our vandal

Well now…

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… I am extra glad I had to go to my mother’s place today!

The trip itself was not particularly pleasant. We had that super warm day when everything melted, then we got snow on top of that. Yesterday, the southwestern part of our province was hit with a snow storm, but we were fortunate. I saw photos and video people shared on FB, and the one that blew me away was the sand truck – upside down in a ditch!

We got snow, but no storm. When I headed out, the roads were not plowed yet, though I could see the plow trucks were out. While our temperatures were below freezing, between the traffic and the darker surface, the highways were melting in patches, making things even more potentially dangerous. I took it slow, and was pleased to see, most of the other traffic was taking it slow, too! We’ve got good tires and a good truck, but there’s no weight in the back, so it doesn’t take much before I can feel it wanting to fishtail.

I left quite early and still had time when I got to my mother’s town. I decided to fill the gas tank and pick up some fried chicken for my mother and myself for lunch. I remembered that today is Monday, so she would have her Meals on Wheels delivery, so I asked to have the food split between two boxes, so she could have hers later in the day.

As I was paying for everything, one of the regular staff who was having her own lunch break started chatting, asking if I was having lunch with my mother today. I told her, sort of, and mentioned she would be having her Meals on Wheels, so I got hers separate for later. That’s when a customer sitting at another table (this gas station has several tables for people to sit down and have their coffee or chicken dinners) said that she would not be getting her Meals on Wheels today – all deliveries were cancelled today! With the road conditions, I’m not surprised.

So I was extra glad I’d decided to pick up food while getting gas!

I still got to my mother’s early, which was still good. I was able to get some stuff done for her before we settled down to eat. She still has her cold, and was feeling rather sorry for herself. She has developed a terrible habit, though, of making herself gasp and pant. She says it makes her stomach feel better. ??? It’s rather alarming to hear, and then she just stops and starts breathing normally.

As I was boiling water for tea, I asked her which tea she wanted and she suggested the immunity boosting teas my sister got for her, that she’s been drinking since she has a cold.

There were two different kinds, and they were both citrus based.

*sigh*

So my mother is supposed to avoid citrus, etc., but my sister keeps getting her this stuff!

At least the Cup-o-soup went over well, but I’m pretty sure those have onion in them, which is also on the avoid list.

While puttering in her kitchen, I remembered to look at her cupboard doors and saw that the printout of foods that she needed to avoid, and which were still good, for her acid reflux, was gone. There was just a bit of torn tape left where it was.

*sigh*

After we ate, we talked about her upcoming appointment and what to tell the doctor. She brought up again, how she figured she should just stop taking the pills, because they aren’t doing anything. She says there has been no change. I went through again that he’d explained: he was going to start her on a low dose first, and if that didn’t help in 3 months, he would increase the dose for another three months. Or, he might try prescribing a different medication, but that is less likely.

I asked her if she were following the other instructions he’s given her, and if she still had the information printout with all that on it.

No, she wasn’t doing the other stuff, and she didn’t know where the printouts were anymore.

*sigh*

She started complaining again about how she’s taking soooo many pills, and she’s tired of taking soooo many pills.

She’s not taking that many pills and, right now, one of them is basically a special multi-vitamin for her eye with dry macular degeneration, to keep it from getting worse.

I reminded her of just how fortunate she really is. I told her how many pills my husband takes, plus two injections, and even he isn’t taking all that much compared to some people. The thing is, the pills are doing their job, so she’s not feeling the things they are there for, so she thinks they are not needed. She’s not understanding that if she stops taking them, all these things they are protecting her from would start making her sick. I can’t imagine how terrible she would be feeling, for example, if she were NOT on the acid reflux pill, when just having a bit of citrus makes her think she’s dying (until she takes some Pepto).

Her phone appointment was at 2pm. When it was 10 after, she started saying, maybe they forgot about her. Another five minutes, and she was saying, maybe we should call them. I told her, if we were at the appointment in person, we’d just be sitting in a waiting room right now.

Still, I did find the number and tried calling the clinic. The automated system eventually got me to a message saying they were so busy, they weren’t taking any more messages, but to leave a message (???) and they would get back to the caller in 48-72 hours.

!!!!!

So I hung up, since there really wasn’t much point in leaving a message, when it was still possible they’d be calling.

My mother, however, was getting really tired by then and falling asleep in her chair. I finally told her, go ahead and lie down. I would stay close to the phone. Just give me time to go to the bathroom first, she could like down and leave the phone to me.

I had just gone into the bathroom and was closing the door when I heard a quiet knock.

Who would be knocking on my mother’s door at this time?

So I started opening the door again to answer the door for her, but it was already being opened.

There was our vandal, saying something about how my mother must be on the phone, walking right into her apartment! The bathroom door opens out and partially blocks the entryway, so when I was basically right in front of him when our vandal saw me and stopped dead in his tracks.

He quickly said he had to go. There was a container in his hand he quickly dropped on her dining table, and practically ran out the door.

Behind him, I could see a neighbour he’d brought along. I was very happy to see our neighbour. This is someone else I grew up with and consider family. He’s a very good man, and has been a sort of go-between for us, trying to get our vandal to see some sort of sense.

When he saw me, from the hallway, he looked like he was fighting back laughter.

Our vandal had left so fast, he’d left the door to close on its own behind him. I was able to grab the door and say high to our neighbour as he was leaving, but our vandal had gone down the hall so fast, I couldn’t see him anymore.

When I turned back, there was my mother, laughing.

I am so glad I was there! While my neighbour would have made sure our vandal treated my mother well, having him show up, on top of my mother being sick with a cold, would not have been pleasant for her at all.

I wasn’t really surprised to see him. I’d already called my mother to warn her he might suddenly show up, since I’ve been seeing him stalking our driveway again. I just expected him to show up earlier than today!

As for the container he left, it looked like it had pea soup in it, or something like that. My mother told me, she didn’t want it. She already had two other containers in her freezer from his, she doesn’t want. She said, with the way he talks and the things he says, it makes the food taste bad.

I totally get it.

I ended up popping it into the freezer, though, to be dealt with later.

After that little adventure, my mother was able to lie down and I settled into her armchair, in her view, with the phone.

Well, wouldn’t you know, as soon as she lay down, suddenly my mother was wide awake.

Our vandal showing up might have had a bit to do with that.

After a while, she gave up and got up.

By then, it was almost 3, and the doctor still hadn’t phoned. I didn’t want to stay much longer, as it would be getting dark soon. So I called the clinic number back and this time, left a message.

The drive back was both better and worse. Better, because the roads had been cleared by then. Worse, because I was not driving right into the wind and getting buffeted a lot more. Again, most vehicles were also taking it slow, which was much appreciated.

I got home in time for the evening feeding for the outside cats. I quickly did that, topped up their water, and played with Kohl in the isolation shelter for a bit.

Patience was not very patient just then! He was a hungry boy. 😊

Then I grabbed something to clear windows with and went to my brother’s truck to clear the windows of snow, so his solar trickle charger could get some light. I’ve since learned that another truck that’s parked here also has a trickle charger, so I’ll have to remember to clear that vehicle’s windshield, too, the next time I’m out there.

All in all, I’d say it was a good day, even though the telephone doctor’s appointment never happened. It meant I was there when our vandal showed up, and that made it worthwhile it all on its own!

The Re-Farmer

A sudden outing, and wow. Just… wow

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With today being an inside day, I did finally start working on editing the garden tour video I have planned.

Then I got a message from my SIL.

My brother was soon to be on his way to our mother’s, to put her AC away for the winter – something he hasn’t had the time to do for weeks. Did I want to be there?

Of course!

Being able to see my brother is always a joy.

However, my presence would also help prevent some of the nasties my mother likes to throw at him when no one else is around.

By the time I headed out, the predicted rain had hit us, and it was pouring! The driveway was already full of water. It was also full dark by then, so the drive to my mother’s town was NOT done at highway speeds!

I left our place not that long after he left his, and he still got there before I did! I didn’t realize that until he phoned me, asking if I could pick up some milk for our mother. The grocery store was closed by then, because it’s Sunday, so I made a dash to a gas station to get some milk for her. By the time I got inside, he was almost finished, so there wasn’t much left for me to help with.

Then we sat for a visit and a chat.

A somewhat serious chat.

It turned out our vandal showed up to visit my mother recently. My mother didn’t remember the exact day, but it was a day when her Meals on Wheels arrived, so we know it was at least on a Monday, Wednesday or Friday.

She was all impressed that he’d brought some chicken drumsticks for lunch, though he ate them himself because she had her meal delivered while he was there.

Her big surprise was when the social worker that volunteers to deliver this not only knew our vandal, but greeted him with a big hug.

There were a few other things she crowed over with his visit, which really bothered my brother and I. It doesn’t seem to matter how badly our vandal acts; all he has to do is bring some chicken or go to a town meeting she approved of, and she can’t say enough good about him.

