Critters, growing things and an update

Before I get into how things went this morning, I wanted to share this…

You can click through for a short video I managed to take while doing the evening feeding. Being in the isolation shelter means cat soup treat. Curtis had spent the night in the shelter, came out after the morning feeding, then right back in again later. Then Havarti scrambled his way up to the window. Domino is back with her cuddle buddies, and that helps. She definitely still wants to go out the windows when I do the food and water, but when she can’t get through, she is willing to accept the pets. I know that, once she is out of isolation, I’ll probably never be able to touch her again, but in all the time she was with the foster, she hid and never accepted pets like this.

I sent the video to the rescue chat group we have and they were so happy to see her accepting pets.

They also told me, it looks like Sweetie might be coming back, too. She has not settled in at all. They can pet her, but she is constantly anxious. They sent some photos and video. In the video, she is being petted but not responding at all, other than moving her head, watching with giant, terrified eyes. Poor thing! They are going to try and give her more time, but if she can’t accept the indoor life, she will be coming back here.

After feeding the outside cats, I did my evening rounds, and finally had a chance to go into the fenced off area where the tulip patch is, and the saffron crocuses. For all the mulch I added, the weeds have taken over, and I couldn’t even see the saffron crocuses anymore. I pulled handfuls of weeds until I got close to where I knew they were, then had to be extremely careful. After pulling up the tallest stuff, I had the creeping bellflower leaves covering everything. With those, I basically had to grab a single leaf, carefully follow it down to the ground, then pull it out. Pulling from higher on the stem usually resulted in it breaking.

I couldn’t get everything, but the crocuses are no longer buried. Those are the thin, grass-like leaves in the above photo.

I also cleared enough to access the crocuses and a couple of nearby tulips, but that was all I was able to do, today. I’ll have to go in again and clear around the tulips. That is going to take a while!

My older daughter came out while I was putting the “gate” back and showed her some of the progress in the garden. Then we gathered some fresh herbs for the fish she was about to cook for her sister and herself ( my husband and I don’t like most fish) for supper before I continued with my rounds – pausing to check out the pink rose bush.

The white rose bushes are almost done blooming, and the mock orange is looking like it’s about to explode into flowers any day now. Some buds at the bottom are already starting to show white petals.

I was heading towards the barn to take a peek inside, walking past a couple of my brother’s trucks, when I heard a noise coming from one of them. As I went to check one of them, I heard the noise again, coming from behind me. This truck has a home made plywood cap on it that extends over the cab of the truck. For a moment, I feared a cat had somehow got locked inside, though I didn’t think my brother had opened the doors while they were here least weekend.

I opened the door and found this, looking back at me.

A single baby raccoon!

I would say this is one of the four that had been in the garden shed until my taking things out finally scared them off. The other three and the mama are probably under or in a shed somewhere. I looked around to try and see how it got in and realized the entire wall of the cap by the rear windshield wasn’t there. 😄 There are just small panels on either side, but there is more than enough space for critters to get in.

So no trapped critters. Just curious ones! I was actually happy to see it. I miss them being in the garden shed!

Now to how this morning went.

My daughter and I headed out 2 hours before her appointment, which should have gotten us there almost half and hour early. We did stop briefly at a gas station in the one town along the highway to pick up some drinks for the road and to get the maps app up. If we get it going from home, the app links to our wifi, then basically doesn’t like to switch to data once we’re on the highway, and the app doesn’t work right. I didn’t actually need it until we were well into the city, but it was ready for my daughter to be my Nav O once we got closer.

Along the way, there was a section that we needed to slow down at – the section of highway that got washed out during the storms not long ago. With all the rain we had yesterday, the gravel patch job was a real mess. I noted that they did install double culverts where the highway washed out, so this shouldn’t happen again, once they finished fixing and paving it.

We had to make one more stop at another gas station shortly after reaching the city, but neither stop took particularly long. It was the traffic and road conditions that set us back. Then, once we found the place (the streets being every bit as broken up as I expected) we found the parking lot I’d seen on the satellite map.

The entrance was through a back lane and partially blocked by a truck unloading cargo.

With all the one way streets, it too a bit for me to be able to drive around and back track. I did manage to get past the truck. From the signs, we saw they did have visitor parking for the clinic – a whole three spots. One of them was occupied. Another was “small car only”, and meant it. The third required me driving to the other end of the lot to turn around and drive back the other way so I could pull in, because there wasn’t room enough for me to drive right in, then straighten out, without hitting a parked car – and my truck isn’t particularly big!

As we walked around the building to the doors, the first red flags appeared. This is NOT a safe neighbourhood. We were maybe 10 minutes to my daughters appointment time at 10am, and there were already several people listing about. This is the sort of area that I wouldn’t want to be walking around in broad daylight without something I could use to defend myself.

No surprise, the entry doors were locked. No signs. I finally saw what looked like a possible intercom with a keypad and pushed a button I hoped was to someone inside.

No one answered, but a Purolator guy came through and let us in the first doors, and a staff member saw us and opened up the second set of doors.

They had a sign in sheet for the visitor parking that I filled out so we wouldn’t get towed, then my daughter checked in. Being a first visit, she was given a clip board with a form to fill out, and we sat in the first waiting room. When she handed that in, we moved to a second waiting room. My daughter was called in soon after.

Given what happened the last time she saw a specialist in the city, I offered to go in with her, as a sort of body guard. She said she would be okay. I will say now, from the start, that she was very happy with this appointment. It was an intake appointment, and she came out with a date for a follow up appointment near the end of next month.

Her appointment went quite long, so I had a lot of time to sit there and look around.

This place is a “community health centre”. Being downtown and in a sketchy area, there are some things I would expect that is different from other clinics. Still… there were significant difference that I could see.

All clinics have a few larger posters on the walls, giving health information about specific things. Or with information for people in abuse situations, telling where they can reach or for help. These are clean looking and informative as much as the space allows for.

This place was splattered with small posters all over the place, and they sent out more red flags. A poster about fentanyl, for example, wasn’t giving information on the dangers of fentanyl, but was about the “myths”, suggesting that using it was not all that dangerous. Another poster, instead of, say, giving information on how to get help for sexual exploitation, or cautioning about the dangers of promiscuous sex (plenty of other signs showed they have out free STD treatment kits) instead directed the reader to an app on… how to engage in promiscuous sex “safely”. Other posters basically pandered to all the current identities and ideologies currently trending, written like they were aimed at people with the cognitive development of kids in elementary school. None of them were about how to get healthy or avoid health problems. They were all basically enabling self destructive behaviour. The focus on race in some of them was both creepy and paternalistic.

Aside from all that, the longer I sat there…. Well. Let me put it this way. In my years, I have been stalked, threatened, harassed and physically attacked by a drunk person who wanted to kill me. I’ve walked through downtown city streets in the wee hours of the morning, when the bars were closing down and the drunks were staggering about. I lived in high crime areas. Then there was the situation with our vandal. Not once, in all these years, did I fell as unsafe as I did in the waiting room of this clinic. Everything around me triggered red flags. Even the times I got smiles from the staff felt… wrong.

Part of safety issue was how the staff had to use security key cards to go in and out several doors. Clearly, it wasn’t just the people outside the clinic that was a security threat. From one of these doors I saw two women come out, talking loud enough for everyone in the waiting room to hear. The older (white) staff member was quite angry as she demanded to know how the younger one knew that there was a laptop. The younger (not white) woman said she’d seen the older woman use it for a presentation. As they walked down the hall, I could see the anger in the older woman as she was first silent about being seen using it, then declared that there were two laptops, but only certain people were allowed to use them. This younger woman was clearly not one of them. The conversation, such as it was, continued as they went down the hall.

Shortly after, the older woman came back down the hall alone. I made eye contact with her and she gave me a friendly smile, totally at odds with how she behaved towards the other woman.

I had found news articles about an investigation and report about this place, released last summer. Among the things they looked into were problems of racism and a “toxic work environment”.

I just saw an example of that. Clearly, firing three board members didn’t fix anything.

By the time my daughter was done – looking quite happy – I was feeling my skin starting to crawl from the skeevy creepiness of the place.

We didn’t talk about it right away. Just getting out of the parking lot and avoiding people staggering in front of the truck, was an issue and I had to focus on driving. It was around 11 by then, and neither of us had had breakfast, other than sharing a bag of beef jerky from the truck snack stash during the drive in. My daughter wanted to buy us breakfast and I remembered that our route took us past a mall that was convenient to get into. So that’s where we ended up going. We found the food court and the first thing I spotted was a bento place I knew was good, even though I’d never been to this location specifically, before. On seeing the menu, we both ended up ordering the exact same thing. A salmon bento – normally, I would have gotten chicken, but it was tempura salmon – and a taro bubble tea.

It was amazingly good. That is one thing I do miss about living in the city. Having access to such a variety of fast meal choices from all over the world.

While there, I mentioned to my daughter about how I felt while at this clinic, that it wasn’t safe, and that I never wanted to go back there again. She was really surprised, because she’d had such a good appointment. I tried to describe what I was seeing with the posters, which she hadn’t had time to look at herself, and she just sort of … made justifications for them. She didn’t see what I saw and, chances are, she’s not going to get what the problem with them was.

