our vandal

*sigh* [updated]

/ Re-Farmer / 2 Comments

I suppose I was expecting something to happen.

A couple of days ago, when checking our trail cam files, I saw our vandal. He was driving his quad and, at the sign cam, drove onto the space between the fence and the road, got off his quad and walked up to the fence, where the camera is. He showed off his colostomy bag, then got back onto his quad and drove off.

About minute or two later, he was pulled into our driveway where he got off his quad, went to the gate, then went back to his quad and left. If he did any more, it was in the 5 second gap of time before the motion sensor could be triggered again after recording.

It was creepy and weird.

It’s been too windy to get anything done outside, even without the high temperatures, so I grabbed our water bottles and went into town. Since I was there anyhow, I was able to get my husband’s prescription refills, so we won’t have a delivery, tomorrow.

As I was heading home and turning onto our road, I could see a tractor further down the road, moving slowly. I had plenty of time to pull into our driveway before it got closer. As I got out to open the gate, then go back to truck, it was close enough that I could see the driver – and it was slowing down.

It was our vandal.

Okay. He’s just going to drive by. No problem. I got into my truck and drove through the gate, then stopped to go back and close up the gate.

As I was putting the chain on, the tractor stopped at the end of our driveway, and our vandal got off. He had his shirt open and his colostomy bag hanging out. As he walked towards me, he grabbed it and sort of shook it at me.

My only respond, as I kept closing up the gate, was to say, “yeah, I know about that.”

He came closer and started yelling at me, in an absolute rage.

He had cancer. He was dying. Because of me. (I caused his cancer, apparently.) He’s dying. It’s my fault.

I pretty much ignored him and was walking away when he said that I put him in jail. I just paused and said, “I put you in jail?” shook my head and kept walking. As for as I know, he’s never been jailed because of my pressing charges against him after he vandalized our gate. Nor after I got a retraining order against him. The restraining order was just for a year and long expired, but he’s been staying away – until I saw him doing on the trail cam files a couple of days ago. My brother has had a few really horrible voice mail messages, where it was clear I remain the focus of our vandal’s hate, and he has only gotten worse, but he stopped calling and texting me, long ago.

He also started yelling about how I never needed to work again, and neither do my daughters. I have no clue what he was talking about there. All I can guess is, he’s seeing all sorts of stuff here at the farm, and he things we suddenly bought all this stuff, so we much have oodles of money somehow. It must be driving him insane, to see all this stuff and not be able to come here and help himself to it, like he did while my father was still living here, and during the couple of years no one was living here. He still seems to think he’s entitled to the property – or at least access to it, any time he wants – and everything on it.

As I ignored him, he started yelling and waving his arm, saying for me to call the police, call the police. I just got into the truck and drove away, so he got onto his tractor and left.

I pulled up to the house to unload, so I couldn’t see through the trees, but I could hear the tractor. As slow going as it was, it seemed to be on the road for a very long time. I wonder if he stopped at the other camera again or something. I’ll have to be extra observant when I do my evening rounds.

The whole incident lasted only a couple of minutes. It was pure chance that he was driving on the road with his tractor as I was getting home.

Now I have to decide if I want to go through the hassle of reporting the incident to the police. I’m not even sure which RCMP detachment covers our area anymore. It’s changed a few times. It’s not like they’ll do anything about it, but at least there would be a record of the incident.

*sigh*

Ha! This is what the WordPress AI image generator came up with for this post…

Imaged created by WordPress AI.

He didn’t come anywhere near that close to me, and the gate was closed between us, but… that’s hilarious.

Also, that’s not what a colostomy bag looks like but, whatever!

Gotta find the humour of the situation, somewhere!

The Re-Farmer

Adendum:

Well now.

As I was outside, watering the garden, I heard a quad coming up the road. With the lilac hedge providing a privacy screen, I couldn’t see who was going by, but I had my suspicions.

I was right.

Our vandal went up the road, then drove into our secondary driveway. This is completely overgrown with grass on the road side of the gate. When I realized the quad was in the driveway, I started walking over and recording video with my phone. After a while, I was able to see through the trees as the quad backed up into the road again, in a herky jerky sort of way. I could identify our vandal at that point. I think he was drunk again, from the way he was driving. Eventually, he got completely back on the road and kept on going, probably to visit at one of the other farms in that direction.

I went to the driveway and could just see where his tires had flattened some of the tall grass, so I could tell how far he went in, and how he was facing. He was checking out my brother’s stuff stored by the warehouse. Of course, our vandal has no way of knowing who the stuff belongs to. From his earlier ranting, he seems to believe they belong to me, which means – in his mind, at least – I’ve suddenly come into a whole lot of money or something.

Seeing this stuff and not knowing what’s going on seems to be driving him insane. Possibly literally.

Looks like my morning and evening rounds will now need to include checking on that gate, and my brother’s stuff in that corner.

*sigh*

That worked out unexpectedly well!

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First, the cuteness!

I just got back home again and spotted Poirot in with her babies, and had to pause for this.

I actually couldn’t see the little black one until viewing these files on my desktop! The little voidling disappears into the void of his mother’s fur. 😁

Last night, I remembered that we hadn’t done my mother’s monthly blook work yet, and that she had a fasting blood test to do as well. I made arrangements with her to come over this morning, aiming to get her to the lab, which is just a few blocks from her place, as early as possible, so she wouldn’t have to keep fasting for so long.

I ended up having a ridiculously early morning. I’ve been waking up as the days get light, which means I’ve been waking up earlier and earlier for a while now! This morning, it was about 5:30am, and I didn’t need to get up until later. While in the washroom, though, I heard suspect kitten noises, so I got a daughter to join me to check on them while feeding them. It’s much easier to get wet cat food to the kittens with a second person! I still had to close up the inner door on the sun room to let the babies have a chance to eat. Poirot and Brussel had left when I started dispensing the kibble, with Poirot heading off somewhere in the outer yard. Caramel’s kittens were in the cat house, of course, so I tucked their tray into the entry, hoping they would find it and eat before the other cats discovered it. I have noticed that the other adult cats don’t go into the cat house at all, now that the babies are in there, which is good.

By the time I finished my rounds, Poirot was back and at the sun room door, wanting in but too scared to let me come close and open it for her. It doesn’t actually close all the way; things have shifted too much over the winter. It jams onto the threshold enough to stay closed, but if a cat were to push against it, it opens – something some of the other cats have already figured out!

I headed out to my mother’s for about 8:30am. As I parked and headed in, I saw someone leaving and immediately thought it was probably the health care worker. Sure enough, I was right; I had just missed her. My mother remembered not to have breakfast with her pills, which was good. She was all dressed and ready to go, too… including a grocery list! Which I was happy to see, as I forgot to suggest I could do her grocery shopping while I was there. We had time to go over her list and the new flier. Whole chicken was on an excellent sale and she was okay with getting one, which made me happy. She is not getting enough protein, and we all need more protein as we get older.

That done, we headed to the lab in the hospital. She was the only one there, so they were able to take her in and get it done very quickly. So quickly, she actually complained as I was helping her out of the chair, that everyone is in such a hurry! The technician didn’t actually hurry, but was efficient in doing a very basic blood draw, but for someone who struggles just to get in and out of their slightly higher chair, I’m sure it feels way too fast!

Since she was out and about, and in need of breakfast, I suggested we try out the newly renovated and re-opened restaurant that she’s been wanting to go to for some time. Even when they were still closed and very much under renovation, she tried to get me to stop and go inside to see if they were open yet. 😄 I drove past it on the way to her place, so I knew it was open for breakfast. She happily agreed, but was then surprised when I drove to the highway. She wanted to go to the “new” restaurant, and this building has been there for a long time.

???

She then told me her neighbours were talking about a new restaurant. This was the only one that I knew about.

With the new renovations, this place now has a wheelchair ramp, but no automatic doors, which I found a bit odd. If I had not been there with her, my mother would have had a very hard time getting in on her own. They are clearly not completely finished with their plans, with dining tables in only one half of the space. Tables spaced nice and far apart, with plenty of room for someone to get through with a walker, even if there were people sitting in the chairs. At this time, though, there was only one occupied table.

We had a basic eggs, hashbrowns, meat (I had sausage, my mother had bacon) and toast breakfast. It was quite good, and the portions generous. Given that my mother was literally breaking her fast, she was quite hungry, so that worked out very well.