The conversation did remind my brother that he had another “carrier message” voicemail notification from his phone. He’d deliberately not listened to it because the only calls like that have been from our vandal, even though his number is blocked, and my brother just didn’t need that stress in the middle of everything they’ve been doing with the move.

So he brought up the message, and all three of us listened to it.

Yes, it was from our vandal.

Wow.

It was absolutely vile.

Some of the things he was saying about me and my daughters were just disgusting, mostly centered on our weight, the fact that we don’t “work” (meaning, not having outside jobs he considers real jobs), and involved a lot of swearing.

There were a number of other things that showed he was just making things up in his own head, some of which left us scratching ours, trying to figure out how he came to those conclusions.

He somehow found out about my saying something on Facebook – my personal page – about our hot water tank and went on a bizarre tangent about that. Apparently, if we had outside jobs, the tank would… not break? Magically fix itself? I have no idea.

He has obviously noticed that there are a lot of commotion and things showing up here at the farm. He made a comment about it, lamenting that he can’t come over to see, because he would instantly end up in prison.

That’s not how things work, but if it keeps him away, I’m good with him believing that.

He has no idea what’s going on, and it seems to be driving him bonkers.

As horrible as the things he was saying was, my mother needed to hear it. The version of him that shows up at her place lately is not the real him. These phone messages are the real him. He is absolutely obsessed with his hatred of me and my daughters (he seems to forget my husband exists). He used to direct this hate at my brother, and still tries to say that our late father wanted this property to be bequeathed to our vandal, not my brother. Meanwhile, we have a telephone message my father left on my brother’s answering machine, shortly before he died, saying he wanted it to go to my brother.

Thankfully, ownership has already been transferred to my brother, so it is safe. There is nothing about it in my mother’s will for our vandal to try and contest.

This was quite a wake up for my mother, to hear all this. This message would have been left shortly before or after he had visited my mother in person. She should not be allowing him in. Perhaps after hearing this, she may stop. Unlikely, but it’s one more reason it would be better for my mother to be in a long term care facility, as she wants. Our vandal doesn’t have to know where she is, and if he does find out, he can be on file as not allowed to see her.

It also got us to talking about what he seems to be trying to do. He somehow seems to think my mother can still give him the farm, as if she could somehow take ownership back from my brother. Our vandal has his own acreage, and oodles of equipment and out building and vehicles… he is quite well set up. He doesn’t need this place, nor anything on it.

It’s not about him wanting it for himself so much as to make sure I don’t have it – even though it’s my brother that owns it. He is a shining example of what it means to “covet” something. To covet is not just to want something that someone else has, but to take what someone else has from them.

So… Marxism on an individual scale. 😄

Even my mother was able to understand this.

All in all, it did put a downer on the visit but, considering how my mother responded to our vandal showing up at her place, it was really important that she hear it, and that we could talk about it with her.

We couldn’t stay too much longer, though. My brother no longer takes vacation days on Mondays, now that the move is done and the new owners have taken possession of the property they sold, so he had to get back home. Their new place is slightly closer, but it’s still at least an hour’s drive for him. Plus, there was a break in the rain that wasn’t going to last long, so I wanted to get home before it hit again, too.

I will be back to help my mother with her grocery shopping and errands soon, but she needs this far less often, now that she’s got the Meals on Wheels deliveries.

The weather predictions for the next while look pretty mild, so hopefully I’ll get more done outside. Tomorrow, however, I’m hoping to get the truck loaded up with the bags of aluminum again, and this time actually make it to the scrap yard! The rain is supposed to continue until about 10am tomorrow, but I’ve got a tarp over the sorted bags, so that should make loading the truck less unpleasant!

We shall see what the day brings.

Meanwhile, time to get back to editing some video…

The Re-Farmer

What a great day, with some excellent updates

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I am really happy with how things have turned out today!

First, we have the cat isolation shelter.

It took all day, but it is now useable! It has been moved close to the house, and the cats love it. Here is a short video I took to post on Instagram.

I was able to make the sliding doors, but one of them turned out to be a real pain. The wood lath covering the insulation on the other side, were not all the same widths, with some sticking out further than others. There was no way the panel could slide over it. So I made a stopper, instead, and it can only slide the other way. We’ll just have to be careful not to slide it out so far that it’ll fall out.

The other side was downright easy, after that!

Once those were in, I got my daughter to hold the front window in place while I drilled some pilot holes and put screws into the corners. Once that was done, she could let it go, and we added more screws to secure it.

Then, finally, we could put the roof pieces on.

Which turned out to not be as long as the boards they were being attached to. We have excess wood sticking out, front and back The back is the “handle” to lift the roof, anyhow, so I’m not too concerned about that, though at some point we’ll want to replace the strip of wood lath across the back with something sturdier. As for the pieces sticking out the front, I ended up using them to help steer as we moved it. We might cut them flush with the roof later, though.

I had to abandon my daughter part way through moving it, as my brother arrived with another load to drop off. After greeting him and he went to unload, I had a chance to take a short video of the isolation shelter. My daughter had left it in an open spot for me to do that. Eventually, I will put together a video of the entire process, which dragged on for so much longer than expected. After that, I moved the shelter closer to the house.

The door/ramp doesn’t have a latch, though – the ones I had were not large enough – so it kept dropping open, even though we’d taped it shut. The down side of using salvaged materials. One of the boards of the ramp cracked after hitting the ground. I had to add a couple more screws to fix it. Which was fine, but it required closing the door to do it.

The kitten that was inside the shelter was not happy about that! 😄

The last thing that really needs to be done is to find a latch for the door/ramp. We also need to get more paint, but that’s mostly cosmetic.

Once we work out exactly where it will stay for the winter, we’ll hang the clamp lamp with the heat bulb under the roof and get that ready for plugging in for the winter, preferably with a timer. I’d also like to attach handles to make it easier to move. The handles I had that I thought we could use are not strong enough.

After moving the isolation shelter closer to the other cat shelters, I grabbed a couple of winter squash as a gift for my brother, and went to join him while he worked. While we were there, we started hearing a noise.

A noise he identified as splashing water on metal.

From the septic expeller.

I couldn’t believe that’s what we were hearing, so we went to take a look. Sure enough, there was water coming out of the pipe!

It was not coming out as well as it should have been; it was almost dribbling down the outer pipe, and the sheet of metal that’s there to prevent erosion at the base was being partially missed. The pipe itself is leaning a bit back and to one side, instead of being straight up, which I’m sure isn’t helping, either.

I’m amazed that it was working at all. I was just there earlier today, taking photos, and saw no sign that water was being ejected from that pipe.

Oh! I completely forgot to mention!

With the one septic company ghosting us, I called the other and left a message this morning. The owner called me back less than half an hour later. They will be able to do the job for us. They are really busy and he couldn’t tell me when they can come out to fix the leak – it might be 3 or 4 weeks – but he told me that they could do the work even if the ground were frozen.

So that was definitely good news!

He asked me for photos of the expeller. While I was there, I made a point of looking to see if there was any sign that greywater has been flowing over the sheet of metal. That fact that there is some water flowing out the pipe, and not all just seeping into the ground, is actually a bit of a weight off my shoulders, making the timing of getting the repair done is not quite as urgent.

So that was more good news.

My brother had been able to come out sooner than he expected. It was still light out when he was done unloading, so he and I did a walkabout, including out to the car graveyard and the old farm equipment. I now know which things he wants to keep, and what can go to the scrap dealer – and it’s added a lot more to what the salvage company can come out for!

Oh, it’s going to be good to clear out this stuff.

My brother then came in to take a look at the bathroom, and the rot on the walls.

In the end, he said it’s not actually that bad. He said he wouldn’t bother taking it out at all, which would require taking the tub out. He suggested we just fix the taps from the other side, then cover it all with the new tub surround we already have.

Then we went around to the other side of the wall to talk about cutting an access panel. He’s pretty sure there is more aspenite under the paneling. We could take off the entire panel, but that would require removing the molding that’s over it, too. He suggested drilling through from the bathroom side to mark where to cut. Which is what I had been thinking, but only after cutting away the rotted aspenite around the taps. We have to figure out where the joists are; they should be 16″ apart, but the bathroom was installed while he was away in college, so he never saw how things were done.

So that is more good news. We don’t have to remove the tub and cut more of the walls away. He recommended we treat the aspenite with bleach, but we have some anti-mold product specifically for bathrooms we can use.

We can now put together a plan of action to get things fixed so we can use our tub and shower again!

Then my brother got his meter and we went to check the hot water tank – after shutting off the breaker! He tested the elements, and it turns out that it is the top element that is burnt out. The bottom one is working fine.

So we’ll be looking into getting a replacement for the top element.

I told him about the powered anode rod we are getting. Looking at the outlet near the hot water tank, I mentioned my thought of unplugging the extension cord that goes into my husband’s closet, then moving the plug for the well pump up, so we have room to plug in the new rod.

He advised against it.

As he put it, we’re already on borrowed time with that well pump, and he wouldn’t touch anything if it can be avoided.

We looked at the other outlet, where the sump pump is plugged in. He suggested running an extension cord from there, instead.