This is going to be an issue.

Her next appointment is going to be more on the medical side rather than the intake side, and seeing what surgeons she needs to be referred to. Hopefully, she’ll be referred to actual good ones.

As for the drive, I was very happy to be getting out of the city – and that Damocles didn’t drop the sword again. The truck behaved. I needed to get gas, but the prices in the city were $1.649/L instead of the $1.599 we saw when we’d stopped at a station in the town along the highway. I had decided we would be getting gas along the way, but there was one last gas station, just outside the city, that was at $1.579, so we stopped there. I am planning to do a Costco run on Friday and will be filling the tank there, so I just needed to top up a bit. I’m glad I did, because when we drove through the town again, the gas prices there had gone up to $1.649 while we were gone!

Once at home, I was curious and looked up reviews for this clinic.

I wish we’d done this before.

Yes, there were some glowing 5 star reviews with comments like “best place ever!” But there were just as many 1 star reviews – and virtually nothing in between. These gave more information. At least one other person commented on how unsafe it felt in the clinic – especially for women – while others commented on the unsafe neighbourhood. People who had been going there for years commented that things had gone down hill so badly, they would not be going back. Some would say the doctors were great, but the nurses were horrible. Others would say the complete opposite. A lot of people talked about not getting the care they need, including being turned away from the walk in clinic, being denied mental health help (counseling and therapy are among the services provided), being pushed to go “trans” instead of getting help with their mental health, and some talking about wanting to take their own lives after going there. Plenty finished their comments with “don’t go. Just, don’t.”

Yes, I tried to bring it up with my daughter.

It just got her back up.

This is going to be a problem. I truly do not think she is going to get the care she needs there. I’m reminded of when my husband tried to be the “good patient” for so long, while his real problems not being addressed, and by the time that was looked at, it was too late and he was permanently disabled.

So… I don’t quite know how to deal with this right now. I just know, down to my bones, that this place is not good.

*sigh*

Anyhow. That’s where we’re at right now.

Tomorrow, I’ve got a day at home, and then we’ll be doing the usual end of month running around, plus my daughter has her blacksmithing workshop. When I have the chance to work around the yard, I have a new thing to focus on. My brother and SIL will be having a large bin delivered about half way through July, and it will be picked up again after 10 days. This will be for hauling away the non-scrap metal junk. My brother will take the metal to a scrap yard himself – he has the trailer and equipment needed to do it – for cash.

They’ll have it dropped off near our current junk pile, which actually has quite a bit of metal stuff in it, so anything we want to have hauled away can be brought over to that spot.

I’ll finally be able to clear stuff away from around the garden shed. I hadn’t wanted to do it yet, because there is so much in the junk pile already. Anything we add to the pile now will be hauled away by the end of July. Judging from the size of the bin they’re having dropped off, my brother has identified a lot of stuff in the outer yard that needs to go!

What a difference it’s going to be, with my brother and SIL able to come out so often now, and with the resources, tools and equipment they have. Night and day, really!! There was only so much we could do on our own and, with all the health issues showing up, it’s getting harder just to maintain what we managed to get done in our early years here. I’ve been feeling like we haven’t been able to hold up our end of the bargain for living here anymore.

Well, it’s certainly going to be a very different summer, this year!

On many levels.

The Re-Farmer

Finally got a visit in

Yes, I finally made it to visit my mother at the new TCU today! The truck even behaved normally the whole time. 😄

But first, the cuteness!

I got home late enough to do the evening feeding, and couldn’t resist getting a picture of this fluffy beauty.

Zoomed in from a distance, because she? he? is pretty feral and none of us have been able to get close. It does come into the sun room to snuggle with other cats and eat, so that’s encouraging, at least.

I headed out to visit my mother shortly past noon. I made sure to check on the truck before hand, and the clock still showed the right time, and even the door chime dinged appropriately, so whatever gremlin we’ve got in the electrical seems to be napping.

While today was warmer, we’ve been having intermittent snow and “snow showers” throughout the day. The highway was good, though, and while visibility was reduced, it wasn’t by much – at least not while I was on the road.

When I got to the hospital, I went into the wing I thought my mother was in, but it turns out the TCU was in a completely different wing. I did get to see what the long term car section looked like, though. While at the nursing station, looking for someone, I saw a lot of seniors all over, and several of them demanded to know why I was there and what I wanted! Thankfully, a staff member (a janitor, I think) showed up. I told her who I was there to see, and she knew my mother’s name, then led me through the hospital to the wing my mother was in.

I’d brought some stuff my mother requested, including more Pepto. There was someone at the nursing station, and I was able to leave it with her.

I also had a chance to ask about the photos my brother left of our vandal and my sister. Our vandal has visited a couple of times already, and my mother’s been there for just over a week. I was able to let her know that the last time he was there, he ended up with a check for a substantial amount. This is one of the issues with him; he’s managed to get many thousands of dollars our of my mother over the years. In this case, the check was written out by his wife for my mother to sign. I made sure to say, this was just so they know it happened, not that I was trying to blame anyone. Knowing my mother, she probably didn’t need a lot of persuasion and may well has suggested it herself.

The nurse I spoke to took some notes about it, so other stiff will be aware. I also talked a bit about my sister, as they would have her photo, too. I explained that with her, it’s more that both our vandal and my mother can manipulate her so easily. She has caused problems by going along with them when she should have said no.

Then I had to ask which room my mother was in. I had it in one of my family group messages, but couldn’t get a connection to look it up. It turned out I wasn’t even able to send updates to my family, either.

The nurse told me where to go, and I soon found my mother. She has the bed against the window, but her room mate had her curtain completely closed, so I wasn’t interrupting anyone else.

The visit was… difficult.

We started to talk, but there was some banging going on down the hall. I starting going through the bag of things I’d brought for her, but she was very disturbed. She moved to sit in a chair and started to tell me where to put things, then started to cry (it may even have been partially genuine) and complain about it, saying I had to get her out of there. She brought up the banging, and thought her room mate was doing it. !! I said no, there’s some sort of construction or repairs happening. My mother said we could go to somewhere more private and let me to the common room.

Which was directly across the hall from the banging.

At the time, a workman was using a chisel on the edge of a door for what turned out to be the installation of a keypad locking assembly.

The common room clearly had been a hospital room in the past and wasn’t particularly big, but it was in the corner of the wing, so it had two big windows and lots of light. Someone in a wheelchair was at a table working on a jigsaw puzzle. My mother introduced us. She has her own favourite armchair, right in the corner between the two windows, with a hospital bed table. She told me she eats her meals there.

We started talking and she kept telling me how terrible things where and how much she wanted to get out of there. She made it sound like the banging was happening all the time (the work on the door would have started just today), and talking. Apparently, her room mate sleeps all day and talks to herself all night. Which is curious, since both my brother and my sister have said they’ve talked to her during their daytime visits and found her very nice. After a while, the guy working on the puzzle started to leave, and my mother thanked him for the privacy.

As we talked for the next while, my mother was all over the place. She went from complaining about the noise and how she has all this money, but is stuck living there (I told her, everyone else there is in the same situation as her, regardless of money), to talking about how my sister should visit more often (she’s visited my mother twice in the first week), and even complained about my brother and his wife giving her an Easter card. Now. A month ahead of Easter, so that means they’re not planning to visit her on Easter. I reminded her, they are going on a pilgrimage. They’re going to be overseas. When are the leaving? I don’t know. How long will they be gone? For weeks! They’re going to be walking very far! She scoffed, but seemed to realize complaining that they were going on a pilgrimage for Easter wasn’t probably not a good idea! It didn’t stop her from claiming my brother was “running away” from her (he’s visited her more often than I have!), and so on.

I do think I was able to get her to calm down about things a bit. I tried talking about how this was temporary, and just one step to getting her to where she wants to be, and how the system works. She didn’t like that, but she also started to get upset because someone else came into the room and sat in one of the armchairs behind me. She kept glaring at him over my shoulder, and making comments about him being there while she had company. I kept reminding her, this is a public room!

At one point, she started to get things out of her purse, then got up to leave, telling me to wait for her. It turned out she had gone into the hall to talk to the guy working on the door, complaining about the noise, saying it was making her go deaf (my mother’s hearing is better than mine) and started crying again. He told her he was almost done and it wouldn’t be much longer, so she came back in.

I had hoped she had forgotten, but my mother got out her checkbook. She said, she wanted to pay for the work on the truck. !!! I tried to defer, but she insisted. I admit, she was generous about it, in her own way. Normally, she would ask for exactly how much it cost, then write out for an amount to the penny, or somewhat less. She didn’t even ask how much it cost, but told me to how much to write it out for so she could sign it. It will mostly cover the cost of the repairs.

I’m not going to deposit it until I’ve checked with my brother. He manages her accounts very well on her behalf. At one point, she asked me how much was in her account, thinking my brother told her. I said, I have no idea. It’s none of my business! I’m not sure if she approved of that, or was angry I didn’t know. 😄

We talked some more about her living situation and getting her into somewhere permanent. It’s frustrating to simply not know. In the end, it’s the government that decides, through the health care system. We have no say in the matter, but now that she’s in the system, it should work out better than trying to get where she wants to be from outside the system.

