dealing with elderly parents

That worked out unexpectedly well!

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First, the cuteness!

I just got back home again and spotted Poirot in with her babies, and had to pause for this.

I actually couldn’t see the little black one until viewing these files on my desktop! The little voidling disappears into the void of his mother’s fur. 😁

Last night, I remembered that we hadn’t done my mother’s monthly blook work yet, and that she had a fasting blood test to do as well. I made arrangements with her to come over this morning, aiming to get her to the lab, which is just a few blocks from her place, as early as possible, so she wouldn’t have to keep fasting for so long.

I ended up having a ridiculously early morning. I’ve been waking up as the days get light, which means I’ve been waking up earlier and earlier for a while now! This morning, it was about 5:30am, and I didn’t need to get up until later. While in the washroom, though, I heard suspect kitten noises, so I got a daughter to join me to check on them while feeding them. It’s much easier to get wet cat food to the kittens with a second person! I still had to close up the inner door on the sun room to let the babies have a chance to eat. Poirot and Brussel had left when I started dispensing the kibble, with Poirot heading off somewhere in the outer yard. Caramel’s kittens were in the cat house, of course, so I tucked their tray into the entry, hoping they would find it and eat before the other cats discovered it. I have noticed that the other adult cats don’t go into the cat house at all, now that the babies are in there, which is good.

By the time I finished my rounds, Poirot was back and at the sun room door, wanting in but too scared to let me come close and open it for her. It doesn’t actually close all the way; things have shifted too much over the winter. It jams onto the threshold enough to stay closed, but if a cat were to push against it, it opens – something some of the other cats have already figured out!

I headed out to my mother’s for about 8:30am. As I parked and headed in, I saw someone leaving and immediately thought it was probably the health care worker. Sure enough, I was right; I had just missed her. My mother remembered not to have breakfast with her pills, which was good. She was all dressed and ready to go, too… including a grocery list! Which I was happy to see, as I forgot to suggest I could do her grocery shopping while I was there. We had time to go over her list and the new flier. Whole chicken was on an excellent sale and she was okay with getting one, which made me happy. She is not getting enough protein, and we all need more protein as we get older.

That done, we headed to the lab in the hospital. She was the only one there, so they were able to take her in and get it done very quickly. So quickly, she actually complained as I was helping her out of the chair, that everyone is in such a hurry! The technician didn’t actually hurry, but was efficient in doing a very basic blood draw, but for someone who struggles just to get in and out of their slightly higher chair, I’m sure it feels way too fast!

Since she was out and about, and in need of breakfast, I suggested we try out the newly renovated and re-opened restaurant that she’s been wanting to go to for some time. Even when they were still closed and very much under renovation, she tried to get me to stop and go inside to see if they were open yet. 😄 I drove past it on the way to her place, so I knew it was open for breakfast. She happily agreed, but was then surprised when I drove to the highway. She wanted to go to the “new” restaurant, and this building has been there for a long time.

???

She then told me her neighbours were talking about a new restaurant. This was the only one that I knew about.

With the new renovations, this place now has a wheelchair ramp, but no automatic doors, which I found a bit odd. If I had not been there with her, my mother would have had a very hard time getting in on her own. They are clearly not completely finished with their plans, with dining tables in only one half of the space. Tables spaced nice and far apart, with plenty of room for someone to get through with a walker, even if there were people sitting in the chairs. At this time, though, there was only one occupied table.

We had a basic eggs, hashbrowns, meat (I had sausage, my mother had bacon) and toast breakfast. It was quite good, and the portions generous. Given that my mother was literally breaking her fast, she was quite hungry, so that worked out very well.

More people came in while we were eating and, my mother being my mother, she started talking to people at the other tables. As I was coming back from paying the bill, I caught the tail end of someone explain to Mom about the new restaurant she had been hearing about. It turns out it was more like a canteen in the rec centre that is only open a few days a week. No wonder I hadn’t heard about it!

Once we were done there, I took my mother home, since she was clearly getting pretty tired. When we got to her door, though, we found something in front of it.

A reusable grocery bag with a card in an envelop sticking out of it.

My immediate thought went to our vandal, while my mother started listing off all sorts of other possibilities.

I was right. Our vandal and come by and, with my mother away, had left things at the door for her.

My mother was so tired, she settled into her chair without pausing to take her jacket off. The bag turned out to have four mini fruit pies in it. I opened the card for her, too. It was a mother’s day card, and she was quite delighted by the chickadees pictures on the front. I opened it up and there was a note written inside from our vandal. It was from both him and his wife, though clearly his handwriting. The note was a brief mention about something his “cancer counsellor” told him. It was unusually benign, which suggests to me his wife actually saw and knew about the card, though it still reeked of manipulation. Other cards and letters he has left with her were typically quite nasty.

My mother was too enamored by the pretty chickadees to notice or care.

Once she was settled and comfortable, I headed out with her shopping list. I also needed to go to the post office, which is almost directly across the street from the grocery store, so I parked at the grocery store, then grabbed the envelopes to walk across and mail them, first.

I immediately noticed a very familiar looking vehicle.

While I was getting the envelopes out, I saw our vandal getting into it. My mother and I must have just missed him at her place by minutes!

As I walked across to the post office, he left the parking lot and I was concerned that he might have seen and recognized me, and would decide to go back to my mother’s again. So I got things mailed and did the shopping quickly. Not that it would have taken long, anyhow; my mother’s shopping lists are not long.

When I got back to my mother’s place with her shopping, the first thing I asked was if everything was okay. She was surprised to see me back so quickly – she hasn’t even taken her jacket off, yet! I explained to her about seeing our vandal and that I was concerned he would come back, if he’d seen me.

Then we promptly forgot all about him.

After the groceries were put away, I stayed longer to do a bit of housekeeping for her. There wasn’t much she needed done, so I was soon on my way home.

It was actually quite disorienting to realize it was not even 11:30 when I left.

By this time, things were starting to get quite hot, and the high winds were in full force. Our expected high of 27C/81F has been dropped to 25C/77F, which we are at right now and are expected to stay at for several more hours.

When I got home, I had to check on the raised bed covers, and they are all holding up to the wind. The portable greenhouse, however, is not doing as well. We had to tie the door open, as it was over 50C/122F in there. The door faces the house, and the wind is from the south, so at least the doorway is sheltered, but plastic covering the frame is still ballooning. At some point, the ties for the door came loose, so it was flapping. My husband’s window faces it, so he was able to let us know and my daughter fixed it. She ended up draping a broken hose over it, and pushed the cat trap right against one side of it, to try and reduce the ballooning. That actually helped quite a bit. Unfortunately, the plastic around the doorway is starting to tear. Where it’s attached to the zipper already had some tears, and that’s gotten much worse, but even at one corner, where the tie down loop is, has started to tear.

*sigh*

I can’t say I’m surprised by this, but I really was hoping it would hold out longer. At least the roof and three sides are still holding out. It’s just the side with the doorway. We’ll still be able to make it work out.

It’s getting time to feed the outside cats for the evening, so I’ll be heading outside to check on things soon. With this wind and heat, though, there is no way I’ll be able to continue clearing out the garden bed I started on, yesterday. The high winds are supposed to continue through the night, but tomorrow is supposed to be cooler (as in, just under 20C/68C) and the winds are supposed to die down by then, so I should be able to finish clearing that bed then. I have decided that I will plant peas down the middle of this bed, and potatoes on either side. Once the bed is clear, I will set up posts to hold trellis netting down the middle, then get netting on it right away, so that’s over and done with, before planting anything. If things go smoothly, I should be able to get the peas and potatoes planted by the end of the day.

If things go smoothly.

I don’t really count on that. 😄

Now to go feed some kitties and check for wind damage!

The Re-Farmer

Our 2025 Garden: prepping a bed, and walnut finally planted

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Finally!

I got that poor little walnut sapling planted!

The seeds still need to be done, but they are not as urgent.

I had debated where to plant the sapling, and decided to plant is to the south of the ash tree. This location is almost straight out from the gate by the fire pit, so if we need to, it would be fairly easy to get a hose out to it. It’s also closer to the ash tree than the Korean Pine that got drowned out. When things were at their wettest, this area did get wet, but not to the point of standing water.

Here is how it went.

In the first photo, you can see the area is thick with dead thatch. I actually started out by pulling a lot of it out by hand, around the marker, before going over it again with a rake. In the second photo, you can see it after the raking. The dead grass I raked up is basically hay, so I set it aside to use as a mulch, later.

The next step was to dig out the sod around the marker. Since a sapling is going into here, I dug it wider than I would need to do if I were planting a seed.

Of course, I hit rocks.

After removing wedges of sod to the side, I dug around to loosen the soil and get it a bit deeper. Which wasn’t very deep before I started kitting gravel. Quite a while was spent finding and removing the flat pieces of rock that you can see in the next photo. These would all be from a single piece of limestone that fractured in layers, which is very typical. There was also a big chunk of granite.

The soil here is very black, very sticky and very heavy! It wanted to stick to my spade like clay.

After digging down as much as I intended to – just to the gravel layer – I went through the chunks of sod to remove any larger roots, and to loosen them up a pit. Then, leaving them upside down, I put them back into the hole, slightly beyond the edge, so the points of the wedges all sort of sunk downwards. Then a hacked at the sod around the middle with a hoe to loosen more soil and refill the hollow in the centre a bit. On top of that, I added about half of the soil I brought. My brother had a leftover bag of soil he passed on to me. After reading the label, I decided to use that instead of making our own mix.

