Oh, goodness.

It did go okay, and the end, but wow.

First, though, the cuteness. This is what I saw after I got home.

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Almost. They moved before I could get my phone out to take a picture. When I first came in, Grommet’s chest was plastered against the window screen, with Stinky plastered over top of him. Enjoying the warm air coming from the bathroom! We keep the bathroom door closes, so none of the inside cats come in, so it doesn’t affect our thermostat. The window gets opened when someone is in the shower, to let moisture out, since the ceiling fan stopped working. Again.

They want in. 😄

My first order of business today was to go to my mother’s apartment and check on things. As I was doing the morning routine, though, it was still so incredibly slippery. I knew the roads wouldn’t be as bad, but just walking around the yard was insanely dangerous. I ended up grabbing a bucket and a spade and collecting ashes from the fire pit. There wasn’t enough to do all the paths, but I was able to scatter ashes on the main ones, including to the garage door. What a difference that made!

Happily, the roads were well plowed and nowhere near as icy, and the highway was mostly clear. What wasn’t was wet, rather than icy. We exceeded our predicted high and reached 3C/37F, though the town my mother’s apartment is in was a bit warmer, and the town the hospital is in reached 5C/41F, according to one of the announcement signs I passed while on my way home!

I hadn’t had breakfast before I left and by the time I got to my mother’s town, it was lunch time, so I paused to pick up some fried chicken and wedges at our favourite gas station, and took it to my mother’s to eat.

When I got there, I found a message from my daughter. She had been in the shower when my mother phoned, and she could actually hear her shouting to the answering machine. She was asking where I was, sounding very angry and out of breath.

So I immediately called the hospital to talk to someone at the nursing station. I told her I was at my mother’s apartment, but my mother had called our home, yelling at the answering machine and sounding out of breath. Before I had a chance to say I was going to be there later, she said she would check on my mother right away and ended the call. I was good with that!

I started to eat my breakfast when I got another message from my daughter. My mother had called again. My daughter wasn’t near a phone so it went to machine again, and she could hear my mother demanding to know where I was, and that it was an emergency.

!!!

After that call, my daughter told me she was going to keep a handset close by, so she could answer before it went to the answering machine. Thankfully, it turned out to be unnecessary.

I called the hospital back.

When I got the nurse again, it seems she heard my mother making that call, and saying it was an emergency.

There was no emergency.

My mother tried to say, oh, it was just to my daughter. The nurse told me she explained to her that when you say “emergency” it can mean very different things.

What she wanted was for me to visit.

*sigh*

I’ve since listened to both messages. They were both very short, and wow, did she sound furious!

I told her that I was checking on my mother’s apartment in another town at the time, but that I would be visiting her in the afternoon, with a few errands in between, and she promised she would let my mother know this.

After that, I could finally finish eating!

I then packed up a few things, mostly canned goods, and shifted things from her freezer to the fridge before setting it as low as it could go. I’ll come back soon to clean out the jars of frozen stuff (I can’t quite tell what some of them are). After that, the fridge can be shut off entirely and cleaned.

I took care of a few more little things before heading out. My next stop was the hardware store, looking for some Roof Melt, but they didn’t have any. Then I drove to the next town to visit my mother in the hospital.

When I got to her room, I was surprised to see her door wide open. There was quite a bit of bustle going on, with my mother in a wheelchair and some of her things packed up. They were in the process of moving her to another room!

My arrival paused things. They had been about to have my mother set up in the hallway while they cleared her room, but with me there, did I want to take her to the cafeteria, instead?

Which is when another nurse walked in and said, no.

??

My mother wasn’t going to be moved. They would move someone else.

The shuffling has to do with the size of the rooms. People like my mother, who are there for longer periods, get the “corner” rooms, as they are larger, and single beds. They were going to move my mother so that someone from a smaller room could be moved into hers, but decided to instead move the other patient to the room they were going to move my mother to. So my mother could stay where she was!

This hospital only has 8 extended care beds, and 4 “special care” beds. I think my mother is in an extended care bed.

So, that commotion done, I helped my mother transfer from the wheelchair to her favourite chair in the corner. She was clearly in a lot of pain.

Once everything was settled, I jokingly said, “so, I hear you’ve been difficult!”

I then told her that, when she had tried to call me, I was at her apartment, checking on things. I could see she was torn between happy that I was doing that, and angry that I wasn’t there when I called!

She chose angry.

For the next while, she ranted about how they are not taking care of her, they don’t care. She hasn’t seen a doctor. They don’t care. They see all these other patients, but not her. They don’t care. They say she’s been seen by doctors, but she has eyes and she hasn’t seen any doctors, the entire time she’s been there. They don’t care. They walk around in the hallways talking, instead of taking care of her. They don’t care.

