I quite like this version of Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, by Lindsey Sterling!
Holidays
O Come, O Come, Emmanuel
Peter Hollins has a truly remarkable voice.
Such a lovely rendition of a classic.
A bit of fun (video)
There’s a reason we don’t really do Christmas trees anymore. Just a mini tree on the upright piano, in the cat free zone.
Peace
I missed posting on the first Sunday of Advent, the day for Hope. The second Sunday of Advent is the day for peace, and I thought this rendition of Oh Come, Oh Come Emanual suites very well.
A musical break while planning posts
I’ve started on my 2025 garden analysis posts, which means I’ve got way too many tabs open as I review things to plan and organize my analysis.
Which is a good time for some Christmas music as a distraction! I’ve never heard this old cover of Good Kind Wenceslas before.
Bing sure had a smooth and unique voice.
Enjoy!
The Re-Farmer
Puttering about, and so many cats!
Well, the wind never really slowed down today until is was basically dark out. I was really feeling it when I headed out to visit my mother for Thanksgiving, fighting the wind for the entire drive. It wasn’t as bad on the way home, as I no longer driving against the wind, but it was still threatening to blow me off the road!
My mother was quite happy with my surprise visit. I made sure to time it for after she got her Meals on Wheels, which she said was extra special for Thanksgiving. She was back in bed when I got there, so I went to her to show her what I’d brought. She told my that my brother had visited the other day, also bringing food for her, and how we feed her so well! I told her, it’s Thanksgiving! It’s all about the food! She was also quite happy when I told her the girls had done all the cooking, so I could get some rest.
I stayed for a fairly short visit, letting her know what the weather was like, and that I wanted to get back home again sooner rather than later, because of it. It was even a good visit, with only one side track when she started going off on a racist tangent and I started saying it was time for me to leave. She stopped and asked me to stay, and that she would stop. Which was a first! Usually, she doubles down!
Since I was there anyhow, I did a few little things about the apartment for her and made her some tea, then we just sat and talked for a while before I headed home.
I didn’t mention it to her, but my brother and SIL were at the farm when I left. My brother wasn’t up to visiting with her along the way, as he had things he needed to do while there was light to do it, and she would have demanded he stay longer than he was able to. When I got back, they were settling in for a late lunch and messaged me when they saw me get back, inviting me to join them. Which I was happy to do, and we got all caught up, until my brother had to get back at things, so I left to get out of their way. 😄
I was soon back outside to try and get things done. It was too windy for some things, but I was at least able to putter around and get quite a few little things done.
I had lots of cat company, like Fluffy, watching me from the top of the shelf in front of the bathroom window.
What a stunning cat! We can even pet her, sometimes.
Most of what I needed to go outside was putting things away for the winter, though some things were kept handy so I could use them when we have a calmer day. The 100′ extension cords were all wrapped and put away, the space around the old basement window was cleaned up again, and the winter window put in. The folding camp chairs that had been in the sun room got brushed clear before getting stored in the old kitchen. I’d given the “roof” of the broken market tent a good scrubbing with the stiff bristled sun room broom, then hung it on the chain link fence to dry. The wind was starting to blow it away, so I made sure to fold it up and stored in in the old kitchen for the winter. The frame may be broken, but the canopy and four wall panels are just find. I’m sure we can find some way to make use of them.
I didn’t work in the main garden area, but I got to put things away from the old kitchen garden and the portable greenhouse. That is also slowly being set up so that the cats can use it for shelter in the winter, with a couple of food bowls in it. One of them had been kept on the well cap with the isolation shelter’s entry protecting box over it. That’s at the isolation shelter now, and I didn’t want to leave the food bowl out without some kind of shelter over it. I did end up setting it over the isolations shelter door to try and block at least some of the winds that’s blowing things around inside.
Stinky is quite happy that it’s there! I’ve seen a few cats sitting on the ramp, now that the box is there, taking advantage of the shelter. I’ll need to figure out a better way to secure the vinyl that will be wrapped around the bottom, to protect it from the winter weather. Last winter, I just used tacks, which mostly did the job, but they weren’t enough for the severely windy days.
