dealing with elderly parents

How things went

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There were a few things that were planned for today. The trip to my mother’s was the biggest one, but I was also planning to get a quick, low raised bed for the Crespo squash done, as well as to finally get a family photo done.

Well, I got one of them completely done! 😄

But first, the cuteness!

This adorable little lady still won’t let us anywhere near her. She is from the latest litter of last year, and isn’t quite a year old yet. I really, really want to snag her before she goes into her first heat, but she just won’t allow it!

When I did the morning feeding, I didn’t even try to do a head count. They come and go too much, this time of year. I did check in the old garden shed to see how the kittens were doing, but they were not visible. I saw them through my bedroom window, last night, playing among the stuff pile at the back of the shed, over the rotted out hole the cats get in and out of. That was reassuring, as I’d feared Broccoli had finally moved them. This morning, though, I didn’t see or hear anything, plus there was still kibble left from yesterday, just inside the door. I didn’t see Broccoli at the kibble house, which is what usually happens when the mamas have moved their kittens further from the house and don’t necessarily hear the kibble hitting the trays.

I’m happy to say, though, that when I went around the back of the house this evening, to check on what I thought was where I was hearing a cat fight, I spotted the black and white one playing among the remains of a pallet, then Broccoli popped out to check on what I was doing. So the kittens are still in the garden shed.

After my morning rounds were done, the weather was good enough that I thought we could finally get the group photo done, out by the lilac hedge. As I was setting up the tripod, my husband and older daughter started coming around, when my daughter suggested we find somewhere else.

My husband was barefoot.

I had no idea my husband no longer had outside shoes! He has tried to buy himself some sandals online, a couple of times, now, but … well… let’s just say, my daughters now have new sandals. When I would take him to medical appointments, he would wear his grandpa slippers, which I thought was just a comfort thing. There was no way we were going to let him walk through the old garden area to the lilac hedge, in bare feet! Especially since he doesn’t feel pain in his feet anymore.

So we decided we will wait for the Dwarf Korean lilac by the house to start blooming, and do the photo there. Hopefully, he’ll have outdoor shoes by then, but if not, it’s only a few steps from the house and there’s nothing there he can injure himself on. These lilacs will bloom in a few weeks, so it’s not much of a delay.

I had thought I would have time to start some projects before I had to leave for my mother’s, but decided to head to her place early, rather than work on things that would get me dirty and sweaty. 😁 I figured I’d pick up lunch for us, too. I checked the grocery store, first, to see if they had those hot dinners she likes so much, but they didn’t. Instead, I put some gas in the truck, and picked up some fried chicken and wedges at the same time.

I gotta say, my messed up left elbow is annoying. When starting to put fuel in the truck, I couldn’t squeeze the lever on the nozzle! I had to switch hands to do it! Strange how an elbow injury can prevent certain motions in the hand from happening. It wasn’t even the pain. The hand just couldn’t squeeze while in that angle!

Ah, well.

I tried calling my mother before I left to let her know I was coming early, but there was no answer. When I got there, she was in the lobby, chatting with a neighbor, so seeing me then was a surprise for her. 😊

She didn’t even give me a hard time for what kind of food I brought, so she was definitely in a good mood.

We had our lunch first, which is when I noticed something on her table that needed to be dealt with. It was an appointment card for a local doctor that she made with my sister, but never told me the date for. She’s wanting to change doctors, even though any doctors out here tend to not stay long, and only come out a few days a week from the city, anyhow. But she doesn’t like her current doctor, and while her racism and sexism plays a part, the reality is, it’s hard for her to make the trip, and between the doctor’s strong accent and fast speech, and my mother’s own grasp of the English language, she has a really hard time understanding what the doctor is saying. The problem is, the appointment with this new local doctor was for Monday.

The day she’s getting her Home Care panel done.

When I commented on it, she asked if I could call and cancel it for her. Which I did, as soon as we finished eating. It was a very quick call, which really surprised my mother. I think she expect them to give me a hard time for cancelling or something, but it was no issue at all.

That done, we brought out her bubble packs and I started looking up her medications. It turns out the water pills she’s on are a round white pill – and she’s taking two different round white pills! They are taken at different times of the day, though, so they were in different bubbles in her pack. While I was at it, I went through each of her prescriptions and wrote down what they were for, and what they looked like, so she could keep track. She thought her water pills were the one that’s split in half and taken twice a day, but that one is a heart pill! It took a lot of repeating and explaining, with both of us writing things down, but I think she finally has it straight as to which pill she is to stop taking, and when. What finally seemed to help make it click for her is that she is now taking 2 pills in the morning instead of 3, but everything else is the same.

I wasn’t going to confuse things by pointing out it was actually 1 1/2 pills. 😁

She has one prescription that is for acid reflux that is in its own bubble, to be taken before she goes to bed. As we were talking, she mentioned that she takes it with her evening pills, because she didn’t want to be bothered with taking a pill again before bed.

She takes her evening pills at 5pm. She doesn’t go to bed until past 10pm.

Suddenly, the problems she was having that the Pepto helped with makes sense. The one medication that should have prevented that was being taken way too early in the day.

*sigh*

But we got it straightened out, and she says she’ll take that one pill before going to bed, again.

She absolutely will not change the times she takes her morning and evening pills, though. It’s 5am and 5pm and that’s it, even though the recommended time frames on the bubble packs would mean not having to get up at 5am every day, but at a far more reasonable hour!

Not something that’s worth giving her a hard time over, though. She just takes her pills, then goes back to bed for several more hours.

After that was done, we went over her shopping list, and then I went and did her shopping for her. I even remembered something we talked about, but wasn’t on her list – a small case of water bottles! It turns out, she remembered that after I left, so she was really happy when she saw me carry it in.

We then spent some time talking about her need to increase hydration, and how these 500ml bottles can help her keep track. I was able to show her that the amount of water she should be drinking was 4 of those bottles – which seemed to shock her. It’s only 2L. The average amount of water an adult female should be drinking (including about 20% fluid from food) is just under 3L. I don’t expect her to be able to start drinking that much right away, but it’s a visible and easy way for her to keep track.

On her list was some canned soup, for those days she doesn’t want to cook, but now also because she is keeping in mind that she should eat more soup for hydration. As we talked about it, she mentioned that she couldn’t open the cans. She had to get a neighbour to do it, for her! She says she needs a new can opener, but she is also having more trouble with her hands. The easy solution would be to get her an electric can opener, but I think that might actually be beyond her.

We’ll figure something out. The good thing is, she has neighbours that are willing and able to do it for her, until then!

Remembering that she was having trouble using the can opener, I remembered to open one of the water bottles for her, just in case, and jokingly nagged at her until she drank some.

She took the tiniest of sips, and that was it! I’m hoping it’s just because she’s not used to drinking from a water bottle, and not because that’s how much she usually drinks at a time!

Oh, I was also able to help her put some things away, that were still sitting in the middle of her living room, from the last time the exterminators were there. While I was doing that, I noticed the traps they’d left in various places, so I checked them. There were a very few insects caught in them, but no bed bugs. So that is encouraging!

While I was sorting through some things to put away for her, I pulled a jar out of one of the bags.

A jar with change in it, labelled “bingo”.

My mother seemed surprised to see it, but then started saying they don’t play bingo anymore, so maybe she should use the change.

I think this is the jar of change my mother claims the exterminator stole from her. When she talked about it, I had in mind that this was a larger jar, like a pickle jar or jam jar or something. Not a tiny jar like this one. Now that I think about it, a larger jar like I thought she was describing doesn’t make sense, as she said it was completely full, and she wouldn’t be able to pick up larger jar with the weight of change in it. Her hands are just too messed up with arthritis.

It didn’t stop her from checking inside the jar while I continued sorting, and making comments about how the exterminators just love going into her apartment, so they can go through her stuff, while she’s gone.

*sigh*

Ah, well.

After I finished at my mother’s, I headed home, then took the time to send an email to my siblings to update them on how it went, before heading outside. I’ll share more about that in a separate post. While I was working in the sun room, though, I spotted a visitor!

The little skunk had come by for some kibble!

It’s so cute.

It was then that I started hearing thunder, too, but I was able to do most of what I needed to, before heading inside to avoid the storm!

Which I will cover in my next post…

The Re-Farmer

A very long day, and that’s hilarious!

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Today was my day to take my mother in for her doctor’s appointment, but it was late enough in the day that I could still do my morning rounds.

The double lilac in the old kitchen garden are starting to really open up. With the recent deluge we had, with other areas getting snow, quite a few people on my gardening groups lamented the loss of everything they planted on the May long weekend. Quite a few others responded by saying to not put out any tender transplants or seeds until after the lilacs start to bloom.