I will trust his advice and do that.

So we’re still without use of the tub and shower, and have only tepid water, but we now have a better idea of what to do next.

Which will be to get at the plumbing for the faucet set from the bedroom side and get that working, first. Then, even if it takes longer to get to the point we can install the tub surround, we can temporarily put plastic over where it’s cut open, so we can use the tub and not have to keep sponge bathing!

So… I rate that as more good news.

There was only one hiccup in the day that is more strange than anything else.

While my brother was unloading his truck, he got a voice mail notification on his cell phone – but his phone never rang. He joked that it was our vandal, because that’s who it was the last time this happened.

Well, after he left our place, my brother checked the voice mail, and it really was from our vandal!

I’ll get a copy of the message later, but it was much the same as last time. He’s wondering why my brother is “catering” to me – and we have no idea what he’s talking about. He also said that his doctor told him that the reason he got cancer is because of us, and that we are evil, evil, evil! He’s dying of cancer, and it’s our fault.

???

I’d say, he was drinking behind his wife’s back again.

At least he didn’t threaten us with “retribution” so extreme, even the Pope would be reading about it in a magazine, this time.

We are perplexed as to what triggered the call. Particularly since my brother was here when the voice mail was left. My brother thinks our vandal has been watching us, and saw that my brother had arrived, but I don’t see how.

Whatever the reason, my brother has our vandal’s number blocked, so he shouldn’t have been able to leave any voice mail message at all. The phone company is going to be getting a call about it, that’s for sure!

One thing else is for sure. When the scrap metal company comes to clean things up, we will have to watch out for our vandal, because he is going to go ballistic. He believes all this stuff rightfully belongs to him – but then, he thinks the entire property rightfully belongs to him.

Well, we’ll deal with that when the time comes. I’ll just be glad to get all this stuff cleaned out – and I’m sure the renter will be glad to see it gone, too, since his cows graze around almost all of it!

Oh, and I told my brother about the guy that wants to buy a couple of cars for parts, and how he will need to bring in special equipment to be able to get them out. I also told my brother that I’d arranged for him to use part of the money for the cars to pay back the guy that put a down payment on the old Farm Hand tractor, since I could see my brother wasn’t happy with the sale. My brother was happy to hear this.

So good news for him, too!

It’s just been a good day, overall, I’d say!

The Re-Farmer

Exhausting change of plans

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My goodness, what a day!

What??? It’s not even 3pm yet???

Okay, let’s back up a bit!

First, the good news.

While doing my rounds this morning, I saw Driver limping around – and he’s starting to put that front foot down and putting weight on it. Not much, and only briefly, but that’s a good sign.

He went onto the cat house roof for breakfast, and while he wouldn’t let me look too closely, I was able to see this.

It looks like whatever injury he has involves a toe, but that’s all I can see. In fact, I can see more in this cropped picture than I could in person.

Yesterday, I saw Judgement hanging out in the sunroom through the evening, which I was happy with. He seemed fine and content to sit in the bottom of the shelf to look out the window. This morning, however, I saw no sign of him – but I got a headcount of “only” 29, so quite a few cats weren’t around at the time. Shop Towel was also nowhere to be seen.

They very much like their new beds, though! Checking through the window last night, there was a mass of cats curled up among the beds and blankets under the platform. The one smaller bed went on top of the platform, next to the self warming mat. Shop Towel was on that one. He basically covered the whole thing, he’s so big!

After my rounds were done, I was starting breakfast when the phone rang. It was my brother, letting me know he was going to our mother’s place today, to replace the peep hole in her door and get a visit in. He was wondering if I could join him.

Of course, I said yes! 

I had intended to go into town this afternoon to pick something up that my husband asked for, but I could do that at my mother’s town, too. So I left quite early to take care of that first. The grocery store turned out to open a lot later than I thought, so I ran my other errands first and was waiting when I got another call from my brother. He’d called our mother ahead (hands free, of course) to let her know he would be coming by. After giving him grief about how he should be in church with her, she asked him to pick up a couple of things at the grocery store. 😁 Knowing that’s where I needed to go myself, he let me know what she needed, so I picked her stuff up, too. By the time my brother arrived and met up with me, our mother would have already left for church, so we headed straight to her place; my brother and I are the only ones that have been entrusted with spare keys to her place, for times like this – and for emergency wellness checks, if that every becomes an issue.

Once we were settled inside, he very quickly popped out the damaged peep hole.

Check this out.

The last time we were there, and my brother discovered the damage, he’d tried scraping off the stuff, unsuccessfully. We were pretty sure it looked like Krazy Glue. Now that it’s off, it quite clearly is some sort of instant glue.

Kinda like the glue that was used on our gate locks a few times.

We have no real idea of how long it has been like this, since my mother never bothers to look through it.

The new one is very pretty, and has a little cover on the inside so no one can look in from the outside. It turned out to be ever so slightly bigger than the hole, but my brother was able to enlarge it with a pocket knife. He was kicking himself for not thinking to bring his drill. Frankly, I think the pocket knife did the job just fine. You can’t even tell the hole was enlarged, the different is so slight.

Of course, once it was in, we tested it out, with one of us going into the hall while the other looked through. My brother thought it wasn’t focusing right, but when I started from against the wall across from her door and walked forward, he could see me perfectly fine once I was at knocking distance. The peep hole has a 120° view, so that’s good, too.

After that, we had time to check my mother’s CID and messages, and clear some of them out for her (she’s never been able to figure out her answering machine!), leaving a couple of mystery messages for now. One, we’ve determined was a wrong number. The other, the person used my mother’s name, and left her own name – both of which were very hard to hear, with the strong Polish accent, but we were able to make it out. The message was for my mother to call her back, but no number was left. Whoever it was assumed my mother already had it.

We weren’t able to match the CID numbers with the messages, though. Her answering machine doesn’t leave the same date and time information on them. 

Then I noticed something new. A picture. That, in itself, is not odd; my mother has photos, prints, pictures from newspaper articles, etc. all over the place. It wasn’t until we had the table set up for lunch, with me in the extra chair that’s normally never at the table, due to lack of space, that I was facing the picture and getting a real look at it.

It was a picture of my mother, with our vandal and his wife, sitting at a table in a local restaurant.

Which made the location of the picture downright creepy. She set it up on the little mirrored altar that my brother had repaired the light on for her not long ago.

There was nothing to tell us when she had gone out to dinner with them, but it had to have been fairly recently.

After a while, with lunch set up and tea ready, my brother was starting to wonder where Mom was, as she normally would have been home by then. Church is right across the street, so it’s not far for her to go. So he went out to look through the lobby window – and found Mom! She had sat herself down in front of the window to watch people as they left church, completely forgetting that my brother had told her he was coming over!

She was very happy to come in and have everything ready and waiting for her. Of course, that didn’t stop her from finding something to complain about, but we were able to distract her and settle in. My SIL had prepared lunch for us, including a Greek salad that was in a larger Feta container that sealed nicely and could be left behind. My mother, in the most convoluted way possible, eventually managed to tell my brother that he could take the container home, because it was such a nice container, etc. Once we were able to decipher what she was saying (I think she thought it was a yogurt container, so we were quite confused when she started talking about the yogurt container, when she turned out to actually be talking about the salad inside), my brother tried to explain that the container was used specifically so that it could be left behind. There was more than enough for her to have with another meal or two, and then the container could be put in recycling. Oh, no! It was far too good of a container to throw away…

…

After a while, we got to explaining to her about the peep hole being replaced, and my brother showed her the old one, with the glue clearly visible on it. None of the other doors had damage to their peep holes (my brother checked), only hers, and there’s only one person we know who goes around vandalizing things with Krazy Glue.

She then made a big deal about how we were fussing so much about the peep hole that she doesn’t use. We were just explaining to her what was done and showing her what we found. To her, that was “fussing” about it. Meanwhile, she was the one getting all worked up about it.

It did give us an opening to ask about the picture.

It took time to piece together her explanation, as she kept jumping all over the place, and we could see she was trying to protect our vandal. It turns out he and his wife had shown up at her place on his birthday, which was at the beginning of the month. This would have been before I’d come over to her place most recently, to help her with groceries. She’d never mentioned it to me. 

She then told us that he said he’d been trying to phone her first, but couldn’t get through – so she told him that my brother had set up her phone to block scam calls, and after listening to the last message our vandal had left with her, his number was blocked, too. So he now knows all about it, she told us.

*sigh*

Around that point, I told her, we’re working so hard to try and protect her from him, but she keeps undoing what we’ve done!

From there, she tried to lecture us. What’s between us and him has nothing to do with her! I reminded her, it has everything to do with her, and 10 years of abusive messages he’s been leaving with her, among other things. Then it had to be clarified that it was abuse with words, because yes, when he tells her that she’s not going to heaven because she won’t give him the property that we’re on, that now belongs to my brother (somehow, he seems to think she can still give it to him, even as he ranted in his answering machine messages about how she’s apparently given the property to me!). 