While cleaning things up and putting things away outside, I had a pile of scrap pieces of rigid insulation in odd sizes I needed to deal with. One of the walls in the upper level of the isolation shelter has a piece of insulation cut to fit that the cats have been using as a scratching post. to the point that one corner is basically gone. I didn’t have any pieces large enough to cut a new piece, but I did have a piece larger enough to cover the area that was scratched out. It fits snug enough that it’ll take quite a bit for it to be pulled out of position by cats.
Then I decided to use some of the pieces in the cube shelf in the sun room. A few cats are using it, but it’s a harder surface and could potentially get cold on the toa beans over the winter. So I found a piece large enough to cut to size and fit on the bottom of a cube. Once I had the size worked out, I used it as a template to cut as many more as I could, out of the scrap bits of insulation I had to work with.
I was able to cut enough to set into 7 cubes. They are really snug, so they won’t get knocked out of the cubes easily. It wasn’t long before I saw cats and kittens checking the cubes out. If I happen to find more scrap pieces of this rigid insulation that are large enough, I want to cut and add more to fit into the cub shelves. This way, in the winter, the cats can use the shelf to watch things out the window, and their to beans won’t get too cold.
I also found a place to secure the second heat lamp. This one has a 150 watt heat bulb. The other one is 250 watts.
That side of the sun room should be fairly warm in the winter, with those lamps. For now, though, the kittens like a different way of staying warm!
There are 11 kittens in that bottom shelf, plus Grommet under the heat lamp. That tuxedo in the front is, I think, the one that I expect we’ll be able to snag for the rescue, next weekend.
Speaking of which…
As I was heading inside, I spotted Smokey on the hand rail outside the sun room. It took a little while, but I was able to start petting her, and she started purring! Then Collin came by and pushed his way under my hand, and Smokey jumped down onto a bin that’s stored under the rail. I was still able to pet her there, and then…
*drum roll please!*
… she let me PICK HER UP!!!! Not only that, but she let me cuddle her for about 5 minutes, purring the whole time!!! That is massive socialization progress! By the time we bring her in to the rescue, I’m hoping she will be fully socialized.
Now, that is something to be thankful for, this Thanksgiving day!
All in all, I was able to actually get some decent work done outside before It was starting to get dark. Stuff that I would normally defer until later, while I prepped beds for winter sowing. Since it was too windy to prep garden beds for the winter, I’m quite happy to have been able to get the work done on a day like today.
As I write this, we are at 3C/37F, or 1C/34F, depending on which app I use. The wind chill right now, has it feeling like -3C/27F right now. Among the things I did was bring the rechargeable battery tools for winter storage indoors.
Meanwhile, good progress on getting things ready for the winter, though it does ten to be… questionably, that is! There’s still lots to do. We shall see how it works out.
Little by little, it’ll get done!
The Re-Farmer
So much wind!
Happy Columbus Day to my American friends!
Well, Canadian Thanksgiving has blown in like a tempest. Northern parts of the province have had snow and conditions severe enough to shut down a highway.
I can’t complain. I think it was our first Thanksgiving here, when we got hit by a blizzard.
The high winds, at least, as supposed to go away this afternoon. We’re supposed to warm up a bit over the next while but, depending on which weather app I look at, on the warmest days we’re expecting rain. I’m just hoping the weather holds so I can get more beds ready for winter sowing. Aside from a pharmacy trip tomorrow, and a telephone appointment to follow up on my hip injection, I should be able to stay home enough to get things done. Weather willing!
When I headed out to feed the cats outside this morning, they were absolutely bonkers. I used our turkey carcass to make a stock for them in the slow cooker last night, and that’s what I used to soften their kibble this morning.
They inhaled it so quickly, I mixed up a bit more so the less dominant cats could get a chance to eat!
I also had to pick up the catio, which had been knocked over by the wind (I left the vinyl wrapped around it for last winter, specifically to cut the wind and provide passive solar warmth in there. We will need to re-wrap it!). I had removed the weights on the roof to use them while painting. A couple to left the plant stand above the grass, and a couple more to weight down corners of the isolation shelter roof, where I’d used some wood glue under a support. I hadn’t put the weights back. Last night was windy, and the catio seemed fine, but the wind picked up so much since I did my evening walkabout!