We have 5 different kinds of lilacs, and they all bloom at different times. These double lilacs bloom first, and we’re still almost a week away from our last frost date! So that’s a rule of thumb I’m going to ignore! 😄

Speaking of thumbs, we’ve got more Red Thumb and Purple Caribe potatoes coming up. No sign of the German Butterball, but they were planted quite a while later. Of the sugar snap peas, the first ones we planted still have a whole three sprouts growing, but the second planting has quite a few breaking ground now! The carrots are still so tiny, it’s hard to tell how many have actually survived. We’ll need to plant more, anyhow. The spinach seems to be struggling, too. We’ve had both excellent results with spinach, and absolutely awful results. In this bed, though, I would have expected better results. We’ll see how they do as our weather clears.

I also spotted some tiny, distinctive leaves in the wattle weave bed. The chamomile successfully self sowed!

I headed out to go to my mother’s early, first to make sure the truck was prepped for her to be able to climb in, and to be able to get her folded up walker in, behind her seat. The little step stool I got was also handy. Of course, I checked the tires, because I always check the tires! The spare is holding up nicely, but that front driver’s side tire needed a top up again. It’ll be good when we can finally change out those valve stems, but my goodness, our budget has been hit hard these last few months.

Before going to my mother’s, I swung by the post office to get the mail. I’ll get to what was in there in just a little bit! As I was in the truck, updating the family before leaving, who should pull in, but our vandal. At first, he seemed to avoid looking at me, but as he got to the door of the store, he actually waved hello, pleasantly, before heading in. My hands were occupied, so I just smiled and nodded. I have heard that he’s been going to AA and such, as well as struggling with health issues, so maybe he’s improving. I’m not holding my breath, but there was a time when we were very close. One can hope things will get better.

Once at my mother’s, I was early enough that we could go over a few things first. She had two shopping lists; one for the pharmacy, and one for the grocery store. She also had a few little things she needed help with that I could do when we got back, plus some stuff she wanted me to take home with me. This included a church bulletin, which is basically just a newsletter. When we had a church to go to in the city, I really liked their bulletins, as they were basically what the service was for the day, with either responses right in the bulletin, or page numbers for them in service books/hymnals. This was especially appreciated when we first starting going there.

Gosh, I miss that church.

Along with the bulletin, she had a couple of women’s magazines for me. The social workers that visit her building give them to her, then she passes them on to me instead of putting them in recycling. I told her, we don’t read them, so go ahead and recycle them. This was about the only time my mother went on a bit of a rampage. Apparently, she wanted us to read the magazines because we (meaning my daughters) don’t go anywhere (she assumes), and don’t do anything (???), so we need to be exposed to stuff like magazines. I told her, these particular magazines are pretty much all about selling weight loss products. Oh, but they have good recipes! To which I said, Mom. We have the Internet. We have access to everything that’s in this magazine, and more. If fact, we can have access to these magazines, too! She finally stopped pushing after that. I must say, I am getting rather tired of her basically giving us her garbage to get rid of.

Speaking of which, she also had a container of something frozen… for the cats.

*sigh*

At least this time, it wasn’t something full of onions! I mentioned that onions are poisonous to cats, and I think she remembered.

We left fairly early for her appointment, so we had a bit of a wait. That gave me time to show her some photos and videos on my phone that my brother and his wife had sent me, as they are currently out of province. As time passed, I ended up showing her pictures on Pinterest to keep her occupied. I know what to look for, for her, and she seems to really enjoy it. She never got much chance to complain about how long it was taking, which she started to do a whole 3 minutes past her appointment time. 😄

The appointment itself went far more quickly than I expected. When we told the doctor we were there for a long term care assessment, she looked up the file and read the report from the woman that assessed my mother’s cognitive abilities a while back. The one area of note involved memory loss – more short term than long term. There is a medication that can help with that, but I already know my mother wouldn’t want to take another prescription. It turns out to be a moot point. One of the medications my mother is on is for a heart condition, and this medication is dangerous for people with heart conditions. Not that my mother actually has one. When she last saw the coronary specialist, it was shortly after we moved here, and I was there for it, along with my brother. My mother has a very healthy heart, and she was most unhappy to hear that, since she was convinced she was having heart problems and that he must be lying to her (we now know she was feeling really bad heartburn, but it took a few years to figure that out!). This heart medication she’s on is for something else. However, if there’s any sort of contraindication, my mother is not going to get this other prescription.

As for the long term care assessment, I was expecting my mother to get lots of questions, but the doctor basically accepted that, if my mother feels she needs to be in long term care, then she needs to be in long term care! There are just hoops to jump. The first ones, we could take care of right away. My mother got requisitions for lab work, chest X-ray and an EKG. All of that was available right across the waiting room. The only set back there was my mother had to get onto a bed for the EKG. She really struggled to get up there, and there wasn’t any way for us to help her. There was a stool available, but that was actually more difficult. Later on, as she was struggling to get into the truck, she told me it was easier to do that, then get onto that bed for her EKG!

The next things she needs will be done later. She’s got a referral for a home care panel, which will be done in her home, and she has a referral for a brain MRI. Once the doctor gets the last of the results, it all gets sent in for the long term care referral. I’m assuming there is some sort of approval process, then she gets put onto a waiting list.

I had been told we’d be asked to give the names of our top three preferred long term care centres, and I had that ready. However, when it came up, the doctor said there isn’t a choice. You get wherever there’s an opening. Which I found rather strange. Still, even if she doesn’t get in where she wants to be, my mother can be transferred later, when there is an opening. Transfers take precedence over the waiting list.

So the ball is now rolling. My mother is getting increasingly eager to move into a nursing home! I think part of that eagerness is because she feels that, if she ever did need help where she is now, like if she had a fall or something, the people around her couldn’t be relied on to come to her aid. She wants to be somewhere with a staff that has that ability to help, and I think she recognizes her own decline, to a certain extent. Talking about things like memory loss, during the drive back, we talked about things like forgetting the stove on – something she is already extremely cautious about, even if she hasn’t used the stove! When I commented that, if she were having such issues, she wouldn’t even know it, she immediately agreed. I think that was something else she was aware of, but didn’t have the vocabulary to express.

So that was done.

Before taking her home, we made the stops we needed for her shopping. She stayed in the truck! After everything was brought in and put away, I did the few things she needed help with in her apartment. By then, it was time for her to take her evening meds, and she was feeling really tired. So was I!

Once at home and I brought in the mail, I had a package I was told was coming – but the contents were a rather hilarious surprise!

Healthy Poops! 😂😂

Thank you, M, for the donation! 😄😄

The ingredients are pumpkin, flax seed, coconut, chicory root, turmeric, ginger and banana. The dose for under 25 pounds is 1/2 Tbsp per day. The container holds about 28 Tbsp. When we make our cat soup again (we are currently out of wet cat food), this can replace the ground pumpkin seeds we are using now. Until then, it can be dusted onto the kibble.

Not all the cats have … issues… but it certainly won’t hurt! Turmeric is anti-inflammatory, and I’m sure our elderly cats will appreciate that, too. It should be interesting to see how they respond to it! Apparently, cats like it enough that it comes with a warning that this is to be used as if it were a treat, not as a meal, and to start off slow.

So that is something we will start using tomorrow. The lysine we ordered came in early, along with some other cat meds, too.

Yeah. We’re sucks for the cats!

The Re-Farmer

A visit and an unexpected $138 stock up shop

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Today, the plan was to meet my brother to help set up my mother’s air conditioner for the summer. Since I was going to be out anyhow, I planned to go to the grocery store after, and pick up some eggs.

Since I was out anyhow, my daughter asked if she could bribe me into picking up some stuff for her, at which point it was worth the gas to go to the town we usually shop at.

Of course, nothing quite goes to plan, does it? I like it when that turns out to be good, which is how it worked out, today.

My brother and I pre-arranged to meet at a gas station before going to my mother’s together, so I left early to tank up, first. Once we connected, we both headed over to our mother’s place. My SIL was a sweetheart and sent a lunch for us all, with enough extra to feed my mother for at least another day. She is such a saint. She no longer visits my mother, because my mother has been so incredibly cruel to her, but she still loves her and does stuff like this. Which makes her a much better person than me. My mother has literally thrown away food my SIL made for her – frozen in individual meal portions – so she wouldn’t have to cook while recovering from surgery, because she decided it wasn’t “fresh”. She actually gave it to me to give to the cats. It wasn’t until later that I found out where it was from. I’ve tried to bring my own cooking to my mother as well, but got nothing but complaints, so I’ve given up completely. Now, she complains because I spend money on food, which makes me bad with money in her eyes. We can’t win, no matter what we do, but my brother and his wife just keep being so sweet to her! Which is a big part of why I was happy to join him today. Not only do I get to see him, but my mother behaves differently when both of us there, compared to how she treats him when he’s there on his own.

Setting up the AC didn’t take long at all. It’s one of the portable AC’s, not a permanent window one. Basically, it just involved removing the Styrofoam insulation that’s set in the window for the winter, and hooking up the duct from the machine. He’d taken the original window out and replaced it with a board the exact same size, and the window part of the AC set up installed in the middle, then cut 4″ wide Styrofoam insulation to fit on the inside, taped in place, for the winter.

