Tomorrow is Canadian Thanksgiving, but our turkey needs to be cooked, so we will be having our dinner today.
But first, I had to make a trip to the nearer city for a few things. Only about half of today’s shopping came out of our regular budget, though, as my daughter sent me funds for the other half.
Not pictured was my first stop at Canadian Tire. There, I was able to sanitize two of our 18.9L/5 gallon water jugs and refill them – the price at Canadian Tire is much lower than locally, so if I’m making the trip anyhow, it’s worth getting our refills done at the same time.
The main thing we needed to get at Canadian Tire was some mold and mildew resistant primer. We will use that on the exposed bathroom walls, before putting on the tub surround.
I was also able to get a few other things as well. One was a tube of transparent Kwik Seal, which is both an adhesive and a caulk that is waterproof. We’ll be using it on the overlap of the catio and isolation shelter roof panels. I also picked up some 6×3/4 inch wood screws, as we ran out, and a latch that I think should work on the ramp-door on the isolation shelter.
Before doing to the till, I checked out the display of vehicle organizers and accessories for the truck. What I found, though, was an emergency hand crank flashlight and FM radio that was on sale, so I grabbed that for our emergency kit. I think it has a port for charging a cell phone, too, but the packaging didn’t have a detailed list on it. We’ll need to test it out, later, anyhow, and will be able to see, then. Eventually, I want to get a version that can also be charged with a solar panel. I’ve got a couple on my wish list that have different charging ports, different lighting options, etc. that I want for the house.
The Canadian Tire purchase totaled $81.91 after taxes, with the most expensive item being the quart of primer.
After that, it was across the street to the Walmart. This is what $232.58 looks like.
The kibble is for the inside cats, with an extra for the outside cats – I put our last 40 pound bag into the bin today, and that will last about a week. The shelf is the other thing I needed to make the trip for. With the wardrobe out of my husband’s room, he still needs a shelf. I’d have preferred to get a better shelf, but when it came to the smaller higher quality shelves, I was looking at twice the price for half the shelf! So this will do for now.
There are also some supplements; some Vitamin D and some Magnesium. On my daughter’s list was the coffee, creamer and energy drinks, plus some sort of heat and eat. Until we can get the hot water tank fixed, we’re trying to avoid dirtying dishes as much as possible!
Then, because it’s cheap turkey season, I got a frozen turkey; the medium turkeys are $22. I also got a couple of packages of bacon, one of which is for the turkey.
Oh! I almost forgot. I also got a collar with breakaway buckle for the cats. Syndol still has his collar, but I want to get collars on the other cats that got neutered, so it’s easy to tell them apart. Unfortunately, the first collars I got for them have disappeared. They were likely on too loose. I’ll start with getting one on Stinky, since he is one of the crowd of white cats with grey that can be so hard to tell apart at times.
Once I was home and everything was put away, I headed outside to do a bit of harvesting for our Thanksgiving dinner.
I started off with getting some German Butterball potatoes, and the last Uzbek Golden carrots (not counting the ones that went to seed).
I also harvested a few sunchokes, and the last Purple Caribe potatoes. There were two plants I’d left to grow longer, and between the two of them, I found a whole 6 potatoes, and one of them was really small.
If you click through to the next picture, you’ll see the squash I selected for Thanksgiving. Being part of the Wild Bunch Mix, I don’t know what kind it is. We only had the one survive to be harvested. It looks like it could be an immature Long Island Cheese.
We shall see how it tastes!
Since we’re trying to use as few dishes, pots and pans as possible, I was shooting to make our Thanksgiving dinner a one roaster meal.
I almost made it.
I started by oiling the bottom of our big roaster, then lined the bottom with slices of onions and shallots. Then all the carrots, potatoes and most of the sunchokes were laid out over the onions as flat and even as I could make them.
I say “most of the sunchokes” because, as I was cleaning and preparing them, I found several of the largest ones had some sort of worm in them!
Ugh.
The turkey itself was kept plain. After getting a thorough washing and the wings tucked under, it went on top of the vegetables. Then I took a package of bacon and wove the strips over the top of the turkey.
With all that in the roaster, there really wasn’t room for the squash. My husband doesn’t like winter squash, anyhow. So that got cut into chunks and peeled, and put into its own smaller roasting pan.
The good thing about winter squash getting harvested too early, because of frost, is that the shell is soft enough to use a vegetable peeler on!
I kept the squash simple, too. The chunks got pieces of butter spread out over them, then they all got sprinkled with brown sugar.
The turkey went into the over at 450° for 15 minutes, uncovered. Then the heat was reduced to 350°, and the roaster covered with foil (the turkey is too high to use the lid). The squash was put into the oven at this time, too.
As I was writing this, the oven timer went off. The squash is now ready and out of the oven, but it will be a while before the turkey and vegetables are ready.
Along with all this, I also picked up a pumpkin pie at the local grocery store/post office. We’ll just need to whip some cream to go with it.
When the time comes, we’ll be eating off of paper plates, so there’s less to wash.
It’s not going to be fancy, but it doesn’t need to be. We have much to be thankful for!
Speaking of which…
I got a voice mail on my phone from home care, letting me know that no one was available to do my mother’s evening medication assist. So I called my mother to let her know – not something I was looking forward to, after her mind games, yesterday. I made the call just before I started on cleaning the vegetables, so I told her I was going to be quick, because I needed to go to the kitchen, and passed on the message.
Before she let me go, though, she said she had something she needed to tell me. She said she didn’t want me to worry. She would pay for the septic repairs.
She then said she forgot that she had promised to pay it, earlier.
I did tell her, I never asked her to pay for it. She offered, and I was very grateful, because we would have have been able to cover it ourselves. She kind of waffled a bit, and just repeated that she would take care of it, and stopped just short of actually apologizing for her behaviour. Which is fine by me. I don’t expect her to.
Then she mentioned that she spoke to my brother last night. I asked how that was and again, she waffled. She finally just said, it was a short call, and that they talked about him coming out to put away her air conditioner, and that it would be good to do it before winter arrives.
I reminded her that my brother had been saying he needs to come out and take care of that for her; he just has no idea when he’ll be able to. I also reassured her that, even if we got snow (it’s not unusual to get a blizzard in October where we are), he did such a good job sealing the window around the AC vent, it wouldn’t matter. No weather is getting in through there! She agreed that he did an excellent job.
Ah, my timer is going off again. Time to check on the turkey!
Yesterday was such a good day! I’m just so happy to have finally got the cat isolation shelter to the point that we can use it (though it still doesn’t have a latch on the ramp-door).
I didn’t over exert myself.
Honest. I didn’t.
Working on the shelter was mostly a lot of back and forth to get things cut and nailed or screwed into place. I wasn’t doing anything heavy or strenuous.
Yet, apparently, I overdid it.
I was in bed, just finishing my devotions, when I tried to roll over.
Thankfully, I still had my phone in my hand when the leg cramps hit. I was just able to get so I could sit on the side of the bed, but couldn’t go more than that. I was able tap “help” to my older daughter, and that was it.
She didn’t need more information to know what was going on. Which is good, yet not good, since it shows now often I’ve been getting these, lately.
I’ve had some bad Charlie horses before but, this time, it hit me in both thighs, on all sides and severe enough for pain to shoot down into my calves and up into my hips.
I couldn’t bend, I couldn’t straighten, I could barely use my arms to shift. Even taking the ibuprofen and magnesium my daughter brought me was difficult.
She stayed with me until the painkillers kicked in. Even that was weird. First my right leg, then my left, just suddenly relaxed, with a jolt. Even so, my daughter had to lift me legs for me so I could get back into bed, because the muscles were quivering so much.
As I slowly recovered, and I was able to talk, my daughter mentioned looking up the cause of these. She thought at first it might be lack of hydration, but she knows I stay on top of that. Her next thought was perhaps a lack of salt.
My initial reaction was no, but then I realized that yesterday, I’d eaten almost no salt all day.
It’s the only thing either of us could think of that might apply.
She ended up bringing me a few rock crystals of Himalayan pink salt for me to chew on.
I did eventually fall asleep, but it was many hours before my thigh muscles felt anywhere close to normal. It’s almost 8pm as I write this, and they still feel trembly at times.
My older daughter took care of doing the softened kibble feeding of the outside cats this morning for me, so I could try to sleep in – or at least stay in bed longer.
In the end, if was cats going bonkers, chasing the lady beetles that have gotten inside, that had me giving up on trying to get more sleep.
With the various plumbing issues we have right now, we’ve all been slowly chipping away at dishes and cooking as little as possible. The kettle has been kept going pretty much all the time. Between washing ourselves, using boiled water to soak the outside cats’ kibble, and just general clean up, we’ve taken to simply filling it and setting it to boil so there’s at least warm water available for the next person who needs it.
I did eventually make it outside. It started to rain, so I moved the shallots that were hanging on the high raised bed frame to cure, into the garage. Another couple of days, and they will be braided and brought into the root cellar.
I also got a heat lamp set up in the sun room, as the nights are going to be going below freezing soon. I was going to put the second one in the isolation shelter, ready to be plugged in as needed, but I will have to find a way to secure it better. I want it to be hanging from the centre of the roof, but I will need a little step ladder to reach. 😄 So that will wait for now. I did make sure both sliding panels were closed, though, to keep the weather out of the upper level. There is just the ramp door to get in and out.
