping. Granted, with our Canadian dollar tanking so much right now, it will probably be closer to Cdn$50, but that would still be less than if I’d try to order these, or similar varieties, anywhere else.

[update: the order was processed, and it came out to Cdn$34.82]

The other things we will need to order or buy for this year’s garden will be things like potatoes and fruit trees. They wouldn’t be shipped until closer to our local last frost date of June 2, so we have time. We just have to settle on what we will be getting this year, first.

I have never ordered from MI Gardener before, but have heard nothing but excellent things about them, so I look forward to getting and trying out these seeds this year!

The Re-Farmer

Good, yet not good

/ Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

Well, I’m back from going to my mom’s for her med assist. I’m glad I went, in one sense, and wishing I hadn’t had to in another.

It wasn’t just my mother.

After I’d called my mom to let her know I’d be coming over to do her evening med assist, I had time to get a few things done. It was absolutely gorgeous out today, with temperatures just above freezing. I fed the outside cats early and took the time to check on the flexible hose on the emergency septic diverter. The black plastic had warmed up enough that I was able to get quite a bit of the thawing ice chunks out. It wasn’t in any danger of getting blocked by ice, but I still wanted to get as much out as I could.

While I was outside, my mother called back and left a message, asking if I could pick up some milk and croissants along the way. Since my sister introduced her to croissants, not that long ago, it has become her favorite thing to have with tea!

Which just meant leaving a little bit earlier.

The first problem was actually at home. We’re all pretty unhappy about how often homecare hasn’t been able to do my mother’s med assist, just in the short time since she got out of the hospital. My siblings have expressed their dissatisfaction, but they have also expressed their gratitude that I’ve been able to take care of it. It would be a lot more difficult for them to do it! My husband, however… well, along with his physical disability, he also has military related PTSD. With him, it was more anger, and he started taking his frustrations out on me. Which I don’t put up with.

We are not a couple that has arguments, as others do. We don’t raise our voices at each other, or anything like that. But when we disagree on things, and my husband recognizes that he is starting to get a PTSD rage response, he has medications and coping techniques to deal with them, which is what he resorted to.

I’ll just leave it at that.

When I headed out, my first stop was at the grocery store to get the stuff for my mother and, since I was there, to pick up more of the deli meats for ourselves that this store has at better prices than anywhere else I’ve seen. Then I went to the gas station to top up the truck and pick up my mother’s favorite fried chicken and wedges. I wasn’t sure if my mother would have had her supper yet, but I wanted to make sure she had something available so she wasn’t taking her meds on an empty stomach.

I’m glad I did. It looks like she was just going to heat up a can of cream of mushroom soup for her supper, and was out of milk to make it with.

After putting away her things, we sat down for our supper.

My mother was just looking for things to rage at today.

The first was about my having to drive soooooo far, just to give her her pills. The doctor wouldn’t want that! I told her, the doctor doesn’t care. He just cares that she gets her medications. Then she raged that she should can take her medications herself. I side tracked that. She started saying that home care should just come once a day, and leave her medications for the rest of the day ready for her. I told her, they can’t do that. They have very strict regulations they have to follow these days. They can’t even take pills out of the bottles, but only out of bubble packs.

Oh, you’re always taking their side, she says.

Then it came up about my brother visiting her yesterday, after having gone to the farm, first. I mentioned I had been out and missed them entirely, and that he’d just gone to tend to their truck, as a way of saying he was at the farm for a very short time.

Which my mother latched onto. She’d forgotten that they’d sold their property and everything was at the farm now. We weren’t talking about it, because if she remembered, she would end up telling our vandal about it, and that’s the last thing we need.

Well, I won’t get into how it went with that, but she went into another rage against my brother and started to literally invent scenarios in her head about how he was “keeping secrets” from her, among other far less pleasant things. It took some doing to calm her down and distract her.

All before we even finished eating our meal.

Once we were done eating and got her table clear, I got her supper meds out for her to take, while I made notes for the next home care person to see, then prepared her before bed medications and puffer, before putting everything else back into the lock box. Then I got her blood pressure machine, which she had hidden away in a closet, and tested her.

After that, I started changing her garbage and doing some clean up, when she asked me to do her water bottles. She fills various bottles of water she uses for drinking and cooking from a tap in the laundry room that has softened water, and they were all empty. So I took care of that, then washed her dishes, before getting ready to head home.