I then used about half of the container of water I brought to water the hole before planting the walnut sapling. I wanted to make sure it would be slightly higher than what the ground level was when I started, but also wanted to make it so any rain would drain towards the middle before getting absorbed by the soil. I’d brought a collar to put around the sapling as well, which will help with both keeping it slightly higher, and also allowing water to percolate into the soil slowly around the sapling itself, rather than draining away and eroding the soil away from the transplant.

Then, since I had these handy flat rocks I needed to do something with, I set them around the sapling, on the upturned pieces of sod. This would both direct water flow towards the sapling and keep any grass or weeds from coming up around it. While this area gets pretty wet at times, we tend to have more drought conditions than flooding conditions, overall.

The marker was placed near the sapling. I forgot to bring something to gently secure the sapling to the marker, to keep it upright. Something I will want to do sooner rather than later, to keep it secure in place until its roots become established.

Last of all, the raked up hay/dried grass was set around the collar to act as a mulch. I ran out, but it was just a matter of raking nearby to get more.

Little by little, over the next while, we’ll get those walnut seeds planted at the other markers. For those, at least, they won’t need as large a hole to be dug!

After that was done, I decided to finally work on one of the garden beds that was being solarized.

Ha!

That didn’t quite work.

The thing with solarizations is, the plastic has to have direct contact with the soil. It needs to be held down tightly. Which we weren’t able to do – and with this bed, it just became a greenhouse for weeds!

In the first picture, you can see how “puffy” the plastic looks, as it gets lifted by the greenery below.

The second picture shows how completely overgrown this bed had gotten! It is mostly dandelions – which were even blooming on the north end of the bed, where it gets longer sunshine.

This bed has had a few years of amendments to it, and was completely reworked last spring, so the soil would be nice and loose. Between that and how large the weeds were, it was going to be a lot easier to clean it up than it looked! The first thing to do was go over the entire bed with a garden fork to loosen the soil and root systems. Once that was done, I brought out my little hand cultivator to loosen it more, so I could remove as much of the root systems as possible. Along with the dandelion tap roots, there were some crab grass rhizomes, and waaaayyyy too much Creeping Charlie. Creeping Charlie roots really do creep, mostly near the surface of the soil, as it spreads. These mats of roots would even get all caught up in my hand cultivator, making it easier to get them out. Unfortunately, even the tiniest remaining root can start growing and spreading, but at least I could get the bulk of it out!

While working on this, I disturbed a surprising number of frogs, and even a Wooly Bear!

With the bed so low to the ground, though, this was an uncomfortable and painful job. I brought over the rolling seat, which helped, but I was only up to weeding one side. Since this is all infested with Creeping Charlie roots, it all went into a wheelbarrow to add to the burn pile, rather than to compost.

Tomorrow, if all goes well, I’ll finish the other half of the bed and get it planted. I have decided

The caterpillar was something I ended up picking up and moving. My apologies for the terrible picture, but it was in the leaf litter under the nearby black currant bush, and I had to zoom in quite a bit!

The frog in the next picture was really tiny, so I caught that one and moved it, too. The others I disturbed were larger, and I left them to hop out of the way on their own!

By the time I was done, it was time to feed the outside cats for the evening. With giving the littles wet cat food, what I end up doing is chasing out the adult cats and closing up the door to the sun room, to give them a chance to eat. With Caramel and her babies, I set a bowl with both wet and dry cat food inside the entry to the cat house – and spotted Caramel peaking at me from around the opening inside! I couldn’t see her babies but, when looking through the window next to the entrance, I couldn’t see her babies in their cat bed, either. I went to the other window, where I could see Caramel from the other side, and could just spot her darker kitten half under her, waiting. She was already bringing her babies to the entry, expecting food for them! This is a good sign!

While tending to the kittens in the sun room, I noticed Kale’s front leg had a scab fall off, so I got a daughter to bring the cat safe polysporin to put on the leg. It’s not bleeding, and the wound is closing up, but there is still a chance of infection. There is also the wound on her back leg but, right now, there just seems to be a spot of matted fur. My daughter had to look at it while I tried to hold on to a squirming Kale. She thinks the matting is from dried puss, but she can’t see anything other than the matted fur right now. The wound there seems to have closed up. We can’t say for sure what caused these wounds, but I still think it was from being excessively licked after some squeeze treat accidentally dripped onto her while I was giving it to Brussel.

That done, I was glad to get inside and sit down to the supper my daughter had made for me – but did remember to call my mother, first. I’ve been forgetting to take her in for her monthly blood work. This time, she’s also got a requisition for fasting blood work. We are now arranged for me to take her to the lab when they open at 9am, so that she won’t have to wait too long before eating. When I told her not to eat anything with her morning pills, she told me that she would stop eating for the rest of today; the home care aid for her suppertime meds had left just before I called. I told her she could still have a snack before bed or something; just not breakfast. It seems she’s gotten it into her head that it’s somehow a morally superior thing to not eat for the rest of this evening, too. That would be way too long for her to go without eating!

I remembered to ask her about her new prescription painkillers, to find out if she’d taken them before bed, as I’d suggested, and how they worked. It turned out she hadn’t taken any at all, but was feeling enough pain that she was just about to. I’m glad I asked about it, because she thought that she was supposed to take 2 tablets at a time, “as needed”. The actual instructions are to take 1 tablet, twice a day, as needed. As we went over the instructions again, she started saying that maybe she should not take them at all until she finished her other ones – the extra strength Tylenol she normally takes. I had to explain to her that she could take both; that if, for some reason, she had taken her prescription painkillers twice, but was still feeling pain, she could safely take a Tylenol, because they are in the same family of painkillers (which is the same thing for me, with the different painkillers I’ve been tried on so far). While I was trying to explain that if she had taken the prescription painkillers, she kept interrupting me to tell me that she hasn’t taken any at all. I’d say again, yes, I know, but IF you had taken them… I haven’t taken any of them! she would tell me, again and again, cutting me off before I could finish what I was trying to explain to her! I did finally finish what I was trying to say but, by then, I’m not sure she was still following me along, or if her mind had already gone somewhere else.

So… I think she was still going to take one after we were done on the phone, and knew that she could take a second one before she went to bed if she needed to, but I am not sure what she will actually do.

She also brought up, in the middle of everything else, that she has been having troubles with her headaches and her chest. I had to ask her what she meant by her “chest”. Oh, you know… my head and my chest…

No, Mom. I don’t know! I understand headaches, but what to you mean by chest?

I had to clarify, because sometimes she complains about different physical pains in her chest, but sometimes, she means her breathing.

It turned out she meant her breathing.

I asked if she was seeing any swelling in her legs.

Oh, yes… but it’s my chest that’s the problem.

*sigh*

She then started saying that she’s fine if she is just sitting, but when she walks around, she starts having trouble breathing.

So I had to explain to her again, the doctors warned her that if she has swelling in her legs and has trouble breathing, she might need to go back to the hospital. She couldn’t make the connection between the swelling and her breathing, so I explained again that if she has swelling in her legs, that means her body is holding water, and she might have water in her lungs, too. She then wondered how this could be happening, with all the pills she’s taking.

*sigh*

She has somehow convinced herself that, because she is taking soooo many pills, she should never get sick with anything. I told her that there is only one pill she is taking that has anything to do with her swelling, and that’s her water pill. The other pills are for different things, and none of them are specifically about breathing.

We’ve had similar conversations many times, so I expect she will have forgotten it already. I did suggest that she ask the home care aid to check the swelling on her legs tonight; the last time I was there and she said she had swollen legs, when she showed them to me, they weren’t swollen at all. She actually had sagging skin, which suggests that she did have swelling recently, but it had gone down by the time I was there to see, one way or the other.

The home care office is closed, but I’ll call up the case coordinator and leave a message with her. She was at the meeting with the doctor in the hospital before my mother was discharged, so she is aware of what we were told to watch out for.

The lab I’ll be taking her to, tomorrow, is in the local hospital. Which isn’t really a hospital, since they don’t have the doctors to actually do anything, but there are Nurse Practitioners in the clinic in the same building. That’s where she had gone when they saw that she needed to be hospitalized, and she was transferred to a hospital that has actual doctors, a functioning emergency room and can admit patients.

At this point, my mother being hospitalized again could actually be another of those “blessings in disguise” when it comes to getting her into some sort of assisted living or long term care situation, like she wants so much. With the updates to her panel application for long term care, it might just be enough to get her in.

We shall see how that works out!

The Re-Farmer

Not the day I planned

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But first, the cuteness.

While doing my rounds this morning, I tried to move Poirot’s kittens into the cat cage in the sun room. I set them into the cat cave in one of the cubes and waited, but Poirot would not go into the sun room. So, I eventually moved things around in the water bowl shelter.

I accidentally reposted the first picture, and Instagram won’t let me delete it. If you scroll through, you’ll see a video of mama getting wet cat food while her littles try to nurse.

After she was done eating and moved away, I first put them into a cat carrier set in the space between the three shelters. She went in, and when she came out, the white one was clinging to her side! It fell off and Poirot ran a short distance away, so I but the kitten back into the carrier, then took it into the sun room. I made sure she could see me moving them into the cat cage. I then went inside and monitored the critter cam.