The cats quite like going in there!
It had been my plan to clean up and put things away in the garage, now that the isolation shelter no longer needs to be in there, so we can finally park the truck in the garage again.
That didn’t happen!
Maybe tomorrow.
This is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, and we do have a turkey thawing out. It’ll be ready to be cooked tomorrow, so that’s when we’ll do what we can for a thanksgiving dinner, even if we don’t end up eating it until much later.
My daughters emptied out the wardrobe of my husband’s things – mostly his old office clothes, which he has little occasion to wear these days. They all went into the laundry, and my daughters got the wardrobe upstairs.
Which means my husband now has access to the closet in his room.
We can also bring back his tiny medication fridge, and the table it sits on, back into his room, though that will be done tomorrow.
He’s going to need some sort of small shelf, though.
While I was outside, my mother called. After a bit of telephone tag, we finally connected.
I’m glad to say that she has been really happy with her Meals on Wheels deliveries. She is really enjoying the food, and not having to cook it herself! This is going to work out much better for her than the bulk meal prep that home care offers.
“One of the ladies” told her that the hospital in town has a new doctor, and she told me we should make an appointment with her.
My mother is STILL talking about changing doctors, while she’s in the middle of being assessed for placement in a nursing home or supportive living. If I thought it would actually help any, sure – if nothing else, it would mean her current doctor won’t have a racist AF patient. The problem is, my mother is never happy with any doctor she has. This is a female doctor, and my mother doesn’t think women can be good doctors, just nurses, so we already know she won’t be happy with any female doctor. Even with male doctors, if they don’t tell her what she wants to hear, she’ll find something about them that disqualifies them in her mind. And if there isn’t something there, she’ll invent something. Even doctors she starts out liking, she’ll turn on them in a heartbeat.
She has a very long history of doing this sort of thing.
Eventually, I was able to update my mother on the septic repairs. When I first told her about discovering there was a leak at the expeller, she offered to pay for repairs. I ran the estimates by her and that we were going with the company that was closer.
Today, I told her how this company had stopped returning my calls, so I contacted the other company and ended up talking to the owner.
As I was trying to tell her this, she kept interrupting. I should just get my brother to do fix it, she tells me.
I had to explain, an excavator is needed. It has to be dug up.
We should just have it moved.
???
Moved? That would be an even bigger job to do!
She is not at all understanding our system here. My dad took care of all this stuff, and it’s as if she’s never seen the expeller before, even though she remembers the other things in the area, like the water fountain for the cows that was set up, along with a tap in the barn and another water fountain on the other side of the barn, all piped at the same time.
Then she started telling me my brother should be doing this, not me, because this is a man’s thing to do (talking to companies to arrange repairs, etc.), and my brother is somehow dumping this on me. I told her, this is my “job”. It’s part of the deal I had with her, and that I now have with my brother.
As all this was going on, she also started saying how, oh, someone told her that the farm is not hers anymore, it’s not her responsibility…
Yup.
She started backing out of her offer to pay for the repairs.
After she made a few passive aggressive threats about that, I finally told her, stop playing games with me. Are you going to pay for it, or not? Because if you’re not, I have to call the company to cancel the job.
Thankfully, there is now at least some water running through the expeller, so it would probably last us through the winter, but still… that would not be good.
Well, my mother, being my mother, bounced from saying, yes, she would pay for it (making it sound like I asked her to, rather than being something she offered to do) and why should she pay for it? At one point, she asked me, if I were in her place, would I do it? I said yes, if I could, I would.
I don’t think she expected that.
Anyhow.
This is another old thing with her. She will offer something, then when the time comes, start to back off, and use the offer to manipulate people. I have no patience for what is basically psychological abuse. Especially at a time like this, when we have so many things breaking down at once. I did manage to mention the hot water tank issues, but she just blew right past that. I doubt she even heard me. She even tried to drag my brother into the whole thing, and why doesn’t he call her?
I finally just said, it’s because you do stuff like this, and I just can’t handle this right now.
I then said we would talk later, said goodbye and hung up.
After that, I sent a message to my brother, updating him about the call, telling him it looks like my mother is backing away from her offer of paying for the repairs, so I’ll probably have to call and cancel the job.
While I was writing that message, my older daughter walked in and asked me if I knew what was going on with the bathroom fan.
Yup.
Guess what else is no longer working!
We had that fan’s motor replaced just a few years ago. The previous motor was the original, installed in the mid 70’s.
On top of all this, there were just lots of other little things going wrong, all day.
I did get one good phone call, though.
My brother called.
My mother had called him not long after talking to me.
She never mentioned her call with me at all, but she did bring up that she’d “heard” he was here at the farm yesterday. Yes. Yes, he was, he told her. He’d dropped some stuff off, then checked on the hot water tank and the bathroom for us.
He had to distract her from jumping to all sorts of conclusions about that.
She brought up wanting him to come to put away her air conditioner for the winter, which he’d already said he was planning to do. He won’t be able do it until after Nov. 1, though. When he goes there, he has to plan to be there for several hours, and it’s really hard for him to carve out that much time in his schedule.
As they were talking, the topic of the roof came up and he was saying how great it was that it was done, and that it has a 25 yr warranty, and they’ll both be gone before when.
What do you mean, she wanted to know. Is he sick?
…
No… 25 years is a long time. The average life span for a male is 80 years, and lots can happen in 25 years.
That led to them talking about the message our vandal somehow managed to leave on my brother’s cell phone, and the terrible things he was saying about my brother and I. My brother even managed to even address how our vandal does and says all these terrible things, and she treats him so well, but my brother and I love her so much, and take care of her, but she treats us to cruelly. He even brought up how we are dealing with so many problems right now, and her response is to mess with us. Why is that?
She started to go into her usual justifications, on how she loves everyone equally, but he cut that off, because no. She doesn’t.
He’s not sure if he managed to get through to her, how illogical her behaviour in that respect it. Particularly when it came to her saying she would pay for the repairs, then backing off. My mother, however, is acting as though I’d asked her to pay for it, which I would never do. “Donations gratefully accepted”, as my late brother used to say, but help from my mother tends to come with a high price tag, and if there were any way we could get the repairs done without her help, we’d do it.
In the end, though, my brother assured me that my mother will keep her word about paying for the repairs. The amount isn’t all that much – for her, at least – and she’s thrown twice as much at our vandal, just because, before. More than once.
Mostly, though, he wanted to make sure I didn’t cancel the repair job!
I told him I wouldn’t.
So that, at least was a positive end to the day.
Well. Not that the day is over yet, but close enough!
Tonight, I think I’ll make sure to take some ibuprofen instead of my usual acetaminophen, and maybe make sure I’ve eaten enough salt with my meals, before going to bed!
I think an early bed time is a very good idea, today.
I had an unusually hard time getting out to do my morning rounds, today! 😁
As is now the routine, I started off by setting the outside cats’ kibble to soak in hot water before heading out. The cats were very hungry and eager for food!
There was even a skunk already there, coming in to eat along with the cats! I was going to chase it away, but I noticed it has some sort of injury around one eye and…
What can I say. I’m a suck for the skunks, as well as the cats!
At least the soaked kibble won’t cause problems for the skunk. They shouldn’t eat kibble, because of how their jaws are hinged. It can cause problems. Soft kibble, however, won’t do that.
It was very hungry.
Of course, I was keeping an eye out for the kitten that seems to be having issues. When I started putting food out, I saw it laying on the cat bed on the bottom of the shelf in front of the window.
It wasn’t moving, as I put the food out.
I was honestly prepared to have to dig a hole this morning, but when I came back with the empty food bowl, I saw the kitten. It was in the middle of a food tray, food right in front of it. Other cats were head butting it to get at the food, but it wasn’t eating.
So I picked it up and moved it to another tray, to see if it would start eating there.
It didn’t.
We’d tried to give it wet cat food last night. It wouldn’t eat that, either. The bowl was covered and still in the old kitchen, so I took it in to see if it would eat the wet cat food.
It didn’t.
I even tried to scoop it up with my fingers and put it right to its mouth.
It still wouldn’t eat.
It did, however, like and bite at my fingers. Eventually.
What it really wanted was snuggles.
Oh, my goodness, did it ever want snuggles!
I ended up sitting in my late father’s walker for a while, just holding it.
It still needed to eat something, though, so I ended up taking it, and the bowl of food, into the bathroom. I added warm water to the food, then used a larger syringe we now have to try and feed the kitten.
It did actually eat eagerly for a while, actively licking at the syringe.
But only a short while. I did force feed it a bit more, but it was far more interested in checking out the bathroom, and its own reflection in the mirror.
I do still get the impression there is something going on with its vision, yet it can clearly see at least somewhat.
It also seems wobbly on its legs.
I gave its eyes a wash, and cleared its crusty nose. There are definite lung issues going on, but that seems like the standard herpes related issues all the yard cats have.
Finally, I took it back to the sun room and managed to escape before it started finding my feet and laying its head on my boots again!
I had some followers as I did my morning rounds, though, including Eye Baby!
It was really hard to get a picture of him. He wouldn’t stop moving!
That eye looks so, so much better. I don’t know that it will ever improve beyond how it is now, but he seems to be completely adjusted to his condition. It certainly doesn’t slow him down in any way!
As I finished my rounds and started heading back in, through the sun room, I found this pile of cuties, watching me!