She wants to leave.

She even said, she could go back to her apartment.

*sigh*

I totally understand that she wants to leave! She’s been there for about a month now. It took a while of explaining (you’re on their side! you always make excuses for them!) things like she can’t leave without a doctor discharging her. She can’t go back to her apartment, because she would have the same problem of not having help available when she needs it. No one knows where she is going next and yes, we are frustrated about that, too!

Thankfully, between that and a nurse coming in a couple of times to refresh her water, etc., my mother finally calmed down and we could talk normally.

One of the things she brings up is her pain. Apparently, she ran out of Voltaren, so she went into the hall with the empty tube, asking for more, but they aren’t using it on her (she’s now scheduled to have it applied twice a day). Someone finally took the empty tube and said they would get a new one, but they were running around tending to other patients, but not her.

…

I had to explain again, that she is actually doing really good. Her treatment right now is all the pills she’s taking (thirteen! Yes; they’ve added in her painkillers…), checking her vitals, etc. She asked, why are they weighing her all the time, so I explained that it’s to keep track of any changes. A sudden change in weight is a warning sign.

She was somewhat mollified.

As for her pain, I told her I would talk to the nursing station and see if they can get some Xrays done and see what’s going on. It’s probably arthritis, and there isn’t much they can do about that, but at least they would have a better idea of what’s going on. She was very happy at that suggestion.

Then I found out my sister had come by yesterday, which is her mid week day off. My sister never complains, I was told. And she’s never in a hurry, I was told.

*sigh*

My mother is so determined to drive wedges between us.

Then she told me our vandal visited yesterday.

Twice.

!!!!

It seems he was being treated yesterday, and he visited her before and after treatment. During one of them, he brought someone along. My mother wasn’t sure what they were, but it sounds like they were a therapist or counselor or something like that. He was, of course, on his best behaviour, and even asked her to sing some songs for him.

…

Red flags, all over the place.

Also, the doctors have apparently told him there is nothing more they can do for him. Which means his condition is terminal.

More red flags.

Based on past history with my late father, we’re going to have to be on the lookout that he doesn’t show up with a lawyer or something, and try to get Power of Attorney away from my brother. My mother would be very easily manipulated at this point.

Someone from the hospital, meanwhile, had called my brother last night and requested a copy of his PoA documents. I have copies of them, so I was able to bring them today. That, at least, has been taken care of.

Meanwhile, my mother talked about how our visits were “like medicine” and she felt so much better.

I’m not sure what she expects. She had visitors yesterday, but today she was calling us in a fury, demanding my presence? The only reason she told me about her visits yesterday was because I mentioned I had originally intended to visit yesterday, but the conditions were too slippery. I told her, now that she’s in town, I will be able to visit more often, but I don’t know when that would be exactly, from week to week. She told me, she would at least be happy with a phone call.

Then she started complaining that my calls weren’t getting through to her, and the nurse had to pass on messages. I explained to her that when I call, it’s to the nursing station, and they transfer me only when I ask them to. Since I was at her apartment, I had instead asked them to pass on the message, that I would be visiting.

I had to repeat it a few times, but I think she got it.

I’m happy to say that, when I left, it was on a good note. Very different from when I first arrived!

As promised, I stopped at the nursing station to pick up the documents, then talk about the possibility of getting X-rays for my mother. I mentioned that my mother still insists a doctor has never seen her. The nurse I was speaking to told me that she was with the main doctor when he saw her – this would be the one black doctor in the entire hospital that my mother doesn’t remember seeing. She did admit that it’s been a while since he’d seen her.

When I mentioned her pain, I was asked if my mother had been in any accidents, and I told them about her car accident, years ago, that is why one of her knees is currently bent sideways. As for her back and hip pain, it’s probably osteoarthritis. We talked about her current pain medication, which clearly isn’t cutting it anymore, and even the Voltaren doesn’t seem to be working as well anymore, either. The nurse promised to talk to the doctor about arranging X-rays, so they can have more information and determine any changes in her painkillers, at least. That’s about as much as they can do right now!

That done, I did the rest of my own errands before heading home. With how warm things got today, I knew the roads were going to get quite icy again.

If all goes well, I expect to be back at my mother’s apartment this weekend. Possibly with my brother, if he can squeeze out the time.

We’re going to need to get moving boxes or bins and packing material soon. We still don’t know where my mother is going but, with my brother’s availability, it would be good to get things mostly packed up before the end of the month.

We really need to get some idea of what’s happening next with my mother! All we know is “she’s not going home” – but until that’s official, there still is the possibility that they’ll discharge her to go back to her apartment.

Being in limbo sucks.

The Re-Farmer