As I was getting my jacket on, I reminded her again to take her last meds between 8 and 9pm, when she told me she’d already taken her puffer.

…

What? When???

It turns out that, while I was filling her water bottles, she decided to take her inhaler dose.

This is not the first time she tried to do this with me. During one of the past evenings I’d gotten her evening meds ready, she suddenly decided she should take her puffer dose right way. I stopped her and said to take it with her before-bed medications. This is supposed to help her with her breathing at night (I don’t think it’s actually making a difference, but it’s a trial). It’s not going to help her much if she takes it too early.

When I found out she’d taken it, I told her all the same things again. She seemed surprised by it. I have no idea why she gets it in her head to take it so early. She takes a puff twice a day. With her morning meds then, about 12 hours later, with her before bed meds.

Thankfully, doing this won’t harm her, but if she can’t be relied on to wait 3 hours before taking her before bed medication, I may have to stop getting them ready for her on nights like tonight, when home care is short staffed for both evening med assists. I will have to go home, then come back 3 or 4 hours later.

She’s already losing it over the fact that I’m coming at all. If I start having to come in twice in one evening, I don’t know how she would handle it. She certainly would think that her own actions have anything to do with it, but it does add another layer of concern.

Thankfully, we’ve got a meeting with the home care case coordinator in a couple of days. I should give her a call tomorrow, just to let her know about my mother’s behaviour, as it’s not something I could tell her about, with my mother there. As concerning as it is, perhaps this is one more thing that will get my mother into long term care, as she has been wanting for months now.

I didn’t stay too much longer after that. Thankfully, the days are longer now, so it was still light out during the drive home, and I could actually see the deer, well in advance!

Once home, my priority was to update my siblings – and apologize to my brother and his wife. My simple comment about him coming out to the farm and why set her off, and now she’s going to be even worse towards him because of it. My mother keeps saying how she loves all us siblings equally, but her actions belie her words. The twisted hatred she has developed towards my brother has been getting so much worse. It bothered me less when it was directed at me, the first couple of years we were living here, than it does now that it’s directed at my brother. No one has done more to help her and take care of things for her than he has, for so many years. He deserves so much better than this!

*sigh*

So, on the one hand, I’m really glad I ended up going to my mother’s, today, as she ended up needing help with other things as well.

On the other hand…

*sigh*

It is what it is, and there is little we can do about it but, my goodness, it shouldn’t be this way!

The Re-Farmer

Well, so much for that…

/ Re-Farmer / 4 Comments

Today was supposed to be a home day. And it mostly was.

Then I got a phone call.

From home care.

They don’t have anyone do to my mother’s med assist for her two evening visits.

Which means I am going to soon be on my way to take care of that.

My mother came home from the hospital on Feb. 10. Today will be the 20th day since she’s been home and her meds set up with the lock box. In those 20 days, this evening will be the 4th time I’ve had to do a med assist due to short staffing. Technically, 7 times, since she has two evening visits, and I’ve had to prepare her before-bed pills, too. Plus, she has had two morning no-shows, where someone was scheduled to show up, didn’t, and they don’t know why.

It’s a good thing we’ve got a meeting already set up in a couple of days. I had no problem being the one for them to call if they are short staffed, but that was supposed to be a fairly rare occasion.

This is ridiculous.

The Re-Farmer

One more day

/ Re-Farmer / Leave a comment

One more day of stocking up type shopping. Nothing like that least two trips, though, so I didn’t bother getting any photos.

I did get a photo of this handsome fellow.

Last night, we got more of the bitter temperatures we were supposed to be past by now. When I looked during the night, we had hit our predicted low of -25C/-13F, with a wind chill of -33C/-27F Today, however, we reached -9C/16F – at least, that’s what the display on my truck showed me. Inside the sun room was at least 10C/50F. You’d think the cats would be hanging out in that, but they were running around outside in the sunshine. I guess with that winter fur, it might actually have been too warm for them in the sun room!

Oh, and Happy First Meteorological day of spring! 😄

Today, we had one shopping stop planned, but made extra ones, too.