I noticed my mother had her rosary around her neck, so I suggested she pray the rosary. She said it gets hard to pray (referring to her own mental function; she does recognize that she is having increased cognitive issues). I reminded her that God doesn’t need words to know what she is praying for. I suggested that, if she starts feeling really anxious, to even just hold the cross on her rosary and use that to keep her mind on God. I couldn’t remember the exact words at the time, but reminded her of Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. (yes, I had to look it up – I remember the words, not the chapter and verse! 😄) She immediately knew the verse I was referring to, and it really seemed to perk her up. So we held hands and prayed together, and that seemed to help her a lot more.

Eventually, though, I had to head out, as I knew the roads would not be very good for long. She walked with me to the door. One of the things we’d talked about was the vitamin for her dry macular degeneration, and I’d explained that I made the calls to get a prescription faxed to the nursing station. She said she wasn’t getting them yet, so I said I would ask. Thankfully, because she walked me out, it helped me remember – and I’m glad I did!

They never got the prescription.

We talked for a while, and I said I would call the optometrist where she got the original prescription from and find out what was happening. I was concerned about my mother walking back on her own using her walker, but one of the nurses had seen us and was waiting. She assured me she would get my mother to her room okay.

From there, I made a stop at the gas station to update the family. Not to get gas, though. While I was visiting with my mother, the gas prices went from $1.359 to $1.419!

I’m glad I left when I did, as conditions were starting to worsen, but I got home okay – and the truck behaved the whole time.

As soon as I was settled in, I made a bunch of calls. Apparently, the prescription for my mother’s eye vitamin did get faxed, yesterday. In the end, the receptionist I spoke to said she would try and print out what she had in her system and fax it again, as the optometrist was working a different location until next week. Some time later, I got a call from the TCU letting me know they got it. She then explained that this vitamin comes in two forms. A soft gel, which my mother was getting in her bubble packs, and a tablet form. They only get the tablet form. If my mother wants the soft gel, we would have to provide it. I explained that, with my mother, she believes that because they look different, it’s the wrong medicine – she believes that of all her medications – and that we’ve tried to explain it to her. I said to give her the tablets for now (I don’t want her to go without it, as she is complaining about vision loss), and to explain to her what that specific tablet is. We’ll see how she does with that, for now. If necessary, we’ll have to get something set up with the local pharmacy for those.

I’m glad I finally made it to visit my mother, but it’s so frustrating. I understand why she’s not happy there, and absolutely understand her desire for more quiet. It’s part of what we like about living in the boonies, after all! At the same time, I know my mother well enough to know that a lot of this is self inflicted. My mother is one of those people that always sees the worst in others, and interprets things in their worst possible light. I remember when my father when through a lot of this, and at every stage, he was always so thankful, so grateful, to the people around him, whether it was the home care aids or the nursing home staff. He always let them know how much he appreciated them for how well they took care of him. Every time I called him, he would go on about how great they all were. My mother? She’s the complete opposite, most of the time, and it’s not getting any better as she gets older. In fact, the only person she will speak highly of these days is…

Yup. Our vandal. She says, they’re getting along good now. I reminded her of that last letter he wrote to her, and the horrible things he said to her, and that he hasn’t stopped. He may be behaving around her when his wife is around, but he’s still doing things (I didn’t tell her about him driving by while I was shoveling out the plow ridge, slowing down to a crawl at the end of the driveway). She thinks he’s changed. I said, I hope so, but he’s why my late brother’s two kids now say they want nothing to do with our family, thanks to his lying about us. She dropped the subject.

All we can do is hope she can finally get to the nursing home she wants to be in, but I’m starting to wonder if she’ll even be happy there. There will be people talking in the halls. There will be noise. At least she’ll have her own room, though. Maybe that will be enough.

We shall see.

Nothing else we can do. It’s all up to the system…

… and the system sucks.

The Re-Farmer

Lots going on

You know, for a day where I’m stuck at home, there was a lot going on that had nothing to do with home!

But first, the cuteness.

Toni and Ginger, our two tripods, snuggling while they nap.

On my very cat fur covered bed.

So the first thing I got today was a message from my brother, updating on the situation with our mother. He had called the main office and it was confirmed my mother would be transferred to the temporary long term care centre in the town her apartment was in. They still had to get things ready for her at the other end, and then arrange transportation. They couldn’t say when it would happen, but they wanted to get it done as soon as possible.

Almost immediately after, I got a text from my sister (who doesn’t really do Messenger anymore).

My mother had just phoned her, convinced that if we just talk to the right people, they would get her out of where she is. My sister talked to the nurse and they said they had told my mother, repeatedly, that they don’t know when she would be transferred.

I’m not sure what my mother is thinking is going on. Perhaps she’s interpreting it as not happening soon. Or not happening at all. It’s hard to say, as she tends to twist things around pretty severely, once she gets a conclusion in her mind.

In the middled of that flurry of messages, I got a message from the cat rescue, asking when I was expecting to go to the city next. I responded saying I didn’t know, since I currently have no transportation and don’t know when I’d be getting it back. Otherwise, it would have been tomorrow and Friday.

It turns out they have dry kibble for us! I was incredibly grateful to hear that. Especially with how much we’ve been having to spend on the truck for the past while, and now with an unknown hanging over us. I spent some time on that group cat, too. If we don’t get the truck back soon, one of them volunteered to drive the kibble out to us. !!! They are so awesome!

Then later one – while I was cooking and couldn’t stop what I was doing, of course – I got a phone call. It was from the TCU, so I called them back as soon as my hands were free and clean.

The TCU nurse started off by telling my my mother accepted the bed in the other location.

I’m not sure why that was still an issue, after all the calls between us all that were done yesterday. They only needed to arrange transportation. She had already called my brother and left a message.

Would I be able to transport her.

????

I said no, I have no transportation. My brother is at work and my sister would be on the way to work. We thought they would arrange the transportation.

Oh, we always ask the family first, as there would be no charge. If they do it, there would be a charge for it.

???

I told her that if there is, my brother, as PoA would be the one to pass that information on to, and told her I would message him and update him.

This perplexed me because, when my brother talked to him, I was sure he told me they’d said they would take care of the transportation, because they were the ones doing the transfer. Much like when my mother first went to the hospital by ambulance, she got a bill for it, but when they used an ambulance to transfer her to the TCU, she did not get a bill for it, because it was their responsibility.

I messaged my brother and it wasn’t much longer before I got word back. He had called them back and was told our mother would be transferred later this afternoon (she might be on the road now, as I write this) and they are arranging a taxi van, so they could fit everything. This would include not only her personal affects, but her walker and wheelchair, so that makes sense.

He also confirmed that he had been told previously that there would be no charge for the transfer, but when he called back today, it never came up. He said he would deal with that later. For now, we just need to have her moved!

So the first, and only, time any of us heard about being charged for transportation was when the TCU contacted me earlier today.

Between all of this, I found myself spending most of the day on the computer, messaging back and forth with two very different groups of people – plus texting with my sister and on the phone with TCU.

As the afternoon progressed, without hearing from the garage, I sent them a text asking about the truck. I mentioned that I’d looked up the part, just to see what it looked like, and saw the prices. I let them know that if it needed to be replaced, we simply can’t afford it. Hopefully, it will be something more minor!

A response came in while I was outside, doing the evening outside cat feeding. It was very apologetic. They weren’t even able to drag the truck into the garage at all today. They will look at it tomorrow.

I can’t say that wasn’t unexpected. I knew they could only look at it, in between appointments, and once a lift would be free for at least a couple of hours. They have three lifts, but each one is different and used for different purposes, depending on what they need to be able to access. One of them can only fit small cars.

So, one more day with the Sword of Damocles hanging over our heads.

On a completely different note, when I finished putting food and warm water out for the outside cats, I went into the old kitchen and discovered Bug on top of chest freezer! She snuck in while I was going out and I never saw her.

Unfortunately, she was nervous and spooked. Usually, I can at least pet her and sometimes pick her up, but this time, she ran off and hid.

She’s still there.

I’ve set out food, water and a squeeze treat, squeezed out onto a container, to lure her out. It’s way too cold in there for such a tiny cat (the old kitchen is unheated and seems to have no insulation at all – it wasn’t needed when it was an active kitchen and the wood cookstove was always in use!) so I set up a carrier that needs some work done on it, wrapped in a blanket, on top of the freezer with another smaller blanket inside. I’ve checked a few times and saw her snuffling around the middle of the floor, but she ran off as soon as she heard me turn the door knob. I found the container that has squeeze treat on it stuck against the door, licked clean, so I know she’d gone onto the freezer again and knocked it off while eating the treat. Hopefully, she will come back out again, soon!

Really hoping I can snag her and set her back in the sun room, where she has access to the heat lamps and warm bodies to snuggle with.

I’m also hoping my mother will soon me in her new temporary long term care unit. She’s familiar with this place, as she has visited friends there before, and I think it will be a much better situation for her.

Now, if we could just have some good news on the truck and have that back soon. I’ll finally be able to visit her, as well as do a whole lot of driving around that’s needed! Which included picking up what is likely a build up of parcels at the post office. My West Coast Seeds order has been in for almost a week, now!

