Today, I finally made it to my mother’s apartment. My brother and SIL had already done a huge amount. My focus was on stuff that I needed to bring here, that WON’T go into the storage buildings. Antique books. Kitchen supplies, some of which are part of sets still here on the farm. Lots of fragile stuff.
On the way out, my first stop was actually our post office. My husband’s disabled parking permit expires next month, so we had to mail in a form and $15 for a new one. With that taken care of, it was off to my mother’s apartment, which is typically about a 25 minute drive, with good road conditions.
Road conditions were good, but I was watching that oil pressure gauge slowly dropping, the drive in. By the time I got to my mother’s, it was right on the line between “normal” and “low” ranges.
Crud. With a day like today, I don’t think I can blame a cold sensor anymore.
Once at my mothers, I brought in a whole bunch of hard sided grocery bags, as the things I would be packing would be unpacked fairly quickly. Putting them in the grocery bags ensures we won’t procrastinate, since we’ll need them for our stock up shopping!
The next while was spent going through things, packing things into the bags I brought, going through a couple of boxes my brother and SIL packed and switching things over (I’m the only one in the family that has any interest in my mother’s antique crochet and embroidered items, most of which were made by her aunt). I also found some remotes, one of which I was to bring home, the other my brother needs to grab.
While I was there, someone started to come in the door – while I was in the washroom, of course! – calling out. It turned out to be the social worker from the Senior’s Centre. Perfect! She was able to take the flat folding walker they’d loaned my mother. It turns out, they also take care of the Lifeline equipment, which my brother had carefully packed all together. She took that and would take care of cancelling the account. I told her it was already suspended, so my mother wasn’t being charged full price.
After a while, I headed out to the truck with a couple of bags, then took the time to check the oil level.
It was low. Very low.
!!!
After the issues we had before, I now keep several bottles of oil and a funnel in the truck. There was one that was about 3/4 full, so I added that. I checked the oil after, and the level was in range.
Over the next while, I packed more things and took them to the truck, in stages, I ran the engine every now and then. Pressure seemed okay for a parked vehicle.
Along with packing, I was able to empty the fridge completely, and did as much cleaning as my wrecked knees would allow. Then I popped the stove’s to up so I could scrub underneath, where there was an old burned spill. Last of all, I gathered up the old prescription medications that were found, so I could take them to the pharmacy for proper disposal.
In the end, I was there for about 4 hours. I packed the truck with three boxes my brother and SIL had packed that I’d added to, plus another 7 hard sided grocery bags.
We’re doing to have to store this stuff in the basement until we can figure out what to do with them! A project for later this evening, since we need to unpack those grocery bags. I’ll need them, for our city stock up shops.
The first of which was supposed to be tomorrow.
Not going to happen.
I stopped at the pharmacy to drop off the old meds and let them know they would no longer be doing my mother’s bubble packs. So that file will go from being suspended to being cancelled, though of course we can still access her records, if needed.
Then I headed home.
Watching that oil gauge slowly dropping, the whole way.
I’d already texted our mechanic about the oil level being low and adding 3/4L, and asking about the possibility of bringing it in to look for a leak. Also, about that Journey he had on the lot he’d mentioned to me, yesterday…
I don’t know that we can wait until spring to do the trade in.
When I got home, he’d responded, asking me to keep an eye on the oil levels for the next while. I answered saying that I was home, telling him the pressure was dropping the whole drive back, and that I would check it again after unloading.
After unloading, I pulled half way into the garage, so I had room to access everything.
The oil level was low.
Just barely touching the “fill” line.
I added another half liter.
I messaged the garage before heading inside then phoned him once was was settled in.
I now have an appointment to bring it in on Thursday morning for them to see what’s going on. I won’t be doing any city trips until this is figured out.
As for that Journey… it actually does look right for our needs, though obviously there are things we can do with a truck that it can’t do. It’s a 2017 and high mileage, but anything that’s in our budget is going to be high mileage.
Its selling price is actually lower than what we still owe on the truck, I think.
Of course, I kept my brother and SIL in the loop, and my SIL wondered about using my mother’s car as a trade in.
I will need to confirm that possibility with my brother, since my mother owns half the car with me and, as her PoA, he will be the one to deal with. He might simply transfer full ownership to me to make it easier. My mother has been telling us to sell her car for years, so that would work for her, too.
Of course, no decisions are going to be made for a while, but we need to think about it. I don’t even know if we can get refinancing, though if we have two vehicles to trade in, with one owned outright, that would help. We simply can’t afford the truck. They did the best they could to get us an amazing price – I’m convinced it was sold to us at a loss – but once the taxes were added, that kicked it over, and the monthly payments have been higher than what our upper limit was. We had no choice, and it really has been hurting us financially. Not just the payments, but all the sometimes bizarre issues that have come up with the truck that have cost so much.
Speaking of which, that check engine like turned off on its own again.
I love the truck, but I will never own a GM vehicle again! Not even the Uplander gave us more grief, and the dealership screwed us over on that one. Still, I was able to buy the Uplander using my debit card. Beggars can’t be choosers!
Well, we shall see.
Tomorrow, I won’t be going anywhere. Hopefully, my sister will be able to make it to my mother’s apartment and take the things intended for her place. On the weekend, my brother is going to have to dig his own truck out of the snow and see if it starts! Depending on how things go with our truck on Thursday, we might be relying entirely on his truck to get my mother’s furniture out.
For now, I’m going to stop writing this and enjoy the supper my daughters made. 😊
Then we need to set up a sort of assembly line to get the boxes and bags into the basement, and away from cats!
Well, today’s focus has been on making sure the truck was okay. We depend on it so much!
Things warmed up slowly all night, and it was heading towards -20C/-4F when I headed out to do my morning routine, then went to see if the truck would start.
It did, thankfully. It didn’t even make those noises it made, yesterday. The battery gauge was right up there, though it dropped to normal fairly shortly, as the engine compartment warmed up.
I let it run for a bit, then headed back in. By about noon, we reached our expected high of -15C/5F, and I headed out again. This time, I drove the truck around the driveway and yard a bit. When I pulled into the garage, I made sure to leave enough space so I could open the hood. First, I did another scan. This time, only one code came up, and not the one that had me concerned. This is the one we’re pretty sure is a sensor affected by the cold.
That done, I popped the hood and listened to the engine, getting a short video to send to my brother. Aside from the idle getting very slow, everything seemed normal.
My next test was to wait until the post office reopened in the afternoon, and pick up the mail.
While waiting, I got a call from the hospital. They had called last night, too. My mother has been getting her Pepto regularly – during our meeting with the doctor, we all recognized it seems to have a placebo affect on her, and she was running out. We still have the extra bottles my brother had bought for her that made her so angry. If the truck was running well, I could bring one for her today.
The trip to the post office went perfectly normal. I had a surprise parcel waiting for me. Thanks, M, for the live animal trap! Hopefully, we’ll be able to make good use of it! Also, CZ, we finally got your Christmas card! 😄
From there, I headed home, dropped off the mail and parcels, grabbed a bottle of Pepto and headed to town.
I didn’t get far when I noticed something of concern.
The oil pressure gauge dropped significantly. Not enough trigger any alarms from the onboard computer, but enough to concern me. Especially after we had so much trouble before. Since that seal was replaced, we haven’t had any issues.
I seriously considered turning around and going home but decided against it. Town, after all, is where our garage is. I could stop there and talk them them about it.
The other reason I considered turning around was the weather. We had high winds from the north, blowing snow off the fields. I could see the road starting to drift over and, in places, it was whiteout conditions.
Once in town, I made a quick stop at the hospital. I dropped the Pepto off at the nursing station and asked them to extend my apologies to my mother for not visiting and why. I’m not sure she got the message, but they understood why I couldn’t just quickly say hi and left. It would have agitated her quite a bit.
Then I headed for the garage – and the oil gauge was pretty much where it was supposed to be, during the short trip!
When I got to the garage, I was happy to see the owner was in the office today. He’s been working at their new location quite a bit, so I’ve been missing him.
We had a good talk about things. He hadn’t even had a chance to look at the scan results I’d texted him yet. I told him I did another scan this morning and showed him the results. He agreed that it was likely because of the cold, and not a concern.
Then I told him about what happened on the way into town, with the oil pressure dropping. Would that also be because of the cold?