Of course, once it was set up and plugged in, we had to test it. The outlet it’s plugged into has its own switch on the wall, which he taped in the On position, and even wrote “AC” on it, so no one would flick the power off from that outlet.

And… someone did. The tape was still there, but the switch was off. He turned it on while I was next to the plug, which has a reset button on it that I heard beep… but the AC would not turn on. If the switch was pushed in further, it would beep again, but that was it. So there’s clearly a connection problem in there, but not something we could deal with. That’s something my mother should call for a maintenance request for, though she won’t do that, of course. My brother could fix it, another day – and knowing him, he probably will – but technically, he shouldn’t. At least not without getting special clearance from Public Housing.

What we found, however, is that once the tape was put back over the switch, it was enough to hold it in place and keep the power on, and the AC was working fine.

That done, we had lunch, which was way more difficult than it should have been. My mother had delayed her breakfast and made “extra” for us, so she kept trying to make us eat her toast and cheese chunks, while trying to not eat the food my brother brought, because she made breakfast… As we were setting up lunch, my brother went into the fridge and found it almost empty. Oh, yes, my mother says. I’m running out of things… but I’m good for a few more days.

*sigh*

It took both of us to convince her to take advantage of the fact that we were there and could do it right away, instead of having me come back later in the week. So once we finished lunch, I started making a list with her. That’s when she said she wanted bleach, for her bathroom sink.

???

The sink was draining very slowly, so she wanted to use bleach to clear it.

So we explained that bleach won’t fix something like that. She would need a drain cleaner – maybe. My brother went over to take a look, filling the sink to see how bad it was. It turned out to be pretty bad!

Then we took a closer look, and there was all sorts of gunk visible. So my brother got a wire coat hanger, turned it into a small hook, and started pulling stuff out.

While he did that, I did my mother’s grocery shopping.

By the time I got back, the sink was draining like a dream, and my brother was “fixing” her TV. She was complaining about how the picture was too small – she was seeing black borders around the images. The problem turned out to not be the TV or its settings at all. Her cable provider recently upgraded, but not all the channels she gets are HD, so some channels automatically fill her screen, while others don’t. There was nothing wrong with her TV.

Meanwhile, as I put away the groceries, my mother was checking out the receipt and suddenly said, I told you I didn’t want lettuce.

???

I took a look and sure enough, there was iceberg lettuce on there – and it was voided, then her cabbage was listed. The cashier had put in the wrong code, then fixed it. My mother, however, was convinced that she was charged for a head of lettuce because she once got charged for a watermelon she didn’t buy, some 10 years ago (which I’m not sure actually happened; I think she mistook a promotion on the receipt as a sale item, which she once did with shipping I helped her with). So once everything was put away, I got out my phone with its calculator and added it all up. The total I got, minus the lettuce, matched the subtotal on the receipt. When to told her this, she gave me a look we all know too well. She didn’t believe me. She then tried a different tactic and implied the change she got was wrong. Well, I’d given her her change with the receipt, and it was still on the table, so I added that up and it matched the receipt, too.

You’d think that would have made her happy.

It didn’t.

Instead, she now thinks that not only is the store cheating her, but I’m lying to her about it.

*sigh*

Still, we dropped that.

As always, my mother tried to bring up all sorts of things in the most negative way, even trying to twist things to make it so that her behaviour is not a problem, but that everyone else is – including a nasty dig at my brother’s wife in the process.

*sigh*

My brother was way more gracious than I would have been, by that point!

My brother had told her yesterday that he couldn’t stay long, as he had an event to get ready for later today, but as we were getting ready to go, my mother kept trying to make us have tea, or eat something, or… I had already told her I needed to run errands, too, and she started giving me a hard time about how I’m always running errands. I told her, if I’m going to be going out anyway, I want to do as many things as I can, so I’m not going out several times a week. Of course, we’d already been there for a couple of hours, so it’s not like we were rushing off. Then she tried to make me take a little jar of “keys” home. Why? Well, she doesn’t have room for them. I looked in the jar and didn’t see any keys. Instead, I saw a mix of all kinds of objects; the sort of stuff you’d find in a junk drawer. Any keys that might have been in there were completely buried. I asked her, why are you giving me your junk? Oh, there’s lots of room at the farm.

*sigh*

That’s the problem, I told her. There’s too much stuff at the farm, including stuff people gave to her and Dad 50 or 60 years ago!

So she tried to tell me that I could sell the metal to a scrap dealer.

…

At that point, my brother stepped in to end the conversation, because it just wasn’t worth trying to explain it to her.

I didn’t take her jar of junk.

Then we both had to leave.

Which just made my mother angry, saying we were leaving because we didn’t like what she was saying (at that point, she was into a completely different rant about a topic unrelated to any of us), and we were like, no, it’s time to go, that’s all!

Sadly, while that was true, we were both glad to be gone. I’ve tried to explain to her that her behavior towards people drives them away, and she just excuses it with “I just say what’s on my mind.”

*sigh*

While my brother had to rush off to get home, I was able to make a quick stop at the hardware store, where I finally picked up a bale of peat moss for the garden, first. Then it was off to town and for what was supposed to be just a few items.

Ha!

I didn’t get a picture of what my $137.99 looked like, though. Just the receipt.

My daughter had requested the energy drinks and coffee creamer. The cases of energy drinks were quite a bit cheaper than most of their sales, so I got two. Usually, it’s just maybe 50¢ off per case, but this time they were $1.30 off per case.

My husband requested the Coke, which was also on sale, so I got two 12 packs of those. Not much of a sale, but better than nothing. He requested the Sweet Chili chips and corn chips, which were not on sale… good grief, they are expensive these days! That came out of his budget, not the main budget, though. 😄

The flats of eggs were not on sale, but they are about 3 dollars per flat cheaper than at my mother’s grocery store – if they have any flats at all.

Pierogi were on sale as well, so I got a couple of bags.

One of the big savings was the butter. I haven’t seen butter for less than $5 each in four years! The other was the chicken, which was a buy one, get one free, deal. It was a mix and match option, but I chose two whole chickens instead of parts and pieces.

So while I ended up buying more than expected, we’ve got more butter and extra chickens in the freezer, and that’s always a good thing!

Once I got home and everything was put away, I really needed to just sit down and decompress for a while! Visits with my mother – even good ones like today (yes, this was a good visit!) – really take a lot out of me.

While I was out and about, we got hit with passing rain several times, so things are wetter out there now, then when I left this morning. The next two days should be cleared and warmer, so I’m hoping to finally get some work down outside – including working some of that peat into various prepped beds, and finally planting my potatoes! I’m hoping to get another bed of peas, spinach and carrots planted, too.

The rain has delayed getting other beds ready, but most things won’t be planted until after June 2, so we’ve got the rest of May to get those done, and build new ones.

If the weather holds out!

The Re-Farmer

All the things…

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… and it’s barely past noon!

First the fun stuff.

I counted 31 yard cats this morning! Likely because it’s a rather chilly and damp morning – and I was a bit later than usual for bringing food out!

With the chill and that damp, I don’t expect to get much done outside, but I might get some seeds planted into cells this evening. I might wait another day, but when I checked the mixed melon seeds when shutting down the lights last night, I saw a whole bunch of radicles peaking out! None of the other seeds are showing them yet, but almost all the mixed seeds were sprouting. I checked again this morning, and it looks like we’re at not quite 100% germination with the mixed melons, already! This was the packet that had 21 seeds in it. The large celled trays I am trying out this year have 21 cells, so that works out, if they all make it. I don’t want to put them in soil too quickly, though. A bit more time in the warmth and dampness above the heat mat will be good for them.

Speaking of dampness…

While checking the status of the basement, I was able to shift the new blower fans to focus more on the stairs. The space under the stairs is looking pretty dry, as well as most of the concrete floor, but it’s going to take longer on the steps.

We should probably remove that carpet that’s nailed to the stairs. Most likely, it’s scrap carpet salvaged from somewhere that my parents acquired and added during the years we lived out of province. Likely to make them less of a potential slip hazard? Or just because they felt like it. I don’t know. I think, in the near future, we should pick up a gallon of durable paint, get rid of the carpet, and paint the stairs as soon as possible, so there aren’t any exposed holes in the wood. The girls have plans for fixing the basement up a bit, including painting the ceiling – the exposed floor beams and joists – white, to brighten up a really dark area. I’d like to get more of those shop lights that we are using as grow lights. I prefer them to the lights that are already down there and, to be honest, I’m not too keen on replacing the existing wired in fixtures just yet.

But those are plans to slowly work on over time.

I checked the root cellar floor as well, and it’s mostly try, so the box fan remains. The hydrometer I’ve got in there was at 60% humidity still!