Ah, well. It’ll all work out.

Oh! My husband just informed me that Bug is in the cave I created for her! Now, if I can just get into there without her running and hiding again…

The Re-Farmer

Being watched, and an update

I just had to share this bit of cuteness, first.

Fluffer peeking through the bathroom window while enjoying any warmth coming through the screen.

In other things…

I called up my mother this evening. It ended up being a very challenging conversation. When I asked how she was doing, she switched to Polish and starting talking about the “Indianka” (Indian person) and her bed. At first I thought she was complaining about one of the staff somehow mistreating my mother while changing her bedding. She kept using Polish words I was unfamiliar with. I did figure out that the person she was talking about was in the room with her – and it was strange that staff would be fussing with her bed past 7:30pm.

After asking questions about just what the problem was, I eventually figured out that she was talking about her room mate. It seems this woman has been telling my mother to go away, and that my mother’s bed is her bed. There seems to be more as well, but my mother was having difficulty explaining to me. Once I figured it out, I said that this is something we need to talk to the nursing staff about. My mother said she’s already talked to them and they say there’s nothing they can do.

This is obviously an issue of someone with dementia. My mother has increased cognitive decline, but nothing like this. She said she told the nursing staff the people like her room mate should share a room with other people like her, while people like my mother should be sharing a room with someone more like her – this is in reference to levels of dementia. The problem with that is, there might not actually be someone there at her cognitive level. At least not another woman that she could share a room with.

Earlier in the conversation, while she was still speaking in English, my mother asked me if I knew about someone that had passed away recently. This person was part of a family that are “neighbours” out here, but I only know two of them – one of them was my elementary school teacher until 3rd grade, in the one classroom school our little hamlet used to have. Grades K-3 were all in that one classroom. It turned out that the person who passed was their mother. After getting a bit of a lecture about how I don’t know what’s going on, I pointed out to my mother that I’ve been stuck at home because the truck is in the shop; if I’m going to hear anything, it’ll only be if someone I know posts it on Facebook.

The truck reminded her to ask me when I’d be visiting her next. I explained to her the current timeline, and that it should be done on Monday. So am I visiting her on Monday? I said no, that’s when the truck is supposed to be done. I still don’t know how I’m going to get it. If anything, I’d be visiting on Tuesday.

When the conversation shifted to Polish and I managed to figure out she was trying to explain to me about her room mate, who was in the room with her while she was talking to me, she started talking about getting into the nursing home. It turns out the neighbour who passed away was in the nursing home she wants to go to. Which means a bed is now open.

We have explained to her that priority goes to people who are in the worst shape, but this was not the time to bring it up again.

As she continued to speak in Polish, she starting saying that my brother and I should go to the nursing home and explain my mother’s situation to them, and tell them she will pay them lots of money, every month, if they would just let her in.

So… she wants to bribe the nursing home staff.

I tried to explain to her again, that the nursing home staff have no control over it. It’s up to the government. The health department makes those decisions, not the nursing home.

I don’t know if she can’t understand this, or won’t. She is convinced that if we just ask and offer them money (she would be paying “rent” anyhow, so I don’t know what she’s thinking on that), they will let her live there.

I told her my brother had already contacted them and they confirmed this, but she kept on as if I never said a thing.

In other things, she mentioned my sister had visited. I told her I knew, and that she’s brought my mother the pickle juice she was craving. My mother was so happy about that. I think she just drinks a spoonful every now and then, but I honestly am not sure! I asked her how the food was, and she told me it wasn’t as good as at the hospital. Not bad, but not good, either. 😞

She went back to talking in Polish and saying she wanted to be out of there. Then began lamenting about how, in her old age, she now has no home of her own, no bed of her own. I told her, it won’t be any different in a nursing home, other than she’d have a room to herself. Oh, but at least she would be among her own people! She would be around Christians.

She still thinks the nursing home is run by the same people who ran it when she applied for a job there, 50 or so years ago.

Then she started telling me how she is afraid to sleep at night because of her room mate, and she doesn’t know what she might do. I don’t know what to make of that. One the one hand, if her room mate’s dementia is far gone enough, that could be a real risk. On the other, at one point of trying to figure out what the problem was, and my mother not being able to answer me (I still thought she was talking about a staff member at this point), I asked outright, is it because she is Indian? My mother answered, yes. So she might be fearing this woman because of her race. Or, more likely, it’s a combination of both.

Either way, my mother is not in a good situation, and there’s really nothing we can do about it. She’s in the system, and the system decides. My mother, however, insists that if we just talk to the right people, explaining her situation, and are bold about it, that system will be ignored and she would get to jump the que to get to the nursing home she wants to be in.

I’m really not impressed with this transitional care unit. I don’t have concerns with the staff or the measures they have to take. It really has more to do with the fact that they’ve got so many people in various states of cognitive decline, waiting to get into someplace else, in such a tight space and sharing rooms. This building is a converted hospital, but the TCU is only a small part of it. Too small.

I completely understand my mother’s feeling about wanting to get out, that’s for sure. Hopefully, she will get into a nursing home – even if it’s not the one she wants to be in, right away – soon.

Thankfully, my brother and SIL are back and they will be able to visit with her tomorrow. She will be very happy to see them. I suggested they might see about finding a private space they can wheel her to for the visit. There must be a common room or family room available. Somewhere that she can speak freely with them. I’ve already updated them on what my mother told me. Hopefully, they will be able to get more information from her, and will be able to talk to someone about it.

I honestly don’t know what we can do to make things better for her. She simply isn’t far gone enough for the system go consider her a priority when beds open up.

Plus, the system sucks at the best of times.

So very frustrating.

The Re-Farmer

Yesterday

Wow. What a day it turned out to be!

The original plan.

Get three cats to the vet for spay/neuter. That’s an hour’s drive one way, so we were going to drop them off, then stay in the (smaller, nearer) city to do any shopping we needed until we got the call to pick up the cats. Typically, that’s been around 1 or 2, though I’ve have them call me before noon at times.

Once the cats were picked up, we’d take them home, I’d drop them and our shopping off with my daughter, then I would go to my mother’s apartment in the town south of us, check on things, clean her fridge, pick up the wheelchair the hospital requested, then go to the town north of us, to my mother’s in the hospital. They want to measure her in it and see if it’s appropriate to go with her to a personal care home, whenever that happens.

After dropping off the wheelchair, I planned to visit with my mother for a while. Due to her cognitive issues, she was not told that there was an appointment at 6pm with my brother, as PoA, the doctor and myself, as her advocate for the past 7+ years. From there, I expected to go home.

Of course, that didn’t happen.

Well. Part of it happened.

The first thing to do was get three fasting cats from the isolation shelter, into carriers. We really, really wanted to get Frank. She was perched on the shelf above the cat bed, in the middle, where it was hard for either of us to reach her from the sliding windows. She did get close enough that my daughter could get her, but I couldn’t get around to get the carrier closer before Frank escaped.

Frank does NOT want to get got!

Thankfully, my daughter did not end up bleeding. (Side note: I finally found the scratch proof gauntlets today! They were hiding in plain sight, of course….)

So we grabbed who we could. That turned out to be Sir Robin, who is extremely easy to get got, Grommet, also and easy one, and a grey tabby with no name, because it was the biggest of the remaining cats in the shelter.

Oh, and we had 7 cats and kittens in there to fast overnight, not 8. I was sure there was a second tabby kitten in there, but I was wrong.

The tabby was not happy. This is a kitten we’ve been able to pet and pick up, but nowhere near as socialized as the other two. We were 99% sure this one was male. We’ve got several similar looking, short haired, grey tabbies that move around so much, I’m never quite sure if I’m looking at the same one twice.

Our goal was to be on the road by 7:30, to get to the clinic for 8:30, though our drop off time was 8:50.

We did manage to be on the road by 7:30, but with road conditions in places, we per parking at the clinic closer to 8:45. Which is why I always like to leave early!

During the drive in, I brought up that we needed a name for the tabby. Neither of us could think of one right away, but while checking them in, my daughter came up with Flopsy, because when we pick him up, that’s how he gets. Flopsy.

Once the cats were checked in and taken to the back, my daughter and I headed over to the Walmart and had breakfast at the McRaunchies there. It was shortly after 9am by then.

After breakfast, we did our shopping. With the polar vortex expected to hit soon, we had a few things we wanted to restock on, plus we found extras. That will get its own post later, since it did turn out to be a larger shop.

I got a message from my husband that one of my packages is in, so I added picking that up on my list of things to do after dropping off the cats at home.

When packing things into the box of the truck, we were selectively packing things into insulated bags to prevent them from freezing, rather than the other way around.

Of course, since I needed to get up and get on the road early in the day, I had an almost sleepless night. I was pretty tired, so we warmed up the truck and just stayed in it, while I tried to nap a bit. We had to turn the truck on to warm up again only once in that time.

After a while, though, I needed to use the washroom, so I headed back into the Walmart, while my daughter stayed in the truck. I hadn’t realized, while I was napping, that the weather had already started to turn. A huge wind had picked up, and there was blowing snow, everywhere. Not new snow. The wind was picking up any loose snow out there, and the parking lot was in whiteout conditions!

