I got a call from home care last night.
No med assist for my mother this morning, nor for tomorrow morning.
*sigh*
Which meant I was out a bit earlier to feed the cats and do my rounds, but I didn’t have time to water the garden. The heat is on and is staying for the next few days, so we will likely be watering twice a day again. My daughters took care of the watering while I was out.
When setting out the cat food, I’ve been putting some in a try by the back door of the garage, where the garage kittens have been hanging out. Usually, I see them playing behind the garage, then running to hide as soon as I come near. They weren’t there this morning, though their mother followed me.
It wasn’t until I was heading back to the house with the bowl that I saw them! The white and black one was at one of the water bowls. It is a large former heated water bowl and was needed refilling, so the kitten was basically climbing the side of the bowl to be able to get to the water. The smokey one was a few feet away, chewing on some taller grass. As I very slowly and quietly got closer, it saw me and ran away…
In the direction of the house!
I still had to put the food bowl in the sun room, so I tried to skirt around, worried I would scare it away completely, but nope.
It ended up running into the sun room – then started eating!
I ended up leaving the bowl outside and finishing my rounds, leaving the water refills for later, so as not to scare them off.
I am so happy they have finally come to the house!!
That done, I was soon on the road to mother’s. When I called her about it last night, I remembered to ask her to make a shopping list so I could do her groceries as well. She had that ready when I got there. After giving her her medications, we went over the list, and added a few more things to it.
Her shopping goes pretty fast, so I was soon back and putting things away. My mother was getting dressed for the day and asked me to rub some Voltaren on her lower back, where things have been bothering her. The morning med assist with home care has extra time to do stuff like that for my mother. She tells me they don’t do a very good job of rubbing it in, though!
There were only a few odd things with my mother on this visit. During conversation, it got around to getting the door fixed, and I told her it was going to cost over $4000. She had asked me to let her know how much it would cost some time ago. I did mention it shortly after we got the estimate, but she got distracted by something and I don’t think she heard me. Her immediate response when I told her the amount today was, “I don’t believe it.” I’m not sure if she was accusing me of lying, or that the company was over charging. I went with the latter and told her that my brother had replaced a door on his house – just the door, not the frame – and did all the work himself, and it still cost them over $2000. That was years ago, too, before all the prices started going crazy.
She still doesn’t believe it.
Since she did ask, I mentioned a few other things we’re dealing with when she suddenly got all overwhelmed, saying it was “too much for me” and too much for her to deal with.
???
I said to her, I’m not expecting you to do anything. I’m just telling you about it! This isn’t for you to fix. Then I realized what was going on and added, I’m not our vandal. He used to go to her for money constantly – and she would give it to him! He got many thousands of dollars out of her, and I think she was expecting me to ask her for money. Now, she did imply that she would help with the cost when she first told me to let her know how much it would be, but this is my mother we’re talking about. She’ll throw money at our vandal at the drop of a hat, likely due to some odd feeling of guilt over how he’s turned out. Especially after the youngest of my brothers died, and he took full advantage of that. When it comes to me or my brother, however, she will often make promises about paying for things, then try to back out at the last minute. She did that when it she said she would pay for our moving out here to take care of the place, then tried to do it again with the new roof. So I don’t ask. She still acts as if I’m making demands of her.
Makes it very hard to have conversations with her at times.
As I was getting ready to leave, my mother asked about our crab apples. I told her, we won’t have apples until the end of August on one tree, end of September on the others. Well, someone had left a big box of crab apples in the common room, and she’d taken some for herself and for me. I’d seen the apples in the box and, while I knew my mother would have picked the best she could find, they weren’t in good shape. She started bagging up some crab apples for me and I tried to tell her we didn’t need any, I just did our big stock up shops, we have plenty of fruit, etc. She scoffed and started telling me how I should cook them, what I should do with them. All desserts. I told her, we’re not really dessert people. She scoffed again and said she was saving me money by giving them to me. I’m not sure how, but she then started talking about how I should be cooking our own food, and I would be saving money by cooking…
???
I told her, of course, I’m cooking. What does she think? We get food out of the air?
She started talking about how we’re “modern” and about food in boxes.
So… because I didn’t want to take the crab apples, she thinks I don’t cook, and we only eat prepared food from boxes?
I told her, do you know how expensive boxed food is? I do the cooking!
Ah, but we must be buying boxed food all the time, and that’s why we’re always short on money.
…
So…
Things are tight (which I didn’t even talk to her about in any way) isn’t because everything is breaking down and needing to be replaced or repaired. Not because the cost of living has gone through the roof. No. It’s because, in the almost 40 years since I moved off the farm, I apparently never cooked and we only eat prepared food.
I told her she was starting to make things up, just like our vandal. Her response? Well, I guess he had to learn it from somewhere.
…
*sigh*
So I now have a bag of bruised crab apples. We’ll find something to do with them. They won’t go to waste. My mother does have an incredible talent at making what was supposedly a gesture of kindness into a pretty nasty attack on my uselessness as a human being. Absolutely bizarre.
Ah, well. Not much we can do about it.
I had considered going back to the grocery store for ourselves, but just didn’t have the energy. I had tried to go to bed early last night, but that didn’t work. My left hip was particularly bad last night, so I got up to take painkillers – the first since I’ve been on anti-inflammatories – but didn’t have a water bottle handy. I now have a small drinks fridge in my bedroom that my daughters gave me to make space for the AC upstairs, so I just had to stand up and take two steps to get a water bottle.
Instead, I got hit with a Charlie Horse in my left thigh. I couldn’t even stand up, never mind take those two steps.
It’s been a a while since this has happened!
Thankfully, what I could reach was the Tei Fu lotion. Also thankfully, it wasn’t as bad as others I’ve had, and the lotion soon did its work. Getting back to sleep after that, though, was not easy, as my leg would still twitch and twang as if it was going to start cramping up again, for hours.
Being as tired as I was, and after dealing with my mother – and this her on a good day! – I was more than ready to just go straight home.
As I write this, it’s coming up on 5pm, and I’ll be heading out to do the evening yard cat feeding. I’m not looking forward to going out there. I think doing my evening stuff in the heat yesterday is what triggered the Charlie Horse last night. Plus, we’re still in the hottest part of the day. We already hit our expected high of 28C/82F, while the humidex put us at over 30C/86F. We’re not expected to cool down to our overnight low of 16C/61F until 6am tomorrow, and then it’s going to scream right back up again. There is rain in the forecast but not for another 4 days.
Definitely need to water the garden again tonight. I did use that Shake ‘n’ Feed fertilizer on most of the beds, so hopefully that will help with every watering as well.
Speaking of gardening.
Yes. I did it again.
I placed another seed order.
What can I say? MI Gardener went from having a 25% off sale, to a 40% off sale.
This time, I got some more unusual items, as well as varieties that I want to try at some point. Most of this is pure seed inventory stuff. I’ve already got the order confirmation, so I’ll write about that in my next post.
After I feed the kitties.
I wonder if the garage kittens are still close to the house, getting to know their cousins?
The Re-Farmer
The Re-Farmer 