Yeah, pretty much. Particularly for our make and model. The sensor in most vehicles is located near the air filter. In our truck, it’s located off to the side, and in a corner. With the temperatures we’ve been having, the oil gets sluggish and, so far off to the side where it is, the sensor reads differently than if it were closer. As long as our oil level is fine, there is no concern.
He laughed when I explained why I haven’t been able to check the oil recently. If the truck is pulled into the garage enough to close the door, we can’t open the hood. There’s no room to access the front.
That lead me to start talking about the possibility of a trade in. I’d messaged about it, and even talked to one of his employees that worked on our truck while he was at their other location, and he was aware of it. I told him, we just can’t keep up with all these sensor issues. The inside handle of the driver’s side door broke off and we haven’t been able to fix it, because the budget kept having to be used for so many other things. As much as we like the truck, we can’t afford it.
What we’d talked about before, when we were first thinking to get another minivan, was the possibility of an SUV. It seems that trucks and minivans tend to cost a lot more – even older, high mileage ones like ours – but SUVs are easier to find and cost less, second hand. He knows our need for something accessibility and fitting a walker.
I’m not going to do anything until spring, though, which he totally understood. He will, however, keep us in mind as he acquires new second hand vehicles. There was a Dodge Journey right there that he suggested might fit our needs. I’ve looked it up since then and I tend to agree.
Then I talked about my mother’s car. He remembers it – he certainly did a lot of work on it! I explained that I stopped driving it when it made a loud banging noise in the back, but just this past summer, my brother checked it out and could find nothing wrong. It’s purring like a kitten, and no sign of anything to cause that noise. We’re looking to sell it. After talking about it for a bit, he said we could bring it in. He can go over it, check things out, and safety it, and let us know what we could expect to get for it.
It’s not going to be much.
Again, this will happen in the spring.
I left the garage, much relieved.
The grocery store is across the street, so that was my next stop. I had a short list but, with the weather – and funds my daughter sent me – I was able to make a larger shop. Then it was a quick stop at the gas station to fill the tank before heading home.
I’m really glad I didn’t stay longer with a visit to my mother. Heading home meant driving on the side that was starting to drift over. It wasn’t too bad, yet, but that clearly wasn’t going to last much longer.
I was quite glad to get home!
I have to admit, I’m increasingly paranoid when it comes to our transportation. A few years ago, when we still had the minivan, we got slammed with a series of polar vortexes all through January and February. Our van froze, as did my mother’s car. We couldn’t go anywhere for almost 2 months. The van came through fine, once it warmed up again. The first winter we had with this truck, we couldn’t even plug in the block heater, as the plug turned out to be missing, and it handled the cold just fine. So I really shouldn’t be this anxious about the truck. Yet, we’ve had so many problems with so many different vehicles, I can’t help myself.
Well, I’m going to have to get over it. I need to get to my mother’s apartment and start bringing things here. After my sister grabs what she’s supposed to take to her place, next weekend is when we’re going to have to empty the apartment and bring the rest of the stuff, including furniture, here. Before that, my brother has to break their snow blower out, so he can access his own truck, plus clear access to the storage house and the warehouse – both of which are already so full with my parent’s belongings. The more I can bring back here in advance, the easier it will be to finish the job.
Meanwhile, it a couple of days, I expect to be heading into the city for our first stock up shopping trip for next month.
I need to do a lot of driving.
I pray the truck will be up to it. Intellectually, I’m sure it will be, but there’s that part of my that’s constantly concerned something else is going to go wrong!
Get three cats to the vet for spay/neuter. That’s an hour’s drive one way, so we were going to drop them off, then stay in the (smaller, nearer) city to do any shopping we needed until we got the call to pick up the cats. Typically, that’s been around 1 or 2, though I’ve have them call me before noon at times.
Once the cats were picked up, we’d take them home, I’d drop them and our shopping off with my daughter, then I would go to my mother’s apartment in the town south of us, check on things, clean her fridge, pick up the wheelchair the hospital requested, then go to the town north of us, to my mother’s in the hospital. They want to measure her in it and see if it’s appropriate to go with her to a personal care home, whenever that happens.
After dropping off the wheelchair, I planned to visit with my mother for a while. Due to her cognitive issues, she was not told that there was an appointment at 6pm with my brother, as PoA, the doctor and myself, as her advocate for the past 7+ years. From there, I expected to go home.
Of course, that didn’t happen.
Well. Part of it happened.
The first thing to do was get three fasting cats from the isolation shelter, into carriers. We really, really wanted to get Frank. She was perched on the shelf above the cat bed, in the middle, where it was hard for either of us to reach her from the sliding windows. She did get close enough that my daughter could get her, but I couldn’t get around to get the carrier closer before Frank escaped.
Frank does NOT want to get got!
Thankfully, my daughter did not end up bleeding. (Side note: I finally found the scratch proof gauntlets today! They were hiding in plain sight, of course….)
So we grabbed who we could. That turned out to be Sir Robin, who is extremely easy to get got, Grommet, also and easy one, and a grey tabby with no name, because it was the biggest of the remaining cats in the shelter.
Oh, and we had 7 cats and kittens in there to fast overnight, not 8. I was sure there was a second tabby kitten in there, but I was wrong.
The tabby was not happy. This is a kitten we’ve been able to pet and pick up, but nowhere near as socialized as the other two. We were 99% sure this one was male. We’ve got several similar looking, short haired, grey tabbies that move around so much, I’m never quite sure if I’m looking at the same one twice.
Our goal was to be on the road by 7:30, to get to the clinic for 8:30, though our drop off time was 8:50.
We did manage to be on the road by 7:30, but with road conditions in places, we per parking at the clinic closer to 8:45. Which is why I always like to leave early!
During the drive in, I brought up that we needed a name for the tabby. Neither of us could think of one right away, but while checking them in, my daughter came up with Flopsy, because when we pick him up, that’s how he gets. Flopsy.
Once the cats were checked in and taken to the back, my daughter and I headed over to the Walmart and had breakfast at the McRaunchies there. It was shortly after 9am by then.
After breakfast, we did our shopping. With the polar vortex expected to hit soon, we had a few things we wanted to restock on, plus we found extras. That will get its own post later, since it did turn out to be a larger shop.
I got a message from my husband that one of my packages is in, so I added picking that up on my list of things to do after dropping off the cats at home.
When packing things into the box of the truck, we were selectively packing things into insulated bags to prevent them from freezing, rather than the other way around.
Of course, since I needed to get up and get on the road early in the day, I had an almost sleepless night. I was pretty tired, so we warmed up the truck and just stayed in it, while I tried to nap a bit. We had to turn the truck on to warm up again only once in that time.
After a while, though, I needed to use the washroom, so I headed back into the Walmart, while my daughter stayed in the truck. I hadn’t realized, while I was napping, that the weather had already started to turn. A huge wind had picked up, and there was blowing snow, everywhere. Not new snow. The wind was picking up any loose snow out there, and the parking lot was in whiteout conditions!
I headed in for a few minutes then decided to go to a Dollarama that shares the same parking lot. I found a few things there before rejoining my daughter in the truck.
By this time, it was well past noon and I was expecting to get a call from the clinic soon. My daughter needed her turn to use the facilities, so we both went in and ended up finding a few more things to purchase. Once we were done there, we decided we may as well go to the clinic. We could be in their waiting room instead of the truck, and it wouldn’t be too long, right?
Right?
We got there before 2, only to find out they hadn’t even started on any of the kittens yet.
Keep in mind, these poor things had been fasting for about 17 hours by then. It turned out the clinic had a couple of large dogs needing surgery that took more time, so doing the kittens got delayed.
Now, I hadn’t bothered to tell them that I had a 6pm appointment, because… well… it was at 6pm, and we dropped off at 8:45-8:50am. They know we hang out in town because of the long drive, and they’ve always made a point to do our cats quickly because of that.
Not this time!
When I found out the cats hadn’t been started yet, I told them that I had a scheduled appointment. I was assured the cats would be read by 4. I explained, it’s not just the appointment, but that I was needing to drop the cats of at home in our little hamlet, then drive to one town to pick up a wheelchair (forget cleaning out the fridge, at this point!) and take it to the hospital in yet another town.
I was told they would try to get them done as soon as possible.
So we sat to wait.
Next to a couple of adorable kittens in a cat cage that were available for adoption. While there, a tech came to get them and return them several times, and we learned that they were about to be adopted out together! So glad they are staying together.