We might later need to move the new blower fans to the counter shelves. The pedestal fans are still aimed at them, and there is significant improvement, but there’s a lot of stuff blocking air flow. We’ll probably need to move some things out – and it’s a good excuse to finally drag out the old door from our old van that my brother was able to replace for us, shortly after we moved out here. Yeah, it’s been sitting there all these years, just in case parts were needed. Now that we no longer have the van, there is no reason to leave it there.

Other than the weight and how awkward it would be to get it up the stairs and out the door!

Anyhow.

After I did my rounds this morning, I called my mother. She sounded better, but she told me she was preparing to head out to the clinic. I asked how she was feeling, and yes, the Pepto seemed to really make a difference. We talked a bit about that, and then she went back to talking about going to the clinic today.

Why, if she’s feeling better?

She kept jumping back to my brother telling her that she needed a doctor to say she could move to the nursing home, and I eventually figured out that she believed she could just show up at the clinic, have a doctor say she needed to move to a nursing home, and basically start getting ready to move.

She has gotten really eager to move out of where she is and into the nursing home! Specifically, the one in town, where her sister and my father spent their final time, as well as many old friends and neighbours of hers.

Once I figured out why she still wanted to go to the clinic, I told her it doesn’t work that way! I told my mother she would need to make an appointment, then told her I would call the clinic about it right away, and get back to her.

Which I did, and had a great conversation with what turned out to be an unusually knowledgeable receptionist on the topic. It turns out she also does home care and is quite familiar with the process.

One of the things she told me is that we need to give the doctor a “top 3” of nursing home choices, not just the one my mother wants to live in, and they all have to be in the same region.

My mother’s doctor, however, is on holiday for most of May, so the earlier appointment I could get for my mother was at the end of May. She booked my mother for a longer appointment, since it is for a long term care assessment, and made sure the appropriate forms were attached to the appointment file.

I really like the people in this clinic!

Then I called my mother back with her appointment, and explained things to her, including how this just puts her on a waiting list, so the whole thing can take months, and she might not end up where she wants to be. We talked about other towns with nursing homes, and even the smaller, nearer city, which is in the same region (the bigger city is its own region, by itself). When we’d talked about assisted living previously, she was adamant she never wanted to live there, but now that we’re talking nursing homes, she actually seemed quite okay with the idea of living there. Particularly since it puts her closer to both my brother and sister. It’s roughly half way between us and my brother’s, so our trips to see her would be about the same length of time. My sister would be only maybe 15 minutes away, at most.

But, who knows? We have to get her assessed first, and we now have an appointment to get that ball rolling.

My mother updated, I then updated my siblings. While we can all help out, ultimately, it’s on my brother, as Power of Attorney for my mother, to finalize things on her behalf.

After all that, I was finally able to take a breather, have breakfast and start this post – at lunch time! 😄

I’m glad to have gotten that done, but I’m also glad to NOT be making a trip to the clinic with my mother, nor anywhere else. I don’t even have to go to the pharmacy; my husband’s refills are going to be delivered today.

Between all the phone calls and writing, and the cool, damp weather, what I’d really like to do now is go for a nap. Weather like this always makes me so sleepy!

The Re-Farmer

Good grief, what a day!

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Today, I would normally have done our second stock up trip to the city. I did the Costco trip last week, so this week would have been our non-Costco run through several stores all along one route.

With all the running around into town I had to do, however, I was able to take advantage of some excellent sales at the local grocery store. The only things left to pick up are more cat food and litter pellets, and we don’t actually need to do that immediately. Those can also be done in the smaller, nearer city, instead of dealing with the big city traffic. I was thinking of leaving the trip until later in the month.

Then yesterday’s flood happened.

We need to replace that old, metal blower fan in the basement with something safer and more efficient.

I had looked at one in Costco last week for $80 and almost bought it, but decided it could wait another month.

After talking about it with my husband, he decided to try buying it online. He found the same fan on Amazon, but it was over $100, so he went to the Costco website. They had two versions – white and not white. The not-white is what I saw in the store. They were otherwise identical, but the white one was cheaper. Still more expensive than what I saw in the store – about $85 for the white one, almost $90 for the not-white one. So my husband was going to order two of them. The only option was for delivery, though, not in store pick up. Slower, but saving us the gas to drive in.

He couldn’t order it. They don’t ship to postal boxes, and there was no alternative to the mail to have it shipped.

Okay, then, I would just head into the city and buy them direct.

Then I got a phone call.

From my mother.

Of course, she acted as those what happened the last I saw her, didn’t happen at all.

She started off asking how I was doing, but in a tone I recognize to mean “can you do something for me”. I also recognized her “I’m dying” voice.

Sure enough, when I asked how she was doing, she said she was terrible. She started to say how she couldn’t sleep for the past few days – then launched into an attack on my brother. She had called him first, but there was no answer, so she was saying that he blocked her number, or he was ignoring her calls, or he cancelled his number… It was well into the conversation before she finally mentioned that she got a “the customer is not available” automated message.

I had to cut her off and really press to get her to tell me what she was feeling, and what she wanted me to do about it. I finally got her to describe some of her symptoms. Basically, the same ones she’s been complaining about for a while now, but she says it’s worse. She can’t sleep more than an hour.

Aside from talking in circles about a dozen barely related things, she also brought up about wanting to move into the nursing home. She really wants to move into the nursing home, now! My brother told her about her needing to get a doctor to say that’s what she needed, and she mentioned that, vaguely, but she still didn’t quite understand the whole process. I started to get the impression that she thought that if she saw the doctor today, and the doctor authorized it, she’d move in right away. I told her, if she does get the doctor’s authorization, that just puts her on a waiting list. After that, it’s basically waiting until someone died and frees up a bed – and then they work their way through the waiting list.

I think she understood that, but didn’t agree with it, or something. I couldn’t quite get the gist of her thoughts.

Given the time she was calling me, I asked if she wanted me to take her to the emergency, reminding her that if we did, we’d likely be there all night, or to take her to the clinic as a walk-in, tomorrow. She really didn’t want to make the decision, but it eventually came around to, she would try to sleep in her recliner chair tonight, then call me in the morning to let me know how she as feeling.

So much for my trip to the city to get the new blowers.

At least the fans and the old blower we have now has made a big difference. By the time I checked before heading to bed, most of the floor was dry. Dry enough that I could plug in the box fan and not be standing in a puddle! I aimed that one partly towards the root cellar’s open door. The floor there has some odd low pockets that held puddles, but it was mostly dry all around them. I was able to move one of the pedestal fans and aim it right at the low spot of the floor under the counter shelves. Those are slightly elevated, so at least there’s a bit of air circulation under them.

This morning, expecting to get a call from my mother, I didn’t even do my morning rounds. I just fed the outside cats, and stayed close to the phone.

When she didn’t call by about 9 or 9:30, I called her.

She did actually sound a bit better, but she was still wanting to go to the clinic. She was getting ready. We talked a bit more about how she felt. She didn’t sleep in the recliner; she couldn’t get it to recline more than a tiny bit, and it was too uncomfortable, so she stacked up pillows to sleep more upright. It helped. The more she talked about how she felt, the more it seemed to me that she was having really bad indigestion. With the stuff going on in her building, that could easily be a stress response, too. Since she was clearly doing better, I suggested trying Pepto before bed and giving it another night. She didn’t have any and wasn’t sure what I was talking about, but she wanted to go to the clinic. She was even packing a bag, in case she was admitted to the hospital.

I told her that I could call the clinic ahead of time, so they’d know to expect her, before we left her place. After I got off the phone, though, I went ahead and called the clinic sooner.

It’s a good thing I did.

My mother’s doctor doesn’t work this clinic on Tuesdays, but the clinic, which is in the hospital building, was down to only one doctor today, and she was all booked up. They couldn’t do walk ins. There wasn’t even a doctor in the ER. The clinic and the hospital were down to this one doctor!!! There would be a doctor available tomorrow, though.

My mother wasn’t going to the clinic today.

When I asked about alternatives, the receptionist mentioned a quick care clinic in the nearer city. I wasn’t sure my mother would be up to that, so I called her before looking it up.

She was surprised that there were no doctors at the hospital and just one in the clinic, and I had to explain to her, there just aren’t enough doctors.

In the end, she decided she was willing to wait until tomorrow, though I will phone the clinic again, before I head to her place.

This meant, however, that I could go to the city, after all.

So I offered to swing by, pick up some Pepto, and bring it to her to try. Just in case. At worst, it won’t do anything at all. When she found out I was going to be going to the city anywhere, and wouldn’t be making a special trip, she agreed.

When I got there, even though she knew I was on the way to somewhere else, and said I would stay long enough to explain the directions to her, she still expected me to sit and stay. I told her, I was going to be doing plenty of sitting in the drive to the city! We went over the instructions, and she even took some right away, as she was planning to rest.