That’s one adult cat and four kittens, all mashed into that tiny cat bed! There is a larger cat bed right next to them, with a single kitten sleeping in it, but nope. They all needed to crowd together in the little one. 😄
His legs may be wobbly at times, but he still managed to get into the cat cage and settle onto one of the beds in there.
We will keep monitoring him and keep feeding him with the syringe. That will give him both food and hydration. Hopefully, he will start eating and drinking again on his own soon.
Or she. I haven’t tried to look, yet. 😄
In other things…
While I was working on this, I got a call from the supportive living coordinator about my mother. I updated them on some of the more recent changes, such as her macular degeneration, and starting Meals on Wheels. My mother is on that line, where she doesn’t quite fit for the services available in one level of care, but needs more care that would be a good fit for the other. The long term care coordinator also has my mother’s file, and the two of them will connect to talk about my mother, including the updated information I was able to give them just now, see where my mother needs to be, and how best to get her there!
My mother, meanwhile, just wants to be in one specific long term care home in the town nearest us. We’re trying to encourage her to take whatever they have available, because there’s just no way of knowing when a space will open. Once she’s in the system, she can be transferred later. She just needs to get in, first!
Progress is progress, though, and we’re slowing getting her there!
I had a long day taking my mother to her specialist appointment in the city yesterday, and now another long day with her today. I did have time to do some of my morning rounds, though, and was able to gather a good sized harvest!
In the giant colander, there are a good number of Chocolate Cherry tomatoes from by the chain link fence. I also picked a few green Seychelle beans from the bed shared with the Crespo squash, and I even found a few on the one plant next to the purple Carminat pole beans. There are even some Royal Burgundy bush beans in there.
I found a melon lying on the ground in the raised bed – it harvested itself! 😄 There are a couple of yellow peppers, plus a Sweet Chocolate. Some of the peppers that are supposed to be more orange are finally starting to turn colour. There’s a single G Star pattypan squash, plus a few San Marzano tomatoes.
When it came time to go into the old kitchen garden, I knew there would be quite a bit, so I grabbed the bin. Those are all Forme de Couer and Black Cherry tomatoes in there.
Including a rude looking tomato! Click over to the next photo to see what I mean. 😄
After that, I left things to my daughters and headed out to my mother’s.
Long story short: her apartment finally got sprayed for bed bugs. There were no sign of any, so they will have to come back only one more time. Her neighbour got sprayed, too. I get the impression that apartment has been the main source of the problem in the building.
My mother then had to stay out of her apartment for 6 hours. Technically, she should stay out for 12 hours, as she has respiratory issues, but she refuses.
The neighbor says they only need to stay out for 4 hours, but I have no idea where she got that from. The notification letter they all get says the same thing. At least 6 hours.
We made sure to take along my mother’s supper time medications, as well as the information sheets the eye clinic gave her, yesterday, to go over. While we were waiting for the exterminator to arrive, I did go through some with her. I took the grid eye test, which is a flat magnetic sheet, and put it on her fridge. The grid has a black dot in the middle that is supposed to be focused on. I spent some time explaining the test to her, how to do it, and that she should be checking her left eye with it, every day. I even held it for her while she did the test, as instructed.
While explaining the grid test to her, how to take the test, what she’s looking for, I was saying, your left eye this, your left eye that, with your left eye…
Yet she still stopped at one point and said, “with my right eye, then…”
…
No. Your right eye can’t even see the dot in the grid. It’s for your left eye.
It’s going to take a while for it to stick, I think!
We had a nice chat with the manager while her apartment was being sprayed – she parker her walker across from her door and would not move until the exterminator left.
Then we had to find something to do or somewhere to go for six hours.
I was going to move the truck into the loading zone in front of the doors, to make it safer for my mother to get in, but the exterminator’s truck was in there, and he was chatting with the manager. When I got there, I did apologize for my mother’s behaviour over all this.
She is still utterly convinced the exterminator rifled through her closet to find and steal 70+ year old passports. In fact, at one point when it came up in conversation, she started saying, “maybe I should call the police?” When I said no, she said I was accusing her of lying. I told her, I didn’t think she was lying, but that she probably just put them somewhere and forgot where. When she moves, she’ll probably find them again. Her response was that I was “against” her.
*sigh*
Anyhow…
It was a good thing I caught up with them, because the manager remembered to ask if my mother’s bed had mattress covers. She doesn’t, and the exterminator said she needs two – one for the mattress, one for the box spring. Then he remembered he might have one and checked in his truck. He did have one and gave it to me for my mother’s mattress. We’ll still need one for the box spring.
Then I mentioned I needed to move my truck so my mother could get in, and we said our goodbyes.
By this time, though, my mother had come out and was sitting in her walker, watching us suspiciously. She called me over before I moved the truck and started asking me questions… why was the exterminator still there? Why was the manager sitting in his truck? etc.
Oh, gosh. I just realized what she was getting at.
She thought they were waiting for her to leave, so the manager could use his master key to get into her apartment, so they could steal things.
*sigh*
Anyhow.
We got her into the truck and then headed out for lunch. There was one place she wanted to go to, because someone new bought it and she wanted to see how it was, now that it wasn’t “browny” people that owned it (it had been owned by a Korean family). *sigh* The place was still being worked on, on the inside, but when she saw the worker’s vehicles in the parking lot, she thought it was open and wanted me to go inside and check. I had to tell her, no, you can’t just walk into a construction zone!
So we went to a chicken and pizza restaurant.
She ended up ordering a vegetable pizza this time, which I normally would not have thought much of, except that my mother is once again deciding that the reason she’s having trouble with her eyes is because of food, and so she needs to eat more vegetables and green things.
There is no known cause for macular degeneration, and there is no food she can eat or not eat that will make any difference. But she heard something somewhere – maybe last week, maybe last month, maybe 30 years ago – and just latches on to things.
We’re going to have to watch her on that, because she’s going to start causing malnutrition in herself if we don’t.
I had something else, so she had a small pizza to herself, with some left over that was packed up for later. We took our time eating, though – we did have 6 hours to kill! – then went across the street to a little department store she wanted to check out, while she was out and about. I helped her get across the street, then moved the truck to park by the store, so she wouldn’t have to cross the street again. The nice thing about that was that I was able to pull up really close to the curb – and that extra height made it downright easy for her to get into the truck when she was done!
We then both went in and did a bit of shopping.
There’s only so long we could drag that out, though.
There was nowhere else she wanted to go, and there is nowhere in this town where one can just hang out. We even tried driving around parts of town we’ve never gone into before, but there wasn’t a whole lot of that, either. 😄
We managed to use up about 2-3 hours before finally just going back to her building and sitting in the common room. No one else was around, so we brought out the information the eye clinic gave her and I went over it with her. Most of it, the doctor had already explained to her really well.
It didn’t take long to go through it all.
I was completely prepared to stay with my mother until 7pm, but she told me that I could go home. She was really tired and was going to just sit and close her eyes for a while. She had her leftovers for supper, and I’d added a bottle of orange juice I’d gotten with her meal on the way home from the city yesterday, that got forgotten in the truck, so she was prepared for taking her medication with her supper while in the common room.
So I headed home.
When I got home, my younger daughter was adding more supports to the tomatoes at the chain link fence that yesterday’s winds had managed to blow partly over. I ended up helping her with that, then she moved on to start breaking down the tree that the winds blow over and onto a crabapple tree.
I had gone to talk to her when our phones both dinged. My husband had sent a message.
My mother had called and left a message on the answering machine. Something about her keys?
I had completely forgotten.
While digging in her purse at one point, my mother gave me her keys to put in my pocket, so they wouldn’t get lost.
They were still in my pocket!!!
I had dashed into the house to get my purse when the phone range again. It was my mother, trying again – from the number on call display, a neighbour had let her use their phone. I told her, I was leaving right then and there!
When I got there, so was so apologetic about having me drive all the way back again. Meanwhile, I was apologizing for forgetting I had her keys! It was pretty funny!
Enough time had passed that she had eaten her supper and taken her medications. It was still early to get into her apartment, but by less than an hour, so we went in anyway.
I had offered to come back to help her put things back and she had said no, so this actually worked out.
I was able to put the mattress cover on her bed – and found out that they’d given her, and others, mattress covers long ago. She didn’t want me to put it on her bed, and basically scoffed at the fact that they had been given them in the first place.
*sigh*
So, somewhere in her closet, she had 2 more of these. Maybe when my sister next visits my mother, she’ll be ablet to find one and get it onto the box spring.
I made up her bed and put a few things away.
If she didn’t have to wait until the health care aid came to help with her nightly medications, she would have gone to bed right then and there!
I did make sure to set out the little miniature tagine bowl and lid I’d brought for her. She thought it was adorable! This will be a handy container for the health care aide to put her pills into, after removing them from the bubble pack, so they can both easily see that the right number are in there. Plus, my mother can more easily pick up the little bowl to take them, rather than trying to use her hands. Some of her fingers are deformed with arthritis.
The extra trip was good for another reason. I had forgotten to hit a bank machine earlier, to take cash out for the septic guy. We’re almost into October. Time to get the tank emptied for the winter.
We’ll need to contact the septic repair company again, too, and hopefully get a date on when they can come and repair the leaking pipes at the expeller!