Once the cats were fed and the catio secured as best I could, I moved the isolation shelter’s ramp door box in front, to reduce at least some of the wind. The upper level is enclosed, but the lower level is all wire mesh walls. We’ll be wrapping it in vinyl for the winter again, but not quite yet. The wind from below has been enough to actually blow one of the corners of the hammock loose from its hook.
I then did a thorough walk about, looking for wind damage. In the outer yard, I only found this.
The door on that rotting old … storage shed? … finally fell.
It’ll be good when we can clean up that garbage in there and get that away. It’s a shame it was allowed to fall apart like that. It’s got several shelves in there and looks like it used to be pretty sturdy. Once the roof was allowed to fall apart, that was it. I have no idea when this was built, but I expect it was built by my late brother, probably about 20-30 years ago.
For now, all I could do was lean the door back and find an old tire still on its rim as a weight to hold it in place.
While going through the inner yard, I found quite a few fallen branches. Not enough to need a wheel barrow or anything. This was the largest one I found.
I’m pretty happy with how little came down in the wind.
When it was time to come back inside, I found this in the sun room.
There were 11 kittens on that shelf, but Sir Robin jumped out while I was taking the picture.
Seeing Smokey in there is encouraging. She’s starting to enjoy being around other cats. The only concern is, she’s getting old enough to go into heat. I don’t expect her to, as they tend not to when the weather starts getting cold. Thankfully, she will be going to the rescue, next weekend.
Meanwhile, I’ll be heading to my mother’s this afternoon, with a couple of turkey dinners for her. My brother and SIL are actually coming here to the farm today, to do some more winterizing around their stuff. I’ll have a chance to see them before I head out to my mothers, but they’ll probably be gone before I get back.
It already looks like the wind is dying down, and the sun is shining! Our expected high for the day is still only 6C/43F, and we’re at only 4C/39F. We’re supposed to go below freezing overnight, too.
I did plug in the cat house, so they should be getting heat in there when the light sensor turns on the bulb as it gets dark enough. The heated water bowls are plugged in now, too, except the one in the isolation shelter. That one is nowhere near an outlet, yet.
We’re fortunate, really, so have temperatures as nice as they are right now. More time to get things done before the snow flies!
The Re-Farmer
Happy (early) Canadian Thanksgiving!
For me, it was a break. A necessary one. By the end of yesterday, I realized I’d be having issues today, so I asked the girls to take over making Thanksgiving dinner completely. I got up to feed the outside cats, and that was it. No morning rounds.
I did get quite a chuckle with a stinky visitor this morning, though! Before mixing up some cat soup to use to soften their morning kibble, with a cacophony of cats in the sun room, I quickly opened the inner door and carefully tossed a small scoop of kibble onto the floor near the trays. Something to tide them over, so it would be easier to get out with their softened food, later.
After giving the kibble time to soak, I grabbed the bowl and quickly went through the doors into the sun room – with Sir Robin getting a ride in the screenless window of the outer door! – managing to shut the inner door behind me before any cats or kittens managed to get through.
Only then did I notice that there was a small skunk, surrounded by cats and kittens, munching away at the kibble I’d tossed in earlier! It was acting like just another cat. It did leave as I was adding softened kibble to the trays in the sun room, but then, so did some of the more feral cats.
It turned out to be windy and rainy, so it wasn’t a day to get much done outside, anyhow! I did the feeding and watering, then went back to bed while the girls started prepping the turkey and getting it into the oven.
I passed out for about 4 hours.
I did end up going out briefly to give the outside cats a light feeding (I’m trying to feed less kibble, more often, so the cats can finish it off before the skunks and raccoons come over). The girls were in between things, so I did a whole lot of dishes for them before they continued. The turkey was done by then, and they just needed to do the side dishes.
I wanted to make sure to get a couple of containers of turkey dinner to bring to my mother, tomorrow. My daughters used the last of our potatoes, cooked and mashed together with a whole much of carrots from the garden, and entire bulb of garlic. With the potatoes and carrots mixed together like that, the containers for my mother looked a little sparse. At the last minute, I made a small pot of rice, because my husband likes rice more than potatoes. Then I grabbed some rhubarb from the freezer and cooked it up with some crab apples we still have, adding some brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and allspice (it seems we are all out of ground cloves!), and just a bit of water, for a dessert. The frozen rhubarb cooked down to a mush very quickly, but there were still visible chunks of cooked apple. Then I got my mother’s containers, one with potatoes, one with rice, plus dessert, ready and set aside to cool down.