Then she started the whole “we need to forgive each other” and “none of us are perfect”, as if we were the ones going out of our way to cause problems! At one point, she went on about how she prays every night that we will reconcile with him, and that we shouldn’t hate him. I told her, we don’t hate him! He hates us! Especially me, at this point. She tries to say that he is somehow harmless, though she is still really upset about what he did to the gate.

…

*sigh*

Then she started going on about how he’s the only one still keeping in touch with my late brother’s (now adult) children. I told her, I did try to reach out to them. They didn’t respond. Our vandal has been lying to them and driving them away from us. Even in one of his answering machine messages, he complained about how they weren’t allowed on the farm. He’s the only one that’s not allowed here anymore. We’ve never said my brother’s children weren’t allowed here! 

She just doesn’t get it, and keeps making excuses for him. 

So we finally got past that conversation, but it did give my brother the segue to get my mother to look out the new peep hole. She got upset and tried refusing to get up, because we were making such a big deal out of is, but my brother got her up and to the door. Then he stepped outside into the hall, so she could see him through the peep hole.

Oh, I just had to laugh!

I’m on the short side of things, but even I need to bend down a bit to look through the peep hole.

The peep hole is higher than her head. 

She tried going onto tip toes, but all she could see was the ceiling, because she was still having to look up to see anything at all!

Well, no matter. The damaged peep hole has been replaced.

My brother did bring up about possible getting one that will record when someone’s at the door, and he and I can later check to see who’s been leaving stuff at her door. She said she knows who’s leaving stuff, and to be sure, with some things, she does. The social workers regularly leave little care packages for all the people in her building. That stuff, however, gets left at everyone’s doors. She has stuff being left at only her door. While we can be almost certain that it’s our vandal, we have no proof. Plus, she’s found notes taped to her door that were clearly not written by him, or his wife, telling her to give the farm to our vandal. We’ve never been able to figure out who did that.

We didn’t push, though. That sort of thing is more than she can grasp, and she was still upset that my brother fixed the peep hole.

The last challenge was just before we had to leave, as we suddenly realized it was starting to snow hard, and my brother had a long drive home on open highways. My mother remembered that she had a phone number for a relative in Poland she wanted to call, but was having troubles. As my brother asked her questions and tried the number himself – it didn’t work – my mother told him that she’s been told she would never be able to make a call to Poland on the cordless phone. Only on the corded phone.

???

My brother told her that was not at all true and asked who told her that. All I could figure out was that it was someone in her building, but whether it was someone who lived there, a visitor, or one of the social workers from the senior’s centre, I could never get the straight of it.

After a quick search, my brother found the problem. The number may have been written correctly for someone in Poland, but not for someone trying to call from another country! 

The other problem was that my mother had written the information out on a scrap piece of paper. As my brother tried to write down the corrected information, she started flipping out about it having to be written clearly – which there was no room for! – while she went digging for the original letter from among her papers. Once she got that out, my brother worked on deciphering the hand written numbers – some numbers are written differently in Polish than is typically written in English – for both a land line and cell phone, I was able to get her to find an actual note pad, where I could write out what she needed without anything else on there to confuse things. 

My brother then helped her call the land line, which worked by got a busy signal. The cell phone number kept ringing until it stopped, with no voice mail. The land line was tried a couple more time, and it finally started ringing, but no one answers – that that number didn’t have voice mail or an answering machine, either.

The concerning thing was that my brother had to walk my mother through pushing the button to hand up the cordless phone. A phone she’s had for at least 10 years. I’ve had to try and find the right buttons myself when using her phone, as it’s different from mine, and poorly labelled. She had been the one to confirm which buttons were for “picking up” and “hanging up.” Now, she can’t seem to remember how to hang up her own phone.

Whether or not she’ll try to call again on her own, I don’t know, but my brother and I had to leave, before the weather got worse.

As we left her place, I could see my brother was looking even more exhausted than I felt! I’m glad I could be there, as she really does behave better towards him while I am there, then when he’s there on his own.

For me, at least, once I got out of town, the weather cleared the further north I drove. My brother, however, had to go south, and I think the weather was getting worse in that direction. He should be home by now, so I should finish this off and send a message to check if he got home okay. Knowing him, he probably found errands to run in the city before going home! 😁

On a different note, I didn’t even turn my new computer on until after I was home and settled. This thing boots up so quickly, it’s amazing! Even before my computer started dying, it was take several minutes to finish booting up. Now, it’s almost no time at all!

I’ve started to set up a few things, but I suspect it’s going to take quite a long time. Yesterday, for example, I installed my movie making software. I found the original .exe in my downloads on the back up external hard drive, but the initial set up assumes a free trial. I also had two versions, but couldn’t tell which one was the upgrade. You’d think it would be the one with the more recent download date, but nope. Turned out to be the other one. Once I finally got the right on installed, it still wasn’t what it should have been. I bought the software, rather than getting the subscription, and it kept wanting me to set up a subscription. After some fussing about, I spotted the “activate” button, logged onto the website and found the activation key. It’s now up and running.

I just no longer have any photos or my old project files. Most, I can get on the new back up external hard drive, so that will take more time to get all set up before I even try to make any new videos.

But not today. Today is supposed to be my day of rest!

I do have one more short post to write after this, though, and I’m quite excited about it! Especially giving the snowy weather we’ve been having lately. 

The Re-Farmer

Not the day I planned

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First, the cuteness!

Tissue just crawled over right on top of grandma. Poor thing is in heat right now. Considering what happened when we tried to get her fixed before, that’s going to be a challenge!

In other things…

With our land line down, I messaged my sister, yesterday evening, to let her know. I’d managed to leave messages on my mother’s answering machine about it. It took two tries, as my call got dropped mid sentence, even though I was using wifi calling. I told my mother that the best way to reach me was likely by calling my sister, who could then send me a message. So, of course, I had to let my sister know this!

It turned out my sister had talked to my mother earlier, and she told my sister I was coming over today, to help her either groceries.

Last I spoke to my mother, she refused to settle on a day, and just settled on “after New Year”. I was supposed to do a follow up call which, obviously, was going to be a bit trickier.

After finding this put from my sister, I tried calling my mother again. She had a hard time hearing me, but at least the call wasn’t dropped. We worked out arrangements for me to come over, and when I asked, she suggested using her car, in case she was up to going out.

We haven’t used her car pretty much since getting the truck. Just once, maybe, shortly after we brought it home. So, this morning, while doing my rounds, I got her car out of the garage and checked her tires. The two on the driver’s side were a bit low. I just used the hand pump to top them up.

I had some things to do, since I was going to be out anyhow, so I left quite early.

Well.

I tried to leave.

I drove through the gate and stopped to close it behind me, when I heard a loud bang from the back. My mother’s car has always been noisy in the back, but not like this! I tried to look to see a cause, but there was nothing visible.

So I locked and kept going. I got as far as the stop sign, maybe 300 ft away. When a started moving after stopping at the sign, there was a loud, repetitive knocking from the back.

I turned around and came home!

I font know what the noise is, and have had no time to look it up, yet.

I took our truck.

Once in my mother’s town, I made a stop at the grocery store. Before going in, I took advantage of having a strong signal and called the computer repair place, to give them my cell number.

My timing was good. The tech guy was working on my computer when I called. After giving the number – with a warning that it may or may not work, if I was at home – he gave me the good news so far. Be was able to secure and protect my data. With that done, he was about to move on to starting the machine and seeing what he could find out.

I really hope it can be fixed. Blogging with my phone really sucks. Plus, there are things I do that I won’t even try on my phone!

I also updated my brother about what was going on with my mother’s car.

After going into the grocery store for our own few items, I called my mother to let her know about the vehicle situation, and ask what she wanted me to pick up for lunch. After going on about how fried food makes her sick, she then asked me to pick up potato wedges for her.

Which are fried, of course. 😆

So that was a stop at the gas station. While there, I also got some fried pierogi, plus a couple of pieces of chicken. Just in case.

When I got there, she happily had a bit of everything, including the chicken! 😆

As we were talking and eating, she showed me a Christmas card she waxed poetic on, about how beautiful it was. By which she means, it was a religious themed card, rather than a secular one.

It was from our vandal.

Out of curiosity, I looked inside.

Wow. He can’t even give her a Christmas card without going weird. The only good thing I could say is, his attempts to guilt and manipulate her went right over her head. I did get a picture of it.

Since my mother couldn’t come with me, we went over her list and I did her shopping for her, though I made sure to message my sister about the car, and letting her know that, until we can figure put what ti do about my mother’s car, before I forgot.

This trip, I paid for her shopping using my card, then gave her the receipt, as she requested. While she was getting cash to pay me back, her phone rang, do I answered it for her. When I do that, I answer like a receptionist, identifying myself in the process.

There was silence, then a hang up.

I checked caller ID.

It was our vandal.

Once we identified the number, we got a chuckle over him hanging up on me, then kept talking.

The phone rang again.

This time, I checked the number, first.

It was our vandal again.

My mother told me to answer it, like I did before.

So I did.

Once again, there was silence, then a hang up.