She wouldn’t go in.

After while, I moved things around in the water bowl shelter, then took the kittens, still in the cat cave, and set that up in the water bowl shelter. My concern is, we’re supposed to get a couple of cold nights, and that shelter is too exposed. Inside the cat cave would, at least give them more protection.

She seemed to accept the new set up. When we did the evening feeding, she went to the kibble bowls, then had some of the wet cat food we gave her. This time, though, she didn’t finish it off, so it went elsewhere.

Just a little while ago, my older daughter came in to tell me she found the white and grey kitten on the floor in the sun room. The white kitten was still in the cat cave, and she was asking, how many did Poirot have? The black kitten was missing!

I ended up finding it in one of the cat carriers we keep in one of the shelves supporting the platform.

On the third level.

I really hope that kitten she found hadn’t fallen down from that height!!

I ended up setting the cat cave back into the cat cage. Today was another warm day, but with a cold wind. I think she was trying to find a warmer place for her babies. That carrier would have been okay, if it were at floor level, but she ignored the two that were at floor level!

So now I’m back to monitoring the critter cam.

Meanwhile, Brussel’s two are very active.

Gosh, Kale looks just like her mother!!!

Also, Oofus the Brave is now Sir Robin the Brave. 😄

While my daughter was helping feed the outside cats and taking the wet cat food to Poirot, she found a strange kitten!

It was one of Caramel’s. They are getting active enough to actually climb out of the cat house! We do have a board set up as a ramp, just for the little kittens to be able to get in and out.

So my daughter took one of the other food bowls for the kittens that wasn’t being used, and put it inside the entry to the cat house.

The kittens loved it!

When I took this picture, I saw the food was all gone, so I brought over the container of wet cat food that Poirot didn’t eat and switched bowls. Caramel and her kittens cleaned it all up!

Meanwhile, after my daughter told me about finding the kitten in the sun room, I went looking for the black kitten. We were concerned it might have crawled under something and couldn’t get out. While I was looking for it, I found something – or should I saw, someONE – else!

The missing mostly white kitten! I had seen the mother trying to lure away Eyelet last night, and was afraid they would be gone by morning, so I was relieved to see Eyelet and Grommet were still there. Now it seems the mama has brought her third baby back to the sanctuary of the sun room!

Now I just hope Poirot will join her babies in the cat cage. It’s the safest, warmest place for the babies. That forecast of 0C/32F in a couple of nights is now a forecast for -1C/30F

We shall see how things work out.

Meanwhile…

I was outside way earlier than I wanted to be, doing my morning rounds, and had intended to try and get a bit more sleep after breakfast.

It was shortly after 9 when my phone rang.

It was my mother, and she was in high dungeon.

The home care worker had shown up to do her morning med assist, but her Monday bubble pack was missing its morning pills. This is because, some time ago, my mother had gotten the extra bubble packs down from on top of her fridge and taken them herself. She didn’t follow the days, but just took from the top corner; the Monday morning position. Her extra bubble packs are now stored in the lock box. The home care workers make sure to take the meds from the correct day’s bubble, even if it ended up being in the middle of a pack – which drive my mother bonkers. End result is, now that she was almost finished her current set of bubble packs, the Monday bubble was empty, and the home care worker refused to take them from another day.

It was difficult to understand my mother, as she was in rant mode and all over the place, but from what I got out of her, there was an old bubble pack that had just one day’s meds in it, and the home care worker could have given my mother that, but it was a Friday set of pills, not a Monday. So my mother didn’t get her pills this morning, and she was really angry about it. I asked if she wanted me to come in, and she said no. She didn’t want me driving all that way.

Her refills were to be delivered today, but she said they deliver after the pharmacy is closed, so that would be after her supper time med assist.

I told my mother I would call the home care case coordinator and talk to her about the situation, then call my mother back. I actually had to hang up on my mother because she started basically shouting “stupid, stupid, stupid” over and over again when I’d already said my goodbyes and told her I would call bac soon.

When I called the home care office, the case coordinator answered after the first ring. She was obviously expecting my call!

We talked about the situation and she confirmed what I already tried to explain to my mother (and the care aid did, too). They absolutely have to go by the days and times on the bubble packs, because some people take different pills on different days. The home care aids aren’t trained on the medications themselves. They just have to follow the care plan.

Then she told me she wanted to get together with me to go over my mother’s panel for long term care. Things have changed, and the paperwork needed to reflect that. So we made an appointment for this afternoon.

I then called my mother back.

She was in a completely different mindset, and was actually pleasant on the phone.

As we were talking, I decided I needed to get her meds, rather than wait for delivery. I told her I had an appointment in her town, so I would leave early, get her meds, drop them off and go to my appointment.

Once that was arranged, there really wasn’t anything of note I could start working on in the time period before I had to leave, so I ended up leaving even earlier than needed. I got her refills, which were already in the delivery area. It ended up costing over $200 (her pills are so cheap!), so I took care of that, then headed to my mother’s. She did pay me back.

The first thing I did was confirm that her new painkiller prescription was in. She told me that, after the doctor suggested it, she started using the topical painkiller she uses on her knees, on her back. Between that and Tylenol, she’s fine. But she also complained about waking up in so much pain, she couldn’t move to even reach her painkillers, so… I’m not even going to try and figure it out.

I opened up the lock box to put her bubble packs in, which is when I found out she still had pills for the rest of today, and tomorrow morning. She started telling me how she had told the care worker to just give her the pills for tomorrow morning, and started to get all angry again.

That was much of my time with my mother today. She would go from calm and normal speech, to getting really angry about something – but was associating thing with other things that are completely disassociated!

After a while, I got a message from my daughter. The case coordinator had call the farm to let me know she was available early. So I said my goodbyes and headed out right away.

When I got there, we updated each other on what happened this morning. It turns out the care worker had called the case coordinator from my mother’s place and she could actually hear my mother start to yell at the care worker.

The sad thing is, these home care aids probably deal with much worse in other homes!

We went through the entire panel for both physical and cognitive areas. Some of the questions are hard to answer, because we’re simply not with her to hear or see her engaging in the behaviour.

Along the way, I did tell her about what our vandal has been doing, since it does affect my mother’s health.

That reminds me; apparently, the last time he spoke with her, he said she had called the police on him and wanted to put him in jail. Which she never did, but he believes it.

By the end of it, the case coordinator told me she would go through it all and sort through the information to make sure they got to the right spots. With how my mother has been behaving, it’s looking like she may have crossed the threshold they need to get her into long term care/assisted living. I do hope it works out that way, because my mother really shouldn’t be living alone. As I was getting ready to leave, my mother was again saying how much she wanted to live in the long term care home so many of her old friends, her sister and my father, lived out their last days. I told her to take whatever comes available, just to get into the system! She can get into where she wants to be, later.

All of which has been very long and mentally exhausting. I’m literally falling asleep at my keyboard as, I type this, and have been correcting some of the craziest typos, and more than a few weird sentences!!! I’m hoping to get to bed early today. Tomorrow afternoon, my daughter and I have doctor’s appointments. We’ll both have the paperwork the doctor asked us to bring in, to start the application for disability.

Which means another day of delay with the stuff I want to get done as quickly as possible!

Ah, well. Such is life, eh?

I will be calling it a night soon, though. I’ll just make one more walkabout outside to check on things, then start heading to bed.

I am so…

…so…

…so…

…tired.

The Re-Farmer

We have lost that battle! Plus garden stuff

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Well, yesterday, we finally admitted it. The battle has been lost. We’ve thrown in the towel and admitted defeat – for safety reasons, really.

Despite my best efforts, Magda kept getting out of the isolation shelter. Once, I found a sliding window open, but most of the time, I could see nothing disturbed. The only way I could see how she could be getting out was through the roof, even though it was weighted down with bricks, and there is a ceiling of rigid insulation. I couldn’t see how she could be getting out the back, where it lefts, but how could she be getting out through the front, where it’s hinged?

Now, the insulation has been slowly scratched and chewed up through the winter, so there is a big gap where the two pieces meet. The gap between the insulation and the roof panels is very narrow, but Magda is so tiny. Was it possible?

Just in case, I found some boards and more pieces of scrap insulation that I slide in between the roof panels and the insulation ceiling. There were still spaces, but they were very small.

Once inside and in the kitchen, went to open the window, which is directly above the isolation shelter. I spotted Magda at one of the gaps in the insulation, scratching at the roof panel. When she heard me tell her to stop, she disappeared below.

Off and on, I would check out the window. Nothing was happening.

Then I looked out and found a very flat Magda, squeezed between the boards, the insulation and the roof panel, like a pancake. !!!

I dashed outside but, as I came closer, she slithered her way back into the shelter, flung herself into the cat bed and stretched out, looking at me as if nothing had just happened. !!!

I found some more scrap pieces of insulation and shifted the boards I’d added around, then kept checking out the window. I didn’t see anything.

Eventually, though, something about the insulation seemed… different.

I went out to check, and there was Magda, sitting on the lawn, looking at me. She had somehow managed to pull the insulation downwards enough for her to squirm through.

At that point, I gave up. She’s supposed to be recovering from surgery, and the last thing she should be doing is squeezing through tight spaces and dropping down from a height. Since we’ve finished the ear medication, and The Grink was looking fine, too, I opened the ramp door to the isolation shelter and let them out, putting the wind breaker box over the opening again.