The first unplanned stop was to a Dollarama sharing a parking lot with the Walmart in the nearer city. I’m still checking to see what garden supplies they’re getting in, as I’m wanting to pick up the larger plant stakes I’ve found so very useful. They didn’t have then yet, but I did pick up a couple of shallow trays that we use for the inside cats’ cat soup, as we’re down a couple. One, because the cats manage to break it. Another because it now has the new water fountain taped to it, to keep the cats from spilling all over the floor. The water fountain is also taped closed because Ghosty like to tear to top off and start splashing around inside!

When we’d gone to a Dollarama in the city, I’d picked up their last 4 bowls in a particular pattern. The bowls are more like what I grew up knowing as pulmisek. I don’t know if there’s an English name for it, but it basically means “half dish” because it’s half way between a bowl and a dinner plate in side and shape. Anyhow, today, I spotted the same pattern in side plates – something else we’ve been losing to breakage – and my daughter spotted more in dinner plates. They had lots, too. So we got four of each. With the bowls we already have, we now have four 3 pc place settings in this pattern, all for much less than buying a new set of dishes would have cost. I’m quite happy with them.

Our planned stop was to the Walmart. There, we finally found the new toilet brush and toilet roll holder we didn’t get at our last Walmart trip, this time making sure they had their bar codes! An extra purchase was a case of New England clam chowder. Locally, they cost a bit under, or a bit over, $4 a can, depending on what store we go to. Walmart is usually $2.97 a can, so we do tend to buy it there when we want a treat. Today, they were on sale for $1.88 a can. Then there were a few little things my husband requested.

Another thing we got was 10 little cans of Fancy Feast cat food. These, I will be keeping in my room so that I can give them to our elderly Freya, who seems to be having trouble even with softened kibble at times. The grand old lady deserves to be pampered! When I kick all the cats out of my room, except Butterscotch and Freya, in the morning so Butterscotch can use the litter, eat and drink without being harassed by other cats, I can also give them their special breakfast. Butterscotch is also getting on in years, though she is certainly more spry than Freya, so she will get her share, too.

After we were done at the Walmart, I decided to go to the Canadian Tire across the street, for our second unplanned stop. I wanted to look at countertop ovens and microwaves. Our microwave’s fan stopped working, so it’s no longer safe to use. We only used it to reheat things, sometimes make the occasional mug cake or, rarer still, thaw or melt things.

My daughter and I looked through the section and weighed the pros and cons for the ones that met our needs, and was more affordable. Some of these get really expensive!

In the end, we decided to get the Black & Decker countertop convection oven (not an affiliate link). With the various functions, we will probably use it more than we ever used the microwave. Most toaster ovens/countertop ovens have doors that swing down from the top. This one has French doors that open to the sides – something we felt would work better, since it will be sitting on the one counter in the kitchen the cats are allowed on, because they can look out the window. The real deciding factor, however is that it is an oven that my husband can use. He can’t bend over to take things in and out of the regular oven. This will give him a bit more independence, as he’ll be able to prepare some of his own food.

It did price out at the upper limit was what I was willing to pay, but since I found myself with a Canadian Tire Mastercard, I’ve been using it strategically. In this case, I took the financing they offer on purchase totals of over $150 before taxes. Which means the amount will be divided into 12 equal payments, with 0% interest. I could have used my accumulated Canadian Tire dollars, too, but I’m saving those up to cover planned future purchases.

In the end, it turned out to be a very productive trip. The only down side is that we ended up missing my brother and his wife. They’d gone out to the farm so my brother could get his truck running for a while. He wasn’t able to actually move it – there’s too much snow and ice around it – but that was okay. While there, he also checked on the septic ejector to make sure everything still looked good, even though we’re not hooked up to it right now. They were done and gone shortly after we started for home. They did have time to stop and visit my mother, though, and bring her a dinner from a local restaurant. She did get her Meals on Wheels today, but the less she has to prepare for herself, the better. I look forward to hearing in more detail, how the visit went. Hopefully, well, but my mother has a tendency to be remarkably cruel to my brother and have no awareness of the pain she is causing him. The last time the subject of my brother came up with me, she would just suddenly start going on about how he never visits and never calls – and then started going on about how he wants all her money. ??? The only person who is after her money (not that she has much) is our vandal, who believes she has millions squirreled away somewhere.

It makes for some very difficult visits, at times. I just hope she was having one of her good days!

I’m happy to say that today was a good day for me, at least, but I sure an looking forward to having a couple of days of not having to go anywhere!

The Re-Farmer