Okay, so my new computer is still in the endless check update/just a moment…/restart/check your Wi-Fi loop.
Yes, we even have the machine hardwired to the network now, and it’s still in the loop.
I went to the website and registered my system, which gives me an extra year on the warranty. Then I went looking through their troubleshooting and support sections.
When I went to the support section, I got this pop-up.

Well now. It looks like the company with the terrible rating is NOT the company this system is from.
Also, the office the customer service number goes to is in California.
Depending on how things go, I think I’ll be calling them during office hours, tomorrow.
My husband has suggested I serve my computer up on his desk in the living room. That’s his leatherworking station. It’s covered with stuff I’d have to clear off, first. Then I’d have to dismantle my entire computer system and carry it over, hopefully without letting cats through, then setting it up again – with no way of knowing if it would make any difference until I restart the computer again.
I just don’t have the spoons for that.
The Re-Farmer

Jeebus… what did you do to piss off Life so much?@?
I hope it all auto-resolves overnight!!!
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Not sure if we solved the problem or not. We ended up moving the Orbi device to my room. It stopped restarting itself, went through the “checking for updates” stage, and has stayed at the “just a moment…” stage. Which *should* mean it’s installing the upgrades.
The problem is, there is no other information. No status bars, nothing. I know it will take a long time to install updates, but how long is too long? I’ve finally just left it and gone to bed, but of course, I can’t sleep.
Not at all the sorts of problems I anticipated.
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I’ve had my fair share of computer problems, too, and just thinking about it gives me anxiety. You’re brave trying to sort it all out yourself, I’d pay the computer guy to help me with the mess. Good luck.
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Well, the nearest computer guy is my husband. After that, it’s probably a city trip. So we really don’t have much choice!! 😁
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