Not physically tired.
Mentally tired.
Emotionally tired.
My brother and I visited with my mother today, at her request. We were there for almost three hours, with my brother ordering and picking up a lunch for us.
I’m not even going to get into it much, but she was all over the place. From getting mad at my brother, instead of grateful, because he picked up enough Pepto (which she says helps her so much) that she won’t run out again for probably a year (she actually said that she might sell some of them, before my brother even finished taking them out of the bag!), to talking about our vandal like he was some kind of saint for “helping” my dad so much before my dad went into the nursing home (he was actually pretty abusive to my dad, and his abusive behaviour towards my mother is why she moved off the farm in the first place), and so on.
When she started on how wonderful our vandal is, I figured that was a good time for me to take out her garbage. I just had to get out of there. A part of me understands that here’s some sort of guilt association on her part towards him. Considering how she treats those who are actually kind and helpful to her, and how she treats someone who was abusive towards her in between “helping” (because he thought he would get this property for it), really doesn’t sit well with me. Truthfully, though, theirs was a mutually abusive relationship.
We never got around to talking about her car at all, nor about her possibly helping us with the cost of replacing the door and frame, but she did bring up some “grand” ideas that would have completely messed up her own finances, which my brother, thankfully for her, has been keeping in order for her.
At least she was grateful, sort of, I think, for the cordless kettle my brother got for her. I had no idea she was worried about using her stove top kettle. Now she has a kettle that will shut itself off. We made sure to get it set up and tested out for her, and made sure she knew how to use it.
By the time we left, I was honestly feeling the most depressed and psychologically exhausted I have in ages – and this was a “good” visit!
So here is some cuteness, instead.
I’ve moved that blue tray into the portable greenhouse so it wouldn’t get rained on. A lot of the kittens like to hang out in there, so it didn’t take long for them to find it!
The size difference between these two was just too adorable. They look like they could be father and offspring! That’s Stinky, though, and he’s neutered, so they’re probably half-siblings, instead.
This evening, I did take recordings for the September garden tour video. I started and restarted several times before I could get into it, just because my head space was still messed up from the visit with my mother. I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much today, but I’ve been finding myself on the verge of tears repeatedly, since I left her place.
On another topic, Eyelet has settled in quite well at the foster’s. Meanwhile, I’m going to be meeting up with the woman who started the new rescue tomorrow afternoon. She has some cat food donations for us! That is so very appreciated. Plus, I’ll finally get to meet her in person!
For now, I should start editing the garden tour video. Hopefully, that will help my mood, somewhat. 🫤
We shall see.
The Re-Farmer
The Re-Farmer 