We’ve rather lost use of the dining table because, cats, so we each grabbed out own plates individually.
My husband mistook the apple and rhubarb as a gravy. 😂😂
Apparently, it was still quite good!
After we’d eaten, I headed back outside again to do another light feeding of the outside cats, switch out the trail cam memory cards and then, because it was no longer raining, decided to walk up and down the driveway to get my steps in.
I quickly found myself with followers.
Lots of them.
Here are just a few.
At first, I counted a dozen, but more showed up and I counted about 20 cats and kittens. Mostly kittens.
Including one tiny white and grey tabby that is so friendly. This one is very much like the one Frank adopted than ended up passing. Thankfully, while way too smol, s/he seems to be healthier. (I’m pretty sure this one’s a she, but haven’t been able to confirm 100%.) She actually comes running when she sees me, and was doing that while I was out there. This tiny little ball of fluff, trying to keep up with me while I walked!
I picked her up and tried carrying her for a bit, but she didn’t like it much and wanted down. When I came back for another lap, though, she came running again. This time, I made a pouch in my t-shirt and tucker her in.
She snuggled her chin over my wrist and stayed.
She comfortably snuggled into my shirt, warm and cozy, for about 2000+ steps. 😄 Eventually, though, she wanted down.
I didn’t get very far when I saw Smokey’s brother loafed in the grass.
So I picked him up.
He settled in with his chin in my elbow, and stayed. At point point, I put him down so I could look at my phone and see how many steps I had left. He sat there, looking up at me, until I picked him up again and carried him some more! It wasn’t until was heading back to the house that I finally put him down. I’ve never carried him around like this before! He would have stayed longer, but I needed both hands to bring the painted plant table back into the sun room.
Those two are going to be amazing inside cats.
The little white and grey tabby I carried in my shirt will be going to the rescue next weekend, for sure. There’s a friendly little mostly white and grey, plus one of the tuxedos, that we can not only pet, but pick up and hold. They are very adoptable!
This weekend, I am giving thanks for the new rescue, which has more people and more resources, and one person willing and able to take 6 cats at once!
The Re-Farmer
Today’s progress – running around and work accomplished… sorta
I am so glad my brother said he would take care of my mother’s morning meds today, after we got the call from home care saying they didn’t have anyone to do it!
After feeding the outside cats and doing my morning rounds, I grabbed breakfast, then backed the truck closer to the inner yard. I didn’t want to go too close to the house while loading the back, because of all the very curious cats and kittens!
Speaking of which, I did a head count of all the cats and kittens I could see this morning. I counted several times and got a different number each time, but the highest count was 42. Mostly kittens. I’ve been messaging with the rescue group and mentioned this, commenting on how I can now see why we’re going through kibble so fast. I told them I got four 40 pound bags when disability came in at the end of Septembers. Sixteen days, and we’ve gone through three of them. I had to start the fourth one, today. They asked if I could last a week. I think we might be able to. They also asked about the prices for 40 pounds bags, and I was later able to send them pictures of a couple of receipts from the two different feed stores I go to, and the two different brands I get from them. A rescue would certainly be on the look out for better prices on kibble!
Anyhow…
I am so happy we have that new cover installed on the truck!
We were finally able to take the garbage from cleaning out the sun room to the dump. After I loaded those much bigger bags from the sun room clean up, with my older daughter distracting kittens away from me and the truck as best she could, she helped me get the household garbage out of the old kitchen, where the bags go until we can do a dump run. With all the kittens running around, it’s easier to have one person pass these smaller bags through the screenless window in the storm door to a second person. That way, only one person has to dodge kittens! 😄
This is the first dump run we’ve been able to make since we took the truck in for repair and getting the new cover installed. With the extra garbage from the sun room clean up, it filled the entire space under the cover – and no worries that something would blow away on the highway!