We got another laugh out of it, but then my mother told me something she didn’t mention before.

My vandal hand delivered that Christmas card, on Christmas day.

Then she told me how they had a lovely tea together. With his wife.

Oh, he would have been on his best behavior, with his wife there! She would not know about his abusive calls. He does those while she is at work.

I do wish my mother had let us know, though!

With all this, before I said my goodbyes, I decided to check her answering machine. At the very least, there would have been my two calls to clear, which she doesn’t know how to do.

Sure enough, there was a message from our vandal – left near the beginning of December! We keep asking her yo let us know about these, but she doesn’t!

I took a video of the message while it was playing, so the date would be recorded, then cleared her machine. The message was his usual ranting. First, demanding to know if he’s being recorded, and if he was, that’s entrapment.

Yes. Seriously. He’s leaving a message on an answering machine, and asking if he’s being recorded.

Then he launched into his usual accusations of how I font work, but spend all my time trying to put him in jail. The only new thing is that he’s now using my late brother’s children to manipulate her. Children that are estranged from her, largely because of him.

Well, at least he’s not telling her my late father and brother are looking down from heaven at her, angry that she didn’t give him the farm, and that she won’t go to heaven because of that.

Which reminds me.

My mother has been talking about giving her car to my nephew. Of course, it’s not from the goodness of her heart. It’s her usual bribery attempt: pay attention yo me, and I’ll give you things. But she only does that with the people who treat her the worst. We learned our vandal managed to swindle many thousands of dollars out of both my parents, over the years that way.

She told our vandal about her thought of giving the car to my nephew, so he now uses that in his rants against me.

With the car now suddenly making that noise, she said maybe it’s time to give the car to my nephew. I told her, that’s hardly a gift! Apparently, he works in a garage, though.

My name may be on the ownership papers, as that was the only way fir me to be able to keep it licensed and insured for her use, but it’s her car and she can do what she wants with it. Talking to my family about it later, we all agree on the salient points. If she wants to give it to him, and he has the skills and resources to fix it, that free uo funds in our budget. Finds we can use to pay the truck down faster. It also takes away a headache for us. That car has been no end of expensive trouble.

However, it would also mean, i can no longer drive her anywhere. She simply cannot get in and out of our truck safely. My sister works part time, so she could use her car to drive my mother around, but when it comes to things like doctors appointments, my mother doesn’t want that. My brother is not an option, as he would have to book time off work, and he lives the furthest away.

Ideally, we would replace her car, but we can’t afford two car payments, and she certainly would not be willing to buy another car herself.

A conundrum.

Ah, well. We’ll figure it out.

Meanwhile, before I left my mother, I made sure to tell her to check the phone if it rings again, and if it’s our vandal, let it go to machine. With me answering her phone earlier, he would absolutely lose it on her. His wife, after all, would be at work, so he would not be on his best behavior!

So that’s how my day ended up going. I had intended to try and clear end organize my husband’s room, so we have access to that phone jack, while he was still ambulatory. Tomorrow, I have to drive him into my mother’s town for an errand I can’t do for him, and even that short trip will wipe him out. So it may take a few more days before we can get to it. Especially if I end up driving to the city to get my computer!

Oh, wouldn’t that be nice!

This time of year, I’d rather be in hibernation mode, though! 😆

The Re-Farmer

What a lovely day!

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It is just gorgeous out there!

We were supposed to reach a high of 4C/39F today. We’re at 7C/45F right now! It turns out we hit 7C/45F yesterday, too. The snow is melting away, and it feels like spring!

Before I go on, though, we must first have the cuteness.

Snorri is just enveloped by David! The Beast (aka: Tiny) is bigger than Snorri! He’s all fur, so he looks bigger than he really is. I have to be so careful at night. He has a thing for curling up behind my neck, or on my legs. He’s so light, sometimes I can’t feel him there at all, and I have to check if he’s on or behind me before I try to roll over.

He does have a thing for necks! If he can get at one, he’ll climb right up any convenient human and settle into a neck, purring.

Snorri’s eyes are still really leaky, but he’s most definitely getting better. I hope he’ll start getting some meat on those bones soon! He certainly has a good appetite.

When feeding the outside cats this morning, I did repeated head counts. I kept getting 37, though I did get 38 once. I think I double counted someone. All the usuals that sometimes show up later were there – Rolando Moon, Brussel and Sprout, Broccoli, the orange and white, both Adam and Driver, Judgement – plus the ones that are almost always here; the printer babies – all the white and greys – the orange tabby, Hypotenose, Syndod, this year’s lone calico and tortie kittens, etc. Then there are the black cats and the grey tabbies. We have so many gorgeous cats this year!

One of the places I put a bit of kibble is in the space the smaller cats use to get under the cat house. While trying to count, I spotted a little white face, eating at the opening. I could only see a bit more than the nose and mouth, so I couldn’t say for sure if it was one of our usuals. There is one white and grey among this year’s kittens that I thought it might have been, but when I went to count the cats in the sun room, he was there. I can’t think of any other small, white faced cat that it might have been. I also spotted a couple of tabbies that I wasn’t sure of. It’s entirely possible they’re from this year’s kittens that are just bigger, and we were bound to have kittens from litters the shier mamas kept further away, finally starting to show up on their own. These ones are adult sized cats, though.

Well, no matter. They are welcome to food, water and shelter! Even Sad Face has become a permanent fixture. The next time there’s a cheap spay and neuter day, I hope we can snag him!

How bizarre that the visiting tom we kept having to chase away because he was so aggressive to the other cats, is now more approachable than all the female yard cats. !!

With so many cats to feed, it’s no surprise that we were running low on kibble, so today I made a trip to Walmart. When I got there, I found that Black Friday sales have already started. Another bizarre notion. This is a US thing, since we have our Thanksgiving on the second Monday of October. Meanwhile, Black Friday doesn’t even happen in the US until the end of this week, but Canada has Black Friday, too, and the sales have started already.

I was able to juggle the budget a bit and take advantage of some of the sales. Along with the cat food I was there to get, I was able to get things like a case of 24 cans of tomato soup at 77¢ each – easily the best deal among the things I got, since those cans now cost closer to $2 each. One of the things on my list, however, was not on sale. Butter. Even their house brand butter is almost $7 a pound! It would be cheaper to buy whipping cream and make it.

I didn’t buy whipping cream, and got only 1 pound of butter. We’ll just have to use the ghee more often, until our next big city shopping trip. The next time we’re at Costco, I’ll have to stock up on more butter than usual. Another of their big buckets of ghee wouldn’t go amiss, either!

Once I got home and we unloaded the truck, I had to feed the outside cats early. I was just going back to park it in the garage when I saw a couple of cats under it; one jumping up into the undercarriage somewhere, and another jumping up onto a front tire!

Yes, I make it a practise to bang on the truck before starting it.

The sound of kibble was enough to get them away from the truck, though.

In other things…

I called my mother last night, and it was like talking to a completely different person. She went from yelling and raging at me the day before, to cheerful and pleasant. I asked how she was doing, and she went into her usual complaints about her breathing; this time, she tried to blame it on the macaroni she ate. *sigh* After she went on for a while, I more specifically asked about her mood. She was all ready to act like it never happened, and she was never angry or said all those horrible things to me. We talked about it for a bit, and I tried to stress with her that if our vandal starts calling her about me, it’s because he’s trying to cause problems between us. She did try to defend him again, saying he was just telling her what’s going on, and I had to tell her, he has NO idea what’s going on. She quickly changed the subject. She didn’t quite apologize, but she did seem to try and make amends, in her own way.

I told her about our plans to get the hand pump on the original well serviced, so that we can then change the well pump and have back up water if something goes wrong. It took some time to explain to her why the well pump in the house needed to be changed at all. It has been changed in the past, but that was more than 20 years ago. The foot valve in the well, however, is original and some 45 or so years old – I think it was dug in 1974, but it might have been the year before. She couldn’t remember the exact year.

So she’s happy with the plans. Her only thing was to tell me to talk to my brother about it first, and I told her, I talk to him about everything. No living person knows this place better than he does. He was old enough to actually do a lot of this stuff alongside my dad. My other brothers were still too young for much of it, and some of it was done before I was even born. My sister is older, but she wouldn’t have been allowed to be part of this stuff, even if she were interested, because she is female. My mother then started going on about how great my brother is, and what a good job he’s doing with the farm.

Just the day before, she’d yelled and hung up on him when he called her out for how she allowed our vandal to manipulate her and treat me like crap.

She was like a totally different person.

Meanwhile…

In checking the trail cam files, I could see our vandal trying to figure out what was going on. The day the guys where here to pick up the vehicles, I saw him pull into our driveway while the gate was open – but not far enough to be trespassing! – to turn around, then slowly back down the road, so he could better see through the trees to where we were. I even remember seeing a vehicle backing up on the road, while the guys were jacking the truck out of the dirt and putting tires on it. On the trail cam files, I saw our vandal go by again, later on. Then, after the guys were gone and the gate closed, I saw a different vehicle pull into our driveway and turn around. From another camera, I could see that the driver of this vehicle was a mutual friend he’d clearly gotten to check things out.