It was about quarter past three when a tech came out. They were about to start on Sir Robin the Brave, but he had messed himself in the carrier (they’ve been in carriers all this time?? They usually get transferred to larger cages!), and his back end was a dried up mess. She confirmed that these were outdoor cats and that they would be going outside again, so they would try to wash him off as best they could, rather than just shave the area. Easier and faster to shave, but no one wants to risk him getting frostbite on his nethers!
Which means they didn’t actually start the surgery until probably half past three.
We could hear the techs talking at one point, probably while still trying to wash off Sir Robin, and heard them giggle with delight over his full name.
Then we waited.
When 4:00 came and went, I was messaging my brother to warn him I might be late.
Finally, at about 4:20, someone came out to let us know the cats were done. Still groggy, but awake enough that we could take them. We got the instructions (we’ll keep them in the isolation shelter for at least 3 days) and the carriers were brought out. I’d already left the donation funds with the front desk when we checked them in, so we could leave immediately. My daughter and I loaded the carriers and were on our way.
Thankfully, by this time, the winds had died down a little bit, and there wasn’t as much blowing snow. I was able to do the speed limit for most, not all, of the drive.
Once we got home, my daughter got out to open the gate, but left it open for me as I drove into the yard and up to the house. I started unloading our shopping just to the front steps until my daughter caught up and helped me. Once the truck box was empty, we unloaded the carriers. Then my daughter took over while I headed back out again.
I just barely made it in time.
I had just parked at the hospital when I got a message from my brother. They had just arrived themselves, were set up in a family room for the meeting, and told me where it was.
The doctor was a few minutes later, so we had time to catch up and focus on what we were trying to find out, etc.
At one point, my SIL asked, how do we respond if they try to send my mother home again?
My answer was simple.
No.
That’s it. Just, no. They can’t send her home. Homecare is not reliable, and I can’t be driving that distance – especially in winter! – to cover for them so often.
Thankfully, that never became an issue.
The doctor came in and actually recognized us, from when my mother was in the hospital almost a year ago. There was a nurse as well, who was also the note taker for the hospital (my brother took his own notes, of course. He’s very organized that way).
We had a very good and, I would even say productive, meeting.
One thing is clear. The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.
They knew nothing about the panels done by home care – I was there for both of them, including the one that was done before my mother went to the hospital – even though the report would have gone up to the same department the hospital has to go through when it comes to long term care assessment. He was able to let us know what was found in my mother’s X-rays that were finally done, though it wasn’t “official” since the radiology department still had to review them. As expected, she has severe osteoarthritis. That’s the source of her pain. He did not have access to my mother’s MRI brain scan results, but he could work on getting them.
We were very confused when he started talking about my mother’s congenital heart disease as the cause of her edema, when she’s been seen by a cardiologist, and her heart checked out better than most people a quarter her age.
Oh, wow. I just went out to meet the prescription delivery driver. That wind out there is BRUTAL!!!
Where was I?
Oh, yes.
So the doctor explained that they use the term “congenital heart disease” to cover a lot of things. In my mother’s case, it’s her A-fib, which she’s had forever (I have it, too). It has never been a problem. Now, however, he basically described it as the upper chambers of her heart being in a constant quiver, while the lower chambers are pumping normally, when it used to be just a little hiccup now and then. To put it simply, her heart is getting tired and misfiring more. This is what my father got a pace maker for, but she’s not at that stage. It didn’t come up as an option, though; we all know that at her age, surgery would be a greater risk than the A-fib is right now. That her heart is otherwise strong and healthy and all her arteries are clear helps, but it won’t stop the edema.
In the end, my mother has two issues going that mean she can no longer go back to her apartment to live independently, even with home care. There’s the edema, and the OA, and right now, the OA is causing her so much pain and reducing her mobility, it’s actually the more severe issue.
Then he had to get our consent (which they already got from my mother) to do a panel for my mother to go to a personal care home.
…
YES!!!!
Good grief. We’ve begging for this from the start.
So the official hospital testing and paperwork will be done and go to the department that makes the decisions. Because 1) my mother’s level of care doesn’t need hospital status, 2) she’s bored out of her tree and 3) they need the bed for more urgent patients, my mother will probably be transferred to a temporary long term care facility – she may even be back in the same town her apartment is in! – before being transferred to the nursing home she’s been trying to get into for the past 2 years or so. Even then, she might get transferred to a different one before she get get into the one she wants. Once she’s in a long term care facility, even a temporary one, there will be more programs and activities available to her, so she won’t be stuck sitting in her room, day after day.
We did also have a chance to discuss some other issues related to our vandal and that he might try to convince my sister to help him manipulate my mother. He’d managed to do this with my late father. Right now, the one thing protecting my mother from her own self sabotage is that my brother has binding PoA, so even if she is declared mentally unfit, he can take care of her. They already understand that, at this point, cognitively she cannot make things like legal decisions on her own, but they will get her officially tested and assessed, so that there is documentation. This way, even if they do convince her to sign something, it won’t be legally binding. My mother, with my sister’s help (“I was just following her wishes”, was her explanation) has already messed herself up so badly in other areas, she has no clue what she’s done and, legally, my brother can’t fix it. They also want photos of our vandal and my sister to have with my mother’s file, so they can recognize them as people with limited access to my mother.
I’m so disappointed that my sister got manipulated into it, and is completely oblivious to the harm she has helped cause. Honestly, I have concerns about my sister’s cognitive health, too. But she’s skinny, and we all know skinny people are perfectly healthy and never have such problems, even if she is almost 70.
Yeah, I’m being sarcastic, but that is essentially what I’ve been told flat out, in different ways.
So then we got to talking about my mother’s apartment. She’s not going back, we know that, but until the panel process officially declares that, it’s recommended we don’t end that contract yet. However, it’s basically 99.99% sure the panel application will accept that she needs to be in a personal care home, so go ahead and start packing. We can basically cancel her services while we pack and empty the apartment, little by little, so that once that official word comes through (and we don’t know how long that will be), all we would need to do is cancel her rental agreement with public housing.
That all done, we parted ways, then went to visit my mother. She was very surprised to see us (we learned my sister did visit earlier, as today is her non-sabbath related day off), and happy, too. Which was a nice change.
The visit was… about as good as can be. She was in a good mood and I think her pain levels are under control, as she had only a few “moments”. We updated her on the status of things, as best we could. We explained the importance of her accepting any transfer they offer her, because it’s part of the whole process of getting her where she wants to be.
Which was when she started talking about “going home”. Meaning, her apartment.
*sigh*
We had to go over that with her again. I expect we’ll have to do it many more times. The doctor, thankfully, is quite aware of her self sabotage. Sadly, this is something they encounter quite a bit.
While talking about temporary long term care and getting her to where she wants to be, she told us about someone that was across the hall from her. He was doing very poorly, they had to wrap his legs, there was always someone having to tend to him…
He just got transferred to the nursing home my mother wants to be in.
She was upset that he got in before she did.
…
We had to explain (again) that people who get taken to nursing homes more suddenly, it’s because they’re not expected to live long. People who are in far worse shape than she is in.
Her complete lack of empathy threw us, even though she does it all the time.
Things got off track a few times, but that did give me a chance to bring out a gift I got for my mother.
My mother has always loved to draw and is really quite good. She doodles all over. So I got her this.
An actual sketch pad, rather than the envelopes and scrap paper she’s been using, with tear off pages, and colouring pencils that don’t need to be sharpened. She already has pen and pencil.
I know it’s harder for her, with her vision getting worse, but she might have some good days and feel up to it. Or just be bored enough to try!
I honestly expected her to be angry, as she usually is when I try to give her things, but she was actually almost nice about it. She just commented on how she can’t really draw anymore, but we encouraged her.
We talked about her apartment, and she started telling us what to do with things. We had to reassure her, she didn’t have to worry about the “stuff”, we would take care of them, and we know she doesn’t want things thrown out (unless they are damaged or broken or course).
By the time we headed out, it was coming up on 8pm. I’d left home around 7:30, had breakfast somewhere before 9:30, and the only thing I’d eaten since then was a handful of cashews and a chocolate bar we’d picked up as road munchies, on the way home from picking up the neutered cats. I had hoped to stop somewhere to eat before going home, but it was so late and I was so tired, I just got some gas and headed home.
Just as I pulled up to the last stop sign, a couple of miles from home, the check engine light on the truck turned on.
*sigh*
I wasn’t about to check on it when I got home. My daughters, sweethearts that they are, had hot food almost ready for me by the time I got in.