I really hope we’re not getting ghosted by this company. We’ve had this happen before with other companies, in the first couple of years after we moved here. I have reason to believe it has something to do with our vandal defaming us, though I have no actual proof. Our vandal has a past history of trying to prevent companies from doing things here at the farm, and even on property in the heart of our little hamlet that my parents used to own. Then, when they tried to sell it, he drove off two potential buyers!
Yes, he felt he was entitled to that property, just like he feels he’s entitled to this property, too.
Of course, it could be this company is just really busy, trying to get jobs done before winter. Unfortunately, with past experience, I can’t help but wonder.
Well, if we don’t hear from them after trying to call them back several times, there is another company we can contact again. They are in a completely different town that our vandal doesn’t really go to, that I know of, so the chances of them having any contact with our vandal is very low.
The main thing is that this gets repaired before the ground freezes.
Thankfully, our system has still been working so far, even if the greywater is all just soaking into the ground, as if we had a septic field instead of an expeller. The leak must be pretty close to the surface for the ground to become saturated like that, so if it doesn’t get repaired, the whole thing will freeze, the greywater will have nowhere to go, and the ice will break the pipes even more.
*sigh*
Tomorrow, I will hopefully not have to go anywhere, except maybe the dump. I don’t know if I dare to to the nearest landfill again, with how bad it has gotten lately (I don’t want another flat tire!), but the next nearest one is also open on Saturdays. I just need to find it.
If all goes well, though, I’ll finally be able to catch up with stuff here at home!
Like prep and freeze a whole lot of bell peppers and melons, and either freeze whole tomatoes, or start another sauce in the Crockpot.
It’s not even 8:30pm as I start this, but it feels so much later – and not just because the days are shorter and it’s full dark outside!
Today was my mother’s appointment with the eye specialist in the city, but there were things I needed to do before getting to her place.
Which meant, of course, I got almost zero sleep last night. It seems the more I need to actually get sleep before scheduled activities, the harder it is for me to actually fall asleep!
Meanwhile, my daughters took care of all my usual outdoor routines today, which was a huge help.
The first thing I had to do that had me leaving quite a bit earlier than I would have needed to get to my mother’s, was to stop at the home care office. They needed a couple of signatures from me related to the hospital bed they provide for my husband. I also had a copy of the Power of Attorney paperwork for my brother that they needed in order to process my mother’s file for long term care. This was the last thing they needed as far as the paperwork goes. I spoke to the coordinator for a while. He had already talked to the next coordinator about long term care placement. Physically, my mother would only qualify for supportive living, which would be great for her, but behaviorally, they would not be able to provide her the support she needs. Her racism certainly would make it more difficult, too – the home care aids have already reported some unfortunate things my mother has said. Since they were there for only a few minutes, to help her take her medications, there isn’t a lot of time for her to really get bad with any of them. They do have instructions, though, on how to deflect and, if necessary, simply get out of the situation if it’s particularly bad.
As for the care facilities, her paperwork will first go to the supportive living coordinator, where it will be rejected. Then it will go to the long term care coordinator, who is already aware of my mother’s circumstances, and a decision will be made. If she does qualify for long term care, though, this will get her on a waiting list, unless something happens that puts her under urgent placement. Like if she fell and broke a hip, she would go straight from the hospital into long term care.
Or if she got herself evicted, though that’s a grey area.
We spoke about the meal assist, too. We’ll be trying it out at every two weeks, first. They have only 2 hours to do the meal preparation. We would have to make sure they have all the ingredients, any recipes needed, and containers for the meals to go into the fridge or freezer.
After finishing at the office, I was going to pick up fried chicken and potato wedges at our favorite place – the gas station! 😄 It was too early for their chicken to be ready, though, so I stopped at the grocery store to get drinks. There weren’t any that my mother would be willing to drink, so I went to the gas station and just parked until I was sure their first batches of chicken would be ready. I actually found appropriate drinks there, too!
I also made sure to pick up a couple of 5 Hour Energy bottles, and drank one of them right away.
My mother was very happy when I arrived with the food! She keeps saying, she shouldn’t eat fried chicken, because she has made associations with it and various physical complaints, but she really loves their fried chicken was wedges!
We had enough time that we could have a nice, relaxed lunch, and I could tell her about how things went at the home care office. We talked about her bubble packs, and how she needs to not take anything except when the home care aides come in. She told me how, this morning, the aide took the prescriptions out of the blister and set them in front of her in a pile, but when my mother spread them out and counted them, one was missing! The aide, on hearing that, said that she would need to make a report, but my mom knew it had been in the blister. After looking around, they did find it. It may have just stuck to her hand or the packaging as she got it out for my mother.
I told my mother that when I take my supplements, etc. I have a small bowl I put them into first, then take them all at once from the bowl. She liked that idea, so I went digging around her cupboards and found the smallest bowl she had – an absolutely delightful vintage glass dessert bowl with three handles and a pattern of grape clusters and leaves. I’m totally in love with it!
It’s still pretty big for the job, though, so when I told her I collect tiny bowls and how handy they are, she asked if I could bring her one.
I now have a mini tagine wrapped up and in my purse to bring to her. I think she’ll find it adorable!
We talked about the meal assist, and she’s not happy with it, and says that she can do meals on wheels. They deliver 5 days a week. It’s certainly an option, if this doesn’t work out, but we’ll try meal assist first.
We started to talk about the exterminator coming to her place tomorrow, and that I would be there early to try and move as many things away from the walls as can be done. She started to get very angry about it again. She’s convinced they have singled her out for abuse, and that they just want to go through her stuff and steal things. Frankly, I no longer have patience for her behaviour on this. She is very much at risk of getting evicted, and she doesn’t take it seriously. This has all dragged on far longer than it should have, because she would not let them do their jobs. So many people are bending over backwards to try and help her, and she just refuses to accept that she might be the one that’s causing the problem, not everyone else.
I was able to redirect that conversation more than a few times today!
When we left, we had what turned out to be a very easy and uneventful drive. The location of this clinic may be on the opposite end of the city from us, but it is very easy to get to from my mother’s town. The only unfortunate thing about the drive was that I was feeling myself start to fall asleep. I’m glad I got two of those 5 Hour Energy things. My mother even helped open the bottle for me while I was driving!
Once there, I got her checked in and then we sat in the waiting room. We were early, so I told her I was going to close my eyes for a bit.
I think I actually fell asleep for a bit!
Whether I did nor didn’t, by the time my mother’s name was called, I felt so much better.
The first stage of her appointment was for an assistant to ask various questions, check her current medications list, and try to get an idea of just how long my mother has been having issues. It was not easy. My mother’s sense of time has gotten pretty bad, but for all her complaints about her vision, she insisted the problem was her glasses, and didn’t even realize that her right eye was going blind!
He did a quick eye test with her, with the left eye covered, then again with the right eye covered. Her left eye can still see pretty darn good. With her right eye, she couldn’t even see a single large letter C. All she could tell was that there was a roundish shape. She also had some issues when he held up different numbers of fingers at different distances. Sometimes she got it right, sometimes not. At one point, she couldn’t even see him waving his hand back and forth in front of her right eye.
Next, he took her to a machine to take photos and video of the inside of her eye.
It was not easy.
The typical instruction is “focus on the green X in the middle.” To which my mother would say, “there is no X.”
After that went back and forth a bit, I told her to just look straight ahead. He went with that for the rest of the testing on that eye.
The assistant was so very sweet and awesome. He treated her so nicely, with such a gentle mannerism. I found myself wanting to give him a great big hug! 😄
It took quite a while to get the images he needed. It’s hard enough to stare straight ahead and not blink for several seconds at the best of times. It’s even harder for my mother, who had nothing she could focus on.
That done, it was back to an examination room, and for the doctor to see her.
It turns out her eye is really bad, and he was pretty alarmed about it. She’s had blood pooling in her eye for quite some time, but we just can’t get a handle on when she started to have problems. The only thing I could confirm is that I took my mother for her regular eye exam in February, and there was nothing of concern at the time. I was there and saw the photos of my mother’s eye. This damage was not there.
The doctor spent quite a bit of time explaining things to her and making sure she understood what was going on, as best she could, and to ensure she was able to give informed consent for the treatment.
She had to get drops to dilate her pupils, antibacterial drops, a needle to freeze the eye, and finally the needle for her first treatment.
All of which my mother put up with extremely well. When he was telling her what had to be done and made sure to get her verbal and written consent, her response was simply, “do what you have to do.”
Personally, I think I’d rather go blind than have injections directly into my eyeball!
She was pretty amazing about it.
Along with all that, he took the time to give me information booklets, a grid test for her left eye that she’s supposed to do daily, and a bottle of artificial tears. He really stressed with my mother, how important it is to NOT rub her eyes, touch them in any way, or even touch her face near that right eye. If her eye starts to itch, she is to take an eye drop.
If she starts to feel severe pain, though, she is to immediately return to the clinic to see him or, if it’s the weekend, to a nearby hospital that has a specialty in eye care.
When we finished and I was getting her next appointment in 4 weeks, and helping her pay for some of the tests not covered by our system, my mother just sat on her walker seat with her eyes closed, because she couldn’t really see. Once everything was taken care of and she was in the truck, I gave her my husband’s driving glasses – sunglasses designed to fit over regular glasses.
She really, really loved how much that helped!