On today’s file check, I saw our vandal in the morning, slowly driving past our driveway, then slow down even more as he drove past the bushes, trying to see through them to the other scrap vehicles.

Needless to say, we are no longer fake locking the gate.

It amazes me how furious and possessive he is about the junk. Yeah, some of it was his, but he abandoned it years ago, and neither vehicle that was taken had ever been his to begin with. The ones he’d left are in such bad shape, they aren’t even good for parts. Just the scrap dealer. Which is why he dumped them here, instead of keeping them on his own property. He was using this place as a garbage dump.

So we’re going to have to keep an extra eye on things for the next while.

Something else we might be able to keep an extra eye on is the sun room critters. My SIL gave us a camera. It was a Superstore freebie for purchases over X amount of dollars, and they had no use for it. It’s one of those little security cameras you can link to your phone to keep an eye on things through a live feed. It is not an outdoor camera, but if we can set it up in the sun room, we should be able to confirm what critters (most likely racoons) are knocking things over in there during the night. If it could handle outdoor conditions, I’d want to set it up facing the cat, kibble and water shelters, so we can see what, besides cats, is eating all the kibble, and sometimes knocking the heated water bowl right out of the shelter! Having a critter cam in the sun room, however, would be a good thing! It mostly comes down to how the device is powered. If it’s USB, we’ve got nothing to plug it into in there. We just haven’t had a chance to even take it out of the box, yet!

Who knows. I might be posting critter cam pictures on here, soon!

The Re-Farmer

Need to decompress for a while!

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First, the cuteness!

The cats just love this upper level set up! Here we have Hypotenose, Syndod and the unnamed tortie. When I fed them this morning, I think I counted 35. Or it could have been 32. I never got the same number twice, and it’s way too easy to double count!

The day started out well. It was lovely out, and I think we exceeded our predicted high of 3C/37F.

Today was the day the guy, and his son, who wanted to buy some scrap cars from us was to come over and pick them up. They arrived with a couple of trailers and four trucks altogether, as his son’s friends came along again, as did the guy’s neighbour, to help out.

It’s a good thing they had three big strapping young men along! What a job it was!

Their first goal was to get the pick up truck. They had to cut trees away first, then jack it up out of the ground it had sunk into, replace the two front tires, and put tires on the back, which had no tires at all. They were then able to use one of the trucks to pull it out of where it was parked, so they could load it onto a trailer.

That’s when things got considerably more difficult!

All four tires were seized up.

They dragged it far enough out, though, then brought the longer trailer around. Unfortunately, the ramps on the trailer turned out to be too narrow.

As all this was starting, we could hear cows. We’d had to go through the “gate” by the barn (it’s just an open part of the fence with a chain and the electric fence across it; I eventually found the barbed wire gate, mostly fallen apart and buried in tall grass). This meant taking down the electric fence, which ends at this gate, so that was easy enough to do. When the renter’s cows are here, that fence is live, of course, so when I heard cows that sounded awfully close, I went to the gravel pit, where there is water, in case a neighbour’s cows got in or something.

I found 3 cows.

But I heard more.

So I kept walking and could soon see the rest of the herd.

The renter’s cows are still here! I haven’t seen them – or even their tracks – in a while! He leaves feed for them out by the gate he brings them in by, so I guess they had no reason to go any further than the water in the gravel pit.

As I walked back, I took a closer look at where the renter sets up the battery and solar panel for the electric fence. I’d looked on the way out, but didn’t see anything.

It turned out the solar panel had been flipped upside down, on top of the battery, and was covered in snow. I’d say, high winds caught it. I’ve no idea how long it’s been out of order, since I didn’t even know the cows were still here!

Well, I guess it worked out, since we had to go through there, anyhow.

Yes, I have since let them know. At least I hope so. I sent direct message, but I might have to find their phone number and call them, if those haven’t been seen.

Anyhow.

On finding the truck could not be loaded onto that trailer, they took it across to the car graveyard. That car was also deeply sunk into the ground, but it did have all four tires and – amazingly – they were able to pump them up and they held air! Long enough to move it, at least.

The guys were so excited by this little car. I think it’s going to end up restored and driven again, rather than just used for parts! Its interior was largely gutted, but it still had its engine.

Mostly.

So that got loaded up rather quickly.

Next, they went to look at a third vehicle over by the storage shed. After cutting their way through the forest of burrs, they were able to open the doors and look inside.

Unfortunately, it turns out things are badly rotted out in there. After talking about it, it was decided they would not take that one. It was good only for scrap.

The other two next to it caught their attention, but they instead went looking at the tractor. The son still wants to buy that, but that won’t happen until spring. He did pay half as a down payment, though.

Then it was back to the truck. It took both the winch on the trailer, plus another truck with a tow strap, to drag that thing up the ramps and onto the trailer. The truck is so long, it barely fit! But, they got it.

So that was done, and the guy was saying he might be interested in some of the other vehicles, too. We shall see.

Now, with all this noise and commotion, I knew our vandal would be wondering what’s going on, since he tried to sue me for this stuff, among other things. The only reason I could even consider selling anything is because the judge threw it out. I know that wouldn’t change his mind that he is somehow entitled to all this junk, even though he had plenty of time to remove things if he wanted them, while the place was empty for two years. He certainly removed all sorts of stuff that wasn’t junk, long ago, so it’s not like he wasn’t able to. I wasn’t sure if he would suddenly show up and start screaming or something, but I didn’t see him. He’d still have heard things from our place and gone looking, though, so I knew I’d have something to deal with something, eventually.

Once everything was squared up and I was settled back inside, I started messaging my brother to let him know, and ask him how he wanted me to get the money to him. The vehicles are paid for, but the guy is going to look up the VINs and make up proper bills of sales for them, which my brother will have to sign, since he’s the owner. The truck actually had its old registration papers in the glove compartment!

While I was messaging my brother, which would take a while, since I knew he and his wife were on the road at the time, my phone rang.

It was my mother.

I knew it was going to happen, but I wasn’t expecting it that quickly!

I barely said hello, when my mother was yelling, what’s going on? What’s going on?

Yup. Our vandal had phoned her already. I don’t know what he actually told her – he would have been making things up, anyhow, since he wouldn’t know anything – but boy, did he have her wired up! It took some doing to calm her down but, as short as I can make it, my mother seems to have thought that this was some instant thing. As if some guys showed up, out of the blue, with trailers today, and I just let them haul stuff out. When I told her this was over a week in the making, she was incensed that I hadn’t told her earlier. I said, there was nothing to tell until it was done, and I was planning to phone her after I finished talking to my brother. Well, she just kept on yelling, going on about how we’re only after her money, she paid for the roof, and she is never going to pay for anything anymore… ???

As near as I can figure, going back to when she called a scrap guy to come out and look at the stuff, our first summer here, she is thinking that the money from selling the scrap would have paid for the roof, but she paid for the roof, so… we’re after her money? The thing is, when I told her the roof was leaking, she kept arguing with me, saying that they already replaced the roof (25 years ago), so it was fine. Perfect. Just like she thought everything here was perfect, as she tried to talk us into moving out here. It took years just to convince her it really did need replacing.

I eventually calmed her down and told her I needed to finish talking to my brother, and then I would call her back.

So I finished messaging him, telling as much as I could, but I knew they were probably driving and wouldn’t be able to see it right away. I even sent some pictures. I also told them about the call from my mother and the terrible things she was saying. Then I called my mother back.

*sigh*

It took some doing, but I was able to get it through that I had already talked to my brother about all this, because I can’t do anything here without him. We don’t own anything here, other than things we bought or brought ourselves. I would never do anything like that without talking to him about it first, anyhow. She made a big deal about how I wouldn’t know the value of things (because I’m female), and I had to explain to her that, by selling individual vehicles for parts, we’d get more money than selling them to a scrap dealer. I also reminded her that she’s been after us for years to get rid of all those vehicles. So that’s what I’m starting to do.

She went into some real mental gymnastics in both calls, constantly going back to how we’re just after her money (clearly, our vandal said that to her), how she was entitled to know what’s going on (she no longer owns own the property so no, she isn’t; we keep her in the loop out of respect), and demanding that the money goes towards fixing the place, because she paid for the roof, and she gives us more money than other parents do, and… on and on it went. She even tried to guilt me about how letting us live here was a kindness. I had to remind her that she begged us to move out here for years before we finally agreed, so our being here was helping both ways. She did, at least, agree to that!

I then told her I needed to let the renter know their electric fence isn’t working and got off the phone. Once I was done messaging them, I updated my brother.

His wife answered, telling me he was furious at her behaviour and was going to call her.

I ended up getting a call. He’d tried calling her several times and her line was busy, so he wanted to check if I was talking to her. I think she was probably talking to our sister.