What a long, long day, and I didn’t get anywhere near as much done as I had hoped.
I got to bed early (for me, anyhow), and woke up to this.
Yeah, that’s -31C/-24F with a wind chill of -46C/-51F
It could be worse. Some areas of our province were warned of wind chills of -50C/-58F.
That’s what I saw before heading outside to do the cat stuff, skipping most of my morning routine. By the time I got back inside, the temperature had dropped to -32C/-26F. When I headed out to meet the pharmacy delivery guy, it was back to -31C/-24F with the wind chill at -45C/-49F
The outside cats got their kibble and warm water. Even the heated water bowl in the sun room had some ice on top, and the one in the isolation shelter had frost on the edge closest to the window!
The isolation cats were all snuggled together in the cat bed. Last night, my daughter let out the “extras” that wanted to be let out, so there are now four teenagers in there right now. While I was doing the kibble and water, my older daughter gave the isolation cats a couple of cans of wet cat food. The benefits of being locked up in there is special food treats, which won’t freeze before they finish eating it.
It was still at -32C/-26F when I headed out again in the late morning. I got the truck going – it started fine and nothing sounds out of the ordinary – to get the OBDII scanner hooked up. I got the same code as last time; air-fuel ratio imbalance. Top recommendation is to replace the oxygen sensor. The other code concerns me more, though; power mode master input circuits mismatch. The top reported fix for that is replacing the ignition switch, while the next frequently reported fix is, replaced ignition switch wiring harness.
I’ve sent screen caps of the scans to our garage. I’m not as concerned about the O2 sensor. That seems to be temperature related, as it went away on its own, last time. Both code frequencies are listed as “common” for our truck’s make and model. I’ve looked up the parts and they don’t seem to be expensive, though these wouldn’t be local prices.
*sigh*
We really don’t need this. It’s the price of having an older, high mileage vehicle, but it was what we could afford and get financing for. Still, I’m so tired of these sensor issues – which apparently GM is notorious for.
Thankfully, we won’t need to go anywhere for several days. Today is supposed to be the worst for both cold and wind. Things are supposed to be a bit warmer, but still brutal, over the next three days. After that, we’ll have more average temperatures, with highs hovering above and below -20C/-4F.
Interestingly, the long range forecast is showing a whole lot of days above freezing, in February! February is usually colder than January. At least in the first couple of weeks. If the forecasts are in any way accurate, today and the next few days will be the last deep freeze of this winter.
I sure hope they are right. I so feel for the people that have to drive and work outside in these temperatures! Not to mention the critters out there. I’m glad we can at least provide some worth and reliable food and water for the yard cats – and whatever creature cleaned out every crumb of kibble in the catio shelter!
The plow went by, increasing the snow ridge at the end of the driveway. It really wasn’t that bad and we could have driven through. The problem is, between the plow ridges and the driving, the end of the driveway was getting narrower and narrower. I needed to get that opened up, before the next polar vortex hits.
I love that ice scraper. It does a bang up job of cutting through hard packed plow ridge snow!
Technically, today was warmer, and there was less wind, but even a slight breeze brought was was -20C/-4F to a “real feel” of -31C/-24F. I was well bundled but, by the end of it, my toes and finger tips were starting to feel it!
While I was out there, my mother called from the hospital. I didn’t see my daughter’s message until I was putting things away, almost an hour later. My mother apparently sounded frustrated.
So when I called back, I made sure to talk to the nurse, first. I found out that she has been refusing her afternoon pain meds. Because she’s been in so much pain with her back, and the Voltaren wasn’t enough anymore, they now have she scheduled to take painkillers 3 times a day, instead of “as needed”. She’s apparently been having better days and saying no to the pills.
When talking to her about it later, she told me, she’s taking so many pills! Which makes it sound like it isn’t that she’s in less pain, but that she just doesn’t want to take another pill.
*sigh*
I asked the nurse about my mother getting Xrays, but she could find nothing on the file about it. She made notes to talk to the doctor about it. I also brought up that we need to have a meeting with the doctor, so she made notes for someone that can check his schedule, and to call my brother to book a time. My schedule is flexible, so I can work around his.
Then I got transferred to my mother’s room.
*sigh*
She was shouting right from her “hello”. It actually hurt my ears. When I asked her why she was shouting, it was “so you can hear me.”
Yeah, Mom. I can hear you. So can everyone outside your door and down the hall!
No, I didn’t say that out loud.
She then starting complaining. No one is calling. No one is visiting. No one cares (she includes the hospital staff on that). Why doesn’t my brother call or visit?
So I told her about his going to her place to replace the window from the AC set up, then about the woman who fell. She actually knows the woman, as she often does the Gospel readings in church. When I told her about the fall and my brother taking her to the hospital, she only wanted to know, which hospital. I told her, and she started saying, she has children, why did my brother drive her. Her (adult) children weren’t there (I think they live in the city!). Even when I told her, my brother probably saved her life, because if he hadn’t seen her, there was a good chance she would have frozen to death before anyone got to her.
She didn’t care.
She also didn’t have any appreciation for my brother going out to her apartment in the severe cold, getting the window done, helping a neighbour, and still driving her to the farm to drop off the AC, in the dark.
Instead, she kept complaining about how no one calls or visits her. I finally told her that, right then, she was making me regret calling her back, and called her out on how nasty she was being.
She – sarcastically – thanked me for being open with her.
*sigh*
After that, the call was better. She did complain that money was probably taken from her bank account for her apartment. I told her that she IS still renting it. All her things are still there. Of course she has to pay for it. That got us to talking about her things and what she wants done with them.
Don’t throw anything away, she keeps saying.
We’ve got an entire building filled with personal belongings we packed from this house – a building we could really use as the workshop it used to be – that she insists we don’t throw away. Now, we’ll have more, and we’ve already run out of storage space.
Then she demanded I tell her what I planned to do with a particular mirror she’s had stuck in her storage closet for the past 10 years. Something she gets obsessed about, every now and then. I finally had to tell her, don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of it.
Then she started going on about how, really, my sister should be taking care of her more, she and her husband are both on pension, she doesn’t need to be working, she should be taking care of Mom.
I’m sure my sister has been nagged about that a few times, already!
I was eventually able to get a word in – right after she told me, she wants to get out of there! – and told her, I think her problem is, she’s bored. She’s there by herself, with nothing to do, and she’s bored. We talked about it a bit, and she agreed. She is bored and lonely! Which, I told her, is completely understandable!
Well, this post got interrupted by a call from my brother.
We have a meeting booked with the doctor. They got us in as quickly as they could, and it’s an evening meeting, so that works for my brother. It was noted that, since we are dealing with cognitive issues with my mother, she won’t be there, and won’t even be told about it. Our concern was that, if she knew in advance, she’d end up telling our vandal about it, and he could cause problems.
It sucks having to even consider these things.
As for me, I am done for the day. I’m glad I got the end of the driveway cleared, but I’m really going to be paying for it, tonight, even with my meds!
I have to admit, though, I did quite enjoy the shoveling!
This is what it was, this morning, shortly before I headed out to tend that yard cats. I did not do the rest of my morning rounds. -21C/-6F with a wind chill of -35C/-31? Yeah, I was feeling that.
As I write this, the temperature is the same, but the wind chill is now -42C/-44F
All night and all this morning, I was seeing posts about blizzard conditions, white outs, and the general advice of “stay home, if you can!” The bulk of the storm hit the south end of our province, though, so we’re mostly getting that wind, but very little new snow. A small blessing, but I’ll take it!
The weather warnings starting coming in fast on the weather group I’m on, yesterday. While my brother was still at my mother’s apartment. When he set up my mother’s portable AC, he got permission from the public housing department to remove a window. He set up a board with the exhaust port installed in it. In the winter, the AC’s hose was removed and 3″ Styrofoam insulation was set over the window. While we still don’t have anything official saying my mother isn’t going back to her apartment, we’re preparing it for that, anyhow, and he wanted to get the window and trim back in
In that cold.
He took extreme care to ensure nothing chipped, cracked or broke in the severe temperatures, and you’d never know it was ever taken out in the first place.
As he was packing the AC into his car to bring here (which I didn’t even know he was planning to do!), a woman came out of the church across the street.
Then slipped, fell and hit the back of her head on a concrete bench.
!!!