More people came in while we were eating and, my mother being my mother, she started talking to people at the other tables. As I was coming back from paying the bill, I caught the tail end of someone explain to Mom about the new restaurant she had been hearing about. It turns out it was more like a canteen in the rec centre that is only open a few days a week. No wonder I hadn’t heard about it!

Once we were done there, I took my mother home, since she was clearly getting pretty tired. When we got to her door, though, we found something in front of it.

A reusable grocery bag with a card in an envelop sticking out of it.

My immediate thought went to our vandal, while my mother started listing off all sorts of other possibilities.

I was right. Our vandal and come by and, with my mother away, had left things at the door for her.

My mother was so tired, she settled into her chair without pausing to take her jacket off. The bag turned out to have four mini fruit pies in it. I opened the card for her, too. It was a mother’s day card, and she was quite delighted by the chickadees pictures on the front. I opened it up and there was a note written inside from our vandal. It was from both him and his wife, though clearly his handwriting. The note was a brief mention about something his “cancer counsellor” told him. It was unusually benign, which suggests to me his wife actually saw and knew about the card, though it still reeked of manipulation. Other cards and letters he has left with her were typically quite nasty.

My mother was too enamored by the pretty chickadees to notice or care.

Once she was settled and comfortable, I headed out with her shopping list. I also needed to go to the post office, which is almost directly across the street from the grocery store, so I parked at the grocery store, then grabbed the envelopes to walk across and mail them, first.

I immediately noticed a very familiar looking vehicle.

While I was getting the envelopes out, I saw our vandal getting into it. My mother and I must have just missed him at her place by minutes!

As I walked across to the post office, he left the parking lot and I was concerned that he might have seen and recognized me, and would decide to go back to my mother’s again. So I got things mailed and did the shopping quickly. Not that it would have taken long, anyhow; my mother’s shopping lists are not long.

When I got back to my mother’s place with her shopping, the first thing I asked was if everything was okay. She was surprised to see me back so quickly – she hasn’t even taken her jacket off, yet! I explained to her about seeing our vandal and that I was concerned he would come back, if he’d seen me.

Then we promptly forgot all about him.

After the groceries were put away, I stayed longer to do a bit of housekeeping for her. There wasn’t much she needed done, so I was soon on my way home.

It was actually quite disorienting to realize it was not even 11:30 when I left.

By this time, things were starting to get quite hot, and the high winds were in full force. Our expected high of 27C/81F has been dropped to 25C/77F, which we are at right now and are expected to stay at for several more hours.

When I got home, I had to check on the raised bed covers, and they are all holding up to the wind. The portable greenhouse, however, is not doing as well. We had to tie the door open, as it was over 50C/122F in there. The door faces the house, and the wind is from the south, so at least the doorway is sheltered, but plastic covering the frame is still ballooning. At some point, the ties for the door came loose, so it was flapping. My husband’s window faces it, so he was able to let us know and my daughter fixed it. She ended up draping a broken hose over it, and pushed the cat trap right against one side of it, to try and reduce the ballooning. That actually helped quite a bit. Unfortunately, the plastic around the doorway is starting to tear. Where it’s attached to the zipper already had some tears, and that’s gotten much worse, but even at one corner, where the tie down loop is, has started to tear.

*sigh*

I can’t say I’m surprised by this, but I really was hoping it would hold out longer. At least the roof and three sides are still holding out. It’s just the side with the doorway. We’ll still be able to make it work out.

It’s getting time to feed the outside cats for the evening, so I’ll be heading outside to check on things soon. With this wind and heat, though, there is no way I’ll be able to continue clearing out the garden bed I started on, yesterday. The high winds are supposed to continue through the night, but tomorrow is supposed to be cooler (as in, just under 20C/68C) and the winds are supposed to die down by then, so I should be able to finish clearing that bed then. I have decided that I will plant peas down the middle of this bed, and potatoes on either side. Once the bed is clear, I will set up posts to hold trellis netting down the middle, then get netting on it right away, so that’s over and done with, before planting anything. If things go smoothly, I should be able to get the peas and potatoes planted by the end of the day.

If things go smoothly.

I don’t really count on that. 😄

Now to go feed some kitties and check for wind damage!

The Re-Farmer

Kitty update, and… discovering unfortunate things

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With today’s heat, the cats have been splayed out in the shade absolutely everywhere!

The sun room thermometer was reading 30C/86F, which was actually the same as outside. The kittens were also puddled all over the place! I got the ceiling fan going, though, so that will help.

We spotted some excellent progress with the kittens!

They have discovered, and are using, the litter box! Something most of the adult cats haven’t figured out. So far, I’ve seen three of the four bigger kittens using it, including the adorable one above.

I had started calling this one Baby Button, because it reminds me of button so much. Today, my daughter came up with a much more entertaining name.

Eyelet.

So we now have Oofus the Brave and Eyelet named.

I checked on the cat house kittens. With today’s heat, I unplugged the power to the cat house, so the heat bulb will now be off, and so is the heated water bowl. Unless we drop below freezing overnight, we probably won’t need to plug it back in again.

I so wish we could reach into there! Once we have the chance, I want to cut a section out of the back wall and turn it into a door. That way, we can reach in and give them their own food and water, without having to lift the roof. The only other way to do it is through the entrance, which is at the opposite side of the cat house, and there is a sort of “porch” over what had been the original entrance. We can’t reach in very far, and other cats would just eat it first. These kittens look like they aren’t even leaving the cat bed yet, though they’re getting close.

My brother and his wife had come out again, today. I wasn’t expecting them at all and didn’t realize they were here until I went outside, just in time to see them leave!

With the message my brother got from our vandal yesterday, he wanted to talk to my mother about how our vandal found out they’d sold their property. He was too tired to visit her after hours working on that tree that fell on the outhouse, so he stopped by today.

Surprisingly, it actually turned out to be a good visit. He brought lunch, which turned out to be a good thing. My mother had gone to church, which tired her out enough that she went to sleep after, and she hadn’t eaten since whatever crackers she had when she got her med assist in the morning. After lunch, he set up my mother’s AC, in spite of her admonishing him that it’s too early, and then was all surprised that he got it done so quickly. He asked about the remote control so he could set it up, and she didn’t know where it was. He did some digging and finally found it, and was able to reprogram the default temperature on it. My mother does prefer things a lot warmer, as she gets older!

He did play the message our vandal had left him. My mother started going on about how he was the reason she moved away from the farm, because she was tired of his abusive behaviour (leaving my dad to be abused by him instead, but that’s another issue). Then she said that he keeps coming over and bringing her soup, and she tells him not to because his behaviour makes it taste bad.

She also said that the things he said in the message are much like what he says to her, and that he doesn’t let her get a word in when he’s there.

Yet… she doesn’t tell him to stop coming by.

When my brother asked about how our vandal knew they’d sold their property, she admitted that she might have mentioned it to him, a couple of weeks ago.

…

*sigh*

Then we found out that when he comes to visit my mother, when he walks down the hall, he tells everybody he meets all the accusations against me, my daughters and my brother about the farm and what he thinks we’re doing and saying. It turns out he even wrote out some long letter describing what he thinks we’re doing and left it in the common room. My mother didn’t see it until some time later and she tore it up. *sigh* She keeps all sorts of junk, but something important like this, and she tears it up!

Finding this out did explain something for my brother. While we was at his car and getting things to go inside, he started chatting with a guy that lives in my mother’s building. Not someone he’s met before. As they were talking and the guy realized he was my mother’s son, he said, “oh, so you’re the one who took the farm…”

My brother was so stunned and confused, he couldn’t say anything in response.

Now he knows why this guy said that.

The crazy thing is, the people in my mother’s building see me and recognize me. We’ve exchanged greetings and light conversation. I’m sure some of them have seen my brother, too. They know us.

So why would they believe the rantings and ravings of our vandal? Why would they even put up with him blathering at them in the common areas?

It’s getting to the point where I think I’m going to have to consult with a lawyer again. I’ve still got my Legal Shield membership, so any consultations are covered. It’s one thing for our vandal to be saying his crazy stuff about us to my mother or on phone messages. While I’ve suspected as much for some time, this is the first time it’s actually been confirmed that he is slandering us to others – even complete strangers. I don’t know that there’s much in Canadian law that we can do about it, but I can at least find out!