She was actually looking and sounding much better. Even between the two earlier phone calls, she sounded better.

Oh, there was one other thing, though… After all the phone calls I made, I got another one – this time from the person with senior’s support that had visited my mother for an evaluation not long ago. She had promised to follow up with me, after she filed her report.

In a nut shell: there are two question-tests she does in these visits. One is for the “big stuff”. This is where they determine if someone might start doing things like forgetting the stove on, wander off, or start forgetting who the people are around them. There was pretty much no change at all in that area, which I was sort of expecting. The other is for the “little stuff” – and for these, there was a substantial decrease. This is the area where we were noticing issues. So we talked about that for a while, and there are medications for cognitive improvement that can be prescribed (the report was sent to my mother’s doctor as well as the doctor they work with), but my mother is already messing with her pills now, because she’s taking soooo many pills (she isn’t), and would likely refuse to take any new medication. I mentioned about her now wanting to move to the nursing home, and we talked about that for awhile. It can definitely be a help for her. Especially when it comes to making sure she takes her medications.

So the cognitive issues of concern I’ve been noticing have been confirmed, and we are already taking what would have been the next steps, anyhow.

Anyhow.

After dropping by my mother’s, I made the trip to Costco to get the blower fans – with turned out to be cheaper than I remember from last week! They were $75 each.

I am so happy with them!

They’ve got 10′ cords (the old blower fan’s cord is barely a foot long), and can be plugged into each other in a series, if desired – or something else can be plugged into them. They have four positions they can be set at, and three power settings for the fan. They automatically shut off if they start to overheat, and have a reset button.

Both of them are now aimed at the stairs, and maximum settings. One mostly at the bottom steps, which are the wettest, while the other is blowing into the corner under the steps; the first area water was pooling at, and still one of the wettest areas.

The old blower fan is now unplugged. I left it otherwise untouched so the motor can cool down, before I try picking it up to set it aside, into retirement!

What a day it’s been!

I’ve got no idea how things will turn out tomorrow, with my mother. I’m really hoping she’s feeling better because, honestly, I don’t think any doctor’s visit or hospital stay can help her. She has too hard of a time explaining her symptoms, skips things, conflates things and, if I have to be honest, I strongly suspect she’s more interested in the attention than anything else! She’s cried wolf too many times in the last few years. It’s not that I think she’s faking her symptoms, but more that she doesn’t understand them and is making assumptions based on what she wants the problem to be, and wants other people to do something about it. No idea what. Just “something”. We’re all supposed to be able to magically know exactly what her problem is and fix it, and she sometimes gets quite angry when we aren’t also mind readers, knowing exactly what she means to say, even when she doesn’t say it. Very frustrating!

Meanwhile, it’s the time of year when we have the most work to do outside, that we need to get done when the weather is good. My brother, for example, didn’t get her call because he and his wife were outside doing yard work. He did eventually get through to her after she spoke to me, but that didn’t make her any happier. These days, he can’t do anything right by her, and it’s really starting to get to him. *sigh*

Ah, well. It is what it is. We do what we have to do, and that’s all there is to it.

I just wish it wasn’t so frustrating at times!

The Re-Farmer

I’m done.

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Just done.

Things started going down last night, with Little Miss Leaky Butt making a mess on my bed.  I changed my bedding and got the first load of laundry started before going to bed.

This morning, I woke to find another mess at the foot of my bed.  A small one, but wet enough to soak through to the mattress cover.

So I take the sheets off, but leave the cover for later, since I was out of clean bedding.  With the price of king size sheets, I don’t have extra spares.  There was just one small damp spot, anyhow.

Then Peanut Butter Cup jumped onto the bed next to me while I was taking my supplements, and aimed her butt at me like a shotgun.

I shooed her away, but she still managed to leave a drip behind!

Meanwhile, my younger daughter had already gone through the dining room on her way to the kitchen, where she discovered Ginger had peed on the dining table.

Unfortunately, the dining table being a flat surface, it had stuff on it.  Some of which had to be thrown away.

So for the next while, we were starting more laundry and more clean up.  I did the litters, and after I left, my daughter continued doing a deep clean.

I left early so I could pick up our order of lysine for the cats, then continued to town.  I picked up a couple of cheap vinyl table cloths, then got a few things at the grocery store.  Including tweezers to dig out the sliver I got yesterday, but didn’t discover until this morning, and antihistamines.  I don’t normally have allergic reactions to anything, but I am definitely allergic to something outside.  Likely tree pollen.

Budget?  What’s that?

*sigh*

I made sure to grab a food for lunch to eat in the truck, then called my mother to let her know I would be early.  She was just starting her own lunch, so that was going to work out.

When I got there, I found she had already started on her apartment, and even pulled some furniture from the wall.  As we were talking, she mentioned that she might stay at a motel for tomorrow night, because my sister suggested it.

Of course, both my brother and I had also suggested it, but my mother does love trying to play us against each other.

Which is how things started going downhill.

First, she started attacking my brother, making all sorts of accusations about how he is after her money (as if she has any worth fighting for!). Then she started defending our vandal, who really is after the millions he believes she has squirreled away.  Then she started playing us against each other, while saying how she just wanted us to all get along.

Of course, I defended my brother, while also pointing out how some of the things she was complaining about were the consequences of her own actions.  She still doesn’t understand how badly she screwed herself up when she stabbed my brother in the back, months ago.

I’m not going to say more about the things she said, but she started getting increasingly vile.

Then she brought my daughters into it. 

My daughters, who were doing a deep clean at home, so I could be at my mother’s to take care of her place, due to the consequences of her own actions.

At which point, I told her, that’s it. I’m done.

Then I left.

So I never got in further than her dining table, just a few feet from her door.

On the way out, I pulled over to email my siblings about the situation, then let my family know I was on my way home, and why.

When I got home, my poor daughter was totally wiped out.  She’d had to scrub on her hands and knees in places, and she wasn’t feeling well in the first place.

Oh, and the power was out.

It just came back as I was writing this.  It was out for about an hour.

What a mess of a day.

I’m done. 

I keep saying I’m done with my mother, too.  I don’t need to put up with her abuse.  Who am I kidding, though?  I’ll still help her out.  Not so much for her, but for my brother.  After what she did to him, he tried to cut her out, but he is too good of a man.  He will always do the right thing, even when it breaks his heart.

I think that, more than anything else, bothers me the most about my mother.  She can’t hurt me anymore, but she sure hurts the ones I love.

The Re-Farmer

Got a bit done (video)

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I had a very rough time getting going this morning, and I’m not sure why. Bad pain day, joints and muscles, and so very sleepy. I got the girls to do my morning routine for me so I could sleep in as much as the cats would allow. Still, I had to do something outside, on this gorgeous day! This afternoon, I picked a smaller job and worked on the garden bed my daughter weeded and prepped for me yesterday. Like the others, it was bowing out where the boards were jointed at a support.

Since posting a lot of photos isn’t an option for me right now, I took the pictures I would otherwise have included here and made them into a short video.

After I was done with the raised bed, I puttered around the yard and enjoyed the day. One thing I decided to do was raise the old market tent higher and secure the corners. Particularly the corners on either side of where it’s broken. At some point during the winter, the canopy supports collapsed, but I couldn’t see why.

I got three legs extended, but the fourth one just would not happen. I even lubricated it and took a hammer to the base plate, but it just would not extend! Meanwhile, even after attaching cords to the other three corners and securing them, the canopy supports kept folding down for some reason.

Which is when I realized the pins at the corners had snapped free of where they were hinged at the corners, and were literally floating free above the legs!

Well, that tent is toast.

We’ll dismantle it and keep the parts and pieces, like the one that had a piece of tree fall on it. We’re still finding uses for those pieces in the garden, so I’m sure we’ll find plenty of uses for these pieces, too. At some point, we’ll pick up another Walmart cheapie. These tents are very handy.

One of the things I want to do is move the home-made folding table that had been sheltered under the tent all winter, closer to the house. It will be used when it’s time to harden off the transplants.

I won’t be able to get much done outside tomorrow, though. I don’t want to start anything then have to leave it when it’s time to go to my mother’s and start bagging things and moving furniture for when the exterminator comes the next day.

Oh! My brother ended up calling me when he had a few minutes at work. He’d actually made it to that funeral my mother had tried to guilt me into going to, even though I really don’t remember these relatives. My brother does, and he hadn’t known about the funeral until we talked about my mother. He went to work super early to get things done, then even booked the time for a meeting he couldn’t miss for when he knew he’d be in the town it was held in – a town north of us! – so he could attend the meeting by phone, from the parking lot. He wasn’t even sure he’d have a cell phone single, but it worked out. He was glad to have been able to go and catch up with a distant cousin. The only down side was, our vandal was there, too. Our vandal has been treating my brother cruelly for many years longer than we’ve been back. My brother is much more tender hearted than I am, so being around our vandal actually made my brother feel ill, even though they had no contact. He wasn’t even sure if our vandal saw my brother among the crowd. Ah, well.