Some time later, I got a call from my brother again. They’d actually pulled over on the side of the road to try calling our mother again. He got through to her and tried telling her she’d done the wrong thing by yelling at me and letting our vandal manipulate her, that she needed to apologize to me, call me and make it right. She, however, just kept yelling at him, then when he said she needed to make it right, she hung up on him.

Our vandal really made a mess of things with her, and she’s doing exactly what he wanted her to go; he’s trying to turn her against me and my brother (maybe my sister as well, but she’s not involved with the farm), and she’s letting him.

What chokes me is how she goes on about how badly we’re treating her, or how we’re just after her money, but is completely oblivious to her own part in all this. Like our vandal, she takes no responsibility for her behaviour, and if people actually stand up to her and call her out on her behaviour, they’re the ones that are treating her badly, and she’s the victim. She has also tried to control me, and our finances (including my husband in this) for as long as I can remember. The one person who actually does want all her money is our vandal.

You’d think my mother was rich or something, with all this going on. She’s got next to nothing, and the only reason she has what she has is because my brother has been taking care of things for her. She also goes on about how she just wants us all to get along, but plays us against each other, every chance she gets.

Which reminds me. I need to email my sister and tell her what’s happened, thanks to our vandal.

*sigh*

I guess I should get that over with now.

The Re-Farmer

Zero motivation

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I’m just not feeling it today.

My daughters pulled an all nighter last night. Aside from my older daughter working on her commissions, they did the usual cooking and cleaning, and my younger daughter baked an amazing zucchini cake with cream cheese icing. She’d baked one while house sitting, using zucchini from my brother’s garden, but we had to buy zucchini for this one, since our summer squash barely survived the slugs and didn’t produce much this year. Oh, she also did laundry and ended up spending two HOURS taking care if this…

This happened while I was clearing bush to access the tree I needed to debranch and cut to size. These are tiny burrs from a weed that has the prettiest, daintiest flowers that become these horrible things. I’ve been pulling them up every time I see them, but once the flowers are done blooming, they’re really hard to see.

Turns out I missed quite a lot of them.

I’d tried to rub out as many as I could before putting them through the wash. Once through the drier, the tiny burrs are a bit easier to rub out, but I ended up putting them back in the washing machine, to be included in the next load. Which turned out to be my daughter’s bedding. She didn’t realize what was on them until she moved things to the drier. Rather than risk burs ending up all over her bedding, she instead started picking them out, mostly one burr at a time!!

I would never have had that patience!

They’ll need to be washed again to hopefully remove the last little bits.

Then, since they were both up anyhow, they let me sleep in a bit and took care of feeding the outside cats for me, and I could do my rounds a bit later. I had to change the batteries on the trail cams today, including the solar powered one. I’ve had to change batteries on that one only once since we got it, and that was because I accidentally left it on “setting”, which meant it spent and entire day and night draining power while waiting for buttons to be pushed. The solar panel would have kept it going during the day, but once it was dark and the batteries were being used, they were completely drained.

As for me, I was glad to have that extra sleep and, to be honest, I’m fighting the urge to go back to bed. It’s gorgeous out there and there is lots of work to do, but I’m feeling quite drained.

With yesterday’s chill, I was planning on getting some crochet done after having a late lunch. I was just settling in to eat in the cat free zone (the living room) when the phone rang. Of course, the living room handset wasn’t in the living room at the time, and I didn’t get to it before it went to machine. It was my mother, and telling me to call her back, and she did not sound good at all.

So I called her back right away and found out why.

Our vandal had just showed up at her place, out of the blue, and he was in a full rage, apparently, He was yelling at her at her door, so the entire building could hear, going on about how she “gave” me the farm. Where he got that notion, I have no idea, because the property was signed over to my brother, not me. This was directly because of our vandal harassing her to change the will and give it to him. With the farm off the will entirely, he would not be able to contest it. In some messages he’d more recently left on her machine, he went on about “squatters rights” and how the property now belongs to me, but Canadian law no longer recognizes squatter’s rights, and hasn’t for a very long time. Not that we’re squatters in the first place. We have an informal arrangement, but an arrangement nonetheless. I don’t know who got it in his head that the property now belongs to me (and just me; apparently, the rest of my family doesn’t exist), but that’s his current thing.

To my mother’s credit, she told him outright, it’s none of his business. He already managed to get what would have been his inheritance more than 20 years ago, but he wants more. He started going on about how he worked on the farm, too (as if my siblings and I didn’t??). He is absolutely convinced he’s somehow entitled to the property, and seems to believe my mother can somehow still give it to him? It makes no sense, but we’re not dealing with a rational person, here.

Also to my mother’s credit, she finally told him to never come back. Previously, she’s sabotaged our efforts to protect her from him by actually phoning him and inviting him for tea or to go out for lunch or something. There seems to be a huge guilt factor motivating her efforts to make peace with someone who used to be so close, but has become completely irrational. I think feelings of guilt are behind his behaviour as well. My late brother’s death really destroyed him. I think a part of him recognises how much he’d taken advantage of my late brother, and that they weren’t anywhere near as close as he’s invented in his mind since the accident. He’s been taking it out on my mother, in particular, and since my father passed, has been using both of their deaths to cruelly abuse and manipulate my mother. That he has failed just seems to eat at him and is causing him to double down. A newer manipulation he’s using on her is that he’s apparently dying of cancer one day, or can’t walk anymore on another (as he stands at the door, having walked into her building…). He likely does need hip surgery again, but how is that my mother’s fault? Oh, right. He’s blaming his hip damage on all the work he supposedly did at the farm. Back when we were still close, I was the one that advised him to keep at the doctors about how much pain he was in, after working aircraft maintenance, on concrete floors and crawling around inside the craziest of places, looking for hairline cracks. The doctors didn’t want to do it because he was “too young” and it would need to be redone every 10 years. Well, it’s been a lot more than 10 years, so he’s likely in a lot of pain right now. And now he’s rewritten his own memory as to the cause and using it against my mother for… what? What does he expect her to do for him? Probably give him what’s left of her money, instead of the land. Though he has vowed to use every penny, even to the point of homelessness, to sue my brother and I. For what, I’m not entirely sure.

My mother is the weak link and the soft target. He hasn’t been going after me anymore. Our restraining order is expired, but he knows that I am willing to go to such efforts to stop him, which seems to be enough to keep him from going back to his past behaviour. Mind you, we did have a trail cam stolen, as well as the old sign with my father’s name on it, while the restraining order was in effect, but he technically did not have to go onto the property to do it, and we have no actual evidence that it was him. Still, when I mentioned it in court during mediation while trying to get the restraining order (he was not present for that), his lawyer and the judge were both nodding along going, “yeah, it would have been him.” There’s simply no one else that would have done it. So far, I’ve only seen him on the trail cams driving by. He no longer gives the finger to the cameras, nor comes up to the gate to shout down our driveway, while clearly drunk again.

Anyhow.

My mother hadn’t actually wanted to talk to me about it. She wanted to talk to my sister about it, as my sister still has some civil contact with our vandal. Well. Her husband does, anyhow. She couldn’t get through to my sister by phone, so I promised I’d send her an email, which I did immediately after getting off the phone.

Then I messaged my brother to update him, and we ended up chatting for quite some time. There isn’t a lot we can do about it, but we need to be aware, in case this is a sign that our vandal is losing it again and might decide to cause us problems here on the farm again. As for my sister, she did get through to my mother, then sent our vandal a message that probably didn’t do any good at all, but I guess it was worth a shot.

By the time all that was done, my food was cold and my tea was tepid. I also had to move on to other things and never got to my crochet at all.

I still feel completely drained and have no desire to go outside and get work done. The chances of him harassing me from the road are next to nil, so that’s not the issue. I’m just tired. Mentally and psychologically tired.

Of all the struggles we have found ourselves dealing with since the move, our vandal turning from friend to foe is the one that is the most unfortunate and difficult. That he goes after my mother like that… Ugh. My mother may be pretty abusive and cruel herself, but that doesn’t justify his abusive behaviour towards her. Especially over something that is none of his business. Blaming the actions from both of them on mental illness – as accurate as that may be – cannot be an excuse to accept the behaviour.

So… that’s where I’m at now. I really need to get outside and get some work done, while the weather is good, but I have zero motivation and zero energy. I’m simply out of spoons.

The Re-Farmer

This is why I stay flexible

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When it comes to overall plans for the day, I tend to be very loosey goosey. Mostly it’s because I hate making solid plans, then having something else come up and disrupt them. Which happens.

A lot.

This morning, I was able to get out while it was still cool to do my morning rounds, sex up some squash flowers, prune the tomatoes and harvest a few carrots.

I only picked a few to add to a chili type dish I plan to make. I intend to leave the rest in the ground for as long as I can, to get bigger. These are the Naval carrots that we made seed tape with. There’s a bit of damage on a couple of them because I had to use a digging tool to loosen the soil enough to pull them out without breaking them. For all the amending and mulching we’ve been doing, compaction remains a huge problem.