*sigh*

For someone who claims to be dying of cancer, he apparently hasn’t slown down even a little bit when it comes to his hate towards us. All because he thinks he’s somehow entitled to the property! I do understand that it isn’t even about him wanting it for himself so much and not wanting my brother to have it, or for us to be living here. In the 10 Commandments, it says “thou shalt not covet…” This is an example of covetousness. It’s one thing to see what others have an think “I wish I had that” and resent them for it. That’s your basic envy. It’s quite another to see what others have and think, “I should have that, not them,” and try to prevent others from having what they want, or try to have it taken from them. Marxism/socialism in a nutshell, really. The covetous person would rather see a thing destroyed, then see someone else have it. Or destroy the person who has what they want, and be willing to misuse the law and those in authority to do it. That is what our vandal is like.

Which makes it so frustrating when my mother just enables him and even allows him to turn her against my brother and me. He manipulated her so easily!

Another reason to try and get my mother into long term care or assisted living as soon as possible. There will be that extra layer of protection, and hopefully, our vandal won’t know where my mother will be at all.

*sigh*

The Re-Farmer

They’re open!

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While doing my morning rounds, I found that Brussel had left her babies and gone outside. This gave me a chance to take a peak at them before she returned, and I gave her her wet cat food treat.

The babies are a lot more mobile now, and their eyes are now open!

You can see the calico’s eyes in the first image, and the black and white kitten can be seen blinking in the video at the end.

I went to my mother’s today and was gone long enough that it was time to feed them again when I got home. I started that before even going inside, and asked my daughter to bring a jug of warm water for them. I was coming back into the sun room when she warned me about the stinky kitty!

She says this little guy had been hiding under that shelf all day!

This is the little one I’m not sure what to make of. He seems… lost, somehow. He’s quite a bit smaller than the couple of others that I’ve been seeing. He and the cats don’t seem to mind each other. I’ve sort of given up trying to chase him out, since he just goes under that shelf instead of out the door. The others will leave the sun room when I go to chase them out, sometimes even just by telling them to leave through the intercom on the critter cam, but not this little guy.

That crunching noise they make when they eat the kibble is very distinctive!

Anyhow…

Today has turned out to be a lovely day. Which was appreciated since my mother had to actually go with me for some of her errands. I’d made a point of eating breakfast before I left, since I wasn’t planning to eat at her place with my current Lent restrictions. I have given up sugar, but my mother gives up meat on Fridays. She did ask me to pick up some wedges for her, forgetting that she got her Meals on Wheels today. They tend to have fish on Fridays in general; today, it was a tuna sandwich for the main protein portion. She had enjoyed most of her wedges before it got delivered, so she just ate the soup and saved the rest for later.

This time, I remembered to take her blood pressure, though I had to ask her where she’d put the machine. It should be left on the table, tucked away behind her telephone’s base, next to the lock box, but she decides it takes up too much space, and hides it. This time, it was in the linen closet.

As she was eating her wedges, I went into the lock box to get her lab requisition paperwork for this month. The printouts had ended up on the bottom of her lock box and I had to really did to get them out.

Which is why I found the pill.

One of her medications – a pill she takes once in the morning, and again, just before bed – was loose on the bottom of the box. I checked her bubble packs in there to see which medication it was. There is no way to know how long it’s been in there. Even before we got the lock box, the home care aids are supposed to empty the bubble pack capsule for the time of day into a tiny bowl with a lid I’d given my mother, specifically for this. When she first started getting med assists, there were a couple of times when a pill was almost lost, just on her table, and another was found on the floor when she was sleeping. That’s why I brought the tiny bowl. It’s a sauce bowl made to look like a miniature tagine, so it has a conical lid. I ended up putting the found pill into the bowl, along with a note for the next home care aid. The pill would need to be thrown out, but they need to know that this happened, even if we have no idea when. Their job is to make sure my mother takes her meds properly. For them to start losing pills and not even notice is a problem!

My mother had other things she needed help with today, and I was able to get some things done before we left for our first stop, the lab at the nearby hospital (that doesn’t really have any doctors!). I had my own requisition forms from my doctor, which I’d left in the truck, yesterday. Which was an oops. It turns out my blook work required fasting. I was able to get my EKG done, though.

From there, we went to her bank for some cash, then to the pharmacy to get her bubble packs. They were going to be delivered later in the day, but she wasn’t sure if there would be money owing on it or not. It turned out there was; the fiscal year for her pharmacare deductible has flipped. She had stayed in the truck, so when I came back to tell her house much it would be, she was surprised and said she’d never paid that much before. Which just means she doesn’t remember, since it would have been a year since she’s had to pay. I explained it a bit, as she thought that getting charged for her meds was some random thing. She would not have understood what a deductible is, but she did understand that she’d have charges every April.

Not that she’ll remember, next April! Hopefully, by then, she’ll be in the supportive living situation she wants to be in.

After that, my mother was ready to go home. Once I got her inside and settled in, I got a couple of loads of laundry started for her, then headed to the grocery store with her shopping list. It turned out to be timed perfectly. By the time I got back, her wash was ready to be loaded into the driers.

I had to make a few substitutions on her shopping list this time, and I always go through everything with her while I put things away. I even made sure to open the milk carton for her. Her local grocery store only carries the 2L cardboard cartons now, instead of the plastic jugs. They can be difficult to open at the best of times. The last time I opened one for her, I had to use a knife to separate the carboard! This time, it opened properly, but my mother still would have had a hard time with it.

While waiting for her laundry, I had time to do some more housekeeping stuff for her.

Which is when we talked about a gift bag that was set aside when I first arrived.

From our vandal.

It turns out he had come over this morning, not long before I got there. She had told him I was coming and he apparently completely lost it and started saying some really horrible things about me. My mother didn’t want to repeat what he said, but confirmed that it was “the usual”. She said she told him that his hate is why he’s so sick now. He won’t let her talk, though. If she tries to stand her ground and respond to what he says, he just leaves.

The bag turned out to have a small head of cabbage, a couple of onions, and a jar of soup wrapped in paper towel to insulate it.

My mother has told him repeatedly, not to bring her soup. She says the terrible things he says and does makes it taste bad.

There was also an envelope, with written instructions that what was inside was only for her to read.

Which, of course, is the last thing she should actually do.

I ended up opening the envelop for her, then handed it to her to do as she wanted. There were some copies of a photo of our vandal in there, clearly taken while he was at the hospital, though not in a hospital bed. Then she started trying to read the letter, out loud.

After a while of her struggling to read it, I offered to read it to her.

Once I saw it, I could see why she was struggling! It wasn’t just because English is not her first language, or her eye sight. It wasn’t even because his writing was messy; in fact, it was somewhat more legible than usual. Just looking at the shakiness of the writing, he clearly is having a hard time controlling the mobility of his hands. No, it was the content and some of the very strange spellings of things. He had some terrible things to say about me, of course. According to him, I’m to blame for his cancer – and his doctor and counsellor agree, 100%. He also claimed I told my mother the soup from him is poison. ???!!!??? Plus a few other things that had us wondering where his mind is at, because they were complete inventions.

We talked about him for a while. Thankfully, my mother was able to handle the contents of the letter better than in the past, and she didn’t try to defend or make excuses for him.

Then I put everything back in the envelope, set it aside, and we moved on to other things.

All in all, even with the issue of our vandal, it turned out to be a really good visit. My mother was in good spirits, even if she was clearly really struggling to move around her apartment. The visit went well, the laundry and housework got done, and my mother is now well stocked with groceries and her medications.

Just before I left, my mother checked the time and realized that I was there for five hours! We got lots taken care of in that time.

It actually felt like I wasn’t gone that long, because it was still so bright out by the time I headed home. I am just loving these longer days!

It’s going to be extra nice once the snow is gone, and we can start getting work done in the garden!

Which I sort of started this morning.

Which I will share about in my next post!

The Re-Farmer

Catching up and planning ahead

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First, the cuteness!

I just got back from doing the evening outside cat feeding. When I got to the isolation shelter, Kohl was right at the sliding window. She didn’t want food – she wanted attention!

So I gave it to her for as long as I could. She actually made it hard to close the sliding window, because she kept pushing her head through. I did take her out to cuddle her, which she was good with until she wanted back in, but she still wanted pets!

Eye Baby also wanted attention, but the fluffy male is still a stranger. I was able to pet him this morning, while he was eating wet cat food, but that was all he would tolerate. Eye Baby, once the way was clear, was as demanding of pets through the window as Kohl was.

None of them have shown any interest in trying to “escape” the isolation shelter.