Then we got to talk about my mother, and I found out something disturbing, if not surprising. Not long ago, my mother had proudly told me that she’d skipped all but one of her medications, instead taking the echinacea my sister had brought for her, for her cold. I had quite the talk with her about how potentially dangerous that can be, partly because she’s been on them for so long. I’m also concerned that she isn’t remembering which pill is for what, getting what they are mixed up, and so on. Well, it turns out she’s still doing it, and told my brother about it.

This is on top of her putting her own tenancy at risk by refusing to allow the exterminators in, and accusing them of theft.

We’ve talked to her already about moving away from where she is now, partly because of some of her neighbours messing with her head, partly because our vandal randomly shows up. Mostly, though, she’s going to start needing more help, and there is an assisted living apartment not far from her. However, we’ve also talked to her about going to the nursing home her sister and my father both spent their last years. My mother isn’t at that point, and it would require a doctor’s assessment, first. She’s in favour of living there, when the time comes. The question is, with the things she is doing, is the time coming faster? The added benefit for her living there would be the extra security. If she moves there and our vandal finds out, we can make sure he’s on the list as not being allowed to see her. She would also have access to physiotherapy for those knees of hers, and there’s even a chapel, right in the building. They’d make sure she was taking her medications, having proper meals, and hydrating. If I remember correctly, they even have doctors coming in to see the patients there, instead of the patients having to go to a clinic. I know my father was very happy there. When I made my weekly phone calls to him, he would go on and on about how well they were treating him and taking care of him. But then, my father was someone who told the staff what a great job they were doing, while my mother is the sort that would only complain and find fault.

Still, as she’s messing around with her prescriptions, this is something we need to consider more seriously.

*sigh*

Well, I’ll be seeing her tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully, things will go well though, to be honest, just thinking about it makes me feel overwhelmed. She lives in such a tiny little apartment, but she has so. Much. Stuff. I’m the last person to have any credibility when it comes to that sort of judgement, but I’m not living by myself, with no pets, in an apartment that’s about the size of the room that was her bedroom, here at the farm. The room that is now my bedroom, office and craft room, altogether.

Hhmm… Now that I think about it, this room might actually be a bit bigger than her apartment.

I am not looking forward to tomorrow.

*sigh*

The Re-Farmer

Our 2024 Garden: potting and potting up, and stuff

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Today I was going to be helping my mother with her grocery shopping, so I took advantage of the trip, leaving a bit early to swing by a hardware store. I didn’t find everything I was looking for, but found other things I needed, instead. Then I swung by another store to pick up something for my mother I knew she was intending to skip this time, before finally going to the grocery store. I was intending to pick up a couple of their prepared hot meals that my mother likes so much, for our lunch. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any this time. They did have pieces of hot rotisserie chicken, though, so I got some and other ingredients for our meal. We were running low on kibble again, so I bought an 11kg bag that I hope will last us.

After taxes, it cost $50, which is totally insane.

My mother was happy with what I got her for lunch, which was nice. As we were eating, I kept waiting for her to bring up about the situation with the exterminators coming in at the end of the week. We went over her shopping list, then discussed whether she was up to going to the store with me, or just giving me the list to do the shopping for her. In the end, she decided to stay at home. The local senior’s centre has social activities in her building on Tuesdays, which she loves, and all she needs to do it walk down the hallway to attend.

I finally brought up that we needed to talk. I could tell by the look on her face, she new exactly what I wanted to talk about. It was a look of rather scornful humour that I see way too often. I explained to her that the public housing department is required to do this, and they really could evict her if she doesn’t go along. She kept smirking and scoffing in response, (all this for just one bug?) before bringing up the things she is convinced an exterminator stole from her. Particularly the old passports. She had four of them together, she says, and now there’s just two. I didn’t even think to ask, why would someone not only go digging through her boxes papers to find them, then take only two of them. Particularly since the exterminator is in and out very quickly. I reminded her that she’s accused people of stealing before, only to find the “stolen” item later. It’s entirely possible she decided to put them someplace “safe” and forgot where, as happens to everyone. I also brought up a few things she does that are far more of a safety and security thing than someone using 70 year old passports that look nothing like modern ones to make fake ID, but that just had her going off on a rant that completely contradicted her concerns about “scam people”.

I managed to get the conversation back to the exterminator visit – and found out hers is not the only apartment that’s going to be treated. I took a moment to check my email and found a response from my sister. It turned out she had also suggested that my mother just get a motel room for Thursday night, but she refused. My sister’s house is not very accessible, and my mother didn’t want to stay at her place, anyhow. So my sister was planning to come out at 7am on Friday morning! With that confirmed with my mother, we worked out that I will come out on Thursday afternoon to bag her fabric items and move furniture away from the walls in most of her apartment. My sister will have to do the stuff in my mother’s bedroom when she gets there, since the bedroom is so tiny, it can’t be done in advance and still have space for her to sleep. Plus, of course, her bedding needs to be bagged.

That finally worked out, I headed to the grocery store with her list. As I was getting her stuff, I noticed they had some sale prices on some things that were even better than in the city, and decided it was worth going back, later. I got my mother’s stuff and was at her place just as the social event was being set up and my mother was already in the lounge, so I took care of putting everything away. She didn’t like that I used the main doors (the other people would see her shopping), though. I used them because they have the automatic door openers that I can activate with my knee, rather than putting the bags down and fighting with keys and very heavy doors. After I put everything away, I started going down the hall to the lobby to say my goodbyes, only to have her meet me and tell me to leave out the other doors! 😄😄

Which was fine by me, but I found it very funny.

I went back to the grocery store for the third time (the cashiers were laughing at seeing me again!), got a few things that were sale. I got about $160 of stuff that would otherwise have cost me about $300 at regular prices in the city. More, if they were regular local prices! A quick stop at the gas station, and I was on my way home. I only had one more side trip, as my husband message me to let me know he had a notification that another package had arrived at the post office. As I was getting it, though, the postmaster had another package she hadn’t make a pick up slip for yet.

I love it when packages come in early!

By the time I got home, though, I was totally drained. While I took a break, my younger daughter headed outside to weed the third raised bed in the west yard for me.

With how things have been going, the past few days, I’d neglected to check on the squash seeds that were still pre-germinating. I remembered to check them this morning, and found little squidlings! So once I was done taking a break, I went to get them planted.

Squidlings! 😄😄

I had three 5″ biodegradable pots left from last year, so I used those for the three biggest seeds, and 4″ pots for the rest.

Because the seed leaves were already pushing themselves out of their shells, I planted them so that the leaf portions were partially emerged from the soil.

The previous batch of seeds I planted are still on the heat mat, and I can see little hills forming where the seedlings are starting to emerge, but these ones are far enough along, they don’t need to be on a heat mat. I did set the pots in water, though. The soil was premoistened, as always, but I want those pots to absorb water, so they don’t dry out the soil.

The gourds, meanwhile, have finally been moved to the mini greenhouse frame in the window.

The next thing that needed to be done was to pot up the early peppers from their tiny tray.

Yes, one pot looks completely empty. There was one cell that I didn’t think had any peppers germinating, but two seedlings started to show up this morning. I wasn’t going to leave just one cell in the tray, so I transplanted the stronger looking one, with as much of the soil around it as I could include. It’ll probably not survive being potted up, but you never know!

Most of the cells had just one seedling in them, but a few had two, and one had three. I thinned them to have just four seedlings (including the one that you can barely see in the vermiculite) per variety. With the hot peppers we already have, plus the Sweet Chocolate peppers, we have way more than we need, and can afford some losses.

At this point, we have pretty much run out of space in the living room for seedlings – and we don’t have anywhere near as many as we started last year! Tomorrow is supposed to be a warm and dry day, so I’m planning on snagging a daughter to help me empty the sun room, clean up the messes the critters left for us over the winter, then set things up for the transplants. The sun room is staying warm enough overnight that I think it’s safe to start moving them out of the living room set up.

Looking at the 10 day forecast, I’m seeing days forecast with highs above 20C/68F! At those temperatures, the sun room will probably be hitting closer to 30C/86F, so if we are we are able to start putting transplants there this week, we will have to make sure to have the ceiling fan going, and the doors wide open during the day.

The bed my daughter weeded today is also bowing out at the sides, to I’m hoping to fix that, tomorrow, then work some sulfur into the soil.

Oh, that reminds me; while at the hardware store, I found they had a sulfur powder available. This can apparently be dusted directly onto the plants, or added to a watering can, rather than being worked into the soil like the granular stuff we got. That might be worth getting later on, but I want to see how the beds do with the granular sulfur worked into the soil, first. Getting a bale of peat would be higher on the priority list right now, though.

For all the running around I was doing today, at least we got a few things accomplished at home, too!