Even so, when I came out this morning, I found that window open again!

While I was doing my rounds this morning, I had a whole lot of cats following me, including Magda! The second photo above was taken while I was checking the garlic bed. After I got the picture, she walked under Stinky to get to the other side of him.

She is so small, she didn’t have to duck at all to go under him.

Gosh, those two look alike. Given when he was neutered and how old she is, I suppose it’s possible he’s her daddy.

The garlic, meanwhile, is looking much better now!

Their finally turned nice and green and, with the netting in place, nothing it digging them up anymore.

Yesterday was such a gorgeous evening, I was able to do a few things in the garden, though I neglected to take photos. One of them was to uncover the winter sown bed in the old kitchen garden to give it a good watering. With the plastic cover, it didn’t get even what little rain we’ve had, and the sump pump that drains at the high end of the bed has yet to go off this year, so it’s not being watered from below, either. There was enough water in the rain barrel that I could give this bed a thorough watering. Once the cover was off, I could also see that there are quite a few seedlings in there, and what appears to be a couple of onions that I missed from last year!

Once the cover was back on and the plastic secured, I started watering the bed at the chain link fence that is now covered with mesh. I came back to the rain barrel to refill, and found two cats lounging on top of the raised bed cover!

I am not impressed.

The pre-sown bed at the chain link fence, plus the one among the east yard garden beds got watered, and I was still able to refill the watering cans to leave in the portable greenhouse to warm up during the day and add to the heat sink effect during the night.

Which doesn’t actually seem to be accomplishing anything. Whenever I check the thermometer in the morning, it’s reading the same temperature as outside the greenhouse. Still way to cold to be able to move our seedling trays into there!

In checking the other areas, I did some clearing around the walking onions. There are quite a few of them coming up right now. Unfortunately, so is the crab grass, only some of which could be pulled out for now. I check on the fenced off area where the tulips are and there are a lot more leaves showing now. Even the saffron crocuses look like there are more of them. While they never reached the point of blooming before they got choked out by weeds, clearly the corms have expanded.

After I finished my rounds this morning, I grabbed the turkey dinners I put together for my mother and headed out. I left early enough to swing past the grocery store to see if it was open today. It was, so I popped in to pick up a few things I knew my mother was running low on. I also picked up some instant oatmeal for her to try, since she’s having a harder time standing long enough to cook herself breakfast. I figured instant oatmeal would be better than boxed cereal. I got a package with three different flavours for her to try out. When I got to her place and was putting things away, I opened the box to read the instructions – she would have great difficulty reading them herself. Each flavour called for a different amount of water. Oops. Ah, well. I explained the instructions to her as best I could.

While today was just a day to visit, I of course did a little jobs for her, including bagging up her recycling. I noticed bean cans in there, which was something I’d got for her to try before, so I asked how she liked them. She was very enthusiastic in her response, so canned baked beans are now on the list of heat and eat things for her! 😁 Until now, she’d just been getting canned soups.

With the few things I picked up for her today, plus the dinners, plus her three days a week of Meals on Wheels, it turns out my mother isn’t going to need an actual grocery shopping trip for a while. It was, for the most part, a good visit. It wasn’t until the very end, when it was getting time for me to leave anyhow, that she started going off on a tangent. One was about how surprised she was that my brother didn’t phone her for Easter. I pointed out, he came over to visit her because they were going to be out of province this weekend, to spend time with the grandbabies. “Oh, two weeks ago”, she scoffed. Except it wasn’t; it was last weekend, and he spent a long time with her going over her financial stuff, as he regularly does, along with bringing her stuff for her basket and an Easter card.

Then she started going on about my daughters, and how terrible I am for keeping them “tied” to me (she doesn’t get that they actually chose to move out here to help maintain this place) and even back to ranting about how they “know nothing” because we homeschooled. She doesn’t know the girls at all, has made no effort to get to know them (she has only ever wanted to control them and get them to perform for her), but assumes she knows everything about them and about our life in general. Basically, making scenarios up in her mind and assuming they are true, then blaming all the bad stuff on my making parenting choices she didn’t approve of. It’s been decades, and she still does it! I swear, in her mind, the girls are still 10 yrs old or something.

It was definitely time to leave.

By the time I got home, it was getting close to when I would normally go out for my evening rounds, so I was soon back outside to enjoy the gorgeous weather we’ve been having. According to my weather app, we’ve been raining all day, but it was bright sunshine and warm temperatures. After feeding the cats – and playing with the kittens a bit – I ended up taking some April garden tour video. It’s been a month since the last ones I took, so I figured it was about time. I’ll be checking those soon and seeing if I need to do it again or not! 😄

Tomorrow is supposed to be quite a bit colder, with a mix of rain and snow starting in the afternoon. On a day when I have no outings planned and want to get work done outside, of course. 😁 We’ll see how things actually turn out. Some jobs I want to start require power tools and extension cords, so if we’ve got rain or snow, those will wait a bit longer. There is always something that can be worked on, though. I actually have a whole week ahead of me, with no scheduled outings until our first city stock up trip! What a remarkable thing! I might actually get some real work done outside! Gosh, that would be nice!

We shall see!

The Re-Farmer

Yeah, we got snow today

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The forecast was possible rain and snow during the night.

It was snowing when I head out to do my morning rounds, and kept snowing, of and on, throughout the day!

Not enough to bother the yard cats too much, though.

The first two images above are from a poplar branch. I don’t think I ever noticed before that they get catkins like pussy willows do! So we have signs of spring, even as winter is trying to hang on as long as possible!

The last photo is the covered bed in the old kitchen garden. As I was out there, it was about -1C/30F. In both the covered bed and the portable greenhouse, the thermometers were reading about 0C/32F Not much difference – even in the portable greenhouse, after adding the water filled garbage can as a heat sink. I don’t think the water has in there long enough to get completely warmed up, yet.

On the schedule for today was to head to my mother’s to take her to her doctor’s appointment in the early afternoon. I still had plenty of time, as I was sitting down with my breakfast after doing my morning rounds.

Then the phone rang.

It was home care.

No one was available to do my mother’s morning meds. She’s scheduled to get them done, along with extra time to help her get dressed, if she needs it, empty her commode or even heat something up for her breakfast, at 8:55

It was almost 8:30 when I got the call.

*sigh*

So I quickly called my mom to let her know that I would be heading over as soon as I finished breakfast. My mother kept trying to keep me on the phone as she complained about my having to come out for this and I kept having to cut her off and repeat that I needed to eat and run, and we could talk when I got there. After the third or fourth time, she finally let me go! 😄

When the home care aids do her med assist, they have a folder that’s kept in her lock box where they sign off for the day’s visit and make extra notes, if needed. So when I do the med assist instead, I write up the time and date, saying that I did her meds, and include any other notes that might be necessary. So I knew what time I got there to give her her meds. It was exactly 9:15 by her clock, so only about 20 minutes late.

What I noticed as I was getting her meds out was a bubble in her pack that should have been empty, but wasn’t. Her previous Friday morning pills were still there. So I asked her about it.

She told me that she had taken her meds herself, from one of the extra bubble packs on her fridge, that morning.

!!!!

I was sure I’d pushed them far enough back that she couldn’t reach them! I don’t know how she got them down!

I told her, that was NOT a good thing to do. Apparently, the home care aid agreed, because my mom told me she put the rest of the packs into the lock box. Between the bubble packs, their folder, the blood work requisition forms, and other items in there, having an entire month’s worth of packs in there is tight, even with a lock box as large as this one. That’s why I hadn’t put them all in there myself, when I brought her refills home.

*sigh*

After giving her her meds, I did a few other little things for her, like emptying the commode and taking care of her garbage. My brother had recently visited her and brought a few grocery items she’s always running out of, but when we spoke on the phone last night, I told her to see if she needed anything else and to make a list. She did need a few things, and we still had plenty of time, so we went over the list and then I did her grocery shopping for her.

After that was done, we still had time to visit.

If you could call it that.

She spent a whole lot of time criticizing me for not being dressed “presentable” enough (while I was there, I accidentally tore my jeans), and for having messy hair (my hair was braided and I had hat head), and I should have short hair like she does. In the past, these are criticisms that would have caused me to have all sorts of issues, but I am well past that point in my life now. I call her out on this stuff, now. She doesn’t really get it. She feels completely entitled to say stuff like to about and to, anyone and everyone. Even complete strangers! Then starts going on about how people who aren’t “presentable” are uncivilized, etc.

She totally doesn’t get the double standard and hypocrisy she’s displaying!

Then she brought up the Easter baskets; I’d picked up a paska at the grocery store for her own basket. She remembered that we do Easter baskets, too, and bless them ourselves. She suggested that I bring our basket to her place on the Saturday before Easter, then she and I could go across the street to her church to have them blessed together.

I told her, the last time I brought our Easter basket to be blessed with her, she gave me a hard time about having a bad basket.

Oh, she said. That’s because it was so huge. Would you like me to give you an Easter basket?

I told her, we have all kinds of baskets of all sizes.

She told me I should just bring a small one. Just a little one…

I told her, our basket is the right size for our family.