In other things…

Last night, I got a message from my brother. Sadly, seeing me at the church closing service triggered our vandal. I thought thing had gone well, but nope. He left another message with my brother. He had some pretty nasty things to say about me, and my younger daughter in particular, and her beard. Of course, he has no idea about her PCOS – or anything else. He hasn’t seen my daughters in years, and only seen me in passing. How he even knows this, I don’t know, because I have no idea who else we have in common that would have described her to home – or why they would do that in the first place.

In the end, he was telling my brother to kick us out. He wants my brother living here, not us. He’s also demanding to meet face to face with my brother. My brother spent years asking to talk to our vandal, trying to find out what happened between them, and our vandal never responded. Now, he’ll insult my brother in the messages while demanding they meet face to face? Oh, and using his cancer as a weapon to try and manipulate my brother, just like he used my late brother and late father to try and manipulate my mother for so many years.

For someone who says he’s dying, he sure doesn’t look or sound like it. Not that that means anything.

My poor brother was really upset. He transcribed the message for me, which meant he listened to it over and over. I quite understand how traumatic that can be. I’ve had to do similar, years ago.

After we had a chance to talk, I ended up sending a message to my neighbour that had ranted at me in the church parking lot. I was going to not bother, but after the message – and a comment our vandal made that suggested to me that he and our neighbour had talked about what happened, since our vandal was already inside the church when some things were said – I changed my mind.

I didn’t address a lot of issues, but did point out some things our vandal has clearly been lying to him about, included the transcription of the new message and attached the last two, which were much more vile, as well. I also called him out on how he treated me and told him, never again. I told him, I wasn’t angry with him (I don’t waste my energy on anger) and I don’t hold grudges, but if he’s got a problem with me, we can have a conversation, but not that.

This morning, I found a brief response from him saying we could have a conversation, but he was pretty blindsided by things. Which is totally understandable. I hate that he has been dragged into the mess like this. I love him like another brother, though, and I would hate to lose his friendship over what our vandal is doing.

At this point, I’m am thinking it may be time to consult a lawyer to see what sort of legal action we can take. It’s not just about the slander anymore, when he is demanding my brother evict us. The irony is, one of the reasons we are here at all is because of our vandal. My brother and his wife were going to move here and rent their property out, but between our vandal and my mother’s mistreatment of my brother, they (rightfully) changed their minds.

Meanwhile, I just got a call from a hospital about my mother. She has finally been booked for an MRI.

On New Year’s day.

Before 8am.

Good grief.

Still, we had to take it. Otherwise, she would have been put on the bottom of the waiting list and who knows how long it would take for the next appointment they could get her.

Overall, though, today was a quiet home day. Tomorrow morning, I’m booked to pick up our beef share, then the day after, I’m booked to do my mother’s grocery shopping.

In the middle of everything else, I’m going to be starting my garden analysis posts. I’ve already started organizing notes and going through old garden blog posts. Normally, I would have done this in November, but that just didn’t work out.

It’s going to be interesting. So much changed from what our plans were, to what we actually ended up doing in the garden. All of which will help us decide what we will be doing next year, though with the direct winter sowing done in the fall, quite a bit of that is already decided!

So, for the next while, there should be quite a few gardening posts before Christmas!

In fact, I’m about to stary my first one, next.

I hope that others can learn from them as much as I do!

The Re-Farmer

A quick change in plans

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Today, I’d hoped to stay home for a few days (I really, really didn’t want to go to the dump today!) but when my husband needed something from the pharmacy, I figured I’d do that right away, since it was supposed to be milder. The next couple of days are supposed to get much colder.

A high of -9C/16F is milder, right?

It seemed all right when I headed out to feed the outside cats.

We had a light dusting of snow, but it wasn’t bad.

The full belly kitties were content to stay in the sun room. Not all of them, but enough to make nice, warm cuddle puddles!

The isolation kittens are doing fine, too.

It was a different story, once I started heading to town!

The first thing I realized was that the driveway needed to be cleared. Best to do it while the snow is still light and fluffy, too. Much easier on little Spewie. After closing the gate behind me, I made sure to message the family about that, because I knew I would forget once I got going again.

Driving conditions really sucked!

Once on the main gravel road, visibility was low with blowing snow, made all the more interesting when I had to cross paths with oncoming trucks bringing in bales. The trucks alone are wide loads, but their trailers were loaded 3 round bales wide. To fit them, about a third of a bale sticks out on each side of the trailers, adding about 3 feet to the total width. The main gravel road is wide enough for two vehicles to pass each other well enough, with room to spare, but it’s a very different story with these trucks! They did try to go to the side as far as they could, but with how slippery things can be under the snow, it wouldn’t take much to hit some ice on the shoulder and slide right into the ditches… and these ditches are narrow, steep and deep!

Even on the highway, it wasn’t much better. I found myself doing 70-80 kph (43-50mph) in a 100 (62mph) zone – and no one was trying to pass me!

I’m glad the roads were plowed yesterday, or it would have been so much worse!

Once in town, I did my errands, with my last stop at the grocery store. My husband had called in a prescription delivery for Thursday that I was able to pick up today, instead. At the grocery store, after refilling a couple of our 18.9L/5 gallon water jugs, I ended up taking advantage of some sales and picked up a few extra things besides what was on my list, and my older daughter’s list that she send funds for, once she found out I was going into town. Poor thing is not feeling well at all, today. PCOS sucks.

The drive home was not any better than the drive out, so it was slow going. I’ve driven in far worse. I just didn’t want to be driving at all today! Ah, well.

With the water jugs on top of everything else, I drove up to the house to unload, but had some troubles backing up to the main doors. The truck had to go over the sidewalk from the house to the gate, which was shoveled, and it was just too slippery!

I was quite happy to be parking the truck back in the garage!

My younger daughter was a sweetheart and took care of clearing the driveway after everything was put away, and the outside cats got a light feeding to keep them distracted. The isolation kitties seem very content in their shelter. I was even able to pet the fluffball! He started to run away, but once I started petting his back, he stopped and let me!

I’m going to be worrying about them over the next while, though. As I was writing this, I could see the temperature on my task bar dropping. We’re down to -14C/7F right now, but the wind chill is -30C/-22F!

The isolation kittens are protected from the wind, so that shouldn’t affect the heat lamps ability to keep them warm, but we’re supposed to drop to -25C/-13F tonight, and the high tomorrow is supposed to only reach -23C/-9F, with an overnight low of -26C/-15F, before wind chill. The next day is supposed to be slightly warmer, before our highs are supposed to get back into the single digits below freezing (Celsius).

Those would be good days to stay home, but I’m expecting to pick up our 1/8 beef share on one of those days. I’m just waiting on an email to confirm the date.

I hadn’t been home for long, when I got a phone call from my mother.

Guess who had just showed up at her place?

*sigh*

Yup. Our vandal. My surprising him by being there yesterday didn’t scare him off for long.

My mother was in the common room, though, and our neighbour was with him again, so he was on his best behaviour. Apparently, he was in the nearer city for “treatment” (chemotherapy?) so they stopped by on the way home.

I’m glad my mother called me as soon as she got back into her apartment after they left. In the past, she wouldn’t tell us if he showed up, even when he was alone and his behaviour was verbally abusive.

Then she told me that the doctor that was supposed to call her at 2pm, did finally call! It was past 4pm by the time he did. Thankfully, my mother still remembered our conversation, and on telling him how things went, his recommendation was exactly what I said was most likely. He wanted to increase the dose of the medication.

Then my mother, being the way she is, asked him if she could just stop taking them. What would happen? His response was, probably nothing would change. She could stop taking them, if she wanted, but to call him again if things got worse.

*sigh*

I just had to express my frustrations with her, as carefully as I could. She keeps complaining about all sorts of health problems, but when people try to help her, she won’t do the things that she is supposed to do to make things better. When we first moved out here, she mostly complained about her knees, but refused to wear the braces my brother got for her (as recommended by her doctor at the time), for her knee that’s bent sideways. I forget it he got two or three different braces, trying to find one she was willing to wear, but she wouldn’t. Instead, she would wear sport knee pads. They kept her knees warm, therefore, in her mind, they were helping her knees more than the brace.

It’s the same thing with this new medication. I tried to explain again, it takes time to see if a specific medication would work, and at what dose. As an example, I told her how my husband it still trying to get the dose right on the new pain medication he’s on (the previous one is no longer available), and it’s been about a year. Her response was to start talking about how much she pities us for him having health problems, but I had to cut that off. I told her, this was just an example of something that is common. Everyone is different, so they have to take the time to figure out exactly what will work for each person.