Once the truck was loaded, I was off to the dump. I got there right at 10. There was already a truck parked on the road, waiting for the gate to be unlocked. It turned out that the car in front of me was the attendant! I had it in my head that they opened at nine, forgetting that winter hours starts at the end of October, not the beginning. Glad I didn’t leave for a 9am opening!
By the time I unloaded the truck, there was a whole crowd of vehicles that had come in behind me, including a dump truck with two huge crushed cubes of garbage. !!! I’m happy to say that the area in front of the pit was relatively clear of huge piles of garbage. I’m still nervous about getting a flat tire every time I got in there, though.
That done, it was off to the pharmacy in town. I wanted to get refills before I ran out. I’m glad I didn’t wait. I have my anti-inflammatories, and my stomach meds to protect from the anti-inflammatories. I take the stomach meds only once a day, but can take up one or two anti-inflammatories, up to three times a day. If I were to take the max dose of the anti-inflammatories, I would finish both at the same time. I only need to take a couple of anti-inflammatories once a day, though, so those last a lot longer. I’d actually picked up a refill a while back, but it has disappeared, and I never used any of it. I’m still finishing my first bottle. I suspect a cat knocked the second bottle of the shelf, but I haven’t been able to find it, anywhere! So I had to get another refill.
The stomach meds, though, have already been refilled twice before, and my prescription was done for refills. The pharmacy would have to fax my doctor to get an extension. Unfortunately, today is a Saturday on Thanksgiving weekend, which means the earliest the doctor will get the fax is on Tuesday.
Once again, glad I started this now, and not later! I’ll have enough to last until the updated prescription is in. If I’d waited, I would have run out, and I really don’t want to do that. These have saved me from so much pain and stiffness, it still amazes me.
Meanwhile, I was able to get the other refills. While the pharmacy was taking care of that, I headed over to the grocery store to pick up a few things before Thanksgiving.
I didn’t have much on my list, but I did spend time going through the store, looking for something I might want to add to our Thanksgiving dinner. I should have picked something up while in my mother’s town, yesterday! They had much better sales on pies. This store had sales, too, but they were not only more expensive even with the sale price, you had to buy two of them to get the sale price, Otherwise, they were regular price – and there was no way I was paying that much for a small pie!
Taking my time at the grocery store gave the pharmacy the time then needed to fill my prescriptions. They were just bagging it up when I got there. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get the missing one on Tuesday.
Meanwhile, my brother had surprised my mother by showing up to do her morning med assist instead of the home care worker. He also had a couple of Thanksgiving dinners my SIL had packed for her. She was very happy about that and said they would be her lunch and supper! 😊 He stayed long enough to take care of her portable air conditioner and the window set up for the winter. He was done and already here at the farm before I got back from my own errands, so I went over to see how things went. She can be particularly cruel to him.
She turned out to be having a good day today, and was actually mostly kind to him. As we were catching up, he remembered to tell me my mother brought up about me and the farm. I immediately became suspicious, but he told me it was good. She had brought up about how we are paying for the utilities here, and he said yes, plus things like the internet, and fixing things, and so on. She started to say how she wanted to help. I told him, she has teased about helping with the door replacement a couple of times, but I don’t expect her to. He assured me, she’ll help with the door replacement. As her PoA, he could even make it easier for her and do an etransfer, or she can write me a check, if she prefers, but he says she intends to help with the door. She wants this place to be in good shape.
I don’t trust her. She’s burned all of us, at one time or another, by making promised and then backing out at the last minute. She has cost my brother many thousands of dollars by doing that. Even the times she has helped, like with the new roof and replacing the septic ejector, it was because my brother made sure she followed through. She actually tried to back out of paying for the roof like she promised, after the work was done, because she refused to believe it should cost more than a thousand dollars (it was around $15,000, I think), even though we got estimates and showed them to her.
I trust my brother, but there’s only so much he can do, and I don’t trust her.
We shall see. Lord knows, we could use the help after this past very rough couple of years, and my brother knows it.
Meanwhile, as I got caught up with my brother, I came into the house to find my purchases had all magically put themselves away. 😄 That allowed me to go back outside and try and get some work done.