Now, part of the reason for the size of basket we use is that we spread everything out so nothing is completely buried, rather than jamming everything on top of everything else. We also do things like have our ham on a small plate, have oil (we’ll be having truffle infused olive oil this year) and vinegar in little jars, salt in one of the many pinch pots I collect, a bowl with olives, another with butter, etc. The containers take up a fair bit of space. Plus, of course, we like to lay it out to make a pretty display. So there is actually not a particularly huge amount in the basket. But, it’s the size of the basket that bothers my mother, and people will think bad things if they see such a big basket getting blessed in church…

Never mind that I’ve seen people bring in even bigger baskets than any of ours to be blessed!

Anyhow, when she kept going on about how we should have a small basket like hers, I told her, THAT is why we don’t bring the basket in for blessing with her. She then started saying that maybe I could have a less hard heart, just for her…

…

I pointed out, she is the one that has the hard heart with this! She totally does not understand that she is the biggest reason we don’t go to church right now. We’ve tried going to some of the local churches, including the RC Church I grew up going to, and I was saddened to see how … wordly… they had become. My mother’s church is the only one that seems to remain true, so even though I’m Orthodox Lutheran now, the RC church by her place is the one church I would be going to.

Just not with my mother. I did try to, and she made it quite clear that she did not think I was good enough. I don’t put up with that.

I so miss the church we went to before moving out here!

But I digress!

My mother ended up wanting us to leave even earlier than I’d planned. That did give me time to stop at a gas station, and at a post office in the town my mother’s appointment was in (she believes the staff at her local post office steals her mail. Especially her mail to Poland). We still got there an hour early.

I did have some issues with my mother trying to drive from the passenger seat! Like telling me which way I could go to leave a parking spot and not understanding why I wasn’t driving, when I hadn’t even finished putting on my seatbelt yet. The direction she was telling me I should drive would have had me popping a curb and driving over concrete. Or insisting I undo her seatbelt for her, while I was backing up into the loading zone at her place, so I could have the space to help her out of the truck. It’s been a long time since she’s done stuff like this.

As for the appointment, it did go well, overall. She did dive into something completely new – though she says it’s been an issue for at least a year (???) – before we finally got to talking about her hospital stay and the results of her last two blood tests to monitor her kidney function.

Her kidneys are fine.

My mother was written up for some X-rays, which we could do right after the appointment, and some blood work, which required fasting, so that will have to wait. Since we’ll be doing her next kidney monitoring bloodwork in the first week of May, it can actually wait until then and she can do both in one trip.

While all this was going on, I got a message from my husband. The tax preparer had called and our files were ready to pick up. So, once I got my mother home and her new lab requisition form tucked into the lock box with the monthly ones, I had to dash off. From my mother’s place, it was about a 450 minute drive to get to the tax preparer’s office in the town North of us. After signing what I had to sign and paying for the job, I had to grab the form my husband needed to sign, drive home, get him to sign it, and drive back again! We could actually have brought it back another day, but I wanted to just get it done.

On the plus side, by the time I got home, the snow had stopped (when we were driving to my mother’s appointment, we drove into much heavier snow) and was even all melted away. Which is fine. A little more moisture is not a bad thing. We’re not getting anything close to the spring flooding we’ve had in the past. The old basement floor is completely dry, and the sump pump hasn’t gone off even once. Which means we could actually do with more moisture! It’s getting into fire season.

As I was driving home with the form for my husband to sign, I could see smoke to the west of our place. I figured someone was doing a controlled burn, though it was a windy day for it.

When I was driving home later on, on the last few miles of gravel road, I found myself behind a fire truck with its lights flashing. Maybe half a mile from our turn off, I saw more flashing lights behind me, and pulled over for the second fire truck to go by. Both continued on past our turn off. I could no longer see smoke, but somewhere near by is a fire big enough to require at least two trucks! (There could have been more that went by before I was there to see them.) There’s nothing on the live fire maps, though, so it isn’t a forest or wild fire.

Something to be aware of, with everything drying up so quickly.

Anyhow.

Today ended up having a lot more going on than expected. For now, I’ve got some cat carriers to prep and in the morning, we need to try and snag 3 pregnant females for the vet.

Wish us luck!

The Re-Farmer

They’re open!

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While doing my morning rounds, I found that Brussel had left her babies and gone outside. This gave me a chance to take a peak at them before she returned, and I gave her her wet cat food treat.

The babies are a lot more mobile now, and their eyes are now open!

You can see the calico’s eyes in the first image, and the black and white kitten can be seen blinking in the video at the end.

I went to my mother’s today and was gone long enough that it was time to feed them again when I got home. I started that before even going inside, and asked my daughter to bring a jug of warm water for them. I was coming back into the sun room when she warned me about the stinky kitty!

She says this little guy had been hiding under that shelf all day!

This is the little one I’m not sure what to make of. He seems… lost, somehow. He’s quite a bit smaller than the couple of others that I’ve been seeing. He and the cats don’t seem to mind each other. I’ve sort of given up trying to chase him out, since he just goes under that shelf instead of out the door. The others will leave the sun room when I go to chase them out, sometimes even just by telling them to leave through the intercom on the critter cam, but not this little guy.

That crunching noise they make when they eat the kibble is very distinctive!

Anyhow…

Today has turned out to be a lovely day. Which was appreciated since my mother had to actually go with me for some of her errands. I’d made a point of eating breakfast before I left, since I wasn’t planning to eat at her place with my current Lent restrictions. I have given up sugar, but my mother gives up meat on Fridays. She did ask me to pick up some wedges for her, forgetting that she got her Meals on Wheels today. They tend to have fish on Fridays in general; today, it was a tuna sandwich for the main protein portion. She had enjoyed most of her wedges before it got delivered, so she just ate the soup and saved the rest for later.

This time, I remembered to take her blood pressure, though I had to ask her where she’d put the machine. It should be left on the table, tucked away behind her telephone’s base, next to the lock box, but she decides it takes up too much space, and hides it. This time, it was in the linen closet.

As she was eating her wedges, I went into the lock box to get her lab requisition paperwork for this month. The printouts had ended up on the bottom of her lock box and I had to really did to get them out.

Which is why I found the pill.

One of her medications – a pill she takes once in the morning, and again, just before bed – was loose on the bottom of the box. I checked her bubble packs in there to see which medication it was. There is no way to know how long it’s been in there. Even before we got the lock box, the home care aids are supposed to empty the bubble pack capsule for the time of day into a tiny bowl with a lid I’d given my mother, specifically for this. When she first started getting med assists, there were a couple of times when a pill was almost lost, just on her table, and another was found on the floor when she was sleeping. That’s why I brought the tiny bowl. It’s a sauce bowl made to look like a miniature tagine, so it has a conical lid. I ended up putting the found pill into the bowl, along with a note for the next home care aid. The pill would need to be thrown out, but they need to know that this happened, even if we have no idea when. Their job is to make sure my mother takes her meds properly. For them to start losing pills and not even notice is a problem!

My mother had other things she needed help with today, and I was able to get some things done before we left for our first stop, the lab at the nearby hospital (that doesn’t really have any doctors!). I had my own requisition forms from my doctor, which I’d left in the truck, yesterday. Which was an oops. It turns out my blook work required fasting. I was able to get my EKG done, though.

From there, we went to her bank for some cash, then to the pharmacy to get her bubble packs. They were going to be delivered later in the day, but she wasn’t sure if there would be money owing on it or not. It turned out there was; the fiscal year for her pharmacare deductible has flipped. She had stayed in the truck, so when I came back to tell her house much it would be, she was surprised and said she’d never paid that much before. Which just means she doesn’t remember, since it would have been a year since she’s had to pay. I explained it a bit, as she thought that getting charged for her meds was some random thing. She would not have understood what a deductible is, but she did understand that she’d have charges every April.

Not that she’ll remember, next April! Hopefully, by then, she’ll be in the supportive living situation she wants to be in.

After that, my mother was ready to go home. Once I got her inside and settled in, I got a couple of loads of laundry started for her, then headed to the grocery store with her shopping list. It turned out to be timed perfectly. By the time I got back, her wash was ready to be loaded into the driers.

I had to make a few substitutions on her shopping list this time, and I always go through everything with her while I put things away. I even made sure to open the milk carton for her. Her local grocery store only carries the 2L cardboard cartons now, instead of the plastic jugs. They can be difficult to open at the best of times. The last time I opened one for her, I had to use a knife to separate the carboard! This time, it opened properly, but my mother still would have had a hard time with it.

While waiting for her laundry, I had time to do some more housekeeping stuff for her.

Which is when we talked about a gift bag that was set aside when I first arrived.

From our vandal.

It turns out he had come over this morning, not long before I got there. She had told him I was coming and he apparently completely lost it and started saying some really horrible things about me. My mother didn’t want to repeat what he said, but confirmed that it was “the usual”. She said she told him that his hate is why he’s so sick now. He won’t let her talk, though. If she tries to stand her ground and respond to what he says, he just leaves.

The bag turned out to have a small head of cabbage, a couple of onions, and a jar of soup wrapped in paper towel to insulate it.

My mother has told him repeatedly, not to bring her soup. She says the terrible things he says and does makes it taste bad.

There was also an envelope, with written instructions that what was inside was only for her to read.

Which, of course, is the last thing she should actually do.

I ended up opening the envelop for her, then handed it to her to do as she wanted. There were some copies of a photo of our vandal in there, clearly taken while he was at the hospital, though not in a hospital bed. Then she started trying to read the letter, out loud.

After a while of her struggling to read it, I offered to read it to her.