Also, she looked adorable in camo print driving glasses. 😄
By this time, I was getting really hungry, and I figured my mother would be, too. When she started talking about getting me to heat up a can of soup for her supper when we got to her place, I was not about to leave it that way! I wanted to get gas in the city, where it’s a lot cheaper right now, and the gas station I stopped at had a Burger King attached to it. I ended up getting chicken fry meals for both of us, as that was something easy to eat while driving.
My mother said that the food could wait until we got to her place but I told her, when I get hungry, I start to become dizzy and ill, so I needed to eat. I set my food out on the console, and hers stayed in the bag.
As we were driving, I saw in my peripheral vision, as she reached out to take a fry!
“Temptation!” she said. 😄😄
I told her she could help herself! She had only a few, though.
Once we got to her place, though, I brought the food out for her to have right away. The home care worker would have come and gone while we were out, so I made sure she had her supper time pills with food.
She was quite happy with this.
She still wanted me to open up a can of soup for her, though, for later.
I took the time to explain some of what we brought home from the clinic, but only briefly. I’ll be back tomorrow and I will stay with her for the 6 hours she has to stay out of her apartment, if that’s what it takes! That will give us plenty of time to sit down with the information and I can explain things to her in ways she could understand.
When we first got to my mother’s place, though, I did a quick check on my messages and found my daughter had sent me photos.
It was very windy today.
We lost a tree.
When I got home, I just had to check it out and get some photos of my own, too.
In the second photo of the slide show above, I just had to get a picture of how perfectly it fell in between to other trees, without getting caught on them!
The crab apple tree in the third photo was not so fortunate.
The spruce landed right in the middle, breaking off about a third of it.
Well, this is one of the sick trees we were needing to remove, anyhow!
We should be able to use the trunk of that spruce, though. This is one of trees too big to use as a raised garden bed. We should be able to take the bottom, widest, 10 ft and set it aside for the outdoor kitchen we will be building. Part of the trunk is cracked, though, so I’m not sure we we’ll get a full 10 feet that isn’t damaged, or what we can salvage from the rest of it.
We shall see. It’s way too windy to even consider breaking it down and cleaning it up.
Once again, it will be up to my daughters to take care of the outside stuff, as I will be with my mother tomorrow.
I’m not sure what we can do for such a long time. There aren’t places to just hang out in her town, and I don’t think she’d be up to any outings. Plus, we want to go over the information the doctor gave her. We could stay in the common room of her building, but it might not be easy to have a private conversation in such a public space.
Well, we’ll figure it out!
Until then, I need to get myself to bed and, hopefully, get a solid night’s sleep this time!
I must say, I’m pretty happy with how today went! It was a lot more productive than expected.
Aside from the triple harvest I wrote about in my previous post, I was scheduled to go to my mother’s to help her with errands.
I left earlier, as I wanted to stop at a store to find something I needed, then hit a bank machine before picking up some Chinese food for our lunch. My mother told me she’d had their steamed rice and vegetables for lunch after church and really liked it, so that’s what she wanted me to order.
I am not sure what she ordered, though, as that is not a typical menu item. At least, not as a combination meal for one. She also said it was “brown rice”.
They don’t serve brown rice.
They did have the steamed rice and mixed vegetables as separate items, so that’s what I ordered for her. Another reason I am not sure what she actually ordered that she liked so much; the mixed vegetables alone were more expensive than any of their combination meals. It, and the steamed rice, is meant to be shared by several people!
She’ll have enough to last her for a couple of days, at least!
I ordered a meal combo for myself.
When my mother saw the food, she was surprised by the rice being white rice. It was supposed to be brown! Sure enough, she had eaten stir fried rice, and somehow thought it was plain, steamed brown rice.
The vegetables were what she wanted, though.
They did, however, include small amounts of meat, which had my mother hesitating. She even asked me at one point, do you think it’s okay? before eating it.
She is still completely convinced that the Chinese restaurant serves cat meat. She’s given me several different stories as to why she thinks this. The first time, she told me one of her neighbours had told her this. Then she said she saw it in the news (though that turned out to be about a restaurant in the city, who know how many years ago). Then it was because she saw more stray cats around, so that must mean they’re serving cat. Talking about what she wanted me to order last night, she said that their prices are so much lower than the restaurant the specialized in deep fried chicken, so in her mind that must be proof they’re serving cat. *sigh*
She likes their food, their prices and their generous portions a lot, though, so she just can’t resist going back.
We had an excellent lunch.
My mother had her first home care visits to help with her medications last night. She would have had two visits last night, and one in this morning, by the time I saw her, so I asked how it went. That set her off into talking about how she couldn’t sleep last night, and it had be because of “all the pills” they gave her.
They’re the exact same pills, from her bubble packs.
Then she said she’d gotten up in the morning and had a bit to each, then went back to bed. Just as she was finally falling asleep, there was a knock at the door. Home care was there for her morning meds.
I asked my mother if she had taken her pills at 5am, like she usually does (she’s already been instructed not to, but to wait for home care).
I didn’t quite get a straight answer out of her, but I think she did.
Which has me wondering; did she take a second full set of pills when the home care person arrived, or just the new supplement for her eyes, which is the only one that’s still separate?
The whole point of getting home care to help her with her medications is because, even with the bubble packs, she is getting confused about them.
Hopefully, she will remember to NOT take her morning pills at 5am (there has never been any reason for her to take them that early), but to take all her morning pills, including the new supplement, with breakfast, when the home care person arrives.
After lunch, we went over her list and added a few things she had forgotten. She needed to go to the bank for cash, though – the one thing I can’t do for her. She really didn’t want to go out at all, with how she was feeling, but she had to. I told her that, after going to the bank, I could take her home again and do the rest of her shopping. She liked that idea.
For someone who wasn’t feeling well, my mother was pretty darn spry!
Getting in and out of the truck was hard for her, as usual, but once she was at her walker, she just took off like a shot! I actually had a hard time keeping up with her! I honestly don’t know how she does it, at times!
After she was done at the bank, she decided to come along to the pharmacy, but to stay in the truck. Her bubble pack refills were set to be delivered today but, since I was there on her behalf, anyhow, I could pick them up, then pick up some other stuff she needed from the pharmacy.
That was her limit, though, so I took her home from there.
Talk about timing.
She was unlocking her door when her phone started to ring. It was the eye doctor, following up on her. They’re already tried calling me and left messages, and were trying my mother’s next.
My mother now has an appointment to see the eye specialist in the city.
The clinic is in the opposite side of the city from us. The drive will be well over an hour, plus the appointment is expected to take about 2 hours in total for all the tests they need to do.
This is going to be a very long day for her!!
She’s going to have her eyes dilated, and they wanted to make sure she had sunglasses. I have extra sunglasses that fit over regular glasses in the truck, so that’s taken care of.
The appointment is on the day I was planning to go into the city for our first stock up shopping trip for next month, but that’s okay. My mother’s appointment is more urgent!
We were very happy about the timing with all this!
The call done, I headed out to get my mother’s groceries, then put everything away for her. There wasn’t anything else she needed for me to do, and she was more than ready for a nap, so I left soon after. Gas and a stop at the post office was in order. The items that were supposed to arrive yesterday, but then tracking said they would arrive on the 26th, were all in.
After I got home, I was soon back outside. After harvesting the winter squash, I started working on the cat isolation shelter.
I was able to finish tacking down the mesh covering the pallet floor with pieces of wood lath. There was just the back that still needed to be done but, with the wire mesh already in place on the back, it was the more difficult one to do. There is now nowhere any tiny kittens could squeeze through the pallet floor and get out.
Then it was time to start enclosing the top level. The not-door sections needed to have insulation cut to fit, then covered.
The first section I worked on had the shelf across the back to work around. I had cut it to fit snuggly, but it was a bit too snug, and the insulation snapped at the shelf cut. A bit of trimming, and the pieces were fit in.
Yes, there’s a gap at the angled corner support. It was large enough that I could cut a strip from the corner that had been removed and fill it in.
I don’t have enough paint to pre-paint the pieces anymore, so that will have to be done later. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get a colour match.
I had a number of wood lath pieces left from my last bundle that weren’t all the same length, or had damage in areas. I cut 14 pieces to 16″ lengths, which left me with a 15th piece that was just a touch short. I wasn’t sure if I’d needed it, though.
This first side has floor boards that are ever so slightly too long. I hadn’t bothered to trim them. I made use of the excess length to hold the first piece of wood lath in place. Then each piece was lined up with that first one and nailed into place.
If you look at the second picture of the slideshow, you can see I had to use that slightly short 15th piece! That corner has the brace in it, so there was extra material to hammer the nails into, to secure it. Plus, it overlapped the top frame piece that it could be nailed into.
The other side was easier to do. The insulation for there just needed a 45° cut in one corner.
If you click through to the third photo, you’ll see I didn’t quite get the angle cut right! 😄 That shouldn’t be a problem, though.
I had to start a new bundle of wood lath to cover this side. They are supposed to be all 4′ long, but a few were just a little bit short. After finding 5 pieces that were all the same 4′ length, I was able to cut the stack into 16″ lengths, then nail them over the insulation.
In the last two photos, you can see how it looks on the inside.
It can be assumed the cats will try to use the insulation as a scratching post. There’s something about this insulation that they just love for that! In fact, in the photos of the insulation pieces before they were covered, you can see all the cat scratches!