I headed in for a few minutes then decided to go to a Dollarama that shares the same parking lot. I found a few things there before rejoining my daughter in the truck.

By this time, it was well past noon and I was expecting to get a call from the clinic soon. My daughter needed her turn to use the facilities, so we both went in and ended up finding a few more things to purchase. Once we were done there, we decided we may as well go to the clinic. We could be in their waiting room instead of the truck, and it wouldn’t be too long, right?

Right?

We got there before 2, only to find out they hadn’t even started on any of the kittens yet.

Keep in mind, these poor things had been fasting for about 17 hours by then. It turned out the clinic had a couple of large dogs needing surgery that took more time, so doing the kittens got delayed.

Now, I hadn’t bothered to tell them that I had a 6pm appointment, because… well… it was at 6pm, and we dropped off at 8:45-8:50am. They know we hang out in town because of the long drive, and they’ve always made a point to do our cats quickly because of that.

Not this time!

When I found out the cats hadn’t been started yet, I told them that I had a scheduled appointment. I was assured the cats would be read by 4. I explained, it’s not just the appointment, but that I was needing to drop the cats of at home in our little hamlet, then drive to one town to pick up a wheelchair (forget cleaning out the fridge, at this point!) and take it to the hospital in yet another town.

I was told they would try to get them done as soon as possible.

So we sat to wait.

Next to a couple of adorable kittens in a cat cage that were available for adoption. While there, a tech came to get them and return them several times, and we learned that they were about to be adopted out together! So glad they are staying together.

It was about quarter past three when a tech came out. They were about to start on Sir Robin the Brave, but he had messed himself in the carrier (they’ve been in carriers all this time?? They usually get transferred to larger cages!), and his back end was a dried up mess. She confirmed that these were outdoor cats and that they would be going outside again, so they would try to wash him off as best they could, rather than just shave the area. Easier and faster to shave, but no one wants to risk him getting frostbite on his nethers!

Which means they didn’t actually start the surgery until probably half past three.

We could hear the techs talking at one point, probably while still trying to wash off Sir Robin, and heard them giggle with delight over his full name.

Then we waited.

When 4:00 came and went, I was messaging my brother to warn him I might be late.

Finally, at about 4:20, someone came out to let us know the cats were done. Still groggy, but awake enough that we could take them. We got the instructions (we’ll keep them in the isolation shelter for at least 3 days) and the carriers were brought out. I’d already left the donation funds with the front desk when we checked them in, so we could leave immediately. My daughter and I loaded the carriers and were on our way.

Thankfully, by this time, the winds had died down a little bit, and there wasn’t as much blowing snow. I was able to do the speed limit for most, not all, of the drive.

Once we got home, my daughter got out to open the gate, but left it open for me as I drove into the yard and up to the house. I started unloading our shopping just to the front steps until my daughter caught up and helped me. Once the truck box was empty, we unloaded the carriers. Then my daughter took over while I headed back out again.

I just barely made it in time.

I had just parked at the hospital when I got a message from my brother. They had just arrived themselves, were set up in a family room for the meeting, and told me where it was.

The doctor was a few minutes later, so we had time to catch up and focus on what we were trying to find out, etc.

At one point, my SIL asked, how do we respond if they try to send my mother home again?

My answer was simple.

No.

That’s it. Just, no. They can’t send her home. Homecare is not reliable, and I can’t be driving that distance – especially in winter! – to cover for them so often.

Thankfully, that never became an issue.

The doctor came in and actually recognized us, from when my mother was in the hospital almost a year ago. There was a nurse as well, who was also the note taker for the hospital (my brother took his own notes, of course. He’s very organized that way).

We had a very good and, I would even say productive, meeting.

One thing is clear. The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.

They knew nothing about the panels done by home care – I was there for both of them, including the one that was done before my mother went to the hospital – even though the report would have gone up to the same department the hospital has to go through when it comes to long term care assessment. He was able to let us know what was found in my mother’s X-rays that were finally done, though it wasn’t “official” since the radiology department still had to review them. As expected, she has severe osteoarthritis. That’s the source of her pain. He did not have access to my mother’s MRI brain scan results, but he could work on getting them.

We were very confused when he started talking about my mother’s congenital heart disease as the cause of her edema, when she’s been seen by a cardiologist, and her heart checked out better than most people a quarter her age.

Oh, wow. I just went out to meet the prescription delivery driver. That wind out there is BRUTAL!!!

Where was I?

Oh, yes.

So the doctor explained that they use the term “congenital heart disease” to cover a lot of things. In my mother’s case, it’s her A-fib, which she’s had forever (I have it, too). It has never been a problem. Now, however, he basically described it as the upper chambers of her heart being in a constant quiver, while the lower chambers are pumping normally, when it used to be just a little hiccup now and then. To put it simply, her heart is getting tired and misfiring more. This is what my father got a pace maker for, but she’s not at that stage. It didn’t come up as an option, though; we all know that at her age, surgery would be a greater risk than the A-fib is right now. That her heart is otherwise strong and healthy and all her arteries are clear helps, but it won’t stop the edema.

In the end, my mother has two issues going that mean she can no longer go back to her apartment to live independently, even with home care. There’s the edema, and the OA, and right now, the OA is causing her so much pain and reducing her mobility, it’s actually the more severe issue.

Then he had to get our consent (which they already got from my mother) to do a panel for my mother to go to a personal care home.

YES!!!!

Good grief. We’ve begging for this from the start.

So the official hospital testing and paperwork will be done and go to the department that makes the decisions. Because 1) my mother’s level of care doesn’t need hospital status, 2) she’s bored out of her tree and 3) they need the bed for more urgent patients, my mother will probably be transferred to a temporary long term care facility – she may even be back in the same town her apartment is in! – before being transferred to the nursing home she’s been trying to get into for the past 2 years or so. Even then, she might get transferred to a different one before she get get into the one she wants. Once she’s in a long term care facility, even a temporary one, there will be more programs and activities available to her, so she won’t be stuck sitting in her room, day after day.

We did also have a chance to discuss some other issues related to our vandal and that he might try to convince my sister to help him manipulate my mother. He’d managed to do this with my late father. Right now, the one thing protecting my mother from her own self sabotage is that my brother has binding PoA, so even if she is declared mentally unfit, he can take care of her. They already understand that, at this point, cognitively she cannot make things like legal decisions on her own, but they will get her officially tested and assessed, so that there is documentation. This way, even if they do convince her to sign something, it won’t be legally binding. My mother, with my sister’s help (“I was just following her wishes”, was her explanation) has already messed herself up so badly in other areas, she has no clue what she’s done and, legally, my brother can’t fix it. They also want photos of our vandal and my sister to have with my mother’s file, so they can recognize them as people with limited access to my mother.

I’m so disappointed that my sister got manipulated into it, and is completely oblivious to the harm she has helped cause. Honestly, I have concerns about my sister’s cognitive health, too. But she’s skinny, and we all know skinny people are perfectly healthy and never have such problems, even if she is almost 70.

Yeah, I’m being sarcastic, but that is essentially what I’ve been told flat out, in different ways.

So then we got to talking about my mother’s apartment. She’s not going back, we know that, but until the panel process officially declares that, it’s recommended we don’t end that contract yet. However, it’s basically 99.99% sure the panel application will accept that she needs to be in a personal care home, so go ahead and start packing. We can basically cancel her services while we pack and empty the apartment, little by little, so that once that official word comes through (and we don’t know how long that will be), all we would need to do is cancel her rental agreement with public housing.

That all done, we parted ways, then went to visit my mother. She was very surprised to see us (we learned my sister did visit earlier, as today is her non-sabbath related day off), and happy, too. Which was a nice change.

The visit was… about as good as can be. She was in a good mood and I think her pain levels are under control, as she had only a few “moments”. We updated her on the status of things, as best we could. We explained the importance of her accepting any transfer they offer her, because it’s part of the whole process of getting her where she wants to be.

Which was when she started talking about “going home”. Meaning, her apartment.

*sigh*

We had to go over that with her again. I expect we’ll have to do it many more times. The doctor, thankfully, is quite aware of her self sabotage. Sadly, this is something they encounter quite a bit.

While talking about temporary long term care and getting her to where she wants to be, she told us about someone that was across the hall from her. He was doing very poorly, they had to wrap his legs, there was always someone having to tend to him…

He just got transferred to the nursing home my mother wants to be in.

She was upset that he got in before she did.

We had to explain (again) that people who get taken to nursing homes more suddenly, it’s because they’re not expected to live long. People who are in far worse shape than she is in.

Her complete lack of empathy threw us, even though she does it all the time.

Things got off track a few times, but that did give me a chance to bring out a gift I got for my mother.

My mother has always loved to draw and is really quite good. She doodles all over. So I got her this.

An actual sketch pad, rather than the envelopes and scrap paper she’s been using, with tear off pages, and colouring pencils that don’t need to be sharpened. She already has pen and pencil.

I know it’s harder for her, with her vision getting worse, but she might have some good days and feel up to it. Or just be bored enough to try!