Once I saw it, I could see why she was struggling! It wasn’t just because English is not her first language, or her eye sight. It wasn’t even because his writing was messy; in fact, it was somewhat more legible than usual. Just looking at the shakiness of the writing, he clearly is having a hard time controlling the mobility of his hands. No, it was the content and some of the very strange spellings of things. He had some terrible things to say about me, of course. According to him, I’m to blame for his cancer – and his doctor and counsellor agree, 100%. He also claimed I told my mother the soup from him is poison. ???!!!??? Plus a few other things that had us wondering where his mind is at, because they were complete inventions.

We talked about him for a while. Thankfully, my mother was able to handle the contents of the letter better than in the past, and she didn’t try to defend or make excuses for him.

Then I put everything back in the envelope, set it aside, and we moved on to other things.

All in all, even with the issue of our vandal, it turned out to be a really good visit. My mother was in good spirits, even if she was clearly really struggling to move around her apartment. The visit went well, the laundry and housework got done, and my mother is now well stocked with groceries and her medications.

Just before I left, my mother checked the time and realized that I was there for five hours! We got lots taken care of in that time.

It actually felt like I wasn’t gone that long, because it was still so bright out by the time I headed home. I am just loving these longer days!

It’s going to be extra nice once the snow is gone, and we can start getting work done in the garden!

Which I sort of started this morning.

Which I will share about in my next post!

The Re-Farmer

They’re in, and holy smokes!

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First, the more fun stuff. I hit the post office on the way home and found more packages than I was expecting, including – finally! – the new clamp lamps I’d ordered. They were shipped by CanPar and the address we had to use was for the store the post office is in, because the system wouldn’t accept anything else. The benefit of living in such a tiny community. The postal staff knew exactly who it was for and there was a parcel slip in our mail box.

The first photo is everything outside the box. The second is assembled. These lamps are suitable for up to 250W bulbs, so we shouldn’t have the damaged bulb that we got with the heat bulb in the sun room. That lamp now has a 150W ceramic heat bulb in it.

The ceramic bulbs I’ve installed in the lamps are 200W, and they are ready to go. I can put one up somewhere in the sun room, without having to remove the one that’s already there, but I may want to move the one that’s already there and have the warmer bulb in that spot.

The lamp in the isolation shelter will take more doing, as the current lamp needs to be removed completely. We’ll need to open up the roof, remove the rigid insulation “ceiling”, then get the lamp out. The cord is wrapped around the support it’s hanging off of, to keep it out of cat reach. I’m hoping to get that done in the next couple of days, when it’s supposed to be warmer, so that it’ll be ready when it gets colder again.

In other things, today was my day to do my mother’s errands. I had asked her if she wanted me to pick up lunch and she ended up saying to just get food for myself, she would eat what she had.

Of course, I wasn’t going to do that.

I got to town early enough to pick something up before going to her place, but nothing was open until 11am, which is when she was expecting me. I was able to run another errand before parking and waiting the last few minutes before the restaurant I’d decided on, opened. While waiting, I called my mother to tell her I would be there closer to 11:30. She told me she was reheating some potatoes to go with lunch, and I told her, I’m bringing lunch. She doesn’t need to.

She was quite okay with that, and even joked about how spoiled she’s getting with not having to cook!

Soon, I was placing our orders, which were ready faster than I expected for them just opening, then made a quick stop at the grocery store for drinks.

When I got to her place and knocked at the door, there was no answer, but I knew she was home so I started walking in. She was in the bathroom and couldn’t hear me, which was pretty much what I expected.

What I didn’t expect was the strong smell of smoke.

While setting getting the food and drinks onto the table and getting plates, I found the source.

The potatoes my mother said she was cooking had burned. She’d salvaged them, and the carrots she was reheating with them, by scraping the burnt bits into the sink, and the rest were in a bowl on her counter. The burnt bitts were REALLY heavily charred. The frying pan she’d been using was also in the sink, soaking – and totally black!

When my mother came out and saw where I was in the kitchen, she told me about burning them. She said there’s something wrong with the element she was using, in that it stays on high, even when turned down to low.

…

Which may be true. However, this stove was installed brand new, after she moved into this apartment from the one she’d been in when she first moved into the building. She has never said anything about the element being like this before. She’s also never burned anything like this before!

I didn’t say much about it, though while we were eating, I was looking around for a fire extinguisher. Being a public housing building, I would have expected one and asked. She didn’t know what I was talking about at first, so I described what it would look like to her, and she said no, she had nothing like that. Granted, she wouldn’t have been able to figure out how to use one, but it would have been good to have one if an actual fire broke out, so someone else would have it available to use.

While talking about fire extinguishers and alarms, she pointed to the spot on the wall where her CO monitor that my brother got her, used to be. When we set up her place before taking her home from the hospital, my brother checked it and found it had no batteries. We had some issues getting fresh batteries into it and being able to close up the back. There were too many other things that needed to be done, so we took the batteries back out again, and my brother took it home with him to check on later.

My mother’s comment was that she had been “fooled” by it. It had started beeping, but she should the sound was coming from the fire detector on the ceiling, which is also a CO monitor. She’s called public housing and they send someone over. The fire detector was working fine, and the beeping was traced to the CO monitor on the wall.

Long story short, they took the batteries out so the beeping would stop.

…

So not only did my mother think this was some sort of “trick”, but apparently, she thought they were smoke detectors.

I tried to explain to her how dangerous CO poisoning could be, but she preferred to think my brother was somehow messing with her, instead.

*sigh*

I dropped it for now.

Once we were done lunch, we went over her shopping list, which included a trip to the pharmacy for some items this time, and I was soon off. When I got to the truck, though, I took the time to message my family about the things that happened at my mom’s. The burnt food is something home care had told us to watch out for, as it becomes a safety issue. While driving to the pharmacy, I remembered I had the home care coordinator’s business card in my phone case, so I called her when I parked and left a message about it.

Oh, there was another issue I’d tried asking my mother about, and that was getting a Life Line. She’d talked to the woman from the Senior’s Centre; they are the ones that arrange this. Unfortunately, she was confused about the 2 versions of it she can get and wasn’t sure which one to choose. More on that later.

The items my mother had on her list for the pharmacy were easy to find, so I was soon done there and moved on to the grocery store. I was able to get everything on her list, with no substitutions, which was nice.

Today is Tuesday, which is when the common room of her building is used for group low impact exercises, arranged with the local senior’s centre, and people from other buildings come over for it, too. When I got back, they were already starting to gather, so I went around. I had told my mother to go ahead and join them and I could put things away for her, but she was still in her apartment when I got there.

After putting things away, my mother started talking about her bubble packs. It took a while to figure out what she was getting at, and then I had to open up the lock box to be sure, but my mother’s meds were completely out. She said they were going to be delivered, but then didn’t seem sure that they would actually be delivered – and was asking me if I’d picked them up while at the pharmacy! I had no idea about, and she was starting to get so upset, I told her I would just go back to the pharmacy and get them.

It’s a good thing I did.

The prescriptions were prepared for delivery later, so the pharmacist was surprised to see me, but since I was there, she brought out the annual form they need signed to continue doing my mother’s medications in bubble packs. Since they know I have my mother’s permission with this stuff, I was able to sign it on her behalf. My mother would have been very confused by getting that form!

This time, when I got back to her building, my mother was in the common room with the others. So I took care of putting things away, then doing some light house keeping. I hadn’t tested her blood pressure earlier, and it was while I was sweeping that I’d found the box with the machine in it.

My mother had hidden it under her table.

So, no testing her BP this visit! I did put it back on the table, though.

After I finished cleaning up and putting things away, I started heading out. My mother was in behind a table with someone next to her, so I was going to skirt around the group as quietly as possible to give her a hug and a kiss goodbye, but enough people recognized me and started saying hi that I just laughed and said I was going to interrupt, when right through the circle of people to get around to my mother and gave her hugs and kisses. They got a good laugh out of that!

Later on, my mother phoned me and thanked me for that. Apparently, doing this was “good for my reputation”. ??? She explained that the group talks about all sorts of things, and one regular subject is about how many of the seniors are either largely forgotten by their adult children, or treated badly by them. I got the impression my mother hear a lot of positive comments after I left. Which made her happy, so that makes me happy.

She also told me she’s talked to the woman from the Senior’s Center again about the Life Line, and she will be coming by to my mother’s tomorrow to start the paperwork for it. I told my mother that, if necessary, I expect to be home all day, so she can call me if she feels the need.

Meanwhile, I updated my siblings about how things went, including about the CO monitor. My brother soon responded. He found out what was going on. Once he was able to get the batteries in, it started to beep. A double beep every 30 seconds. The display screen also said “end”.

On the back of the monitor, it explained that the monitor needs to be replaced every 10 years and, as a reminder, it would start to double beep every 30 seconds and display the word “end”.

You’d think the public housing guys that maintain CO monitors would have caught on to that.

Or maybe they did, but my mother didn’t understand what they were saying to her.

I feel better about that, at least!

Not so about the burned food. My mother is always super cautious about that sort of thing, so it was *really* unusual for her to not just burn food, but burn it so badly.

As alarming as that is, this may turn out to be a blessing in disguise. My mother really wants to be in long term care. She is aware of how much she is physically failing, and she at least somewhat recognizes her own cognitive decline and it, understandably, scares her. I really hope this is what gets her into the care she needs!

Total change of subject.