I didn’t want them to pull the insulation right out if they did scratch at it. I had some nails just barely long enough to go through the insulation, so I used some of those to tack it to the wood lath from the inside. You can’t really see the nails in the photos.
The problem is, these probably won’t hold against cat scratching. Using any longer nails would just go right through the wood lath. I’ll have to think of some other way to keep them in place. I even tried nailing a piece of wood lath vertically on the inside, but I’m left with the same problem. Any nails long enough to secure it in place would go right through the wood lath on the outside. Any nails short enough to not do that can be easily pulled out.
I am more than open to suggestions in the comments!
After this, it’s time to cut that clear plastic I brought up from the basement. I found out from my brother that these were used to cover windows in the house, on the inside, to stop drafts. All but one of the windows were replaced before we moved in here. He thought these were from what is now my bedroom/office/craft room, but that window still has a covers over each half, as it was the one window not replaced. The frames on them are quite different from the frame of what I brought to the garage, so I still don’t know where these came from. It does tell me, though, that it is probably Lexan, which is good, since it can handle UV light and weathering better.
I’m going to have to be careful cutting it, though. My brother tells me there’s a possibility of shattering!
The first piece to cut will be to cover the front of the shelter’s upper level. That should leave enough material to use as clear doors on the sections that did not get covered today.
Hopefully, that will be a job I can work on tomorrow.
Little by little, it’s getting done!
Aside from all that, we got some good news today.
The electric company is currently doing a lot of work in the area, replacing power poles, doing over due maintenance and repairs, etc. – and clearing trees away from the power lines.
We got a call from them today.
They would like to come onto the property some time in the next while, to clear any trees or branches near their power lines.
We had to pay a tree company to do that, about 5 or 6 years ago. Things are starting to grow back and getting too close to the lines again.
The power company will be doing it, and there will be no charge.
They will only clear around their own lines; not the lines to the house, garage, barn or pump shack. Which is fine. The lines to the garage and barn don’t have trees near them. The one to the pump shack is something we can keep clear ourselves. The one to the house is almost directly under the main line to the pole the meter is on, so it’ll be cleared by default.
The guy I spoke to couldn’t tell me when they’ll be doing this, but it doesn’t really matter, except for the gate. I asked if they could call ahead, so we can unlock it for them. We’ll see how that works out.
So… yeah. It’s been a pretty productive day today! We’ve got all sorts of things falling into place. 😊
May things continue to go as smoothly and productively!
Okay, Re-Farmer. Take a deep breath, and relax a bit!
What.
A.
Day.
Well. Morning, really. It’s only mid-afternoon, as I start this!
I had a 9am appointment with the guy that runs homecare for my mother’s town, and area. After feeding the outside cats, including giving Gouda his personal bowl of lysine supplemented cat soup, I had to leave it to my daughters to do the morning rounds. Instead, I went through a copy of one of the assessment forms the homecare guy had given me a copy of, after his last visit with my mother.
To recap: my mother wants to go into a nursing home. A very specific nursing home. Back in July, we went to her doctor about it, and she started the ball rolling. What we didn’t know at the time was this was something that gets decided by the home care department, not the doctor. The doctor does have to approve it and fill out some paperwork, but normally, people who need it tend to go from a hospital, after some sort of incident, into long term care without ever going back home in between. My mother is not at that stage. After he did a panel with her, assessing her physical needs, it was clear she was not that far gone… yet. He recommended supportive living.
There is only one supportive living place my mother would be willing to live in, and after looking into it, today was to start the process of application to get her in.
Which would put her on a year long waiting list.
There was, however, that behavioural assessment form.
When I first started going through it, after he gave it do me, I’d read a question and think, oh, no, she doesn’t do that. Then I’d read the examples and realize, wait… yes. She does that. Has done it for years. It’s getting worse as she gets older. Yes, this is a problem we are dealing with.
The thing is, we’ve been dealing with a lot of these for so long, we don’t even think about it anymore. I had to see it written down as questions, with examples, to realize just how far she was deteriorating in this category.
I had talked to him on the phone about this a little bit, but today we had to go through all the other assessment forms he needs to go through, as well.
We were at it for two hours.
I am so glad he was able to fit me in this week! He’s going to be away all next week, the last week of the month is the busiest time for me, and I had only one day available – and that would be the week I would expect the exterminators to try and visit my mother’s unit to confirm the bed bugs are gone. If she doesn’t let them in for a third time, she will get evicted. I’m hoping to be there that day to prevent that.
Long story as short as I can make it:
When it comes to her physical needs, her recent diagnoses have actually been helpful for her, in that she actually wants to go into a personal care home (aka: long term care aka: nursing home). He updated the file on her medical changes.
With some things, it’s hard to say. As my mother is living independently, I’m not there to see if, for example, she can or can’t wash herself properly. All I can say is, she refuses to shower, and does not have a bath tub, so all she sponge bathes herself every night. Is she doing a good job? I can’t say. I can say, she refuses to use the commode her was able to requisition for her, even when I found that her bucket fits perfectly in it, making it easy for her to empty it herself. What is she doing instead? I’m not sure.
With other things, I can see she has made adjustments to work around her mobility issues. Can she dress herself? Yes, because she only wears clothing she can put on herself. No buttons. No zippers. No ties or snaps. Can she feed herself? Yes, but she has trouble eating, because she refuses to have her dentures fixed to account for a tooth that was removed – a tooth that her one of her dentures was held by. Her being able to find work arounds or just put up with things puts her on the line between categories.
We did talk about having home care come to her place to prepare meals, and to make sure she takes her medications on time and properly. They can do bulk meal preparation for her either once every two weeks, or once a week, or someone can come by once a day for a meal prep.
If it was once a day, it would be something very quick – I think they’re only allowed 15 minutes. So it would be something like making a sandwich and heating up a bowl of soup. Everything would have to be ready in advance so that a meal just needed to be assembled quickly.
If it was weekly or bi-weekly, someone would come in for 2 hours or something like that. They’d do all the cooking, divide it up into individual portions, and set those in the freezer (except those that would be used right away).
We decided it would be best to try my mother with every two weeks, then adjust as seems appropriate. As the person who does my mother’s grocery shopping, I would have to talk to the home care person about meal plans and what they would need.
We also talked about my mother’s medications, and how she’s not taking them as she should be. Someone would be coming to her place three times a day to make sure she takes them. They can only do that with medications that are in bubble packs. They’re not allowed to touch anything from a bottle. That includes the new eye vitamins my mother is now on.
Then we got to going through the behavioural assessment.
As we went through the questions, I had to give examples and, in come cases, explanations. This included telling him about what’s going on with our vandal, and her habit of reaching out to him and poking the bear, in spite of our efforts to protect her from him.
I’ll have to get back to that one, later, as we have some new crazy going on from there!
As we went through the different questions and he struggled to take notes that would make sense, there were a few times when he had to just sit back and talk about some of the things. Even things that happened to her when she was still living in Poland, and the atrocities she witnessed and survived. He even made note that she would likely need what they call “spiritual care” that is available, typically for combat veterans and former prisoners of war.
I gave other examples of some of my mother’s behaviour, including something she did during a road trip with my brother and his wife a few years ago, and some more recent examples while driving with me. I also told him about what she did to stab my brother in the back, which she still doesn’t recognize as being at all a problem. After a while of this, he stopped and sat back, hesitating.
“I don’t want to sound rude,” he started, pausing to try and find the words.
“It’s like a movie,” he finally said. A movie where all this crazy, insane stuff keeps happening to people, that’s so over the top. I basically said, “yeah; and when they see the movie, people would find it unbelievable and unrealistic, because people don’t behave that way, right?”
Yup.
Even with all this, though, my mother is a very unusual case. He’s not even sure she qualifies for supportive living, because a lot of her needs are beyond what they offer, but she doesn’t qualify for assisted living at all. Her behavioral assessment, however, may actually be what puts her in personal care – which is what she wants. She’s just on the edge.
In the end, he’s going to have to have a consultation with the person he deals with that makes the final decision. He does know, my mother needs help, and we can’t give it to her. Regular home care can’t give it to her, either.
On the plus side, since all this started because my mother went to the doctor to try and get into a nursing home back in July, she already has the doctor’s form on file that is recent enough, along with the chest X-rays they require. She’s also supposed to get a brain scan, but we’re still waiting on a call for that. She’s already been visited by the geriatric care person, and the occupational therapist. They will need a copy of my brother’s PoA paperwork, which I have and can get to them soon. As PoA, he’s first contact for next of kin, while I’m second contact, as I’m physically closest to her.
He printed out what he needed, and then he had to deal with something quickly before going to my mother’s. I called my mother to let her know we were going to be coming over, only to find she had been still in bed! She had time to get dressed, at least, but when I got there, she didn’t even have her glasses, and was all worried because her floor wasn’t swept.
My sister was coming over to do some housekeeping for her!
She was going to get me to call my sister to cancel, and I told her, we couldn’t be that long. I did tell her that I would need to take her remaining bubble packs to have the new medication and vitamins included.
I am so glad she’s going to have someone come and help her with her medications.
When I told her about including them in her bubble packs, she started to get angry, saying, they get taken separately. Which they don’t, and I’m not sure where she got that from. I was still trying to explain to her about how home care can only help if it’s in bubble packs when the home care guy arrived.