Painting the isolation shelter and a few other things, were priority. It was supposed to be a much warmer day today, but it has been insanely windy.
I did get the painting done, though. The new paint is very noticeably lighter! I don’t care, though. I made no effort to try and keep the new colour off the painted parts. When I find something better to bring in for colour matching, we’ll get another can of paint in the right shade, and give what I got painted today a second coat, after winter.
The sliding windows had to be removed, of course. I was careful when painting the tracks, as I didn’t want them to get filled with pools of paint by accident.
In the first picture, you can see the box to shelter the ramp opening. Later on, I want to flip it upside down to paint the inside, but that’s not a priority. I got the old plant stand painted, and it’s sitting on a couple of broken sidewalk block pieces to keep it above ground.
The second picture is the side where the sliding window can only side towards the front, not over the insulated side wall. There was a bit to do in the front, and a single piece on the back that needed to be done, but most of the painting needed was on the sides.
I did not do the wire mesh door. It was so windy, I was starting to get an ear ache and had to head inside for a while.
After a break, I headed out again. By then, the paint was no longer wet to the touch, so I put the sliding windows back, which you can see in the third picture. Everything was sliding just the way they should!
That cats could now use it, too. Without those windows, the wind was blowing through so much, it actually blew a corner of the hammock loose!
My next project was to continue that garden bed I’d done half of.
Just in time for it to start raining!
I stayed out as a light rain came and went, while thunder rumbled in the distance, until it finally started coming down too hard to stay outside.
The first picture is the “before” shot. The second is how far I got before it started raining too hard.
So. Many. Tree roots. I think I got about half way down that side. Maybe a bit less. The rock bucket is a little over half full.
Once the roots and rocks were cleared, the soil was wonderfully light and fluffy. Perfect to grow in – if we didn’t have to worry about those roots coming back!
I’m glad I got as much done as I did. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get back at it. Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer, but rainy. We’ll be having our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, anyhow. I plan to pack up a care package for my mother and visit her on Thanksgiving day. She will be getting her Meals on Wheels, though, so it will be for later in the day. Monday and Tuesday are supposed to be quite chilly, with overnight lows reaching below freezing, but then it’s supposed to warm up again. That will be my time to get the beds finished, then start some winter sowing! I’ll have to go through my seed packs and work out where I want to plant things. Some things will be more appropriate for the old kitchen garden, right against the house. Others can be planted well away from the house, as they would get harvested in the fall. Some beds will get the winter sowing marked clearly, so that I can sow other things among them in the spring.
I’m really looking forward to having a better gardening year than this one was!
The Re-Farmer
Energy levels, low. Heat tolerance, lower!
My tolerance for heat as I get older is really, really dropping. Today was even cooler than yesterday, but I’m still feeling it!
We hit 26C/79F by this afternoon, and the temperature just does not want to drop. We are currently under weather advisories for possible funnel cloud development that specifically includes our municipality.
I don’t expect any in our area.
Last night, I did have an lovely visit with my brother and SIL. As I was walking over to their trailer, I discovered I was being watched.
Two of the possibly four feral kittens in the outer yard. Just look as those adorable little mouths!
Hopefully, they will get used to coming into the safety and security of the inner yard, and we can start socializing them.
I got to bed late. That nap did mess up my sleep cycle, but it was not the only thing. I did finally put together my June garden tour video, using clips I recorded on the 21st. I was so tired, though, I left it and will go over it again before I upload it.
With the heat, I’ve got a couple of fans going, including one aimed to blow air into the hallway from across the room. Which meant keeping my door open for the night.
Poor Butterscotch. At one point, I was sitting at the edge of my bed, spray bottle in hand, watching over her while she ate. For some reason, we have a couple of cats that will basically go after her, on sight. I just don’t get it.
In the end, it was more like I got a couple of short naps during the night. I was up early, though it was so bright out, it felt late. I was able to get all the garden beds watered, along with the trees we’ve planted, both in the future food forest and the outer yard.
I am so glad I pruned away those ornamental crab apple branches in the old kitchen garden, yesterday. My little herb bed was actually getting sunlight this morning!
Once the watering was done, I was going to lie down for about an hour and a half, then head into town in the afternoon. The tightener on the new clothes line started to slip while my daughter was hanging laundry on it. I wanted to go to a hardware store and pick up a metal one.