I honestly expected her to be angry, as she usually is when I try to give her things, but she was actually almost nice about it. She just commented on how she can’t really draw anymore, but we encouraged her.

We talked about her apartment, and she started telling us what to do with things. We had to reassure her, she didn’t have to worry about the “stuff”, we would take care of them, and we know she doesn’t want things thrown out (unless they are damaged or broken or course).

By the time we headed out, it was coming up on 8pm. I’d left home around 7:30, had breakfast somewhere before 9:30, and the only thing I’d eaten since then was a handful of cashews and a chocolate bar we’d picked up as road munchies, on the way home from picking up the neutered cats. I had hoped to stop somewhere to eat before going home, but it was so late and I was so tired, I just got some gas and headed home.

Just as I pulled up to the last stop sign, a couple of miles from home, the check engine light on the truck turned on.

*sigh*

I wasn’t about to check on it when I got home. My daughters, sweethearts that they are, had hot food almost ready for me by the time I got in.

What a long, long day, and I didn’t get anywhere near as much done as I had hoped.

I got to bed early (for me, anyhow), and woke up to this.

Yeah, that’s -31C/-24F with a wind chill of -46C/-51F

It could be worse. Some areas of our province were warned of wind chills of -50C/-58F.

That’s what I saw before heading outside to do the cat stuff, skipping most of my morning routine. By the time I got back inside, the temperature had dropped to -32C/-26F. When I headed out to meet the pharmacy delivery guy, it was back to -31C/-24F with the wind chill at -45C/-49F

The outside cats got their kibble and warm water. Even the heated water bowl in the sun room had some ice on top, and the one in the isolation shelter had frost on the edge closest to the window!

The isolation cats were all snuggled together in the cat bed. Last night, my daughter let out the “extras” that wanted to be let out, so there are now four teenagers in there right now. While I was doing the kibble and water, my older daughter gave the isolation cats a couple of cans of wet cat food. The benefits of being locked up in there is special food treats, which won’t freeze before they finish eating it.

It was still at -32C/-26F when I headed out again in the late morning. I got the truck going – it started fine and nothing sounds out of the ordinary – to get the OBDII scanner hooked up. I got the same code as last time; air-fuel ratio imbalance. Top recommendation is to replace the oxygen sensor. The other code concerns me more, though; power mode master input circuits mismatch. The top reported fix for that is replacing the ignition switch, while the next frequently reported fix is, replaced ignition switch wiring harness.

I’ve sent screen caps of the scans to our garage. I’m not as concerned about the O2 sensor. That seems to be temperature related, as it went away on its own, last time. Both code frequencies are listed as “common” for our truck’s make and model. I’ve looked up the parts and they don’t seem to be expensive, though these wouldn’t be local prices.

*sigh*

We really don’t need this. It’s the price of having an older, high mileage vehicle, but it was what we could afford and get financing for. Still, I’m so tired of these sensor issues – which apparently GM is notorious for.

Thankfully, we won’t need to go anywhere for several days. Today is supposed to be the worst for both cold and wind. Things are supposed to be a bit warmer, but still brutal, over the next three days. After that, we’ll have more average temperatures, with highs hovering above and below -20C/-4F.

Interestingly, the long range forecast is showing a whole lot of days above freezing, in February! February is usually colder than January. At least in the first couple of weeks. If the forecasts are in any way accurate, today and the next few days will be the last deep freeze of this winter.

I sure hope they are right. I so feel for the people that have to drive and work outside in these temperatures! Not to mention the critters out there. I’m glad we can at least provide some worth and reliable food and water for the yard cats – and whatever creature cleaned out every crumb of kibble in the catio shelter!

I am so done with winter.

The Re-Farmer

Again! but some good stuff, too (plus a bit of a rant)

First, the cuteness. I haven’t been able to take photos of the cats much lately, but I did get this adorable shot, yesterday.

Or was it the day before yesterday?

I’m losing track.

I was tending to the flexible hose for the emergency septic diverter, getting any liquid sitting in it, out, and the cats were very interested! Syndol, however, went for a post-eye view! 😁

This morning, I was just starting to feed the cats outside, when my cell phone started ringing.

*sigh*

There’s really just one place that calls my cell phone.

Home care.

Yup. They were short staffed again. This time for my mother’s morning meds.

Given what time it was, I quickly finished feeding the cats, grabbed my purse, then finished short rounds before heading to my mother’s. With what time she’s supposed to take her morning medications, I didn’t have time to change or call her ahead. So my mother got a bit of a surprise when I came in the door instead of home care this morning!

I wasn’t there for very long, but a lot happened in that short time. She has some confusion about her meds and that led to her making all sorts of assumptions and accusations. Then she commented on how the case coordinator we had a meeting with yesterday had said we’d soon be getting rid of the lock box. Very clearly, she said this, according to my mother.

Which is the opposite of what she actually said.

After answering her as best I could while doing her meds, I took her blood pressure. It is much better this early in the day than in the evening. She had already made herself some breakfast, but I was able to empty her commode for her. I offered to help her dress, but she was happy to stay in her warm and fluffy night gown today, as she doesn’t need to go anywhere. My sister will be coming by later, so she will be able to do more light housekeeping and laundry for her. Hopefully, she also found a hot water bottle and some Velcro shoes for my mother, too. Finding shoes that my mother can get her feet into is even harder than for me. She has massive bunions and bunionettes, so her feet are much, much wider at the ball of the foot, even compared to mine. My sister was also planning to bring some microwave dinners as well. Home care will be able to heat those up for Mom, if she wants them to.

As we were talking, my mother mentioned that our vandal and his wife had stopped to visit her not long after I’d left yesterday. !!! It seems they were on the way back from another chemo treatment. Apparently, he was so sick, he couldn’t sit down, but had to lie on the couch and, even while driving, has to lay the seat back.

If he’s that sick, he shouldn’t be visiting my mother.

But, he’s playing her like a lute, and it’s working. She feels so sorry for him, and started telling me how my brother and I shouldn’t be “afraid” of him, and that we should basically suck up to him because he’s sick. She heard the messages he’d managed to leave with my brother’s voice mail, and knows full well he claims we caused his cancer, among other far more vile things he said about me and my daughters. Unfortunately, she is easily swayed. I don’t know what he’s trying to get out of her (and I doubt his wife has any idea that he made those calls), but he’s certainly succeeding in getting her to feel sorry for him. I think my brother may need to keep an eye on her accounts to see if any checks made out for large amounts get cashed!

After I left, I decided to stop at the post office to pick up a couple of parcels. I have another that’s supposed to arrive tomorrow, and was going to pick them all up on my way home from getting the truck to the garage, but went ahead and got the two that were there today, anyhow. More on that later!

Once I got home and updated my family, I called up the case coordinator. She was actually in her office, so I was able to talk to her directly. I knew she would have heard the messages I’d left yesterday, but there was no need for her to follow up on those. I wanted her to know about how my mother had declared she had said the opposite of what she really said, about the lock box, and about my mother’s confusion with her bubble packs.

I also mentioned that our vandal had showed up yesterday. She is somewhat aware of that situation. We talked about how it would work out if my mother were in a nursing home. Particularly the one she wants to be in. I would hope that we’d be able to ban him from visiting her, but they don’t really have security. Their security is to keep nursing home patients from wandering off, not to keep people out. The only real way to keep him away would be if there were a court order, and we looked into that several years ago. My mother would have to go to court herself, which she physically can’t do. My brother, as PoA, could only do it on her behalf if a doctor declared my mother mentally incapable of doing it herself. That she is physically unable to doesn’t matter. Granted, her cognitive decline would make it difficult for her to do it, too, but she’s not far enough gone for the PoA to kick in, in that regard.

Either way, it’s disturbing that he keeps showing up at my mother’s, and that she lets him in. At least his wife is with him, so he’d be on better behaviour. Apparently, he’s so unwell, he can’t sit, and had to lie down. Even while in the vehicle, he has to have the seat back. Even the case coordinator wondered, if he’s that sick, why is he stopping to see my mother?

Once all that was done, I could finally make myself breakfast – brunch? Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. Once again, I am giving up sugar and simple carbs. Bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, that sort of thing. The first year I did that, it was not that difficult. Last year, it was oddly difficult. But then, it wouldn’t mean as much if it was easy.

I ended up making a creamy meat soup for breakfast, with bacon lardons, celery, mushrooms, ground beef, mushroom broth, cream, a can of mushroom soup and a handful of shredded cheese (cheddar and mozzarella). It turned out delicious!

That done, I finally got to opening the packages. One of them was the keyboard protector I originally bought for myself. March is a birthday month, though, and after talking to my younger daughter, I found that my older daughter would not want what I originally planned to get her. Knowing that she has the same issues with cats on her keyboard that I do – and her computer is how she makes a living – I decided this might make an acceptable gift, instead.

When I took it out of the box, I discovered some pleasant surprises!

This is what I got. (not an affiliate link) Just a basic acrylic piece in the large sise, that would fit over my ergonomic keyboard.

It was not the only thing in the box!

The cover itself came with self adhesive, no slip pads to protect the desk surface. There is also an optional back cover, with clear Alien Tape type stuff to attach it, if necessary.