I got a call from the Cat Lady while I was working on this. She had sent me some security camera images. The property they moved on to about a year and a half ago, backs up against a national park, where lots of people walk their dogs. Six off leash dogs suddenly showed up on their deck, just minutes after their youngest daughter had been out there with Button. Button is completely blind and deaf now, and their youngest daughter makes a point of going out there with him in a harness to get some fresh air when she comes home from school for lunch.

Her husband had chased the dogs off and they confronted the owner, who said outright she didn’t care. Even when they told her their daughter had been on the deck with a blind and deaf cat, the response was, that cat would have been eaten. !!! When they confronted her on that, her response was, I don’t care, I hate cats. !!!! She also called the Cat Lady rude names, and her very butch partner started looking ready to be violent.

They called the RCMP on them. This is not an off leash park, for starters, and they are on something like 10 acres, so that’s quite a distance for the dogs to be running around away from their owners. People that irresponsible with their animals should not have any, let alone 6 big dogs! I just can’t imagine knowing your animals are prone to violence, and not caring if the kill another animal or possibly hurt a child.

They were so relieved their daughter and Button had already gone inside, that’s for sure!

Which lead to an update on Button. His sight had been going for a while now, and then it was just gone. The vet thinks it was a viral infection, in utero. Any other kittens in the litter and the mother likely died, and they really don’t know how Button survived. It has effected his development in many ways. The Cat Lady tells me, they don’t care. They adore him. Even their dog adores him. He is in almost constant contact with a human, and they even take him out for coffee and other outings. And to think, he was supposed to be adopted by someone else entirely, who ended up backing out and adopting another cat, when his vet care kept getting longer and longer!

Meanwhile, she will be looking into booking a couple more neuters for us. I mentioned we might be able to get a female, now that Adam actually comes up to us for pets, so she will see what they can arrange. I told her, whatever they can manage, we’ll happily take. Beggars can’t be choosers! We’ve got so many friendly males, but we really need to get the females done.

She will get back to us when she has more information.

What a day she had, though! I appreciate that, in the middle of all this, she still thinks of us and of how her rescue can help us.

She is so awesome.

The Re-Farmer

A quick update

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My brain is feeling fried, so not much to say this time.

While heading to my mother’s for the meeting with home care, I noticed the trip meter on the truck was already at almost 450km. It’s only March 4, and I reset it when I filled the tank at Costco on Feb. 28. Just over 100km of that was the trip home. The rest was the first three days of March.

If I keep getting so many calls to cover med assists like in the past couple of weeks, this is going to be a very expensive month on gas!

I got to my mother’s early, in case she needed help with getting dressed or anything like that. She was already dressed and ready. She and I are alike in one thing: if we have some sort of appointment, we can’t sleep the night before.

Yeah, I’m didn’t get much sleep last night, either.

We got to talking and my mother quickly launched into an attack on my brother. She started accusing him of keeping secrets from her again, and said a few strange things. One was how he “brags” about his technology (he doesn’t brag. Even the slightest attempt to talk about his work is so far beyond her ability to understand, he avoids talking about his job at all). Then she said, she doesn’t want his technology, but his kindness.

No one has been kinder to my mother than him. No one has done more for her than him. He has covered her butt for decades. But because he doesn’t tell her all his personal stuff, and doesn’t always agree with her, doesn’t allow her to treat him like her personal slave, that means he’s not kind to her – then she suddenly started saying that it’s his wife that controls everything. !!!!

There was one thing she said that actually confirmed something we’ve suspected for some time now. A matter of phrasing, really.

She is getting my brother mixed up with my dad.

He looks more and more like my dad as he gets older. My mother and my dad were always butting heads. A very dysfunctional relationship. We’ve noted that she’s treating my brother like she used to treat my dad. Today, she actually started talking about him as if he was my dad.

Then there was a knock at the door, and the case coordinator arrived.

We talked for while about all sorts of things. They’ve not been able to find exactly what happened with the morning no-shows. The best they could come up with is that there was confusion and lack of communication because a previous shift scheduler has been away for the past month, and there is come chaos with the people filling in for her.

I tested my mother’s BP so she could see how my mother has to move around when just shifting from chair to chair, so I could access her left arm. My mother and I had already decided that, at the end of the meeting, I would take her to do her blood work, so the case coordinator could observe how my mother gets into the truck, and moves around in general.

In the end, it looks like my mother will start getting some meal assists – all they can do is things like make her a sandwich, or reheat leftovers. My mother was indeed already scheduled for longer time in the mornings, for assistance in dressing and emptying her commode, but it hasn’t been happening, so that will be looked into. I don’t think my mother is in “bad” enough condition for her to actually get considered more urgently to get her into supportive living or long term care. Which is so very frustrating.

After the meeting was done, I got my mother to the lab in the local hospital with no doctors, just a few blocks from my mother’s place, for her blood work. Only one vial was needed, and no one else was there to get done, so it was really fast. Just that outing wore her out, though, and she was glad to be home. It was just coming up on lunch time, so I got some food together for her before I left.

And that was pretty much it. I had actually intended to go for a nap, I’m so tired, but after I had my own lunch, it just didn’t make sense to try and nap, or I’d screw up my own night. So I’m basically just dragging my butt through the day until it’s a reasonable hour to go to bed.

I need sleeeeeeepppp.

Thankfully, I don’t have any appointments tomorrow, so I should be able to have a recovery day. Unless I get another call from home care to cover my mother’s meds again! Then I have the appointment at the garage for the truck to do a whole bunch of relatively small things before they become big things, along with replacing the oil sensor. Which means a few hours in town, while it’s being worked on. I should have several parcels to pick up by then. Two are already in and waiting. One is something I finally broke down and ordered; a clear acrylic guard for my keyboard, to keep the cats from walking on it and digging under it! Ghosty in particular is truly dedicated to waiting until I’m in bed, then digging under my keyboard. She’s even knocked it right off my computer table at times! That and many is the time I’ve gone back to my computer and discovered all sorts of strange things have been opened, some of which I have no idea which keys got stepped on to find!

Anyhow.

Time to move on to things that don’t require much thought processing. Like laundry!

The Re-Farmer

Good, yet not good

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Well, I’m back from going to my mom’s for her med assist. I’m glad I went, in one sense, and wishing I hadn’t had to in another.

It wasn’t just my mother.

After I’d called my mom to let her know I’d be coming over to do her evening med assist, I had time to get a few things done. It was absolutely gorgeous out today, with temperatures just above freezing. I fed the outside cats early and took the time to check on the flexible hose on the emergency septic diverter. The black plastic had warmed up enough that I was able to get quite a bit of the thawing ice chunks out. It wasn’t in any danger of getting blocked by ice, but I still wanted to get as much out as I could.

While I was outside, my mother called back and left a message, asking if I could pick up some milk and croissants along the way. Since my sister introduced her to croissants, not that long ago, it has become her favorite thing to have with tea!

Which just meant leaving a little bit earlier.

The first problem was actually at home. We’re all pretty unhappy about how often homecare hasn’t been able to do my mother’s med assist, just in the short time since she got out of the hospital. My siblings have expressed their dissatisfaction, but they have also expressed their gratitude that I’ve been able to take care of it. It would be a lot more difficult for them to do it! My husband, however… well, along with his physical disability, he also has military related PTSD. With him, it was more anger, and he started taking his frustrations out on me. Which I don’t put up with.

We are not a couple that has arguments, as others do. We don’t raise our voices at each other, or anything like that. But when we disagree on things, and my husband recognizes that he is starting to get a PTSD rage response, he has medications and coping techniques to deal with them, which is what he resorted to.

I’ll just leave it at that.

When I headed out, my first stop was at the grocery store to get the stuff for my mother and, since I was there, to pick up more of the deli meats for ourselves that this store has at better prices than anywhere else I’ve seen. Then I went to the gas station to top up the truck and pick up my mother’s favorite fried chicken and wedges. I wasn’t sure if my mother would have had her supper yet, but I wanted to make sure she had something available so she wasn’t taking her meds on an empty stomach.

I’m glad I did. It looks like she was just going to heat up a can of cream of mushroom soup for her supper, and was out of milk to make it with.

After putting away her things, we sat down for our supper.

My mother was just looking for things to rage at today.

The first was about my having to drive soooooo far, just to give her her pills. The doctor wouldn’t want that! I told her, the doctor doesn’t care. He just cares that she gets her medications. Then she raged that she should can take her medications herself. I side tracked that. She started saying that home care should just come once a day, and leave her medications for the rest of the day ready for her. I told her, they can’t do that. They have very strict regulations they have to follow these days. They can’t even take pills out of the bottles, but only out of bubble packs.

Oh, you’re always taking their side, she says.

Then it came up about my brother visiting her yesterday, after having gone to the farm, first. I mentioned I had been out and missed them entirely, and that he’d just gone to tend to their truck, as a way of saying he was at the farm for a very short time.

Which my mother latched onto. She’d forgotten that they’d sold their property and everything was at the farm now. We weren’t talking about it, because if she remembered, she would end up telling our vandal about it, and that’s the last thing we need.

Well, I won’t get into how it went with that, but she went into another rage against my brother and started to literally invent scenarios in her head about how he was “keeping secrets” from her, among other far less pleasant things. It took some doing to calm her down and distract her.

All before we even finished eating our meal.