He needed her list of medications, including the new prescription and supplement. As we were talking about her new prescription, she mentioned she’d taken it twice.
??
It’s once a day; the vitamins are twice a day.
Nope.
She took one last night, at about midnight, then taken one this morning… I’m not sure why she took one this morning.
Oh! Crap!
I need to call my mother right now…
Oh, I am so glad I wrote this out and caught on to this!
Yes, my mother took this once a day pill last night, then again this morning – and would have taken it again tonight, if I hadn’t just called!
And THAT is a good example of why she needs home care to help her take her medications!
That was one of the things the home care guy needed to hear her agree to, and sign for, along with the meal preparation.
She also needed to sign a form saying that yes, she agrees to going into a personal care home, when a space becomes available. We explained to her that this might not be where she wants to go at first, but once she’s in the system, she will be higher on the list for a transfer, should a space become available where she wants to be. She just needs that foot in the door.
While the home care guy was there, my mother just happened to launch into a tirade towards him, just like some of the examples I gave him earlier. Some of it, anyone in home care sees pretty regularly, but then she went sideways and made it about something else entirely, making connections where there shouldn’t have been any at all.
When he was ready to leave, I grabbed what was left of my mother’s bubble packs and her new stuff for the pharmacy and walked out with him, and we were able to talk about what just happened.
He told me it would probably take a couple of weeks for the process to work its way through. He has a lot of paperwork to submit, and needs to talk to a few people about my mother’s case – and he’s going to be away for all of next week, as well.
He is a total gem. Sadly, when he gets back, he won’t be staying for much longer, as he’ll be moving to another office, so we’ll be dealing with someone else before long. He’ll be going over all his case files with this person before he moves to the other office, though.
I then went to the pharmacy and explained the situation and asked if they could add the new items to my mother’s bubble packs. My mother had mentioned the pharmacy had called her before I got there, talking about her next set of bubble packs.
When I said who this was for, the pharmacist assistant I was talking to started telling me, I just spoke to her, and I’m sorry if I seemed a bit rude.
???
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Every time the pharmacy calls about her bubble pack refills, my mother gives them a hard time, saying she still has lots, and it’s too early. I keep telling her, she needs to get her refills BEFORE she runs out, but she doesn’t get it. Well, the last time she did this, they held back. When she ran out and came to get her refills and they weren’t ready, she apparently chewed out whoever was at the counter about it not being ready. So when she talked to my mother today, and my mother tried to give her a hard time about it being too early, etc., again, she told me mother, no, this is the date. This is when they’ll be ready.
I think they were relieved to hear my mother is going to be getting home care to help with her medications!
There was only one hang up.
Bubble packs can only have prescription medications in them.
The eye vitamins are not a prescription, so they couldn’t include them.
The pharmacist asked me about the eye doctor, and it turns out they know each other. He will call the eye clinic and get an actual prescription for these supplements from him.
Until then, they would pack 10 days worth of the eye vitamins in their own, separate bubble packs.
As for the new prescription, it says once a day, but doesn’t say when. It’s at night that she has issues, so that’s why she was going to take them in the evening – and why she took one last night. That was the first one she took, even though I brought them for her the day before.
It was going to take them about an hour to update the current bubble packs, so I took advantage of that to go for lunch and update the family a bit.
By the time they were ready and I brought them back to my mother’s, my sister had showed up, done the housekeeping she was going to do, and was getting ready to leave. I needed to explain the bubble packs to my mother, so my sister stays so she’d be up to date, too.
So I went through it all, explaining why the supplements were in their own bubble packs, but she needs to take them with her morning and evening (breakfast and supper) pills, and that the new prescription was with that last pill of the day she’s supposed to take before bed.
That’s why I had to call my mother just now.
The new pill is in with tonight’s bubble pack. She’s already taken one this morning.
After confirming that yes, my mother did take the new prescription pill this morning, as well as taking one last night, I told her to NOT take the one that’s in the bubble pack for tonight, because she’s already taken today’s pill.
I repeated this a few times, and even told her to go ahead and take it out now, and put it somewhere else, but I’m not completely confident she’ll remember.
She was very glad I called about it, though, because yes, she would have taken that pill again tonight, if I hadn’t.
She also realized that I brought back the bubble packs, but not the bottles with the rest of the pills. I told her that the pharmacy is keeping them so they can be included in her new bubble pack refills, as she has already paid for them.
Anyhow… I’m ahead of myself.
It took me a while to explain the bubble packs to my mother, and the times to take them. Even my sister had to chime in to reinforce what I was saying. My mother has a very had time grasping the times on the bubble packs. She’s been taking her morning and evening pills at 5am and 5pm. Why those times, I have no idea, but that’s what she settled on. Only recently did she say she changed to 6am and 6pm, so she could sleep a bit more.
I told her, when home care starts coming to help with the pills three times a day, for the first two they’ll be coming for breakfast and supper – so she won’t have to get up so early anymore! She can sleep in.
She seemed to like that idea!
While we were talking, some mail was slid under my mother’s door, so I opened it for her. It turned out to be her ambulance bill. I was surprised it was only $250 The last I heard, it cost more than $400.
It included a survey on how the paramedics did, and so I started helping her go through that. She got really angry and first, saying, how can they expect her to remember? It was so long ago! (It’s been maybe 2 months?) Then she started saying, the paramedics treated her much better than the people at the hospital, before launching into a story that, at first, we thought was about the paramedics, but was actually about something in the hospital. It included some pretty racist comments, but she talked about how she was being moved around in a wheelchair while her coat and purse were left in an examination room. Long story short, while they insisted she check her purse to make sure everything was there (I’d say it was really obvious to them she believed they would steal from her), she said all her money and ID, etc. where there. However, she now says someone stole “pictures” (which could have included clippings from magazines, newspapers, printouts… ) from her purse.
Of course, the accusation included racist rants.
When I asked, why would anyone take pictures from her purse…
I didn’t get to add, instead of her money or whatever, when she started to get into “that” mode, at which point, my sister said it was time to go!
So we said our goodbyes, then I stayed a bit longer and talked some more about how it went with the home care guy. I explained how she’s just on the edge of things, because she can still do things like feed herself and dress herself, but has other issues. I told her, he needs to consult with someone about her situation, to figure out where is best for her. She was just really happy to know that going to a nursing home is an actual possibility now.
By the time I left, though, I felt like a wrung out washcloth.
But, it’s done. The process is well on its way.
Now, if she can just keep herself from getting evicted, that would be nice!
Last night, I was able to reinforce the damage wire mesh along the door, after painting the base. The door still opens fully, with no obstructions, which was my goal.
My daughter did a second coat on the base, as the original white paint was showing through. She also painted the water stained underside of the “floating” shelves. Once the paint has cured for a couple of hours, it’ll be flipped upright, the plastic cover removed, and the rest will be painted. Then, the roof panels can be put on.
As for my day with my mother, she insisted on going back to her previous eye clinic, as she decided the one I took her too screwed up. The eye doctor there is an Asian woman, so my mother’s racism is in full play.
It turns out, the problem wasn’t her glasses at all. Since her last eye tests, she developed macular degeneration in one eye. It’s almost completely blind.
They can’t do anything for her out here, other than get her to take special vitamins to protect her other eye. She will need to go to the city once a month for eye injections. As the person that will be driving her, the specialist clinic will call me, probably within the next 2 weeks, to start that.
She is now glad she went to a “real doctor”. The thing is, I was in the room with her last appointment. I was there when they took images of her eyes. I saw the images when the doctor showed them to her. She did not have it then. This is something that can happen quickly, which is obviously how it is with her. But this doctor is a white man – and she knows his parents! – so that means he’s a good doctor, nor the other doctor.
*sigh*
After that, we had lunch, and ran into a friend of mine from high school! I spent time explaining things the eye doctor told us as we ate.
Then again as I drove her home.
Then again, after I picked up her meds, Tylenol and the eye vitamins she needs to take, and her groceries.
Then again, because she couldn’t figure out why she had 3 bottles of pills instead of two. She suddenly decided the vitamins were her prescription medication, and the prescription medication were the vitamins.
They have completely different instructions.
I ended up writing it all down, complete with illustrations, to help her remember.
At least she can still read with her left eye!
The monthly treatment she will be getting should fix her eye, though maybe not 100%. We don’t know how long it will take.
It was a sort of double harvest. I wasn’t expecting to gather anything, but that first and oldest melon finally dropped off its vine. That thing is about 9 inches across! There were also a few San Marzano tomatoes, but I didn’t have a container, and the melon made it harder to carry things. So I put them in the old kitchen, then went back to the old kitchen garden to gather was it in the second photo. I found myself picking a good handful of those tiny strawberries. Then I checked the Black Cherry tomatoes and found quite a few I could pick, hidden among the leaves. Way more that I expected!
My brother and his wife were expecting to come early to drop off another load, but I left before they arrived, so I never saw them. I went to my mother’s town, got a few things done, then got to her place nice and early. I’m really glad I did, so I could go over the letter she got from the hospital. I knew the location, but when I looked it up on Google Maps street view, across a specific parking lot from the main entrance, but I couldn’t see where the clinic entrance was.
Turns out, that’s because it was recently built in the parking lot, and street view hasn’t been updated yet.
When we got there, I had to park illegally because there were not parking spots available anywhere. Not even disabled parking. I then helped my mother up the ramps from hell to the door.