My brother went over to help, and was soon joined by a woman in my mother’s building who saw what happened through her window. The woman who fell was consious, but not moving. They helped her up and to her home, which was right next to the church. My brother checked under her hood, and found blood.
I’m convinced her winter gear saved her life.
As did my brother. She couldn’t get up on her own and, in this cold, even if she survived an unpadded blow to the back of her skull, the cold would have done her in within minutes.
My brother ended up driving her to the nearer city’s ER (the local hospital’s ER, just blocks away, is almost never open). Driving her was faster than waiting for an ambulance. My brother left her in good hands, then drove back to my mother’s apartment to finish loading his car, before coming here.
When he first told me he was planning to come here, he wasn’t sure if our roads were clear, so I went out to check the driveway. Our road was not plowed, but it didn’t need it. The winds swept it clear. Which probably meant the main road was drifted over. Our own driveway had some drifting, but I knew his car could make it all right. Being so much smaller than our truck, he would have plenty of room to pull up to the house and turn around without hitting the areas that were starting to drift over. So I left the gate open for him, then called him back. I did recommend he take a different route. Normally, he take a road that allows him to avoid driving past our vandal’s place, but that road doesn’t get as much traffic, and is not maintained as thoroughly. He agreed. Apparently, the last time they came out here and took their usual route, it was in very poor condition. The main road may not have been plowed, but it gets a lot more traffic, which would make it easier for him to get through.
After calling him back, I bundled up in layers and headed back out with the ice scraper and shovel. There was a fair bit of ice built up under a layer of snow on our front steps and sidewalk, and I didn’t want anyone to slip and hit their heads on a concrete step!
By then, it was getting dark, but it was also warmer than it had been earlier in the day. After clearing in front of the house as best I could, I went and started clearing the drift in front of our garage door, by the light of the yard light. I was just finishing that up when my brother arrived. He stayed long enough to drop off the AC and accessories, then headed home. He had about an hour to drive, and road conditions were getting worse. Happily, he got home safe and sound.
We now have my mother’s AC unit, that my brother bought for her. The first of many things that will end up coming here, over the next while.
I’d hoped to go to my mother’s today, as it was supposed to be warmer. Apparently, we did reach the predicted high of -17C/1F, but it was at around 4-6am! Not going to happen, today. (As I watch the giant maple branches out my window sway in the wind, amazed they haven’t broken off yet.)
The next few days, we’re supposed to reach highs warmer than -20C/-4F. More importantly, the wind is supposed to die down. I’m not sure on the timing of things, since I will also be taking three cats in for spay/neuter on Wednesday.
The last time my mother was in the hospital, it was at the end of January, beginning of February (less than a year ago!). We had to deal with weather issues then, too!
The older I get, the more I am starting to really dislike winter.
I had a strangely rough night last night. I wasn’t able to sleep, so when I heard my older daughter taking a break from work at about 3am, and we grabbed something to eat. Just as I settled down, I started to sneeze.
And sneeze.
And sneeze.
For the next hour, at least, I was either sneezing or fighting off sneezes. I have no idea what I was reacting to! Yes, I took antihistamines, but they made no difference.
I did finally get an hour of two of sleep, waking up as it started to get light out. I messaged with my brother and SIL a bit about tomorrow – though that may change – and meeting up at my mother’s apartment, then headed outside to do the morning routine.
The wind was brutal. We’d had a bit of snow during the night, which was actually appreciated, as the paths I wasn’t able to spread ashes over, plus the driveway were not as slippery. On the down side, the paths were also starting to fill in and drifts starting to form. Nothing to complain about, really. As the storm moved across the prairies, highways were being closed all over the place. The local highways group had people posting about poor visibility and road conditions, but they were still passable.
Once I was done, though, I had enough energy to grab some instant oatmeal for breakfast and then crashed for several hours, completely embedded by cats. I think they were cold!
We had a couple of packages we ordered that had reached the city, and my husband got a notification that one of them had arrived at our local post office. I decided to wait until the post office closed then reopened at 2pm, though, and sure enough the second package arrived from the city, too. So I headed out after the post office reopened.
Straight into a brutal wind. Conditions had definitely worsened. A drift was starting to form in front of the garage door that I had to shovel out before I could leave. The wonderful plow job on our gravel roads was being drifted over, and visibility was poor.
Thankfully, I only had to go a few miles.
One of the packages was a new office chair for my husband, to replace his broken one. He’s been using a small armchair for the past while, and it’s brutal on his back injury. Picking up the chair was not something that was going to wait!
As I write this, we are still at -15C/5F. When I got home, the wind chill was -35C/31F, but it has since dropped to -37C/-35F.
Tomorrow is supposed to be colder, and almost as windy.
Hopefully, my brother’s schedule will allow him to postpone going to my mother’s for a day!
As soon as we got the box inside, my daughter immediately started to assemble the chair for her father. While she worked on that, my husband got to check out the new “toy” he picked up, as something to keep in the truck.
Or for me to keep handy while working outside after the snow is gone.
Yeah. It’s a hammer, axe, multi-tool, with holster.
The second picture shows it opened up.
We were pleasantly surprised by the quality, to be honest. That axe is sharp! The knife is really good, too, and the screwdriver/file/bottle opener is also solid. The pliers don’t seem to be as strong, but it’s not going to be seeing heavy duty work. The hammer has surprising heft to it, and is actually useable.
I didn’t spot where they opened as I quickly looked at it, but there are several screwdriver tips in the handle that fit into the top of the axe/hammer head. There’s also a magnesium rod tucked in there somewhere, with a built in whistle.
I’m going to have to grab it from my husband and look it over again!
The “snowflake” that came with it is also surprisingly strong. Each tip is a different screwdriver tip or hex key and each space is a different size wrench, plus a bottle opener. One of the tips doubles as a box cutter. There’s a hole for the key ring, but the ring is flimsy. My husband will probably add a cord to it, instead. That’s something he will probably keep handy and find more useful.
The whole thing is absolutely hilarious, adorable – and may actually be useful! A lot of these multi-tool gadgets look great, but once you try to use them, their designs are not practical at all. I look forward to trying this thing out.
Meanwhile, it looks like the worst of the weather system has passed by. Wind will still be an issue, and any new snow expected isn’t supposed to show up until night time.
We’ll see how things are for my brother. His schedule is far less flexible, so I will adjust to what works for him.
Did quite a bit of running around today, which I’ll cover in another post. Since I was in town anyhow, I did a small grocery shopping trip that turned out to be bigger than originally planned. I was only there for bread, milk and cheese! 😄
This is what $121.25 looks like, but I got $20 off from my loyalty points.
Yeah, most of it fit into the one hard sided bag I brought.
One of my daughters mentioned we were running low on glass top stove cleaner, so I picked up a bottle of that. I also got a 12 pack each of Coke Zero and Fresca for the four of us, which were on sale.
There was actually ginger snap cookies in stock, so I got a box for my husband, along with two jugs of distilled water for his CPAP humidifier. I also got him some frozen tater tots as an each snack that he can prepare himself.
Then I got two packs of marble, two packs of white Old Cheddar, lactose free cheese, which were on sale. They didn’t have any 2L 3% milk in stock, so I got 2%.
I spotted hoagie sausages on sale, so I got two packages. The sale price is what used to be their regular price. The girls really like those. I also picked up a ring of garlic sausage, made by a local company.
Then, finally, I got the bread I was there for. Four loaves of regular white and whole wheat bread. The rye bread I normally get was on sale, and completely out of stock, so this was the substitute.
And that’s it. All that, with sale prices and discounts, came out to over $100.
*sigh*
On another note, our pantry just got a boost for canned soups and a few more cans of beans. With my mother still in the hospital and not going back to her apartment, I’m going to start clearing some things out, little by little. My brother and SIL had picked up a lot of canned soup and such for her, as it was a lot easier for her and something the home care staff could prepare for her. After talking to them about it, they told me to take them, since we have “more mouths to feed”. 😄 I certainly won’t say no to things to add to our pantry!
While shopping today, I saw the canned beans we used to get regularly were on sale as 2/$3 A sale price of $1.50 per can, that used to cost 97¢ a can, regular price, not that long ago.
What isn’t pictured is my stop at the pharmacy. I got ibuprofen for the girls. Two smaller bottles that were on sale, making them cheaper than getting one larger bottle. I got acetaminophen for myself, which is safe to take with my anti-inflammatories. I still have some prescription painkillers left, but I don’t want to be using those if I don’t have to. I also got a tube of Voltaren for myself, that was on sale, and lactaid for my husband, which was not on sale. That all came out to something like $98.