Well, that didn’t work out.
First was the realization that I forgot to eat breakfast. I clued in when I started feeling nauseous and dizzy, while lying down. So I made a couple of quick sandwiches, then tried to lie down again. Which is when the messages and notifications started coming in like crazy. I finally gave up and got up.
Not that I’m complaining. Some of those messages were from my SIL. My mother has been calling and leaving messages with my brother about something important she wanted to talk to him about, but any time he tried to call back, it was telephone tag. So he was going to take her out for lunch, thinking she would probably go to church, which is just across the street from her building. They were wondering if I wanted to come along, too. My SIL will no longer go there, after my mother declared she was just my brother’s wife, not family. My SIL has been nothing but kind to my mother, has defended her and stood up for her, without making excuses for her behaviour, many times. Yet my mother repaid her kindness with verbal abuse. It took many, many years, but my mother finally managed to drive her way. My SIL still defends my mother and stands up for her, when things call for it, but will no longer go there unless absolutely necessary – and only if someone else, like me, is there.
Knowing how my mother treats my brother, and that she behaves better when I’m there, too, I quite happily said I would come along. I remembered that I wanted to go to the hardware store, too, and my brother was willing to stop at the one in my mother’s town. It wasn’t until we were driving in that I remembered they close on Sundays.
Also, according to their car’s Siri, my mother’s town does not exist, and there are no hardware stores there at all.
???
My brother called Mom just before we got there. My mother had not made it to church, and someone had just finished coming over to give her Communion. So our timing was good.
Once there, my brother wanted us to go to the restaurant right away, but my mother kept stalling. The very important thing she wanted to talk to my brother about was an article she read in Women’s magazine, that the social workers leave copies of with her. The article was about US money, 401Ks, and banking, and about people finding lost bank accounts with money in them. She then dug out a letter that was sent to her back in 1971.
Yes, more than 50 years ago.
It was from a bank.
It seems that when her father died, her mother put some money in the bank for my mother. An inheritance of some kind. My mother didn’t understand the letter or know what to do about it, with her limited English of the time period. So she kept the letter, but never responded. The article reminded her of it.
She has no idea how much was deposited in the account. However, this is Canada. What probably happened is that they kept charging fees on the account before shutting it down as inactive. Or, if it’s still open, she probably owes them money, instead.
Neither of us bothered to try and explain any of that to her. She could not have understood, and it would have just made her upset. However, I recently had a conversation with her, trying to explain compound interest. She’s had a GIC for decades and every year, she would remove the interest earned to put into her regular bank account, so the amount never changed. I’d used a compound interest calculator with hypothetical amounts in it and, using 70 years (the minimum I’m sure of that she’s had such a saving’s account) and only 1% interest. The end result was over $23 million.
So then she read this article and now might be thinking something like this has happened. Which is highly unlikely.
My brother, having PoA, promised to look it up for her. Which is going to be a real pain. It has taken him months to prove he has PoA to various institutions. Plus, in the letter, my mother’s surname is spelled wrong.
Even bringing up the spelling mistake on her name, which my mother never noticed, was more than my mother could grasp as a potential problem. For all we know, that bank doesn’t even have a branch in that northern city anymore.
It was really difficult and confusing to get to the point of what my mother wanted. She kept trying to explain things and going off in different directions. Finally, my brother insisted we start heading out, because he was hungry.
My mother actually tried to get out of it, because of how hard it is for her to move. She had both of us to help her, though, so we did manage to get her to my brother’s car and off to her favourite chicken restaurant.
Before we even got there, she let us know she wanted pizza, not chicken. This place does have good pizza! My brother was surprised, though, as he always gets her chicken. She’s only ever ordered pizza when she’s gone out with me.
When ordering, my brother suggested she get a larger pizza, so she could take some home for later, which she was good with. My brother and I ordered chicken dinners and I ordered fries with mine. I’m not a big fan of fries, by my mother likes them, so I just ate a few and left the rest for my mother.
My mother turned out to be very, very hungry! For all her complaining and not wanting to go out, she very happily scarfed down half her pizza – and was more than happy to accept my fries to take home, too! So she will have supper tonight, at the very least, without having to do any cooking.