Once we were done eating and got her table clear, I got her supper meds out for her to take, while I made notes for the next home care person to see, then prepared her before bed medications and puffer, before putting everything else back into the lock box. Then I got her blood pressure machine, which she had hidden away in a closet, and tested her.

After that, I started changing her garbage and doing some clean up, when she asked me to do her water bottles. She fills various bottles of water she uses for drinking and cooking from a tap in the laundry room that has softened water, and they were all empty. So I took care of that, then washed her dishes, before getting ready to head home.

As I was getting my jacket on, I reminded her again to take her last meds between 8 and 9pm, when she told me she’d already taken her puffer.

…

What? When???

It turns out that, while I was filling her water bottles, she decided to take her inhaler dose.

This is not the first time she tried to do this with me. During one of the past evenings I’d gotten her evening meds ready, she suddenly decided she should take her puffer dose right way. I stopped her and said to take it with her before-bed medications. This is supposed to help her with her breathing at night (I don’t think it’s actually making a difference, but it’s a trial). It’s not going to help her much if she takes it too early.

When I found out she’d taken it, I told her all the same things again. She seemed surprised by it. I have no idea why she gets it in her head to take it so early. She takes a puff twice a day. With her morning meds then, about 12 hours later, with her before bed meds.

Thankfully, doing this won’t harm her, but if she can’t be relied on to wait 3 hours before taking her before bed medication, I may have to stop getting them ready for her on nights like tonight, when home care is short staffed for both evening med assists. I will have to go home, then come back 3 or 4 hours later.

She’s already losing it over the fact that I’m coming at all. If I start having to come in twice in one evening, I don’t know how she would handle it. She certainly would think that her own actions have anything to do with it, but it does add another layer of concern.

Thankfully, we’ve got a meeting with the home care case coordinator in a couple of days. I should give her a call tomorrow, just to let her know about my mother’s behaviour, as it’s not something I could tell her about, with my mother there. As concerning as it is, perhaps this is one more thing that will get my mother into long term care, as she has been wanting for months now.

I didn’t stay too much longer after that. Thankfully, the days are longer now, so it was still light out during the drive home, and I could actually see the deer, well in advance!

Once home, my priority was to update my siblings – and apologize to my brother and his wife. My simple comment about him coming out to the farm and why set her off, and now she’s going to be even worse towards him because of it. My mother keeps saying how she loves all us siblings equally, but her actions belie her words. The twisted hatred she has developed towards my brother has been getting so much worse. It bothered me less when it was directed at me, the first couple of years we were living here, than it does now that it’s directed at my brother. No one has done more to help her and take care of things for her than he has, for so many years. He deserves so much better than this!

*sigh*

So, on the one hand, I’m really glad I ended up going to my mother’s, today, as she ended up needing help with other things as well.

On the other hand…

*sigh*

It is what it is, and there is little we can do about it but, my goodness, it shouldn’t be this way!

The Re-Farmer

One more day?

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Another day, where I wish I had the life of our cats.

Well, maybe not Butterscotch. She is frequently a ball of stress and anxiety. Before getting the above photo, I had lured the cats out of my room by loudly topping up kibble bowls in the dining room. Once I got all the cats, except our elderly Freya, out of my room, I could close the door. This gives time for Butterscotch to emerge from her corner to eat, drink and use the litter box. Last night, Butterscotch was looking distressed while various cats were at her food and water bowls on my craft table (which I can’t use as a craft table anymore), so I got the girls to be noisy about topping up the kibble bowls. As soon as the other cats started making their way for the door, poor Butterscotch RAN for the one litter box, hidden under my computer table, that she will use.

This morning, after luring the other cats out of the room and closing the door, I tried getting a bit more sleep. I had a very rough night last night, with many interruptions of various kinds. Usually, Butterscotch sleeps on my pillow next to my head. Lately, she’s taken to sleeping on my waist and hip. When I woke up, she wasn’t in any of her usual spots. It was a while before I noticed a cat in The Box. Without the other cats around, she finally discovered it! There is something about this box – it’s just the right size and dimensions, I guess – that the cats love, so I just keep it on my bed, next to the super fluffy, sparkly cat bed that was donated to us.

I had to go feed the outside cats, so I opened the door to let the other cats in when I left. When I came back, a different cat was in the box. Butterscotch was nowhere to be seen. As I write this, I got confirmation that she was hiding under the armchair again. One of the other cats was peeking at her, and I could hear her hissing and snarling. That is her usual response towards the other cats, even if they are completely ignoring her. Unfortunately, some of them are aggressive towards her, even to the point of attacking her when she tries to use the litter box. I have no idea why these cats started to do this. It wasn’t like this when we first brought her in. Sure, she has always refused to leave my room, but she was at least using all the room and even sleeping in cuddle piles on my bed, or coming to me while I’m on my computer, asking for pets.

Still, the indoor life is loads better than what it used to be for this old grandma!

I delayed going outside until past 9 but, like yesterday, it still wasn’t warming up. We were at -31C/-24F, and the wind chill was at -41C/-42F Another morning where I just gave the outside cats their food and warm water, and that was it!

We are supposed to get daytime highs that are slightly warmer than yesterday and, as I write this shortly past 10:30am, we have reached -24C/-11F, with a wind chill of -34C/-29F At least, that’s what my phone app tells me. My desktop weather app tells me we are at -26C/-15F, with a “feels like” of -25C/-13F Our expected high of the day is -20C/-4F. We are still under an ongoing extreme cold warning. Looking at the weather map, the polar vortex is currently extending through the Canadian prairie provinces, all the way down to Texas.

I was going to take my husband into town for some bloodwork he needs to get done. I’d suggested going in the afternoon, when we reach our high of the day, but he suggested we go another day!

I had no problem accepting that suggestion, though I will have to go to the post office. I’ll go when they reopen in the afternoon, which is when we should be at our high of the day.

Tomorrow, however, we are supposed to start getting highs above -20C/-4f, and lows above -30C/-22F and continue to warm up. Meaning today should be the last really cold day of the winter. We’re even supposed to hover just above and below the freezing mark for most of the last week of February.

I’ll believe that, when I see it!

This coming Friday (today is Tuesday), we should have a high of -6C/21F, which is great, since I’m now scheduled to go to my mother’s to do her grocery shopping and errands.

Meanwhile, I’m still waiting to hear back from the home care case coordinator. I’d left a message last night, after talking to my mother and being told she missed two of her medication times because the home care aid never showed up – and when she showed up the next day, claimed she didn’t know my mother was back from the hospital. My mother also claims the aids all have trouble opening the lock box.

The problem is, we can’t trust my mother to be telling the truth. I have no doubt that, at least some of the time, she believes what she is saying, but she also has a history of simply lying outright. Finding out that she thought she was taking “hospital medication”, which turned out to mean her barely used bubble pack that she had with her in the hospital, and that she “remembers” me packing it in her bag when we brought her home, when I had already taken it to the pharmacy the day before, was both confusing and concerning. Confusing, because of how she phrased things. Concerning because what she remembers happening, did not happen and could not have happened.

Not that long ago, my mother’s blood pressure dosage had been changed. On picking up her newly updated bubble packs, the pharmacist gave instructions to set aside the active bubble pack with the old dose until I could bring it back to them, and they would use the pills in there in the next bubble packs, since only the BP prescription had changed. I made sure to tell my mother this, but I never found that old bubble pack. I thought I’d seen it and went to get it to take to the pharmacist the day before she was discharged from the hospital, but that turned out to be one with just her eye supplements. They had to do those separately until they got an official prescription that would allow them to put it with her regular bubble packs. I suspected, but now am confirmed that my mother never set aside that older bubble pack, and just used it up. The home care aids would not have known of any changes to her prescription and just given her what was there.

Meanwhile, her BP just kept going up and now she is on a completely different BP medication.

When I get to her place on Friday, I’ll have to remember to dig out her BP monitor that she keeps hidden in a closet, and test her. I already dug out her pulse oximeter, which I hope she has kept on the table with the lock box. Knowing my mother, she probably hid it back in the closet.

My mother gets very angry about that lock box and not being able to access her medications, but the more I discover things that she’s been doing, the happier I am that we have it! I wish we’d thought of it, long ago, when we first discovered she was messing with her medications.

Well, we do what we can. As alarming as some of this is, I’m hoping that the stuff she is doing will flag her file as more urgent for getting her into supportive living, or even long term care, which is what I think she really needs. She may be physically “too healthy” for a nursing home, but with her cognitive changes, I think she may be more than supportive living can provide. Plus, she actually wants to be in a nursing home and, at 93 years old, I think she’s earned that!

Funny how her own doctor – the one she doesn’t like because she’s black, female and has a strong accent – is the only one that immediately accepted my mother saying she’s ready for a nursing home. Home care and other doctors she’s seen have all basically said she’s too healthy and too mobile for it. I understand that there is limited space and the nursing homes tend to be for the worse cases, but a person shouldn’t have to fall and break a hip, or be at death’s door, before they can get the care they need!

But I digress.

Once this current polar vortex finally breaks, things will be easier for my mother, too. She’s feeling so much better after her time in the hospital – and even sounds better on the phone – she might even be up to crossing the street to go to church, again!

This has not been a very severe winter. In fact, it has been pretty mild, overall. In a way, I think that has made these cold snaps even harder to deal with than if it was just a cold winter, overall.

That and I’m just getting too old for this s***!

😄😂😄

The Re-Farmer