I did stop at the hardware store before going to visit my mother, trying to find some Roof Melt. Turns out, they don’t even carry it, though the website made it look like they did. The city stores carry it, not the small towns. The first staff I asked about it didn’t even know what it was. I ended up talking to a manager? I think? who has helped me before. They tried really hard to find something for me. One of the other staff came by and heard what I was asking for, and got all excited, because it’s a product she would be getting, too! In the end, the manager said he was going to try and order something in, but he wasn’t sure if it would work.
He did mention that you can get beet juice granules. Somewhere. He didn’t know. This would be sprinkled on the roof and in the eavestroughs in the fall, where they would keep things clear all winter, and are completely safe for the grass and water table the melt water would drain to.
While doing the morning rounds, I could not believe just how slippery everything was! I don’t think we’ve had anything like this, since we moved out here. Today was even more dangerous than after it was actually raining.
The camera on my phone seems to compensate a bit for the brightness. I couldn’t actually look at where I was taking the pictures, the sun’s glare on the ice was so blinding. I had to be super careful walking the paths to set out food and water for the yard cats. I was really appreciating the handles I’d put on the isolation shelter, as they gave me something to grip as I went from one sliding window to the other. I’d cleared the patio blocks below, but they are now covered with a thick layer of sheer ice.
Tomorrow, we’re supposed to get above freezing, so things should soften up and, in some areas, melt clear. Hopefully, that means the highway will be dry by the afternoon, as I plan to go to my mother’s apartment to check on things, then hit the hardware store to get some Roof Melt to get rid of the ice dam that has formed on the sun room roof.
Speaking of my mother…
I called the hospital last night. I timed it badly, as they were doing shift change, and I was asked to call back later. That meant I was talking to a new shift nurse, who had just barely been debriefed.
My mother, it turns out, had a rather “bad” day… and by “bad”, it was about her behaviour.
She had called me early in the morning, before they came to do her vitals, and over an hour before they were scheduled to do her morning meds. After I called the nurses’ desk back to explain the call to my mother, they checked on her, then I got a call back with an update.
Some time after that, it turns out my mother went into the hall and started yelling and swearing at the staff, calling them stupid. The nurse I was talking to had been updated during their shift change meeting, but hadn’t completely finished reading the written report yet, but she was able to tell me that the previous nurse managed to get her back into her room. The nurse then addressed her behaviour, in private.
I was both surprised and not surprised at the same time. I think it was the swearing that actually surprised me the most, because I didn’t think she knew any swear words in English. I’m probably wrong on that. If she had been swearing in Polish, it’s unlikely they wouldn’t have known if something was a swear, other than by tone.
I apologized for my mother’s behaviour, of course, but the nurse just laughed it off. She told me, the get this quite a bit, and never take it personally.
At the end of the call, I made sure to pass on my gratitude for how well they are taking care of my mother. She does not make it easy.
Some changes in her schedule were made, though. My mother complained that they weren’t doing anything for her, regarding her pain in particular. The only things they do for that is give her her Tylenol and rub affected areas with Voltaren, both of which help her a lot. These, however, were “as needed”, and if she didn’t specifically ask for them, she wouldn’t get them. It seems she wasn’t asking for them as often as she should have been. So now, both are scheduled. She will get both, twice a day, without her having to ask for them first.
There really isn’t anything else they can do for her. Most of her maladies are not things that can be fixed. At 94 years old, her body is simply giving out in places – and she really is doing remarkably well for her age! She doesn’t think so, of course.
Hopefully, they will find a care place for her soon, whether its assisted living, or a nursing home, like she wants. These places tend to have activities to help with cognitive decline, or simply for socializing. There is nothing like that available in the hospital, so she’s basically stuck alone for much of the day, stewing in her own mind, without the distractions she had become used to.
At the end of my call with the nurse, who was about to do the evening meds, she promised to call me back, if there was anything of concern. She did not call, so no news is good news.
After checking my mother’s apartment tomorrow, depending on the road conditions, I will drive to the hospital and visit her, too.
For a while, there, my mother had been doing so well. She really was happier than I’d seen her in years. Now, she seems to be reverting to her usual self again. Which makes the idea of visiting her or calling her on the phone a lot more stressful than it should be.
The hospital staff are saints. My mother is not the only difficult patient they have to deal with! At least, with her, she is an “easy” patient, in that she doesn’t need a lot of physical care, for someone that is hospitalized.
While we haven’t had anything official yet, we at least have been told she is not going to be discharged back to her apartment. They just don’t know when or where she will be discharged to, yet.
Which puts the rest of us in limbo.
I suppose we should start packing her apartment, though. I just don’t know where to start!
One of the things we found when we were cleaning the house out, before the movers brought our stuff, was an old rotary dial phone.
That phone is now set up beside my bedside, as it will continue working, even during power failures, unlike the modern cordless phones. There is one down side, though.
The ring is LOUD!
That’s what I woke up to.
That wasn’t the most jarring thing, though.
I actually got out of bed to grab the cordless phone, so I could check the call display, first. It was from the hospital. Sort of.
It was my mother, calling from her own phone in the hospital.
The first thing she started asking me was if I knew where the pendant for her Lifeline was. I told her, it was with the base in her apartment now. She wanted me to use it. I told her, I would have to drive to her town to do that (a half hour drive, if road conditions are good. They are not good.). But I have their number, right? Yes…
She wanted me to call her Lifeline to get advice on what to do.
…
She’s in the hospital, and she wants me to call the Lifeline for… health advice?
As you can imagine, this was very confusing even when not bleary from being half asleep!
From what I can figure out, if she had still had the pendant with her, she would have tired to use it, expecting to get a response from Lifeline, even though 1) the base is in her apartment and 2) her account is currently suspended until we know where she is going next.
She also thought the number I had was to whoever would have been monitoring her Lifeline, had it been active. The number I have is for their customer service. I didn’t even think about that at first, because I had no clue what she was getting at.
I told her, she’s in the hospital. If she needs help, use the call button.
What followed as a whole lot of jumbled stuff that I struggled to make sense of. Partly because she was talking in Polish, and didn’t have her teeth in. At the end of it, I did ask why she had switched to Polish and got only a vague answer that I think was her saying she didn’t want anyone to overhear what she was saying.
Somehow, in what was probably not that long of a call at all (though it felt much longer), she managed to…
Tell me the hospital isn’t doing anything for her. They just want her to sit quietly in the corner and die.
She’s been there for a long time (she even figured back to the date she went to the ER), and has still never been seen by a doctor.
They give her lots of pills. Eleven of them this morning (she hadn’t had her morning pills yet, I later confirmed, so… this would be the same morning she’s been talking to me about for over a week).
She is in pain, they come in to rub on the Voltaren, and that’s it, they don’t do anything else.
She wanted me to take her to a different hospital. Maybe they will help her.
Oh, and she squeezed in another complaint about paying for the Lifeline service, but they don’t help her. I reminded her, the service is suspended right now, but she was complaining about that before, anyhow.
When I tried to explain that you can’t just go hospital hopping, while trying to figure out just WHAT she wanted treatment for, I was told I was “on their side” and just wanted her to die.
Then she told me to talk to my brother, because he’s smart, he’ll know what to do.
…
She was clearly having a bit of a freak out, but I could not pin down what was going on. She talked about pain and they just rub on the Voltaren. Does it help? Yes. So what else does she expect them to do? She brought up her dry mouth again. They have given her a spray for that, and she doesn’t even keep it in reach. She wants them to “cure” it somehow, but it’s because she’s sleeping with her mouth open. She didn’t even bring up the pain in her chest that she used the Pepto for, but I couldn’t get the straight of whether there was anything else happening. When she started accusing me of being “on their side”, I told her, I’m trying to understand, but I need words! I need information!
I never got it.
She also went on about how they have five doctors, and no doctor has seen her. I told her, they don’t have five doctors at the same time. They have one. That’s it.
Oh, you’re on their side…
In the end, I promised her that I would pass things on to my brother, because he was wanting to book an appointment with the doctor to talk about next steps, anyhow. I told her, he was probably already at work, so I would message him. She actually ended the call so I could do that, which is unusual.