Then there was the clear acrylic phone holder.

A colourful round mouse pad.

and… what the heck???

An odd looking stick and some brightly coloured fuzzy things???

The odd looking stick turned out to be a “fishing rod”, and the fuzzy things were the “lures”.

It was a cat toy, with two different fluffy “lures”.

I called my younger daughter down and asked her if she thought her sister would like it as her birthday gift. We knew she wouldn’t have much use for the phone holder, and the cat toy would, of course, be for the cats, but she said that yes, her sister would like the gift. So she took it upstairs to set up over her sister’s keyboard as a surprise.

Then she got the cat toy out and put it together with a highlight marker yellow lure, discovering that the rod was telescoping!

The cats went absolutely insane over it!

Unfortunately, one of them woke up my older daughter after parkouring off of her stomach to get to the other room and try and catch the lure!

So my older daughter now knows what she got for her birthday – and then promptly fell back asleep!

My younger daughter was able to get all the cats downstairs and played with them for some time. Only the three grandmas were completely uninterested, and stayed on my bed! Tin Whistle was the most insane with her leaping and twisting and flipping through the air. Amazingly, the cat that was almost as acrobatic was Tin Whistle was Cheddar! He’s such a big boy, I really did not expect that!

When she saw Tin Whistle actually starting to pant (cats should NOT pant!), she stopped and tucked it way into the bathroom, where the cats are not allowed, until next time.

I plan to get two more of these covers. One for my own keyboard and one for my younger daughter. While I did balk slightly at the cost, the extras that came with it more than made up for it! Only the optional back panel was included in the description.

I am getting quite the giggle out of this “Engrish” description of the large sized cover.

【large size】20”long x 7”Width x 4.7”high. 0.4” thick;- this is large enough to cover each of them with enough room for keyboard. It’s high enough allows boys with large palms to type without any hindrance. that you can use the keyboard easily. It’s thick so it can take the weight of you chonky adult cats easily. Compared with glass, the sturdy and drop-proof acrylic material makes it safer.

Boys with large palms!

You chonky adult cats!

Too funny.

On a completely different note, I’ve been chatting with the Cat Lady today. They’ve been in the US for the past while, combining a family holiday with her husband doing a presentation at a conference. It turns out he was offered a job and they are seriously considering moving. Or, more accurately, she would really like to move. He’s not too keen on moving. As someone who has moved so many times, I’d be more like her husband on this one! Plus, they’ve been in their house for less than 2 years. So why would she want to move?

Better weather (Florida).

Better healthcare (US in general)

No state income tax (her husband would get to keep 52% more of his income).

Better political leadership, both state and federal.

I can’t argue against any of those points. Especially right now, when our Liberal government has chosen a tariff war that will destroy our economy, rather than accepting the reasonable request of beefing up our border security, dealing with the fentanyl crisis and meeting our NATO obligations, all of which we should already be doing.

If you’re hearing about it in the news and the US is being painted as the “bad guy” in all this, and Canadians are all up in arms against Americans and boycotting, they are lying. We could easily have avoided a tariff war, but our governments, federal and most provincial, have decided to play a dick waving war. Most Canadians see that, but you won’t be hearing about them, in the media.

Like the quote, wrongly attributed to Sun Tzu, goes…

An evil enemy will burn his own nation to the ground… to rule over the ashes“.

That is what our own government has chosen to do. Burn our nation to the ground, but now they can blame Trump for it. Our own government is the “evil enemy”, not the US.

Honestly, it’s gotten to the point where, if it were an option, I’d be moving, too. That whole “51st state” thing? That might well be the only thing that can save Canada. Lord knows, we haven’t been able to save ourselves. As I write this, Trudeau is still our Prime Minister, having stated his intent to resign after a new Liberal leader and PM is chosen, in a few days.

In our system. we don’t vote for our Prime Minister in federal elections. We have 338 elections for our Members of Parliament. The party that has the most winning MPs wins the federal election, and that party’s leader becomes the PM. The PM is supposed to also be an MP. Technically, he or she could still be PM if they did not win in their own riding, but they would not be able to debate in Parliament. In the rare event that this happens, an MP that did win would volunteer to step down. The party leader would officially move to that riding and be the MP in their stead.

On announcing his intent to resign, our Prime Dictator got the Governor General (who is supposed to be a neutral representative of the crown, but is a partisan T2 appointee) to shut down parliament. This was to avoid a planned vote of non-confidence which would have passed and triggered an election. The act was blatantly unconstitutional, but then, most of what T2 and his Liberals have done for the past 10 years have been unconstitutional and often outright illegal, and they’ve been getting away with it.

With T2 (not to be confused with his father T1, who was the most hated PM in Canadian history until now) saying he will step down when a new party leader is selected, there is now a leadership race. They managed to get rid of the one person that was actually competent (a woman born in India, and if there’s one thing our “feminist” PM can’t stand, it’s a strong, ethnic woman), so there are 4 people running for leadership. The one that they are blatantly working to install is Carney, a guy that hasn’t lived in Canada for more than 10 years, holds 3 passports, has destroyed the UK economy and, it turns out, has been advising our Prime Dictator for the past 5 years. So he’s been busy destroying our economy, too. Of course, he isn’t an MP, but that doesn’t seem to matter. He’s actually worse than T2. If (when) he is installed, he would automatically become PM – though when asked directly, when he would resign, T2 said it would be up to whoever won the leadership race. So… he might not resign after all.

Carney, meanwhile, has already talked about using emergency measures in Canada. My prediction (please, God, let me be wrong) is that, once installed into office, he’ll pull a Zelensky. Invoke the war measures act (aka: the emergency act) and declare martial law (because, Trump), and ban any elections. They can keep parliament from resuming, but can push through that “internet safety” bill they were trying to force through before parliament was shut down. This bill, if passed into law, would literally allow for people to be arrested for thought crimes and pre-crimes. Basically, anything anyone says that the government does not approve of can lead to charges, but it would also allow people to press charges against each other essentially for hurt feelings. It would allow them to ban opposition parties, start arresting anyone who disagrees with them, and give them the power to control the media, including social media.

It blows my mind that Canada has fallen so far. Worse, there are so many people who actually cheer this on.

So… yeah. I can understand why so many people have been leaving Canada (a trend that has been going on for years) for greener pastures, like the US.

I would certainly be sad to see the Cat Lady and her family go, but if they are able to escape, more power to them!

Thankfully, we live in the boonies. Things would be much worse if we still lived in a city!

I also mentioned to the Cat Lady about my having to cover for home care so many times. She completely understood our situation. Her mother had gone through the same with her mother (the Cat Lady’s grandmother. She had to be there almost all day, every day, because there were so many cancellations and screwups.

Suddenly, our situation doesn’t seem to bad!

When I got the call this morning, I confirmed that this evening’s med assists were still on schedule, and was told yes. I’m still half expecting my cell phone to ring, and be told they suddenly don’t have staff again.

What a mess.

Still, we do what we have to do, right?

*sigh*

The Re-Farmer

A quick update

My brain is feeling fried, so not much to say this time.

While heading to my mother’s for the meeting with home care, I noticed the trip meter on the truck was already at almost 450km. It’s only March 4, and I reset it when I filled the tank at Costco on Feb. 28. Just over 100km of that was the trip home. The rest was the first three days of March.

If I keep getting so many calls to cover med assists like in the past couple of weeks, this is going to be a very expensive month on gas!

I got to my mother’s early, in case she needed help with getting dressed or anything like that. She was already dressed and ready. She and I are alike in one thing: if we have some sort of appointment, we can’t sleep the night before.

Yeah, I’m didn’t get much sleep last night, either.

We got to talking and my mother quickly launched into an attack on my brother. She started accusing him of keeping secrets from her again, and said a few strange things. One was how he “brags” about his technology (he doesn’t brag. Even the slightest attempt to talk about his work is so far beyond her ability to understand, he avoids talking about his job at all). Then she said, she doesn’t want his technology, but his kindness.

No one has been kinder to my mother than him. No one has done more for her than him. He has covered her butt for decades. But because he doesn’t tell her all his personal stuff, and doesn’t always agree with her, doesn’t allow her to treat him like her personal slave, that means he’s not kind to her – then she suddenly started saying that it’s his wife that controls everything. !!!!

There was one thing she said that actually confirmed something we’ve suspected for some time now. A matter of phrasing, really.

She is getting my brother mixed up with my dad.

He looks more and more like my dad as he gets older. My mother and my dad were always butting heads. A very dysfunctional relationship. We’ve noted that she’s treating my brother like she used to treat my dad. Today, she actually started talking about him as if he was my dad.

Then there was a knock at the door, and the case coordinator arrived.

We talked for while about all sorts of things. They’ve not been able to find exactly what happened with the morning no-shows. The best they could come up with is that there was confusion and lack of communication because a previous shift scheduler has been away for the past month, and there is come chaos with the people filling in for her.

I tested my mother’s BP so she could see how my mother has to move around when just shifting from chair to chair, so I could access her left arm. My mother and I had already decided that, at the end of the meeting, I would take her to do her blood work, so the case coordinator could observe how my mother gets into the truck, and moves around in general.