They were excellent ramps. There was just 3 levels of them, switch-backed up to the door, and that was a LOT of walking for a 93 yr old woman with busted up knees, using a walker!
I then had to leave her to register herself so I could find somewhere to park – several blocks away!
Long story short, she had some very uncomfortable tests, but she now has a diagnosis, a new prescription to try, and a plan of action.
I also found out that she has NOT been making any effort to drink more water, and the most the nurse questioned her in preparation for the tests, the more obvious it became that a lot of her problems would improve if she simply drank more water. She’s only drinking the equivalent of 1 500ml water bottle a day! She’s digging in her heals on this one, though, as she is completely convinced it has to be food that’s causing her problems. Of course, it’s the food she needs the most that she’s decided are bad for her. *sigh*
That done, the clinic was able to fax her new prescription in, and make a follow up telephone appointment in 3 months for the doctor so ask her how it’s working and adjust the dose, if needed. There are other drugs that can be tried, but this one has basically no side effects, so that’s the one he’s starting with.
On the way to her home, we stopped at a restaurant in her town, as neither of us had eaten since about 9 or 10am, and we got to the restaurant at 6pm. She needed to take her evening pills, and had brought her bubble pack for the list of medications they needed, so she went to take those – without water – before we went in.
Which is when I saw that she’s been messing with her meds again. She’s taking her morning pills, but for the past few days, skipping her evening pills. When she got this evening’s pills, she took the one that is supposed to be taken before bed at the same time. Something she promised she would stop doing.
When we finally got to her place and opened the door, we found her mail on the floor. She started to try and distract me with one envelope that she said was an invitation, but it was the other one that got my attention. It was from the government public housing department that owns her building. When I mentioned that, she tried to dismiss is as probably being about her rent.
I opened it.
It was her final notice.
She refused to allow the exterminators in her suite again, which goes against her rental agreement. This is the second warning letter they’ve sent her. If she does it again, she will be evicted.
As I was reading this to her, she basically started to laugh about it. When I tried to stress the seriousness of this, she started ranting about the “drunkard” in another unit, and how they’re not kicking him out. Then she started saying “this isn’t Russia”.
She refuses to accept how serious the consequences of her actions are.
It is so incredibly frustrating. She is her own worse enemy!
*sigh*
After reading the letter, we moved on to the information booklet she was given and I briefly showed her the sections that gave her concrete actions to do – and one of them is, drink more water! That was as much as she was up to, and I left soon after.
I’ll be back in a couple of days to drive her to another appointment. I’ve updated the family about all this, and I hope my siblings can get through to her on just how much of a problem she is causing herself. Both about the eviction warning, and messing with her medications.
There’s not much we can do about it, either. Unless a doctor declares her cognitively unfit, and she isn’t there yet, she is going to have to face the consequences of her actions.
Ugh.
Enough about that.
Throughout the day, I was also getting messages from the Cat Lady. She was taking Button to the vet. When her mother was cat sitting for them, she noticed that Button was having trouble seeing at night. His hearing isn’t back, either, so both his eyes and ears were going to be checked.
He has also had quite the growth spurt – after being dewormed three times, he’s finally putting on weight! Even the clinic commented on how big he’s getting.
They have decided that his issue is basically being developmentally delayed. His eyes are healthy, but just not where they should be for his age. He was treated for eat mites, and they believe his hearing will also recover.
That’s the good news.
The frustrating news is, the person who was going to adopt him has instead adopted another cat and is no longer interested in him. Given his vision and hearing issues, the Cat Lady wants to make sure he goes with someone who can take care of these issues until he grows past them.
Assuming he gets adopted out at all.
It was recently confirmed that a cat of theirs that was startled by a noise and disappeared, was the victim of a coyote. The Cat Lady says that Button is helping to heal her heart. She absolutely adores him.
I really hope she finds someone for Button. They already have way too many cats from us! She’s still trying to get The Wolfman adopted out, but any time someone comes over to see him, he hisses and even swipes, and runs away!
I’m just sad that the potential adopter backed out. A vet – even a large animal vet – would have been the perfect placing for Button.
So that is where we are now, and I am ready to crawl into bed and pass out.
I just know that the moment my head hits the pillow, I’m going to suddenly be wide awake! That was me last night, so I can really, really use some real sleep tonight!
The larger ones are the Albion Everbearing strawberries that have recovered remarkably well after getting eaten by a deer. I’ve had the odd ripe strawberry every now and then, but this is the first time there was more than one to gather. There were actually more than what’s in the photo, as I left behind a couple that were slug damaged.
The little ones are from the strawberries in the wattle weave bed that were grown from seed last year. They are still blooming, too, and there are lots of little green berries still developing. It’s a shame they don’t taste any better.
Once back inside, my younger daughter and I started getting ready to head out. My older daughter wasn’t going to make it. She’s been burning the candle at both ends, working on new commissions, and was not feeling well today.
The general plan was for us to have a sit down restaurant lunch with my mother, then go to the nature reserve. My daughter was hoping we could do a picnic instead. With my mother, it all comes down to how she feels, and what she is up to.
I remembered to bag up a few slicer tomatoes for her. Just enough for a taste, really. She’s not supposed to eat acidic foods, but small amounts, early in the day, don’t bother her. My sister usually brings my mother large amounts of tomatoes, forgetting completely that my mother isn’t supposed to eat them. This year, however, she mentioned her tomatoes did not do well, so she doesn’t really have any to give. We have so many of the Forme De Couer tomatoes, there is plenty to spare.
We packed supplies we’d need to eat outside, if we did end up doing that. Then my daughter made lots of noise, topping up the outside cat food, to lure kittens away from the truck. There was one kitten that just did not want to get out from under there! We managed to get them away, though, and soon we were off.
We left early enough to stop and pick up a birthday cake for my mother. Or, in this case, a variety of cheesecake slices! We still got to my mother’s early.
We didn’t stay for long before heading out. My mother needed to stop at her bank, first. They merged with another and she said she needed to order new checks. She’s sent a check and said it was rejected, because of the old company name.
Getting in and out of the truck was difficult for my mother, though. She tires so quickly now, too.
Once at the bank, the teller was confused about a check being returned, since all the key information was unchanged. It took a while to get the rest of the store out of her. It turns out, she did not get a check returned. She had sent the check to a grandson for his birthday. He had come over to see her, and told her it was rejected, apparently because of the date. It’s possible my mother wrote the date out in her usual mix of Polish, English, numbers and Roman numerals.
This grandson is one that never contacts her, nor returns her calls, and hasn’t since he turned 18 and got his inheritance from my late father. Now, suddenly, when there was a problem with a check she sent him, he shows up at her door? He also never returned the check, but just told her there was a problem. It seems the name being an issue was something my mother “figure out” herself. My guess is, with him there, she just gave him cash. My mother has a terrible habit of pandering to those who treat her the worst, while treating those who help her the most, quite badly.
The more the story came out, the more the teller seemed concerned. She checked, and no one had tried to cash a check in the last 3 months. She did assure my mother that she did not have to order new checks. The ones she has now are perfectly fine.
From there, she decided she was still up to a sit down restaurant. We did bring up the idea of getting take out and going on a picnic, but she acted as if she never heard.
We had an excellent lunch. My mother insisted that she would pay for it, but she never tips, so I snuck ahead and paid for it. By the time we were done eating, my mother decided she was up to going to the nature reserve. That got amended to her staying in the truck while my daughter and I explored. Not that we’d leave her by herself, but that’s what she pictured in her mind.
When we got there, I was going to just follow the roads to parking lots and we could see what we could see. I did end up taking a sign road, which turned out to be exclusively for people with disabilities. This allowed us to see parts of the sanctuary we had never seen before.
As we were going home, though, I was hit by exhaustion. The sleepy kind. It just came out of nowhere and slapped me upside the head!
When we got to my mother’s my daughter and I were going to leave right away, but my mother insisted we stop for tea and some of the cheesecake. She asked about the bill at the restaurant, and I showed her the slip that did not include the tip. She gets very angry when she sees us tip! She was very… parsimonious, shall we say, about paying me back, and actually underpaid me. Then she declared that my driving her was my birthday gift for her, as her reason for not contributing anything for gas this time. Which I normally wouldn’t care about, if I hadn’t found out she’s been practically throwing her money at people that have disowned her again. My daughters have joked that maybe we should start being mean to her, too, and she’ll start throwing money at us, too. Not that we could ever do that, but the sad thing is, it is probably true.
Overall, we managed to keep things okay during this visit. We were able to cut away from her usual racist rants, and she was only moderately insulting to my daughter about her appearance. As for why my other daughter didn’t make it, when we told her she wasn’t feeling well, my mother flat out said she didn’t believe it. 🫤 Ah, well.
She started showing us pictures and newspaper clippings that are her typical segues to more racist rants, so we cut things short, then made our escape. I could see she was getting very tired, anyhow.
Which I could completely understand.
Before we left, she gave us a couple of cards for the girls, and it turned out she was at least as generous to them, as she had been with the grandson that only shows up when money is involved.
My daughter drove us home, and I’m so glad she was there do to it. I was able to close my eyes for a bit during the drive home, at least!
Not enough to get some rest, though, so that’s what I’m about to do. Even though it’s late afternoon. I have been drifting off, time and again, just working on this blog post!
The Re-Farmer 