It was getting quite hot and muggy by the time I came in. I ended up having my breakfast… er… lunch… in the living room. Partly to enjoy the cool of the AC, but also because I usually eat while working at my computer, but the kittens have started to try and get at my food when I do that! We have a Roku set up on our TV, so I got to enjoy my lunch while watching The French Chef on Tubi.

I was just finished up and planning to head outside again when the phone rang.

It was my mother, wondering if I could come over and help her with shopping.

😄

When we spoke on the phone a few days ago, I specifically asked about when she would need to go shopping next. She told me she was done, well stocked up, etc. She then spent the next while listing off what my sister had brought her from her garden, and that she had going to the grocery store to pick up a couple of things for her, and she had this, and that, and this other thing…

My response was, so… why don’t we plan on it for Friday?

Nope. She didn’t want to set a date, because she’s well stocked…

Today is Friday.

She almost sounded sheepish when she asked if I could come over!

So I changed out of my grubbies and headed over to her place. We had a bit of a visit, first. Of course, she found ways to criticize and insult me within minutes, because she’s like that. Apparently, it’s a complete shock that I was wearing socks. It’s summer. Why am I wearing socks? There was also something about hose. As if she thought I was wearing panty hose, until I lifted my pant leg to figure out what she was talking about.

We ended up talking about the new steel toe shoes I was wearing, instead of the boots I usually do, which lead to me telling her (again) that I’d injured my feet long ago, by being over active so that’s why I have to wear really good shoes all the time. My mother, of course, just had to make a dig about how it (my foot injuries) was because I was fat. She is utterly obsessed with my being fat, and always finds ways to point out how this is some sort of moral and personal failing, the cause of all my problems, and that if I just did what she told me, I’d be skinny. Or something. I reminded her that I injured my feet before I got fat, and it’s why I started getting fat. Well, that and childbirth. All the woman in my mother’s side of the family got fat after having babies. They also all lived to hale and hearty old age, while all my skinny ancestors died young, but that’s a conversation beyond her ability to understand. Yes, my mother is fat. She’s been fat for as long as I can remember and, for all her hypochondria, astonishingly healthy at 92 years old. Anyhow, I called her on her behaviour, and her habit of finding sly ways to point out how disgusting she finds me. She, of course, tried to gaslight me, going on about how I shouldn’t be so upset (pointing out her behaviour is always translated as being angry or upset, or otherwise out of control; typical of gaslighting), or that I was the one attacking her, and when that failed, she started talking to the picture of Jesus on the wall.

It didn’t work.

Eventually, my pointing out that it was her own behaviour that was the cause of the problem, not my inability to accept her verbal abuse, got her to a point where she couldn’t find a way to twist it around and make it my fault anymore.

At which point, I went back to says, yes, I wear socks with my work shoes in the summer.

After that, the visit went really well! 😄

I helped her run her errands, going to various places. She is really struggling to get in and out of the car these days. She would have just given me a list to do her shopping for her, but there were things she wanted to look at and choose herself. What I used to do at the grocery store was bring a cart for her to use as a walker, but now I insist she use the walker while I push the cart, so she has something to sit down on if her knees start to give out on her. And she’s taken advantage of that!

What was funny is that after everything was put away and we were sitting for a brief rest and visit, she actually “kicked me out”, saying she wanted to take a nap. Usually, when I try to leave, she tries to guilt me into staying longer, and how this is my “holiday”, and the girls can take care of things at the farm, and she’s not going to be around forever, so I should spent more time with her! Nope. Now, she’s tired. Time for me to go!

I’m quite okay with that. I was tired, too!

Not too tired, though. When I went to get some gas, I saw the farmer’s market was open, and my cousin’s truck was there. It’s been ages since I got honey from him! Last year, the weather destroyed most of his hives. Usually, we would get a 5kg bucket of honey from him, but not this year. I was able to get one of his large 1.5kg jars, though.

I also picked up some fresh baked sourdough bread and strawberry rhubarb pie!

I would never pay those prices at a grocery store – the pie cost more than the honey! That size jar – the largest he had available – was only $13. I also checked out, but skipped, a booth with fresh vegetables that looked really good. Just not vegetables we typically eat, or stuff we have our own of. Lots of people thought they looked good, to. There was an actual line up of people waiting to pay for their selections.

Small farmer’s markets like this are hard for me to go to. I want to support all of the vendors! Even if I’m not entirely sure what it is they’re selling. 😄

One of the other things I did while at my mother’s was to clean up her answering machine, saving the calls from our vandal that she’ still getting. I recorded them and sent them to my brother. We are very perplexed by some of the things our vandal has been saying. My vandal has been leaving me alone, but he recently called and left messages with my brother, and also called my mother, saying some very strange things about me. One text message he sent to my brother was so bizarre and disjointed, I honestly wondered if he had a stroke or something.

It did give me a chance to talk to my brother, though. Normally, I hate talking on the phone, but not with him! I think we spoke for about an hour or more!

Then I forgot about this post in progress. Oops.

Well, at least I sexed up some more squash flowers, watered the garden, added more supports to the melon trellis (we have baby melons!), got the slow cooker going, started laundry and had my supper in the living room with Marlee, to give her a break from the kittens!

By the end of the weekend, though, we will be down a kitten. The Cat Lady and her family are in the area, and she will swing by to pick up Ghosty, whose eyes are starting to get all sticky again, when they are on their way back to the city.

Soon, we’ll have to get some good photos of the other kittens and Decimus to send to her, so she can pass them on to her contacts and hopefully get them adopted out when they are weaned.

The kittens are sweet and adorable, but I’m going to be happy when they’re gone!

Not as happy as Marlee, though.

The Re-Farmer

An eye rolling surprise, and some cuteness

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I paused what I was working on to help my daughter get some old bikes out of the barn hayloft. She and my husband have been looking at the one I got for $10 at a garage sale, and I’m told it would cost more to fix it, than get a new bike! Given the price of new bikes these days, I don’t think so, but it needs a lot of work.

There are old bikes strewn around all over the farm, and my daughter had already brought a couple over. For the ones in the hay loft, the won’t fit through the opening in the floor, where it’s accessed by a ladder. There is a pair of doors on the side facing the house that haven’t been touched since the girls went up to secure them, after they were blown open during high winds.

Except… it turned out someone else had been up there.

In the fall of 2018, we discovered our vandal had boarded the barn doors up to try and prevent us from accessing stuff he felt entitled to. It never occurred to us that he would have gone up into the hayloft and boarded the doors up from the inside! It took my daughter quite a while to get them out, without damaging the doors more. The screws were driven deep into the wood, with two of them so deep, she didn’t even see them at first. He’d done that same thing with the main doors, with one driven so far into the wood, I never did get it out. I had to break the screw – something that was not an option for my daughter, today. The second door is still attached somehow, but she could not see where. One door open was enough to fit the bikes through, though. The floor up there is increasingly unsafe to walk on – I can’t go up there at all anymore – so she very carefully grabbed 4 adult size bikes that were up there (there are also a couple of tricycles!) and lowered them down with a rope. I would remove the rope and set the bike aside, while she got the next one.

There was one bike on the lower level she hadn’t noticed earlier, but I’d seen it while scavenging through the various piles of stuff back there. I dug it out for her and, in the process, discovered a couple of piles of ceramic tiles. Maybe about 30, altogether. They weren’t the usual used salvage, either, but look like none of them have ever been used! I’m sure we can find something to do with them. 😊

Anyhow.

After we got the bikes down, my daughter looked around for anything else worth taking out. There’s a lot of stuff there, including the ubiquitous stacks of old tires, with and without rims. She ended up passing down to me some wood that looked like it was still in decent condition. Four or five 2×6 boards that are all about 12 feet long! I say “about” because they all have rotted ends, just like the other salvage lumber in the barn we’ve been making use of as best we can. There’s more lumber up there, but it’s all pretty rotten.

After we finished up and my daughter secured the doors from the inside so they wouldn’t blow open, I headed back to the house with a few things, while she started bringing the bikes closer. We now have a collection of 8 bikes out there. We’re hoping to be able to cobble together at least one that will work!

As I came to the house, though, I was thoroughly distracted by an adorable, squished kitty!

We keep this bin under the laundry platform bench, on its side and weighed down with bricks, as a place to keep the bucket of clothes pins out of the weather. The cats love to squish in the remaining space. Adam had been asleep when I came by, and does not look at all impressed that I interrupted his nap!

It looks like he’s been getting those burrs out of his fur, little by little. I managed to sneak a pet of his back while he was eating, recently, and didn’t feel the lumps I’d felt before. His long haired tuxedo brother, Driver, still has them in his tail and won’t let me get them out, but the ones on his body seem to be gone. Even Decimous, the little black and white, is looking like he as fewer mats in his fur. That leaves Brussel for the long haired cats, and she’s so stand-offish, we’ve never been able to tell if she’s getting matts or burrs in her fur. I’m just sort of assuming there are burrs in there. Even the short hairs cats have been having problems with them!

I do wish we could socialize all the outside cats! It would make it so much easier to take care of them!

They do make life more cheerful, though, just by existing! 😊

The Re-Farmer