In the end, it looks like my mother will start getting some meal assists – all they can do is things like make her a sandwich, or reheat leftovers. My mother was indeed already scheduled for longer time in the mornings, for assistance in dressing and emptying her commode, but it hasn’t been happening, so that will be looked into. I don’t think my mother is in “bad” enough condition for her to actually get considered more urgently to get her into supportive living or long term care. Which is so very frustrating.

After the meeting was done, I got my mother to the lab in the local hospital with no doctors, just a few blocks from my mother’s place, for her blood work. Only one vial was needed, and no one else was there to get done, so it was really fast. Just that outing wore her out, though, and she was glad to be home. It was just coming up on lunch time, so I got some food together for her before I left.

And that was pretty much it. I had actually intended to go for a nap, I’m so tired, but after I had my own lunch, it just didn’t make sense to try and nap, or I’d screw up my own night. So I’m basically just dragging my butt through the day until it’s a reasonable hour to go to bed.

I need sleeeeeeepppp.

Thankfully, I don’t have any appointments tomorrow, so I should be able to have a recovery day. Unless I get another call from home care to cover my mother’s meds again! Then I have the appointment at the garage for the truck to do a whole bunch of relatively small things before they become big things, along with replacing the oil sensor. Which means a few hours in town, while it’s being worked on. I should have several parcels to pick up by then. Two are already in and waiting. One is something I finally broke down and ordered; a clear acrylic guard for my keyboard, to keep the cats from walking on it and digging under it! Ghosty in particular is truly dedicated to waiting until I’m in bed, then digging under my keyboard. She’s even knocked it right off my computer table at times! That and many is the time I’ve gone back to my computer and discovered all sorts of strange things have been opened, some of which I have no idea which keys got stepped on to find!

Anyhow.

Time to move on to things that don’t require much thought processing. Like laundry!

The Re-Farmer

So frustrating!

Well, today – after three delays due to pandemic lock downs – I finally went to court for our restraining order application against our vandal.

Only to find it was delayed for a fourth time.

The frustrating part is that I called to confirm, just a couple of days ago. I was even put on hold while the person talked to someone else to be sure. Then she gave me the number for the Crown office, where I could get other questions I had answered, and I spoke to someone there, just yesterday. Though the prosecutor I spoke to had no connection to my specific application, as far as he knew, this courthouse was open.

Worse, my brother booked a day off work to be there for me.

We both came very early (more on why, later) but couldn’t figure out which court room was going to be used. One of them turned out to have a trial in session in it, but I went to the court office nearby and asked.

image source

One of the people there recognized me and remembered my call from a couple of days ago. As far as she knew, I had been told of the date shift. Everything had been delayed again, until April 23rd. Near that date, I’m going to have to call again to find out if it’s been shifted again, or if I have a new court date. While I was there, the person at the counter looked up the file, and it did say today’s date. However, only those files that have legal representatives are going ahead today, virtually, through the big city. Mine is a private prosecution, so even if our vandal lawyered up, it still would have been shifted.

I had actually gotten through to the Crown office, yesterday, so I knew what to expect. There were three possible outcomes, assuming our vandal showed up. The judge would first ask if both parties agreed to the application. In his experience, the person the order is being applied against never accepts that option. Next, we would be offered mediation. For this, we would sit down with a third party, who would try to work out an arrangement between us. I don’t know if our vandal would agree to that, but even if he did, I don’t know that I would. After we pressed charges when he broke our gate, he had to go through some sort of program where he was seeing a psychiatrist (or a psychologist? I don’t know. We were never informed) regularly. Once the program was complete, the charges were stayed. The thing is, even while he was going through the program, he was still making abusive calls to my mother, and actually using it against her. He still hasn’t taking any sort of responsibility for his actions. If that didn’t work, how would mediation be any better? Anyhow. If mediation was not agreed upon, it would then go to a hearing, another court date would be booked, and for that we would be able to file additional evidence, affidavits, bring witnesses, etc.

None of this can happen, though, because everything got shifted again.

This is getting beyond ridiculous. We have been fortunate, in that our vandal has (so far) only engaged in property damage, creeping around the driveway, watching us from the road, and verbal abuse. However, considering the sudden bunch of calls he left on my mother’s answering machine not long ago, he is not all there. For all we know, he might go on a drinking binge after his wife leaves for work, have another “mental break” (as his wife described it), grab one of his many guns and come after us. We may have a crossbow now (and yes, it’s assembled, but the scope isn’t sighted yet), but that isn’t much defense against a gun.

How many other people in similar situations – or worse – are there, whose applications are being repeatedly delayed like ours? In our province alone, likely dozens. And for what? Schrodinger’s virus, where we hadn’t even been part of the pandemic until our provincial government created the very environment that would create an epidemic? Even at the highest rates, our uptick of excess deaths at the end of last year happened after the strictest lock downs, which cannot possibly stop a virus, were enforced, and includes people who died because of the restrictions – and still didn’t reach exceptionally high rates. We’ve had much higher spikes in excess deaths just within the last five years. The increases in suicides and other deaths of despair, drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence and child abuse is a consequence that is being acknowledged in at least some places. People have been trying to warn for months about the increases in deaths due to lack of timely medical care that are happening now, and which we’re going to be hit with for years, because of the restrictions. Situations like ours isn’t even on anyone’s radar, from what I’ve seen.

Okay. Rant over.

The session was supposed to start at 10am. The smaller city it was to be held in is about 45 minutes away, on the highway. Last night, we started to get a combination of snow, sleet and rain. Not heavy, but enough to make the roads more dangerous. Normally, I would have left and hour + early and taken a particular route, but this morning, I left 2 hours early and took a route that was longer (in time, not distance), but less isolated. I am glad I did, because it took me more than an hour to get there. I was happy to see the plow trucks out, clearing the slush away. It seems the conditions had actually improved by the time I was on the road. I saw one car (empty) far into a large ditch. What was more telling was the tire tracks I could see in the slush on the shoulders. Something happened in that area that had people swerving all over and, in some areas, I could tell people had reversed and pulled over.

When I got to the building the courts and court office is in, it was mostly empty. Not seeing security guards at the door should have been my first warning, but I was so early, I thought they might not have set up yet. After a quick run to the washroom, I came out to find a single person walking down the hall towards the court rooms, and that was it.

That person turned out to be my brother. I didn’t recognize him, because he was masked. *sigh* He recognized me, though. Even with the light from windows behind me, I was the only person with a visible face (I had my Mingle Mask). That and, let’s face it, I have a rather distinctive short, rotund silhouette. ;-)

We were trying to figure out which court room was going to be used when I saw a lawyer looking dude come around, so I asked if he knew which room was being used for general session. He only knew of a trial that was happening in one room, already started, and suggested we try the court office. Only one person was allowed in at a time, so my brother waited in the lobby while I went in, and that’s when I found out about the shift.

So my brother and I headed out – he happened to park right next to my van – and talked along the way, but there’s nowhere to even sit over a hot non-denominational beverage (I don’t drink coffee… LOL) and talk. He booked a day off work, drove all the way over to the courthouse – about the same distance as my drive – and it turned out to be for nothing. Watching my gas gauge on the way home, I figure it cost us about $30 in gas for this trip. Each.

At least I was able to take advantage of it and make a quick Walmart run. My brother just headed home.

Once I was safety parked, I made a point of calling my mother to update her on what happened. Or, should I say, what didn’t happen. She was frustrated, too. She is really worried about our safety.

But what can we do? Apparently, nothing at all.

I’m not going to waste my time or energy worrying about it, and will just do what we can for now.

So I promptly let it go and did my shopping.

Walmart is getting their Easter inventory in. There were so many eggs, they were on pallets in the aisles, rather than in the fridges! (For those outside of North America, our eggs get washed before they get packed in cartons, which removes their coating, so we have to keep our eggs in the fridge to keep them from spoiling). I don’t think it was much of a concern, though, considering how fast people were already grabbing eggs from the pallets. I’d actually forgotten about Easter preparations. It’s still too early for that, isn’t it??

They did get more canning supplies in, but I didn’t see more 750ml jars. I didn’t see a lot of snap lids or rings, either. Thankfully, I don’t need more rings or lids right now. I got another case of 500ml jars. We will continue to stock up on the jars throughout the summer, little by little. They sell out fast, but I don’t think there is currently any shortage of canning jars at the moment. I imagine there will be, later in the year. A lot of people will be gardening for the first time this year.

Speaking of which…

I decided to pick up some Jiffy pots. I’ll talk about why in another post, but as I was going through the till, the cashier asked me about them. She wondered if you had to somehow use the Jiffy pellets in them, and I told her that she could use whatever soil mix she wanted, and that they were designed to be buried with the transplants. It turned out that she was going to try growing a garden this year, but she is in an apartment and would be growing indoors. I told her that, if she were growing in containers, she could still bury the pot with the transplants in her containers.

I hope her indoor gardening attempts work out well for her. :-)

I hope the same for all the people who are going to try growing their own food for the first time this year!

For us, if nothing else, focusing on the gardening and taking care of this place helps relieve the frustration of dealing with our vandal. Very good for mental health! :-)

The Re-Farmer