The first thing I did, though, was call the hospital to talk to whoever was at the nurses’ desk. I explained that I just got a call from my mother and the things she was saying to me. The receptionist didn’t know who my mother’s nurse was on that shift but, after being filled in, she told me she would pass all this on to her nurse, but would also check on my mother herself. She then offered to call back and update me, which I gladly accepted.
Then I got on my computer and started updating my brother. Part way through, I got the call back.
When she checked on my mother, the nurse was there, taking her vitals, and my mother was saying to her some of the things she’d already said to me on the phone.
My mother is apparently just fine. Her vitals are always really great. Her swelling is not an issue anymore. Her pain is being dealt with in various ways, as needed.
So what is it she is wanting to be treated for, to the point of wanting to go to a different hospital?
We don’t know.
My mother’s file was checked, and the last note from the doctor, about the Pepto my mother wanted, was written on the 5th. Today is the 13th. So he has been seeing her, even though he hasn’t needed to add notes each time.
So what is going on?
The doctor is seeing her, but she either doesn’t remember, or she doesn’t believe he’s a doctor. She had complained about how the nurses and doctors should be in uniforms, because she can’t tell them apart from a janitor. This doctor, however, is very distinctive. He’s probably the only black person in the hospital right now, probably the tallest person in the hospital, too, and he’s the same doctor that tended to her when she was hospitalized before. So it could be that she doesn’t think he’s a “real” doctor, because he’s black, and not doing whatever it is she wants done to her. This is a pattern with her, and not just based on colour. For as long as I can remember, she would go to doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, even priests, and any time they started saying things she didn’t want to hear, she would stop seeing them and claim they were somehow uneducated, unqualified, or otherwise not “real” in their title. If they did say something she liked to hear, she will drag that out, over and over, even if it is completely at odds with everything else.
We had a good talk about it. At one point, I read out a response from my brother, saying that my mother doesn’t understand that she’s in a holding pattern right now, while they try to figure out getting her into care, wherever that is. I explained that my mother WANTS to be in a particular nursing home, and that we’ve been trying to help her do that for two years now, with no success.
I think part of the problem (and the person I was talking to agreed) is that my mother is likely lonely and bored. With her eyes failing, she can’t read or write like she used to. She has her radio, but it’s set to a talk radio station in the city, because we couldn’t get the Polish radio station she usually listened to, so she’s probably not bothering. That talk radio station used to be a good one, and I remember we had it on a lot when I was growing up. It has changed significantly, over the years, and would probably not interest her anymore. She has the TV, but there’s only two channels, and she doesn’t approve of either of them. It’s just sports and stuff, and the same thing over and over, she says – and the news is just bad stuff, never good stuff, and the government should take them over and tell them to show only good stuff. Being in a hospital, there aren’t any activities that she can take part in, like there were in her apartment building, either.
So… yeah. She’s probably bored out of her tree, with only her own thoughts to mull on.
Which, considering the things she come up with, must be unpleasant. As my brother has said, it must be really scary to be in my mother’s brain right now. I mentioned that to the person I was talking to, and she agreed. We’re looking at increasing dementia, and she must be getting very frustrated and confused. This would be part of why she would get so upset with me when I can’t figure out what she is trying to tell me, or what she wants me to do. She doesn’t have the words. Even if there was some new thing wrong with her, she doesn’t have the words to tell us.
I updated my brother the rest of the way, but there really isn’t anything much he can do, either. We need to have that meeting with the doctor to get things straight and make decisions – and we’re already in the middle of January! My mother went into the hospital before Christmas.
She’s in the best place she could be right now, until some sort of long term care, assisted living or supportive living accommodations can be found for her, and we do know that she is being paneled for that while she’s there.
But she wants to be treated for something. Anything. All her many complaints, most of which can’t be fixed. Something. But aside from the swelling that got her into the hospital in the first place – which was blamed on a heart condition she doesn’t have – she is not sick. She is feeble, has already had a fall while there, and can no longer live independently. If it weren’t for our making a big deal about that, she probably would have been discharged home weeks ago, and she’s be in even worse shape. She would have been in real trouble if she’d had that fall in her apartment!
So… that was how my day started.
By the time all that was done, it was time for me to head outside for my morning routine, so that got taken care of.
I counted NINE cats and kittens in the isolation shelter, while doing the food and water in there!
The thermometer against the back wall is reading 5C/41F. Of course, it would be much warmer under the heat lamp, where Bug is hanging out.
After getting the morning stuff done, I was falling asleep on my feet, so I set a timer and went down for a short nap. It helped.
I was considering heading out to town today. My SIL had mentioned a product to me to help with the roof dams. I hadn’t even mentioned that we had one to them! They know how much of a problem that one spot it. Anyhow, these are pucks of calcium chloride and, depending on the brand, other chemicals. You just toss them up onto the roof, they melt their way down and then continue to melt away snow and ice for a long time. I called up the local hardware store to see if they had any in stock, but they did not. My mother’s town, so the south of us, has a hardware that apparently has the same brand of product in stock, but I wasn’t going to do highway driving, if I could avoid it.
We did actually reach our high of 3C/37F today, but it was at 4am. By the time I was outside doing my morning routine, it was getting cold, and we were having high winds. Anything that melted while it was warmer overnight was already frozen. As I write this, we are at -16C/3F, with a wind chill of -35C/-31F.
Tomorrow, we’re supposed to reach 1C/34F in the afternoon, through to the early evening, with continued high winds. It’s going to be our last warm day for a while. After that, we’re going to start getting highs below -20C/-4F. So if I’m going to run any errands, tomorrow is the day to do it.
It’s supposed to warm up slightly in the middle of next week, though, which is a good thing. I now have three appointments with the vet for spays or neuters. We’ll just be grabbing whoever we can that is for sure big enough to be done. Priority on the females, of course, but males if we can’t catch any. We’ll have to catch them the night before and keep them in the isolation shelter for the overnight fast. What we like to do is try to bring them in early enough to treat them with wet cat food, then take the food bowls out once their fast is supposed to start.
I’m still hoping we can get Frank in. She has allowed me to pet her a couple of times, but is extremely nervous about it. Adam has been around, but I haven’t been able to get close to her, and Slick may as well be as feral as Sprout, the way she’s been behaving lately. Then there’s that white and grey that has apparently moved into the cat house for the winter. Can’t get anywhere near her at all.
When doing the evening cat feeding, I was actually able to pick up and snuggle Blot, but she is probable too small. There are a couple of large kittens that I know are female – the calico, Sprig (daughter of Sprout), of course, but also the still unnamed fluffy black and white. There are fluffy tabbies that we just can’t tell, one way or the other. Too much fur, and we can’t get close to any of them.
We’ll bring in three, and that’s all we can be sure of!
So that’s good news.
Meanwhile, I am thinking I should probably call the hospital again and see how my mother is doing.
Honestly, I really don’t want to. You never know, though. She might have completely flipped between this morning and now, and be a different person again. There’s just no way to know, unless I call.
Today, I was able to get to my mother’s apartment, then to visit her in the hospital.
I wasn’t sure how that was going to work out, after learning how things went with my brother, last night.
My brother, SIL and their grandson went to visit my mother after my brother had put in a long day at work, driving out in what turned out to be a snow storm. We got a fair bit of snow here, but the closer you get to the lake, the more humidity and the heavier the snow. When they got there, they tried the regular doors to get into the hospital, but they were locked. I don’t even try the regular doors and go through the emergency room doors, but my brother forgets to do that. In the end, they decided he and their grandson would go in, while my SIL stayed with the car. That way, when they were ready to leave, she would drive around to the emergency room doors to pick them up, so they wouldn’t have to walk around the hospital in the storm.
Well, my mother was in “fine” form when they got there. At first, she didn’t really recognize them – I’m sure they were pretty bundled up in winter wear, plus, she wasn’t expecting them. For some reason, she was expecting me, but my brother told her I was coming tomorrow (meaning, today).
Then she started complaining about how late it was (it was still early evening).
When they told her about the poor driving conditions, and that my SIL was waiting in the car, my mother took it as a personal insult, and that my SIL didn’t want to “see her face”. Which is weird, because my mother hates my SIL (while saying she loves her) and has been trying to break up their marriage for years.
Anyhow, when my brother commented on how she went straight to the negative, she doubled down and got worse, so they left.
It was white knuckled driving, all the way home.
Needless to say, I wasn’t really looking forward to my visit today.
Road conditions were… passable, but not very good. It wasn’t snowing anymore, but there was plenty of packed snow on the roads, and blowing snow was starting to create drifts. Still, I’ve driven in far worse.