Her bubble packs are due for new ones, and the doctor would be faxing the increased dosage to her pharmacy, so I told her that when she gets her new bubble packs, they should have the new dosage, and nothing would change. Just keep taking her prescriptions as always, and give it time to work.

I don’t know if I got through to her. I might have, at least for a little while.

I’m so glad she has homecare doing med assists, now. Even with the bubble packs, she was messing with her prescriptions. Which is more of a problem because she forgets what some of them are for, and gets them mixed up.

I need to remember to call the home care office and see where her application for assisted living or a nursing home is at! There’s only so much my siblings and I can do to help her. Especially when she isn’t willing to help herself at times!

So today didn’t turn out the way it was intended to, but things got done and, more importantly, my mom is okay after our vandal showing up at her place again.

I really, really wish she would just tell him to not come around anymore, but she still holds out home that things will get better.

Another reason to get her into some sort of long term care! She can move to a better living situation, and no one needs to tell him where she is. As long as she doesn’t tell him herself, of course. 🫤🙄

Ah, well. It is what it is! All we can do is deal with the cards we’ve got.

The Re-Farmer

Well now…

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… I am extra glad I had to go to my mother’s place today!

The trip itself was not particularly pleasant. We had that super warm day when everything melted, then we got snow on top of that. Yesterday, the southwestern part of our province was hit with a snow storm, but we were fortunate. I saw photos and video people shared on FB, and the one that blew me away was the sand truck – upside down in a ditch!

We got snow, but no storm. When I headed out, the roads were not plowed yet, though I could see the plow trucks were out. While our temperatures were below freezing, between the traffic and the darker surface, the highways were melting in patches, making things even more potentially dangerous. I took it slow, and was pleased to see, most of the other traffic was taking it slow, too! We’ve got good tires and a good truck, but there’s no weight in the back, so it doesn’t take much before I can feel it wanting to fishtail.

I left quite early and still had time when I got to my mother’s town. I decided to fill the gas tank and pick up some fried chicken for my mother and myself for lunch. I remembered that today is Monday, so she would have her Meals on Wheels delivery, so I asked to have the food split between two boxes, so she could have hers later in the day.

As I was paying for everything, one of the regular staff who was having her own lunch break started chatting, asking if I was having lunch with my mother today. I told her, sort of, and mentioned she would be having her Meals on Wheels, so I got hers separate for later. That’s when a customer sitting at another table (this gas station has several tables for people to sit down and have their coffee or chicken dinners) said that she would not be getting her Meals on Wheels today – all deliveries were cancelled today! With the road conditions, I’m not surprised.

So I was extra glad I’d decided to pick up food while getting gas!

I still got to my mother’s early, which was still good. I was able to get some stuff done for her before we settled down to eat. She still has her cold, and was feeling rather sorry for herself. She has developed a terrible habit, though, of making herself gasp and pant. She says it makes her stomach feel better. ??? It’s rather alarming to hear, and then she just stops and starts breathing normally.

As I was boiling water for tea, I asked her which tea she wanted and she suggested the immunity boosting teas my sister got for her, that she’s been drinking since she has a cold.

There were two different kinds, and they were both citrus based.

*sigh*

So my mother is supposed to avoid citrus, etc., but my sister keeps getting her this stuff!

At least the Cup-o-soup went over well, but I’m pretty sure those have onion in them, which is also on the avoid list.

While puttering in her kitchen, I remembered to look at her cupboard doors and saw that the printout of foods that she needed to avoid, and which were still good, for her acid reflux, was gone. There was just a bit of torn tape left where it was.

*sigh*

After we ate, we talked about her upcoming appointment and what to tell the doctor. She brought up again, how she figured she should just stop taking the pills, because they aren’t doing anything. She says there has been no change. I went through again that he’d explained: he was going to start her on a low dose first, and if that didn’t help in 3 months, he would increase the dose for another three months. Or, he might try prescribing a different medication, but that is less likely.

I asked her if she were following the other instructions he’s given her, and if she still had the information printout with all that on it.

No, she wasn’t doing the other stuff, and she didn’t know where the printouts were anymore.

*sigh*

She started complaining again about how she’s taking soooo many pills, and she’s tired of taking soooo many pills.

She’s not taking that many pills and, right now, one of them is basically a special multi-vitamin for her eye with dry macular degeneration, to keep it from getting worse.

I reminded her of just how fortunate she really is. I told her how many pills my husband takes, plus two injections, and even he isn’t taking all that much compared to some people. The thing is, the pills are doing their job, so she’s not feeling the things they are there for, so she thinks they are not needed. She’s not understanding that if she stops taking them, all these things they are protecting her from would start making her sick. I can’t imagine how terrible she would be feeling, for example, if she were NOT on the acid reflux pill, when just having a bit of citrus makes her think she’s dying (until she takes some Pepto).

Her phone appointment was at 2pm. When it was 10 after, she started saying, maybe they forgot about her. Another five minutes, and she was saying, maybe we should call them. I told her, if we were at the appointment in person, we’d just be sitting in a waiting room right now.

Still, I did find the number and tried calling the clinic. The automated system eventually got me to a message saying they were so busy, they weren’t taking any more messages, but to leave a message (???) and they would get back to the caller in 48-72 hours.

!!!!!

So I hung up, since there really wasn’t much point in leaving a message, when it was still possible they’d be calling.

My mother, however, was getting really tired by then and falling asleep in her chair. I finally told her, go ahead and lie down. I would stay close to the phone. Just give me time to go to the bathroom first, she could like down and leave the phone to me.

I had just gone into the bathroom and was closing the door when I heard a quiet knock.

Who would be knocking on my mother’s door at this time?

So I started opening the door again to answer the door for her, but it was already being opened.

There was our vandal, saying something about how my mother must be on the phone, walking right into her apartment! The bathroom door opens out and partially blocks the entryway, so when I was basically right in front of him when our vandal saw me and stopped dead in his tracks.

He quickly said he had to go. There was a container in his hand he quickly dropped on her dining table, and practically ran out the door.

Behind him, I could see a neighbour he’d brought along. I was very happy to see our neighbour. This is someone else I grew up with and consider family. He’s a very good man, and has been a sort of go-between for us, trying to get our vandal to see some sort of sense.

When he saw me, from the hallway, he looked like he was fighting back laughter.

Our vandal had left so fast, he’d left the door to close on its own behind him. I was able to grab the door and say high to our neighbour as he was leaving, but our vandal had gone down the hall so fast, I couldn’t see him anymore.

When I turned back, there was my mother, laughing.

I am so glad I was there! While my neighbour would have made sure our vandal treated my mother well, having him show up, on top of my mother being sick with a cold, would not have been pleasant for her at all.

I wasn’t really surprised to see him. I’d already called my mother to warn her he might suddenly show up, since I’ve been seeing him stalking our driveway again. I just expected him to show up earlier than today!

As for the container he left, it looked like it had pea soup in it, or something like that. My mother told me, she didn’t want it. She already had two other containers in her freezer from his, she doesn’t want. She said, with the way he talks and the things he says, it makes the food taste bad.

I totally get it.

I ended up popping it into the freezer, though, to be dealt with later.

After that little adventure, my mother was able to lie down and I settled into her armchair, in her view, with the phone.

Well, wouldn’t you know, as soon as she lay down, suddenly my mother was wide awake.

Our vandal showing up might have had a bit to do with that.

After a while, she gave up and got up.

By then, it was almost 3, and the doctor still hadn’t phoned. I didn’t want to stay much longer, as it would be getting dark soon. So I called the clinic number back and this time, left a message.

The drive back was both better and worse. Better, because the roads had been cleared by then. Worse, because I was not driving right into the wind and getting buffeted a lot more. Again, most vehicles were also taking it slow, which was much appreciated.

I got home in time for the evening feeding for the outside cats. I quickly did that, topped up their water, and played with Kohl in the isolation shelter for a bit.

Patience was not very patient just then! He was a hungry boy. 😊

Then I grabbed something to clear windows with and went to my brother’s truck to clear the windows of snow, so his solar trickle charger could get some light. I’ve since learned that another truck that’s parked here also has a trickle charger, so I’ll have to remember to clear that vehicle’s windshield, too, the next time I’m out there.