The Re-Farmer

The things, and then more things

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I’m going to call this a mostly good, somewhat productive, somewhat frustrating day.

This afternoon, after checking the tracking information again to confirm I had five parcels to pick up at the post office, I headed out once it had reopened for the afternoon. A couple of them were in envelopes, but the others were in boxes. When the fifth one turned out to be the largest of them all, I left it to load the others into the truck, then came back for the last one. Just as I was picking it up, the postmaster quickly added a 6th parcel! There were 5 slips in my mail box, but she found one more! One that was expected to arrive tomorrow, it turns out. Thankfully, it was another bulky envelope, rather than a box.

So this was good. Especially since one of the packages that came in early was a heart monitor my husband got for himself. The kind you strap on while exercising. Our sulfur came in, so I was happy, too.

I was driving home when I heard a Messenger notification on my phone. I pulled into the yard to unload, but remembered to check the message before I went in.

I’m glad I did.

It was from my brother, who was at work. He’d gotten a call from the public housing department about my mother, since he is her Power of Attorney. He needed to talk to me, so I let him know I just got home, then got my daughters to unload and park the truck. I barely got to my office when the phone started ringing.

My poor brother.

The first thing that came up was that they had talked to my mother and asked for his number, since he’s PoA, but she told them she didn’t remember it. They got my brother’s number from me, but this was awhile ago! This is also not the first time my mother has done this. Which is strange, because she calls him herself, and has all our numbers written down in a list on her wall, along with postal addresses, birthdays and anniversaries.

The reason they were calling him, though, was about the bed bug situation. She got their notification that they’re coming in this Friday. My mother has been refusing to let them in for the last few times. This time, she called the number on the letter and talked to the exterminator, saying she didn’t want them coming in, and once again accusing them of theft. The guy would have had to tell the department about this, which leads us to the next issue.

They are coming in on Friday, and she has to have the place prepared – stuff moved away from the walls (difficult, given how tiny her place is), fabric items bagged up, etc. They will be coming in at around 9am, and she has to be gone all day (I believe they know she has respiratory issues, which means she needs to be out for at least 12 hours, instead of the usual 6 hours).

If she doesn’t do this, she will be evicted.

*sigh*

We’ve tried to warn her about this.

My poor brother was already having a stressful time at work, and now he had to deal with this on top of it!

One thing they will also do, though, is provide her with a special mattress cover that will kill off anything on her mattress that might have gotten missed, by denying oxygen.

We talked for a bit and, once he’s home from work, he’ll send a group email to the family. My suggestion was that I could go over on Thursday night to help with bagging things and moving furniture. The best thing would be for my mother to stay at my sister’s on Thursday night, since she has Fridays off, but I forgot that my sister works nights on Thursdays. I’ll be on my own for prepping her apartment. I’d be willing to drive my mother to my sister’s, but she would have to drive my mother back, since Friday will be our first city shopping day. Worse comes to worse, my mother could stay at the motel again, but she would have to check out by noon on Friday, unless she stays for 2 nights, and she would not be willing to do that.

She has no choice, though. She either goes along with this, or gets evicted.

One thing’s for sure. Since I’m the only one that will be able to go over to help her with her stuff on Thursday, I’ll be going straight to the shower, and my clothes to the wash, as soon as I get home!

My mother has zero understanding of just how much her behavior causes problems the rest of us have to fix, and now she’s putting her own housing at risk.

My brother couldn’t talk long, though, since he was already interrupting his work day, but we’ll connect again later today.

By the time I was off the phone, the girls had taken care of things and parked the truck, so I could get stuff together to go back outside and work on the carrot bed. It still had the plastic covered frame on it, so the first thing I did was add metal brackets to the corners before moving it. I most definitely could tell these brackets make a difference!

I was not intending to make another time lapse video of the progress, since I figured it would be pretty boring. I just took still shots of the progress, but I’ve since confirmed a frustration.

To make the photos I included in my previous post smaller, I cropped one, then reduced it to 50% original size. The two garden ones weren’t cropped, but I reduced those to 30%, plus I reduced the colours. Those two ended up being smaller file sizes than the 50% and cropped one. All the photos were uploaded to Google Photos, and inserted into my post from there. On my desktop, WP just tells me my storage is at 98% full, but the app gives decimal points, so when I had the chance, I checked on my phone to see if there was any change.

My storage went from 98.3% full to 98.5% full. Usually, I can upload many more than 3 photos before it goes up by even 0.1%, but for only 3 photos, greatly reduced in file size, to make it to up by 0.2%? Wth, WP?

Clearly, there is zero benefit to storing my images on Google Photo. I’ve tried embedding them, using the share link, etc., but instead of the images, the code shows instead.

So I guess I’ll make a vlog with the still shots, since it turned out to be a bigger job than I expected!

Very early on, though, I got an interruption. One of my daughters came out to let me know my mother had called; they were working in the kitchen and couldn’t get to the phone, but could hear my mother leave a message on the answering machine.

I considered calling her back later, but decided to do it right away.

*sigh*

When I got through to her, she was all chatty, asking how my cold was (I had started to feel one coming on, but that went away a while ago), before going on about how hers is no better (she sounds perfectly healthy), and it was so bad, she thought she was going to die, because of her breathing. At that point, I told her flat out, she says this every time, and it’s getting to the point where I don’t know whether to believe her or not. So she dropped it and instead said she called my sister and asked her to come and take “stuff”. Stuff? What kind of stuff? My mother hemmed and hawed before saying that my sister sews, so… then changed the subject. I guess she was trying to say fabric items? But I’ve helped pack her stuff into bags for previous bed bug spraying, so I don’t know what she’s talking about. With the way she hemmed and hawed before answering, then changing the subject, I suspect she’s trying to hide something from me, and intends to give my sister things that my only my brother, as her PoA, should be seeing.

Then she started asking if I knew about a distant relative that passed away, and I did, because my sister does genealogy stuff and shared the obituary online. My mother wanted me to go to the funeral on the weekend. I don’t know these people at all. I suggested my sister might go, since she’s the one who keeps track of all these relatives, but apparently she already said no, because the funeral is on the Sabbath. ??? I managed to preemptively cut off the possibility of my brother going, since he’s so incredibly busy already, and probably doesn’t even remember them anymore, giving how many decades it’s been since we’ve had any contact. Why my mother suddenly thought it was important for some member of the family to be there, I don’t know. We’ve had other distant relatives pass, and she was never like this before – though she did mention our vandal would probably be there, because apparently he’s friends with them, etc., etc. Okay. So then he should be there. Not me!

I finally got a chance to ask about her grocery status and it turns out that was why she was calling. Her fridge is empty, and she has only 1 bun left. Then she started telling me about the various things she was about to start cooking…

So did she want me to come over tomorrow?

Well, she’s making her list right now, and this and that and….

She would not commit to asking me to come over tomorrow, though when I asked if she wanted me to come over today, she said no. I kept trying to get more information out of her, like if she needed to go to the pharmacy or the bank or anywhere else, and she said now, but with much hesitation. So I finally just said, I’ll come over tomorrow, at the usual time. The usual time? Will I be bringing lunch? I told her that the last time I was at her grocery store, I saw they had the hot meals again, so I could pick up a couple and we’ll have them for lunch. She got downright excited about that!

As we were talking, I kept asking her, is there anything else you need? Anything else you want to tell me? Anything else that’s new?

Nothing came up about the exterminator notification letter or about Friday.

So I let it be. I’ll wait until my brother has had a chance to talk to her.

Which he has tried to do, while I was writing this, but there’s been no answer.

*sigh*

So that was quite the thing.

I’d told her from the start that I’d been working outside, so I finally brought the call to a close so I could get back to it. I think my mother was bored again. I do wish she wouldn’t wait until she’s running out of food, because calling me to help her with groceries! She refuses to do otherwise, though, telling me that if there’s food in the house, that means she has to eat it…

…

…

I never quite know how to take that. It’s not like she’s a glutton who sits around over eating all day, but she makes it sound like the mere act of eating food is a bad thing.

Anyhow.

I’ll be going there tomorrow, and we’ll see if she’s up to climbing into the truck to do her own shopping this time. With only one place to go, I think she might be up to it.

That done, it was back to working on the garden bed, which also involved pulling in the bowed out sides. I’ll do a vlog about that later. For now, I will say, I am really, really starting to hate those @#$@!% Chinese elms!!! Good grief!

I got it done, though, and even added sulfur to the soil at the end. It took way longer than it should have, but it’s done. Tonight, I’ll see if I can put together a vlog using my still shots, instead of posting any pictures. I suppose I could upload them to Instagram, but it seems not everyone can see them when I embed from Instagram, and I wouldn’t be able to explain what’s going on, anyhow.

I’d like to get more stuff done outside while the weather is good, but now I’m going to have to be at my mother’s at least 2 days this week, then on Friday I’m in the city.