The conversation got strange at times. She asked us what we planned to do for Canada Day. It’s on a Tuesday this year. Neither of us have plans, and my mother started to complain about how there isn’t much happening and no one cares anymore. Basically, if she wasn’t aware of planned celebrations, they aren’t happening, and she was making up motivations for it. My brother pointed out that the town closer to us is having fireworks over the lake. They always do it over the lake, so there’s no chance of starting any forest fires.
Well, that got my mother going. She started blaming all the fires on “those people”, then started going on about how, in Europe, they take care of their forests and preserve their forests, and Canada is better than Europe, has more resources, so we could do better. She actually said that, if people weren’t out there setting fires, there would be no forest fires at all.
I finally brought up a map of Canada’s Boreal forest to show her, trying to give her a visual about how the forests in Europe are absolutely tiny compared to Canada – I think our boreal forest itself is bigger than all of Europe. Plus, they have a lot more people, closer together. They can do forest management that is impossible here in Canada.
She was too busy being impressed that I could use my phone to show her a map of the boreal forest in Canada, to get the point I was trying to make.
We managed to change the subject when she started to throw increasingly racist comments, only vaguely connected to the topic at hand.
In general, though, it all went rather well, and she really enjoyed her meal.
Once we got her home, my brother wanted to leave fairly quickly, as he still had things he wanted to get done around their trailer before they have to go back to the city. We did not mention that they were out here, as that would have triggered all sorts of conspiratorial type assumptions on her part. She did start to talk about the farm and get really agitated, asking my brother to promise to never sell the farm after she’s gone. Something she’s asked – demanded – of him, many times. She started going on about how she and my dad had worked so hard there and built it up and she didn’t want all that work to be “wasted” by being sold. My brother tried to point out to her what was already there when they bought the property. They even got a small herd of cows and a couple of horses included, though my dad modernized to using tractors instead of horses. My mother was all excited about all that, not understanding the point my brother tried to make. It was not just our family that built up this farm. It was another family, that sold it into ours. Even then, when my dad’s uncle owned it, it was really his wife that ran things, as she was part of the family that owned it before. Basically, what she’s doing is like the previous family that owned it, trying to tell my parents what they could or couldn’t do with the land.
At one point, we tried to remind her that the reason my brother has the property now is because of the trouble our vandal was causing. She actually tried to say, he’s got nothing to do with it. I happened to be facing my brother to see his jaw drop and his eyes practically pop out of his heat. Our vandal had everything to do with it! I tried to rephrase it so she could understand what we were trying to say – we were literally agreeing with her on most points – when she said, he (or vandal) didn’t own it, she did (at the time), so he was not part of it.
The irony of her saying that was completely lost on her. She doesn’t own it anymore, either, but still wants control. My poor brother is now saddled with this money pit, and she thinks she’s “given” him something that is worth soooooo much. There was no way to explain things to her, and she was getting really worked up, so we had to calm her down before we could say our good-byes. My mother keeps saying, she isn’t going to be with us much longer (I swear, she’s going to outlive us all!) and is obsessed with what’s going to happen with her possessions when she’s gone, and with the farm.
I am really glad I went along. My brother is a much better person than I am, and she can still hurt him. Badly. Which she does often. I can be a sort of buffer for him, and a sounding board for later, when he needs to vent.
By the time we got back to the farm, it was the hottest part of the day and staying there. I was falling asleep on my feet, so I finally had a chance to lie down for a bit, setting my timer for half an hour.
Then adding another half hour.
I finally managed to de-cat myself and get up – Fenrir did NOT want to get off my hip! – but I’ve been barely functional, since. I ended up getting the girls to do the outside cat feeding. When it cools down a bit, I will head outside to do the rest of the evening rounds. I still extremely sleepy – I’ve dozed off while writing this, several times now! I hope to actually get sleep tonight. Tomorrow, we’re finally going to do our Costco shopping! It’s the day before Canada Day, so it’s going to be insane, but maybe not so bad, if I leave early enough.
This heat is sucking the energy right out of me, and it’s not even that hot out (relatively speaking).
The Re-Farmer