All in all, I’d say it was a good day, even though the telephone doctor’s appointment never happened. It meant I was there when our vandal showed up, and that made it worthwhile it all on its own!

The Re-Farmer

A sudden outing, and wow. Just… wow

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With today being an inside day, I did finally start working on editing the garden tour video I have planned.

Then I got a message from my SIL.

My brother was soon to be on his way to our mother’s, to put her AC away for the winter – something he hasn’t had the time to do for weeks. Did I want to be there?

Of course!

Being able to see my brother is always a joy.

However, my presence would also help prevent some of the nasties my mother likes to throw at him when no one else is around.

By the time I headed out, the predicted rain had hit us, and it was pouring! The driveway was already full of water. It was also full dark by then, so the drive to my mother’s town was NOT done at highway speeds!

I left our place not that long after he left his, and he still got there before I did! I didn’t realize that until he phoned me, asking if I could pick up some milk for our mother. The grocery store was closed by then, because it’s Sunday, so I made a dash to a gas station to get some milk for her. By the time I got inside, he was almost finished, so there wasn’t much left for me to help with.

Then we sat for a visit and a chat.

A somewhat serious chat.

It turned out our vandal showed up to visit my mother recently. My mother didn’t remember the exact day, but it was a day when her Meals on Wheels arrived, so we know it was at least on a Monday, Wednesday or Friday.

She was all impressed that he’d brought some chicken drumsticks for lunch, though he ate them himself because she had her meal delivered while he was there.

Her big surprise was when the social worker that volunteers to deliver this not only knew our vandal, but greeted him with a big hug.

There were a few other things she crowed over with his visit, which really bothered my brother and I. It doesn’t seem to matter how badly our vandal acts; all he has to do is bring some chicken or go to a town meeting she approved of, and she can’t say enough good about him.

The conversation did remind my brother that he had another “carrier message” voicemail notification from his phone. He’d deliberately not listened to it because the only calls like that have been from our vandal, even though his number is blocked, and my brother just didn’t need that stress in the middle of everything they’ve been doing with the move.

So he brought up the message, and all three of us listened to it.

Yes, it was from our vandal.

Wow.

It was absolutely vile.

Some of the things he was saying about me and my daughters were just disgusting, mostly centered on our weight, the fact that we don’t “work” (meaning, not having outside jobs he considers real jobs), and involved a lot of swearing.

There were a number of other things that showed he was just making things up in his own head, some of which left us scratching ours, trying to figure out how he came to those conclusions.

He somehow found out about my saying something on Facebook – my personal page – about our hot water tank and went on a bizarre tangent about that. Apparently, if we had outside jobs, the tank would… not break? Magically fix itself? I have no idea.

He has obviously noticed that there are a lot of commotion and things showing up here at the farm. He made a comment about it, lamenting that he can’t come over to see, because he would instantly end up in prison.

That’s not how things work, but if it keeps him away, I’m good with him believing that.

He has no idea what’s going on, and it seems to be driving him bonkers.

As horrible as the things he was saying was, my mother needed to hear it. The version of him that shows up at her place lately is not the real him. These phone messages are the real him. He is absolutely obsessed with his hatred of me and my daughters (he seems to forget my husband exists). He used to direct this hate at my brother, and still tries to say that our late father wanted this property to be bequeathed to our vandal, not my brother. Meanwhile, we have a telephone message my father left on my brother’s answering machine, shortly before he died, saying he wanted it to go to my brother.

Thankfully, ownership has already been transferred to my brother, so it is safe. There is nothing about it in my mother’s will for our vandal to try and contest.

This was quite a wake up for my mother, to hear all this. This message would have been left shortly before or after he had visited my mother in person. She should not be allowing him in. Perhaps after hearing this, she may stop. Unlikely, but it’s one more reason it would be better for my mother to be in a long term care facility, as she wants. Our vandal doesn’t have to know where she is, and if he does find out, he can be on file as not allowed to see her.

It also got us to talking about what he seems to be trying to do. He somehow seems to think my mother can still give him the farm, as if she could somehow take ownership back from my brother. Our vandal has his own acreage, and oodles of equipment and out building and vehicles… he is quite well set up. He doesn’t need this place, nor anything on it.

It’s not about him wanting it for himself so much as to make sure I don’t have it – even though it’s my brother that owns it. He is a shining example of what it means to “covet” something. To covet is not just to want something that someone else has, but to take what someone else has from them.

So… Marxism on an individual scale. 😄

Even my mother was able to understand this.

All in all, it did put a downer on the visit but, considering how my mother responded to our vandal showing up at her place, it was really important that she hear it, and that we could talk about it with her.

We couldn’t stay too much longer, though. My brother no longer takes vacation days on Mondays, now that the move is done and the new owners have taken possession of the property they sold, so he had to get back home. Their new place is slightly closer, but it’s still at least an hour’s drive for him. Plus, there was a break in the rain that wasn’t going to last long, so I wanted to get home before it hit again, too.

I will be back to help my mother with her grocery shopping and errands soon, but she needs this far less often, now that she’s got the Meals on Wheels deliveries.

The weather predictions for the next while look pretty mild, so hopefully I’ll get more done outside. Tomorrow, however, I’m hoping to get the truck loaded up with the bags of aluminum again, and this time actually make it to the scrap yard! The rain is supposed to continue until about 10am tomorrow, but I’ve got a tarp over the sorted bags, so that should make loading the truck less unpleasant!

We shall see what the day brings.

Meanwhile, time to get back to editing some video…

The Re-Farmer

What a great day, with some excellent updates

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I am really happy with how things have turned out today!

First, we have the cat isolation shelter.

It took all day, but it is now useable! It has been moved close to the house, and the cats love it. Here is a short video I took to post on Instagram.

I was able to make the sliding doors, but one of them turned out to be a real pain. The wood lath covering the insulation on the other side, were not all the same widths, with some sticking out further than others. There was no way the panel could slide over it. So I made a stopper, instead, and it can only slide the other way. We’ll just have to be careful not to slide it out so far that it’ll fall out.

The other side was downright easy, after that!

Once those were in, I got my daughter to hold the front window in place while I drilled some pilot holes and put screws into the corners. Once that was done, she could let it go, and we added more screws to secure it.

Then, finally, we could put the roof pieces on.

Which turned out to not be as long as the boards they were being attached to. We have excess wood sticking out, front and back The back is the “handle” to lift the roof, anyhow, so I’m not too concerned about that, though at some point we’ll want to replace the strip of wood lath across the back with something sturdier. As for the pieces sticking out the front, I ended up using them to help steer as we moved it. We might cut them flush with the roof later, though.

I had to abandon my daughter part way through moving it, as my brother arrived with another load to drop off. After greeting him and he went to unload, I had a chance to take a short video of the isolation shelter. My daughter had left it in an open spot for me to do that. Eventually, I will put together a video of the entire process, which dragged on for so much longer than expected. After that, I moved the shelter closer to the house.

The door/ramp doesn’t have a latch, though – the ones I had were not large enough – so it kept dropping open, even though we’d taped it shut. The down side of using salvaged materials. One of the boards of the ramp cracked after hitting the ground. I had to add a couple more screws to fix it. Which was fine, but it required closing the door to do it.

The kitten that was inside the shelter was not happy about that! 😄

The last thing that really needs to be done is to find a latch for the door/ramp. We also need to get more paint, but that’s mostly cosmetic.

Once we work out exactly where it will stay for the winter, we’ll hang the clamp lamp with the heat bulb under the roof and get that ready for plugging in for the winter, preferably with a timer. I’d also like to attach handles to make it easier to move. The handles I had that I thought we could use are not strong enough.

After moving the isolation shelter closer to the other cat shelters, I grabbed a couple of winter squash as a gift for my brother, and went to join him while he worked. While we were there, we started hearing a noise.

A noise he identified as splashing water on metal.

From the septic expeller.

I couldn’t believe that’s what we were hearing, so we went to take a look. Sure enough, there was water coming out of the pipe!

It was not coming out as well as it should have been; it was almost dribbling down the outer pipe, and the sheet of metal that’s there to prevent erosion at the base was being partially missed. The pipe itself is leaning a bit back and to one side, instead of being straight up, which I’m sure isn’t helping, either.

I’m amazed that it was working at all. I was just there earlier today, taking photos, and saw no sign that water was being ejected from that pipe.

Oh! I completely forgot to mention!