This seems to be a constant pattern, pretty much since we’ve moved here. The more work we need to get on top of around here, the more external responsibilities end up taking priority. It seems to be getting worse, instead of better, to the point that we are falling behind rather than getting ahead. Such is life, but when it comes to things like my mother deliberately disrupting things and hurting people the way she does, it’s getting much harder not to get angry at her – and it takes a LOT to make me truly angry!

Thank God my brother is our “landlord” now. Otherwise, I know we would have moved out by now. Even the short time we were here and she still owned the property, we reached a point where we were seriously considering it. We would have put up with the financial hardship but, if we had, it would have caused more hardship for my brother than my mother, and none of us would have wanted that. He and his wife are the shining light of awesomeness that makes it all worthwhile!

Well, it’s getting late in the day. If I’m going to my mother’s tomorrow, and put a video together, I’d better get to it.

The Re-Farmer

This day feels longer than it should! 😁

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First, the cuteness.

We haven’t named this one, but that pattern over his nose makes me think of Nosencrantz, every time I see him!

Nosencratnz is doing well at her new home, btw. 😊

I counted 32 yard cats this morning. Remarkably, while I was petting a bunch of the males as they ate on the cat house roof, Broccoli not only allowed me to pet her, but even pushed her way through the boys to get better pets! Even Caramel let me pet her, in between trying to bite my hand.

Yesterday evening, I got a call from my mother, and arranged for me to come over today to help her with her shopping. This morning, however, I got another call from her. She had a rough night, and wanted me to decide for her, whether she should go to the clinic in her town. At least she wasn’t talking about going to the emergency! That would have been in the nearer city. After talking to her for a bit, it seems that she had issues with heartburn again, but my mother can’t quite understand what that means, and always tries to blame whatever food the TV or magazines tell her is bad. We talked for a while and I reminded her of the list of foods that can make it worse. I remember she had it taped to a cupboard door in her kitchen at some point, but I have no idea if it’s still there. She keeps insisting on eating foods that are known to cause heart burn, though, then blames other foods that don’t, but that she has decided are bad for her. It’s really hard to talk to her about this stuff, because she can’t understand so much, including basic anatomy. We have tried to explain things to her, even showing her diagrams or looking up medical information, but if it doesn’t match what she had decided it is, she doesn’t accept it and promptly forgets it.

One thing that did seem to finally get through was talking about processed meats. She keeps trying to say she needs to eat less meat. If it weren’t for the meat we’ve been bringing over for her, she’d be eating nothing but garlic sausage and deli chicken. At least she eats eggs! I spent some time talking about how, as we get older, it’s important for us to eat high quality protein, and some of the ingredients in processed meats might be triggering her heartburn. She seemed to actually hear me for a change.

Still, what she wanted was for me to decide it I “wanted” to take her to the doctor or not. I told her no, that’s her decision, and we’ll see how she feels when I got there!

So I left I bit earlier and picked up Chinese food for lunch, which she actually did eat. As we were talking on the phone, she’d mentioned going there for onion rings (she still thinks they serve cat meat, because someone said something, and she saw a thing on the news …. ). Onions are among the things she shouldn’t be eating. Deep fried foods are also among the things she shouldn’t be eating!

She hadn’t had breakfast, though, so she was happy for the meal!

There was one unfortunate surprise, though.

When I reached her door, I saw some things on her walker, which she parks next to it. There was a jar wrapped in paper two, a carton of eggs, and two carrots.

Under it was a piece of paper.

I immediately recognized our vandal’s handwriting.

It seems he’d swung by her place, left the stuff, but never knocked or anything like that. Who knows how long it was sitting there.

I brought the stuff inside and ended up reading the letter out to her. It was all the usual stuff about the farm and me and my brother, some invented accusations, and how she’s going against the wishes of my late father and GOD!!! Complete with underlines. Then he threw in a comment about going to the doctor. From past calls he’d made to her, before his number was finally blocked, he told her he was dying, but didn’t say from what. He still seems to think she can give him the farm somehow? Either way, it’s clear he still thinks the property should go to him, but 1) he already has a farm and 2) if he’s dying, what’s he going to do with it, anyhow? It’s not like he’s got any kids to leave it to.

Our theory is, he’d simply sell it. It’s the money he’s really interested in.

The paper towel wrapped jar turned out to be soup in what looked like a small mayonnaise jar – at least it wasn’t a pickled herring jar this time! My mother was so disgusted after hearing what was in the letter, she didn’t want any of it. At least not anything that he cooked (it was full of onions and chunks of sausage, anyhow!).

Instead, we enjoyed our Chinese food and had a good conversation. She was feeling a lot better once she was up and out of bed, and I talked some more about how sleeping more upright can be a help (another thing that’s on the list I made for her, along with food choices). It would be really helpful for her to have a hospital bed, like my husband – it would even be better for her and her knees – but no. She doesn’t want to “bother anyone”. ?? In our province, our home care service department can provide a hospital bed as a “loan” – that way, if anything breaks or whatever, they simply replace it. The company they get these from sends a couple of people over to bring it in, assemble it and test it out. Easy peasy. But no. She even has a chair my brother bought for her that can be reclined almost flat and would be good to use as a sleep chair, but she won’t do that, either.

As we were talking about how being upright and moving around obviously helped out, she then suggested that if she hadn’t gotten out of bed this morning, she probably would have died.

*sigh*

She was clearly feeling better, but not enough to run errands, so we went over her list. She writes her stuff out in a mix of English, Polish or English with Polish spelling. Then she makes little doodles of what they are, beside each item.

I was very confused when I saw “soup” followed by an =, a drawing of a jar, another =, then a drawing of a cup.

It turns out, she meant “soap”.

For dishes.

We had a good laugh over that!

One thing I did take note of was that she included “turkey or chicken”, but not sliced, with a doodle of a deli chicken.

I can’t even wrap my mind around how she spelled “sliced” enough to remember it!

It’s been a while, and a longer list than usual, so I was hitting both the pharmacy and the grocery store to get it all. Which is fine by me.

My only problem is, I think I messed up with my new shoes. Wearing thinner socks has helped, but only with one foot. My other foot could have used a half size bigger. Not that there was any half sizes to choose from. Normally, I’d be confident that the shoe would eventually stretch out a bit, but I’m not sure how far the steel toe extends. I might be hooped. I won’t return them. I’m not going to take back shoes I’ve already worn in the mud. Ah, well. Live and learn! I’ll work it out, but gosh, it got pretty painful by the time I was done! The main thing is, my mother is now well stocked again, and I was even able to get her a variety of fresh meat in single person size packages, instead of the processed meats she usually gets!

As I was heading home, I remembered to stop at a hardware store. I got metal corner supports to put on the corners of our raised bed covers.

In other garden related things, I got a notification today that our T&T Seeds order of potatoes got shipped today, and should arrive tomorrow!

These are the varieties we ordered; 1kg of Purple Caribe and 2kg of German Butterball.

I wasn’t expecting them to be shipped so soon! The space we will be planting them was still mostly covered with snow, this morning. It was warm enough today that it’s almost all gone, but the ground is probably still quite frozen. Of course, they don’t need to be planted right away; they can be stored for a little while, at least, but perishables like this get shipped based on the local growing zone, which means they really should be going into the ground soon!

The potatoes are not the only things that are on the way. My husband ordered a hand crank for my crossbow. I have not been able to use it for a frustrating reason. I’m too short to cock the bow, using the rope cocking aid that came with it. Basically, it’s got a pair of hooks you place on the string, with a matching pair of handles. With the bow secured with a foot, you bend over the stock, pull the sting with your arms, then straighten up. Once upright, the string should be far enough along to lock in place.

I’m too short.

I even tried shortening the cords on the ropes of the cocking aid, but there’s only so far you can do that without compromising the gear. My husband can cock it but, with his back injury, he can only do it a few times before it becomes too painful.

The hard part has been finding a hand crank that will fit the model of crossbow I have. There was one made for it, but it was discontinued shortly after I bought mine! It took a couple of years, but my husband finally found one that is supposed to work on my model – and was affordable!

So that should arrive soon.

If Fed Ex can figure out the address.

It might just end up at the store the post office is in. We shall see!

I look forward to finally being able to practice again!

Anyhow.

That’s a few of the things going on today.

Tomorrow, the septic guy comes in to replace the pill switch!

I’m so excited! 😄😄😄

Besides that, I think the ground is thawed out enough that I can continue working on that bed along the chain link fence. I was able to pry out the last chunk of broken sidewalk block that was under the one end, but that was it. We hit 12C/54F today, so that should have helped a lot. We’ll see how tomorrow is. We’re expected to have a high of 9C/48F, with possible rain.

Rain would be good. I even drove through rain on my way home from my mother’s today!

Maybe not so good if it comes while the septic guy is working on our tank, though!

We shall see.

Lots to do outside, as things keep warming up, and that now includes preparing the potato patch!

The Re-Farmer