I got to my mother’s apartment, where I found her mail pushed under her door – a neighbour has been bringing her mail to her door for years. My brother will be getting that redirected to his place, once we know what’s going on with my mother after she leaves the hospital. I made sure to leave the Lifeline pendant with the base, checked her answering machine, etc. There were a few items she asked me to bring, one of which I couldn’t find. Which I was actually okay with, since it was something she meant to use to “educate” the hospital staff about the “history of Canada” that she’d written down. She would be wildly inappropriate about it.
I also grabbed her one live plant to take home, as she asked me to do, then headed over to the hospital. Blowing snow was even worse on that part of the drive.
Once at the hospital, I was able to park at my usual parking lot not far from the emergency room entrance. A few spots down, I noticed and SUV that looked kinda like our vandal’s, but didn’t think too much of it. It’s not an uncommon vehicle or colour.
Once inside, I made a quick dash to use the washroom near the emergency room waiting area (the emergency room was closed) before going to my mother’s. As I was leaving, I saw someone in one of the waiting room chairs, looking away from me, slowly getting up and starting to walk down the hall towards the nursing station.
It was our vandal. He wife was a few feet ahead of him, down the hall.
Our vandal didn’t see me as I passed him, and it’s possible he would not have recognized me from behind, while bundled up in winter wear, but his wife turned and saw me as I passed her. She looked really angry, before she even saw me. I said hello, but she just asked if I was going to see my mother. I said yes, and kept on going. I heard her start talking to our vandal, but didn’t pay too much attention. I knew they wouldn’t go to see my mother while I was there.
My mother seemed surprised to see me, even though my brother had told her I would be coming today. I brought out the things she asked me to bring, then brought out the gift I’d made for her.
She had mentioned using the sleep hat I made for her, using Blanket Yarn, to warm her hands, so I got more Blanket Yarn to make her a double thick muff for her hands in solid grey, then used leftover yarn from her hat to do the edging.
When she saw it, she immediately start making snarky comments about how we keep bringing things for her. I told her, this was so she could keep her hands and her head warm at the same time. She did not approve, though she did make a comment about how, in her younger days, these were very popular, and she had one that was all furry.
She then commented on how this was the same yarn I used to make a “scarf”. I’ve never used this yarn to make a scarf, but it turned out she meant the wheelchair shawl I’d crocheted for her late sister. I told her that no, I used Bamboo Silk to make that shawl, but my mother insisted it was the same yarn.
Then she started happily talking about how, after her sister passed away and my cousin gave the shawl to my mother, my mother had washed it, then “drrrrrrrr drrrrrrr drrrrrrr”, she said, as she mimed undoing the crochet. She said she had such fun doing that! Then she told me she balled the yarn up and gave it to me, then told me again that she made sure to wash it, first, so it was clean. Like somehow that was the most important thing? Or, she thought her sister was really dirty while wearing it?
My tongue was practically bleeding from my trying not to say anything. My mother still can’t understand the problem with her destroying something I’d made as a gift for her sister. No more than she can understand how much she hurt my daughter when we discovered she’d done the same thing with a shawl my then-early-teenaged daughter had made for her, after carefully selecting the yarn and colour, paid for out of her own allowance, and lovingly spending weeks crocheting it.
She mentioned my brother had come to visit, and I said I knew about it. Oh, you talked to him? Yes. Yes I did. She brought up how my SIL stayed in the car rather than come in to see her. I told her, they drove out in a storm, after my brother finished work, and reminded her of why my SIL stayed in the car, and how is it that she couldn’t appreciate that they were able to visit at all? She never even mentioned her great grandson. He may as well not have been there. She brought up how it “wasn’t the first time” my SIL stayed in the car rather than visit my mother. I was biting my tongue on that one, too. When I defended my brother and SIL, she just started crossing herself and changed the subject.
I did mentioned to her about seeing our vandal and his wife on the way over, and that they were unlikely to come visit while I was there, but might come later. I also added that I wasn’t going to stay long, because the roads were bad, plus I had her plant in the truck. She scoffed and said “of course” when I said I couldn’t stay long because of road conditions. Then started talking about how “every time” we say we can’t stay long, she forgets all the things she meant to talk about while we were there. One of the things she asked me to bring was her notebook and writing implements, so I told her that she can now write these things down as she thinks of them, so she won’t forget next time.
We talked a bit about what to do with her things in her apartment. When I told her I couldn’t find her notes and didn’t want to dig through her papers (she has bins and boxes of papers everywhere, most of it junk) to look for it, she was perplexed. Apparently, it should have been in the open and easy to find. That got her to saying how my sister is to take all her papers and pictures, and her clothes. I suggested she could give my sister her key, so she could do that when she’s able, and we don’t have to try coordinating with each other’s schedules. Not until we know officially know what’s going to happen with my mother next, though. She did make a big deal – again – about how we shouldn’t throw anything away, and not to leave things in the common room because the staff throws it out. She is really fixated on that, even though we’ve told her, many times now, that we won’t be leaving anything of hers in the common room for her neighbours.
Then there was a knock at the door and a nurse came in to take her lunch tray. It was the male nurse again. My mother did thank him for taking her tray, but you could tell, she was not happy to see him. After he left, she snarked about “red pants”. My reaction was along the lines of “so??” “On a man!” was her response. Yes, Mom. Men are allowed to wear colours.
She started crossing herself again.
*sigh*
So the entire visit was… okay, but not really a good visit. We quickly ran out of things to talk about – it hasn’t been that long since I’ve visited her last. Then, for someone who complained because I said I couldn’t stay long, she basically said, okay, we’re done. You can leave now.
🙄
Which was fine by me.
My mother is very good at driving people away from her, and making them not want to be around her. She is also oblivious to the fact that her actions are having this effect. The irony of this is, as negative as she gets with my brother and I, if our vandal have visited, I know she would be fawning over him. It’s like, the more abusive she is, the more she tries to cater to him, while being absolutely horrible to my brother, the person who has been helping her the most and has never been anything but kind to her for decades.
*sigh*
As I was leaving, there was no signs of our vandal and his wife, and the vehicle I’m now sure was his was gone, so it looks like they headed home after seeing that I was going to visit my mother. If this was something they were meaning to do after a chemo session, then that makes sense.
So it looks like I sabotaged a visit from them.
Which, under the circumstances, is a good thing.
Before I left, I did remind my mother that, if they came in together, our vandal would probably behave while his wife is around, but if he came in alone, I told her that she can use the help button to call someone, so that she’s not alone with him. We just can’t know, from one day to the next, what he will do.
Unfortunately, I trust my mother about as much as I trust our vandal. Especially after she manipulated my sister and they both lied about it, in regards to our vandal.
*sigh*
Anyhow.
After visiting my mother, I swung by the grocery store to get some hot dog fixings to do a cookout. There were some really good sales on, though, so I ended up getting more. I even got some beef stew meat – something that we can rarely afford to buy, these days. That done, I picked up a bit of gas and headed home. Between the groceries and the plant from my mother’s place, I drove up to the house to unload.
Once I was parked in the garage, I had something to eat, changed, then headed back outside to break out Spewie to clear the driveway. We got just enough snow to make it harder to drive around the yard, and I almost got stuck at the end of the driveway by the road.
In the end, I was physically able to only clear the area in front of the garage and a bit towards the people gate in the chain link fence. Not quite all the way, as I was using only one 100′ extension cord and didn’t want to add another. It was getting too painful after a while, so I had to call it a day before I was done. Tomorrow, I’ll have to head back out and start adding extension cords and doing the rest of the driveway to the road.
Before I went into the house, though, I did shovel the sidewalk and the cat paths, at least, before feeding the outside cats for the evening. The current forecast is now saying highs of -2C/28F over the next two days, then a high of +2C/36F on Tuesday. I want to clear as much as I can over the next couple of days, so that the paths and driveway have a chance to melt at least somewhat clear.
Somewhere in there, we should be able to get the fire pit going again and have ourselves a wiener roast! I’m quite looking forward to that.
As for today, I think the one thing that I would consider my top accomplishment was the inadvertent sabotaging of our vandal visiting my other. It still irritates me that she got him involved again, when we’ve been trying so hard to protect her from him. In her case, there’s a lot of self sabotage. She is often her own worst enemy, and I just don’t know what we can do about it.
The Re-Farmer 