With the one septic company ghosting us, I called the other and left a message this morning. The owner called me back less than half an hour later. They will be able to do the job for us. They are really busy and he couldn’t tell me when they can come out to fix the leak – it might be 3 or 4 weeks – but he told me that they could do the work even if the ground were frozen.

So that was definitely good news!

He asked me for photos of the expeller. While I was there, I made a point of looking to see if there was any sign that greywater has been flowing over the sheet of metal. That fact that there is some water flowing out the pipe, and not all just seeping into the ground, is actually a bit of a weight off my shoulders, making the timing of getting the repair done is not quite as urgent.

So that was more good news.

My brother had been able to come out sooner than he expected. It was still light out when he was done unloading, so he and I did a walkabout, including out to the car graveyard and the old farm equipment. I now know which things he wants to keep, and what can go to the scrap dealer – and it’s added a lot more to what the salvage company can come out for!

Oh, it’s going to be good to clear out this stuff.

My brother then came in to take a look at the bathroom, and the rot on the walls.

In the end, he said it’s not actually that bad. He said he wouldn’t bother taking it out at all, which would require taking the tub out. He suggested we just fix the taps from the other side, then cover it all with the new tub surround we already have.

Then we went around to the other side of the wall to talk about cutting an access panel. He’s pretty sure there is more aspenite under the paneling. We could take off the entire panel, but that would require removing the molding that’s over it, too. He suggested drilling through from the bathroom side to mark where to cut. Which is what I had been thinking, but only after cutting away the rotted aspenite around the taps. We have to figure out where the joists are; they should be 16″ apart, but the bathroom was installed while he was away in college, so he never saw how things were done.

So that is more good news. We don’t have to remove the tub and cut more of the walls away. He recommended we treat the aspenite with bleach, but we have some anti-mold product specifically for bathrooms we can use.

We can now put together a plan of action to get things fixed so we can use our tub and shower again!

Then my brother got his meter and we went to check the hot water tank – after shutting off the breaker! He tested the elements, and it turns out that it is the top element that is burnt out. The bottom one is working fine.

So we’ll be looking into getting a replacement for the top element.

I told him about the powered anode rod we are getting. Looking at the outlet near the hot water tank, I mentioned my thought of unplugging the extension cord that goes into my husband’s closet, then moving the plug for the well pump up, so we have room to plug in the new rod.

He advised against it.

As he put it, we’re already on borrowed time with that well pump, and he wouldn’t touch anything if it can be avoided.

We looked at the other outlet, where the sump pump is plugged in. He suggested running an extension cord from there, instead.

I will trust his advice and do that.

So we’re still without use of the tub and shower, and have only tepid water, but we now have a better idea of what to do next.

Which will be to get at the plumbing for the faucet set from the bedroom side and get that working, first. Then, even if it takes longer to get to the point we can install the tub surround, we can temporarily put plastic over where it’s cut open, so we can use the tub and not have to keep sponge bathing!

So… I rate that as more good news.

There was only one hiccup in the day that is more strange than anything else.

While my brother was unloading his truck, he got a voice mail notification on his cell phone – but his phone never rang. He joked that it was our vandal, because that’s who it was the last time this happened.

Well, after he left our place, my brother checked the voice mail, and it really was from our vandal!

I’ll get a copy of the message later, but it was much the same as last time. He’s wondering why my brother is “catering” to me – and we have no idea what he’s talking about. He also said that his doctor told him that the reason he got cancer is because of us, and that we are evil, evil, evil! He’s dying of cancer, and it’s our fault.

???

I’d say, he was drinking behind his wife’s back again.

At least he didn’t threaten us with “retribution” so extreme, even the Pope would be reading about it in a magazine, this time.

We are perplexed as to what triggered the call. Particularly since my brother was here when the voice mail was left. My brother thinks our vandal has been watching us, and saw that my brother had arrived, but I don’t see how.

Whatever the reason, my brother has our vandal’s number blocked, so he shouldn’t have been able to leave any voice mail message at all. The phone company is going to be getting a call about it, that’s for sure!

One thing else is for sure. When the scrap metal company comes to clean things up, we will have to watch out for our vandal, because he is going to go ballistic. He believes all this stuff rightfully belongs to him – but then, he thinks the entire property rightfully belongs to him.

Well, we’ll deal with that when the time comes. I’ll just be glad to get all this stuff cleaned out – and I’m sure the renter will be glad to see it gone, too, since his cows graze around almost all of it!

Oh, and I told my brother about the guy that wants to buy a couple of cars for parts, and how he will need to bring in special equipment to be able to get them out. I also told my brother that I’d arranged for him to use part of the money for the cars to pay back the guy that put a down payment on the old Farm Hand tractor, since I could see my brother wasn’t happy with the sale. My brother was happy to hear this.

So good news for him, too!

It’s just been a good day, overall, I’d say!

The Re-Farmer

Exhausting change of plans

/ Re-Farmer / 2 Comments

My goodness, what a day!

What??? It’s not even 3pm yet???

Okay, let’s back up a bit!

First, the good news.

While doing my rounds this morning, I saw Driver limping around – and he’s starting to put that front foot down and putting weight on it. Not much, and only briefly, but that’s a good sign.

He went onto the cat house roof for breakfast, and while he wouldn’t let me look too closely, I was able to see this.

It looks like whatever injury he has involves a toe, but that’s all I can see. In fact, I can see more in this cropped picture than I could in person.

Yesterday, I saw Judgement hanging out in the sunroom through the evening, which I was happy with. He seemed fine and content to sit in the bottom of the shelf to look out the window. This morning, however, I saw no sign of him – but I got a headcount of “only” 29, so quite a few cats weren’t around at the time. Shop Towel was also nowhere to be seen.

They very much like their new beds, though! Checking through the window last night, there was a mass of cats curled up among the beds and blankets under the platform. The one smaller bed went on top of the platform, next to the self warming mat. Shop Towel was on that one. He basically covered the whole thing, he’s so big!

After my rounds were done, I was starting breakfast when the phone rang. It was my brother, letting me know he was going to our mother’s place today, to replace the peep hole in her door and get a visit in. He was wondering if I could join him.

Of course, I said yes! 

I had intended to go into town this afternoon to pick something up that my husband asked for, but I could do that at my mother’s town, too. So I left quite early to take care of that first. The grocery store turned out to open a lot later than I thought, so I ran my other errands first and was waiting when I got another call from my brother. He’d called our mother ahead (hands free, of course) to let her know he would be coming by. After giving him grief about how he should be in church with her, she asked him to pick up a couple of things at the grocery store. 😁 Knowing that’s where I needed to go myself, he let me know what she needed, so I picked her stuff up, too. By the time my brother arrived and met up with me, our mother would have already left for church, so we headed straight to her place; my brother and I are the only ones that have been entrusted with spare keys to her place, for times like this – and for emergency wellness checks, if that every becomes an issue.

Once we were settled inside, he very quickly popped out the damaged peep hole.

Check this out.

The last time we were there, and my brother discovered the damage, he’d tried scraping off the stuff, unsuccessfully. We were pretty sure it looked like Krazy Glue. Now that it’s off, it quite clearly is some sort of instant glue.

Kinda like the glue that was used on our gate locks a few times.

We have no real idea of how long it has been like this, since my mother never bothers to look through it.

The new one is very pretty, and has a little cover on the inside so no one can look in from the outside. It turned out to be ever so slightly bigger than the hole, but my brother was able to enlarge it with a pocket knife. He was kicking himself for not thinking to bring his drill. Frankly, I think the pocket knife did the job just fine. You can’t even tell the hole was enlarged, the different is so slight.

Of course, once it was in, we tested it out, with one of us going into the hall while the other looked through. My brother thought it wasn’t focusing right, but when I started from against the wall across from her door and walked forward, he could see me perfectly fine once I was at knocking distance. The peep hole has a 120° view, so that’s good, too.

After that, we had time to check my mother’s CID and messages, and clear some of them out for her (she’s never been able to figure out her answering machine!), leaving a couple of mystery messages for now. One, we’ve determined was a wrong number. The other, the person used my mother’s name, and left her own name – both of which were very hard to hear, with the strong Polish accent, but we were able to make it out. The message was for my mother to call her back, but no number was left. Whoever it was assumed my mother already had it.

We weren’t able to match the CID numbers with the messages, though. Her answering machine doesn’t leave the same date and time information on them. 

Then I noticed something new. A picture. That, in itself, is not odd; my mother has photos, prints, pictures from newspaper articles, etc. all over the place. It wasn’t until we had the table set up for lunch, with me in the extra chair that’s normally never at the table, due to lack of space, that I was facing the picture and getting a real look at it.

It was a picture of my mother, with our vandal and his wife, sitting at a table in a local restaurant.

Which made the location of the picture downright creepy. She set it up on the little mirrored altar that my brother had repaired the light on for her not long ago.

There was nothing to tell us when she had gone out to dinner with them, but it had to have been fairly recently.

After a while, with lunch set up and tea ready, my brother was starting to wonder where Mom was, as she normally would have been home by then. Church is right across the street, so it’s not far for her to go. So he went out to look through the lobby window – and found Mom! She had sat herself down in front of the window to watch people as they left church, completely forgetting that my brother had told her he was coming over!

She was very happy to come in and have everything ready and waiting for her. Of course, that didn’t stop her from finding something to complain about, but we were able to distract her and settle in. My SIL had prepared lunch for us, including a Greek salad that was in a larger Feta container that sealed nicely and could be left behind. My mother, in the most convoluted way possible, eventually managed to tell my brother that he could take the container home, because it was such a nice container, etc. Once we were able to decipher what she was saying (I think she thought it was a yogurt container, so we were quite confused when she started talking about the yogurt container, when she turned out to actually be talking about the salad inside), my brother tried to explain that the container was used specifically so that it could be left behind. There was more than enough for her to have with another meal or two, and then the container could be put in recycling. Oh, no! It was far too good of a container to throw away…

…

After a while, we got to explaining to her about the peep hole being replaced, and my brother showed her the old one, with the glue clearly visible on it. None of the other doors had damage to their peep holes (my brother checked), only hers, and there’s only one person we know who goes around vandalizing things with Krazy Glue.

She then made a big deal about how we were fussing so much about the peep hole that she doesn’t use. We were just explaining to her what was done and showing her what we found. To her, that was “fussing” about it. Meanwhile, she was the one getting all worked up about it.

It did give us an opening to ask about the picture.

It took time to piece together her explanation, as she kept jumping all over the place, and we could see she was trying to protect our vandal. It turns out he and his wife had shown up at her place on his birthday, which was at the beginning of the month. This would have been before I’d come over to her place most recently, to help her with groceries. She’d never mentioned it to me. 

She then told us that he said he’d been trying to phone her first, but couldn’t get through – so she told him that my brother had set up her phone to block scam calls, and after listening to the last message our vandal had left with her, his number was blocked, too. So he now knows all about it, she told us.

*sigh*

Around that point, I told her, we’re working so hard to try and protect her from him, but she keeps undoing what we’ve done!

From there, she tried to lecture us. What’s between us and him has nothing to do with her! I reminded her, it has everything to do with her, and 10 years of abusive messages he’s been leaving with her, among other things. Then it had to be clarified that it was abuse with words, because yes, when he tells her that she’s not going to heaven because she won’t give him the property that we’re on, that now belongs to my brother (somehow, he seems to think she can still give it to him, even as he ranted in his answering machine messages about how she’s apparently given the property to me!). 

Then she started the whole “we need to forgive each other” and “none of us are perfect”, as if we were the ones going out of our way to cause problems! At one point, she went on about how she prays every night that we will reconcile with him, and that we shouldn’t hate him. I told her, we don’t hate him! He hates us! Especially me, at this point. She tries to say that he is somehow harmless, though she is still really upset about what he did to the gate.

…

*sigh*

Then she started going on about how he’s the only one still keeping in touch with my late brother’s (now adult) children. I told her, I did try to reach out to them. They didn’t respond. Our vandal has been lying to them and driving them away from us. Even in one of his answering machine messages, he complained about how they weren’t allowed on the farm. He’s the only one that’s not allowed here anymore. We’ve never said my brother’s children weren’t allowed here! 

She just doesn’t get it, and keeps making excuses for him. 

So we finally got past that conversation, but it did give my brother the segue to get my mother to look out the new peep hole. She got upset and tried refusing to get up, because we were making such a big deal out of is, but my brother got her up and to the door. Then he stepped outside into the hall, so she could see him through the peep hole.

Oh, I just had to laugh!

I’m on the short side of things, but even I need to bend down a bit to look through the peep hole.

The peep hole is higher than her head. 

She tried going onto tip toes, but all she could see was the ceiling, because she was still having to look up to see anything at all!

Well, no matter. The damaged peep hole has been replaced.

My brother did bring up about possible getting one that will record when someone’s at the door, and he and I can later check to see who’s been leaving stuff at her door. She said she knows who’s leaving stuff, and to be sure, with some things, she does. The social workers regularly leave little care packages for all the people in her building. That stuff, however, gets left at everyone’s doors. She has stuff being left at only her door. While we can be almost certain that it’s our vandal, we have no proof. Plus, she’s found notes taped to her door that were clearly not written by him, or his wife, telling her to give the farm to our vandal. We’ve never been able to figure out who did that.

We didn’t push, though. That sort of thing is more than she can grasp, and she was still upset that my brother fixed the peep hole.

The last challenge was just before we had to leave, as we suddenly realized it was starting to snow hard, and my brother had a long drive home on open highways. My mother remembered that she had a phone number for a relative in Poland she wanted to call, but was having troubles. As my brother asked her questions and tried the number himself – it didn’t work – my mother told him that she’s been told she would never be able to make a call to Poland on the cordless phone. Only on the corded phone.

???

My brother told her that was not at all true and asked who told her that. All I could figure out was that it was someone in her building, but whether it was someone who lived there, a visitor, or one of the social workers from the senior’s centre, I could never get the straight of it.

After a quick search, my brother found the problem. The number may have been written correctly for someone in Poland, but not for someone trying to call from another country! 

The other problem was that my mother had written the information out on a scrap piece of paper. As my brother tried to write down the corrected information, she started flipping out about it having to be written clearly – which there was no room for! – while she went digging for the original letter from among her papers. Once she got that out, my brother worked on deciphering the hand written numbers – some numbers are written differently in Polish than is typically written in English – for both a land line and cell phone, I was able to get her to find an actual note pad, where I could write out what she needed without anything else on there to confuse things. 

My brother then helped her call the land line, which worked by got a busy signal. The cell phone number kept ringing until it stopped, with no voice mail. The land line was tried a couple more time, and it finally started ringing, but no one answers – that that number didn’t have voice mail or an answering machine, either.

The concerning thing was that my brother had to walk my mother through pushing the button to hand up the cordless phone. A phone she’s had for at least 10 years. I’ve had to try and find the right buttons myself when using her phone, as it’s different from mine, and poorly labelled. She had been the one to confirm which buttons were for “picking up” and “hanging up.” Now, she can’t seem to remember how to hang up her own phone.

Whether or not she’ll try to call again on her own, I don’t know, but my brother and I had to leave, before the weather got worse.

As we left her place, I could see my brother was looking even more exhausted than I felt! I’m glad I could be there, as she really does behave better towards him while I am there, then when he’s there on his own.

For me, at least, once I got out of town, the weather cleared the further north I drove. My brother, however, had to go south, and I think the weather was getting worse in that direction. He should be home by now, so I should finish this off and send a message to check if he got home okay. Knowing him, he probably found errands to run in the city before going home! 😁

On a different note, I didn’t even turn my new computer on until after I was home and settled. This thing boots up so quickly, it’s amazing! Even before my computer started dying, it was take several minutes to finish booting up. Now, it’s almost no time at all!

I’ve started to set up a few things, but I suspect it’s going to take quite a long time. Yesterday, for example, I installed my movie making software. I found the original .exe in my downloads on the back up external hard drive, but the initial set up assumes a free trial. I also had two versions, but couldn’t tell which one was the upgrade. You’d think it would be the one with the more recent download date, but nope. Turned out to be the other one. Once I finally got the right on installed, it still wasn’t what it should have been. I bought the software, rather than getting the subscription, and it kept wanting me to set up a subscription. After some fussing about, I spotted the “activate” button, logged onto the website and found the activation key. It’s now up and running.

I just no longer have any photos or my old project files. Most, I can get on the new back up external hard drive, so that will take more time to get all set up before I even try to make any new videos.

But not today. Today is supposed to be my day of rest!

I do have one more short post to write after this, though, and I’m quite excited about it! Especially giving the snowy weather we’ve been having lately. 

The Re-Farmer